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magician-kitty · 10 months ago

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Impossible Delivery

Another day of training on Flower Fruit Mountain, MK and Monkey King were training. Wukong and MK land opposite of the other, MK panting, wiping the sweat from her brow.

Monkey King smirks, chuckling, taunting the teen to attack him. MK spun her staff, leaping towards Monkey King with a battle cry.

As the two spared, Wukong dodges every one of MK's attacks. When Wukong tried to attack from the air, MK countered using the staff. Wukong jumped up again causing MK to lose balance and fall off the mount.

Once she regarded her balance, she ran at the king but Wukong just dodged every one of MK's attacks again. When MK landed after an attack Wukong wrapped his tail around MK's leg, then jumped up and threw her into the training field.

Wukong then lands and pulls MK out of the crater as the ground fixes itself.

"Better. Way, way better. You're totally getting the hang of this, bud!" He praised her. MK got all starry eyed at his compliment. "Aw really?"

"Yeah! I mean, it makes sense, you are getting trained by me. Now, we just gotta work on your focus."

"Yeah I am the best at fo-" her eyes widened, frowning at Wukong. "What!? What do you mean, 'work on my focus?!' I'm like #1 Focus Gal!"

Monkey King groans, pushing The Monkie kid away with a frown. "Please, If anyone is the number one focused "Gal" it's me." He grinned, pointing at himself.

"Say what!? Literally your whole legacy is about you being impulsive and dodging responsibilities!" MK pulled out her journal, flipping through the pages to prove her point.

Monkey King is seen a few feet away, eating peach chips. "Mmm! That's where you're wrong."

"That time you ate all the Immortal Peaches you were meant to guard?" The teen raised a brow, giving her mentor a skeptical look.

"That was a long time ago," Monkey King huffed.

"When you kept annoying everyone in the celestial realm?" MK grumbled.

"That's a matter of opinion~" Wukong chuckled.

"What about time you picked a fight with bud"MK was cut off as monkey king shoved a peach chip in her mouth, silencing her before she could say anything else.

"You see that right there is the problem, you stress too much about the negatives." MK angrily ate the chip while Monkey King continued his speech.

"Focus is about taking in everything, but honing in only on the thing that matters. Right now, I'm talking to you while also noting the speed of the wind, the moisture in the air, these 37 emails from my lawyer, the first 18 episodes of Monkey King: The Animated Series. And inner resonance of my soul while contemplating the fact that I am an immortal being— Who will never be able to die!! His tone got all dark, making the poor girl jump in fright.

"And that bug right over there..." There was a grasshopper on a blade of grass before hopping away.

"But! I'm paying attention to you. Sweetheart." He gives MK a big smooch on the cheek, making her blush. Monkey King pulled MK close, nearly choking her as he stood from the ground.

"Just take in everything. Choose what you want to do and then do it." Monkey King smiled. "That is focus."

"That sounds...super confusing and like you're just constantly distracted."

Wukong only frowns, cocking brow of the teen. "Or maybe...you just can't handle real focus, Miss Thang."

An arrow is jabbed into MK's chest. "SHOTS FIRED" as she gasps dramatically.

"Oh no you didn't! She growled. Monkey King grinned "Oh, yes I did!"

"I can totally focus! I focus all the time! Matter of fact, the very next thing I do is gonna be the most focused thing ever!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As MK entered the Noodle shop she immediately ducks as a spoon came flying at her. Pigsy stood in front of her, angry. "You're late Missy! Pigsy said placing another order on the indoor bar next to the others piled up.

"I've got 200 orders of noodles that haven't been delivered yet!!"

"I'm sorry Pigsy, training ran a bit longer than normal, and I forgot the time" MK said as she puts her work uniform on.

"Well now your here, get going on delivering those noodles!" Pigsy said thrusting the orders into the teens arms and shoved her out the shop.

"Be careful sweetheart!" Tang called out to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MK begins her task, making her deliveries. A stop sign stood ahead of him as she stopped the cart, taking a breath.

"Okay, do just like Monkey King said. Focus. Take everything in." She looked around to list her surroundings. "Lamp post, street sign, amazing, awesome arcade filled with the best games in the universe." She quickly shook her head. "Ah! No! I have to focus! Focus!"

But she couldn't focus, listening to the sounds of people laughing, playing video games. It was too tempting. She bursts into the arcade, causing a huge shockwave, startling the surrounding civilians. MK inserts a couple of tokens, laughing as she plays the games inside. She gasped, eyes widening in realization.

"Aw crap! I got distracted! Pigsy's totally gonna fire me! That's it, no more distractions."

MK screeches as he zips down the road, declining any form of distraction that passed her. In the end, she stopped at a cheese tea stand.

"Yeah, can I have a large.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dang it! Come on, MK! You've fought deadly demons! Survived active volcanoes, Faced Pigsy's wrath on Mondays! You can easily cover over five thousand blocks in eleven minutes. I can do this!" and with that, she shouts, hitting the gas. She is then stopped by a crossroad, humming in thought while scratching her chin, staring up at the sign in front of her. On her left was a sunny area and on the right was dark and mysterious.

"I think we all know what the obvious choice is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Damn, Damn, Damn!"

There were cobwebs everywhere. Covered the trunks of dead trees, as mist clouds the path. MK drives down the path, looking left and right, as crickets echo in the distance.

"I should be getting close. I'm..." She looks at her phone. "So far away!" She slams his foot on the brakes, stopping the cart. She held her head in frustration. 'Why can't I focus?! Monkey King makes it looks so easy, I'm never gonna master focus' MK thought clenching her eyes shut. Her phone ringing startles her as she screams, quickly answering it.

"Hello?....Oh hey Pigsy!..Yeah, everything's okay Totally got this under control!...Uh-huh...You g-got it....Bye...." The Monkie kid screamed in frustration, Just as MK ended the call she breaks down crying, she curled herself up in a ball.

"Monkey King was right, I just. Can't. Stay. Focus! I am so gonna get Fired!!" MK said banging her hands on his head as tears streamed down her face. A look of sheer panic spread across her face. Her breath quickened, and her heart raced.

Oh no, She was having a panic attack.

‘No, not again, not now!’ She thought in her head, clutching her beating heart. She can't do this...

...Wait...

She soon stopped when she remembered something Mr. Tang told her if she ever suffered another panic attack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Xiaotían, Look at me, please." MK struggled to raise her head, but he made eye contact with Tang. A look of total horror was written all over her face.

"You're having a panic attack, I need you to breathe with me, okay?" MK was in an odd state, it felt as if her soul had left her body. Still, though, she managed to understand the scholar. He assisted her in sitting up and directed her to take deep breaths. "In, and out, in, and out," Tang repeated. They both sat for a few minutes, breathing in sync.

As MK had calmed down, Tang sighed in relief. "It's okay sweetie, Take your time," he commented. She wrapped her arms around the Scholar. Tang returned the gesture with a smile.

"There there, you're okay now. I've got you." He smiled, rubbing her back in a soothing motion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MK smiled at the comfort memory as she wipes the tears from her face and took a deep breath, finally calming down, She stood up, dusting herself off.

"Alright, let's try this again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took some time but she finally made it after so many obstacles. MK got off her vehicle in a hurry and stood in front of a large temple with the order in hand.

She walks up to the large doors and knocks, "Pigsy's Noodles!" She called out, the big doors opened to reveal someone she didn't except to see. "Hey sweetie! You Finally made it." Monkey King said smiling.

MK's eyes widened in shock. "M-Monkey King!?" She gasped, "Wait, was this all a lesson to see if I could focus?!"

Monkey king laughs nervously. "Uhh, Yeah! Of course. I definitely didn't just order three helpings of noodles to my shame temple. Anyway! C'mon let's eat, you've been training so hard, and you probably didn't eat much." Monkey King said patting the girl on the back and his point was quickly proven when the her stomach let out a loud growl making the teen's turn red in embarrassment.

"Yep, thought so. C'mon before the noodles get cold." Monkey King said dragging MK inside.

"Oh well, at least i finally learned focus."

#lego monkie kid #tales of the monkey princess #monkie kid mk #lmk monkey king

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago

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sucker for pain ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1494

request?: yes!

“can you please do a colson one where the reader is getting their first tattoo and he’s by her side then he realizing they have a pain kink and yeah”

description: in which he finds out his girlfriend has a kink he’d never imagine she’d have

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

*i changed it from the reader getting their first tattoo because i missed the “first” part when writing for some reason i’m sorry i hope you still like it!*

gif credit to @poppy-in-the-woods !

“Are you sure you want to get a tattoo on your ribs?” Colson asked as you waited in the lobby for your next tattoo. “You know how much that hurts, right?”

“It’s one of the more painful places,” you said. “I know that. Have some faith in me, baby, I’ll be fine.”

Colson still looked skeptical, but decided to drop it. You were stubborn and you were set on getting this tattoo, he knew he wasn’t about to talk you out of it.

You had decided a week or so back that you wanted to get a tattoo in honor of Colson. Instead of something small, like his initials or his name or something, you decided to get your favorite of his lyrics tattooed on your ribcage. You even had him write the lyrics out so you could get his writing as the font for it.

It was a bit big of a tattoo, and you were getting it in a very painful place, so Colson was worried you weren’t going to be able to handle it when the tattoo started. He insisted he wanted to come with you to be your emotional support if nothing else.

“Hey (Y/N)!” your tattoo artist, Mack, said as he walked into the parlor. “You’re early! Wanna get started now?”

You shrugged. “Yeah, why not?”

“Okay! Follow me in.”

You followed him into his area and he pulled the curtain across to block the view of anyone from outside. He turned back to you and Colson, eyeing your famous boyfriend for just a moment. “So, he does realize you’re going to be shirtless for this entire thing, right?”

Colson chuckled and nodded. “I’m aware you’re going to be starring at my girlfriend in just a sports bra for like an hour or more. Don’t worry, I’m cool with it.”

You could see Mack’s shoulders slump as he sighed with relief. “Okay good. You would not believe how many boyfriends lose their minds over their girlfriends having to take their shirt off for a tattoo, even if their tits aren’t actually out. If (Y/N) wasn’t a regular, I probably would’ve turned her down for this one just for my own safety.”

You laughed as you began to unbutton the blouse you had decided to wear - much easier to get back on once the tattoo was done. You laid down on the table and Mac started to line up your tattoo on your ribs.

“Last chance to back out,” Colson said as he sat down next to you.

You shot him a look. “Why are you so intent on me giving up on this because of pain?”

“She’s a tough chick, man,” Mack agreed. “I don’t think she’s ever flinched while I’ve given her a tattoo. It’s like she gets off on the pain or something.”

You shot a glare at Mack that he didn’t see as he was back on to you before relaxing your head back on the table. Colson looked at your curiously, making a mental note of what Mack had said.

The tattoo began and Colson took your hand in his. You looked over and smiled at him for a moment, wincing slightly when the needle touched your skin first. The pain suddenly radiated through your ribcage, but it didn’t bother you the way Colson had expected it would. You would wince every now and then, but you still had a light hold on his hand.

When Mack was finally finish, the black letters were bolded by the red of your irritate skin. Mack cleaned it and placed the bandage over the fresh tattoo. “I won’t give you the spiel on how to take care of this thing for the next few days.”

“You’ve said it so many times I think I know it word for word at this point,” you teased. You winced as you sat up from the table, both from the pain from the tattoo and from the stiffness of your back. “God, you guys need more comfortable tables. Feels like I was lying on the floor for an hour.”

“You’ve been there before, you know how uncomfortable it is.”

You playfully stuck your tongue out at him before turning to Colson. “What do you think, babe?”

Colson’s eyes studied the tattoo for a moment, still processing the fact that you got a major tattoo on your ribcage and barley flinched the entire time. “It looks really good. Is it what you wanted?”

You smiled. “Of course it is! I have something to remind me of you forever now, which means please don’t break up with me. It’ll cost so much to get this removed or covered.”

Colson chuckled and also rose from his seat. “I promise babe.”

You pulled your button up back on and headed to the front to pay for the tattoo. You couldn’t help pulling your shirt up to look at the tattoo once more as you and Colson started walking towards the door.

“Mack is probably the best tattoo artist I’ve ever been to,” you said. “He’s just phenomenal. I don’t think I’d trust anyone else the way I trust him.”

“He seems to know you pretty well,” Colson commented. “Like the fact that you seem to be into the pain that comes from getting a tattoo.”

You felt your face heat up as you tried to look away from Colson. You kept your voice as light as possible as you said, “Yeah, well, I’ve gotten a few tattoos at this point. I’m just used to the pain of the needle I guess.”

“I’m literally covered in tattoos and sometimes the pain is still unbearable for me,” Colson pointed out.

“We’re different people, Colson. Different people handle pain differently.”

Colson looked over at you as you tried to avoid his eyes. You wished you had been the one to drive so that you could get out of this awkward situation a lot sooner.

“Babe,” Colson said. You sighed and finally turned your head to look at him. “You know I am the last person to judge you on your kinks, right?”

You nodded. “I know, but...I’m just worried what your reaction would be if I straight up told you that I have a pain kink.”

“Well, for starters, I’d tell you that you’re dating the right guy since all I do is hurt myself.” You chuckled at this. “When did you realize you got off on pain?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I was a teenager I think. It might’ve been when I got my first stick and poke tattoo. All my friends hated the pain and complained for days, but I found myself kind of liking it. When I started having sex, I’d ask my boyfriend at the time to choke me or spank me, basically anything that caused the slightest bit of pain.”

Colson shuffled in his seat, a bulge beginning to grow in his pants that he was hoping you wouldn’t notice.

“Not all guys are into the idea, weirdly enough,” you continued. “I’ve been with some guys that consider it a deal breaker. I even had a one night stand just completely stop having sex with me because I kept telling him he wasn’t being rough enough. I guess I just associated that negative reaction with the kink in my mind and never wanted to tell you in case you thought the same way.”

Colson chuckled. “(Y/N), I have a foot fetish. I am literally the last person you have to worry about thinking your pain kink is weird.”

You smiled. “Yeah, you have a point. I just don’t wanna scare you off. I like you a lot, Colson.”

Colson reached over and took your hand in his, giving it a slight squeeze. “You won’t scare me off. I wanna know what you’re into, and what will make you feel good when we’re having sex.”

“You make me feel good anyways,” you assured him. “But, if you’re really interested in getting to know that side of me more, I could show you exactly what I’m into.”

"Even though you just got a new tattoo.” You gave him a look, which caused him to laugh. “Okay, fair enough. I’d love to learn, although it may take me a long time, fair warning.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need.”

Colson smirked and leaned over to kiss you passionately. You turned as much as you could in your seat to cup his face and deepen the kiss, slipping your tongue into his mouth for a short while. When you pulled away, Colson nipped at your bottom lip, which caused you to clench your thighs together in anticipated pleasure.

“Get us home before I climb on your lap in this parking lot,” you told him.

Colson didn’t have to be told twice. Within seconds, he had the car started and was racing out of the parking lot and back towards his house.

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #imagine #one shot #request #mgk #est #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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shywitchyfangirl · 4 years ago

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Tips for Beginning Spirit Workers!

Me? Posting something useful instead of just memes? GASP!

1. Plan communication and housing methods in advance. This is your responsibility, not the spirits’. Housing can include binding them to an object, binding them to yourself, letting them wander your house, or (my personal method) building an astral temple for them. Communication can take all kinds of forms, including dreams, hallucinations, Ouija boards, body sensations, intrusive thoughts, and telepathy. When starting out, you’ll probably be working with sensations and intrusive thoughts, and work your way up to other forms. An important thing to remember is if you’re ever unsure if something was them, assume it was. False negatives do far more harm than false positives when you’re trying to learn how to communicate. Assuming your spirit said something they didn’t might annoy them, but denying real messages will prevent you from developing your senses and harm your relationship with them.

2. Set boundaries and keep them! It doesn’t matter who they are, how powerful they are, or if they’re a literal god. You have rights, and they do not own you. Take no excuses, make no compromises. You don’t need to explain anything. If you give some spirits an inch, they’ll take a mile. I have a rule that no one can possess me while I’m on my period. Why? Because I don’t want them to, end of discussion. If anyone throws a fit about your boundaries, you don’t want to work with them anyway. If you’re planning to let them stick around, setting house rules is also very important! (”Don’t mess with the other human residents” is always a good starting point.)

3. Doubt happens. Even the most experienced spirit worker has moments of “Oh gods, I’m just crazy and talking to myself.” Don’t beat yourself up over it! Healthy skepticism is what keeps us sane. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad spirit worker. Try taking a moment to reflect on the times when your spirits did something that proved themselves to you, because I promise, those moments will happen too! One of my earliest moments was when a spirit possessed my and drew a bunch of dicks in my notebook before I even realized what she was drawing. If you haven’t had one of those moments yet, just remember the golden rule: You can’t be imagining it, because your imagination should never surprise you.

3.5 Know your craft, not others’. Related to the above, a big source of doubt is when you read about other spirit workers’ doing things differently. Remember, the term UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis) exists for a reason. Your Mileage May Vary! Every spirit worker experiences spirits differently. Different doesn’t mean wrong. Figure out what’s best for you and your spirits, and have confidence in your craft.

4. Don’t trust just anyone. Not every spirit you contact will be on your side. Some have their own agenda, others just want a plaything. Some spirits will pretend to be someone else to get past your defenses. The best way to stay safe is to always trust your instincts. If a spirit gives you a “bad vibe,” DITCH THEM. Never give them the benefit of the doubt. There is not a single spirit you NEED to have in your life, and thus there’s no reason to give a sketchy spirit a chance. Aside from that, don’t just assume any spirit you contact will be friendly and benevolent. Most spirit workers go through a “vetting” period of at least 3 months before deciding if a spirit is truly good to join their team. Yes, THREE MONTHS. You don’t want to allow just any powerful astral being into your life, do you? Remember, spirits have power, and they CAN hurt you. If you wouldn’t allow any random stranger into your house, don’t allow any random spirit into your life.

5. Do your research! Spirits aren’t human, and they don’t have the same wants and needs as humans. Research in advance what the particular species you’re summoning wants and needs. If they’re from a pop culture series, research the series. Research their friends, family, and enemies. Know who they will or won’t work well with. If they’re a nonhuman character, pay special attention to their species’ attributes, such as behavior, communication, and any unusual needs or weaknesses. You are responsible for your spirits’ safety while they’re with you! Remember, there’s no such thing as knowing too much. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be!

6. Respect their boundaries. Not every spirit wants to be worshipped, especially pop culture ones. Some find it flattering, others find it creepy. Similarly, not every spirit wants to be your best friend forever, and not every spirit is eagerly waiting for your call every second of every day. Spirits may be cool, but don’t be a stalker. Give them some dang space. Also accept that many spirits don’t plan to stay with you forever. There may be a few that will be with you until you die (or even follow you to your next life!) but the vast majority have lives outside of you just like humans do, and there will be a time when you don’t need them or vice versa. Don’t feel bad about them leaving, and don’t try to force them to stay. Spirits come and go, and it does not mean you’re a bad spirit worker if you lose a few allies. Your closest friends will be the ones who choose you, and those are the ones you really want in your inner circle.

7. Don’t call up what you can’t put down. Always always ALWAYS have a banishing spell ready, and be sure to start small. Practice with a simple Pikachu before you go summoning Arceus. And keep that banishing spell handy during the vetting period! Many spirit workers suggest doing a banishing spell after every summoning unless you plan on letting the spirit stay permanently. It’s also always a good idea to have some kind of restraint the first few times you call on a spirit, even if it’s just a circle of salt. Personally I like to keep one of my stronger spirit family members around to babysit the new guys.

8. Always stay protected. Shield spells are your best friends. Use them. Keep them updated. There is never a reason to not be shielded. There is also never a reason to not have your house protected. At least once a month, update your wards, cleanse and banish everything, and recharge your home’s energy. Don’t worry, you can set your wards to whitelist your approved spirit family and any specific spirits you want to lure in, but it’s best to not allow just anyone in off the street. Consider placing sigils around to mark your territory as your own, or you may find someone or something trying to move in and claim your house for themselves!

9. Know the facts about spirit attacks. The first rule is that you’re probably NOT being attacked. If you have to think “Was that a spirit? Am I being attacked?” you’re definitely not being attacked. Spirits are empowered by your fear, they WANT you to know they’re attacking you. One time when I was attacked, the spirit broke my rainbow fountain right in front of me in a way that made both separate lights simultaneously only glow blood red. That doesn’t just happen. And then they immediately and obviously tried to pull me out of my body so they could take it over. The other two times, the spirits tried so hard to suck me out of my body that it made me disoriented and felt like someone was vacuuming my head while my body felt cold. Spirit attacks are always obvious because they’re trying to scare you. Which leads to the second rule: NEVER PANIC. The more afraid you are, the more power they have over you. Stay calm, put up a shield, call a trusted alley to aid you, and banish their ass to next week. Remember, most spirits who attack are just bullies looking for a new toy to torment. Even a simple “fuck off” can give them the message you’re not worth the trouble.

10. Be prepared before opening up to possession. Possession is real, and it can be dangerous. With a trusted ally, it’s tons of fun, and you can even ask them to handle things like chores for you. With literally anyone else, you’re putting your life at risk. There is nothing stopping a strong enough spirit from throwing you off the nearest bridge. The good news is that forced, full possession is rare. The bad news is it can still happen, and it’s very hard to stop when it does. This is why it’s so important to vet your spirit allies before allowing them close to you, ESPECIALLY before letting them possess you. If a spirit shows any sign of not respecting your boundaries, get them the hell out of your life. Luckily, partial possession is much more common (when you’re still in control but either being influenced, or only your limbs are moving without your input). This version can be fought off via internal struggle or countered with a cleansing spell or an ally’s help.

