#literally just give a 'you are restricted from interacting with this post' message PLEASE

[public-trans-it-deactivated20240]

Me sitting here for 5 minutes straight confused as to why tumblr keeps shitting the bed every time I try to reblog this post, only to realize after several unhelpful "Oopsie, connection went bloop!" and "Uh-oh, we made a fuckey wuckey" messages that the reason I can't reblog it is just cause I'm blocked by the OP.

[hyuckles-chuckles]

important message

i just felt this was important to say since this has happened today and i just want to get it off of my chest to make everything clear here. this mainly has to do with minors and their activity on my blog so if you’re a minor and following this blog !! please read !!

there’s also an update about the requirements to join the discord server at the end (as well as the main reason for this post), so if you’re a minor and haven’t expressed an interest in joining the server but would like to someday !! keep reading !!

if you’re a minor (and a very young one at that), i don’t mind you following my blog. i write lots of kinds of writings on this blog such as fluff, angst, humour and most recently sm*t (it may not seem like recent but it’s the most recent genre i’ve written on this blog). as long as you’re not reading my sm*t and not interacting with any mature posts, you can follow me.

that being said, i don’t want to be mutuals with a minor. i don’t mind talking to you if you need advice or anything, but personally i don’t want to have a friend relationship with you. i’m turning 22 this year and i’m not comfortable talking to minors — specifically those that are 15 and younger. i don’t understand why you would want to be mutuals with someone who is so much older than you in the first place, isn’t it weird to talk to a literal adult? i wouldn’t know because i started creating content for this blog when i was 18 turning 19 and was always too scared to talk to any person when i was underage, so if you someone could tell me or give me their own input that would be appreciated.

and now we have the reason why i’m making this post.

some days i will receive a message from someone who would like to join my discord server and once i see that they’ve been following me (because the main reason for this server was to connect with my followers) and then i send them a link so they can access the server. since the beginning i’ve never had an issue with a member being a minor — as of last week our youngest member was born in 2006 (i know it may seem weird to have such a young person in the server but there are others born in 2005 and the age difference between other members aren’t that large).

if you remember last year, i made a poll to discuss the happenings of this server. i remember asking questions that involved your age, one of them being “if i were to put an age restriction on this discord server, would you lie?” and even 83.3% of people said that they were 18+, i opened up the server to everyone. 5.6% of people answered 16/17 and 11.1% of people answered 15 and under. and even though there’s no age restriction on the server, someone felt the need to lie to me about their age.

a couple of days ago, i received a message from this person and they asked to be mutuals. i said ‘yes’ and asked for their age and they told me their ‘age’ which was of a young teen (i won’t reveal the age that they told me). since they wanted to be mutuals and i felt bad i wouldn't be able to provide them friendship, i asked them if they’d like to join the server considering there are young minors already there and they said ‘yes’ because they wanted to make friends. upon joining the server, there is a channel where you give some info so other members can get to know you (name/nickname, bday, url, etc.) they went onto tumblr to tell me that they were actually a year younger than the age they told me at first since the chinese new year had just occurred and i understood that and still let them be a part of the server.

but while i was asleep this morning they sent me another message. they informed me that they lied to me about their age, telling me that they were even younger. their reason for lying was because they were afraid that i wouldn’t accept them — and i wouldn’t have because their age is far too young. they lied to me twice about their age: the first time when i asked for their age, the second time when they introduced themselves in the server. now, i don’t understand why this person wanted to lie about their age to an adult, maybe to make more friends but there are plenty of people on this site who are around their age.

if the person this section is about is reading this, i want you to know that i’m not mad at you. i would just like for you to think before talking to anyone online — especially people over 18+ because they can get into trouble. it didn’t happen here, but the person you’re talking to behind the screen could be a complete creep.

so now for this reason i have an age restriction on my discord server. if you’d like to be in the server, you have to be 16 and over. i’m sorry to those that are younger than 16 that would have liked to join the server eventually, but i think this is for the better. and to those that are younger than 16 and are in the server, don’t worry about your status in the server, you will just be the youngest people in the server. in future i will be more careful when accepting people into the server, but i hope that those that want to join don’t disrespect my wishes for the server by lying to me. it hurts my feelings as i’ve never told a lie on this blog in my almost three years of being here.

anyway, i hope everybody understands my wishes and have a good day/night 💗

[renlimotroll]

BinTRoLL guidelines!!

Today, I tried to translate (with the help of some friends) the Bintroll guidelines. I've always been meaning to do it but I always forget. 😅 Please read below!

-ABOUT-

��� What is BinTRoLL?

It's a laid-back Let's Play group launched by Siruko.

We won't do anything else but to have fun playing.

We said we won't so we won't.

-GUIDELINES-

■ A Request From BinTRoLL

Please refrain from using BinTRoLL's copyrighted works (videos, images, etc.) beyond the scope of private use.

Let's keep good manners and have fun interacting and creating.

■ About voice actor Hanae Natsuki and Hanae Natsuki channel videos

It is not under the category of the BinTRoLL guidelines.

Please follow the rules of the person himself or of Across Entertainment to which he belongs to.

-Q&A-

These are the questions and answers that have been given so far.

Please take note that we may post the questions from everyone as they are.

Q: What is the extent of private use, distribution and sales? 

A: There are no strict rules as to what private use may entail,

You can make it yourself and enjoy it privately, give it to your family and friends as a present, publish the pictures (images) on your personal SNS such as Twitter, and so on.

Regarding distribution, it refers to the unspecified number of third parties that has been licensed.

Regarding sales, it refers to the act of making profit such as money.

Q: I want to create derivative works using the characters of BinTRoLL.

A: There are basically no restrictions. We look forward to your masterpiece.

Q: I want to distribute and sell doujin works.

A: There are basically no restrictions on doujinshi and doujin goods,

Please refrain from distributing or selling official works or works that can be mistaken as official ones.

Q: I want to create works that partially uses official works such as tracing, printing, and clipping of videos.

A: There is no problem as long as it is for private use without distribution or selling.

Q: Are BL and Ero-Guro safe?

A: BinTRoLL members stated that they don't particularly mind being the subjects (of such works).

However, some viewers may be underage or uncomfortable with it, so,

It would be helpful if you refrain from including R18 elements in public as much as possible.

Q: Why the sudden guidelines?

A: Because we didn't establish our policies, it caused our viewers to have some conflict of opinions.

BinTRoLL doesn't want viewers to feel uncomfortable.

We have created guidelines so that you can have as much fun as possible without worrying about anything.

Click this for the original post!

Author’s Notes:

*Definition of some terms:

Derivative works- anything (like fanarts or fanfiction stories) that has copyrightable elements

Doujin works- you may have heard of doujinshi! 同人 (doujin) literally means 'people of shared interests', so doujinshi means a self-published magazine that caters to a specific group of people. Bintroll used the term 同人作品 (doujin sakuhin).

Ero-Guro- エログロ (eroguro) is a Japanese term based on the english words 'erotic' and 'grotesque'. It mainly refers to works that has elements of horror/gore and sexy/erotic scenes.

*Some additional information: (these are my own words based on previous statements from BinTRoLL)

× Please refrain from DM-ing Siruko-san, as he has said that important messages get pushed down.

× Depending on the streamer's rules, it causes some conflict when you mention BinTRoLL names in other streams. For example, Mintosu-san has strict rules about mentioning other streamers, but Limone-sensei doesn't mind. However, some fans may feel uncomfortable if other streamers are mentioned in the stream they are watching (ex: "Siruko-san started streaming now!", "Siruko-san did this and that!") It's a difficult area to navigate, so for me I'd rather not mention BinTRoLL in other streams as a general courtesy. If the streamer brings it up, it's all good. Still, it depends on the streamer themselves.

× Try not to ask too personal questions. Out of all of them, Siruko-san is the most likely to answer personal questions, but other members? Not so much. Try not to ask Siruko-san for other member's personal information too. A good rule of thumb is to let the members bring up the information then follow up on it rather than outright asking them (do not DM for the love of gods!)

