#literally me with SF this past few months | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

championofsanghelios · 3 years

Text

Watch Dogs Legion - "M"

This was written by me, remember. So expect the usual errors, typos and word bugs (bzz.) --- [11.11.2029] [THE EARLS FORTUNE] [2044 HOURS] --- "...that's not my point!" Jackson says as he pushes the door open, his waterproof dripping wet from the rain that was lashing down outside. "You need to stop being so reckless, and actually consider the risks to yourself...as well as others."

"There's no fun in being careful!" Wrench replies, following him in. He was absolutely soaked through, but didn't seem to care. "It takes away the unpredictability...which is what I love about those Ops. Just showing up with my Lady Smash and some home made explosives...it's great!"

"That's another thing I need to talk to you about." Jackson pulls off his waterproof, draping it over one of the radiators near the wall. "There's breaking things, then there's vaporizing them..."

Connie comes out of the back room, letting out a laugh when she sees them both. "Well Well, you two took your time getting back."

"Only because this one here decided an Albion Comms Tower needed to be demolished." Jackson says, moving past her into the backroom where he locates a towel to dry his hair. "I'm yet to figure out how he wasn't caught or killed."

"You're making a name for yourself, Reggie." Connie says, moving around to the other side of the bar. "Not entirely sure if it's a good one, but...a name nonetheless."

"Yeah well, I'm just prepared to do whatever is necessary to take this city back." Wrench shrugs, gladly accepting the beer she places on the bar for him. "If that involves blowing up Albion property or smashing up Blume server stacks with my hammer, so fucking be it."

"It's dangerous." Jackson appears from the backroom, tossing the towel at him. "You better change that sweater by the way. You'll catch a chill."

"What are you my mother!?" Wrench let's out a modulated grunt, pulling up his mask slightly and downing about half of the beer he'd been handed. "Give me a break, we made it back okay!"

"And what happens if you end up getting arrested, or seriously wounded?" Jackson asks, opting for a bottle of water instead of anything alcoholic.

"Oh no." Wrench shakes his head placing his bottle down on the bars surface, his exposed mouth smirking. "There's no injuries with me. Either I get the job done, or die trying."

"You genuinely don't care if you live or die?" Jackson asks, giving him a look. "Seriously?"

"I don't have this for nothing." Wrench points at the anarchy symbol on his neck. "I don't live by rules, that includes the ones to do with life and death."

Jackson is about to say something when the door pushes open and Aiden comes in, feeling about as miserable as he looked. He was wet, but not in the same way the two of them were, something else had happened to him. "Wow! What happened to you!"

"I fell in the Thames." Aiden grumbles, shaking the water from the sleeves of his overcoat. "...actually I dove in there after some thugs caught me stalking them."

"Oh that reminds me!" Connie suddenly pipes up, her hand tapping Wrench's right forearm. "There was a bloke in here earlier on. He was asking for you."

"A bloke?" Wrench replies, questions marks lighting up his askew mask. He downs more of his beer. "Who was it?"

"No idea." Connie shakes her head, smiling. She reaches under the bar, taking out a small piece of white card paper. "But he was lovely, all charms...asked me to pass this onto you."

Wrench eyes the card for a second, opting to pull off his mask entirely. He takes a hold of it, turning it around. Someone had written a note in red-ink.

YOU NEED TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE, MAN ALSO THE WEATHER HERE IS NUTS!!! SEND ME A MESSAGE WHEN YOU GET THIS oh...and thank Connie for the free cookies. - M

He suddenly let's out a cough as he chokes on the beer he's drinking. Lifting the card up. "...motherfucker!"

"What?" Jackson stops trying to wrestle his Uncle out of his coat. "What is it?"

"I'll be right back." Wrench says, leaving his beer and his mask at the bar. He heads out into the rain, ignorant to the fact that it was making him wetter than he already was.

Taking his out his phone, he swipes up the contacts tab, scrolling down until he finds the right number. He thumbs it, his Optik lighting up and dialling.

After a tone or two, he hears a click.

"You took your time." Marcus' voice was something that he would never ever tire of hearing, especially now, especially after all of the shit he'd been through the last year or two. "I was wondering if Connie would get that to you."

"You're here." is all Wrench can say, unsure of what he should do now. Part of him wanted to jump for joy, another wanted to cry. "...you're actually here. In London."

"Yeah, I guess I couldn't just sit there in SF and let you have all the fun." Marcus chuckles. "...that little job we did together a few months back reminded me of how much I enjoyed having you around."

"Where are you right now?" Wrench asks, reaching up this face, rubbing at it. "Are you nearby?"

"Why?" Marcus asks, a smile evident in his voice. "You that desperate to see me?"

"Yes." Wrench admits it there and then. In truth there hadn't been anything he wanted to do more than see him again. "...It was the same for me. I didn't realise how much fun I used to have with you until you found me through, Jordi."

He moves over to one of the benches, sitting down on it. All around him, London was going about it's business, people were walking past, umbrellas in hand, hoods covering their heads. Looking out across Parliament Green, he sighs.

"I hear you've been having some fun outwith our little shared Op." Marcus says. "Something about killing Nigel Cass?"

"He had it coming." Wrench snorts bitterly, shaking his head. "Fuckin' maniac thought he could subvert justice and launch a coup...which reminds me, I've got to introduce you to the Dick."

"The Dick?" he hears the Hipster's confusion. "Who's that? Dusan's cousin?"

"Might as well be." the Anarchist nods, smiling to himself. "His name is Richard Malik...and he's a massive prick...but he's been useful to us."

"Wait...is that the same Richard Malik who was appointed Director of SIRS, only to be exposed literally 2 days later?" Marcus asks.

"That's the one." Wrench nods, sitting forwards. Staring at the concrete between his shoes. "I should send you the vids from when Bagley used his own FILAMENT against him."

"FILAMENT?"

"...what were his exact words?" Wrench's eyes narrow. "It's like...Nudle, but with instant access to all information about every person in the UK...basically George Orwell's wet dream."

The laugh that Marcus let's out is cathartic, such a delightfully bright noise, and one he could never get enough of. One he hoped he would hear more of soon.

It's short lived though, as a whole load of other feelings come to the surface in the pause that follows. He deflates a little. "I've missed having you around, M."

"I know." Marcus replies.

"So where are you?" Wrench asks. "Are you coming back this way? Or am I going to have to find you?"

He gets no response to those questions. His eyes narrow slightly. "M?"

Suddenly there's a movement in his peripherals, at which point a hand appears, holding his mask. He looks at it for a second, almost stunned.

"You're making a habit of leaving that thing lying around..." Marcus says, having just sat down next to him. "...am I gonna have to retrieve it for you every time you misplace it?"

Wrench doesn't move, he just sits there, frozen in place. Marcus had aged, much like himself, but not in the way he was expecting. He still looked pretty much the same as he always had, spare the scruff around his face and neck, which had turned into a full beard...and a little tinge of silver hair on his fringe.

Something shifts inside him at that moment, a tightness in his core that he wasn't even aware of unravels. A laughs bubbles out of him, one that turns to a sob half-way, and without so much as a word he puts an arm around him and pulls him into a hug, hiding his face in his shoulder.

"Huh." Marcus says, placing the mask onto his lap and closing the hug. "Of all the reactions I was ready for...this wasn't one of them."

"Shut up." Wrench says, his voice muffled by his shoulder. "Just-...Just shut up."

Marcus laughs out loud again.

. . .

#watch dogs legion #wrench #marcus holloway #wrencus #jackson pearce #aiden pearce #connie robinson #i wrote this instead of sleeping #good night zzzz

114 notes · View notes

jlalafics · 3 years

Text

"The Long Weekend"-Part One

Happy belated birthday @keelaree!

Hope you enjoy this first part. Thank you for being such a wonderful part of my writing life, and an even better friend. Can't wait till we can reunite in SF, so we can tea time together and eat soup dumplings.

Love you!

Summary: Two assistants who barely tolerate each other. One snowy cabin. One very long weekend.

Oh, and one bed.

-----

“I’m making the turn now, Haymitch,” Peeta told his boss as he navigated the icy road. “Should have everything prepped and ready by the time you and Effie arrive.”

“Thanks,” Haymitch replied over the speakerphone. “I should tell you that I did ask for someone to help you out. Someone who knows Effie better than I do sometimes—”

Peeta slowed his car as he spotted the cozy cabin in front of him. However, he grimaced seeing the red Jeep already parked on its side.

“You didn’t.”

“Peeta, Katniss knows Effie very well,” his boss said calmly. “Just like you know me. I know that you two don’t get along—”

“Understatement of the year,” Peeta replied as he parked roughly.

“This is important. I’m proposing to Effie and I want it to be perfect,” Haymitch explained. “Katniss knows all the foods she likes to eat, and how to decorate the place to make it comfortable yet romantic. Effie and I are finishing up our meeting with Mr. Snow then we’ll be making our way up to the cabin for the holiday weekend. I’ll call you when we’re on our way so you and Katniss can take off—that is if you haven’t murdered one another by then.”

“I’m only doing this because I’m your assistant,” he called out.

“You could at least like me!” Haymitch joked. “I pay you an obscene amount for an assistant.”

“Katniss probably gets paid more.”

“Well, she picks up tampons for Effie without being asked so probably.”

“Everything will be ready by the time you get here,” Peeta promised. “And I’m doing this because I like and respect you.”

“Thank you, Peeta. Call you soon.”

++++++

Peeta Mellark sighed as he stepped out of his car, bags in hand. The snowy wind picked up and he wrapped his parka tighter around himself before rushing up to the porch. It was getting worse up here, and he hoped that the soon-to-be engaged couple would make it safely.

Getting out the key that Haymitch lent him, Peeta unlocked the door and quickly stepped in to keep the cold air from entering with him.

“Oh, you’re finally here.” Katniss Everdeen sailed into the room, placing a charcuterie board on the coffee table in the center of the sitting room. “I thought you died or something.”

Peeta gave her a wry smile, placing the bags on the floor before shaking off his parka and hanging it on the hook by the door.

“Thought or hoped?” He searched his bag before pulling out the champagne that Haymitch asked along with the two glasses. Going to the table, Peeta placed them on the table before going back to the bag for the champagne bucket. “Is there ice?”

“The fridge has an ice machine,” Katniss informed him tersely, nodding her head towards the left. “I’ve already gotten their dinner started.”

“Not surprised.” Peeta walked into the kitchen, heading to the stainless-steel fridge. “You’re so anal that you’ve probably carved those little radish flowers for garnish.”

“They’re in the fridge so they’ll be fresh.”

Peeta wasn’t sure why they didn’t get along.

For one, Katniss was admittedly attractive with her long dark, and almond-shaped grey eyes. The first time he saw his stomach had definitely done a little flip. She had been walking alongside Effie, notebook in hand, wearing a fitted black dress with a peter pan collar and paying scant attention to anything else around her.

She literally knocked him to the ground.

Katniss had apologized, holding out her hand to help him up.

And Peeta had fucking tingled at her touch.

Over the next few days as he learned the ropes of being Haymitch Abernathy’s assistant, Peeta noticed her across the hall. Effie Trinket’s office was directly adjacent to his boss’ and Katniss’ desk was in the same spot as his.

She kept her head down, never acknowledging him, so wrapped up in her work or answering her phone.

So, Peeta asked around.

“She’s an ice queen,” Cato, who was in Marketing, informed him. “Never wants to hang out with anyone or even join in during happy hour. It’s important here to form relationships with everyone. Panem Industries is all about workplace harmony and Katniss embodies none of that.”

“Yeah, she’s snooty, too,” Clove from IT added. “I once asked her something about her family and she replied that it was none of my business. Like I was just trying to get to know her!”

“Wow. I guess if Katniss is that much of a head case, then I shouldn’t bother to ask her for help,” he told the two.

After that, during any interaction, she treated him indifferently…cold even. Peeta couldn’t help but be disappointed that Cato and Clove’s words were true.

And that was the end of his fascination with Katniss Everdeen.

“You want to get out here and help me or was the ice machine too hard for you to maneuver?” Katniss suddenly called out.

Peeta quickly filled the bucket and stepped out.