11. Get creative with offerings. Offerings are Spiritwork 101. You won’t be getting a lot of help from spirits if you don’t pay them back. But the important part is knowing exactly what to give them. There are certainly things that are standard, and things that are easy enough to guess (Moon water for the moon goddess, flowers for the nature spirit, etc.) But the best offerings are ones that are personal, creative, and meaningful. Your fairy friend probably has a thousand flowers, but have they tried your pancakes? Would your familiar like a friendship bracelet in their favorite color? Hell, does your ancient ancestor want to try Starbucks? Also note that offerings can be experiences, not just gifts. Some spirits love to hear new music. Jevil loves to possess me and play games, or even just watch me play them. And Seam likes to be cuddled while he possesses a body pillow, or to be read to. The better you get to know your spirit friends, the more ways you’ll find to make them happy.

12. Recognize a spirit calling, but don’t answer them all. As you progress in spirit work, you’ll start receiving “spirit callings”. Callings are different for everyone, but they’re generally feelings of obsession over a certain spirit. You may find yourself thinking “everything would be okay if X was here” when you’re having a bad day. You may find yourself wanting to know everything about them. You might notice signs of them, such as feathers if they have wings. If it’s a pop culture spirit, you may start obsessively tracking down fanworks of them. If you can’t get a spirit out of your mind, you’re probably being called! This means that good things could happen if you work with this spirit (though it does NOT mean the relationship will last forever!). However, this doesn’t mean you should answer ever single calling. It’s always important to know your limits. If you already have lots of spirits hanging around, adding one more won’t benefit you or them, no matter how strongly you’re called to them. Remember, there will always be another calling.

13. Know your limits. Speaking of which, remember that you’re responsible for your spirits, and you should never take on more than you can handle. Spirit hoarding is a real thing, and it’s harmful to everyone involved. Know how many spirits you can handle at once, and know how close you can get to each of them. My astral temple is designed to let dozens of spirits come and go as they please, but of those, I’m only comfortable getting truly close to exactly two at a time. There is no shame in letting a spirit you no longer need go before bringing in a new one. There is also no shame in not being perfect. If you need some space for a few days, take it. If all you can muster today is a halfhearted “hello” to your familiar, do it. Your spirit allies will always be there waiting once you’re feeling better. If they’re true allies, they’ll understand if you’re not feeling well and need some time to yourself.

#baby witch #spirit work #pop culture spirits #Pop culture paganism #witchcraft #spirits #spiritwork #spirit companions #witch tips #paganism #shy craft

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slasherwife · 4 years ago

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🐻Oh, I stopped to think, how the Slashers would react to their S / O being a witch who reincarnated (doesn’t remember the past life, except how she died.), She does rituals (using some potions, animal bones and blood itself). to raise and control plants and a power related to his death (possibly fire) and have nightmares about his death that usually have phantom pain and vision (in the midst of flames and smoke for example.) kisses from Brazil 🐻

Slashers react to a witch s/o

How do the slashers react with you doing tarot, moon rituals, playing with energies, making potions and doing spells?

🌹🌛🌕🌜🌹how do they react to you controlling the elements and getting forewarning of his death?

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas is lowkey intrigued?

Doesn’t even know what this stuff is??

He’s pretty much clueless, but that doesn’t mean you can’t teach him

If you tell him you’re a witch I have a feeling he’ll be taken aback

“B-but the Bible says—“

“No no, the Bible was originally Aramaic, Tommy— and ‘witch’ in Aramaic meant poisoner, my love. I never poison anyone.” 💖💕💖💕

That should do it 😊

Anyway he will still be bewildered a lil bit, just peepin around the corner watching you doing a tarot reading like Ow0 wot

Will catch animals for you to use for rituals

Do you need human bones too? Cuz he’s got you covered 😊💕

But hearing of your past life death? Seeing you play with fire and plant energies? How the universe practically bows to you? He sees you completely different.

He was standing on the back porch, watching you walk towards him as the grass waved to you and the trees bent in your favor, and he never wanted to be apart from you 🌹😊

You are a starlit goddess, sent to him by mistake— and he thinks you belong to the stars above or in the clouds~~ anywhere but his dark, sad home 😓💖

If you have nightmares about his death, he will go under your wing —begrudgingly— under your constant protection

He doesn’t believe too much of your visions, but he hates seeing you upset and his dark goddess doesn’t deserve paranoia 🥀😓

Jason Vorhees

Whatever Jason thinks, he at least acknowledges at his zombie phase that he isn’t exactly considered natural either.

Tbh you guys would be a total power couple 🤗🥺💖

He would be probably more understanding of your occupation than Tommy, and would embrace you fully 😊

Like “I knew my y/n was special. I knew it!” 😊💕

He doesn’t like that you use animal bones though. “Why the poor animals y/n?? Use human bones instead— here.”

He thinks you have superpowers hah

He loves when you raise the plants to be alive again— it’s like you keep it spring all year and he loves it 🥺💖💕💖🌷

Will be happy that you have them so you can protect yourself if need be 😊

Once you tell him about your past life death and how you can manipulate elements and that you’re getting forewarnings dreams of his death... he won’t be too worried.

First off, any thought of you dying in general is caused him literal physical pain. So he didn’t like you talking about that 🥺💕

You controlling the elements, Fire? He will follow you anywhere hon’. 7’1 immortal zombie legend murderer and powerful sorcerer/ess/witch? Biggest power couple 💕🙌🙌

And then lastly, the only thing Jason will worry about from your dreams is how you will manage with out him. That’s literally it 😂🥺💕💖

He knows he will come back eventually, you can’t kill Jason forever— he physically can’t stay dead lol

He will sheepishly miss all the crazy sex you guys have been having, but you stop your worrying! Jason’s like “my poor bab don’t be so scared— I’ll always come back!” 💕💕💖💕

Michael Myers

Will 1000% pretend your powers don’t interest him.

But just know that he’s peeking around the corner when you absent mindedly play with the candle’s flame while mixing a clarity potion, literally on his toes 😂💕

He loves to be around you when you’re doing candle work, making a potion, practicing controlling the elements— because you exert this powerful and foreign energy aura that’s comforting to him 😊💖💕🥺

Another slasher that will go on a midnight trip of catching animals for you because “ANYTHING FOR YOU, MY GODDESS— 😫💖💕💖💕”

But you wouldn’t even ask for it, he would see you making spell charms or bags with animal bones in it—

And then next thing you know he drops a sack of birds and a goat next to you and walks away???🤭

Do I know where he got the goat?? No I fucking do not xD but it kinda stank so you had to drag it out the back door and get to work 😣

And then obviously he’ll give you human bones as well lel 💕

He likes hearing of your past life death, he thinks it’s cool lol 😊💖

Getting forewarnings of Michael’s death? K.

He wouldn’t be bothered really, but he obviously doesn’t want to die— he’s too stubborn for that 💕💖

This is the only time he will ever listen to you xD barely

Basically like “too bad—I’m going out tonight. But I’ll ‘be careful’ or whatever the fuck you said.”

Another huge power couple btw 🙌💖💕

Bubba Sawyer

He thinks you’re so cool 🥺

He’ll think your tarot readings are a game and he’ll pick up random ones and look at them

(He likes the pictures) 😖💖

He’ll be so curious, like snooping around when you’re doing a ritual, snuggling up against you when you’re saying an incantation—

He’s like a cat💖💕

Oh you like animal bones? What a surprise! His house is literally full of them. 😶🌷

Ya you have an endless supply of animal bones— you won’t ever run out 😂💖💕

You died in your past life? WHAT? Why? *crying*

He will snuggle you all night when you tell him that 🥺

Also thinks you’re a goddess that was sent to him and can NOT wrap his head around the fact that you two met by chance 🥺💖

Cherishes you every single day and will probably be super clingy because you’re just his strong woman who deserves everything for the queen she is— *INHALE* yeah. 😖😖💕💕💖💖

Wait. What? You dreamt of me dying? What abt you will you be okay my little blueberry muffin??

He won’t careeee but at the same time he wants to stay with youuuuu😖💖💕

Just so he can stay alive to be with you, he’ll do everything you say to stay safe and will follow every protocol much to Chop Tops annoyment. 🤷‍♀️😊💕

“No, sorry—Y/n says I can’t do that.”

I love you two together, it gives me the feels 🥺💕💖

Bo Sinclair

Ooooh niceeee

Lowkey interested but probably won’t show it 😆

Like u do u— don’t know don’t care as long as you keep making me pbjs

Prepare for bewildererd looks when he walks in on your using blood/bones for a particular ritual 😳

Like you’ll just be sitting on your bed with your eyes closed, holding a black candle trying to banish negative energy and he’ll walk in—

“Want me to leave...?”

“Shhhhhhh....”

He’ll probably come home one day with an animal skull or something like, “babe I found this owl beak... you want it?” 😂💖💕

He’ll probably tell Lester to catch something while he’s out and about, and then take it and tell you that he got it for you all by himself😂💕

Lowkey scared of you sometimes

He’s not scared of blood, but like y are u using it..??

Tried not to piss you off too much so you hex him or something xD 💖💕

You: *manipulating fire and wind out back*

Bo, walking in on it: bitch what the fu—

If you tell him you’re getting visions of his death, he’ll probably be super skeptical and give you it a smartass remark— probably ask if you’ve been smoking the mugwort too 😳😶

But if you persist on it— he’ll get frustrated but will listen to you because he doesn’t like seeing u upset 🥺🌷

Brahmsie

Bitch wtf u doin?

So confused— explain now

This little shit will go through all of your stuff and take what he thinks is cool and will probably piss off your deities (if u have deities) 😂

You’ll have to make him apologize and have him give it back~~which I wish you the best of luck w 😂💖💕

You’ll just be minding your own business when Brahmsie is looking at your things—

The he legit looks at you dead in the eyes and takes your dragon figurine and disappears into the walls, much to your panic 😓😶😶

But since you can do all this stuff, now 3x more scared of you even tho you’re a small bean in comparison to him— 😳💕🌷

You threatened to hex him if he didn’t start actin right and he started being nice real quick 😂🙌💕💕

Where did u get that blood? 😶😳

Using animal bones? Use the dead rats y/n! Duh!

Bonus for him if he manages to sack the grocery boy and take his bones too 😶💘

“ANYTHING FOR YOU MY QUEEN!” 🙌😭💖💖

If he finds you controlling the elements and sees u controlling fire.... he leaves immediately dont you know he’s terrified of fire??

Yeah uh he demands in a shaky voice that you stop doing that or else ☹️😶he doesn’t like fire at all

But that’s okay cuz you’re still the fuckin coolest person hes ever been w! 😆💘

Wait wut...? You’re saying I’m gonna die? UWU SAVE ME Y/N I DONT WANNA DIEEE

He will literally get so scared when you tell him you’re getting forewarnings of his death, and will go under your wing definitely the most willingly 😅💓💓

Whatever, more cuddles for him! And some other things 😏

I hope u liked ittt! Sorry I’ve not the time to post ANYTHING lately— it took me 5 days to finish this one because of how busy w school I am— but I hope you like it!! 💖💖

#slashers #thomas hewitt #i made a thing #jason vorhees #Michael Myers #bubba Sawyer #bubba sawyer headcanons #bo Sinclair #Brahms Heelshire #Thomas Hewitt headcanons #Jason Vorhees headcanons #Michael Myers headcanons #bo Sinclair headcanons #Brahms Heelshire headcanons

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years ago

Text

Worth the Risk

CW: Referenced past domestic violence, memories of trauma, some PTSD references, vaguely referenced noncon, abuse survivor navigating relationship conflict, BBU politics

Follow-up to Akio’s Idea

The sun glances off Kauri’s shoulder, lights his pale skin in gold, turns one wide blue eye to a kind of shimmering precious metal. He sits on the bed, on the soft comforter that he helped Jake pick out when he started staying here, soft as down, as feathers, as the way Jake holds him. His stomach twists with cold nervousness, but he manages, his voice low, even deeper, with time, than when he and Jake first met, to ask, “What did you just say?”

“I said no.” Jake closes the door, Kauri listens to the click, part of him eternally on edge for the sound of a lock. There isn’t one, on this door. Jake bought door knobs without a lock, Kauri watched him install it. He can open this door whenever he wants.

He can leave, if he has to.

If he wants to.

“Yeah, I heard you. I think you should reconsider, Jake. This idea - it’s the best one anyone could have. It’ll be public, too public, not something they can come back at without it being really obvious it’s them. If they do this and Chris disappears… people will notice. If they do this, and we get raided, or the Nakamura kid gets threatened, people - the media, our fucking neighbors, the fucking government - will notice.”

“The government is why you all have to hide in the first place.” Jake groans, leaning back against the door. “The government passed the laws that keep you all hiding, that mean you can’t go to school, get paying jobs. The government made those raids legal in the first place! You can’t be serious, Kauri. You cannot be seriously thinking about going along with this.” He’s sincere, but Kauri bristles, too.

You can’t be serious, Kor-Bore. Those rocks in your head must be rolling around too fast.

“Well, I-I am. I think it’s a good idea, I think Chris should do it if he wants-”

“I don’t want him involved in this.” Jake’s voice is flat. It’s solid. It brooks no appeal, but Kauri isn’t ready to be ground down under it, no this time. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembers he wrote a poem once, not for a class just for himself, and the words were

I will say, more weight and take the stones you lay upon me still I will breathe in, out more weight

“Jake, I don’t think it’s your choice.”

Jake looks at him from across the room, tall and imposing, all muscles and bulk. His jaw works while he thinks, and Kauri has kissed that jaw, rubbed his own to redness on the stubble there, has watched it soften and relax at the end of hard days with him, just with him, alone in here with a door he can open any time he wants. “What do you mean?”

“Chris’s life isn’t yours,” Kauri says, pitching his already deep voice lower. “It just isn’t. Neither is mine. We-... Jake, I love you, but… if Chris wants to do this, he’s a grown man. He gets to make that decision, and we-... you… don’t.”

He sees the words hit Jake, and Kauri swallows the apology that he feels bubble up in his throat. He doesn’t have to be sorry, for saying something true.

Jake’s eyes move away from his, head shaking, a bit of his ash-blond hair falling over his forehead. It’s gotten shaggy, he’s overdue for a haircut. Kauri likes to watch him, sitting in the backyard with a towel over his shoulders, Antoni clipping centimeters with perfect steadiness, running the electric clipper up the back, leaving the remainder soft and perfect for Kauri’s fingers to run through.

“Kauri-”

“Jake. I’m not with you because you tell us what to do. I’m with you because you don’t.” Kauri’s voice stays low, and it’s not trembling, or faint, or weak. Just… soft, but in a way that still carries across the room. He sits back against the headboard, crossing his arms, and makes himself meet Jake’s gaze.

Blue on blue, always.

“I’m not telling anyone what to do-”

“You literally just said to me, in your own fucking words, Jake Stanton, I said no. Please, explain to me how that’s not telling Chris and I what to do. Yeah? Elaborate, I’m happy to hear it.”

Jake’s eyes narrow. He bristles, defensively, and Kauri’s heart beats hard, pounding against his breastbone. The old scar on his collarbone, still a twisted bit of skin that feels oddly silky under his fingers, begins to itch, to ache. It’s an old phantom pain, a reminder - don’t fight back.

But he won’t back down, or lower his eyes. Not this time.

“I’m not-... Kaur, I’m just saying no to Chris’s, to his friend’s plan, that’s all.” Jake moves towards him, hands out like a supplicant. Kauri swallows against the sense of fingers brushing over his throat, thumbs pressing to his pulse, pushing in. He pretends he can’t feel the push to forgive forget be good.

He only waits, gives the silence time to tick out between them, and raises one eyebrow in skepticism. He can feel his own pulse flutter, anxiety chilling the tips of his fingers and his toes, flipping his stomach. Jake won’t hurt him, for this. He won’t.

After the pause draws out, Jake drops onto the bed himself, sitting at the edge facing one of the windows, looking at the pristine cloudless blue over the tops of the neighborhood houses. His elbows rest on his thighs. He looks tired, in a way he hasn’t looked in years. Tired like he used to look, when he ran on coffee and the smallest victories.

He’s as handsome as Kauri remembers from his earliest blurry feverish memories, although his jawline is sharper now. Every year is written on them both, one way or another. Kauri has his own changes, that he can see in the mirror if he doesn’t look for too long, if he pushes past the headaches that still hit every time he sees himself.

Kauri sees the weight pushing Jake down, the way he feels like he carries them all, long after they’ve more or less learned to stand on their own two feet. He swallows - Jake isn’t his keeper, and never was. He’s meant to be love, the kind that doesn’t lock the doors, the kind that never says you’re so lucky someone will take care of you, you can’t take care of yourself.

“It’s just.” Jake sighs and puts his head in his hands. “Even if it does work for Chris - and who knows if it will - even if it protects him, it could put everyone else in serious danger. My new rescues, you, Antoni, even Nat… everyone.”

“Or,” Kauri offers, voice softening a little, “It could make us all safer by making everyone refuse to look away any longer. Make it harder to make us disappear. You don’t know-”

“That’s just it, Kauri!” Jake turns to look at him, genuinely distraught. Kauri’s fingertips itch to touch, to soothe, to fix. He doesn’t move. “Nobody knows. Nobody has any idea what will happen, no one’s ever done anything like this before!”

Kauri wants to run his fingers through that mussed-up hair, straddle his lap, kiss away his fears. He knows, instinct and training, how to fix unhappiness with his body. Seven years and still, still he knows, deep down.

Instead, Kauri swallows, raises his chin, and sets his jaw. He holds.

“We… we could be freed, Jake.” His voice is barely above a whisper, insistent. “All of us. All of us who run away, me-... Ant, yeah, but also the new ones, and the older ones still on the streets. We could stop hiding. We could-”

“Get thrown into a van,” Jake says, voice cracking a little. “You could be dragged back by fucking WRU into that fucking place. You could disappear, and I’ll never-” Jake’s eyes glitter a little, red at the edges. “I’ll never see you again. Not you… not Ant, not Chris, not anybody. Kauri, I can’t-... everybody who disappears into WRU, they don’t come back.”

“I came back,” Kauri says, voice soft. “I went back in and I came back out-”

“Because Owen Grant fucking paid them to take you back in!” Kauri doesn’t flinch at the sound of his name, not anymore. He doesn’t shiver, although he still feels the chill down his spine. His arms drop, hands back on the comforter, rubbing over a seam sewn in. The headboard makes his back ache where his shoulder blades press against the carved wood. He’s been tied up before, hands wrapped in ropes, his shoulders smacking back into the headboard with every shift of Owen’s hips, until he bruised, and Owen pressed his hand into the bruise and said, I did that, Kor-Bore. I made you look like this. You’re mine.

“But we can come back out without-... without losing ourselves,” Kauri says, voice starting to shake, now. He can feel the bruises that aren’t there. He can see the focus in Owen’s green eyes, too close, feel sweat that isn’t his dripping onto his skin. He can-

He can’t-

“If they want you to. But they won’t, Kauri. And if you get dragged back, after this long, after… after everything… I can’t fail you like that, Kauri. Not you, not Chris. I can’t fail you all like that.”

“You wouldn’t.” Kauri leans forward, now. When Jake leans towards him, he lays a hand over Jake’s, rubs a thumb over his knuckles. “It’s not your responsibility to decide if we speak out. It wouldn’t be your failure, either. But if it works… this could change everything for us. Nobody ever-... nobody ever wants to stand up for us, Jake, not like this. This could make me safer than I’ve ever been, and Chris, too.”

Jake is silent, looking down at their hands. Then he takes in a deep breath. “I think… I think you’ve seen good people for so long,” He says, heavily, words coming out only with effort, “that you’ve forgotten that most people are fucking awful.”

“I haven’t-”

“We’ve been… we’ve been really fortunate, Kauri...”

So fucking lucky.

“... and I can’t risk losing my rescues, just so Chris’s friend can make a fucking point.”

“That Nakamura kid had the idea, yeah, but… Chris wants to do this. He wants to, um, to take Tristan back from this, from these people who stole him.” Kauri curves his fingers into Jake’s palm, squeezes his hand. “He wants to do this for himself, sure, but also for everyone else like him. The, the underagers-”

Jake winces at the reminder and Kauri, always keyed in to the potential negative emotions of anyone around him, can see the old anger simmering under the surface. He wasn’t there when Chris came to stay, but he heard the fury in Jake’s voice when he described it, knows that Chris was Jake’s little brother long before the papers were ever signed to make it official.

“Right,” Jake mumbles.

He’s not mad at me. He’s not mad at me. He’s not mad at me. He’s not.

“He wants to make sure it won’t happen to other ones like him,” Kauri says, keeping soft, telling himself he’s not trying to sound sweet, or good. “Even if we can’t stop it, if all we do is make them stop taking kids-”

“Kaur, they’ll just get quieter about it. They won’t stop, they’ll just stop leaving tracks, stop making it so we can find them. Don’t you get that?”

Jesus, Kauri, don’t you get it?

Kauri’s breath catches. He has to force the exhale, it comes only with effort, through a throat closing. His scar itches even more. “Jake, you’re-... you’re n-not seeing that it doesn’t have to be the worst-case scenario-

“I can see just fine.” Jake pulls his hand away, rubbing at his face, his temples. Kauri sits there with his own hand still out, his fingers curved around nothing but air. “It’s you guys who just can’t see how this is really going to end. You, and Akio, and Chris, you’re all fucking convinced it’s going to solve itself, that we’ll, what? Tell everyone what happened and then you’ll get a standing fucking ovation and the credits roll, world changed, easy as that?”

“Jake, we-... no one is saying this is going to be easy, or-”

“You all are. You’re all saying that!” Jake’s voice is rising, not mad at me he’s not mad at me he’s not mad at me he’s not, and Kauri leans away. His scar burns, pain singing through it like the wires were never removed. He did it himself, he held the bloody things in his hand and stared at them before he passed out on a trashbag on some shitty motel floor, he did it himself and they’re gone but they hurt, anyway.