× Believe it or not, people do actually ship BinTRoLL members (like me! teehee!) Some post FAs and fanfiction (believe me, I’ve seen both Japanese and Korean ones) Bintroll shipping is termed "nmmn" in japanese; it’s kinda like they're not just 2D charas and they're real, so shipping is hidden and found only by fujoshi fans. Of course we know it’s just our imaginations, and we know the limitations and boundaries. There’s a thin line of shipping real people, and we know better than to cross the line. That’s why I started this tumblr, after all, because I can never comment on YT or tweet so much about shipping, especially that public. All my shipping posts will be tagged as such and will have warnings, so you can steer clear of that. But just so you know, BinTRoLL said it’s fine to make BL, so if anyone comes to me criticizing my shipping posts, I’ll slap the BinTRoLL guidelines in their face. 😆

× Please, and I cannot stress this enough, do not pressure the members to appear. Remember, they do streaming for fun; they do have lives and work outside of this. I get what you feel, you have a favorite member and you want to see that member all the time, or you want to see them in complete attendance, but don't be greedy. I've been a fan long enough to always see questions like, "Where is this member?" or "This member hasn't appeared in a long time." and some push it to the extreme and DM BinTRoLL (yikes!!) Let the members appear when they want to and be content with it.

Let me tell you my observations. Mintosu-san is not the type to talk about himself, so you might notice he only appears to play games. He has his own MCup with his fans every Saturday too. Then, there was a time when Ichihachi-san was busy with his real life (I call it The Great 18san Drought), and during that hiatus many fans always asked where he was. Even Hakotaro-san gets these questions, and he is the type to prefer working behind-the-scenes.

Now, let me tell you why it's better to let them be from my past experiences. Whenever Mintosu-san appears in the videos, the feeling of great joy from the surprise is amazing. It's like, "Hallelujah! YATTA!!" When Ichihachi-san came back, everyone had a field day and kept rejoicing. It was a party! When you, out-of-nowhere, hear Hakotaro-san's greeting during a livestream, you'll just suddenly go "AAAAAH!!!" and it's the best feeling ever. The feeling of being pleasantly surprised is nice, because you don't expect anything so you were never disappointed. It's better this way, trust me. After all, everyone performs better if they're not pressured, and BinTRoLL are people too like us, so it's better to let them do their own thing and enjoy whatever content we get.

× Siruko-san has mentioned that it's okay to comment or chat in English (or any language), which is great for us international fans! He said that he's not that good in English (although I believe he's good enough) that he may not always understand it though. However, and these are my own opinions, please remember this before chatting and commenting in English.

Use simple english that's easy enough to understand.

Do not use sarcasm. It does not translate well.

Always, always be polite. Choose your words carefully.

Why do I say this? Sometimes I see English spams and I cringe. The difference between cultures can be great sometimes, and Japanese is known for the politest way of speaking, and they are often straightforward with their words. It's better to be careful than accidentally offending someone, right?

× Regarding distribution and sales of official works, this may be a gray area and it's difficult to explain. For example, you can use BinTRoLL character images which are the intellectual property of the creator Hakotaro-san and by extension of Bintroll, to tweet or even to screenshot and DM it to other people to discuss. You can also clip video highlights and share them on your sns. I think that the moment you profit from it, for example, selling keychains and mugs with official Bintroll art, or re-uploading whole Bintroll videos on youtube or other video-sharing websites, is where you violate the rules. As long as your use is for community-base and personal use, you're safe, but when you gain something official from it (like money or subscribers), that's not allowed.

BinTRoLL members are one of the kindest people ever. Siruko-san always hearts and reads comments on their Youtube, and he also used to like or RT every fanart and even follow back his followers (but he can't do it right now as Twitter almost froze his account). They even read the names of superchat donators at the end of each stream even if they don't really have to (and sometimes it takes hours!) That’s why I hope people won’t abuse their kindness. I hope people follow the guidelines (seriously, it's not that hard) and do not cross the fan line so that we can all get along with each other! In everything you do or say, remember to have manners and be kind, and surely you'll enjoy even more. ^^ 🥰

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! I may not know everything about Bintroll, but I'll do my best! Let's all follow the rules and guidelines so that we can enjoy all the videos and live streams to the best we can. Have fun watching and interacting! Have a nice day~  🌻 Think before you click!

[kinghoranshit]

Tell Me a Lie (NH) Ch 3

Word Count: 2,065

Warnings: Swearing

I snapped a pretzel in half and munched on it. I dipped the other half into the small jar of peanut butter and popped it into my mouth before I flipped the piece of paper to the other side. I was deep in editing mode for Stone Cold. 

I had talked to my manager about the upcoming events since there were red carpet dates already locked down for later that year, and she approved them, along with congratulations on the romance. But I was not able to get any definitive days off to truly work on Stone Cold, so I was still back to my weird schedule to get it finished on time. 

Out of bad habit, I clicked my power button on my phone and looked at the screen for anything to distract me for a short second. There was a message from Niall. 

N: Yoo, it’s go time . 

L: Really? What about publicity photos?

N: This is gonna work better . I’m gonna use one of our old selfies . 

L: Haha You mean from backstage in Chicago? That was like 6 months ago... 

N: It’s the only recent once we’ve got , Kelly . 

It’ll work 

L: I guess you’re right.

N: I am (: 

Be ready for it . 

Now, an Instagram notification came up and I already knew who it was from. I pulled down my notifications bar to see it and tapped it. I swear my heart stopped at the caption. 

@NiallOfficial: You know I don’t like lying to you all, but I’ve kept this a secret . For the sake of wanting our first few months to be only us . Well , those few months turned into a full year . I couldn’t be happier with this woman ! She makes me feel like I’m on cloud 9 . She even makes the golf losses better haha

He’d also tagged me. It was another requirement for social media; all posts had to be tagged. I was suddenly super nervous. This was actually it. There were so many new follows, likes, and comments on my account, and people were commenting congrats underneath Niall’s; though it wasn’t hard to miss a few of the mean wishes. 

K: So…. this is really it?

N: Yup . You got this , Kelly !   

K: There weren’t that many restrictions to the socials, surprisingly…

Do I have to follow people back? 

N: Haha no ! Follow who ya want 

K: Cool

A Twitter notification popped up on my top bar. I pulled it down to see Niall had tagged me in a photo there as well, and it was similarly worded to Instagram. At least it wasn’t a total copy and paste, that wasn’t necessarily Niall’s style. The Twitter notifications also started to flow in and I knew there had to be some way to filter them or this was going to be overwhelming.

K: Please tell me there’s a way to filter the notifications 

N: Absolutely , under your settings there should be a way to just get ones of people you follow 

If you get verified , I’ll help you with those 

K: Who said anything about me getting verified? 

N: Kelly , don’t act so cavalier love . It’ll happen eventually . 

I’ll walk you through it , I had Modest to help me and you’ve got me to help you

K: Duh duh DUHHHH

N: Okay , if you don’t want it I won ‘t give it to ya 

K: You know you will anyway

You loooove me 

N: Augh

You’re right 

***

I finally gathered the courage to thoroughly go through my Twitter notifications. I figured that the most recent ones may not be necessarily nice since I had been MIA for a few days after Niall’s initial post. But could they really blame me? I didn’t think so. 

My Twitter followers went from literally 450 to 38K. Just cause I was Niall’s “girlfriend”? That’s just… I couldn’t lie, I never followed the boys’ girlfriends or PR girlfriends, whatever they were to them. I didn’t have much to say to this. 

I decided to make a tweet first before doing anything else. 

@kellygarden: Sorry I’ve been MIA y’all. About to get interactive though! How about a Q&A? Hashtag #AskKelly :) 

I used the time of people asking questions to go through some of those following me and follow a few. And when I say a few, I mean a few. I might do a follow spree at some point and do a hundred or a couple hundred people. 

I about shit my pants seeing some of those who were following me that I was already following. Like Tom Holland, all the 5SOS boys, the other lads from One Direction, and Selena Gomez. Holy shit. What? Why? I was having a hard time believing this, but I couldn’t stop a smile from crossing my lips. So unreal. 

I searched my hashtag now and looked at some of the questions, replying to some. 