Katniss was bent over the couch, arranging the pillows, and he felt a heat rush through his skin.

There was also the slight twinge in his crotch at seeing a firm apple-bottom in tight ski pants.

It seemed that Katniss Everdeen had a bigger effect on him than he realized.

++++++

Peeta Mellark had a huge effect on her.

Katniss struggled to keep the heat off her cheeks as she fixed the pillows that she bought for the cabin. Effie loved those cheesy sayings, so she went on Etsy and ordered custom-made pillows with her favorite quotes.

No one should spend so much time arranging pillows, but Katniss could feel his stare on her. It made her nervous…and tingly.

However, these feelings didn’t belong—especially in a work situation and she needed this job.

Taking a breath, Katniss turned…to find Peeta right behind her.

He jumped back, startled by her abrupt movements.

Whoa—was he checking her out?

“Why were you so close?” she blurted out.

“Sorry. It looked like you were confused about how pillows worked,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “You were there for a millennium.”

“Funny.” She sighed at the amusement in his gorgeous blue eyes—stop it!—and steeled her expression. “Do you think you could help me set up this romantic dinner for our bosses instead of standing there like an ass-licker?”

“You mean asshole.”

“I stand by my words,” Katniss replied and was surprised when he chuckled, his eyes crinkling as he did. She couldn’t help but let her mouth rise. “The table is in that closet next to the door. I got some table linens from a vintage shop that Effie likes last week.”

“Wow, you’re really on top of it,” Peeta remarked, going to the closet. “How do you have time for a life?”

She didn’t.

As in, Katniss didn’t have a life.

She had work, she had a home, but a social life was non-existent. Katniss knew what everyone said about her; that she was cold and distant, never wanting to be part of the team. It never bothered her because she did have her reasons.

So, she was surprised at how hurt she was when she heard Peeta call her a headcase.

Katniss hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, only passing the breakroom to get to the copy machine. However, she stopped at the mention of her name.

Cato’s words were no surprise, though he failed to mention that her iciness was due to him inappropriately putting his arm around her and telling her that they should get to know each other on a personal level. Katniss also didn’t trust Clove for shit; she was the office gossip.

It hit hard to know that the one person who had made her tingle was so easily influenced by two douchebags.

Katniss had decided, then and there, that if Peeta didn’t see past her exterior, then he must be like the rest of them.

“I’m very organized,” she replied. It came out harder than she intended. “I have to be.”

Peeta had already set up the table in front of the fireplace.

“Well, it’s in your favor,” he told her. “You’re a good assistant.”

Katniss looked up in surprise. “You think I’m a good assistant?”

Peeta snorted. “Like you didn’t know it—where are the tablecloths?”

She handed him a beautiful fuchsia tablecloth followed by a cream lace one.

“Fuchsia first then layer it with the lace,” she told him. “I always hope I am. Effie is a great boss and she’s so supportive about work-and-homelife balance. I want to make sure this is all perfect for her.”

Katniss helped Peeta straighten the cloth, smoothing it down and making sure that there were no wrinkles. They settled into a light conversation about working with their respective bosses while setting the rest of the table. While Peeta worked on the place settings, he told her about how he admired Haymitch’s down-to-earth attitude despite being one of the most successful people in the company.

She arranged the florals in the center of the table while telling him how she had worked two jobs prior to getting this one.

“I was a waitress and housekeeper before this,” she revealed. “I was working a crazy lunch rush when I met Effie. We got to talking because she noticed how I met her coffee exactly the way she liked it despite my ragged expression—her words not mine. Effie kept on coming in, and a month after we met, she offered me the assistant job. Said she like my gumption.”

“That’s really cool,” Peeta said. He set down one of the forks he was cleaning and met her eyes. “You know, this is the first time we’ve really talked. I kind of believed you thought of me as your enemy.”

“I thought the same thing.” Katniss placed a folded napkin on the plate in front of her. “You called me a head case.”

His blue eyes widened, shocked at her words. Slowly, she could see in his eyes, the memory of his words.

“I didn’t know you heard that,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean it and I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine!” Katniss stood up abruptly. The pain of his words churned in her stomach. “I know that everyone talks about me. In my defense, Cato was completely inappropriate when we first met. I thought acting like a bitch would stave him off. Clove has no filter—”

Peeta’s brows furrowed at her sudden coldness.

“I realize that now—one year later…is that why you completely ignore me? Why you act like the sight of me makes you sick?”

“I do not!” Katniss cried out into the room. “You avoid me at all costs!”

“Because the one time that I attempted to ask you a question—you brushed me aside!” he shouted. “If you had bothered to talk to me, I wouldn’t have believed what people said in the first place—” Peeta’s phone rang, and he quickly picked up, seeing his boss’ face on his screen. “Haymitch? You on your way? What? No, I haven’t looked outside—”

Katniss rushed to one of the front windows, pulling back the curtain.

White everywhere.

She couldn’t even see her car and it was bright fucking red!

“They’re not coming.”

Turning, Katniss found Peeta putting his phone in his pocket as he approached.

“The snowstorm came unexpectedly, and the roads are blocked. They’re staying at Effie’s to wait it out while we…are stuck here until it passes.”

++++++

The good thing was that the house was fully equipped. Food was stocked in the fridge since the couple had planned to stay for the long weekend. Both he and Katniss had even brought Haymitch and Effie’s luggage so there had clothing.

“Well, dinner must be ready,” Katniss informed him with a sigh. “If you want to get more comfortable, you can probably change to something of Haymitch’s. I have a call to make before my phone dies and then I’ll pull the food out of the oven.”

Peeta nodded numbly, grabbing Haymitch's duffle and going to the opposite open door where the bedroom was. He tossed the bag on the bed—

The one bed.

Turning, he rushed out of the room to look for his female counterpart. “Katniss!” He found the sitting room empty and headed into the kitchen.

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” she spoke quietly into the phone. “Just be nice to Johanna, okay? I’ll be home soon.” Her voice sounded completely different, light and happy—even affectionate. “I love you, too. Good night.”

He knocked on the archway and she turned to him.

“We have a problem,” he told her. “There’s only one bed.”

“And the couch is really just a loveseat,” Katniss mused as she pulled the food—steak with roasted asparagus and potatoes. Her expression was pained, and she blew out a breath. “I don’t really want to think about this right now. Why don’t we just eat?”

Peeta quickly nodded in agreement, rushing to the sitting room, and grabbing their plates.

“Why don’t you let me set this up?” he told her, seeing how frazzled she seemed. “Have a seat. Open the champagne—”

Katniss laughed and the sound of her lightened the load on his chest.

“You trying to get me drunk, Mellark?”

Peeta smirked. “If it makes you like me, then yes.”

“Fine, fine…” Katniss sauntered off towards the doorway. She stopped at the archway and their eyes met. Her gaze was nervous, but he could see the warmth in her greys. “You’re not my enemy, Peeta. And…I like you more than you think.”

Katniss disappeared, but not before he spied the blush on her cheeks.

Peeta felt another twinge. This time—in his chest.

++++++

Instead of sitting at the table, Katniss grabbed Effie’s luggage, a classic Louis Vuitton that cost more than her old Jeep, and brought it to the bedroom.

The one bedroom. With the one bed.

A sudden image of herself spooned contentedly against Peeta in that very bed rose in her mind—

“Stop tripping off him!” she chided herself.

Distractedly, Katniss opened the bag, sorting for something remotely comfortable in her boss’ luggage. However, it looked like Effie was expecting some sort of kinky weekend. The only sleepwear she had was a tiny red number that Katniss would probably bust out of; Effie was a tiny but fierce woman.

Maybe she could borrow something from Haymitch’s pile—

“Katniss?”

“I’m coming!” she called out before stuffing Effie’s lingerie back into the back.

Walking back into the room, Katniss saw that Peeta had already placed the plates on the table. He stood waiting for her, looking obnoxiously handsome as he had the day they met.

That first time, she had knocked him to the ground so caught up in following with Effie’s rapid pace. When Katniss held out her hand to him, she was caught up in the open smile he gave her. Then it was the gold waves along his forehead, which Katniss desperately wanted to brush back and the blue of his eyes—they had a tinge of grey in them.

For a moment, she was just a girl, and he was just a boy. Peeta didn’t know anything about the rumors of her iciness or how someone like her, with no college degree, managed to get a position like hers.

In that moment, Katniss was pure.

“You alright?” Peeta asked, interrupting her moment down memory lane.

“Yes.” She let him help her into her seat. “I was just thinking about something.”

“Was it the one bed thing?” he joked. “I’m fine with sleeping on the floor—”

Katniss held her hand up. “Let’s be grownups. It’s a big bed and we can put a pillow between us.”

“Very to the point,” Peeta replied, holding up his champagne glass. “To being grown-ups.”

“To being grown-ups.” She clinked her glass to his and took a full gulp. The liquid bubbled through her, making her laugh. “Wow, that’s some good shit.”

Peeta guffawed. “We’re going to have some fun.”

END OF PART ONE

#Happy birthday keelaree!#The Long Weekend #Everlark #everlark fanfiction #there was only one bed

107 notes · View notes

oflgtfol · 2 years

Note

i know nothing about venom but uhhh hm. are there any bits in the comic u think are underrated or just.. anything comic specific u have opinions / thoughts on

thank u for validating me bestie <3

so i absolutely LOVE the san francisco era, particularly when they’re living in the underground city. it only lasted for a few comics but holy fuck it was so good

i talked a bit about it here but like. the SF era is very much the very beginning of venom’s anti hero arc, and as such they’re still getting used to not being the villain anymore but instead trying to move past that. if the villain era represents both eddie and the symbiote at their absolute lows, ruled by their need for revenge bc thats all that (they believe) they have left anymore in life, then the beginning of the antihero arc represents transitioning away from that unhealthy “dying man’s mindset” (as i called it earlier). it’s about coming to grips with your place in this world and that you’re still alive despite everything and having to make the best of it. it’s about moving beyond your fucked up past and trying to do what little good you can to make up for it

and the underground city is the perfect vector for that! in the wake of their villain days, eddie + the symbiote are left outcasts, unable to find a home bc nobody wants to rent to them, unable to find a job bc no one wants to hire them, and like. sure its because they made a name for themselves by continuously wreaking havoc trying to kill spiderman a beloved superhero but also its just another extension of their fundamental outcast identities. the symbiote, rejected by everyone other than eddie, and eddie, who has lost everything that made life worth living because of spiderman. and the underground residents are no different at first - they too of course dont trust venom!

but venom is not 100% bad, even at their worst. they have a very black and white morality. they believe that “good” and “evil” can be neatly sorted, that they have the ability to sort it, and that they have the right to dole out justice because of it, and that “evil” is often deserving of extreme punishment (ie, death at their hands). thats fucked up dont get mr wrong. but it also means that they’re willing to save who they deem as innocent and good. and in the world of marvel comics that means they cant be all bad because there ARE super villains who WILL indiscriminately kill literally fucking Everyone just for funsies (see: carnage). so to have a moral code AT ALL, like, MEANS something. so yes that moral code means that they want to murder spiderman for their entire villain era. but it also means that theyre capable of good! and after putting their quest for vengeance to the wayside, all that they have then is… well, aptly named The Lethal Protector. they do good, but . yknow, kinda unconventionally. by murdering. lol

so the underground city for context is this city of homeless people in san francisco who found some buried ruins of older SF streets that the city government completely forgot about. so they seek refuge in the underground city bc nobody aboveground is batting for their right to shelter + safety. and in lethal protector (1992), even the underground city is put in danger bc the life foundation aka a bunch of soulless rich fucks want to like, kill the residents and bulldoze the underground city for reasons i cant remember bc its been several months since i read this comic. and venom comes to the rescue !! they prove themselves to the residents that they arent evil anymore and the residents agree to let them stay with them in exchange for further protection

i just find that whole thing so interesting. the underground city residents are outcasts from society aboveground due to the whole stigma of poverty and being unhoused, especially the callous cruelty that the uber rich exhibit towards them. likewise, eddie + symbiote are also outcasts due to, well, their whole thing, but also individually they have both been outcasts their whole lives. its why theyre drawn to each other and its also why they fit so well with the underground city. so for them to be able to like, have a community? and put their Lethal Protection to use in saving that community? it means so much 2 me

its a fairly short comic storyline bc within a few comics theyre back in new york again for some fucking reason and the underground city is never mentioned again but MAN. it lives in my heart. lethal protector 1992 through nights of vengeance 1994 my beloved. i wish more was done with them

#this was typed entirely on my phone so forgive any typos or general weird wording. im not my most eloquent on my phone #ask #dandyshorts #v posting #puts my headin my hands i miss the lethal protector era so much #as the comics go on i feel like their weird black and white moral code is getting lost #and theyre just being reduced to HA. VIOLENCE. CHAOS. WOO #like arghghghgdjaokdhwhskhfskfj 😔#they took the protector part out of lethal protector and just kept the lethal. SIGHS #their weird moral code and attempts at being an anti hero mean so much to meeeeee

4 notes · View notes

gayenerd · 4 years

Text

Green Day Deals with the "Rock Star" Dookie

by Tom Lanham

(First appeared in BAM Magazine, March 10, 1995)

Young, loud, and snotty equals beaucoup bucks? What pencil-pushing, graph-charting trend spotter could've predicted it? But the facts speak for themselves: As of late February, Dookie--the brattish, snap 'n' snarl Reprise salvo from Berkeley's sloppy punk trio, Green Day--has sold six million copies. Six million. Chances are, somebody on your block is jumping up and down in his living room at this very moment to the scrap-metal power chords and ardent apathy of "Longview," "Burnout," "Basket Case," or "When I Come Around" and getting lost in the teen abandon of these testy 22-year-olds--weasel-voiced, Montgomery-Clift-like charismatic singer/guitarist Billie Joe; tom-tom tribal percussionist Tre Cool (of the ever-morphing hair-color fame); and bassist Mike Dirnt (who survived Green Day's appearance at Woodstock '94, although several of his teeth did not).