“You’re acting like one big show will fix it, and you know what it does? It starts it. It starts a whole new set of problems - not even for me, Kaur, for everyone else who runs a safehouse! You’re putting every fucking rescue in serious fucking danger, and you say it’s not my responsibiliy, but you are all my responsibility!”

“We’re adults!” Kauri snaps the words before he can think enough not to. “We’re not kids, Jake, and we’re all-... we’ve all been working for years to be people, and we are. If we want to take the risk-”

“For yourselves, sure, go ahead, fine. Go flying off the fucking cliff and I’ll be there to pick your bodies out of the fucking rubble after.” Jake stands again, pacing, stomping along the floor. Kauri wonders if they can hear him, downstairs. He briefly blocks the light coming in through the window, the room darkens slightly. Kauri’s breath comes faster. “But you can’t put everyone else at risk. You can’t. I won’t let you.”

“You can’t stop us, either.” Jake turns to look at him, and Kauri’s voice nearly falters, dies in his throat. But he pushes, he forces himself to keep speaking. His hand moves unconsciously to scratch at his scar through his shirt, the itch is driving him crazy. “We’re already all at risk, Jake. They pick us up on the street sometimes, if someone calls in a tip. They send vans to safehouses already - you got your ass kicked when they tried to come for Chris-”

“I protected him, then! I can’t protect him if he stands around waving a sign that says I’m a pet, WRU come get me!”

“Maybe Chris decides if he needs protecting, now.” Kauri can hear his own voice dipping into a plea, and he scratches harder, digging his nails into the cotton fabric of his shirt until the skin underneath is burning hot with the ache.

The little circles get hot when Owen sets them off, just a fraction of a second’s warning before the pain that follows on its heels.

“Maybe-... maybe I decide if I need protecting, too. I wish you would understand-”

“I wish you would understand, Kaur! But it feels like you just… don’t, or can’t. Like, it doesn’t matter what I fucking say, it’s just not sinking in, is it?”

There’s a silence, in the room, then.

You’re so fucking stupid.

“Jake-”

“I’m not the bad guy here,” Jake says, almost desperately. He’s not looking at Kauri - he doesn’t see the wrinkle between his eyes as his eyebrows come together, doesn’t see the look on his face, doesn’t see that Kauri’s eyes glitter now, too. “I mean, I’m not trying to be, I just-”

Don’t look at me like that, baby, I’m not the bad guy here. You’re the one who thought you could fucking cook. God, you’re lucky someone loves you.

“... want to keep everyone safe, and staying under the radar is the only thing that’s ever worked. You know, groups have tried going public before, and they get raided, they get hurt. All I’m trying to do is look out for you and Chris, take care of you-”

I’m taking care of you, Kor-Bore. Jesus, it’s not like you could take care of yourself.

“-and everyone else. I love you, Kauri, so much, I want you in my life more than anything-”

I love you, baby. Who else would want you?

“... Chris, too, and I’ve worked so hard to keep all of you safe, and I’m so scared to lose you, I just want you to get that. I can’t see this ending any way but badly, and I’m s-so scared. And you’re so busy staring into the sun trying to figure out how to fly there, and nobody’ll fucking listen to me saying your wings are made of fucking wax. It’s like talking to fucking walls.”

Talking to you is like talking to a gorgeous fucking brick wall, isn’t it?

There’s a bright flash of pain as Kauri breaks skin over his scars. He gasps, a little, for half a second he’s waiting for his muscles to lock, nerves to feel like fire right down to his fingertips, for it all to go horribly, painfully, agonizingly wrong. The shock doesn’t come, but instead Kauri feels new heat inside him.

I know I asked for you to be stupid, but Jesus Christ, Kor-Bore, this is something else.

“I’m not stupid,” He whispers.

Jake blinks and looks over at him, then. Kauri meets his eyes, and sees Jake’s expression shift, and change, in a way that feels like worry, the prelude to an apology. For half a second, Kauri wants to wait, to hear it, to forgive him.

But Owen apologized, too, over and over, and then he called Kauri stupid again anyway, or hurt him, over and over, until he begged for it to stop, until he pleaded, until he was quiet and soft and sweet and forgot how to be anything else.

Kauri had to fight, for his sharp edges.

He won’t let anyone take them away again.

“Shit,” Jake whispers. “Kauri, I didn’t mean-”

“Shut up.” Jake’s mouth snaps shut. “I’m not stupid, Jakob Stanton. I’m not. It doesn’t matter how many ways you or anyone else says it, you can’t make me think I’m stupid anymore!”

“I wasn’t-”

“I said stop talking!” Kauri pushes off the bed now, stalking across the room. He aches, all his muscles remember the aftermath of fighting back, but he ignores the pains he knows are being fed by his memories and not by anything real. “Just… just stop, and listen to me, Jake. Okay. Can you just. Can you just listen?”

Jake swallows, slowly sitting back down on the bed, and nods, hands where Kauri can see them, flat on the bedspread. “Yeah. You, uh. Go on.”

“Thank you for the fucking permission slip, Mr. Stanton. Go fuck yourself, I don’t need you to tell me when I can and can’t talk.” Kauri’s voice drips anger, it’s bathed in it, years and years and years of anger built inside him finally breaking through the cracks in his sweetness. “I’m less than two years younger than you, more or less, so stop treating me like I’m a fucking infant. Which, by the way, neither is Chris.”

Jake doesn’t try to speak this time.

Good.

“I’ve been on the run for seven years. I’m fucking tired. Antoni’s been gone for a decade. Chris has been out for, what, five years? Six? And we’re all still under the radar. None of us have our original names, our original lives. We can’t go home, because we don’t have one anymore! If this idea works, then there are hundreds - maybe thousands of us, Jesus fuck - who could go home again! Who could put our faces on papers and see if anyone knows who we are! We-we could ask for blood tests, we could do the DNA matches they do when they find our bodies, we could-... we could remind everyone who walks past us begging for change that we were goddamn people, and we can be people again!”

Jake swallows. Kauri watches his throat bob with the movement. His collarbone is on fire, but it’s only feeding the hotter flame inside him, the way it feels to just say what he thinks and not have anyone talk over or around it.

Jake watches him.

Jake listens.

“Chris has something we almost never get back. He has his name. He has Tristan Higgs and even more than that, Tristan Higgs had friends. Tristan Higgs had a family, and friends, and this whole life and-... and he found it again.”

“I would-... you know I’d help you find your family in a heartbeat-”

“Jake, that’s not my point. This isn’t about me, or my life, or any of it. I’m just trying to say… Chris wants to do this. He’s wanting to be so fucking brave, braver than I am, than a-any of us here are going to be, probably. He’s going to look WRU in the eyes and tell them Tristan Higgs isn’t forgotten. If you tell him not to, he w-won’t, but… but I think you should tell him to do what he thinks is right, instead. And prepare for it to not be the thing you want him to do.”

Jake nods, just barely. Then, he offers, “Kauri, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to imply-”

“I know. But you did. You said I’m stupid not to agree with you, and that’s not true.”

“That’s not what I-”

“Jake. Just listen to me.”

“Right.”

There’s power in this moment, in telling someone to listen to him, to stop, and having them just… do it. In his mind, Kauri shoves Owen up against a wall, throws him off the fucking balcony, drowns him in the bathtub, smothers him with a pillow locks him in the fucking box from WRU that he locked Kauri in for sensory deprivation pulls the giant TV over on top of him burns the fucking condo to the ground-

-cuts the wires out of himself, piece by piece, screaming with the pain even as his fingers twist into the pieces and pull them out, blacks out and wakes up and keeps going, again and again, until the only thing left is the blood-

Kauri’s chin lifts, and he holds out his hands for Jake to take, but it’s not weakness. He’s not appeasing the danger in the room, he is the danger.

He can be dangerous.

He can own himself so thoroughly that no one can take him away from himself, not ever again.

“You think I’m naive,” He says, softly. “Because we all start that way. You think that I don’t know what could happen to us after this. But I’m telling you… I know I could disappear. I could know that we could get hurt. I know how bad it can be. I know what it’s like, going back in there.”

Jake pulls his hands close, kisses the backs of them, slowly leans his forehead to touch there against Kauri’s knuckles. “I’m so scared to lose you,” He whispers. “All of you.”

“I know,” Kauri says, and his voice gentles, now. “I know you are. But… Jake, what I’m saying is… we’ve all already lost everything there was to lose. We lost our families, if we had any. We lost our memories. We lost our names. Chris, and I…”

He pulls his hands free, moves closer, lets Jake lean forward to rest against his stomach, his fingers running through his short blond hair. Kauri’s eyes light on a framed photo, one Jake has carried with him for years.

Jake with Chris at the beach, Kauri standing off to the side shading his eyes. All of them smiling.

“We know what it means to be lost. And we want to tell WRU that no matter what they do, the whole world is going to see what happens to kids like Chris in the system, and I-... I want you to trust me, Jake. Just for this. Trust me that I’ve thought through every single outcome, even the worst ones, and… I think the risk is worth it.”

Jake is quiet, his breathing warm on Kauri’s stomach, the hair at his nape soft under Kauri’s fingertips.

“I’m just scared,” Jake whispers.

Kauri nods, even though Jake can’t see it. Then he says, softly, “I’m not.”

Another pause. “Okay. I love you, Kaur. I-I’m scared shitless, but... I trust you. I need your help to plan for what we’re going to do to make sure my people aren’t here when it happens. I-I can’t-... I’ll help you, but… but I need your help, too.”

Kauri smiles. He tries not to feel triumph. He does, a little.

Mostly he feels like he could walk out the door right now and Jake wouldn’t stop him - but he doesn’t have to. He knows he can.

He doesn’t want to.

“I love you, too, Jake. Let me talk to Keira. I think-... I think I know what we can do to make sure if WRU tries to come for the safehouses, they won’t find a single goddamn one of us at home.”

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump , @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @downriver914 @vickytokio

#whump #speak out arc #bbu #box boy #box boy universe #box boy multiverse #erase to control #jake the shelter guy #referenced past noncon #referenced past pet whump #very brief vague reference to ableist torture #pet whump #trauma recovery #ptsd tw #abuse survivor tw

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gummygowon · 4 years ago

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dreamers | jung wooyoung

word count: 4.8k

genre: angst, fluff

best friends to lovers!

warnings: sad lmao

third person pov

it was a quiet friday night which was weird for a group of highschoolers. nothing was really going on, in terms of parties and high school games which was rare but it finally felt nice to not feel hungover for a whole weekend.

y/n and wooyoung were chilling on her bed after their friends had left her house. wooyoung lived a couple doors down from y/n's house and didn't feel like leaving just yet.

ever since y/n moved into the neighborhood in third grade, the two had become inseparable. the duo would tell each other everything from stupid crushes to ranting about how their favorite arcade game was rigged. and tonight was another one of those nights were the two could talk until the sun rose.

tonight's topic was about their futures and what they wanted to do since they were now seniors and adulthood was coming closer everyday.

"woo?" y/n asked, fiddling with one of her plushies.

"yes, y/n." wooyoung perked up his head from his phone.

"what are your plans after college?"

wooyoung paused for a moment, forming his answer carefully. "i don't think i'm going to college after high school."

"huh? what are you going to do then?" y/n asked, surprised her best friend wasn't going to some sort of culinary school since he would not stop cooking.

"i know it's kind of dumb but i wanna be an idol." wooyung confessed sheepishly.

"it's not dumb, woo." you argued back. "i mean you are one of hell of a dancer and you can sing. just send it."

his cheeks flushed a little bit at her comments. "are you sure? what if-"

"jung wooyoung. look at me." y/n said as she grabbed his wrists.

the boy looked up at her with doubt and worry washed over his face.

"you got amazing vocals that i'm pretty sure angels are jealous of you and you can literally beat anyone in a dance battle. including me, which is saying a lot." y/n joked as she flipped her hair.

it was true though. y/n was a killer dance and when her and wooyoung danced together, circles would form around them at parties.

"if you want to become an idol. become an idol. i want to brag to everyone that i'm bestfriends with the jung wooyoung."

wooyoung rolled his eyes at her and pulled his hands to hips. "wow, you really just want me for the clout huh?"

"no!" y/n answered and lightly punched him in the shoulder. "but seriously, i'll support you no matter what. hell i'll watch one of your practices if they even allow that."

"i don't think they would allow that y/n."

"whatever, just send me videos of you dancing at least." y/n huffed and crossed her arms.

"of course. i promise to send you weekly videos."

"good, i'll be waiting for those." she smiled at him.

"y/n, what are you going to do afterwards?" wooyoung asked, leaning back on his hands.

"i want to join the navy." her eyes glowed as she talked. "i want to help protect our country and working overseas seems so much fun."

wooyoung watched in amusement as his best friend begin to drabble on about her plans after high school. "how are am i supposed to send you my weekly dance videos then?"

"through a flash drive duh. unless they allow sailors access to computers but i doubt it. just write to me and send a flash drive over."

"you really want me to spend money on flash drives?" wooyoung sarcastically asked.

"yes if you're gonna become an idol, i am going to have to pay for a ticket to your concert aren't I?"

"i mean, i guess. but i can probably get you free ones."

"nah, there's no fun in that." y/n said as she waved her hand, shooing away that idea. "i want to fight over people for barricade tickets."

wooyung laughed at her dumb dream. "okay, do whatever you want y/n."

two months later, y/n was helping out wooyung practice for his audition for bighit. the poor kid could not stop stressing out about his audition that was in a few days.

wooyoung had been non stop preparing ever since he found out the audition date. after school, he did his homework right away and then went straight to practicing his vocals and dancing.

on the weekends and when y/n had light homework loads during the week she would help out as much as she can.

today, wooyoung had probably been dancing for almost two hours in his backyard. he was constantly tweaking and perfecting dances that y/n was sure that his hair was going to turn gray before the audition even came.

"woo." y/n walked over to the speaker and paused the song. "you need to take a break dude. you've been at it for two hours now."

wooyoung inhaled deeply, he was trying his best not to snap at her for just trying to help him out. "give me five more minutes please. i know i can get it down. i just need a little more time."

"wooyung, give your body a break. it wouldn't hurt to take a five minute break." y/n said, her voice a little more sterner.

"y/n just please!" wooyung shouted, instantly regretting raising his voice at her. "just please give me a little longer and i promise, i'll stop."

"fine. i'll be inside." y/n sighed.

she couldn't get mad at him even though it was so tempting to just snap back at him and whack him in the face. but she understood the pressure and stress he was feeling at the moment.

instead, she took out her anger on the watermelon in front of her. cutting the watery fruit, a little more harshly than normal.

after she was done, wooyung had walked back into the house, dripping in sweat.

"finally, you're done. you know, you have to take more care of yourself once you start training." she scolded at him.

"that's if, i get in." wooyoung corrected her, wiping away his sweat with a towel.

"keep thinking negatively and i'll stab you." y/n threatened, half jokingly and half not. it certainly didn't help that her tone came out more serious since she was annoyed at him.

"alright, alright. i'll stop." wooyung put his hands in the air as soon as he saw y/n point the sharp knife at him.

"good. now eat and then we can work on your vocals." y/n pushed a plate full of watermelon and strawberries towards him.

"thank you." wooyung said as he reached for a strawberry.

"for what?" she asked as she washed her hands before snagging a slice of watermelon.

"for helping me with everything." wooyung looked at his best friend wondering how he would survive without her.

y/n looked up and met his gaze and she couldn't help but blush. "it's alright. i wanna see you perform when i get back from the navy."

"speaking of the navy, did you apply yet?" he asked in between chews.

"uhh, not yet. i've been busy." the h/c girl answered sheepishly as she picked up another piece of fruit to distract herself.

wooyung groaned, "it's because you're helping me isn't it?"

he felt even more worse since he snapped at her.

"no, no. it's not that. my parents are trying to talk to me out of it."

the boy looked skeptically at her. "are you sure? i don't want to get in the way of your dreams."

y/n scoffed at him. "are you dumb? you're going to be with me throughout this whole process, whether you like it or not."

wooyung smiled at her brightly. "yes, i will and i will be buying flash drives just for you. so you can watch my dance videos."

"that's right baby. catch me in the front row of all your concerts." y/n dramatically declared.

"with the tickets you'll refuse from me."

"just let me fight your future fans over them please."

"fine, it'll make up for the cost of the flash drives."

"fair enough." she laughed.

two weeks later, y/n's letter from the navy arrived in her mailbox after dinner.

once she had saw the mail truck come by she immediately ran to the mailbox with her slippers barely on her feet.

her hands were shaking as she fumbled with the keys and struggled to open it. y/n skimmed over the pile of letters in her arms until she found the one thing she was looking for. she shoved the rest of the letters back inside the mailbox so she could retrieve them later.

with trembling fingers and her heart beating so fast, y/n ripped the envelope opened. she could feel herself start to shake once she read the big fat congratulations on the paper.

y/n screamed out of pure happiness and rushed to wooyoung's house, completely forgetting about the rest of the letters in her family's mailbox.

she knocked on the door so harshly, anyone would of thought that she was the FBI about to barge into their home.

"wooyoung!" y/n exclaimed.

"y/n, what is it?" he asked, confused at her super excited state and then it hit him, "is it the navy?"

she hummed in response, "i got in, i'm leaving on saturday!"

"oh my god, y/n." wooyoung congratulated her before enveloping her in a warm hug. "i'm so happy for you."

"thank you, woo." y/n pulled back, her smile never leaving her face. "how about you did you get in?"

"about that..." he trailed off looking to the side.

y/n's face fell and before she could even say anything, wooyoung interrupted.

"just kidding. i got in." wooyoung's face returned back to his happy self, a cheeky grin spread across his face.

"you fucker." y/n cursed as she slapped him on the arm. "i was going to cry for you. "

"owwww." he whimpered, rubbing his arm.

the girl pulled him into a hug which wooyoung slowly returned.

"look woo, we're achieving our dreams together." y/n smiled into his chest.

wooyoung hugged her even tighter. "i love you."

the two never had outwardly said that phrase, even in a friendly way. which is why it caught y/n off guard by a mile.

it was a definite no brainer that she loved him. at first it was in a best friend way but over time and the many idol practices, y/n always left his house wondering about her feelings for him. it was so cliche of her to fall for her childhood best friend but she couldn't help it.

wooyoung was there for her for everything, ever since she moved here. and of course, y/n was always there for him. feelings were bound to be caught, one way or the other. it was just matter of who would fall first.

"i mean uh," wooyoung pulled away quickly, his cheeks flushed a bright red.

y/n's adrenaline was skyrocketing, "fuck it."

she grabbed her best friend by his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

wooyoung froze against her lips before kissing back. he didn't really know what was happening but he loved every second of it.

when the two of them pulled back for air, y/n was grinning. "i love you too, woo."

the trainee couldn't help but smile even brighter. but y'n's face fell at the thought of the future. she was leaving for the navy in a couple of days and wouldn't return for months. and wooyoung was starting his training soon. it was an absolutely, terrible idea to start a relationship considering the timing, but she would do it all for him.

he noticed her expression and reached for her cheek, caressing it. "i'll wait for you, y/n."

"really? i won't back for almost two years. i don't want you to-"

"y/n, i would wait an eternity if it i meant i could be with you." he reassured, staring deep into her eyes.

whatever worries y/n had were disappearing. it felt comforting to hear the one person who she loved and cared about, would be waiting for her when she came back.

wooyoung pulled her in for another comforting hug, "i will always love you, no matter how far away you are."

a tear slipped down y/n's cheek as she hugged him even tighter. falling in love with your best friend had never felt so bittersweet.

since then, wooyoung and y/n spent as much time as they could together before she left for the navy.

but now, the day they both dreaded had arrived.

y/n's suitcase was packed into her family's car as she said her goodbyes to her siblings and grandparents.

"you look so beautiful." y/n's grandpa cried, as he lifted his hand to touch her cheek.

the sailor was wearing her uniform with her long hair was slicked back into a bun.

"thank you, grandpa." y/n smiled as she pulled away to say goodbye to her other friends.

and of course, wooyoung's family was there. she saved her goodbyes for them last.

y/n went down the line of his family, hugging them and saying thank you for coming to see her go off.

when she reached wooyoung, the breath in her throat hitched as tears threatened to spill out. y/n promised to herself that she wouldn't cry before she left but for wooyoung and her parents, they were the exception.

wooyoung hugged her so tightly which y/n didn't mind at all. if she could, she would spend the rest of her life in his arms.

"i love you, woo." she mumbled into his chest.

"i love you too, y/n. good luck out there."

y/n pulled away reluctantly, "you too. i will be waiting for your first concert."

wooyoung smiled at her sadly and tugged at her wrist. y/n looked back at him with a confused expression before he pulled her into a passionate kiss. he didn't really care that his parents were there at the moment, he just needed to remember what her lips felt like before he forgot.