@Fuckmeniall: @KellyGarden Was it love at first sight? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Fuckmeniall First off, love your @ . It was more like love at first coffee - we met at a cafe in London :)

@DamagedQueen: @KellyGarden Hw old r u? Wt do u do? #AskKely PS luv ur layout<3

@KellyGarden: Aww thanks so much! I’m 24 and a novel editor for a publishing house in London. 

@Jocylnbitch: @KellyGarden I don’t really like you, but I have a question about Niall. What’s he like in bed? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Jocylnbitch: Glad to hear your opinion about me. And I don’t think that’s any of your business. 

@Rylanroll: @KellyGarden R u a virgin? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Rylanroll Are you old enough to be asking this question? But no, I’m not.

@Hannable: @KellyGarden If you could clone yourself, would you? Why? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Hannable I would. As selfish as this is, I’d have my clone to do my work so I could go see the world and be with Nialler.

@Uplousass: @KellyGarden Have you met the other boys yet? Freddie? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Uplousass Props for the @, I’m dying! *laugh crying face emoji* I haven’t... and I’m not going to force any of them to meet me if they choose not to. 

@NiallOfficial: @KellyGarden How far are you up my ass? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @NiallOfficial I would be Hella far up if you weren’t so far up mine already :P

@Michael5SOS: @KellyGarden CAN I MEET YOU?! ASDLFKAS #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Michael5SOS DLKASLGA YEAH IF YA WANT 

@lukecummings: @KellyGarden Have you ever written fanfiction? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @lukecummings I have, but they’re cringy af. I’m not kidding on that. They will never resurface the web. 

@Astheticnolan: @KellyGarden What are you favorite smells on earth? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Astheticnolan COFFEE, books, rain, You&I perfume, flowers, Niall’s cologne

@Haywire: @KellyGarden What’s your music taste? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Haywire My music library is on crack. I could be listening to 1D, then it could go to Skillet, Ed, Counting Crows, M83, etc. It’s a wide range, except no Country.

@Luke5SOS: @KellyGarden Is that lame band 5SOS not in your music library? :(

@KellyGarden: @Luke5SOS Pft yes, yes they are in my music library. It’s full of lame bands lmfao

@Daylight5SOS: @KellyGarden Have you talked with the other boys? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Daylight5SOS Yeah, Louis. 

@Louis_Tomlinson: @KellyGarden Do look forward to officially meeting you. Freddie son says hi.

@KellyGarden: @Louis_Tomlinson I look forward to it as well. Stay safe you two x.

@Penofhope: @KellyGarden Favorite genre to write? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Penofhope Fiction. YA. Mainly Fantasy and Sci-fi. 

@Clotheswhore: @KellyGarden What's your aesthetic? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Clotheswhore By your @ I’m going to assume you mean my clothes aesthetic? I’d say it’s a little bit of everything - I can’t stick to one thing lol

@Niallsride: @KellyGarden Do you drive? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Niallsride I do. Both car and motorcycle/bikes.

@Monaymaker: @KellyGarden Do you drink? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Monaymaker I do socially.

@Harry_Styles: @KellyGarden I look forward to meeting you. Niall is a lucky guy. All the love. H. #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Harry_Styles Thank you so much, H! Soon I hope x.

@Horanyass: @KellyGarden How many kids do you want? Gender ? Would you like to have them with Niall? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Horanyass 2 or 3, any gender, and if I happen to have my kids with Niall then I’d be happy about it :)

@Styleskid: @Kellyiebabes Fave bromances of 1D and 5SOS? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Styleskid All the ones with Luke and Niall, Cashton, and Lilo. 

@5Saucelove: @KellyGarden Pancakes or waffles? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @5Saucelove Waffles all the way! X.

@Horanhasmyheart: @KellyGarden Have you heard any songs off Niall’s upcoming album? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Horanhasmyheart Nope, he’s super secretive about it. I’m gonna be just as shook as all of you! Looking forward to it! 

I looked at all the ones I answered, smiling a bit at a few of them. I didn’t realize how many I answered or how much time had passed. I had to be on a work call soon, which could go until midnight because of the time difference. 

@KellyGarden: Gotta get back to work. Thank you all for the questions! I’ll be doing another one of these soon, yeah?

I didn’t wait for any of the replies before I locked my phone and set my laptop up for Zoom. 

***

I huffed, observing the cherry patterned and floral dresses in my hands, and the pile of other choices I thought about taking to LA. I was so indecisive right now. How many outfits did I really need? Five days worth, but on top of some clothes for clubbing possibly, and pjs. But if I packed something I didn’t want to wear, I didn’t really want to wear the same thing. Why was I like this?

I huffed once again and flopped down onto the mass. I leave tomorrow and need to get this sorted out. After another half hour of stalling, I willed myself to get back up and actually pack. I decided on six solid outfits, on top of one clubbing fit and pjs. It seemed like the safest route.

N: Get in loser , we’re going to see Paps 

K: Hah hah like oh my god they don’t even go here 

I finally just packed. How’s LA? 

N: Kelly, you’re such a procrastinator 

LA is ready for you 

K: But I don’t know if I’m ready for LA 

N: Ooo so cliche , you’re both ready. 

See you tomorrow x

K: See you tomorrow xo

***

As much as I’d love to say I could handle getting myself to my flight on my own, I couldn’t. I hadn’t flown in a few years and that had been with a group of others. I was flying by myself now, and I have to do all the checking in and such as well. 

I took a deep breath as I approached the security check line. I set my purse and backpack in one bin and my duffel in another before setting them on the metal rods that would take it through a detecting machine. I waited for the woman to wave me through the detecting machine, and I went through fine. I mean, I didn’t have anything that would set it off. 

Once my stuff came through the other end of the metal rods line, I grabbed it and put the bins in the pile that was started. When I started walking away to find my gate, I realized I was stupid to be so nervous about going through the line. 

Finding my gate wasn’t hard. It helped that the Cedar Rapids Airport was small. There’s like eight gates. I settled myself in a seat to wait until boarding was called. I took my phone out and busied myself with Instagram and Tumblr; I just scrolled through my feed, liking and reblogging stuff. 

“Gate B is now boarding. If you are first class, you have a separate line. If you are G1 for the coach cabin, you can now board.”

That was me. 

I took another deep breath, grabbing my three bags, and I walked over to the woman. She took my ticket, ripping off the part she needed, and then handed it back to me. “Enjoy your flight.”

“Thanks,” I replied. 

I walked through the terminal and onto the fairly small plane. It was more of a jet. I found my seat and settled everything. I followed the directions given by the fly attendant as I waited for the plane to actually take off, and finally, we moved to be on the runway and ascended into the air. 

Next: Ch 4

[Masterlist]

[jackkodiac]

Oh boy this is fun. Extremely long post ahead. Beware of ooc drama.

@holydestruction

"If someone has an issue with another mun, please do not send yourself ‘‘anons’‘ or have your friends send ‘‘anons’‘ as an excuse to try and attack/punish other muns."

Neither I myself, nor any of my friends know who sent the ask. I avoided answering it for 3 days because Ollie and I had not finished discussing the final outcome. I went into Ollie’s DM’s SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE of this ask to try to finally clear the air and have some kind of answer. The ask made me uncomfortable, and the 2 previous ones had as well. It had been sitting unanswered for 3 days before everything blew up. 

"Once someone has blocked me I keep it at that and respect their wishes, and i normally don’t give a fuck about the petty vagueposts on here--in fact, check my rules for how i generally approach situation."

Please show me where I apparently vagueposted about anyone??? I didn’t even tell my closest friends about the problem until today (5/2/2020) when I was informed of this callout post, let alone make vague public complaints about you OR Ollie. I blocked you knowing you would likely block me soon anyway. 

"However, if someone is coming up to me saying that people are posting things like this, and bringing private matters public while spreading misinformation then I’m going to respond."

No I’m pretty sure I didn’t air any dirty laundry, unlike you? I spoke the truth; in the end I did not get a choice. I got an ultimatum. And I dropped the subject after that ask. Good to know you have someone stalking my blog for you though.