Yes, punk rock is a marketable phenomenon these days, leaving many involved with the music's initial late-'70s, early-'80s wave scratching their heads, wondering why it didn't take the first time around. Public reaction started as curiosity ("Hey, honey, c'mere and lookit these goofy, green-haired little whippersnappers in an insane asylum on MTV!"), but spiraled up to rock-diet necessity (Green Day just won Grammy and they're nominated for quite a few Bammies as well, including such categories as Outstanding Group, Outstanding Album, and Outstanding Song--"Longview" and "Basket Case"). The fact that they've been nominated at all probably sends a shiver up the old dinosaur backbones of Eddie Money, Huey Lewis, and Boz Scaggs, a time-creepy feeling of "Gee, what the hell do we do now?" Because this isn't just some flash-in-the-pan punk movement, folks--this is a youth movement; Green Day are, as they hiply term it, "bored in the 'burbs," and reaching out, through TV and radio, like some prodigal preachers to other American kids who sense the same slacker ennui. Obviously, we're talking truckloads of kids.

Ironically, the more fame edges into the Green Day ruffians' lives, the more mature they seem to become. They've turned down all interview requests as of late, even People magazine, preferring to lay low until this tide of interest recedes. Billie Joe got married last autumn, and spent his honeymoon--not in any exotic, expensive locale--but in Berkeley's grand old Claremont Hotel. Cool recently became a father, and Billie Joe's child is due any day now. It's a responsibility they've both eagerly undertaken. Rob Cavallo, the boys' coproducer and A&R man at Reprise, swears they're "old souls, the smartest young kids I've ever met." It rings true.

The first time I spoke with Green Day, in January of '94, Cool, Dirnt, and Billie Joe were lazing around their dingy basement apartment in Berkeley, sitting on chairs and couches with potentially painful springs poking through. Rock 'n' roll bubblegum cards were scattered across a coffee table, along with several bongs of various sizes, plus a four-and-a-half foot red plastic pipe dubbed "Bongzilla" leaned against a doorway. The only wall decoration, besides a Ren & Stimpy poster, was a Twister game mat nailed up in its entirety, presumably for high-schoolish humor's sake.

When I'd met Billie Joe a few months earlier at a campus concert, his hair was dyed lime-green and featured squidlike tufts. Now it was dark brown, with only two tufts remaining, and both his ears and nose had piercings. Periodically during the interview, he'd ram a finger into that pierced nostril, rummage around, then stare idly at the resultant booger before flicking it on to the carpet. Cool wandered out of the rec room for several minutes, but returned, red-eyed, to proudly proclaim, "Lookit me! I'm stoned, dude!" Dirnt--when he wasn't strumming an acoustic guitar--kept watching their windowsill Sea Monkey tank, finally noting, "Hey, these Sea Monkeys look just like sperm!"

Despite all these schoolboy, poo-poo wit trappings (dookie, after all, is kiddie slang for excrement), there was a sense of seasoned wisdom about them, a feeling that they were, as Cavallo postulated, truly old souls. Like the class clown who frustrates all of his teachers by also maintaining a 4.0 grade average, Green Day can afford to play because their work--brilliantly skewed three-minute pop songs, delivered with such vehemence and vitriol you don't dare doubt them--certainly speaks for itself. But, sooner or later, of course, the band has to speak for itself, too, so what follows is a set of excerpts from that first ratty-digs meeting, as well as a later chat with Billie Joe, sans sidekicks. How did Green Day take over the rock world in less than a year? That's the six-million-copy question, and hopefully we'll provide a few answers.

* * *

So punk is back, whether America likes it or not?

BILLIE JOE: It's always been around, and everyone has their own interpretation of it. It's weird to actually call it "punk" again, when it's been there all the time.

MIKE DIRNT: It's been springing up in little suburban areas, where people grab it and express themselves.

TRE COOL: It's people who make a point of setting aside all responsibilities and just playing music. And doing fat joint after fat joint--you have to let go of things like paying rent, going to school, having a job.

BJ: And, if you can't tell by my house, we don't have a very high standard of living.

How does today's punk rock differ from its late-'70s cousin?

BJ: I think it was all about art and fashion back then, really, because everyone who was a punk in England was in art school. I read an early interview with Dee Dee Ramone, where he said he wished the Ramones had more of a glamorous appeal, too, instead of playing in jeans and leather jackets. But it was definitely about fashion, until the Clash really brought out the political side. Our music came from being bored in the 'burbs. You get put in this high school situation, where you're learning someone else's rules in a room with 30 other people that you don't really like. There's nothing interesting about it whatsoever, so you pick up a guitar instead.

But you all tried college, at least for awhile, right?

MD: And then we started touring. Constantly.

TC: So most of our reading now comes from highway signs.

MD: It's the old grasshopper and the ant story. The thought of actually working is just so...

TC: Sickening!

MD: Yeah. So we put everything we had into not working. This is what I do best, and I was always told, "If you're gonna do something, do it the best you can." So why not do the best thing you can, too?

You guys--at least Mike and Billie Joe--have known each other since you were 10?

BJ: And the first conversation we ever had was about writing songs. And then we just started playing music.

A lot of the stuff on your early Lookout! records shows what was on your mind at the time--namely, girls.

BJ: That was pretty much the viewpoint of a 16-year-old kid. I don't write stuff like that anymore. The new songs are more about coming of age and being apathetic and neurotic.

Where were your parents when you were touring [at age 16]?

MD: At work, doing their own thing.

BJ: My mom's worked a waitress job for like the past 40 years or something, and whatever I was doing was OK with her.

MD: I moved out when I was 15, and I worked all the way through high school.

BJ: And me, I've never held a job longer than two weeks. I tried to flip pizzas--it didn't work. I tried cleaning toilets in the Red Onion in El Sobrante. Me and TrŽ, we used to work for the SF Chronicle, selling papers. I sold three the first day, and the next day we just smoked pot, and we smoked pot the next day after that. So we had hella extra papers lying around. Our ultimate goal wasn't to get rich or famous or anything like that. It was to not have a regular job and not be miserable.

MD: And I've lived in every city around here, except for Albany. Literally. And one thing we want to establish about ourselves is that we're just a bunch of geeks from the suburbs.

Well, one of the first times I saw you, you guys were closing your set with Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger." That's pretty geeky.

MD: I grew up on radio--that's all I had. When I was a little kid, I couldn't afford records. I'll tell you, I've been down to a dollar in my pocket a lot of times. I've even lived in my truck. I can remember shooting rats with a BB gun in the flat we used to live in, before they'd make it to our food.

BJ: I've always been really good about saving. If I got some money, I'd put it away instead of spending it, and I'd buy ramen.

Why name your disc Dookie?

TC: Warner's said we could do anything we want, as long as we didn't say "Cop Killer."

BJ: Somebody told our manager that the ad for it was the most tasteless thing they'd ever seen in Billboard magazine.

What exactly do you mean on Dookie by "Welcome to Paradise"?

BJ, MD, TC [in unison]: West Oakland!

MD: Living in West Oakland, and going out to parties every night.

So it cost, what, around $100,000 to make Dookie?

MD: Yeah. We kept the advances low, because you gotta pay all that shit back. Everyone knows you can't become an instant millionaire just by signing, because there are so many people that want a piece of you.

BJ: We hang out with mostly punks though, and they don't want anything we have. They could care less. And a lot of our friends don't even agree with us being on a major label.

Is Green Day angry?

BJ: No, I'm not angry, like, walking around all the time with a frown on my face. But the way my music is interpreted is very angry.

MD: When you feel really strongly about something, you want to let it out in the most powerful way possible.

Like the way you baited your old high school principal from the Warfield stage recently?

MD: I think he was an asshole. He treated me with no respect. And for high school initiation, we got our heads shaved--that's the kind of small-town shit we had to deal with! Sometimes they made you push a penny up the street with your nose. But that's life, and anywhere you go, you're gonna hate a lot of shit in your life. You'll be handed

Dookie?

MD: Yeah. Yeah, you'll be handed dookie through all parts of your life. And see, what you need to do is just deal with the dookie, build upon what you have, and make something out of the dookie, you know? Like an adobe dookie building!

* * *

Several months later, and Dookie is oozing its gooey way into the public consciousness big time. The fading summer heat sticks crackling to the Berkeley sidewalks as punks--many sporting monstrous green or fuchsia mohawks--zing by on skateboards by day, and huddle in Telegraph Avenue doorways by night, conserving feral body heat the whole time. It feels like another world here, a throwback to the Bay Area's DIY/hardcore scene of the early '80s, when squatters reigned supreme and burlesque Broadway--fueled by all-ages shows at the Mabuhay Gardens, On Broadway, and even an occasional GBH or UK Subs booking at the Stone--made weekend conversions to "Punk Playground, USA." It was the best of times; it was the worst of times--despite relentless touring, most of these bands sold bupkus in the way of records, and few, save Metallica, ever held pen in shaky hand over a major-label contract.

Billie Joe saunters into the Berkeley coffeehouse in rumpled jeans and a grease-spattered flannel shirt; his once-green-and-tufty tresses have grown out into Wally Cleaver waves and been dyed a Rod Stewarty blond. He looks like one of those feisty punks of yore; like he could hold his own through sheer physical endurance in the wildest of thrash pits. There's a new authority about him, the way he strides confidently to the counter, orders a pint-size glass of coffee, then swims through a sea of late-lunching yuppies to grab a table. The singer doesn't seem to notice them at all. Or maybe he's just too tired from nonstop touring to really give a shit. He smiles a goofy grin, revealing a set of generally crooked or chipped choppers, with an entire half of one front tooth missing. But there's such charisma behind it, the same kind of "Who, me?" innocence that little kids use. Billie Joe, you might say, has quickly become the Bart Simpson of the alternative set.

How else could you explain his uncensored performance at a certain outdoor arena where--in a hyperspeed set lasting only 30 minutes before management threatened to pull the plug--he a) unzipped his fly and paraded his privates around for all to see; b) handed a stunned fan his beat-up, sticker-plastered guitar and urged him to play it; c) destroyed a $600 microphone by smashing it into the stage, then destroyed a second mike he was handed as well; and d) encouraged half the venue to chant, "Rock 'n' roll!" and the other half to respond with, "Shut the fuck up!" He then closed the show with a proposition--"They'll be really angry with us, but what we could do is rip out the seats!" he told the audience, which promptly gave Green Day a standing ovation. Billie Joe not only shrugs off such shenanigans as artistic license, he gets away with them! He's even encouraged to continue by fans who empathize with his uppity "fuck authority" attitude.