"i'll always be there with you." wooyoung whispered, as he pressed something into her hand.

y/n looked down at her hand to see a red rose hanging on a gold chain, "thank you, woo."

he nodded his head as he let you go.

he watched with teary eyes as you drove away but something in him sparked. another drive for him to work hard and achieve his dream.

dear wooyoung,

i miss you so much, it's beginning to drive me insane. but, i want to let you know that everything here is going smoothly despite these rocky ass waves. i've adjusted to almost everything around here except for waking up incredibly early. i've made new friends and have become really close with my roomate which is a relief because i don't know if i could deal with a shitty ass roomate. anyways, how's life back at home and how's training at bighit? have you seen taehyung yet? haha. i'm kidding. or not. but besides the point, tell me how life as a trainee. oh and before i forget, i figured out a way to watch your dance practice videos so please send them. i'll pay you back through buying barricade tickets alright? also, tell your parents i say hi please!

with much love,

y/n :)

p.s. i love you

dear y/n,

i miss you a lot too. even my parents do haha and they say hello back and hope you're doing well. i'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the navy life but i'm surprised that you're able to wake up so early haha. but don't worry, everything back home is great, just a little chaotic sometimes. trainee life is definitely tiring and hard but it's probably not much compared to what you have to do. i don't wanna know about the million, spirit-breaking things you do but if it makes you happy, i did see taehyung. even though it was for like two seconds because we were just passing in the halls. i hope one day i can see them practice live. maybe i'll see jimin. but anyways, i've made some friends too. we're gonna audition for a survival show called mixnine together. i'm really excited. i think you would like them. they're really funny but not as funny as me though. ok, i got to go now before my mom yells at me for staying up so late. so, i'll see you in my dreams. goodbye!

love,

wooyoung ;0

p.s. enjoy the dance cover i did with yeosang (someone who i met at bighit)

p.s.s. i hope the flash drive gets to you safely, i don't trust the postal services

two years later...

dear woo,

i have managed to secure tickets to your first concert in seoul thorough my parents. and yes, my parents had to do some fighting with some of your fans to help me secure a barricade ticket. i am utterly disappointed that i didn't get to do the fighting myself but i guess i'll just have to wait for your next tour. :( but on a more positive note i'm coming home soon! i'm so excited. the first thing we are doing though is getting some good dessert. i'm tired of eating the wack ass "desserts" here. oh! maybe we can go to a garden or something i don't know but i'm tired of looking at the water. some nice, pretty flowers will be much better to look at. speaking of flowers, i still have your rose necklace that you gave me. i wear it all the time except for when we do swimming exercises. i don't trust myself enough to bring it in the water. anyways before i have to go, i want to say how proud i am of you for coming so far in the idol industry. it seems like forever ago that i was helping you out for audition for bighit. i get to brag to people now that i'm dating a kpop idol hehe. say hi to the boys for me! and please send another video of you guys dancing so, me and my roomie can copy it. when i come home we can perform your songs together. oh my god that would be so much fun. ok, ok i really gotta go now but i love you and please take care of yourself! (or ask san too, either one works)

with much love,

y/n!

p.s. i'll be sitting a little bit to the right of the stage.

dear y/n,

i'm sad to hear that you couldn't fight my fans for barricade tickets but i am thankful that you are coming to our first show. i'll be on the lookout for you in the audience. and afterwards, find my parents and they'll take you backstage so i can see you again. did i tell you that our lightsticks came in and they're actually so cool. i'll see if i can snag you one and don't even think about having to pay back okay? you can pay me back by spending as much time as you can with me when you're back home. anyways, i wanna thank you for supporting me ever since i brought up the idea of becoming an idol. you were probably the only person who didn't laugh straight in my face for thinking such childish things but look at where we are now. i get to perform my first show with you in the barricade. and look at you, i got a badass girlfriend in the navy who can probably kick anyone's ass. and she can dance like??? i think win when it comes to having the coolest girlfriend ever. and you bet the first thing we're gonna do together is dance. i'm debating about teaching you the pirate king choreo or the say my name one. i don't know you can pick. also, yeosang, san, hongjoong, seonghwa, mingi, and jongho all say hello back and are very excited to finally meet you. i gotta go now, i have to wake up early for some costume fittings but i'll send some pics over too. i love you!

love,

wooyoung :)

it was the day of ateez's first concert and wooyoung didn't even know if y/n was back from the navy yet because they could never really say when they're coming home for obvious reasons. but wooyoung couldn't help but pace around the dressing room.

it was definitely not the perfect timing since he was currently freaking out about twenty million things all at once. it was their first ever concert and everything could terribly wrong in wooyoung's mind. like what if y/n thinks that he performed terribly tonight or even worse what if she leaves in the middle of the concert because they were so bad. but he didn't even know if she was back in south korea since she hadn't called him or anything. not even her parents had called him. maybe they wanted to surprise him? no. that's dumb she already bought tickets so-

"wooyoung." his leader called out to him. ever since they had arrived at the venue, wooyoung had been non stop spacing out and mumbling things to himself. everyone in the group was of course nervous, but none of them were this anxious.

"huh?" the young idol snapped his head to hongjoong. "i mean yes."

"are you seriously okay? you haven't been able to stop mumbling to yourself since we got out of the car." he asked full of concern.

"yes, it's just that y/n is supposed to come and-" wooyoung rambled, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

hongjoong put his hands on both of his shoulders, "woo, i am going to need you to calm down first. y/n is probably back home safe and is probably getting ready right now with her friends to come see us."

wooyoung slowly nodded to himself to convince himself that everything was okay.

"take a deep breath, ok?" hongjoong instructed, breathing along with him. "relax, she's going to come and she's gonna see how much you've improved since the last time she saw you."

his leader was right. wooyoung had improved in so many ways, from his singing to his confidence in performing. he should be excited to show off how much he improved to her.

"you're right." the young idol nodded his head. his worries about y/n were slowly being lifted away.

hongjoong smiled at him before patting his back.

during the concert everything was going smoothly. there was no costume slip ups or them forgetting their lines it was going great. but wooyoung couldn't find y/n amongst the many faces in the crowd. it was worrying him but he decided to not let any negative thoughts cloud his mind mid performance.

until, they were about to perform their last song and his parents ran to their dressing room. tears were streaming down his mother's face.

"what's going on? are you okay mom?" wooyoung asked immediately, he wrapped his mom in a hug.

"it's y/n." his dad started in soft voice.

"what? what happened? is she okay?" he asked, his head snapping to his dad. it was a miracle how he didn't break his neck.

"honey, she couldn't make it. there was an accident and something happened to the ship." his mom cried.

"what do you mean she didn't make it?" wooyoung couldn't believe a word they were saying. there was no way in hell she died. she was too young. wooyoung didn't even get a chance to say i love you again in person.

"her ship went down and there was only a few survivors and-"

"no. you're lying." the shocked idol shouted as he backed away from his parents only to be caught in san's chest.

"sweetheart, they couldn't find her." his mom revealed as she wiped a tear away from her face. "she was supposed to arrive yesterday."

wooyoung didn't say anything but fall to the floor. every ounce of happiness he had was gone. he couldn't believe it. there was no way.

"you guys are going back up now." their manager shouted to them.

"we wanted to tell you later but-"

"that's enough, honey." his dad shushed. he didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

"woo, come on." san said as he helped him up.

he didn't say anything but followed his members out of the dressing room.

wooyoung didn't know how he was supposed to continue singing when he just found out that love of his life died.

"sing for her, alright?" san comforted right before they walked back on stage.

they were performing star 1117. the last song of the night. which was good for wooyoung cause he just wanted this night to be over already.

once mingi started singing, wooyoung lost it. as well as his fellow members but they weren't crying for the same reasons he was.

they were crying because after all the neverending practices and the amount of frustrating times sitting in the sound booth trying to get the perfect sound was all worth it. they were finally doing what they love in front of people who genuinely enjoyed their music and were excited for what's to come from them.

he should be crying for the same reasons they were or maybe he was a little bit. he couldn't tell what he was feeling anymore. he just felt empty.

san watched his friend break down and went over to him for support. he was never much of crier but this performance was close to breaking his wall.

in the eyes of a fan, it looked like san was merely comforting a crying wooyoung. but what they didn't know was why he was crying.

finally the song had ended and almost everyone was crying or at least on the verge of tears. the boys stood in line at the very front of the stage with bittersweet looks as they bowed down to the crowd.

they all waved goodbye with smiling faces and wet eyes.

someone had tossed roses onto the stage which wooyoung of course picked up before heading backstage.

he couldn't even make it to their dressing room before crying again. san had wrapped an arm around his shoulder to keep him balanced as he guided them back to the safety of their dressing room.

wooyoung had sunk into of the couches there and just let everything out. this wasn't how he was supposed to be feeling. he was supposed to be happy and thankful that their first concert was a huge success. he should be happily celebrating with his friends and with y/n but not anymore.

all the members had took turns in comforting him. they never got the chance to meet y/n but they did see lots of photos of her and heard many stories from wooyoung. she sounded like an amazing person to be around and they were heartbroken that they would never get to meet her.

all the fans had left the venue by now and wooyoung was sitting on the edge of the stage. his feet was dangling off the edge while he twirled the rose in his hands. he was done crying for now and spoke softly to himself.

"i wish you were here y/n. the concert was a huge success. i'm really thankful that you helped me practiced for my bighit audition. i think i owe you a lot for that. i don't know if i would've stuck with my dream if it wasn't for you." he mumbled. "i miss you like crazy, it's not even funny. but i know you're watching me from up there and you're probably telling me to stop crying" wooyoung chuckled to himself. "but i don't think i'll stop for awhile. i love you, y/n and i'll never stop loving you."

"wooyoung." yeosang called for him. "we're leaving now."

the heartbroken idol smiled softly at his friend before getting up. he kissed the rose and he could've sworn he felt y/n's soft lips on it. maybe he was just dreaming or maybe it was the exhaustion catching up to him. wooyoung crouched down and left the rose a little to the right of the stage.

"for you, my little dreamer."

ever since that night, wooyoung had left a little rose sticker on the right side of the stage at every single venue he performed at.

it was his way of remembering y/n. it was so that she could be with him at every concert or award show.

wooyoung was even gifted a similar rose necklace from his group. he couldn't stop crying that night and thanked them repeatedly.

every night before he went to bed he would touch the rose and whisper "i love you, y/n."

sometimes he would dream about her and wake up crying. thankful, he got to see her again in his dreams. because that's what they were.

dreamers.

158 notes · View notes

houchlife · 4 years ago

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Top 7 Law Of Attraction Tips To Manifest More Of What You Want!

By Heather Mathews Author of Manifestation Miracle “Everything is within your power, and your power is within you.” ― Janice Trachtman Charlie, a stay at home dad, works out of his living room while looking after his three-year-old toddler. As a social media consultant, he depends on his laptop to make a living. The problem is that his beat up computer was as old as his kid, and it was always glitching on him. So Charlie kept focusing on getting a new computer – a 13-inch Macbook Pro in particular. Eventually, his old laptop gave out, which made him panic a bit. So Charlie went online to look for another one while having the shiny new Macbook in the back of his mind. After hours of searching, he couldn’t find a reasonably priced model. So he was about to settle on another type of laptop and was close to closing the sale. But at the last minute, Charlie decided to check the price listings for a used version of the computer that he REALLY wanted. And just like that, someone was selling a six-month old Macbook Pro for a price significantly cheaper than a store-bought one. So Charlie got what he wanted, and at a better deal than he had hoped for! Now, Charlie’s incredible stroke of luck seemed like a fluke to him at first, but then another awesome thing happened shortly after. You see, Charlie was also looking for a new job because he felt stuck in his current one. So he had his sights set on another company with a position in mind. The truth was that he wasn’t all that confident he was even qualified for the position, but he went over the job description again and again. Charlie even printed the job ad and put it on his refrigerator door so he could see it every day. A couple of weeks after his interview, he got a call from the company and said he got the job. On Charlie’s first day, his new boss told him, “Honestly, your skillset isn’t an exact match for what we were looking for. But I really liked how you did at the interview…and besides, we can train you for the other things you need to learn, anyway. You have a great attitude and that’s more important than being 100% qualified for the job.” Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person’s Secret To Get Everything You’ve Ever Wished For Is It Coincidence - Or Something Else at Work? It’s easy to brush off Charlie’s streak as plain dumb luck, but could he have WILLED his good fortune to happen? After all, the common element between getting his new laptop and the new job was that he focused on both things intensely. Charlie kept it in his thoughts all the time. More than that, he created a detailed picture of his desired state in his mind. He imagined what it would be like to hold his new laptop and how he’d feel working in the new job he was aiming for. Charlie visualized both scenarios so vividly that he could almost taste it. Whether he knew it or not, he was putting the basic principle of The Law of Attraction to work - and it served him well. As the name implies, this law decrees that “like attracts like.” There’s a global movement behind this belief, and it says that the kind of thoughts you send out to the Universe emit a certain frequency – be it helpful or harmful. And you have the power to control the wavelength you operate on, which in turn attracts circumstances that match your energy. So by focusing on positive outcomes and giving out positive vibrations, you can turn your thoughts into a tangible force of good in your life! On the other side of the coin, dwelling on the negative aspects of life and focusing your attention on the things you resent attracts even MORE negativity into your world. Like Charlie, you can think of something specific you want, and hold that image in your mind. Create all the details that bring the picture to life, then believe that you already have it. When you go about your day thinking that the object of your desire is already a matter of fact… …this sends out a clear, strong message to the Universe that you truly WANT and BELIEVE it. But this is just the tip of the iceberg; there are other ways to raise your frequency even higher. By following these 7 Tips to Create the Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of, you’ll naturally attract everything you’ve ever wanted – and MORE:

#1: Set aside time to focus on what you desire

The first habit is simple enough: give yourself at least 5-7 minutes daily to visualize the things you want to turn into reality.

You can do this by finding a quiet place to contemplate, then sit upright with your eyes closed. While keeping your desires front and center in your thoughts, breathe deeply in and out.

Focus on your breath and the sensations your body is feeling, and use that as anchor to keep your thoughts from straying.

If your mind does go on a tangent, gently bring yourself back to your breathing AND your desired future state.

You’ll get a lot of benefits from doing this for just a few minutes every day. For instance, many studies have proven the stress-reducing properties of meditation.

A study at the Massachusetts General Hospital showed that people who tried their meditation program experienced significantly less health problems than before.

They ended up not having to see a doctor or go to the emergency room, saving them about $2,300 in medical costs for EACH person!

On top of that of course, meditation also helps you keep your eye on the prize and give you the determination to make it happen.

Some people however, have trouble meditating and get easily distracted.

If you need a little guidance with this habit, I’ve got a special gift for you – but more on that later…

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#2: Be grateful and practice gratitude

Ever hear the expression “Thank your lucky stars”?

Back in ancient times, people believed that celestial bodies played a huge role in someone’s destiny.

Today, many still believe that these same external forces affect our lives.

The Law of Attraction draws from this belief, and it states that we should be gratefull whenever the Universe sends something good our way.

This is another way of fine tuning your frequency. When you actively pay attention to the positive things that happen around you, it acts like a magnet that attracts similar things.

And by being thankful for your blessings, you’re sending a powerful message to the Universe that essentially translates to:

“Thank you, that was awesome! More please!”

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#3: Take a leap of faith

The main challenge that people have with manifesting their desires is dealing with the world of the intangible.

It can be daunting (and even discouraging) to imagine a future outcome that hasn’t happened yet.

It takes some faith to push past that hazy uncertainty, and not everyone has it in them to do so.

So you need to check your inner Doubting Thomas at the door for a moment and appreciate how other people have used the Law of Attraction to succeed.

Consider the great figures from the past: Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Marie Curie, Vincent Van Gogh and Nikola Tesla.

All of them were shining examples of how they used their mind and willpower to create something valuable in this world.

They raised their own frequency and as result, had a different energy from the rest of humanity.

Even though they’re gone, their legacy lives on, and we can still feel its impact today.

It’s all because they took a brave step into the unknown.

Even though they couldn’t see how their work would ripple through the next several decades, they still powered through.

The skepticism that people have is the result of growing up.

As you get older and have more experiences, a certain amount of jadedness sets in.

That’s why you won’t find any of that in kids. Just think about how children play make-believe.

When they yell, “The floor is lava!” you can bet they’ll be scrambling for the nearest couch or chair to avoid getting “burned.”

On a certain level, they TRULY believe that the floor is literally molten rock.

They can see the hot, glowing lava, burning everything its path…

…and they do everything to stay out of its way.

That’s the power the mind and imagination in action.

Learn how to see the world on this level again. That way, you can see a bright future before it happens – then go on to make it a reality.

Click Here To Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life

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#4: Keep on keepin’ on

One of the realities of this world is that you can’t eliminate adversity.

It’s always going to be an uphill climb at some point, especially when you’ve just taken on a new challenge.

You’ve been eating right and working out, but the pounds aren’t quite flying off as you’d hoped.

You started a side income project, but your cash flow hasn’t been anything more than a trickle.

You’ve tried beating your depression with exercise, therapy and medication, but the dark thoughts still charge at you like a freight train.

That’s called RESISTANCE.

It will always be there, even as you dig deep and do everything in your power to manifest the reality you want.

Being a grown-up means expecting those external circumstances to work against you.

Your best response? PUSH BACK.

Keep your inner world together, and the outside world will follow suit.

Dumbledore once told Harry Potter, “Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”

Remember: the hero of the story is never a one-person army.

Harry had Hermione and Ron.

Luke had Obi-Wan and Yoda.

And you don’t have to fly solo in YOUR journey.

Think about the people in your inner circle – are they giving you the energy, motivation and inspiration to succeed?

If the company you keep sneers at growth and being better, maybe it’s time to look for other friends to round out your squad.

Seek people who lead by example and can show you how to overcome that resistance in your life.

Learn from them and let their enthusiasm rub off you.

While you’re at it, use technology to connect to like-minded folks who can help you in your quest. Open your phone or laptop and fire up YouTube, Vimeo or any other video streaming site.

TED talks, self-help lectures and tons of other empowering content are literally at your fingertips.

The Universe has too much abundance for you to ignore.

We’re part of a vast human network, and our collective energy affects everyone else in ways we can’t yet fully comprehend.

This network has always been around; the Internet merely accelerated it. Tap into it and unleash its power.

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#5: Tune out your Negative Ned (or Nancy)

There’s always that voice in the back of your head that kicks in when life gets tough.

It loves whispering things in your ear, usually at the height of your frustration and despair:

- “You totally blew that one, why do you even bother trying?”

- “You had one job and you screwed it up like always…I’m not even surprised.”

- “Getting back on the horse, are we? I give it a week before you go back to your old ways. Better to quit while you’re ahead!”

- “You actually thought he was complimenting you? Oh, bless your heart…it’s called ‘small talk’ and ‘being nice’.”

If you’re like the rest of the human species, you’re going to run into those nasty folks called insecurity, self-doubt and fear.

They’re going to take up space in your head and try to drown you out with their noise.

Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet and scholar, knew this well. It his poem “The Guest House”, he spoke an ancient truth about the human condition.

He likened all our thoughts and feelings – both good and bad – as visitors who stopped by the guest house of the soul.

And this line struck me the most:

“The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.”

Once I understood what it meant, I realized that I didn’t have to resist it. I could simply let my obnoxious guests do their thing, and see them out.

It’s not about covering your ears and going, “La la la la! I can’t hear you!”

Acknowledging their existence in your head is NOT the same as letting them win.

The world’s greatest achievers go through bouts of darkness and anger like everyone else.

The main difference is that they use their failures as material for an instruction manual called “What NOT to Do and How to Do It Better The Next Time Around”.

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#6: Ditch your story

You shouldn’t stop at managing your negative thoughts, however. You need to peel back another layer and go deeper.

Here’s the thing: you grew up on a set of beliefs, whether you’re aware of it or not.

Your parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone you knew growing up contributed to your programming.

You don’t know it, but you operate on this programming on a daily basis.

And it influences every decision you make – and how you choose to see the world.

Now this can be a good thing if you grew up around people who were positive, motivated and had a good outlook on life…

…but this is the real world we’re talking about, so NOT everyone had that kind of effect on you.

Somewhere along your journey, someone discouraged you in a subtle way, or put some sort of label that you can’t shake off.

Words like “Underachiever”, “Oddball”, “Loser”, “Nerd”, “Small Fry”, “Ugly Duckling” and “Black Sheep” come to mind…

…and each one is damaging in its own toxic way.

Sadly, most people carry this invisible weight their whole life.

But starting today, you can lay those bricks on the ground and walk away for good. You don’t have to carry that weight for anyone, especially not for THEM.

Stop living your story based on the false narrative that your negative programming created.

All those preconceived beliefs need to go if you want to attract happiness and prosperity in your life.

I’ve seen people achieve INCREDIBLE things – even the impossible – just by doing this one thing.

Lionel, a heroin addict from Michigan, was in and out of jail for the longest time.

But after overdosing within an inch of his life, he decided to ditch his old story.

Even after everyone gave up on Lionel and called him a “screw-up”, he turned it all around.

He let go of the labels that people had been putting on him for YEARS…

…and Lionel decided he didn’t have to be any of those things anymore.

Lionel created a NEW story for himself – one where he was finally free of his crippling addiction and lived a clean, sober life.

What kind of story do YOU want to live out?

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#7: Make your affirmations “pop”

You might have heard of people making declarations about themselves to manifest them as truth, and not just as an opinion.

When you affirm some truth about yourself, it validates the awesomeness within you.

Words of kindness heal the soul and help forgive past failures.

In short, it’s about LOVING yourself.

After all, you can’t give what you don’t have.

However, saying “Boy I sure love myself!” doesn’t quite do the trick.

To make your affirmations stick in your subconscious, it needs to have a little something extra.

Don’t stop at “I love me!”- take it up another notch to really drive the point home.

Try these on for size:

- “I love myself so much that I want to use my gifts and share them with the world. I want to take this love inside me and use it to lift other people up.”

- “By sharing the love I have, I possess the power to change myself for the better, and the world around me.”

- “I am love, light, peace and prosperity. Anger, hate and scarcity have no power over me.”

- Aside from loving yourself, you can also infuse a dash of humor in your affirmations. Who says you have to be so grim with his Law of Attraction stuff, anyway?

When you add a bit of levity while you affirm yourself, it shushes your Negative Ned (or Nancy) into silence.

Try coming up with statements like these:

- “I’m so awesome that I kick mediocrity in its big fat butt!”

- “I’ve come here to be awesome at everything I do and kick major butt. And I’m all out of butts to kick.”

- “Did you say something, self-doubt? Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness!”

It’s all a matter of finding the right attitude and tone that suits you. Take a crack at making these affirmations, and you’ll soon find your true inner voice.

What matters is that you inject your affirmations with a serious amount of attitude, and above all, ENERGY.

Without that energy, you won’t give your messages enough “juice” to reach the Universe and show up on its radar.

Those who practice the Law of Attraction often combine these affirmations with their meditation sessions to hit two birds with one stone.

And the results are nothing short of phenomenal.