You posted a screenshot of my ask response; a request to have the subject dropped bc I was hurt by a situation I couldn’t do anything about. How horrible of me.

"Hi yeah since you blocked me and Ollie is rarely on Tumblr any more cause of this exact shit right here, and you’re trying to vilify the mun OVER FUCKING WORD BARBIES, I’m stepping in to tell you top stop playing the fucking victim when I have chat logs of you trying to hold Ollie emotionally hostage."

Like I said, I blocked you knowing you would block me eventually anyway. I blocked him too, because I figured the same thing. He specifically stated to me in his last Discord message, and I quote: “After this conversation, I really do think it’s best that we don’t talk again.” So I blocked you both to deter the possibility of accidentally engaging with either of you again. As. Requested.

Also, it hurt knowing you have full reign to npc his character when I was denied even the possibility of npcing a *background relationship*. So yes. I blocked you. I could not forsee us ever interacting in a positive manner, so I cut my losses.

I am not sure how you think I’m “playing the victim” as if I wasn’t also hurt by his words and actions? There were no winners in this argument and you blaming all of it on ME is the actual vilifying.

Also good to know that wanting to talk about something instead of being told I have to end it on the spot with no explanation is “holding someone emotionally hostage.” I guess I will just have to avoid discussions with people ever again bc talking ooc is evil now!

"Ollie tried multiple times to contact you over this issue because they wanted to stay in contact."

This is actually true! Ollie contacted me to talk about general things as well as the topic of our characters a few times over the last month. I did the same thing just as often. He would contact me to say hi and ask how I was doing, we would small talk. I would contact him to show him pictures of my cat bc he liked them! We would small talk. Occasionally we actually would start to discuss things. Then we would either get busy, go to sleep, or have to go to work, and the discussion would end. Other times we had to stop because one or both of us was too stressed out over various factors and the topic was strenuous.

"Every time, you brushed them off begging Ollie not to have them break up because, as you stated, that was the only thing you had to look forward to that made you happy."

I did not brush him off EVERY time. Sometimes we started to get somewhere. He asked to stop talking just as often, if not more times, than I did. And while I did say the ship was ONE of the only things I was looking forward to, I did not say it was THE only one. The epidemic has been stressful on everyone, and with both of us being “essential workers” the external stress is even harder. I enjoyed having something to talk about when I got off of a hard day at the warehouse. I wasn’t ready to let go of that when HE even offered to have them work it out in the first place. 

"You then ghosted them for days that rolled into weeks, and Ollie would have to contact you AGAIN."

Correction: I left Ollie ALONE for days at a time, after he would request it. He would leave my messages unanswered just as often? But I didn’t complain about it, because that is something he has always done. We don’t always have time to stop and talk. He would get stressed out and I would drop the subject AT HIS REQUEST until he brought it back up. I think that is actually considered respecting someone’s space.

"Do you know what that is, acyl? That’s putting the responsibility of YOUR HAPPINESS onto OLLIE over a FUCKING ROLEPLAY SHIP, ACYL."

And yet, his choice to make both of us retcon/cut down months of character development between both our muses ISN’T putting the responsibility of HIS happiness on ME? Ok. If you say so.

"Ollie explained to you now stressful and anxiety inducing roleplaying had become, and how miserable they were roleplaying this character for reasons that I’m not getting into and don’t matter right now. The point is, ollie explained how they felt."

And just as many times, I expressed that he did not have to continue writing. He said he was leaving tumblr and going to restrict rp to Discord. I said Ok I can work with that. He said he wanted to drop the character. I said Ok I can work with that; I have had many partners drop muses or leave the rpc before, and this issue has NEVER arose in all 5 years I have been writing this blog. The characters have either been killed off by the original mun or allowed to be npc’d in a background relationship. (Ie, implied that they occasionally hang out or talk. No large modding of anyone else’s characters.) Not once has someone started a huge ordeal over this.

"You then got MAD AT OLLIE, and LASHED OUT because Ollie deleted their blog, and told them that OLLIE SHOULD HAVE CONSULTED YOU FIRST???? AS IF YOURE ENTITLED TO THEIR BLOG??"

I was never once mad at Ollie. I was shocked and hurt by the last message Vwig had dm’d to Crow on tumblr before Ollie deleted the blog. I was concerned for Ollie over what had caused this sudden change. I had just gotten off an 8 hour shift at work and seen the aftermath, and I went into Ollie’s DM’s on Discord asking what was wrong. The previous night, when the characters had been fighting, I asked Ollie multiple times ooc if he was ok. I asked if he was bothered and he told me no multiple times. He said it was all ic and he was perfectly fine. I dropped it and the next I heard from him was THAT. I asked what was wrong, what had happened. I was concerned for my friend who just previously said he was ok. He said he didn’t want to rp vwig anymore and we started to talk about what to do since he was leaving the community. Not once did I say he had to ask my permission to delete his blog. I asked why he didn’t talk to me first about what had upset him, but I did not tell him he had to have my permission.

"YOU DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS OR GET TO HAVE ANY SAY IN WHAT OLLIE DOES WITH THEIR PROPERTY, NOR DICTATE WHAT OLLIE DOES WITH A HOBBY MEANT TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AND RELAXED. YOU DO NOT HAVE THAT CONTROL OVER OLLIE."

At no point did I ever express that I did. I expressed concern over his change in demeanor. 

"You DO NOT get to do nothing but guilt trip Ollie to try and make them do what YOU WANT. You DO NOT then get to try and use anger to INTIMIDATE Ollie into doing what YOU WANT. You DO NOT get to ghost Ollie after they try to reach out, and pin the blame on them. You DO NOT get to try and vilify ollie because YOU DIDNT GET YOUR WAY."

Good to know that expressing my own discomfort, and concern is suddenly all of these things. Good to know that trying to find out why we can’t work things out all of a sudden is manipulative.

Good to know that internalizing my pain over this fight and going out of my way to avoid talking about it to literally anyone in order to avoid vilifying him in any way is me trying to make him look bad.

"Ollie stated why they were uncomfortable with you NPCing their relationship, and it is your responsibility to RESPECT it. Even if you disagree, it is THEIR CHOICE."

Just as well, I stated why I was uncomfortable with retconning months of writing and development. But apparently it is not his responsibility to respect that and try to come to a compromise. I am the one supposed to only respect him and not expect him to respect me back.

TLDR; You claim I am out here slandering and defaming someone I have never once mentioned in public about a private issue. Yet you name drop and vilify me in a callout post, yourself. You are being a hypocrite, and I would appreciate it if you did not mention me again. Have a nice day.

[healedserpent]

Rules 

This blog is a pjo-inspired oc blog, with both NSFW (mainly violence) and SFW preference. The mun is more than happy to discuss rps beforehand, or even reply to starter threads. Please message if in need of clarification or assistance, thank you!

1) Crossovers, indie rps, anything and everything is welcome! Does your character have to be from a franchise/fandom? Do they need to be only canon characters? Nope! I am more than happy to roleplay/interact with fandomless ocs, fandom-oriented original characters, and etc!

2) I will mirror replies I am a semi-literate to literate roleplayer, which means I usually can write anywhere from 2-4, sometimes 3+ paragraphs per a response. This doesn’t mean you have to bust out a novella for a reply. Please, don’t do that! I’ll give as much as I receive, if not, more!

3) Shipping is allowed. Be it single or multi-shipping, I am happy to have this guy get something going for his love life. With that in mind, any NSFW interactions with Julian are allowed and encouraged! Sexual NSFW is reserved for people and characters 18+ only.

4) NSFW or SFW roleplays are accepted. What does this mean? It’s easy: If you want a fluffy rp, we can do that. Want something steamy, or even heavy on the violent side? We can do that! I have little to no restrictions on the matter.

5) Unless otherwise stated, any roleplay posts are fair game. Meaning, if I post an intro that has the tag as “the doctor’s in | starter” or there’s no one tagged in it, then by all means, go for it! No one’s stopping you but yourself!

6) If you cannot send a meme in, please reblog from the source! It’s hard to come up with things to send in, or if the allotted content doesn’t mesh with your character. Can’t send anything in? No sweat! Just click for the source and reblog from there.