But the facts were all on the table as Billie Joe sipped his house blend that afternoon, and it didn't take a fortune teller to read 'em. Green Day was hitting big time. Fast. And the sheer enormity of the undertaking, the weight of all its accordant responsibility, was just beginning to hit him. He looked older, wiser, and spoke in more grownup tones about his future, which then included a pending marriage to longtime girlfriend Adrienne. You could practically feel this new maturity encircling him like some protective aura.

* * *

=Where do all these punks on Telegraph come from? They can't all be local and homeless.

I think Telegraph has just become this cultural mecca for punk rockers, because most of 'em who are on the Avenue aren't even from here. They're from Arizona, Minneapolis, New York, Florida. They just come out and end up squatting in houses in Berkeley. Why here? It's the climate, and the scene itself--Gilman Street and Maximum Rock 'n' Roll are in this area, and have a link to each other. But at the same time, it's separated, because there are so many different factions of punk now. There are the squatters, the pop-cores, the mods, the crusties. And all these types of people come out just to check it out. Plus, there's the best coffee in Berkeley, and a lot of 'em are real super coffee-drinkers, just pounding cup after cup all the time. It's pretty rare to come across a punk who doesn't drink coffee. I can't drink too much coffee myself--it gives me the shakes at night, so I just have a little bit during the day. Then I can smoke dope and go to bed.

=What's the attraction in squatting or homelessness for these kids?

For a lot of 'em, it's the first sense of freedom that they've had. It's like, "You mean I don't have to be home by midnight?" They've pretty much told their families and schools to go fuck themselves, so they go off and do their own thing. When I was 17, I did the same thing. And I had this total sense of freedom, where no one's telling you what to do, you don't have a clock to punch in on, you don't have people breathing down your neck; you don't have any deadlines to meet. You have this endless schedule where you can stay up all night drinking with your friends, or do anything you want.

=But isn't "Coming Clean" about leaving behind your wilder ways?

It's also about coming to grips with your sexuality. There's one line, "Skeletons come to life in my closet." And it's like, "Am I homosexual or heterosexual?" You go through this adolescent stage in your life where you don't really know what you are, and one side is taboo because your parents brought you up to think being gay was wrong. And if you come to grips with yourself, that you happen to be gay or bi or whatever, well, that was one thing about punk that was so accepting--all creeds were welcome, all sexualities, everything.

=Was this something you went through personally?

Yeah, to a certain extent. But I don't want to go around waving a gay flag or anything.

=Well, you had a beautiful girl on your arm backstage at the last Green Day show.

That's Adrienne. She's cool. Actually, we're engaged. That's why it took me so long getting here today--I had to get this! [Rolls sleeve up on tattooed arm, points to a bandaged-on cotton swab] Blood test, dude! We're getting married next week!

=Has anybody tried to tell you you're too young for such a serious move?

Of course. There are a lot of people who've said stuff. My parents have been a little more understanding than her parents. I just called my mom yesterday and said, "Mom, I'm gettin' married," and she said, "That's fine, son. Have fun!" I can hardly surprise my mother nowadays. But [this relationship] has been a recurring thing for the past four years, and we just decided to get serious about it. She's coming out here, and we're moving in together, so it's like, "Why not?" I don't really have any wild oats to sow, or anything like that. I'm not into the "Gettin' chicks all the time" thing.

=I know a lot of girls who'll be really bummed that you're gittin' hitched. They all seem to have developed a crush on you...

Me?! It must be the teeth [grins again].

=OK, so maybe you didn't brush often enough when you were young. But you were busy developing a direction...

I wouldn't necessarily say I had a direction or anything. I just knew I wanted to write songs. It comes from...uh...I don't know. I have no idea. It wasn't any kind of cosmic force or anything like that; it was just a matter of having a guitar around and wanting to play it all the time. I've had the same guitar since I was 11--I bought it off this guy at a guitar store. And I still play it--you know, the blue one with stickers all over it? That's my blue guitar, and, for some reason, things come to life, and everyone calls it "Blue" now--"Where's Blue? Can I pick up Blue and play it?"

=And you let just anybody touch it?

Oh yeah! Blue's not prejudiced.

=It's interesting to note that the general public seems to think Dookie is your debut.

Yeah, but that's just the general public. There are people who've been with us since the beginning, who know how long we've been around, since our first 7-inch came out back in '89.

=And now you can afford to trash pricey microphones.

Actually, Warner Brothers paid for those. It was pretty nice of 'em. They looked really nice--I remember looking at 'em and thinking, "Nice microphones!" They gave me one mike and I took it and threw it down, and they gave me another, and at the end of the set I creamed it pretty hard, I guess. We toured Europe with this band Die Toten Hosen--we played nine dates with 'em--and we got charged for a microphone every night. I dunno, for some reason we just started smashing shit. We'd start throwing equipment around at the end of each set, and these kids would start grabbing Tre's drum set and throwing it, and then they started smashing the microphones too. And the bouncers just couldn't do anything about it.

=And you actually yanked your dick out onstage too?

I did. Totally. It was the real thing. I dunno. The bands that we were playing with were just boring. It was more like making a mockery of the whole thing. The big arena rock thing is just so dated now, like Journey or Queen. Which is why I think punk rock started to begin with--it was this reaction to all the dinosaur bands. So for me, that show was, "How can we make a complete mockery of this but at the same time have fun with it?" I like to leave people guessing, "Did he hate that or did he like that?" It's not that I don't care--it's more that I'm careless. I try to be as happy-go-lucky as I can, but you can become apathetic at the same time.

=Do you feel like Green Day is a part of, or represents, the so-called "slacker generation"?

There's one side of me that doesn't mind it, because it's a generational thing, and another side of me that says, "Fuck that!" The reason I wrote the songs is, I ended up going back to Rodeo, where I'm from, for a week. And then I said, "Fuck it," and left. But I managed to get several good songs out of it. A lot of my friends had just turned into complete burnouts. And these are kids I've known since kindergarten, because it's a small town and you know everybody. And it was all fixing cars, staying up all night on methamphetamines, smoking dope, and finding out all these rumors about people I haven't heard of in 10 years. Like, "Oh, did you hear about so-and-so, who got married, had three kids, and ended up shooting everybody in his family?" And it happened! It was a true story! You're there for one week, and you get caught up in it. You get so bored, all you wanna do is watch television. And there are no record stores, nothing around, so you end up hanging out with all these delinquents who aren't punkers at all, just cultural idiots. So I was watching all these people rot and rotting with them until I realized, "Shit! I gotta get the fuck outta here!"

=As they say, you can never go home again.

Oh yeah, definitely. Unless you get pregnant, like my sister did. Then you have to go. But I quit school my senior year--I just wasn't getting anything out of it. I was taking nine periods a day, plus night classes, which left me no time to smoke dope whatsoever. And my mom even suggested I drop out, because she was a dropout, too. I come from a long line of dropouts. I still have nightmares about being late with my homework assignments. When I finally went in to sign out of high school, the teacher went, "Now, who are you again?"

=And if that teacher could see you now!

A lot of people think you get this big connection with a corporate label, and you make millions of dollars, but they don't understand that you just don't make that much money. And when you do, it's easy to piss it away. I mean, every cent that I've made, I've pissed away. I'm not gonna say how I did it, but I don't have it But I don't think you necessarily have to be a punk to decide to say, "Fuck it." You don't even have to have a direction. It's just a matter of getting the fuck out and exploring things for yourself.

=But didn't you feel abject terror when you first set out on your own?

Nah, I didn't. Because, for some reason, I knew things were gonna be all right. You can create your own future as long as karma's on your side. And I'm a strong believer in karma. I think things can come back to you if you're just willing to give.

* * *

True enough. At least six million times over!

1995 Tom Lanham

#article #interview #articles #billie joe armstrong

6 notes · View notes

daggerzine · 3 years

Text

Sunday Runners.....the Corvair interview.

The music of Corvair fell into my hands recently thanks to Heather Larimer, who makes up one half of the band. The Portland duo, comprised of Larimer and her husband Brian Naubert (and drummer Eric Eagle for the recordings) haven’t been around for too long but being together a lot the past year or so gave them plenty of time to work on songs. I was a big fan of Larimer’s previous band, Eux Autres, and wondered if they were still around (see the first question) so was anxious to hear Corvair. I really liked what I heard. A healthy dose of all things 1970’s, 80’s and 90’s and not quite new wave, note quite indie rock but 100% deluxe. The S/T record, which was released in February, was a co-release between their own label and WIAIWYA label in the UK. Read on and find out the history of the band, where they’ve been and where they’re headed. Oh and make sure you listen to their music.

Heather and Brian and Brian and Heather

Tell us about the end of Eux Autres. Why did that band end?

It actually has not officially ended. While Sun is Sunk was coming out, we left SF because it felt like that city as we knew it was dying—all the artists we knew were moving out, and I moved back to Portland and Nick to LA. Then I had a baby and then Nick had a baby and then soon we each had another baby. With 4 little kids among us, it became really hard to fly back and forth to work on new material. We tried it for a couple years and then one day we calculated that at our pace, the record we were making would take 5 years. So we just kind of gave each other permission to prioritize other projects. Nick is working on some songs I truly love right now. They’re a real gut punch.

…and about the beginning of Corvair. How/when did the band form?

We had known each other for many years and then we got married three-ish years ago and suddenly neither of us had other musical projects going on. So we kind of shrugged and said, what if we worked together? We would sing in the car or while cooking or whatever so we knew our voices sounded great together. Then it was just a matter of figuring out what sort of project it would be. We went into the studio with a session drummer (Eric Eagle) in late 2019 and then a few months later, the pandemic suddenly gave as a LOT of time to make progress on the tracks. So the creative center of the record was defined in a weird apocalyptic bubble. But it was helpful to have that break with reality as we knew it, because we’ve both made a lot of records, and I suppose that could have somehow blunted our ambition or our edges. But we just hit the “fuck it” button and gave ourselves over to it completely. We were very nervous to mix, because no one else in the world had heard it, and we thought it was great, but we also could have been in a shared hallucination. Really, we’d be the last to know.

The debut....

Who came up with the name? I have always loved those cars.

Brian’s mom drove a Corvair with a hole in the floor. They would drive it on the special outings to the beach, the weekend adventures. So it was a very romantic car, and the name is just very nice to say. It makes you feel good. Both of us had been in bands with names that were a nightmare to tell someone in a crowded club, or really anywhere (Eux Autres and Ruston Mire). You’d have to repeat it 3 times, then explain it, and then they just kind of shrug with pity. We vowed to have a band name anyone could understand the first time.

Did the WIAIWYA label approach you about releasing the record (or co-releasing it)?

John had approached Eux Autres right after our second record and so we did an EP (Strangled Days) with him and then we were on his label ever since. Late last summer, I posted a picture of Brian and I holding the CD Master on my Instagram and John said, what the hell is this? And then I emailed him the record and he wrote right back: “It’s RAD Heather!” I’m not sure if he was making fun of me by saying “rad”--probably, actually. I think I used to say it a lot. But he immediately wanted to put out the record. Nick and I had some really great times in the UK and Europe thanks to John and he has a very devoted audience, so Corvair felt it was a great fit for us.

Is the Pink Room your own studio?

Yes, it is literally a room in our house that is pink. Brian has been making records at home for most of his life, since he was about 14. And despite having done fancier stuff like making studio demos for Columbia several times and recording with Peter Buck in a nice place, he really prefers to work at home because he likes to spend a ton of time on overdubs—they’re not even really “overdubs,” more like a second wave of writing for him. And I had found being in the studio very stressful in the past because I’m not a technically proficient musician and that makes me self-conscious. So I was grateful to be in the privacy of my own home, in my soft pants.

Single from last year

Did the songs on the album come fairly easily or did you feel like you labored over them?

The initial writing of them came very easily and fast. Brian did a couple of 30 day writing challenges where he wrote several songs a day. But then once we laid down the basic tracks, we spent a ton of time building them and experimenting with them. We actually recorded probably twice as many parts as we ended up using. And half of what we did in the mix was kill things. In fact, we cut five totally finished songs from the record.