Now, about that gift I promised you earlier…

To make the MOST out of your meditation, I’ve got a series of audio tracks to help you manifest incredible benefits in your life.

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adapembroke · 4 years ago

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Reading Tarot Like The High Priestess

My first exposure to the High Priestess in the movie The Mists of Avalon, a retelling of the myth of Arthur from the perspective of the women in the story. The character who most embodies the High Priestess in the first part of the film is the high priestess Vivian. She is powerful, mysterious, and magical. Like the Magician, the High Priestess is a master of all the elements, but, while the Magician’s magic comes from tools, Viviane and her priestesses use none. If they want to light a pile of sticks on fire, they uses their mind. If they want to lower the mists, their only tools are their hands. The source of the Magician’s power is external. Even if the Magician works with metaphors, the metaphors he uses are ones that have meaning in the outside world. Viviane and her priestesses find the source of their power internally. When a young priestess fails to light a pile of sticks on fire because she is distracted by visions of her brother, Viviane doesn’t tell her to get better at using her wand. She tells her to concentrate, to control her mind.

The power of the mind and intuition, this is the power of the High Priestess.

The High Priestess’s Magic is Intuition

How do you talk about intuition? It’s so different for everyone. Some people have a very physical experience of intuition. When they’re about to do something wrong, they literally feel it in their gut. Other people see colors or hear a skeptical grumbling noise from a guide. Some people just know things and have learned to trust that, even if they can’t give a reason. Some people are particularly adept at noticing signs and omens. Some people need tools to help them hear their intuition. They practice automatic writing or morning pages every morning, or they start their day with a Tarot reading, or are very particular about knowing what all of the astrological transits are and how they effect them.

All of these diverse ways of hearing from inner wisdom is beautiful, if you know what your style of intuition is, but it can be a nightmare for someone who is just starting to figure out how to work with intuition. You need intuition in order to know what your style of intuition is, and with so many options, it can be really difficult to figure out where and how to listen.

The dictionary is no help with this whatsoever. The word “intuition” comes from the Latin word intuit which means “contemplate,” which is a compound word of “to look” and “upon.” So, intuition is the thing you look at, but what are you looking at, exactly? Definitionally, intuition is like an onion. You try to get to the center of it and find nothing but air. The dictionary isn’t wrong. The messages of intuition may (or may not) be dramatic for the person experiencing them, but intuition is private, subjective. There is really nothing for anyone else to see.

Intuition relies on what the political theorist Hannah Arendt called “a silent dialogue between me and myself.” It is in this idea that we begin to get some insight into what intuition really is. It is a way of communicating with yourself. Arendt called this silent dialog “thinking,” but intuition is more than thinking. Thinking is communicating with your rational self. Intuition communicates with parts of yourself that have nothing to do with rationality at all, the sides of yourself that are a little closer to the animals and a little closer to the gods.

The first type of intuition, the animal side, is often called your “gut.” I call it the “animal side” because it’s the kind of intuition animals have. It’s the part of you that has an animal sense of people and places. It’s highly attuned to danger and safety, friend and foe. It’s the part of you that will not shut up about avoiding that stupid stairwell at work, even though you never run into anyone there, and taking it shaves five minutes off your walk to your bus. It’s the part of you that looks at someone you’ve never met and says, “That person is bad news.” Or it’s the part of you that’s kind of like a golden retriever, who meets someone for the first time and desperately, happily wants that person to be your friend.

The second type of intuition, the divine side, is what people usually mean when they say intuition. It’s a little bit ethereal and mysterious. It’s the part of you that knows this pendulum is for you and not that one. It’s the part of you that knows your friend really needs a hug, even though they haven’t said anything and everything about their body language says they’re fine. It’s not rational. There is no rational reason why the pendulum with the quartz stone and the moon handle is better for you than the amethyst stone with a quartz handle, but something in you knows, even before you try the pendulum, that one is for you, and the other one is not.

The more mystical expression of intuition has historically been associated with women. Some, even today, call this type of intuition “women’s intuition” and deny that people who aren’t women have access to this type of knowing at all. This is wrong. Intuition has nothing to do with estrogen or gender signaling. Everyone, regardless of their gender has intuition, but if you don’t identify as a woman, you may have a difficult time finding people in the media who use intuition to make decisions and look like you. Until this problem is fixed, sitting with the lack of representation can be, itself, a way of working with the high priestess.

The Dark Goddess

One of the High Priestess’s symbols is the moon. This marks her as a priestess of the Dark Goddesses. Dark Goddesses like Ceridwen, Hekate, and the Morrigan are comfortable with the darker side of human nature. Hekate is the goddess of witches who aren’t necessarily nice. Ceridwen is famous for her anger, and the Morrigan chooses those who are to be slain on the battlefield and eventually merged in the lore with the ban sidhe, the fairy monster who wails for the dead.

Why does the High Priestess come now in the Fool’s Journey? Why do we jump from the optimism of the Magician to a priestess of the goddesses of anger and death?

To answer that question, I’ll add another chapter to the story about Silicon Valley from “Reading Tarot Like The Magician.” In the beginning of the life of a technology startup, things look shiny and wonderful. You’re the Magician. You have this wonderful idea, and you know that no one else in the world has ever thought of anything like it. You feel like a genius. All you need to do is raise your hand on the right street in Palo Alto, and you know that all of the bankers are going to come running with their checkbooks begging you for the privilege of giving you cash.

You start to do the work. It goes well. You start to actually manifest some things in the world.

Then disaster strikes. You find out about a rival who came up with your idea six months earlier than you did. You make some appointments with bankers, and you feel like you’re speaking a foreign language when you talk to them, and they can’t understand what is so genius about your work. You learn that your idea isn’t actually that easy to implement. It’s hard work, and you’ve already quit your job, and you don’t own anything but your laptop and a box of frozen burritos. Your apartment is a tiny corner of somebody’s garage the size of a cubicle that you share with fifteen other startups.

You reach a dark night of the soul, and you come face to face with what kind of person you are when you’re miserable and under pressure. Ideally, you acknowledge your negative emotions. You figure out how you’re going to deal with being so angry, depressed, and jealous without causing anyone harm. At the very least, if you are going to keep going, you have to turn inward and face yourself. You need to connect with the part of yourself that wants to continue doing something difficult when so many things in the outer world—including rationality itself—seem to be against you. The part of us that stands between us and the darkness, between our rationality and the things we know that transcend rationality, this is the High Priestess.

Many people first encounter the High Priestess archetype during dark times in their lives. Until they go through those times, their lives simply don’t give them a reason to turn inward, and they have no reason to do the kind of intense contemplation that making friends with this archetype—and developing intuition—requires. If they come out of it, they will be more powerful and more intuitive and in more control of themselves than they’ve ever been, but like the High Priestess, they must do this work without tools.All they have are their will and their hands and their eyes and their gut.

With one exception.

The High Priestess’s Book

The High Priestess’s only tool is a book. Why this exception? The reason for this comes back to the dictionary definition of intuition, which is so deeply connected with “contemplation.”

Contemplation in most usages is just another word for thinking, but it also has a deeper meaning. In Druidry and some branches of Christianity, contemplation is a meditative act that is often assisted by reading sacred texts. This practice is sometimes called lectio divina, which translates as “divine reading.”

Divine reading is another gateway to developing intuition, one that is not quite as soul-tearing as the dark night of the soul. Engaging in that “silent dialog between me and myself” is difficult when you’re first starting out, and it can help to start by having a silent dialog between yourself and a book.

In divine reading, you turn your attention to a passage from a sacred text or poem, and after you’ve read it once, you go back and turn your attention to word or phrase or sentence that draws your attention. You don’t try to justify your decision rationally. You just go with the thing that stands out to you. And you think about the passage for a long time. If you think about it long enough, you find that you are, eventually, no longer dialoging with the book at all but dialoging with yourself. If you allow the dialog to go on long enough, you usually discover the reason why you chose that passage in the first place. Even if the reason for your choice remains mysterious, the decision to honor your intuition enough to act on it be an essential first step in learning to hear and work with your intuition.

The High Priestess in Divination

Like the Magician, the High Priestess is a beginner. She stands at the door of intuition. She accesses the waters of intuition behind her—and their attendant goddess—remotely, through the moon on her head and the book in her hands. Some come to her and ask her mediate between them and the Dark Goddess, but she knows there is only so much help they can get from the outside, and so she directs them back to their own wisdom.

As diviners, it is essential that we have a working relationship with intuition. Intuition tells us which cards to read or stones to throw. It guides us to the most important areas of a birth chart to focus on, and it tells us that this interpretation of a card is right and not that one, but there are times when intuition itself is the answer. There are times when a reading refuses to give answers and redirects our clients—or ourselves—to that deep inner knowing.

“Know yourself,” the High Priestess says. “Trust yourself.“

When you work with the High Priestess while doing divination, you are fundamentally alone. When you are learning her lessons, circumstances will conspire to make sure that you have a lot of alone time, or you may find yourself withdrawing into the darkness to commune with yourself. Don’t fight it. Darkness and quiet and solitude are necessary to begin to hear your own voice, and it is only after you have explored the dark corners of your soul that you can begin to hear the sides of yourself that rule your intuition and speak without words.

This post was originally published on Aquarius Moon Journal on 21 February 2020.

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mcrmadness · 4 years ago

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Color asks: coral, cream, coconut, honey, and scarlet

Color Asks.

coral: an animal you wish hadn’t gone extinct

Either quagga or thylacine. And yeah, thanks to humans, both species went extinct... It’s super weird to look at photos of these species and to know neither of them exist anymore. A human really is the worst species on this planet.

Thylacine was a marsupial but super weird looking one, almost like a dog but then not. It’s Finnish name actually is “pussihukka” which basically translates to a “bag wolf” - the front part of the name is because marsupial in Finnish is “pussieläin” (”a bag animal”) because, you know, they have this pocket instead of a womb where the offspring grow :D And thylacine was very canine-like looking so it was only natural to add there an old word for “wolf” in Finnish.

Quagga then was an equine species closely related to zebras. It’s very weird looking because it was partially dark brown but with stripes. I think some zebra-horse hybrids actually can look a bit like quaggas but unfortunately it’s not the same thing + usually those equine hybrids are born sterile anyway. I don’t remember for sure if there’s been attempts of “cloning” a quagga or so, all I know is that the Przewalski’s horse almost went extinct at some point but with the help of zoos etc., humans were able to save them from the same fate. (Faith in humanity restored... for a moment.) But apparently even those might not be 100% descended from the real Przewalski’s horses. Anyway, most if not all of the other “wild horses” nowadays are usually descended from tamed individuals. E.g. all the American Mustang horses are like that and none of them descend from the real American wild horses that once roamed free.

(Both photos from Wikipedia.)

***

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

Nope. I had earrings but I then had a rebel phase and let the earholes to grow shut(?) and wanted everyone to see that and say “oh poor you” but no one did and now I’m annoyed because NOW I wish I had earholes so I could use earrings again :DDD But I’m afraid of needles and doing piercings is not too unrisky with a congenital heart defect (because it literally is creating an open wound, and those are always risky if not taken care of properly). But the biggest issue is the needles and pain. Idk, if they can use numbing cream for piercings, maybe I’ll get earrings one day again. Back then I dreamed that I would have had 3 earholes on both instead of just 1. I also like how lip piercings look like but that might be way too much.

Tattoos I have never really cared about so that’s a no.

***

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about

Oh there’s so many! It’d be easier to answer to what I DON’T like learning about :D But as you already can see from the first answer: zoology.

I grew up as a zoology nerd, I loved dinosaurs (they’re still cool tho) and anything to do with evolution. I watched just any movie or series with dinos - Jurassic Park, The Land Before Time, BBC Walking With Dinosaurs (a document series), Disney’s Dinosaur and so many others. I loved these but my siblings were maybe even more into them than I and I already was very much into them :D My sister had a proper special interest in dinos. We also had so many dinosaur figurines we used to play with all the time.

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There was also another series like this, called Walking with Cavemen, but I never found the apes as interesting as other animals so I didn’t watch that one too much.

Later on I loved playing Zoo Tycoon! I actually learnt a lot about mammals that happened between dinosaurs and modern animals from there. The Dinosaur Digs EP had also lots of different modern-day animals’ precessor species like the giant sloth, saber toothed cat or macrauchenia. Back in the 90s it was actually hard to find any info about these, dinos were everywhere but not really these so I was always excited to find new info - I had a couple of books and then also really enjoyed BBC’s Walking With Beasts that was about those species especially. I still don’t know too much about these creatures so I still enjoy browsing animal “family trees” and reading about where did everything come from, and to which dinosaur/extinct animal any modern-day animal is related to.

***

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

I was obsessed with magic as a kid, much before even getting into Harry Potter (idk if those were even released yet back then? At least not the movies and I started with them.) and me and my cousin were convinced that I was a witch. I don’t remember for sure what was it that convinced us of that - I can remember only one thing: we were to an art school as a hobby once a week and sometimes I “wished” so hard that her mother aka my aunt would come and pick us up by a car and they would bring me home. And sometimes that actually did happen! Normally I used to take a bus home, she would walk to the bus stop with me and wait there with me until the bus came, and she walked to her home. She lived at the downtown area unlike me. (I didn’t live far away tho, it was just a bit too long way to walk home, took about 10-15min by bus.)

In a way I still believe in some sort of magic. I’m supr skeptic nowadays, before I would just immediately think of everything as something magical or paranormal. Sometimes it’s not good with my anxiety and its tendency to do ocd-like “magical thinking”, e.g. feeling like saying something scary aloud will make it happen. Also I have to say that the horse business, at least the harness racing field, is super superstitious profession :D There’s lots of money and betting involved and we always had this saying “It doesn’t survive the compliments.” meaning you should never say “This horse has never had problems with their legs!” because that will definitely cause the horse to injure itself sooner than you’d even guess. I also always always avoided saying “We will win today.” because if I said that, we definitely did not win. So I always asked the horses “Are we gonna win today?” or was talking to the horse and told them how we should win today. But never said “We WILL win.” and I always felt like bad luck was happening when my coworkers started chanting how we’re gonna win today.

But more than magic, I kinda believe in intuition. There were a few cases when I was to the races with the horses and I just had this feeling that we’re gonna go home with a win. I don’t know where did it come from, I just knew it. I felt it somewhere deep inside that this is the day. And usually that feeling always was right. I never said it aloud tho because of course it would have not happened if I did. Or so I believe :D

***

scarlet: favorite holiday

I don’t really have any. They are all the same anyway. When I was working, we didn’t really have any public holidays with horses. I mean, someone’s gotta take care of the animals no matter what the calendar says :D But I actually really liked that! Only time I had a proper holiday was during Christmas. Basically that could be my favorite holiday because of the presents I get to give to people.

Another one that’s nice is the Midsummer day, it’s a huge thing in Finland. Tho, for me it doesn’t really mean anything else but my birthday (which can be negative thing too because I have an age crisis :D) since it’s super common for people to go out to get wasted, but I don’t drink alcohol nor do I have friends :D So usually I just stay at home or visit my family.

#useless-blog-of-a-moth #ask games #animals

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detective-with-one-arm · 4 years ago

Note

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

Vanilla!Rachel

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Not on purpose. While she doesn’t really get jealous, there is the smallest sharp prick in her chest. But she keeps that shit to herself and supports her friends and loved ones no matter what. She would honestly rather die than let her jealousy leak out and affect her relationships.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

Most of the time, no. She’s generally a very affectionate, patient, and kind person and is typically the one who initiates it. But if something has happened and she’s been hurt by someone, she’ll need some time away on her own before she’ll accept anything from them and if it comes across as hollow and selfish, then she will reject it.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

I was hoping someone would ask this.

Because the thing is...she would. She wouldn’t want to. She would do absolutely everything in her power not to. It is the last thing in the world she would ever want to live with doing. But if there is no other choice and no other way out and if either they or someone holding them captive was so dangerous and was causing so much harm to people that the only way to stop them was to either kill or allow them to kill someone close to her...she would do it.

And it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

It would destroy her.

Siren!Rachel

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

She more just gets really clingy and sad. Like, she would never hurt someone out of jealousy, but she might make them feel kinda guilty. Not on purpose, but she’s been alone for pretty much her whole life and once she has friends, she tends to get really attached to them really quickly. Even more so if she finds a mate. So she’ll more do the whole ‘you don’t want me anymore...?’ sorta thing. But this is nothing some soft reassurance can’t cure. She’s just lonely and insecure and doesn’t really know better.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

Never. She cherishes her friendships that she gains and would never take their affections or kindnesses for granted. This does make her a bit naïve and too trusting and forgiving for her own good, but she doesn’t really know better. All she knows is that she wants her friends to stay.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

She would literally rather die.

Sea Naga!Rachel

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Oh, definitely. She doesn’t really attach herself much to someone emotionally. But when she does, she can definitely have a selfish streak. If that person seems to prefer someone else’s company to hers, she’ll be rather irritable towards her chosen partner and will do just about everything to keep them to herself. And if they somehow separate from her, she’ll probably end up hurting the person getting more of her partner’s attention.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

She wouldn’t...refuse it, exactly. She would more just be confused by it. Not that she’s particularly soft or anything, she would just be baffled as to why anyone would show her kindness. It’s neither a negative or positive feeling, it’s just confusing as shit.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

She doesn’t really...care about a greater good. She just exists in a state of self-indulgence. That being said, if someone did manage to get close to her, she would never want them dead. She might hurt them if they do something that genuinely angers or pisses her off, but she would never kill them.

Ichthyocentaur!Rachel

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

No. She would never hurt someone out of jealousy, but she doesn’t get as clingy as Siren!Rachel probably would. Maybe a little dejected, but she would let her partner or friend do whatever they’d like. She would just sort of sit on the sidelines and wait for them to come back and give her attention. She’s already shy and tends to keep her distance, but once she actually makes a connection with someone, she’ll be around them more, but she won’t really hold onto them if they’d rather maintain their distance. She’d feel too shy to say anything.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

She’s already hesitant to approach people as is, so she would be hesitant to accept anything from anyone. But if someone she knows and it decently familiar shows her kindness and affection, she would accept it reluctantly.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

She would probably run away rather than have to make the choice. She doesn’t really have a concept of ‘greater good’ and more just is concerned about immediate self-preservation. She’s not really a fighter or a hunter, so she would probably run away first. If someone close to her died because of this, it would probably upset and devastate her for a good while.

Pirate!Rachel

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

She definitely has a bit more of a jealous streak, but she wouldn’t do anything to someone else out of jealousy. After all, she earned her position as captain not by being a spiteful bitch but genuinely gaining the camaraderie of the crew and then culling down the former captain that inspired mutiny and skullduggery within the crew. She’s become quite the diplomat growing up with the scurvy crew, so she’d know how to communicate with her partner how she feels and if she trusts them, so long as they’re honest and she knows they aren’t afraid of being honest, her jealousy isn’t something to worry about. In fact, she finds something kind of attractive about a partner who likes making her pay attention to them. It’s kinda hot to her. At least, so long as her partner knows that’s what they’re doing.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

While she’s figuring or sussing someone out, yeah, probably. Despite how tightly knit she is with her own crew, even she has a healthy amount of skepticism towards them and takes things offered to her with the utmost caution. With someone she doesn’t know too well, that increases by tenfold. But once she’s absolutely sure about someone, she actually enjoys it, not that she’ll let it show in front of her crew. She may be about fun and adventure and revelry and camaraderie, but she doesn’t let them think she’s soft.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

The most ‘greater good’ she really cares about is her crew and her ship. Maybe even some of the towns she’s stopped at that she really likes and is on good terms with. With her history and her having to usurp the previous captain, she would not hesitate to take someone out if someone she’s invested her resources and trust in became a threat. She would put them down in an instant and make an example of what happens when you abuse her trust and her generosity.

Putting the rest of these under a cut because this post is already long and it’s gonna be even longer.

Vanilla!Howard/Collector!Howard

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Most definitely. And he would do it in a really sneaky and underhanded way. This man is really good at manipulation and getting right to the emotional wound that will sting the most to ward someone away from his object of obsession affection, including gaslighting.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

I wouldn’t say he would refuse someone’s kindness. Affection, definitely. He’s not really an affectionate or intimate person, but he won’t refuse kindnesses shown to him. But accepting them means absolutely nothing to him.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

He does not care about a ‘greater good’ nor does he really consider anyone ‘close’ to him, but there are no lengths he won’t sink to to further his own goals.

Siren!Howard

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Oh, yes. He most certainly would. If his catch somehow has someone else that would either be looking for them or they somehow manage to escape to, Howard will not hesitate to make sure his catch knows that they’re his and that that’s not changing. Though, he might not just hurt or kill the other. He might just be tempted on capturing them, too, and depositing his brood in them, too, and force his initial catch to watch. Just to make a point.

You and everything you have is his.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

He doesn’t really care about either of these things. That being said, if his catch was doing kindnesses and being affectionate towards him, even if it was against their will or out of fear, he won’t refuse it. He takes great pleasure from it and it boosts his ego.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

Once again, he does not give a shit about a ‘greater good’ or even has a ‘greater good’ to care about. He operates entirely out of self-interest. However, if someone were to harm (at least from his perspective) his catch, he wouldn’t hesitate to put them down.

Ichthyocentaur!Howard

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

He will stomp them to death with his hooves. Nobody touches or even goes near his catch.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

When he puts on the whole ‘charming steed’ act, he definitely won’t. But once he’s caught his victim, anybody else who tries will promptly be met with violence.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

More or less the same answer as Siren!Howard, but it’s less ‘I won’t let you harm my mate’ and more ‘don’t fucking touch them or I will reduce your bodies to piles of flattened gore.”