7) No God-Modding, please! Not only is it puppeting a character, it also hinders any willingness of me to participate in the rp. I understand that minor god-modding may happen, I just ask that you keep this in mind and I’ll do the same!

[illpcrish]

Rules

This blog is a side blog to @fallcnlight and an rp group blog, with both NSFW (mainly violence) and SFW preference. The mun is more than happy to discuss rps beforehand, or even reply to starter threads. Please message if in need of clarification or assistance, thank you! 

1) I will mirror replies I am a semi-literate to literate roleplayer, which means I usually can write anywhere from 2-4, sometimes 3+ paragraphs per a response. This doesn’t mean you have to bust out a novella for a reply. Please, don’t do that! I’ll give as much as I receive, if not, more!

2) Shipping is allowed. Be it single or multi-shipping, I am happy to have this guy get something going for his love life. With that in mind, any NSFW interactions with Joshua are allowed and encouraged (even though he’s, well, rather fanatic about religion)! You are more than welcome to approach me for an NSFW session, though you need to be a legal (18+ mun) adult to do this.

3) NSFW or SFW roleplays are accepted. What does this mean? It’s easy: If you want a fluffy rp, we can do that. Want something steamy, or even heavy on the violent side? We can do that! I have little to no restrictions on the matter.

4) NSFW roleplays are for 18+ mun and muses ONLY. Both for my safety and potential rp partners, nsfw is only for those of the legal age. In my case, anyone 18+. If you wish to not see these on your dash, it will be tagged with #nsfw +other appropriate tags.

5) Unless otherwise stated, any roleplay posts are fair game. Meaning, if I post an intro that has the tag as “#prayers to nothing | open starter” or there’s no one tagged in it, then by all means, go for it! No one’s stopping you but yourself, dear!

6) Please do not use me as a meme source. When I reblog memes, I am doing it to try and interact with you guys and either get to know you, or develop Joshua as a character. It’s appreciated if you can send something in before reblogging, but if not, no worries! Reblogging from the source would be great.

7) No God-Modding, please! Not only is it puppeteering a character, it also hinders any willingness to participate in the rp. I understand that minor god-modding may happen, I just ask that you keep this in mind and I’ll do the same!

If you read the rules, I wouldn’t mind if you introduce yourself via ask! No need to send anything in but it’s appreciated

Faceclaim notes:

I do not own nor am I affiliated with the photographers/person represented in any tagged pictures. I am using it for icons and nothing more. 

[freelancesumandas]

Headed towards a divorce? Learn how to choose an attorney who is right for you

Houston Family Lawyers: For the past couple of days, the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC have spent some time helping you learn how to choose a family law attorney for your divorce case. The advice that we are giving, in my opinion, is not difficult to understand. Nor does it apply to only rich people, or only less-rich people. No, this advice should apply pretty well across the board for all sorts of people. That means you. Even if you are skeptical that the advice included in this mini-series of blog posts won’t be relevant for you I hate to burst your bubble but it will be both interesting and pertinent for you and your family.

Whether your divorce attorney will be the first of the fiftieth attorney that you have hired in your life there are useful tips and tricks that can be applied to your circumstances contained in these blog posts. If you have not done so already I recommend that you go back and read what we provided to you yesterday and the day before. If you have questions about what you read or need us to clarify a point please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. We offer free of charge consultations six days a week to people in our community just like you.

With that said, thank you for your coming back to read our final installment. We will cover a few more pieces of advice starting with one that is maybe the most important- knowing how to approach a divorce with reasonable and reality-based expectations.

Reasonable expectations + honest attorney = great success (usually)

Some of the more rewarding cases that I have represented clients on have been those where the client really had no idea about what to expect in their case. I’ve had clients who believed that their spouse was going to bow down to them immediately on all issues including their children. Their view of the case was that they pushed their spouse around during the marriage and they would continue to do so during the divorce. I don’t mean this literally, of course, I just mean that they saw their spouse as a push-over and someone who wouldn’t be willing to put up a fight when it came to important issues.

Fast forward to the negotiating table and these folks often found that with a good attorney of their own, their spouse had grown a backbone and wasn’t bowing down quite like they had imagined. The facts and circumstances of their case led them to a position where they, and not our client, had advantages in dividing up their community estate and also in negotiations regarding their children. Our client was surprised, but not all that surprised because of prior conversations that we had had.

Sometimes your attorney needs to be your advocate by telling you about the rights of both you and your spouse. To temper your expectations is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact- it is usually a good things. These type of folks came into their divorce with one idea- an idea that was not particularly based in reality. Their expectations were so off base that my job was to bring them back to the real world and to help them devise a plan to achieve more reasonable goals that were actually achievable. Completely eliminating visitation time between their spouse and their children was not reasonable or warranted. However, restricting visitation to certain times, dates and places if family violence or other issues were involved was extremely reasonable.

The bottom line is that you need a divorce attorney who will advocate, fight and represent your interests in an aggressive, respectful and constant manner. At the same time, that attorney must be able to teach you about the law and to help you to understand how you can best achieve your goals. Along the way, if your attorney encounters goals of yours that are not achievable or reasonable he or she would be doing you a disservice to allow you to think along those lines without resistance.

The importance of meeting with your attorney face to face

Houston Divorce: Hiring an attorney is a personal financial transaction. It is not one that works well when you only speak to the lawyer over the phone. Now, if you live overseas or are in another situation where getting to the attorney’s office is not possible that is a different story. However, for most of us it is critical to meet the attorney face to face and to be able to size him or her up to determine what the person stands for and how well you believe that you can grow along side this person as your case proceeds.

When you learn about an attorney, you should contact him or her and set up an in person interview. This will allow you an opportunity to ask the attorney questions and to learn more about him or her. At the interview observe the attorney and how he or she talks and acts. If the attorney is looking more at her phone than at you then you may not want to hire that attorney. Learn about the attorney’s practices inside the courtroom and out. What is the attorney’s philosophy? How does the attorney view your case?

Remember that you are not being interviewed by the lawyer. He or she is asking for your business. It would benefit you to have an attorney, but make no mistake that he or she is selling you a service that they can provide you with. Be discriminating and hire only the best and most qualified attorney based on your feelings about him or her.

Look for problems with the attorney before they bite you during a divorce

The last thing you want to do is to take a lot of time in deciding which attorney to represent you in your divorce only to figure out a few weeks after hiring him or her that you have made a mistake. Many problems that clients have with their attorneys can be foreseen in the initial interactions between the two parties.

For instance, if you are contacting an attorney to see if he or she can meet with you to discuss your divorce the office phone number should be answered promptly. If you need to leave a message and receive no call-back until days later this is a sign that you probably shouldn’t hire that lawyer. Keep in mind that if you’re not getting excellent service from the beginning it is unlikely that you will receive excellent service at the end of your case.

Next, evaluate the lawyer him or herself. Lawyers are attempting to sell you their services during an initial consultation- this is the reality of the situation. However, be keen to how you are being sold. If you feel slimy during the conversation and the talk always heads back to money, signing a contract, etc. you probably ought to run for the hills.

On the other hand, if the attorney is willing to answer questions fully, engage with you in a brainstorming session where goals are created and then explains issues that are critical to your case you probably have a winner. They’ll talk numbers and finances with you too but that should be only after your questions and concerns have been addressed. A salesman or woman wants the quick cash and from then on their concerns are no longer with you. A decent, diligent attorney will want to help you solve your problems because it is the right thing to do and in the long run is more profitable for the attorney as well.