Tell us about making those videos? Were you freezing?

Consistently very very cold, yes. Ironically, the one in the snow (Green Mean Time) was the warmest because we were properly dressed. But the ocean ones were just brutal. Especially Sunday Runner. The video was Brian’s idea, he had a very specific vision and made it sound all easy: OK, just go down to the beach and dance for 90 seconds. And I was like, huh?!? And then I kept falling down and got absolutely soaked to the bone. When we finished shooting, I couldn’t feel my hands or feet and he was steering me down the beach with his coat wrapped around me and these little kids were staring horrified, like, Mom what’s wrong with that lady?

Prior to the pandemic had you played out live much? Done any tours?

We have never ever played live as Corvair. Which is just wild. We will likely be recording this next album before we even have a line-up for performing. But we are very excited to play together. Likely this fall. Hopefully John will bring us to England soon so we will have a great excuse to get it together.

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

Brian:

David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust

David Bowie - Low

Nada Surf - Let Go

Brian Eno - Another Green World

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of The Moon (yeah I know, but I don’t care)

Heather:

GBV - Alien Lanes

Kinks - Village Green

Elliott Smith - Either/Or

Radiohead - Kid A

Ruston Mire - Steady Jobs and Flying Cars

Who are some of your favorite current bands, local otherwise?

HL: I’m interested in the Dry Cleaning juggernaut. And I really dig Deep Sea Diver, Cloud Nothings, Courtney Barnett, Big Thief/Lenker. And then, I’m also very ready to embrace a new angry band whose music makes you think your stereo is broken when you play it--I’m taking suggestions.

BN: Alt J, Elbow, Doves, Metric, Foals, Snail Mail

What’s next for the band?

HL: We are recording this summer and trying to put some sort of live outfit together ASAP. Trying to stay out of the ocean for a while.

Closing comments? Words of wisdom? Final thoughts?

Thank you so much for having us!

www.corvair.bandcamp.com

youtube

3 notes · View notes

puttingfingerstokeys · 4 years

Text

I’m on fire again

I’m here dealing out emotional nut punches as best I can. Idk if this one’ll reach your testes, but hopefully, if all goes as planned. Ahh let’s see first person, present tense--kind of a storytelling/narration type o’ situation.

Caged Heat (MORE LIKE AGED HEAT AMIRITE? yeah so it’s 50some Johnny and past, 25ish? Liu... so if age gap squicks you, do not read the thing!) - Liu/Johnny. Potential prequel to Out With A Bang.

Broken Timeline

PS this here’s the song that was in me head

In my life (all fifty some odd years of it), I’ve learned to expect serious horseshit. Sometimes it’s the kind you can avoid—big, stinking piles, easy to stop and ultimately not a whole lot more than an inconvenience. Most often, though—and this honestly happens easily eighty seven percent (this also happens to be the Rotten Tomatoes score for Ninja Mime 2) of the time—it’s the kind of shit that’s hitting some metaphorical fan and spreading itself out over everyone and everything I love, specifically. How can shit, distributed like bird shot, be specific? Trust me, it can.

The last few months—If I’m being honest, it’s been literal years, but I’m a guy who focuses on the now—have been a particular brand of horseshit that drives a man to drink. I’ve learned my lesson with that, though. No Bueno, as Cass would say. Yeah no fuckin’ Bueno.

One thing leads to another and another… A guy we all trusted with our lives led us into a death trap—led MY girls into a death trap and one of ‘em didn’t make it out. Sonya, babe, if you’re out there, you always deserved better’n me, but I’m glad you picked me anyway.

I guess I can’t really hold that against Raiden. To say he wasn’t in the right frame of mind would be putting it mildly. Post-timequake, I ended up asking his past self (do gods have those?) what the fuck was going on in his brain.

“As I have yet to make those mistakes, Johnny Cage, I could not say for certain, although the influence of Shinnok’s essence, trapped within that amulet, may have played a factor.” That’s the best he could do and I’m going to go ahead and not ask again.

Gods and demons and magical amulets—it’s my life, right? But it feels like one of my (bad) movies. Not the good ones—Lady Liberty was good—IS good—but like, one of those should’ve-been-straight-to-video jobs. This is like that except it’s happening and my friends are dying. They’re dying and I’m surviving. Do you know what it’s like to watch people you love drop like flies?

I’ve always been the “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” type of guy. Turns out I’m the one who’s stuck here for the long haul, though. I mean, over and over, it’s just turned out that way. Maybe there’s some cosmic force (not Thunder Cat, in case you were wondering) looking out for me, but I really wish it would stop.

Anyway that… kinda brings me to the next bit. Watching Raiden fry Liu Kang has got to be the highlight of shit I never want to think about again, but something I can’t get out of my head no matter how hard I try—and I DO try. I DID try—I tried a long time and it really fucked up Cassie’s childhood, my career, my relationship with Sonya. SF is out there waging a secret war and I’m wallowing in self-pity and booze with a daughter who doesn’t goddamn well know any better.

I guess I had just wanted out, but I never meant to try taking her with me. She knows that by now, but that doesn’t fix what I did. So I do the right thing, get straight (relatively speaking), get clean, and join the military. My previous experience with Outworld ends up with me in SF, under my ex-wife (pretty much against protocol anywhere else, except that we don’t have many options), and surrounded by people I’d hoped never to see again.

Because I’m a selfish prick and being near them reminds me of that… all that shit—with Shinnok, the island, Goro, Liu… All that.

So I am, as usual, digressing. I’ll cut it short. The scenario is easy to set: It’s the day before everyone plans on invading Netherrealm (ew), sailing across the sea of blood (gross??), and taking a shot at the head Kueball herself, Kronika (I’m proud of myself for that one; please laugh).

Everybody but ME.

I’m pretending like it’s nothing, but it actually smarts like a bitch—and not just my fucking leg. Yes, I resent the fact that I probably won’t be shadowkicking ever again, but what stings worst of all is that I know most of these people—everyone from Sub-Zero (whoda thunk) and Scorpion (GET OVER HERE) to Raiden (bzzt) and my girl Cass (aka mini me)—are not coming back from this. They’re not coming back and I am, once again, the sole survivor.

EVEN MY DOUCHEBAG YOUNGER SELF IS GOING. Tell me where the justice is in that?

But I’m playing it cool. I have to do it, for all of them. It’s not for MY benefit; I’m fuming. I speak with Electric Slide a while—he has this really calming way about him that’s kind of weird if you consider how NOT calming lightning bolts are—and then he heads off to… probably do god things. He makes me feel marginally less shitty, but the feeling is still there, like a bad tooth, aching and waiting for me to fuck up and bite into something.

I’m glad I can at least BE here, at the Fire Garden, WITH everyone, but knowing it’s going to make their departure suck a fat one. I’m sulking again, getting my head in a dark place and keeping it firmly lodged there (the dark place is, as you might guess, up my own ass). But hey, who should pop his perfectly-groomed head into my rad sliding door (is rad a thing kids still say? Also it’s evidently called a “shoji” or something) but Liu “Kicky Longstockings” Kang himself. The young, hot one, not the gray, bad-tempered dude.

“Ol’ Sparky went that way,” I tell him, pointing out the door and in a vague direction. He shakes his head. He’s not looking for Raiden, apparently—it’s cute how he always calls the guy Lord Raiden… I mean I guess that’s his name, but I feel like if you’re involved in operations with a dude for so long, a little casualness is kind of expected. Anyway he’s never minded. Nobody’s MY “lord” anyway. I’m not that kinda guy.

But anyway, so Liu walks in (sounds like the beginning of a joke… “So a monk walks into a whatever”), closes the door behind him, and sits down on the edge of my bed looking conflicted (read: closeted) as all fuck, staring at his hands, at the door, the ceiling. I tell him my eyes are up here, which makes him laugh.

God that laugh—that fucking smile. My heart is skipping SO many beats. I am too old for this shit. We both know it, at some level, whatever this shit even is. When he holds my hand, it’s in a friendly way. When we speak, it’s comfortable, like we never stopped. For HIM, that’s true, but he hasn’t connected with me yet, not the way I remember. I mean, maybe we’ve—y’know, but there’s a weird kind of desperate gratefulness in his voice when he talks about everything that’s happening, owning his fear, chewing through it like the Chosen One he absolutely is, and then finally turning his words and attention on me—on US. I tell him there’s no us, or that… there wasn’t—there were a few moments, but I’d only met him. I had wanted to know him better then and now he’s sitting in front of me and we have less than ten hours to get to know each other. I said my life was the shit-hitting-fan kind.

“I like you better than your past self,” he says, in no way sheepish. I have to laugh at that one and agree that I, too, prefer my current self to whatever hot mess I was brewing almost thirty years ago. I fill him in on what that ended up doing for me and he listens without judgment. Even through the lowest lows, I detect not a hint of condescension.

An hour passes. We are just talking. It’s easy. He’s an easy guy to be around. Maybe it’s the monk thing ‘cause 1.21 Gigawatts has that too, like I said—but he’s kinda more nun than monk. Anyway what Liu does next is debatably non-monkish so maybe the comparison is pointless. His hand finds the side of my face and I self-consciously wonder if I should have shaved. Before or after the showdown with Kano, Cage? Okay, dumb thought.

“What do you want?” I gotta ask him because he’s not going to say it on his own. I know what I want, but that’s easy enough to discern by the way I’m watching him. He doesn’t hem and haw, though I can see the hesitation in his eyes. He simply watches a few moments longer before leaning in to kiss me—and what a kiss it is. It’s like fireworks. You know, you read in books that it’s an explosion of color and whatever the hell else—I dunno, the only thing I read is a script—well they’re right.

My heart is doing the thing again where it threatens to burst out of my ribcage and go running off. Liu pulls away first, looking kind of horrified, but the color on his cheeks and the way he is touching his lips tells me I still got it.

“Sonya,” he whispers, the name falling helplessly from pretty lips I can’t stop ogling. It’s undignified, I know, but there it is.

“I’ll always love her,” I tell him, “but that never stopped me loving you, Liu.”

He considers this, still seeming conflicted, but I gotta admit, I’m really enjoying the way his cheeks go red. I could look all night, but I really shouldn’t waste the time. We have eight hours, give or take. I remind him of this, remind him that no vow in the world is going to protect him from the inevitability of a titan.

I don’t feel like I’m pushing him, but encouraging the guy in a direction he already wants to take. E.g. Me. And I’m really only doing it ‘cause I know he either already has or intended. Maybe it’s wrong, but like I said, I’m selfish.

The next kiss is a lot more purposeful, with zero hesitation. When he yanks the sheet back, I shift to protect my leg and give him an easier time crawling on top of me. That’s what I want, to feel anything but alone. This heat between us is what I want—maybe what I need—and he obliges. He really is a polite guy.

Liu is careful as we move, mindful of my leg, and teasingly deferential to my seniority. When I jokingly call him “son”, he blanches and looks like he might swat me until he gets my shirt up over my chest and sees that ridiculous tattoo that he hates so much. It’s a weird kind of hate because the last time he saw it, the Edwardian (I think that’s what it is? I was drunk) script had the same effect. I’d never known someone could be angry and horny at the same time, ‘til I met Liu Kang—and Sonya, come to think of it. I guess I DO have a type.

Also I want it known that Liu Kang is a biter and he likes ‘em top heavy. Just, in case anyone cared.

It feels like he wants to grope and/or take the tattoo right off my chest. When his lips aren’t busy with mine, they’re on me someplace and he’s got a hand over my mouth. It’s a good call, but GOD I want to be loud. I know he can be—all that turkey screaming is good for something, after all. But right now, we’ve gotta keep it down; the walls and doors are pretty thin and who knows who might wander by outside. The idea of Zap Dad catching us in flagrante delicto, (yeah, I know what that means; get off my back) is both hilarious and mortifying.

Real talk, though, all joking aside, the sex is probably some of the best I’ve gotten in literal years. When I say the dude can throw a fuck, I mean it. He’s mindful of the leg, but this kid (weird-sounding I know, but when you get to be my age, everyone’s a kid) is going to town on me—I’m pretty sure he’s going to blow my back out… kinda hoping he does.