Vanilla!Serena

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Under ordinary circumstances, she won’t get close enough to someone to feel jealousy. But if she does, she will probably punish them in some way. She doesn’t know how to handle her emotions very well, especially in a relationship and she doesn’t know how to express them in a healthy or productive way.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

Oh, all the fucking time. She might pretend to for the sake of keeping her act up long enough for her to trap her victim, but she does not give a shit or want it. Well, okay, secretly she does but she’s not gonna make that known. That being said, if she does end up getting close to someone, she will do so. Very very very reluctantly and hesitantly and with a decent amount of convincing, but she will do it.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

Technically speaking, she’s convinced herself that all her killings are ‘for the greater good.’ Even though she’s operating entirely on selfish interests, she does believe all in all that what she’s doing is ‘for the greater good.’ She doesn’t want to let anyone get close to her, but if she does, she would really only do it if she was convinced they were somehow different. If they prove her wrong, she won’t hesitate to sentence them to the same fate as her other victims.

Siren!Serena/Ichthyocentaur!Serena

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

She can’t be jealous over something she has no interest in having. She only cares about one thing and that’s killing and devouring people.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

No, but only because she’s trying to lure them into their watery doom.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

There’s no such thing as ‘close to’ or ‘greater good.’ She just kills and eats people.

Vanilla!Nathan/Marine Biologist!Nathan

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Nathan doesn’t get jealous. At all. So, no chance of harm coming to someone if he did. And even if he did, he would never want to hurt anyone regardless.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

Not on purpose. A lot of the time, he gets so enraptured in something that he forgets to acknowledge some things, but he does really appreciate the kindnesses and gifts people show him. Y’know, once he makes close connections outside of his scientific pursuits.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

No. Not under any circumstances.

Mer!Nathan

♛ Hurt someone out of jealousy

Nathan is absolutely fascinated by humans. So if he discovered one was equally fascinated with him, he would be ecstatic! So if they were to spend more time away from him with someone else, he might get a little possessive and jealous, but he would never want to hurt anybody.

✿ Refuse someone’s kindness or affection

He might be a little averse to affection, at least until he gets close with someone, but any positive and kind attention given to him from humans is accepted. It allows him to be closer and understand them better.

☢ Kill someone close to them for the greater good

The closest thing to ‘greater good’ to him would be a threat to someone he cared about. If he saw that they were in immediate danger, he would absolutely kill someone to protect them.

#the-quantum-repairman #ooc #answered ask #ask meme #ask #dbh ocs #siren verse #ichthyocentaur verse #mer verse #pirate verse #sea naga verse #collector verse #marine biologist verse #{Rachel}#{Howard}#{Serena}#{Nathan}

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solalunar-eclipse · 4 years ago

Text

Scars You Can’t See - Chapter 5

Chapter title: Ready to explode

Word count: about 3800 words (whoa)

Author’s Note: I think it’s about time I gave a shoutout to @teamxdark! Their comments have gotten me to start planning out some of the later chapters (and giving me a lot of inspiration), so I figured they deserved some credit!

And thank you to everyone who’s read this fic so far- every note I get is incredible and I hope you’re all enjoying the ride :)

First | Previous | Next

Sonic stared blankly at his phone screen for the fifth time this morning. The old texts and the name at the top of the messaging app blurred slightly as his eyes unfocused. He was waiting for...something. What, he wasn’t sure.

That was a lie.

Truthfully, he was hoping that the three little dots showing that someone was typing would appear like a miracle. He knew that wouldn’t happen, though. The hedgehog on the other end of the messages had turned off his phone entirely. Heck, Shadow was literally in hiding. There had been exactly one post on Chatter (which he and Tails totally hadn’t read over and over searching for hidden messages) and that was from Omega.

But chaos, how Sonic wished for just five minutes to talk to him. He hadn’t even realized before now how much he normally texted the hybrid in a day. The hero honestly just messaged whenever he saw something or found a funny joke that he thought Shadow would like. In dealing with his new absence, though, Sonic had come up with an idea to write down whatever it was he’d seen that he figured Shadow would enjoy and save it for later.

He was forced to stop this when he wrote nearly two thousand words’ worth of moments in half an hour.

Sonic cursed all the times he’d taken Shadow’s near-constant presence for granted. The hybrid had always been a punctual texter, despite Rouge’s repeated attempts to convince him that he didn’t have to answer right away. Even when the other hedgehog had been off on a mission, Sonic still had an idea of how long he needed to wait before he could start texting. But now, it could be days, weeks, or even months before he could talk to Shadow freely again.

What if you’ll never hear from him again? a nasty inner voice whispered. What if that call was the last time you got to hear his voice?

Sonic felt his stomach fall through the floor at that idea, before swallowing the sensation and shaking his head. He couldn’t doubt Team Dark like that! They were guaranteed to pull through, and kick G.U.N.’s butt in the process.

Speaking of which…

The hero was pretty angry at G.U.N., and that was actually a big deal for him. Sonic didn’t get angry, except sometimes at Eggman. Even when a bitter detractor had posted a lengthy essay on Chatter explaining exactly why Sonic was (supposedly) a terrible person, he hadn’t reacted in fury- or even close. He’d had his friends’ support, and honestly? He’d pitied the person more than anything. Anyone who was trying to tear others down had probably been hurt pretty badly themselves.

Sonic had even made a meme out of their misspelling of his name- “Sanic” was now a worldwide joke with a hilarious drawing to match.

But now, all he really wanted to do was beat someone up- some robots, some evil agents, whatever- and trash the whole organization until they were all falling over themselves to apologize. The fact that G.U.N. had dared to treat Shadow’s obviously painful past with no kindness whatsoever really got on his nerves. The hybrid had suffered a hundred times over, lost his memory, and even died to save the world, yet he still didn’t get the respect he deserved.

“Uhhh, Sonic? Is everything okay?”

The blue blur jumped, startled out of his spiraling thoughts. He heard a growling noise, and his eyes widened when he realized it was coming from him. Sonic could feel his lips curled back into a snarl and quickly straightened his face out, blinking and clearing his throat. “Yeah! Sorry, Tails…” he said, embarrassed at having been caught in that kind of state. The fox eyed him skeptically. “Really, I’m fine!”

“Are you su-”

“Yeah!” Sonic exclaimed, grinning reassuringly. No point in upsetting others with his own problems, after all. “Everything’s good here, buddy!”

“If you say so…” Tails muttered. He didn’t seem convinced, but accepted it despite this. “Anyway, what I came over to say was: we’re out of groceries- can you head out and get some? I made a list of everything we need, it’s right here!”

Ordinarily, Sonic would’ve complained loudly and with much drama about having to do something so menial as a grocery run when he was a hero, for chaos’ sake. But that wasn’t the case these days. “Sure thing!” Sonic agreed, feeling better already. With a distraction to keep his worries and negative thoughts away, he’d be back to normal in no time. “See ya soon!”

The blue blur dashed out the door- before returning a second later, a sheepish grin on his face. “Forgot the list,” he explained, rushing out again.

With the wind in his quills, it was almost too easy to forget everything that he’d been thinking about just moments before. Sonic grinned properly as he raced across fields and through side streets. This was his element, after all! He made his way to his and Tails’ favorite grocery store, bounding over obstacles and pulling a few awesome parkour tricks he’d picked up over the years. Shadow had always gotten on their case for not supporting a more local store- this one was a big name, after all- but Sonic had--

He shook his head, walking into the building. No more thoughts like that! There was only so much ruminating on bittersweet memories a guy could do in a day.

His presence here was relatively common, so he didn’t do much more than turn a few heads as he stepped through the automatic doors into the air-conditioned halls of the large grocery store. Sonic forced himself to walk through the aisles (instead of sprinting through them and accidentally whipping half the items off the shelves in his wake). As he did so, though, he began to hear people talking. And they weren’t just talking about the latest viral video, or boring politics, or any of those things, either.

They were talking about them.

Of course, everyone would always change the subject when he walked by, chatting loudly about their dog or their kids or whatever. It was almost as though they were saying, “Don’t look at me! I didn’t say anything about your friends! I’m just here, minding my own business!” But of course none of them really had been.

He recognized that he was spiraling down the path of thinking about it again, even though there was nothing he could do. And now no matter what, the thoughts of some of his closest friends were tainted. Which totally didn’t frustrate him at all.

It didn’t help, he thought irritably (not noticing the mild scowl that had appeared on his face), that G.U.N. was basically screaming in all the op-eds and information releases the organization could get their hands on that they weren’t in the wrong. They didn’t say that specifically, of course- that would be too obvious. Instead, they just published the same old news over and over again: Team Dark had stolen classified files and then run away.

This had all begun to grate on Sonic’s nerves a little, particularly when pundits and newspaper writers alike began to spout wild conspiracy theories about Team Dark having been spies for ‘the enemy’- whoever that was- or that one of them had finally lost it...or even all three at once. The most frustrating, however, was when once avid supporters of the former G.U.N. agents completely disavowed them and distanced themselves from the team as much as possible. It made him want to pull a Knuckles and punch a wall- how could people turn on the team so easily?

The hero pulled himself back to reality to realize that he’d been staring at a can of soup for the past few minutes. And were those dents where his fingers had been? He put the can in his shopping cart, took a deep breath, and continued on, giving himself a little ride on the back of the cart as a treat. Normally, he’d remember his various accidents and restrain himself, but lately the hero had needed to clear his head. He deserved this.

A few minutes later, a chime on his phone let him know that Tails had sent him a message. Sonic opened it up and read the text:

milesperhour: Sonic, I think you need to see this. Take a close look at paragraph 5. https://www.centralcitynews.com/team-dark-update

Sonic clicked the link, sighing, and began to scan the article. Another one? Really, he’d had enough of-

Oh boy. Oh wow. Okay.

They’d made a move. G.U.N. didn’t release much in the way of information- all they’d done was declare an official alert asking people to keep a lookout for Rouge, Shadow and Omega. And to tip G.U.N. off at a hotline that they’d provided for this purpose.

Sonic had learned how to read between the lines over the last few days, though, and on his second read-through, he saw what most would not.

...are in possession of multiple classified files…

So they’d stolen more info? That must’ve been what Omega’s post was about! Sonic began to squeeze his phone hopefully. Maybe this was it, maybe soon this whole nightmare would be over!

He practically flew through the rest of the store at the thought. Team Dark would give G.U.N. what for, the organization would apologize, and then everything would be fine!

Sonic checked out in a hurry, rushing home as fast as he could. Slamming open the door, he yelled out, “Tails! Did you see- oh right, you sent me the article. But still! Things are looking up, buddy!”

Tails had a slightly lopsided grin on his face, making the hero’s heart sink. “What’s that look all about?”

“I don’t know- it’s probably nothing! After all, Team Dark can handle any situation they come up against...just, G.U.N. has a lot of resources, you know?”

Sonic’s smile returned in full force. “Sure they do, but they also owe me for saving the world, like, a million times over! Once we’ve got the Edge Gang back with us, I’ll go talk with the commander and get them to straighten everything out!”

“That sounds like corruption, Sonic…” Tails said, a wicked smirk appearing on his face.

“Dude, what?! No! I’d never-! I just meant I was gonna see if I could talk some sense into them- hey, get back here!” Sonic screeched, seeing Tails run off with the groceries...including the donut he’d bought for himself.

…

Later that afternoon, Sonic was in the middle of finally enjoying said donut after wrestling it from Tails’s (evil terrible Sonic-and-sugar-hating) claws. It was a little squished, but it was still great- he wasn’t complaining!

That was, of course, when he heard a loud, sharp knock on the door.

He jumped up and zipped over to the entry hall, pastry still in hand. Whipping open the door, a shocking sight greeted him- one that made all of his battle-honed senses immediately scream danger danger danger. Two impeccably dressed G.U.N. agents stood before him, a human and a barn owl. The human seemed pretty awkward, wearing slightly rumpled slacks and overall looking a little messy. The owl, however, despite being about the same height as the blue blur, exuded an air of steely discipline that would make everyone she faced feel about two inches tall.

Everyone except Sonic, that was. He was secure in the knowledge that his friends were not wrong, and he maintained his usual relaxed demeanor without a hitch. The hero smiled fake-pleasantly at the two agents, ignoring the fact that he had sugar glaze at the corners of his mouth and all over his glove. “Sorry, guys, I wasn't really expecting guests.” He gestured to himself as an obvious example. “Anything I can do for ya?”

He didn’t offer to let them inside, though. These agents were hunting down his friends, he was absolutely sure of that. Sonic refused to help them in any way, not when Team Dark was still out there and being threatened by their organization.

The barn owl gave him a look that nearly pierced through his very soul. “Sonic the Hedgehog. I am Agent Toya, and this is my colleague, Agent Jones. We have a few questions that we would like to ask you. Inside.” Her voice was cold and clear, with no trace of an accent.

Sonic felt a chill run down his spine, but kept his smile up regardless. “Sure thing!” he chirped, despite very much not wanting to let them in. “The living room’s right this way- make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be back there in a sec.” He honestly didn’t think he could have refused them entry without...complications.

The hero zipped over to Tails’s workshop, flinging open the door with a little more force than he’d intended. The fox jumped up in a fright when it smacked against the wall, staring at Sonic. “G.U.N. is here. Two agents.” he said quickly. The imminent sense of danger in the back of his head wouldn't leave him be, despite the fact that he was one of the most powerful people alive.

...Despite this, don’t let G.U.N. take you or anyone else anywhere. You might not come back…

...These people aren’t crazy geniuses- they’re ruthless destroyers…

“Oh, chaos.” Tails breathed. “I’ll wait nearby, okay? Then I can do something if they start getting too intense.”

Sonic nodded, before speeding back down to see the agents sitting on his couch. “Hi! So whatcha guys want?” he asked perkily, burying his thoughts for now.

“Hello to you too, Sonic.” Jones said politely. “How are you?”

The hero tugged slightly at the cuff of his glove. “Pretty good!” he lied through his grin. “Been chilling around the house for most of the day- how ‘bout you?”

“Not bad,” the human answered. “Work is work though, you know?”

“Yeah, sounds pretty rough.” Sonic said, a little unconvincingly. Before he could stop himself, he thought of all the late nights Shadow and Omega had spent working on paperwork and various odd jobs for G.U.N., and the times when Rouge had to cancel her dates with Knuckles because she was just too exhausted from work to do much of anything. His smile became slightly strained as he worked to keep his frustration on Team Dark’s behalf under wraps.

The owl gazed at him silently for a moment, having watched this whole awkward transaction with a calculating look in her eye. Then she spoke. “I’m certain you have seen the news lately.”

“Uhhh...kinda, I’m not big on newspapers, but I try to keep up, yeah! Always nice to see an article about yours truly, hah.” He played it off, deciding to act dumb for now.

Agent Jones shifted in his seat, looking cautious. “Yeah…” he said, offering up an incredibly fake smile. “I’m a bit of a fan, myself.”

Sonic knew exactly what was going on. It was almost so classic he had to laugh- the old good cop/bad cop scenario. The human was clearly trying to play the good cop, and not enjoying it either. The hedgehog had to wonder, though, was he just a better bad cop or uncomfortable because he was helping grill a hero?

Oh, right- Agent Toya was talking again. “We know that you have seen the articles published about the betrayal of Team Dark. Even if you do not read the news, one of your friends will have told you by now.”

The hedgehog’s eyes narrowed a little. “And what’s that supposed to mean? What do you want outta me?”

“You. Know. Something.” she said sharply. “That team- in particular Shadow the Hedgehog-” He tensed at her flippant use of his name, as if they weren’t hunting him down like he had legitimately gone bad. “-trust you. You are very close with them. They would not have left you with nothing.”

Sonic shook his head, trying one last time. “I don’t think so, lady. I know about as much as you- if that. It’s not like we’re besties or anything.”

Agent Jones shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know- it looks like you guys are pretty close to me. Not that that’s bad, I mean-!!” he amended rapidly, realizing his mistake. In addition to having blown his role as the ‘good cop’, he was now being stared down by a very irritated pair of green eyes. The look he was being given contrasted sharply with the grin plastered across the hero’s face, and the agent began to sweat slightly and avoid his stare.

Meanwhile, Sonic turned his attention back to Agent Toya, sitting up straight and squaring his shoulders in preparation for more. He was a fighter, after all.

It seemed that the barn owl came here ready for a fight as well, because her own eyes flashed and she straightened her G.U.N. uniform. “Sonic. We need information. Our organization has been compromised. Twice. We are in a crisis and we are ordering you to tell us what you know.”

That did it.

“As if!” the hero exclaimed, jumping to his feet. “You think I’m the kind of guy who’d sell his friends out and watch them get carted off to jail- or worse?! I don’t know as much as you think I do, and if I did, I wouldn’t tell you!” He had probably blown any semblance of ignorance up now, but Sonic couldn’t find it in himself to care.

The owl agent stood as well, glaring at him. “If that is the attitude you are going to take, then we have no choice but to take you into custody.” She began to reach for the Taser on her belt at the same time as Jones grabbed the gun from his holster. Sonic’s eyes flickered between them both- the human he could take on, but he wasn’t completely sure about Toya’s skill with the Taser.

Could he get around them? Sure, but not without breaking something...and he hated to bust up his house just because a couple of agents showed up on his doorstep and pulled weapons on him. He’d handled worse odds, hadn’t he? But then he and Tails would constantly be on the run, and that was no way for a nine-year-old to live…

A loud crash resounded in the kitchen. Jones shouted and jumped up, Sonic’s head snapped around so fast he tweaked his neck, and Toya took a step backwards.

Rubbing his neck and wincing, Sonic yelled out, “Everything okay in there?”

Tails dashed into the room out of nowhere, crying out, “Sorry! Sorry! I was just working and wanted a drink- and I heard- I heard-”

The fox then began to cry, sobbing and clinging to Sonic’s chest. “You’re not gonna take him away, are you? I need my big brother…” he sniffled. “Sonic, everything’s gonna be okay, right?”

The hero was trying his very hardest, meanwhile, to keep his jaw from hitting the floor as he watched his brother, a brave, intelligent sidekick and someone he was proud to fight beside, put on the most incredible show he’d ever seen. “I…I dunno, buddy…” he said honestly, uncertain about how to react.

This seemed to be a pretty good move, as Tails immediately began to bawl harder and gasped, in between sobs, “Please don’t take him away from me!”

It appeared that Toya would not feel comfortable using force against Sonic (or even resuming her interrogation) when the young fox was around. Instead, she gave him a very pointed, piercing look, before declaring, “We will be back at a later date to continue this conversation.”

She stalked out the door, Jones shoving his gun back onto his belt and following sulkily behind her. As soon as she had gotten into her car and driven off, the hero sagged into the couch and let out a loud sigh. “Welp.”

Tails flew out of the room immediately afterwards, whispering a quick “Wait there and chill for a second I’ll be right back” before he exited. Once he returned, the fox crawled around on the couch next to Sonic before letting out an “Aha!” and holding up what appeared to be a tiny piece of metal.

“It’s a shame to have to do this, but…” he muttered, before vanishing with it. A couple minutes later, a very loud noise boomed from Tails’s workshop and made Sonic panic before blasting in there at top speed.

“What was that?!” he shrieked.

“Just destroying this camera that human agent left in our couch.” the engineer replied lightly.

“Wait- what??” Sonic gasped. “He did what?”

“I thought they’d be crazy to leave without planting one, so I checked the camera feed, and it was pretty obvious! He must be a new recruit.”

“Wait- you have a camera? In our living room?” the hero asked, feeling slightly creeped out.

Tails shrugged. “Well, I didn’t until recently, but I figured that G.U.N. would have to show up at our place eventually, so yeah.”

They both stayed there in silence for a minute, before making their way back down to the main house.

“Well, what do we do now?” Tails wondered.

“I dunno- you’re the smart guy, pal.” Sonic replied quickly. “I just don’t want to have to escape from them! I like running, but not away from people. Especially bad people.”

“Well...does it count as running if we’re hanging out with Knuckles?” the fox suggested hopefully.

Sonic sighed. “I guess not...it’d be cool with him, too, since Angel Island is a pretty safe place and all. I still hate the idea of hiding from them, though.”

“Maybe you won’t have to!” Tails said, trying to be cheerful. “After all, I don’t think people will buy it if G.U.N. says you’re a...traitor…” He trailed off, remembering a particularly eventful moment from their past.

“Yyyeah.” the hedgehog said dryly, having thought of the same thing. “That’s exactly why I didn’t have to ride through the streets of Central City on a piece of helicopter.”

“Let’s not think about that for now though, okay?” Sonic asked. “ I don’t like the idea of being scared all the time.”

Tails nodded in agreement. “Besides, we’ve handled them before! We can cross that bridge when we come to it anyway.”

Sonic grinned. “How about we watch some TV for now, take our minds off things?”

“Sure! But I’m definitely gonna tell Omega- or whoever calls us next- about this. They deserve to know.” the fox answered.

“Okay…” the blue blur said. He felt a little guilty that he could just turn on a movie and forget about G.U.N. for a while- Team Dark didn’t have that luxury. Quickly, though, he added, “Anything on there you’ve been dying to watch?”

Tails smiled happily, and Sonic decided that this was totally worth it. “Well, there is this one documentary…”

#scars you can't see #sycs #team dark #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #*eggman voice* it's time for a change of pace!#i had to look up sonic characterization posts right before the final edit #i want to write him well!!#btw just to clarify #gun received word about the second heist directly after the end of chapter 4 #i can't believe we're at chapter 5 already!#wow #sol’s fanfiction

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liskantope · 4 years ago

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Hopefully this will be my last-ever post complaining about what someone said on social media, because current events are simmering down and once they’ve reached a moderate enough hum I’m going to redouble my previous efforts to stay away from it. But the particular interaction I’m going to describe seems to have furthered my progress slightly in understanding why so many people shout their views in the way that they do and how I should learn to better accept it.

One of my “closest” Facebook friends for over a decade, whose life’s passion nowadays revolves around anti-racist work (mainly in childhood education; she is white) posted a few hours after Biden’s victory was officially called last Saturday to preach that white Biden-voters shouldn’t claim any of the credit for his victory because it was BIPOC and particularly black women who carried this election (her justification for why they “carried us” was that as a demographic group most of them voted for Biden while as a demographic group a majority of white people voted for Trump), and that nothing will be better now except for who is in the White House because “whiteness and white supremacy have not disappeared” and that “your” responsibility is not diminished and “you” are not absolved as a good white person. She ended with an exhortation to bow down and “bend your knees” to BIPOC for “saving our asses”.