Questions on hiring an attorney for your Texas divorce? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

Divorce Lawyer Houston: If you have any questions about the material that you have read today please consider contacting the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC today. We offer free of charge consultations with our licensed family law attorneys six days a week. Thank you again for your consideration and time in reading this blog post ... Continue Reading

[haynr]

all blog info below the cut, 

apologies now to my mobile users 

RULES 

Before we interact you must…

have a properly displayed muse

have easily accessible posted information regarding your muse in a section or page

have easily accessible posted rules / guidelines in a section or page 

for AU’s, you must have posted information regarding your muse within the fandom universe in its own section or page

make sure I am following you

cut threads

I Won’t

roleplay sex, generally. there may be a few exceptions, but keep the standard that i probably won’t. sexual content, perhaps, if all muns involved are over 18. If we do, it is with the understanding muses involved will be aged up appropriately. 

tolerate any sexual advances toward myself ooc

roleplay inserts

always follow back, nor will I follow personals

tolerate pressuring, be it to rp in general or consistent pestering to answer threads

answer everything in my inbox. It’s not often I ignore asks, but I won’t answer something if it violates my rules. If I have difficulty answering something, I will privately message senders or make public inquires about anonymous messages. 

follow everyone back / interact with everyone, even if you technically follow all my rules. i’m selective. 

Please Don’t:

reblog meme asks. I don’t mind this so much, but it keeps things cleaner when they’re moved to a new post. 

reblog inbox answers for non starter memes. examples would be mun opinions and the like but extend to headcanons and other writing. violators will be asked to delete the post and may be blocked. 

reblog threads you are not a part of. warnings will be given to violating rp blogs, but personals will be instantly blocked. 

reblog personal posts, especial images of myself. violators will be instantly blocked. this means anything tagged ooc. 

force ships with me. I am a p easy going shipper, but I will be a bit more restrictive with Hayner. most of it has to do with his muse in general. he’s not thinking about romance atm. if it comes up in plot, great. if it doesn’t, you’re more than welcome to put it forward, but please do not expect me to go along with it. on that note, don’t expect me to always agree with your interpretations of my muse in ships. ideas and suggestions are fine, your own take is fine, but i cannot stress enough, please do not push hcs. 

I am open to

multiple threads

duplicates of other muses (i do not rp duplicates of my own muse, but I usually have other muses in the fandom which I will be more than happy to interact with there, no twins etc) 

shipping, though I will be highly selective, possibly exclusive. I will not instant ship, but I don’t mind developing our muses’ relationship privately over DMs. 

mutli verse and/or polyshipping as befits all the muses and muns involved

rping toxic relationships of any sort, will be tagged accordingly and placed under cuts.

angst and/or triggering threads, though I would prefer to discuss  the thread and tagging beforehand

crack threads

select AUs

ask/tagged initiated threads/starters but I ask for some warning if they are not from a meme or other prompt

responses of any length, so long as it is enough to reasonably work with for the pace of our thread

group threads

generally questionable plots. regardless of whether or not I approve of such practices ooc isn’t usually relevant. this is fictional, exploration of an idea– not a real-world execution of that idea. Feel free to DM for details.  

Please Also Note:

I do not require length to be matched and may not always match partner’s length. I will respond as much as I feel I am able to or that I feel is necessary. 

If my response is inadequate, difficult to respond to, or otherwise distasteful, FEEL FREE to ask me to redo my response.

Understand that my selectivity will depend on my comfort level and that I am not obligated to explain myself.

I tag all my threads as “thread”

I tag my partner’s url

if partner’s url changes, I will tag both old and new urls for the first response then only the new url going forward.

I generally tag triggers as “trigger tw”. same with general cw’s. i’m not the best with tagging, so let me know if I should watch for stuff in particular

my activity is generally a joke, but I’m constantly lurking, so feel free to drop a message

I am incredibly anxious. It doesn’t matter if we have late night conversations for like a month straight i will still be afraid to talk to you every. single. time. so always feel free to come whack me on the head or smth

while I can be very laid back / crack-ish, I do prefer to explore darker themes and my thread responses are much more serious than I come off as. 

Blacklisted / Ask to Tag:

food

nsfw (for general safe scrolling, just let me know what your tag is since t simply wont show not safe for wombats content anymore) 

“little space” related

“daddy,” “mommy,” etc

literally anything in this vein. in the vaguest, most removed sense. idc what you tag it. either let me know or just tag it “jade don’t look” whatever.

in fact feel free to tag any and all of these as just “jade don’t look” or some variant.

a/o/b related 

anything pregnancy related

vivid depiction of sensory / memory alteration (particularly in images, but not excluded to)

unreality (also especially, but not limited to, images)

Of course I can’t require people tag these, but I will most likely not follow you if your post these regularly and do not have some warning which will be picked up by blacklist applications.

In regards to the sensory alteration, I mean things like seeing/hearing/etc things that aren’t there, mis-remembering or outright tampering with memory, etc. It’s kind of situation to situation on what gets me, but when it does it tends to hit me pretty hard. If you have any questions about it, fire away! [ example text post ]

On unreality, this somewhat relates to the above, I use this as a catch all phrase for images, vivid descriptions, and most especially videos/gifs of things that basically don’t behave or seem to behave as they should. Sometimes, I’ve seen these things tagged as “trippy” and the like, but they those posts tend to be too…idk how to put it. Extra? What tends to get me is when things are going fairly linear and then suddenly go for a loop. That’s not the greatest description, but here’s a few posts that have triggered me the worst that I’ve slowly gotten used to.  There are also things which should seem fine or normal but aren’t. If anyone has a better description for this, by all means let me know! example posts [ one ] / [ two ] /  [ three ] + a weird image that also gets me for some reason. hmvent is actually a blog I use to store things that trigger me so I can slowly get used to them or try and figure out what it is / why these things get to me.

META 

Hayner is a young lad who resides in the sleepy Twilight Town. He is described as “impulsive and determined, and is always looking for a new adventure. He is bold to the point of recklessness…He gets bored easily during uneventful times… also easily angered/irked…thirsts for some kind of recognition…” During the events of KHII, he is 15, the same as Roxas/Sora. He has deep brown eyes, dirty blond hair and is a bit tall and, while still skinny, muscular for his age. He is the leader of his quartet trio including Pence, Olette and Roxas himself.

While he does have parents, he’s rather distant from them. While he does receive support from his folks, they were just never really there. Because of this, his loyalties lie greatly with his chosen family, his friends. He considers it his duty to help, lead and, if needed, protect them, even if he’d never admit as much even to himself. If any of his actions or ideas end up hurting someone he cares about, he takes it very much to heart, often beating himself up about it for weeks and weeks after.

Hayner, despite his hotheadedness and brashness, is a very observant leader. His tough guy act, while not entirely based on this, is partially to build himself up, make other less inclined to pick fights with him and his friends. Whether or not this works out, however, is certainly debatable. He also does his best to incorporate his friends’ wants and needs– or at least what he perceives these as– into his plans.

As oblivious as he may seem, he is quite mindful of the people around him. Whether it’s picking out the shady figure on that street corner or this one, or noticing some random kid’s not having a good day - he sees a lot of it, but often it doesn’t strike as a huge priority. He thinks things through a lot more than he’s credited for, but unfortunately, he doesn’t go through the whole process before starting his plan of action.

Hayner also isn’t exactly the most social person. He is outgoing and nice to people out of politeness and giving people the benefit of the doubt, but as a whole he’d much rather just stick with his friends. The only exception to this has been Sora, as he feels a “familiar vibe” about him, and therefore is also open to his circle of friends.

A couple more misc hcs below:

Is a very exceptional swordsman (at least with the training swords). However, his skills do not seem as outstanding compared to that of Roxas and other more major characters.

As much as he hates school, his best subject science. And although one would think he’d be a good athlete because he is competitive, he actually doesn’t have good PE grades because he doesn’t try if he doesn’t have to. The only way to get him to really participate is to make it a competition.

MORE WILL BE ADDED MARCH, 2019 TO INCLUDE SPOILERS FOR KH3

AU Info will be added shortly. 

[5hfanfiction]

Into Her Anatomy

Chapter One: Code Blue

White. How plain the white walls were that outlined the quiet hallways of the hospital with only a handful of abstract paintings and health guides posted on it. Other than that everything else around was lifeless and so quiet. It was, as a matter of fact, still too early for the day to start with the sun barely making its debut on the horizon. The buzz of the dim fluorescent above gives the hallway a more eerie feeling. Then there was the smell, the antiseptic smell that clung onto the air. For some people the hospital was a scary place to be. It’s a place of sickness, of blood, of choked up screams and of death.