Somewhere in the hot, sharp, sweet chaos of it all, I tell Liu that if I’m not limping tomorrow, he did something wrong. Well, he’s kind of a perfectionist (guess that’s why he’s the chosen one), so he sets about making damn sure I don’t ever, at any point in time, think that he did not do his job. I’m pretty sure we’re going to bring the whole complex down when the ol’ fireworks hit again. These ones are blinding, pretty much set about knocking us both out completely. If he doesn’t sleep well after this, I don’t know what else to do.

Coming down from it is comfortable. There’s that really nice feeling of tingling numbness in my legs and the creeping soreness of a well-used… Anyway, it’s not such a bad deal to fall asleep next to him, wrapped in his arms. He’s at ease too, finally. I should get paid for this. You already do, man; you’re an actor, my mind insists. Okay, that’s fair.

I consider this as the sun sinks and the room goes dark. Silvery moonlight shines in the windows on the other side and creeps across the floor which looks honestly like it gets waxed every day. Knowing that hardass, Scorpion, it DOES. A lot of care has gone into this place, rebuilding it, students and all. To lose the Grandmaster that way, hoping to replace him with his younger self… it just makes the Hail Mary a whole lot uglier.

I shift to lie on my back, considering the ceiling which is suddenly fascinating. If I’m lucky, he’ll keep sleeping and NOT detect the tears that are falling from my eyes faster than I can rub them away. He’s a light sleeper, though—guess I could’ve figured that one out—and before I know it, he, too is shifting to press himself closer, asking me what’s on my mind. Not what’s wrong. He doesn’t ask that because he knows; we kind of both know what the fuck is so horrendously wrong with this entire situation. He just offers the age-old penny for my thoughts.

“You come back for me, okay?” I hear myself whispering these words—they’re shitty and selfish and wrong; we both know he’s not coming back—before I can stop myself. The old Johnny Cage “charm” has evidently decided to rear its ugly mug. It’s like a hydra, I swear. Take out one head and seven more show up, that kind of deal? Not cool. But I DO mean it and, as long as I’m not lying, as long as we’re here, together and alone, pressed up against each other, I should probably say it.

“I promise.”

The words, three short syllables—they cut me, deep. This is like a confession of love, but ten thousand times more painful, because I know it’s not a promise he can keep. All at once, though, he’s kissing me again, rolling on top of me, pushing the doubt away with his lips. There’s a sureness in them that scares me, a determination hinged on hope that just isn’t realistic.

It isn’t that I doubt Raiden’s plans (could anyone blame me if I did?), or the snaky fucking sorcerer that showed up with Fujin and Nightwolf (a couple of guys I NEVER thought I’d see again) just a day or two ago. I just doubt our luck. We have always had shit luck, all of us. It definitely seems like I’m the lucky one, though, doesn’t it?

How lucky is it to watch people die, to hold them tight and close, knowing you’ll never do it again? That’s not luck. That’s crap. That’s my life. I’m not looking for pity though—actually right now I’m not looking for anything. I’ve got everything right where I want it. Liu is hot against my flesh, pushing himself in deeper than before, and harder—there’s urgency like I remember it, a fathomless need, I think, to remember and be remembered. He’s an idiot if he thinks I could ever forget him. No matter what happens, I can’t do that.

I feel teeth and fingers digging in, sticky, hot flesh, and the most exquisite (yeah, I know what that means; get off my back) pain and pleasure combo I’ve ever experienced hands down, bar none. I want more, but then with him, I always do—or did. Or will? I don’t know. I want to think there’s a future for us, but if Kronika gets her way, no one gets a future; we just get to restart, to relive whatever pain she thinks is appropriate. Right now, right here, she can’t touch us. We’re consumed with each other and it feels so… so good.

Just when I think he’s done, that neither of us can go any longer—I realize how stupid that sounds to anyone who’s met a guy of 25—his hands are on me again, gripping my hip hard and pulling me back against him, his other arm—the guy has great arms, just FYI—around my chest. He guides himself in again and I lean into it. My leg is screaming, of course, but drowning that is easy. I’d love to lose myself in this for eternity, which sounds like a damn long time, but it’s better than the six(ish) hours we have left. Nevertheless, that’s what we’ve got and I’m taking every bit of it.

When we finish—yes, WE, like I said, Liu is a polite guy—I warn him that we have GOT to sleep. He taunts me. Of course he does. “What?” He says. “You done already?” Well of course I can’t take that lying down—figuratively, of course, I’m definitely still on my back. Knees are a no-go with the bandages and the underlying injury.

He folds me this time, once more gentle with the bad leg, asking if I’m okay. I’m damn well not going to tell him it hurts like a motherfucker, not when he’s got my legs over his meaty, broad, beefy, HUGE linebacker shoulders—did I mention he has a great rack? And we’re off again.

It feels like we go at it all night, but we have a few hours left to snooze before the sun comes up and the ships set sail. God, ships—that’s so weird. I’ve never seen Netherrealm, or the sea of blood, but it sounds ominous and diseased… and sticky. My cowardly side is glad I’m not going, but part of me wonders if I’ll suddenly, like, acquire the memories of my younger self going. Is that going to be a headache situation, or a knock-me-on-my-sore-ass-for-a-week situation?

This time, Liu is curled into MY chest, hands tucked under his chin like a little kid. It’s kind of cute and I tug the sheets up over our sweaty bodies, knowing damn well how hard it’s going to be to disentangle when morning comes. But I can’t bear to move him. It’s like when a cat sits on you and suddenly you’re the Chosen One.

Except Liu Kang is the Chosen One and he’s going to go off, get himself killed, maybe save Earthrealm and then what? Ol’ Johnny gets to survive another year. I don’t know if I want to survive without him or any of our other friends. I don’t know if I can. I’m shit on my own. It’s taken years to come to terms with that, but it’s true. I’m not good alone. I hold him tightly until sleep takes me.

It is high fucking noon before I open my eyes. I am unsurprised to find the spot next to me cold—but it is not empty. On the pillow where only hours before, Liu’s head had been resting, there’s a worn looking piece of red cloth. I sit up, groan at the agony my body is presenting—if it is bad today, imagine what tomorrow will feel like—and grasp the cloth. It is, if I’m not wrong, his old headband, the one he’d been wearing when we first met. Of course he has about a gazillion of them (he’s got ‘em like I’ve got shades, except he’s wearing some homespun shit and I’ve got Oakleys), but this one is kinda special… More than kinda.

I am not ashamed to admit that I’m crying, sobbing like a baby, like I haven’t had the chance to do since all this started. Holding his headband close to my face, I think about all we’ve lost, all we have sacrificed. I think of Sonya, the indomitable mother of my child. I think of Kung Lao, Liu’s best friend and unfortunate victim of fate. I think of Jade, of Vera, of all the lives that have been stolen and what we still have left to lose.

“You promised,” I hiss angrily, as if he is already gone, has already broken his oath to me. “You promised you’d come back—why’d ya do that if you knew… you couldn’t… can’t…”

#caged heat #liu kang #raiden #johnny cage #MK #cc #cw #mortal kombat #nsfa #yeah they fuckin #aged heat #I'm funny please laugh

8 notes · View notes

ashotofhelena · 4 years

Text

2021

Side note: I really hope Tumblr never dies because I use it specifically for resolutions (and best of music tracking) at this point. Honestly, I love it to look back at what I wrote at the start of the year and how my year progressed.

What is there to say about 2020 that culture has not yet already said? One might say it was “unprecedented times”; one might say it was “the lost year”; one would probably call it a “dumpster fire”. Who could have predicted such turbulence and chaos when the year began? It was definitely not the year I (or anyone I am assuming) had imagined, but it was one that will have shaped me for probably the rest of my life.

At the beginning of 2020, I tearfully said goodbye to a city that I never thought I would be sad to leave - San Francisco had unexpectedly taken my heart and I decided to pursue career aspirations over my love for the city, moving back to New York in February 2020. As life had it, timing weirdly worked out for me as I was living at my parents’ home when the pandemic hit in March. On a selfish note, it was lovely having no expenses, no rent, and dinner on the table every night. But, being on Long Island with my parents from February to July was truly a test to my mental health. And so, I made the decision to fly back to San Francisco in July for a month.

I ended up staying in San Francisco until mid November, and it was honestly the best decision I made in 2020. My four months there allowed me time to see friends, even make new friends, do more in a city that I was rushed out of, and really assess how I felt about the city and the people there. To be honest, I don’t think it really helped that last action as I am still torn about whether I would move back to California or not. BUT I do feel like I was able to get a bit more out of it in 2020 and I am grateful to have had that opportunity to do so.

As 2021 approaches and the pandemic hopefully starts to peter out, I am itching to get my life started in NYC. 2020 has been awash, in my opinion, and I want to start 2021 off strong, and end it with the pandemic over and things back to normal. Looking forward to 2021, I am hoping to build off of the good habits I developed in 2020 (mostly due to the pandemic) and start a home base in NYC. Even with the four months there, I still miss San Francisco a lot, but I think it’s time to start looking forward in 2021. Here are my resolutions for the new year:

Building that home base in NYC. I am most likely moving into the city in February and living with one of my best friends from college. Timing worked out perfectly and I am definitely excited to live in the city with Emily! Like I said above, I spent a lot of 2020 trapped in my parents’ house and dwelling on the past. Hoping this move into my own personal space will help me move towards the future.

Be more open to meeting new people and dating. The older I get, the harder it is for me to meet new people - I like the people I like and want to hang out with only them! But as I am getting older, I do realize that I see a lot of my friends and serious relationships and as I pigeonhole myself with my current friends, I don’t think I will find my person. Making it a goal to be more open about this and maybe I will find someone who can tolerate me 24/7.

Run 1,000 miles in the year. This goal literally baffles me - who am I??? But, I really started running this year, even running a half-marathon by myself and ended 2020 running 800+ miles! I have come to really enjoy the sport and find it to be a good way to relieve some of my stress and it feels good to see myself running longer and longer distances. Putting this goal on here to hold myself accountable.

Continue to workout regularly, 3-4 times a week. Outside of running, I have really enjoyed the Peloton strength and yoga classes. I don’t see group fitness coming back for a while, so doing these classes will hopefully keep me in shape. Aim to do these workouts 3-4 times a week on top of my running goal.

Go pescatarian. This is such a reach goal for me... I am coming to terms that I will probably always have a little bit of meat in my diet but I have successfully cut down my meat intake significantly. As I move into NYC and start cooking for myself, my personal rules will be that I won’t eat meat at home and when eating personal meals out. I will only eat meat in family style meals or for special occasions. In an ideal world, I will be pescatarian by end of 2021.

Learn how to drive. This is such an embarrassing one but I just never learned how to drive in high school/college. Being stuck at home during the pandemic made me realize that... I need to learn this skill. Once I am in the city, I am signing up for driving lessons and hopefully will get a license before the end of the year.

Cook and bake more. I have started baking during the pandemic, after claiming to have never touched an oven before it (really I think the above goals are just showing I am on my way to becoming a suburban mom). I do love the feeling of baking something, and it being a success. I definitely want to hone in on those skills in 2021 and have already told Em that we will indeed be baking and cooking a lot in our new apartment!

Read 35 books in the year. One positive of COVID-19 is that I started reading A LOT more and god, do I actually love reading. I have read 33 (and counting!) books this year. I want to keep that goal steady so hoping to read 35 books in 2021. Already have soooo many books lined up that I want to read! My first challenge? Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky!

Volunteer more (if possible!). I loved volunteering in 2019 and haven’t had the opportunity to do it yet given the pandemic. Circumstances pending, I would love to do some sort of volunteer work in 2021. Ideally would like it to be in the food, educational or tech industry.

Start journaling. A few friends of mine do this and have said good things about writing down what happens in a day. I definitely can’t commit to daily journaling but would like to document how each day went so hoping to start journaling.

Learn something new. I learned how to bike (!!!) in 2020 and now I LOVE it. I biked around SF when I was there, and I am looking to get a Citi Bike membership when I get into NYC. I love learning something new so would hope to do that this year as well. Some ideas off the top of my head are: learn a new language (Spanish, Chinese or French?); creating/producing music

Other more miscellaneous resolutions: be more knowledgable on skincare; keep in better touch with friends; stop thinking about the past; start investing more and taking better care of my personal finances.