(Just realized looking back at her post to write this one that the phrasing was not “bend the knee” as I repeatedly misread at the time, assuming that it was a direct reference to Game of Thrones of which I know she’s a fan, and having recently listened to this insightful 8-minute Sam Harris podcast episode which used the phrase. This is slightly unfortunate since it was the obnoxiousness of that particular phrasing which tipped me over to acting against my better judgment in not just ignoring this like I have with so many dozens of other statements. I still find it obnoxious, though, and sanctimonious, and terrible messaging, and using poor arguments about causation, and reflecting an insistence on viewing as much as possible in terms of race at all times, and the epitome of identity politics.)

So yeah, after waiting a couple of days, I broke my usual silence and wrote a very polite but argumentative response that turned out to be enough paragraphs to make me feel a little embarrassed that I would take that much of my time on it. I knew there was virtually no chance of convincing her of anything substantial, but I figured just maybe some insight into how foreign and alienating this “you are responsible for what everyone of your color does and are never good enough and have to kneel in deference to those of a color which is” messaging is bound to be to anyone who’s less in an academic bubble than we are (which is, like, most people). I made the point that individual BIPOC didn’t contribute any more than individual white people did to Biden’s victory and that if we’re going to judge blocs of voters according to race we should be blaming Cuban-Americans for Biden’s loss in Florida, and that in fact Trump gained votes from among BIPOC and lost white male votes since four years ago. I wrote that implying that the only salient feature of us individuals is race is exactly what people complain about when they use the term “identity politics” and that the results of this election suggest that maybe we’re doing something wrong with our messaging.

It wasn’t a disaster. I got a very cordial response which completely avoided ad hominem and at least engaged the points I had made while clarifying her views. I didn’t find the supposed rebuttals of my points at all convincing, of course. For instance, my complaint about treating individual voters as merely people of a certain color was met with “It’s important in anti-racist scholarship to be able to analyze demographic trends in terms of race” (I would... never disagree with this?) and that focusing on individuals allows people to only look at their own actions and those of their friends and feel too good about themselves. She also expressed skepticism about my statistics about where Trump gained/lost support, which I was able to back up with a quick Google search which pulled up a Vox article among others (I thought it was only the insufficiently committed white liberals like me who sucked at Googling?). But her own views, while still resting on axioms I fundamentally differ on, just sounded a lot more reasonable when restated? E.g. “Moments like this shouldn’t be centered on whiteness” and “the ‘good white liberals’ should be aware that they aren’t as a big of a demographic in our race as they should be” (I don’t know any white liberal who would disagree or who doesn’t realize that white people vote majority Republican or is okay with that?) and that the bowing and bending the knee was not “a literal statement” but simply meant to convey that we should greatly respect how BIPOC voters contribute. She ended with providing a long list of anti-racist activists (the only one of whom I’m familiar with is Ally Henny, who I mainly remember for statements about how I’m encased in so many layers of racism that I would never be able to peel them off if I spent my whole lifetime doing nothing but trying) as a “starting point” of study.

I replied thanking her for pointing me to sources and agreeing with her implication that I should read more with a mind towards understanding what they’re saying before spouting off any more opinions. (Guess I have to make good on that promise now.) I made clear that I see a difference between her restatements and the way she worded things in her original post and suggested that some of this might even be on me for interpreting these kinds of posts more as logical arguments when they should be understood in a slightly more poetic manner. I gently gestured towards my suspicion that the current scholarship in this area might reflect a university culture (which I am very much a part of) more than the concrete priorities and concerns of the majority of people of color, although I’m in no position to positively claim anything about this. I got no response.

Anyway, in writing my last response, a little more clicked into place for me about a different lens through which I should process all the behavior that drives me nuts in a written context online (I mainly mean social media but am being even broader than that). This is going to sound condescending but ironically it might help me to have a less condescending attitude?

The fact is -- and I just have to accept this -- that making efforts to be nuanced and to “meet people who disagree where they are at” and to aim for the truth but no farther than the truth are simply not highly-valued principles for most people (social media -users and otherwise). They may kinda-sorta agree in the abstract with these principles, but in practice they hold a much lower status than the principles of conveying anger and strong words as a sign of commitment towards Fighting Evil. Some people I know do have an “argumentation value system” closer to mine, and I know who those people are -- it really shows in what they write online. But those people are a fairly small minority.

And this alien “argumentation value system” isn’t something that really shows in casual real-life interactions very plainly at all (which of course is what almost all human interactions were up until 10-15 years ago), while in contrast social media is an environment that augments its effect.

The sooner I accept this, the more moderation I’ll be able to manage in my negative reactions. I can remind myself that there’s less fundamental disagreement on most actual issues between me and the people I know: we instead disagree on a sort of meta-level issue of how one’s views should be presented. And that issue, taken by itself, seems somehow like something more minor. I wrote a few months ago about how knowing what so many people in my life write publicly oftentimes interferes with my capacity to view them as potential intimate friends/partners. Maybe I can be a little more accepting when I recognize that the things they write which turn me off perhaps don’t come from a place of such irrationality as I thought, that the differences in our ways of thinking might not be quite so fundamental (although this differing system of values for argumentation still strikes me as something that could badly affect a marriage, say). And in the practical short term, I can ignore things that bother me more easily in the future -- instead of feeling like I’m on a tilted playing field where everyone else gets to vent without inhibition while I have to carefully monitor and qualify everything I say, I can try to just round a lot of this off in terms of different preferred writing styles and somehow that bothers me less?

A similar underlying principle holds for the things that annoy me on dating profiles, what with the collective obsession with dogs and boasts of being “fluent in sarcasm” and so on. This probably doesn’t reflect much about the way the creators of these profiles actually are as humans in real life. Not that many single women really view their dogs as the most interesting thing that ever was or will be about their lives. They just choose to have a certain style of exposition about themselves because of peculiarities of the environment of online dating sites/apps, where showing enthusiasm and individuality in some way seems to pay and the topic of dogs would seem like a pretty safe place to direct this performed enthusiasm. Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t demonstrate some aspect of incompatibility with me or that I’m not going to be more instantly attracted to those with profiles that have more refreshing things to say than stuff about how amazing dogs are or of those who *gasp* actually prefer cats or *deeper gasp* prefer not to have pets at all. But it means that I can read the dogs-and-sarcasm-enthusiast profiles a little more charitably maybe?

This slightly altered mindset is a far from perfect solution, but I think it helps. A lasting three-quarters-of-the-way disconnect from social media entirely still needs to be a goal at this point.

#Social media #better decision 2020 #social justice #online dating #pets

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rachelkaser · 4 years ago

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Stay Golden Sunday: Job Hunting

Rose loses her job at the grief center and faces ageism when she searches for a new one. Blanche tries to lose three pounds.

Picture It...

Blanche is cutting vegetables while singing “Sleep, Kentucky Babe.” Sophia comes in (not wearing her glasses, for some reason) and is upset to see there’s no pepperoni in the fridge. She rejects both Blanche’s offer of celery stuffed with cottage cheese and Dorothy’s offer of chicken, as both repeat on her. Blanche, meanwhile, is trying to lose three extra pounds she’s gained.

Rose comes in, distraught (Sophia is, once again, indifferent), and tells the Girls that they’ve closed her grief counseling center. Blanche and Dorothy are immediately concerned that Rose has lost her job, but Rose is more worried about the fact that her former patients won’t have anyone to counsel them anymore. She says she plans to help them find other places to go, and then she’ll focus on finding a job. Dorothy is skeptical.

ROSE: I’m dependable, friendly, loyal, eager. *leaves the kitchen* DOROTHY: That’s great. If she learns to catch a frisbee in her teeth, she can get work as a Golden Retriever.

Later, Dorothy goes out to the lanai to read, and finds a strange man sitting there. He introduces himself as Milton, and Rose arrives to say that Milton is one of her former patients from the center, and even tells Dorothy his whole life story right in front of him. She sends him off and tells him to call her anytime, day or night -- the last three words sending Dorothy into a panic.

Dorothy confronts Rose about her job hunt and Rose says she hasn’t started looking, too preoccupied with helping the center’s patients. Sophia passes her phone messages from the patients and Dorothy gets one from an old high school acquaintance she had a crush on named Barry Glick. He’s visiting Miami and wants to get together, which sends Dorothy over the moon. Rose is drowning in her patients’ despair off to the side.

BLANCHE: I hate phone calls in the middle of the night! Now I’ll never get back to sleep. I’m as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo. DOROTHY: Boy, that’s … pretty jumpy.

Dorothy bangs on Rose’s door that night to wake her, as Milton is calling in the wee hours. Blanche and Dorothy, irritated, retreat to the living room, where Sophia is sitting in the dark, and grouse about the situation -- Blanche has already lost one pound and doesn’t want to eat her insomnia, while Dorothy wants to look good for Barry. They decide to confront Rose, and sit her down when she comes out and tell her she needs to focus on finding a job. Rose tearfully confesses she has been trying to find one, but she’s been rejected after several interviews for her age. Distraught, she runs to her room and slams the door.

Dorothy and Blanche follow Rose to her room to talk to her about the situation. Dorothy tells her she’s recovered from a major life change once, after her husband died and left her as a housewife with no work experience. Rose says she’s older now, and Dorothy offers to help her figure out what she’s doing wrong in the interviews. Rose says she’s got one in the morning for a Hospital Administrator job, and Dorothy reviews her resume -- which stinks. She and Blanche find ways to pad the resume out, giving Rose some more confidence. Unable to fall back asleep, all three go to the kitchen for a snack.

BLANCHE: Oh I can’t fall asleep now. DOROTHY: Still at the rodeo, Blanche? ROSE: I can’t sleep either. Why don’t I make us all some warm milk? After I drink milk, I go right to sleep. BLANCHE: I can think of something else after which I go right to sleep. Huh, Dorothy? DOROTHY: … during.

In the kitchen, they somehow justify getting a three-course meal on the table, including our very first shared cheesecake (and Sophia’s precious pepperoni). Dorothy talks about her date with Barry, and how she wanted him to be her first lover. This leads into a lengthy discussion about their first lovers -- Stan was Dorothy’s, Charlie was Rose’s, and Someone-Whose-Name-Starts-With-B was Blanche’s. Rose’s first time was her wedding night, and she was appalled because she’d never seen a naked man before. Stan convinced Dorothy he was being shipped to Korea and “it would mean so much” and nine months later she gave birth. Rose not-so-subtly hints it took years for her to orgasm during sex, and Blanche is completely baffled, as her Southern heat gave her urges. The Girls transition from a full dinner to a full breakfast.

The next day, Blanche flirts with Milton on the lanai. He tells her to abandon her diet and they agree to a date later. Sophia comes out on the lanai, followed shortly by Dorothy, who says her date with Barry went very well. Blanche wants to know if he lives up to her high school fantasies, but Dorothy replies in the negative: Barry is gay. Sophia claims she’s always known that. Dorothy says at least no other woman can have him either.

SOPHIA: *about Milton* I thought he belonged to the other one. BLANCHE: Well I’m sure Rose won’t mind one bit. SOPHIA: He’s a man. It’s not like sharing a yogurt.

Rose joins them, all smiles. She didn’t get the hospital admin job, but she did find a job when she was out for a float after her failed interview: She’s now a waitress at a coffee shop. It’s not the job Blanche and Dorothy wanted for her, but at least she’ll be working and earning money. They congratulate her. Blanche asks Rose about Milton, and Rose says he’s just her client -- she could never date him, as he’s only interested in fat woman. The episode ends on Blanche’s furious face.

“Hell, if I’m gonna have cookies, I’m gonna have cheesecake!”

Usually, I’m on board with a Golden Girls Very Special Episode when it tackles relevant issues, but something about this episode -- ostensibly one about ageism in the job market -- just doesn’t land particularly well. I didn’t really love it as a child, and I don’t really love it as an adult, but I think it’s for entirely different reasons. I suspect there was some behind-the-scenes drama about this episode I haven’t been able to fully investigate, but suffice to say this episode is a throwback to the beginning of the season, when the show was much less certain of itself. That said, it’s saved from two-slice infamy by some very good lines and gags.

BLANCHE: You probably haven’t noticed it, but I’ve put on three pounds. SOPHIA: On each side.

I’m still not sure why I didn’t like it as a kid -- I think the fact that Sophia, who was my favorite, is in so little of the episode was part of it. Sophia’s role in this episode is basically to make weird remarks and hover on the periphery -- literally in the case of the living room and lanai scenes -- of the episode and make the occasional bon mot. She’s not in the extended kitchen scene where the Girls eat their way through a three-course meal (we’ll get back to that scene in a minute), so I think I was puzzled why this episode forgot about her.

As an adult, I can pinpoint a few more concrete reasons I’m not in love. Keep in mind I’m biased, as I was recently laid off and back on the job market, but I suspect that Rose’s problem might not be ageism. I’m not trying to be mean here, but the problem might be that Rose is trying to find a job with a community college degree and a 32-year gap in work history, and the fact that the episode doesn’t really seem to understand that is a little disconcerting.

ROSE: They closed the center. BLANCHE: Not your grief counseling center? DOROTHY: No, the Kennedy Space Center. She wanted to be the first Lutheran on the Moon.

I don’t plan to fully talk about the episode before the official SGS, but I think it’s necessary to fully give context here: Rose will get another episode based around age discrimination in the job market in Season 5 called “Rose Fights Back.” Suffice to say I think it’s much better than this one, because at least in that episode it makes it clear that the only reason Rose is having problems is because of people’s reaction to her age. But this episode is much less clear, and in fact, based on the one job we see Rose actually applying for, I think she may be aiming a little high here.

To be clear, you can do alright with a Home-Ec degree and business training. There are a lot of jobs you can reasonably get with those qualifications. “Hospital Administrator” isn’t one of them, and Dorothy’s attempts to fluff up Rose’s resume don’t do anything but draw attention to the huge gaps in her work history. “32 years with the same employer?” There is not an interviewer in the world who won’t ask which employer that is, and who is Rose supposed to say? Her husband?

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I know I wasn’t alive in the 80s, but I refuse to believe it was so alien a time that someone with Rose’s qualifications would be able to get that job. Heck, if she lived in the modern day, getting a job at the Fountain Rock coffee shop would be a coup.

There are also a few continuity errors in this episode: For starters, Charlie goes from having died 15 years ago to 5 years ago. Rose will later get be a grief counselor with no explanation. I guess it’s possible that she could have gotten another job in the same field, but it’s still jarring that she’s a waitress for all of five minutes.

DOROTHY: I am so glad that my date with Barry is tomorrow. The fat won’t have time to show. ROSE: It won’t? DOROTHY: No, it always takes a few days before it shows. ROSE: Where does it go in the meantime? DOROTHY: To Connecticut! How do I know where it goes? BLANCHE: With me, the minute it goes in my mouth, I balloon up. I can go out to dinner, and in the middle of the meal, my pants are cutting off my circulation so bad my feet are turning blue.

I don’t want to be a Negative Nancy, so I’ll add that everything in this episode is saved by the excellent jokes and lines. Some of the most iconic lines and exchanges happen in this episode, so it’s memorable for that reason alone. The best parts are probably Blanche’s enraged reaction faces, as seen in the image at the top. Also, when I discovered that this was actually the second episode filmed, that explained an awful lot -- for example, why this episode doesn’t balance all four actresses well, why the writing doesn’t feel as concise, and all the continuity errors. Even the way the episode looks makes sense after learning that little tidbit.

As much as I like that scene in the kitchen where the Girls talk about their romantic history -- and also eat their first cheesecake together! -- it really has very little to do with the rest of the episode, and it takes up quite a chunk of time. I guess that’s why I don’t consider this a Very Special Episode: The tone is just a bit too inconsistent. Five minutes after Rose is lamenting that she can’t find a job because of her age, and she’s talking about how it took her five years to have an orgasm with her husband. A different kind of tragedy, to be sure.

BLANCHE: You know, in the South, we mature faster. I think it’s the heat. DOROTHY: I think it’s the gin.

I can’t be certain, but I think there was some behind-the-scenes drama with director Paul Bogart, who was fired shortly after this episode was shot. I can only find a couple of references to this episode in Golden Girls Forever, one of which calls it “troubled.” Don’t take my word as gospel, but it’s what I suspect happened. Bogart was liked by Rue McClanahan and Bea Arthur, but didn’t direct Rose’s character very well, according to Betty White. He wanted her to yell and scream during her big moment, which wasn’t very Rose, but she tried until Jay Sandrich, director of the pilot, took her aside and told her to do it how she felt comfortable. Bogart apparently told the staff (including the writers): “Just give me the show in the beginning of the week, and by the end of the week, you’ll have an Emmy winner.” That boast did not go over well, especially since he didn’t really include the writers or the hands-on producers, and he only directed four episodes.

One last thing: The kitchen scene in this episode was expanded and adapted for the 1988 Royal Variety Performance. In adapting this, they got smart and gave Estelle Getty lines to say. Not only do you get to hear Sophia tell the very posh emcee, “Let’s find a pub and get drunk,” you also get to hear Blanche make her usual joke about watching the changing of the guard. I’ve heard it was the Queen Mother who requested them, as she was a fan. Not only can you see her meeting the Girls backstage, but Sophia even references her when leaving the stage: “Hey, just because you’re over 80 doesn’t mean you can’t go out on the town at night. Just ask that fine-looking lady up there in the expensive seats.”

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Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

Sophia’s line, which I’ve quoted more times than I can count:

DOROTHY: Ma, would you get Rose some water? SOPHIA: What is she gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here?”

#golden girls #stay golden #rose nylund #blanche devereaux #dorothy zbornak #sophia petrillo #stay golden sunday #s01e22 #picture it #job hunting

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himbowelsh · 4 years ago

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so i lost the ask requesting it, because i'm a *jazzhands* dumbass but here's the Valentine’s Alphabet for Skinny Sisk!

valentines day alphabet ( no longer accepting )

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

Skinny’s there for people, all the time. He’s a support when they need him; his affection is dependable and steady, a hand to help others up or a clap on the back when they need reassurance. He can be physically affectionate, but Skinny’s love language is really just being present --- quality time, feeling comfortable around others, and being there for them when they need someone. He’s a great listener, and doesn’t mind serving as a soundingboard for others’ frustrations (even if his advice gets a little sarcastic at times).

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

He loves to bring them for first dates; has the audacity to genuinely pick a few flowers from someone’s garden on the way there, and brings a ribbon along in his pocket to tie them together. It’d literally be easier to go out and buy a bouquet. He likes the challenge. Honestly, he’s not much of a flower guy, but finds a certain tranquility in fields of wildflowers and overgrown gardens --- he likes the unruly peace of it all.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Oh god, he’s got a weakness. If a friend has chocolate, he’ll bug the hell out of them until they share. He gets cravings, and literally has to go out and track down chocolate, no matter the cost. Skinny’s a chocolate fiend.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He gets really creative about his dates! Skinny dislikes “dinner and a movie” on principle --- what’s the point going out at all if they’re just going to be boring? He always “knows a spot”, and those spots are usually impressive. He’s taken dates on rooftop picnics, to amusement parks, to concerts... while he tries not to spend money he doesn’t have, he’s always willing to put himself out of pocket for a date. He doesn’t have an “ideal date”, really, just something fun.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Alarmingly good at sneak hugs. Like... better than he should be. Has a talent for scaring the hell out of people by hugging them without warning; no one ever sees him coming. Other than that, he's an incredible hugger. He’s managed to make people stop crying with a single hug; he’s got the warmth and the fortitude, and doesn’t mind lending it to anyone who needs a little extra. Everybody wants to be hugged by Skinny. Everyone needs it at least once in their lives.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

He’s an excellent flirt, and kind of incorrigible. If someone pretty is in the vicinity, Skinny’s right there, batting his striking eyes and offering to buy them a drink. He’s casually charming and likes to talk himself up to sound impressive; flirting comes naturally to him. He’s got a gift.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He’s a very low-effort gift giver, no matter the person. That said, he’s got a knack for knowing what people want. Webster has yet to run out of notebooks, because Skinny always knows when he needs one (sure, he picked it up at the convenience store while getting cigarettes, but it still counts); Liebgott got an Applebees free meal voucher, and was thrilled. He might not try hard, but Skinny usually hits the mark.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He doesn’t give it away freely, and is very cautious whenever he chooses to. Friendships are so much easier than romantic relationships for Skinny, because he knows where he stands. He’s got lots of friends he loves dearly, but when it comes to falling in love... he’s not sure he knows how to do that.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Very hard to say. He’d be shocked at himself for thinking it, the first time, and would keep it to himself for a long while; gradually the thought starts recurring, popping up at inopportune moments. When he finally blurts it out, it’ll probably be by accident. His eyes will go wide, mouth hanging open in shock for a moment, before he forces an awkward laugh and tries to move past it. He did not mean to say that, and the last thing he wants is to take his partner off guard.

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Not really. He’s so chill, man --- his partner could grab someone else and kiss them in front of him, and Skinny wouldn’t even be offended. He’d just take it as a challenge.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

He’s very confident, and very impressive; Skinny knows he’s got a talent, but still approaches each kiss like he’s got something to prove. He likes to hold his partner by their waist, anchoring them while their mouths find a rhythm against each others; gradually, they’ll settle into something more intense, and Skinny will put his tongue to work. First he teases, then he explores; he’s very in tune with his partner, so he knows immediately when they don’t like something, and pulls another trick out his sleeve. Really likes flavored chapstick.

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

He’s got a very close relationship to his family, and is very grateful for it; Skinny would do anything for his siblings, and especially his mother. He also cares deeply for his friends, however exhausting they can be at times, and they all hold very significant places in his heart.