For some people, yes, it was a living nightmare to be in a hospital but not for the little doctor whose dreams carved the dull hallways and sterile smell of the building. The nightmare for some was Camila’s lifelong dream.

Camila Cabello was a medical intern at South Trinity General Hospital. The internship program had very limited vacancies giving only a hundred slots to freshly licensed physicians meaning doctors without actual professional experience yet. All chosen hundred interns who did make the cut will undergo a series of assessments and training.

During the program each doctor will be assigned to a spectrum of clinical cases from a simple fever to broken bones and even brain surgery. Any intern who breaks any hospital regulations or make any detrimental mistakes will be kicked out of the program. By the end of the internship, the remaining physicians will be able to choose a field of their liking and may finally work as a resident doctor at South Trinity. It is, after all, the top hospital in the state.

It’s only been a week since Camila started in South Trinity. She was currently walking the hallway pushing along a wheelchair in which Mrs York was sitting. She was Camila’s first patient. Mrs York had kidney transplant a few days ago and is currently undergoing a series of therapy. Camila was to evaluate her recovery and make sure she goes home well.

Both of them were on their way back to Mrs York’s room when a static sound cut through the morning quietness.

“CODE BLUE. CODE BLUE. EAST WING. ROOM 727. CODE BLUE. CODE BLUE.”

A female voice announced the emergency through the speakers that were installed above every medical station. It was necessary since the hospital was big and messages needed to be relayed as quickly as possible to the nearest, available aid. The sound of rushed footsteps can be heard bouncing along the hallways not too far from Camila’s position. Moments later the code team emerges from the corner pushing a defibrillator machine together with some vials, syringes and other emergency medical supplies on a cart. The team of four wearing navy blue scrubs made their way hastily pass Camila as she went to the side to make more room.

Getting distracted with the whole running, the young doctor hadn’t notice the distressed Mrs York who was now pulling on Camila’s right white coat sleeve pulling her body down to the patient’s level. Mrs York’s torso was angled uncomfortably towards Camila with the wheelchair restricting her movements.

“Doctor, is everything okay?” Mrs York asked in whispered panic.

Camila went around the wheelchair and knelt in front of Mrs York. She took the patient’s hands within hers and squeezed them gently, reassuring her and calming her down.

“Everything will be okay.” She answered.

“But doctor what’s happening to the patient? What is a code blue?” She inquired further but more calm now.

Camila smiled knowing that Mrs York had become more talkative and curious than before. You see, Mrs York wasn’t only a patient with a kidney problem. Despite still being in her 40s, she also suffers from early-onset Alzheimer’s disease which means she tends to forget things in a greater extent. Her memory is constantly degrading. Her disease has made her more distant and reserve from most people. She doesn’t like talking to anyone but Camila for the past week. There was something about the young doctor that made Mrs York open up. Seeing now that she’s interacting has made Camila more hopeful for her improvement and recovery.

“Code blue is a medical term we use to indicate that a patient is undergoing cardiopulmonary arrest.” Camila replied but the patient’s brows corrugate even more out of confusion. Camila elaborated further.

“It’s when a person doesn’t show any signs of breathing and his or her heart has stopped from beating. It ceases to function completely. The code team will try to resuscitate the person back using the machine that they were wheeling in earlier.” Camila pointed towards the room and the wide-eyed Mrs York finally nodded in understanding.

“Does that mean that the person is dead?” Mrs York stared directly at the door. She had a calculating look on her face, as if analyzing the whole situation in her head.

“Technically, yes, but the code team will try to jolt the patient back to life and do whatever it takes to save the patient’s life.” Camila reassured her and Mrs York seems to be pleased with the answer. She looked back towards the direction of her room that was a few doors away while Camila straightened up and continued pushing her wheelchair until they finally reached Mrs York’s room.

The short walk made Camila think of the countless of unexpected circumstances that can happen in the hospital. It can either bring people good memories or bad ones. Camila, of course, was there for the good ones even though unlikely things can and will happen. She was mentally crossing her fingers for a great and steady internship also praying that she doesn’t turn into big dummy when dire situations arise.

Camila wheeled the patient in and assisted her to lie back on her bed carefully. “Get some more rest, okay?” She raised both brows waiting for her answer.

“Yes, doctor. Thank you for everything.” She took Camila’s hands within hers and patted them. “I will do as ordered.” Camila smiled and turned around to make her way towards the door when it suddenly opened. A man in a black suit and a tall brunette peering just behind him entered quietly. In that moment, Mrs York had managed to pull again the white coat sleeve of the young doctor, getting her attention. She then whispered quietly towards Camila but it wasn’t soft enough because Camila could see the man from her peripheral vision flinch at the question.

“Doctor Cabello? Who are these people?” The young doctor immediately looked at the man’s rigid posture but he only nodded at her and gave her a sad smile.

“Mrs York.” Camila started. “"That man over there is your son David and that is his wife Rosa.” She cleared her throat and subconsciously picked at the loose skin near her thumb. A mannerism she seems to have when she feels uneasy. Giving sad news like this to a patient was never Camila’s strength. It makes her feel a lot of emotions that her tiny body is trying to conceal. She wants to be able to help every patient but some cases are just too extensive that treatment becomes difficult. “They were here just yesterday.” The young doctor added.

Mrs York’s face changed from confusion to sudden realization then finally a mixture of horror and sorrow. They all stood silently until David broke the awkwardness that was starting to engulf them.

“We’ll take it from here, Doctor. Thank you very much for everything.” David sighed forlornly.

Camila knew that this has been a normal occurrence in the family lately. She gave them a smile and made her way out of the room to give the family some needed privacy.

Camila made her way back to the medical station to finish a few patient records when her phone rang inside her white coat pocket. Fishing it out, the screen displayed Dinah Jane in bold letters. She lets out a giggle and cleared her throat swiping the screen to answer.

“How can I be of service, Doctor Hansen?” Camila said in a serious tone trying to act all maturely now that she has a title to uphold. She continued walking towards the station with her other hand inside her scrub suit.

Dinah scoffs at the other end of the call making Camila pout at her failed attempt to sound professional around her best friend. “Where have you and your sexy ass been, Mila? I haven’t seen you all week since we started.” She said loudly through the receiver and yawning afterwards.

Doctor Dinah Jane Hansen was a fellow intern. They met in medical school after Dinah was caught carrying a scalpel during their first week saying she was so ready to cut something. It was total chaos because people thought she was crazy. A crowd already started to form around Dinah but far enough from her reach.

Camila was just passing by when the whole incident happen. She made her way through the thick crowd and saw a tall woman with long blonde hair brandishing the sharp apparatus at people. She walked slowly behind the crazy woman then in one quick motion she lounged at her. Left arm encircling Dinah’s neck and her right hand gripping tightly around the wrist that connected to the hand with the scalpel. Both of Camila’s legs were wrapped around Dinah’s waist from the back. With that sneak attack from behind Dinah completely lost her balance and dropped the scalpel on the floor. Camila was already down in a second and kicked the blade away from anyone’s reach. She internally thanked her father for teaching her self-defense when she was still in grade school until high school.

She now raised her hands toward the furious woman. Palms forward, motioning for the tall girl to stop whatever the heck she was attempting to do.

Her actions earned Camila a death glare that made her regret taking the weapon away from the woman. She knew she could defend herself but to what extent. The woman was huge compared to her tiny frame. But what left Camila even more confused was that a few moments after Dinah sent knives with her eyes, the woman was already laughing hysterically, bending forward crossing her arms around her abdomen and was literally laughing out loud. Oh she was crazy alright.

No one as tiny as Camila had the balls to go against Dinah’s interests and that made her laughed and nod in approval. After the whole commotion was arranged the bell rang, signalling their noon break. They had lunch together. Camila didn’t have a choice but to follow since she was already being pulled by the taller girl. Turns out Dinah didn’t really have the intention of harming anyone. She only wanted to dissect a specimen which was impossible because they were in their first semester and were stuck in lecture halls for the first few months. Since then they found so many things in common and been at each other backs, except know Camila wasn’t koala hugging Dinah from behind; Just… there to look out for each other.