Here’s to a better and healthy 2021... may the light at the end of the tunnel come to fruition soon.

#2021 #resolutions

6 notes · View notes

tyranttortoise · 5 years

Text

Answered Asks Below!

*All right, so I got through some easy SSLL asks and general asks, so if you got a tag notification, it probably means you sent me an ask months ago, and I’m just now getting to it. Sorry about that!

I’m gonna put all of them under a cut, with also just some thoughts on the past few months, too!

I wasn’t very active on here last year, and man, that sucks! I really do wanna get back to it. I felt like my words had been taken from me. I’d get un-depressed long enough to write, and then something would happen to send me write back down the hole, all of my motivation gone.

I came back last time, and a few days later, I wrecked a scooter and ended up bleeding all over the streets of Atlanta. I’m not trying to be gross, but man, there was a lot of blood. My glasses broke and cut my eyebrow and forehead, so that just poured. If you guys ever wanna hear the full story just ask, but long story short, I ended up as a trauma in the hospital, got about 8 stitches for my trouble, and broke five ribs, my cheekbone, and my brow. So that derailed things a bit, then some friends came and stayed with me for nearly a month, and then the holidays hit. So there’s all the time from when you guys last saw me accounted for, ha.

I’m still not doing fantastic mentally, but the other day, I was drunkenly telling one of my friends that I just wanted to write, that I wanted the words again, and that I was happiest when I was actively answering asks and talking to everyone on here.

And he said, “Get paper and a pencil or your tablet or you laptop -- whatever you kids use to write.”

“I can’t,” I argued, and he cut me off.

“I’ll help you. Trust me and get it.”

And he ended up telling me what to write for some stupid UT crackfic that got me laughing and talking about the characters again, and the next morning... I just started writing until I found the words again.

And now I hope I can keep sharing them with you. <3

___________________

SSLL Asks:

I enjoyed this way more than I should’ve. xD Well done!

@crazymadkatt I’m so glad you enjoyed it! =D I’d love to do a chapter like that. It’s one of the tropes I’d been putting off because it was so common in the other reverse harem fics, but it’s been long enough now that I definitely plan on doing my take on it soon!

Oh, a real date’s coming, but let’s just say... I think you’ll like the new update. ;D

He’s a combination of both, I’d say. The cool, lazy perception of Stretch, with the gruff flirtation of Red. Wrap all that in a buried past, sprinkle in some extreme devotion to his brother, and mix in a healthy amount of low self-esteem and self-loathing that he tries to hide, and wham! Rus!

@jukovon Hi there! Sorry for the super belated reply! 8D I’m so happy that you enjoyed the fic! As for the Edge screen time... Hopefully, the latest update will help with that! ;D I don’t have a Twitter, actually. I’m not entirely sure how it works. I recently got into Instagram, and that’s been a weird learning curve, too.

Also, I just looked through your blog, and holy hell, your art is killer! <3

I know exactly what you’re talking about because I used to pretend those were real cigarettes when I was a kid. I don’t think they’d be sweet enough for him! Like, his version of the Grillby burger craving is a spider donut from Muffet’s, and he loves honey, so I think he’s got quite the sweet tooth. I also see him as wanting to roll the sucker stem in his teeth or gnaw on it, and I see those candies as breaking down/ disintegrating too quickly for that.

As much as I’d love to include them, I think my head might explode if I give anymore cameos lol. But thanks for your interest!

It’s the little details that matter. ;D Right now, Q’s the only one that gets capitalization.

Thank you so much! In the case of HT, I’ve always thought that there was a deeper story -- and the comics have recently been shedding some much needed light on that backstory, too! I’m a sucker for character development and figuring out what caused them to be that way, you know?

Also, I don’t know why, but I’m really against Crooks with braces. I dunno, I just think it’d be harder to fix than that because of monster teeth.

@imonlymildlyinsane This made me so happy. <3 When I first started writing him, so many people thought he was weird because he was kinda different from the other SF Paps interpretations, but now I kinda feel like he’s the norm. He needed an endearment like Stretch and Red, so I went with darlin’ because it’s the one I use the most... because I’m also from the South. xP Sweet Home Alabama over here. Sorry for such a belated reply, but thank you so much for sending this my way! <33

If we’re talking general Sans and Paps, yes, but SSLL Sans and Paps... they used to be, and Papyrus still keeps up with them through text/social media/functions he attends as the monster mascot, but Sans has really pulled away from his friends after the incident with the machine. Mostly because he doesn’t want them to find out -- and also wants to keep Frisk far away from Axe.

@desktopdinosaur Same skeleton time, same skeleton channel! ;D

_______________________________________

General Asks:

@kawaiiplum Thank you so much! <3 I’m so stoked that you’re still reading and still excited over the notification! x]

They’re currently closed, but if I become active again, expect that to change!

Thank you, hun! I’m glad to see you’re still around, too! =D I hope everything’s been good with you!

@messedupessy AHHH, I’ve missed you soulmate!! <333 Sorry to hear your sleeping schedule’s fucked; mine’s about to be because I’m going to start nightshift and not get home ‘til 7:30am. xP I hope I’ll be around more for realz this time, and I’m really glad to see you again!! <333 I love youuu!

@kuroshiro101 Hey Kuro! I’ve been not okay, but getting better as a good way to put it. =D And I’m absolutely in love with your icon! <3 How’ve you been doing?

@desktopdinosaur Happy New Years!! <3 I hope yours was a blast. =D

I’m stoked to see another x-ray tech Undertale fan! =D I definitely think skeleton love is a byproduct of our occupation; even before Undertale, I collected skeleton decor just because it related to my job lol. Thank you!

I’ve got you! It was this post, where I brainstormed a few scenarios. If you’ve written it, let me know! I think the credit would go to me, if you used that portion, but *shrugs* 8D You know I’m always down for anyone writing anything about stuff I spit-ball, and I’d love to read it, so sent it my way!

Hanging in there, sweetie! How about you? <3

When you’re right, you’re right. ;P

@literal-cacophony I’m sorry this response is like 3 months late. 8D But thank you so much for sending this to me! I wanted to make sure you saw that I got it. You’re such a sweetheart, and I’m so happy that my writing’s been able to help you. You guys definitely lift me up with all of these nice comments, and I appreciate it so much. <33 I hope I can start writing as much as I did back then.

#the tortoise talks #ssll asks #general asks #personal #undertale asks #undertale hc #somewhat #long text #multiple asks #i don't remember all of my tags #uh oh #oh yeah and #cw blood #tw blood #just a mention of it

57 notes · View notes

aharris00britney · 5 years

Photo

ASKS 17

umm idk what all got asked... s4s skin, castools, uploading sims, updating hairs, some compliments (thank you). oh and coupure electrique (my 2nd hair) makes a comeback; does anyone have pokemon sword and are willing to trade me some exclusives (i have shield)

Anonymous said: Hey, I just downloaded your Allison hair and it looks lovely! Just wanted to let you know that it is tagged as short hair, and not tagged for cold and hot weather, just in case you wanted to fix that.

hey! that hair came out before Seasons so anything pre June 2018 isn’t gonna be tagged there. I am going to update all the hairs I want to update (Allison is one of them) over my Christmas break so I will update it then and fix the tags + some small issues with the hair (edge splitting, specular) :)

@simmerapple said:💜💮🌷🌸✨This is the Amazing Person Award! Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of eight different people, who, in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know someone thinks you’re amazing inside and out ✨🌸🌷💮💜

thank you <3

Anonymous said: Hiya gorgeous! Wanna start off by saying that I absolutely LOVE your hairs, I have like every single one installed in my game. I love your shorter version of the long University hair and want to download it, however, I don’t want to override the EA one. Is this something I could change for myself in sims 4 studio so that it won’t override? If so, would you be willing to share quick instructions? Totally understand if it’s a no though! Keep making your beautiful work! ❤️

Anonymous said: do u plan on releasing a standalone version of your university waves hair replacement?? :0

Anonymous said: Can you make a non default replacement as well for your Universuty hair too? Have a nice day

Anonymous said: can you make that default hair replacement for discover universty non default?

Anonymous said: so that replacement hair would be an override of the one with university? is there any way we could have it as a stand-alone item?

Anonymous said: Is your university hair a default replacement? It’s super cute, but i like the original hair too and don’t wanna replace it completely. thanks in advance

i need to get around to doing it sdcfgvhb I am just so lazy. I will try and do it this week while I am on thanksgiving break and have extra time

Anonymous said: hi i hope you're doing well! i'm so sorry if this is a dumb question but how do you access the meshes so fast? can't wait to get my hands on your new hairstyles, they're very pretty!!

CASTools :) I have it linked on my resource page. If you need help learning how to do it feel free to DM me on discord. I have helped numerous creators learn how to use it lmao

Anonymous said: you honestly outdo yourself every time. thanks for spending you time to give us such amazing cc ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️ Anonymous said: Your CC just keeps on getting better and better!! I fall in love with every single one!!!

thank you so much <3

Anonymous said: It’s funny how you seem to be using dogsills hairs lately lmao. He probably forced you to get clout lmao

hjdfkshkdjf how would he force me to use them 💀💀 I just don’t have many hairs in my game besides my own so there aren’t many to pick from

@whocouldchuckwood said: I honestly cannot wait for you to release the WIP's that you showed on stream. The longish wavy hair tucked behind one ear, and that bun/ponytail with the bangs in front are just...*chefs kiss* Everything you do is stunning though. Ive never downloaded something from you and not liked it. Thank you so much for all that you do for this community. You're unbelievably talented. XO

thank youuu, lmao the long wavy behind the ears will be coming in december

Anonymous said: Could you maybe set a date when to upload your sims so you can tell us when. Just a request, it would be helpful if you could answer. Not trying to rush you. Anonymous said: One more thing, did you change the bone structure from when they were first uploaded. Are Joella Blount and Jada Burke the same person but with different eyebrows?

I am wanting to by 2019 I just have so much to do fgvhbjn plus I change them around a lot so we will see what happens. I actually made a post for Jada that is in my drafts but I hate it now

yes their bone structure is a lot different now

I honestly don’t remember. I know my red headed model is my Claire sim upload I just changed her around a bit.

Anonymous said: why did you make the pigtails style, the p**nstar pigtails. i was going to be a patreon but not for that freak crap, yuck

well I didn’t think they looked like that and I didn’t preview them as that ever so... chill

Anonymous said: Would you ever consider making a tutorial? Maybe for patrons?

I am so bad at explaining stuff and I have wanted to do a blender basics tutorial for hair but there is just so much and i am not sure anymore. You are free to DM me any questions though.

@everythingmysass said: Ugh Austin thank you king for the hairs they’re literally the only ones I allow my sims to use (esp the crystal hair bc it’s hard to find cute curly textured hairs) keep up the AMAZING work!!

<3 <3 I am glad you like Crystal lmao I rarely see anyone using that hair. Thank you!!

Anonymous said: Hi I love your sims 4 studio model it's so pretty I was wondering if you would ever consider uploading it if not it's fine I just thought I would ask

I think I have uploaded it in the comments of one of my youtube videos LMAO let me see if she is on SFS; ok she wasn’t but I uploaded her. You just put this file in your Sims 4 Studio Mods folder and reopen S4S. link

@squishybuttercup said: You dont have to answer this or anything. I just want to share that when I first switched to mm hairs my first thought was “I could start with AH00B’s hairs theyre good” and well no regrets!! Just an appreciation on how you encouraged me to develop my sim style and start to discover other amazing cc creators such as you💕 HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!

omg :( thank youu for thinking of me first lmao. my stuff is really simple compared to other stuff creators come up with. This is a late reply but have an amazing day as well

Anonymous said: Hey I love watching your twitch streams but I hear you sometimes chewing on your gum in the background and I have something called misophonia. I get really anxious and irritated when hearing people chew,nail biting,live singing,couching and so many other things. It’s something I have deal with all my life. Sometimes I really hate myself because of it.

fghjbnk this is late too but I am sorry you had to deal with that. I saw this and didn’t even remember chewing gum but i made sure not to do it on my streams after it. Sorry again <3 and don’t hate yourself bc of something like that. It it just who u are

Anonymous said: You're just cranking out theses awesome meshes. Keep up the great work!