M : MOONLIGHT. is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Oddly enough, he’s an afternoon guy. Like, late afternoon, when the sun is just starting to go down and the sky is a bright canvas of oranges and yellows, slowly fading to purple... something about the ambiance speaks to him, and often gets him in the mood.

N : NAUGHTY. what is your muse like in bed?

Very versatile. He can do it quickly, or take it slow; he’s good at adjusting himself to his partner’s needs, and definitely isn’t picky about location. He loves to be ridden by his partner, his hands around their hips, and has a thing for clothed sex; he loves loud partners. Though usually silent in bed, he can occasionally be made to make some incredible sounds, drawing a blush to his face despite the heat of the moment. He’s not into rough sex; Skinny prefers to be gentle, and is frankly turned off by the idea of hurting his partner. Very willing to let his partner take the reins.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words?

Not really. He’s not highly-educated, and has never been a big reader, so Skinny’s plainspoken. He doesn’t flower up his words, but also doesn’t bullshit people. When he says something, he means it.

P : PARTNER. what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Skinny’s not on the market for a serious relationship (if it happens, it happens, but he tends to go into relationships looking for casual flings). He wants someone he can have fun with. Someone with a good sense of humor, a bit of an adventurous side, who’s flexible (in more ways than one). He’d do best with a grounding influence, someone he can depend on; he needs a listener, who gives good advice, because he doesn’t realize how often he could use it. He doesn’t care what sort of animals they love, so long as they love animals.

Q : QUESTION. would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

(read: WEDDING first) Again, marriage isn’t something he’s ever felt inclined to, and he’s intimidated by the prospect of that commitment. He... probably wouldn’t ask first. If his partner asked, he’d definitely be stunned, but depending on where Skinny is in life/in the relationship at the time, he might say yes. It’s... something that really can’t be sprung on him.

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He can be unexpectedly romantic in casual relationships --- he’ll plan special dates or get surprise gifts for his partner, just to keep things interesting. Not really cynical, because he’s never had a reason to be.

S : SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

A pair of twin girls down the street were absolutely in love with him for a few months, when he was barely out of elementary school. Skinny, like any sensible ten year old boy, was horrified. He avoided them very effectively (at one point, climbing a tree and scaling the branches back to his house to get in through an upstairs window) for an entire summer.

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

He believes in lots of kinds of love --- in lots of different positions --- but “true love” kind of goes over his head. He’s never really seen proof of it, so his skepticism wins out. What does it look like? What does it feel like? He doesn’t know.

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

Not really. He tries to avoid serious romantic relationships, specifically to avoid them getting messy.

V : VALENTINE. how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

He’s really never given much thought to it. Like, negative amounts of thought. A few girlfriends have been really into it, so he’s made sure to set up some nice dates. He get’s creative about it too --- the romantic canoe ride was definitely a mistake --- but as far as personal feelings go, to Skinny V-Day is like any other day.

W : WEDDING. would your muse get married? why / why not?

He genuinely doesn’t know --- maybe when he’s older, or if he meets the right person, but he’s never felt inclined in that direction. Marriage is a big commitment, and he’s kind of daunted.

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Sure. Prolifically. He’s kind of careless with them, throwing out a “baby” or “sweetheart” casually, often in public; usually his friends just smirk to themselves and don’t call him out on it.

Y : YOURS. does your muse get protective easily?

He’s very lowkey about it; Skinny is not the type to get up in anybody’s face, and he’s not going to get involved in a fight without anyone to back him up and slim chances of winning. He prefers to diffuse situations carefully, like disabling a bomb. Because he’s nonconfrontational, he focuses all his attention on other people in tense situations, observing what they do and where best to step in and hopefully neutralize the situation. But yeah --- he does not like to see his loved ones in danger. When they need him, he’s right there.

Z : ZZZ. how many people has your muse slept with?

... do you really want to know? (Approximately 17. No, he’s not bragging.)

#skinny sisk #headcanons #i'm just thinking of that one quote where skinny was on freaking traintracks with a girl #and when sobel caught him he just said 'the train was coming she was coming and so was i'#skinny sisk ladies and gents

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princessromania13 · 4 years ago

Text

Coffee, Words and Fists

Characters: Roman, Virgil, Janus, Patton, Logan, Remus

Trigger warnings: a fair amount of abuse, toxic relationship, negligent parenting, some incredibly low self esteem, forced starvation

Ships: toxic Prinxiety, not romantic Princeit

Summary: Roman loves his chemically imbalanced Romance, but does Virgil love him back? Also Janus is a pretty important character.

AO3 Link

Roman was sitting alone in his room. He was practically praying that Virgil wouldn't come into his room tonight. Of course, when the two began, all was well. They still argued but that was just par for the course for the embodiments of Anxiety and Creativity, but hey, they usually made up afterwards. Usually. But as Virgil became more and more part of the group, Roman found himself being pushed further out. This did nothing to help his already low self-esteem, but he held a brave face. The others didn't need to deal with his issues on top of everything else. Virgil, however, grew more confident as the weeks turned to months. He shared his thoughts more and the others would stand up for him if Roman dared call him any sort of nickname. So it seemed Virgil had noticed, though it was hard not to, and began giving Roman the exact same treatment the creative side gave him pre-accepting anxiety. The nicknames, the lot. It started off small enough, nothing Roman couldn't handle, but things never stay small when this was the way things were headed with the sides. Roman still loved the anxious side, his little smirk when he heard a pun, the way he blushed when Roman flirted with him, all those little things. So of course he could handle it, right? Right. He was a prince, after all. Princes handled far worse than a few nicknames. He thought over this as he cuddled his stuffed Simba plushie close to his chest. Then he heard the dreaded sound of the door opening. He quickly put the toy onto his pillow as he made eye contact with the smirking side who now stood in his room.

"Really, Ro? A toy? Woulda thought you're too old for that shit." Virgil chuckled, closing the door behind him. "I-Simba's special, Virge. He was a birthday gift from Patton, you know that." the prince replied, almost stumbling over his words. His heart was pounding. "Yeah, I know. Just teasing, geeze, Princey." that nickname again. Princey. Why was it always Princey, and in such a mocking tone? Roman chuckled, though there was no joy to the sound. "I guess. So, uh, what brings you to- to my room, of all places?" he asked. Virgil flopped onto the large four-poster bed. "Aren't I allowed to say hi to you? You're such a jerk." he said in a tone that he couldn't tell if it was serious or joking. "Of course, love, I'm sorry. I would have gone to see you tonight, honest, I'm just in a bit of a state. You know, after that whole ordeal with Janus. It has me in a bit of a certain way, you understand?" he explained, reaching for his Simba once more. "You'd better not be interested in him, Roman." Virgil said, his tone soft and menacing. "No, I would never. You're the only one I could ever want." he replied, hoping that was what he wanted to hear. Virgil was silent for a moment. "I should think so." he said. Before Roman could object, the man snatched his Simba out of his arms. "If I see anything that suggests you might be second-guessing us, you're not gonna see this again, you hear?" he said, the lion held in a firm grip. That 'toy' was one of his most prized posessions. He gulped. "Y-yes, love." he said, his voice shaking noticeably. "Good. Sweet dreams, Princey." Virgil said, walking out of the room. Roman nodded, but knew he wouldn't be having any of the sort tonight.

He curled into a small ball on his large bed and, despite his attempts, could not stop the onslaught of sobs that racked his body. Those sobs quickly escalated, and this time there was no Simba to help him calm down. He buried his face in his pillows to attempt to hide his pitiful weeping, but it did little. He barely heard the sound of his door opening once more. Although this time, he could tell it wasn't Virgil. Virgil would have made a snarky comment on his sobbing. Instead, it was the voice of Patton. "Are you alright, kiddo?" he asked, walking over. Roman lifted his teary face out of the pillows. "Virge took my Simba." he managed to choke out. The father figure simply tutted. "Come on, Ro, that's nothing to be so upset about! After all, it's only a toy!" he said, pulling the creative side into an embrace. Simba wasn't only a toy, why could no one see that? Roman could do nothing but cry into Patton's shoulder. Maybe the father figure was right, it probably wasn't something to get so worked up about. He shouldn't get so upset over his simba. It was just silly and childish to get upset about a toy, even if that toy was pretty much the only thing that got him to sleep at night anymore. He pulled away from his father figure and rubbed the tears away from his now-red and puffy eyes. Patton gave him a smile. "Better?" he asked. "Better." the prince lied. "Goodo, well I've got some cookies in the oven so I'll catch ya later! Sleep well, kiddo!" the father figure beamed as he left the room. Roman felt the tears welling up in his eyes again. Darn it, why couldn't he just get over a damn Simba toy? He heard another set of footsteps in his room. Who was it this time, and why couldn't they just leave him alone? "You are aware, yes, that you are allowed to feel negative emotions about things you care about being taken away from you?" a familiar, smooth voice came. Janus. "Oh. I'm fine, you know." Roman replied, rubbing the stubborn tears out of his eyes. "Please, I am the literal embodiment of deception. You can't lie to me." the reptilian side stated softly, taking a seat on the bed. "I told you, I'm fine. If I wasn't I would be with Virge." he said firmly. Janus sighed. "Are you certain?" he asked skeptically. "Positively." the prince replied. Janus stood up once more. "Well then, I guess I can't force you to tell what's wrong. I won't be back, Roman." he said, sinking out. Roman grabbed a pillow and hugged it tight. It wasn't his Simba but it would have to do for now. He buried his face in it and fell into a restless sleep, waking up every so often thanks to the nightmares that now plagued him.

When dawn finally arose, he was thankful to get out of bed. He decided to wander down to the kitchen to find a snack. Patton had said he was baking cookies last night, where would those be? He pondered this as he wandered down the stairs. He entered the kitchen and quickly spotted the cookie jar on top of the cabinet. Being one of the shorter sides, he did have to use a step-stool to reach them but it was a small sacrifice to make for his delicious treasures. He took the lid off and relished in the heavenly scent for a moment before grabbing one of the treats and munching on it. If there was one thing Patton was good at, it was baking. He finished off his first cookie and started on a second. A second turned into a third, which in turn led to a fourth. He was in cookie heaven. Then he heard a voice he really did not need to hear this early in the morning. "You may wanna slow your roll on those cookies, you've been packing on a few pounds recently." the deep voice of Virgil came. Roman almost jumped. "Sorry, Virge." he said, putting the cookie jar down. Was he really gaining weight? Come to think of it, his frame did look a bit bigger when he looked in the mirror. "No 'good morning'? Rude." the emo said with an eyebrow raise. "I apologise again, I'm tired." he replied. A hot liquid suddenly splashed over his face. "Wake up then, Princey." Virgil said. Roman found it hard to be sleepy any more with the scalding coffee burning his face. He attempted to ignore the sensation and wiped it with his sleeve, which didn't do much in terms of easing it. "I will do better next time." he said softly. Virgil snorted suddenly. "Talk about creative burnout-" he said, falling into a fit of laughter. Roman cautiously chuckled with him, backing out of the room. As soon as he was out of sight, he began power-walking back to his room. As he was speeding through the hallway, he bumped into someone, knocking the both of them over. That someone was Logan. "Sorry, teach." the prince muttered, picking himself up off the floor. "It is alright, Roman. Perchance watch where you are going next time." the Logan said, straightening his clothes and continuing his walk in the other direction.

Roman slowed his pace and reached his room, and stepped inside. He shut the door and headed over to his beloved writing desk. He pondered what he should write, before settling on a play. He began brainstorming ideas on what to write about, and ended up deciding on a story of a prince and his quest to find true love. He needed that sort of energy right now. As he began writing what came to mind, his room shifted to match the setting of his play. He was now in a beautiful stone castle with sturdy oak beams and elegant furnishings. Through the window, the moonlight came streaming in, and his wooden desk was illuminated by a few wax candles. He always enjoyed this sort of setting. The more he wrote, the more detailed his surroundings became until he could almost see an entire village out of his window and beyond that, a great forest. Past the forest were tall, rocky mountains in which sat the dragon-witch's tower, the place the prince was reluctantly headed to. This prince was not a fighter, he was a lover. But little did he know that was exactly what he would find, but not in the tower and not anywhere else. For the prince did not know it yet, but this dragon-witch was not a hideous monster but in fact, a handsome man with dual-coloured eyes who, much like the prince, had no desire to fight. He had merely been cast out from the village as a result of his nature. Once the prince arrived at the tower, he was indeed greeted by this stunning man who did not mean him harm. Instead, the dragon-witch invited him inside and the two discovered something richer than victory or wealth or power. They found the one thing that could bring peasants and kings alike to their knees. They found romance. True romance. A romance so powerful, neither could deny they felt it. The prince soon decided to stay with the dragon-witch, this man who took care of him. And the two would live happily, forever after. Roman smiled as he went through the story a few times, it was a fine piece. It was always nice to write something he was truly proud of. "What'cha up to, Princey?" a distinct voice came from the doorway, snapping him out of his whimsy and returning his room to its natural state. He looked up from his work and saw his lover leaning against the doorframe. "Just some writing." the prince said, his voice infuriatingly quiet. Virgil stalked over to the desk. "Mind if I take a look?" he asked. Before Roman could respond, the gothic man had picked up the script and began flicking through it, his face painfully blank. Roman wished he knew what the man was thinking, hopefully good things but more likely judgements. That was just Virgil's nature, to be skeptical and judgemental, right? Right. The man occasionally would make a small 'hm' sound as he read, but apart from that he was expressionless. And honestly, Roman would have been less afraid if Virgil responded negatively as he read. But eventually, the man finished reading and shoved the script carelessly back onto the desk. "Eugh, charming." he said distastefully before taking a seat on Roman's bed. The malice in his words reminded Roman of his facial wound and re-lit the intense pain. He gingerly touched the wound, quickly deciding to retract his hand. He should probably ask about it. "Hey, Virge? Why'd you have to throw that coffee at me?" he asked. The man in question met his eyes with confusion and anger. "I didn't throw it, Ro. You accusing me of assault or something?" He snapped. "Well no, that's not exactly what I mean-" "Are you saying I'd just hurt you for no reason?" "No no, of course not! I just-" "You are accusing me! I would never without reason, why can't you see past your own ego for five seconds? You're pegging me as the bad guy again, you always do!" "I didn't realise I was, I'm so sorry Love, I would never intentionally." "Yeah sure. You keep believing that stupid bullshit. Great, now I need a break." the emo stormed out of the room with great haste. "Wait, no, Virgil-" but it was too late. The man in question had already slammed the door behind him. Roman looked over at his script with despair. Why couldn't he do anything right? Not his writing, not loving his boyfriend, not even his own job. Virgil didn't even like his script one bit, but was that really a surprise? After all, it was just a mediocre plotline partnered with sub-par writing skills. Of course he hated it, it was completely childish and far too fantastical and whimsical and unrealistic and who said those happy endings even existed in real life? It was everything Roman was. Oh goodness, it was everything he was. Virgil must absolutely hate him, and that conversation just earlier did nothing to disprove the matter. He picked up the useless script and shuffled over to the wall that he always kept bare. It was bare for a reason, he could do with it what he wished. And what he wished to do was summon a large fireplace with a crackling fire inside. It soon materialised, large and grand, and he threw the script in, leaving it to the mercy of the vicious tongues of the flame. He watched as hours of work was reduced to ashes in mere minutes, and while it absolutely tore him up inside to do so he would not show it. He sighed and returned the blank wall to its natural blank state, then climbed into his bed. If he got to sleep, maybe he wouldn't have to see anyone today. He could almost chuckle at how much he sounded like Virgil right now. Maybe the two weren't so different. He pulled his pillow into his arms and curled around it, and squeezed his eyes shut. He lay there for a good few minutes before he felt a gentle hand, rhythmically stroking his hair. He was tired and just wanted to sleep and besides, it was relaxing. So he let it continue. Whoever it was started singing a soft lullabye in french, which confirmed his suspicions that it wasn't Virgil. But who was it then? Patton could only speak english, Logan was in the process of learning Spanish, so it couldn't be either of them, right? Unless they knew something that he didn't. Remus knew a bit of french, but this definitely wasn't his distinct nasally voice. That left Janus. But Janus wasn't the type to do such a thing, right? Of course not, the man was a villain. So who could it be? Maybe it was a product of his own imagination. Either way, the voice was deep and smooth and rich, and had a certain honey-like quality to it. It was nice to listen to, at for the first time in forever he drifted off into a peaceful and nightmare-free sleep.

When he awoke, the person was gone. He felt a pang of disappointment that the figure was not there to bring him that relief he had felt last night, but he brushed it off. He was most likely late for breakfast, and Virgil was never happy when Roman was the one who overslept. He groggily climbed out of bed and realised he had fallen asleep in his costume, which was now horrendously wrinkled and stunk like he had worn it for two days straight. Probably because he had. He pulled off the suit and threw it haphazardly toward the laundry hamper, and opened up his closet. He picked out something comfy, in this case a red t-shirt and a pair of white sweatpants, and cautiously left his room. He shuffled downstairs and into the kitchen, where he noticed the other three light sides were already sitting and eating breakfast. His spot was set with a portion of Patton's famous chocolate chip pancakes, which he gleefully sat down to. "Morning, sleepyhead!" the father figure said playfully. "Good morning, Padre." the prince responded. Virgil cleared his throat rather obviously. "Of course, a wonderful morning to you, my chemically imbalanced romance," Roman added with a bit of a smile. He was in a good mood this morning. "Morning, Princey." the emo responded before returning to his breakfast. The prince picked up his fork and grabbed a mouthful of pancake. He was about to place it in his mouth when Virgil cleared his throat again, with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. He put the fork down. "Are you not hungry, Roman? I did not see you at any of yesterday's meals." Logan stated. "I probably shouldn't, teach." He responded. The teacher looked at him with skepticism. "Just eat some. I do not wish to see you get too thin." he insisted. Roman sighed and picked up the fork again. His stomach was definitely growling. He took a deep breath and lifted the food to his lips. Swallowing seemed a definite chore. "Right, that's enough, Ro! Weren't you gonna do something today?" Virgil said louder than usual. That first mouthful of pancake only made him feel more noticeably hungry. "It's just one meal." he said. He couldn't be sure if he was talking to Virgil or himself, but nonetheless he took another forkful of the delicious breakfast. Virgil had gotten up and was walking over. The man's very gaze was enough to send shivers down his spine. "Roman, stop that." He said coldly. Roman glanced to the two figures sitting across the table, but they just kept eating and not paying attention. "It'll only be this one meal today, I promise." he said, putting the second forkful in his mouth. Virgil slapped the fork just as it reached the prince's mouth, scraping across his cheek. It wasn't that bad of an injury, nothing he couldn't take. He swallowed. That was when the emo had hit the last straw. He grabbed Roman by the throat and pulled him to his feet. Virgil was surprisingly muscular. He began throwing punches at the prince without relent, repeating over and over how he had been warned and he deserved this. The prince felt tears running down his face and called feebly for the other two to do something, only to be met with more reasons as to why he deserved this. Breathing was becoming a strain and he had to stop in order to preserve air. He squeezed his eyes shut as the blows got harder and faster, when all of a sudden they stopped. Although that could have been because his senses had numbed. He could tell there was talking going on around him, but he couldn't pinpoint who was talking. The tight grip around his neck ceased and he collapsed to the floor. More talking. Then he felt something unexpected. Two pairs of arms wrapped around him gently and one hand gently stroked his hair, much like the mysterious figure from last night. He so desperately wanted to lean into the touches, but that probably wasn't a smart move.

The noise around him faded and he felt the familiar sensation of rising up. The arms were still around him, which was odd. Usually only one or two people could rise up at the same time. "You can open your eyes, Roman." that smooth as honey voice said softly. Slowly he peeked his eyes open, and noticed he was in an unfamiliar room. This room was a darker, more comfortable brightness and shifted gently around the edges. The arms wrapped around him were scaly and clad in a yellow sweater. "I don't apologise for taking you out of the mindscape but my room is safer." the voice said. The prince turned his head to see who his rescuer was, and was shocked at his discovery. The man was none other than Janus, the disney villain. Wearing a sweater with a snake on it. The villain gave a small smile. Well, it would have been smaller and softer if the man's mouth on his snake half did not reach right across his cheek. But it was a surprisingly soft gaze nonetheless. Roman sat there in that embrace for a good minute, attempting to think of something to say. "Why did you stop him?" he managed to ask. "Stop who, Virgil?" the snake asked in a curious tone. "Mmn. I deserved all of that." the prince responded. "Listen to me, Roman. That was abuse. You do not deserve abuse, and you do not deserve to see your so-called family stand idly by while you are being physically and verbally assaulted. Why did you never tell anyone?" Janus asked, his spare sixth hand raised with the thumb and pinky tucked in to show he was not lying this time. "I tried at first. It was always my fault." Roman said, his body shaking again. "I mean someone who cares, dear. Like Remus and I." "Neither of you care about me though." "Of course not, I rescued you out of pure spite." "Well Remus hates me, at least." "Remus wishes more than anything that you could be friends with him again." "He'd probably murder Virge." Roman stated. Janus chuckled. "I suppose that is true. But neither of us think ill of any of you. Well, perchance there is some spite aimed at Virgil. But my point is, we are here to help you." he said with a wide, fangy smile. The door suddenly swung open and a certain duke bounded in. His eyes drifted immediately to the prince in Janus' arms. "Roro, who tried to murder you?" he asked, launching at his twin with open arms. "No one you should worry about." Janus said softly. Remus pulled his hug back and began examining his brother for notable injuries. He scanned the face and squinted. "That's not good, you look like Jan but worse!" he noted, eyeing the burn mark. Janus cleared his throat. "Maybe do that later, Rem." he said. The duke sat back on his feet. "Oki then." he said, his stache twitching. "Now listen here, Roman." Janus said softly but firmly. "You will always be safe here."

#sanders side fic #marswrites #prinxiety #but like it sucks #someone help the prince #he deserves to be happy #but alas

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