LMAO i did so much the past few months cfgvhbn I am gonna chill in December and January i think. I did 5 hairs in june, 7 in July + some of the AxA clothing, 5 in September, 5 in October + ADA clothes, and then this month i did 5 hairs again tfgvhbjn i honestly don’t know how i managed to keep decent grades in school but so far so good :) finals in like 2 weeks and it looks promising (i hope fgvhbjn)

Anonymous said: Hey! I absolutely ADORE all of your hairs - you're my absolutely favorite CC hair creator of all. I wanted to ask if you will ever update your Coupure Electrique hair to be hat compatible? (It's my favorite hair of yours!) On another note, would it be possible to ever have a version of the Kira hair without the buns? Thank you so much for your time, have an amazing day!!

my coupure electrique hair is being replaced by Karley LMAO. look at them... ian saw the karley hair when I was making it and was like “didnt you already make that?” and he was talking about coupure electrique and like.. yup. Karley is much much much much better though

Anonymous said: This is going to be a really strange question xD. I really love how you use that google doc item index for your collabs... is there anyway you could do a small tutorial on how to do that?

I can next time I make one lmao, spring break maybe not sure don’t quote me

Anonymous said: Omg another pack!? You’re pumping them out like hot cakes, i like it.

yes

#asks

78 notes · View notes

creative-poptart · 5 years

Note

SO! Here's the thing... The 4 Sans discovered that their friend or S/O is suffering of anxiety and minor panic attack and they know they should see a therapist but they always find a reason not to, like; ''My problems are not that bad!'' ''My budget isn't very good.'' ''I'm too busy!'' ''Maybe I should try something else before going directly to a therapist.'' etc... How the skeletons would convince them to go consulted? Thanks in advance.

Don’t... Don’t call me out like this. I don’t think I have issues that are terrible (thereby quoting precisely what you said), but I know I struggle with some stuff that I might need help with? Not sure, but good gosh, you guys keep calling me out on my problems without even knowing!! How??

UT Sans/Vanilla: He’s genuinely concerned about your mental health, seeing as he walked in on you sobbing on the floor of the bathroom. The moment he walks in, though, you wipe your face and proclaim you’ll be okay, but he’s not convinced. Vanilla isn’t above using a little bribery, maybe your favorite snack or a cute item you’ve been eyeing for the past few weeks, to get you to start agreeing. If you’re going to keep making up excuses, he might resort to getting a therapist himself under the guise of needing couple’s counseling, regardless of if you’re actually dating or not. If you protest this even further, Vanilla will sit you down and talk to you, plain and simple. It’s his least favorite method of doing things, but if it’s for you, he’ll do anything. He really cares about you, more than you might initially realize. Seeing you broken down and believing that your problems don’t matter hurts more than you might think it does.

“please, don’t keep doing this to yourself. there’s a lot of people out there who care about you, and i’m one of them. you don’t have to bottle it up, there is help out there.”

UF Sans/Red: He knows all too well how it feels to be mid-panic attack while you’re sitting in a room, isolated. Red wanders into a spare bedroom, in the search for you during a small, friends-only get-together that was at his house. It was meant to be fun, but you seem to be overwhelmed by the amount of people there. You’re sobbing until he walks in, then you manage to carefully school your face into a neutral look, despite the tears on your face. He won’t immediately pry, but he goes into therapy for his own anxiety and depression, so Red recognizes symptoms that he’s been told. The coaxing he’s trying to use to get you to treatment is surprisingly gentle, urging you gently into realizing what you need to do. With each denial, he becomes more persistent, telling you that he had the exact same thoughts, down to the letter. No one would know better than he would about how it feels, so who better than he to take you to therapy?”

“look, i know i ain’t the best monster or person, but there ’re a few things i know. this? what yer doin’ right now? it ain’t workin’ out, so let’s find somethin’ that can get ’cha outta this rut, okay?”

US Sans/Blue: When you end up in his house, collapsed in his coat closet, of all places, and sobbing, he’s obviously concerned. The moment that you decide to try and flip that around on him and tell him it means nothing and that your issues are less than other people’s, Blue draws a line. He won’t stand for anyone talking themselves down like that, especially not you! The first proposition of therapy goes over poorly, so he’ll take to suggesting some other ideas in their place. Going to the gym to exercise, eating a healthy diet, and meditation are all things that he suggests, but if those fail to accomplish his ideas, therapy is brought up again. The more that you try to fight it once you’ve tried everything else, the more Blue is going to press it. There won’t be enough fight in the world to get him to back down unless you find something else that works. He cares about you, and he’s willing to go with you to each session you have.

“LOOK, I KNOW IT’S NOT IDEAL, BUT YOU’RE RUNNING LOW ON OTHER OPTIONS! PLEASE? I HATE SEEING HOW LOWLY YOU THINK OF YOURSELF ALL THE TIME.”

SF Sans/Black: He’s a lot more in tune with other people’s emotions than the vast majority can interpret from him. When you have your mental breakdown in the kitchen over messing something up and nearly breaking a dish, Black is only minimally surprised. He could tell you’ve been teetering on the cusp of sobbing for a little while, but when you basically flip a switch and tell him you’re okay, that confuses him. There’s no way you’re okay after you started sobbing like that, so he’s going to start looking into therapy for you. When you refuse his offer, telling him you don’t need it, he begins to bring out the evidence, piece by piece. Black literally keeps a log, for at least a month or two, of how many times you get close to breaking down or having panic attacks. The number is startlingly high, even by your standard, and it’s more than enough for a wake-up call. He won’t hold your hand the whole time, but he’s there for you in your first few sessions.

“NOW YOU SEE? THERE ARE TOO MANY INCIDENTS FOR IT TO BE ‘NOT THAT BAD.’ YOU NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN I CAN GIVE, AND THAT’S PROFESSIONAL HELP.”

Thanks for the ask, @mecaniquefairy!!

#undertale #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #undertale sans #underfell #underfell sans #underswap #underswap sans #swapfell #swapfell sans #poptartasks #tarts answers

78 notes · View notes

thisnerdsadventures · 4 years

Text

i accepted a job offer!

it’s been like four years coming, but now announcing the next adventure i will embarking on after college: i’m really excited to share that I accepted a full-time software engineering position at Stripe! (a mid-sized company focused on payment platforms, responsible for a large portion of e-commerce, chances are that if you’ve ever bought something on the internet, your money’s probably gone through Stripe) If you thought that this blog would die after I graduated, you were wrong haha you cannot get rid of my shit content

How it happened

The past few months have been a lot of interviewing (read: a lot), a lot of leetcoding, and a lot of managing timelines and emails. I actually haven’t slept through the night since like September because of my anxiety levels (which is really bad!!!!) so I’m really glad that this whole thing is over. My application season started in mid- to late- August: I had a goal of applying to one company every day, and I kept that up for a couple weeks. Going in, I kind of had a plan of what kind of companies I wanted to apply to - I was planning on taking my return offer originally, but I wanted a few more potential offers to have negotiation leverage when the time came, and I also wanted to see what was out there too. A couple places also reached out to me, so I followed up with them. All in all, I ended up pursuing 10 companies across big tech, a couple unicorns, and some finance firms.

Interview Hell

I have this grand idea of writing a really in-depth guide to how to do interviews + how to find internships + how to handle the system because there are a lot of weird tips and tricks that make it a thousand times easier to get a job, but only if you’re in the know (which is really dumb, as the industry is still pretty gate-keepy). But until then, I’ll just talk about what the interview process was like after this. So I heard back from a lot of those companies asking for what we call “online assessments”, which are basically timed coding tests where you have to code a solution to problem(s) in some x number of minutes or hours. These questions range from coding merge sort to coding a recursive dynamic programming solution to some optimization problem. A lot of companies send these out to everyone and then resume screen, and some might resume screen and then send these out. I admittedly didn’t prepare too much for these, I got pretty lucky and knew how to do most of the problems based off of the years of practice I’d had already (turns out coding every day for like 3 years is actually really good practice already).

A couple companies skipped ahead to the first round phone interview stage. After the online assessments, I got a wave of several first round interview requests, which are usually over the phone for an hour. One of them was a Karat interview, which is some third party, unbiased interview company, and all I remember from this was trying gauge how I did from the body language of my interviewer’s tiny Zoom screen, and I could tell absolutely nothing. It was nerve-wracking. One phone interview lasted for 20 minutes out of the hour it was supposed to take, and I thought I had failed on the spot. I did actually leetcode in preparation for these problems, and most of them ended up being easy - medium questions, usually simple applications with tricky twists, like implementing certain data structures from scratch with O(1) runtime methods. Most of these were early-mid September, squeezed into hour-long breaks in my day.

Final Round Hell

After all these, I ended up moving forward in all of those interviews to the final round, which are usually series of 3-4 video interviews, back to back, usually technical in nature. I thought the one hour phone screens were rough, but this was a real test of stamina. This is also where timing got really tricky for me, because I was trying to time my interviews such that any offers I got would align together in as much of an overlapping window as possible, so that I could negotiate offers a lot easier and see all my options at once.

Preparation for this was also hell - it was a lot of Leetcoding, a lot of interview research online, a lot of going over my stories. I vary between three main stories for all the possible behavioral questions people could ask me: the nonprofit project Amplify that my friends and I worked on, my intro CS class final project, and my previous internship project. In the end though, it was a Lot of leetcoding, I learned so much about graphs and searches and backtracking and DP, I cannot even tell you. I haven’t thought about topological sort since 2017. And somehow, some way, it actually came up in one of my interviews, and WOW i knocked that one out of the park.

My Stripe final round was actually one of the first ones I had way back in mid-September. It was four interviews back to back, three technical, and one more behavioral. I remember feeling generally confident, but not 100% afterwards, mostly just exhausted. Most of my on-sites were in early-mid October - I think I had six days of final interviews over 2 weeks, so I was literally about to pass out at all times. I was really looking forward to travelling this semester too for final rounds (I would’ve gone to New York, Chicago, SF/Bay, Detroit ..... sad). I also had several calls with career centers, people from different companies, recruiters, other info sessions, etc. I started out wearing nice clothes, but in the end, it was over for me - I was in sweats and a tshirt. In this two week period, I was lucky enough to grab a few offers - my return offer, but also a few offers from other companies, including Stripe, whom, at this point, I had given up all hope on, since they told me in late September that they wouldn’t know whether they’d have a spot for me. I remember getting the call back while picnicking with my friends, absolutely shocked I was in the position that I was.

Decision Sweat

At the end of the day, from the places I interviewed with, I ended up getting official offers from 5 places (1 of them being my return offer), 1 tentative offer (I think they ghosted me though because my deadline was too soon), 1 ghost (again, my deadline was too soon so I think they gave up on me), and 1 reject (that one was a really rough interview).

Let me be clear - I hate decision making. I am really bad with any sort of decisions. This process was worse than my college application decision. I’ll make a separate post in about a month or so detailing why I made the decision I made to go to Stripe instead of back to Google, but broadly it was because I wanted to try something new and take risks. It was a really hard decision because my last internship was really awesome and I loved the team I worked on, but ultimately the lack of a guarantee of returning to that team and the allure of working at a new place was too much to overcome. I talked about this every day with my friends and family and mentors, I made a whole decision matrix, but at the end of the day, I did end up flipping a coin on Facetime. Stripe was tails, and the coin flipped tails, and then I screamed and went to sleep. so that was that

I really have to thank the people in my life for bearing with me during this period - I think I must’ve been really obnoxious with how much I was talking about it, but I’m glad that they were there to hear me out every time I flipped my decision. And more generally, my friends and family were the reason I got through MIT, and did all the cool things that I talked about in my interviews and pushed me to learn and strive for the best. And most importantly, they’re the ones who celebrate my interests and accomplishments and push me to try new things. [this whole blog post is one sappy rant about how much i love my friends and how they got me to where i am ok end rant end post]

#what should i tag this now that im out of college #SWE

2 notes · View notes