Camila was laughing now at Dinah’s usual morning banter and the memory of how they fortunately or unfortunately met. “Good morning to you too, doctor. If you must know my ass and I have been busy working the night shift the whole week.” She replied then checked the time on her wrist watch. “I’ll be off by seven AM then its hello weekend for me.”

“Okay, so are you down for tomorrow? Celebrate a great first week and just relax.” Camila could sense a huge smirk from Dinah.

“By relax you mean?”

“Partying Mils.” Dinah answered quickly with a hint of duh in her voice.

“I can’t. M…”

“God. Did your life become more duller than when we were in med school or is it because you haven’t been having a little fun in bed for a while that made you this sour? Come on Mils.” Camila rolled her eyes at Dinah’s assumption that she isn’t having any type fun.

“For your information…”

“Na uh, watching Netflix and eating ice cream isn’t what I meant when I said fun in bed. You know what fun I’m referring to Mila.” She interjected quickly not making Camila finish her sentence again but she was right. Camila hasn’t been in a relationship for a very long time that she’s starting to forget how it felt to be touched, kissed, loved and all other things you do in a relationship. Dinah has been pushing her to get a little something-something for a while which she found unnecessary because she was happy on her own. Or maybe she hasn’t really been paying attention to people because of how busy she has become.

“If you would just listen for a sec then you would know why I can’t go. My mom and Sofi are coming to visit me for the weekend to check my place and shut up because Netflix and ice cream are a great combination.” She said in her defense resting half of her upper body on the counter at the station as she arrives.

“Mhmm.” Dinah said and Camila could just imagine her face with a raised brow and pointed look.

“I promise you next weekend. We can go wherever you want.” She was wiggling her brows and smirking even though Dinah couldn’t see it.

“You better not make plans next weekend. You’re all mine or else kiss your sorry ass good bye.”

“Yes, Doctor Hansen. I’m all yours next weekend. I got to go finish up now. I still need to report back to the Chief. Bye Dinah, love you.” Camila answered happily. Both of them have been very busy with the orientation and the number of patients thrown at them for supervision. Not that she was complaining. She loves doing her work. She loves helping people. It’s just that she missed her crazy best friend and their crazy adventures together.

“See you around, Doctor Cabello. Buh-bye. Love you too.”

After her shift ended, Camila went into the locker room to change and grab a few things before she goes home. A few other interns were already done changing and were now on their way out the locker room. She hangs up her white coat inside her locker and reached towards it to trace with her right thumb the South Trinity logo that was stitched in blue.

“You made it, Camila.” She uttered quietly to herself when she was finally alone. “You’re finally living your dream.” She smiled and proceeded to strip off her scrubs, folding them and shoving it inside her green duffel bag. She soon dressed herself in a pair of high-waist pants and white V-neck shirt exposing a considerable amount of skin but not too much. She then removed her black hair tie letting the thick wavy hair fall onto her shoulders, keeping the black band securely on her left wrist. Camila locked her locker and slung her duffel bag across her torso and went straight into the employees lounge room to refill her go-to-coffee mug with some hot, aromatic espresso. This has been her morning ritual for the past week after she had discovered the expensive coffee brewer in the lounge room.

She took the warm mug between her palms and went into the elevator going down a couple of floors onto the lobby. The morning sunshine was perfectly warming Camila’s skin through the ceiling to floor glass of the lobby.

There’s really nothing like ending your work shift with warmth surrounding you and a delicious cup of coffee. She thought.

She went near a biometric machine and clocked out using her fingerprint.

Camila was excited to go home. She was excited to start her weekend. She was excited to tell her mom and Sofi everything that happened since she started. It has been a very eventful week and she couldn’t wait to share her stories.

She made her way across the wide lobby towards the double, automated doors whilst taking the lid off her mug to smell the relaxing aroma of her freshly brewed, hot espresso. She moaned internally, closing her eyes in the process and just enjoyed the moment. When she opened her eyes a flash of black caught her vision and knocked her coffee causing the content to spill all over her. Did I mention it was hot because, yes, the mug was filled with Satan’s scalding lava and the said lava was practically burning the skin off of Camila.

She stumbled a few steps back and cursed a few, maybe, a handful of profanities. She had already dropped her mug and immediately pulled her white shirt away from her body to ease some of the hot liquid away and also to avoid the shirt from sticking onto her body that was starting to embarrassingly outline her black bra. When Camila looked back at the black object she instead saw a woman just turning around with a fearful expression on her face. Wait. Was she walking backwards when she was entering the automated doors? The woman turned slowly until she was completely facing her and started to move towards Camila with fear still etched all over her face and hands slightly raised in apology. Yeah, she better be scared. This woman just had to ruin what was supposed to be a start of a perfect day for Camila.

“What the fuck were you doing?” Camila yelled at her.

“I-I was… It was that…” The woman wearing a grey shirt and black pants stuttered. “I w-was just…” She pointed to the door. Camila was furious. Her skin was stinging in pain, her mug seemed to be broken somewhere on the floor and this woman wasn’t really helping with the situation. She was just closing and opening her mouth trying to form a reasonable explanation.

“Next time you enter a place, walk like a normal human being.” She said harshly to the other girl. “And you should, uhm, you should watch where you’re going.” She said the last few words quietly just realizing that she too wasn’t really paying attention where she was going since she was too invested in having an orgasm from smelling her coffee. Feeling a sudden guilt from raising her voice she just assessed her situation and looked down at her chest.

Her skin was now a light shade of red. The coffee spilled from her chin to her neck down her collarbones and soaking the whole front of her shirt which she was still pulling away from her body. She lifted her other hand to touch the affected area but was stopped instantly by a hand on her wrist.

“Don’t touch it.”

The woman was now a few inches away from her that Camila could practically smell the woman’s minty breath. The stranger no longer showed signs of fear on her face but was now sporting a very stern look. Her light eyes scanning through Camila’s face, neck and down to her exposed chest area.

“Hey, pervert. What do you think you’re looking at? My eyes are up here.” The woman immediately glanced away and gulped nervously. She then slowly dropped Camila’s hand and looked back straight in her eyes.

“I’m really sorry.” The woman said sincerely in a deep voice. Camila couldn’t help but stare back feeling guilty for lashing out. It was after all an accident. None of them wanted that to happen. “I’m sorry for stupidly running into you.” The light-eyed woman continued. “I’m sorry for destroying your unicorn mug.” She pointed at it on the floor. “I’m sorry for ruining your shirt and I’m sorry for probably ruining your day but I’m not a pervert miss. I was just checking the damage I had done. Let me help you please?” The stranger leaned closer to her so she was levelling her eyes down the petite doctor’s eyes and waited patiently for Camila’s approval.

Camila opened her mouth slightly but just nodded. She was now filled with a mixture of awe and embarrassment. She was a doctor now. She should’ve handled the situation professionally. The moment she gave her approval the woman quickly took her duffel bag off of Camila’s body and flung it across hers instead. Her hand then snaked around Camila’s waist and pulled her towards the ER (Emergency Room) that was a door away from the lobby.

Once there, the stranger went straight to the station pulling Camila along with her. She instructed a couple of nurses for a bunch of medicine but they all just looked at her confused. No one seemed to move at the request. The light-eyed woman sighed trying to calm herself down from the lack of response and looked around and saw Camila’s ID tucked in her duffel bag’s pocket. She pulled it out, inspected it and presented it to the nurses. They all understood that Camila was indeed part of South Trinity and gave them the medicines that the stranger asked them to.

The stranger took the medical tray with its contents and continued pulling Camila around her waist towards an empty bed. She pulled the curtains close for privacy and turned towards Camila. She was so close that Camila could see the tiny dark flecks swimming in her light eyes. She was in a daze. So much was happening that she couldn’t process everything all at once. Maybe it was because of the quick change in the stranger’s fearful expression to an authorative demeanour that took her off guard. Maybe it was the deep, raspy voice that tickled her ears. Maybe it was her dark hair and beautiful face with moist, pink set of lips. Or maybe it was the strong arm around her waist that made Camila’s bones melt. She couldn’t pinpoint it out but Camila was in a blissful daze.

Camila felt hands on both sides of her waists and the stranger was stepping in closer. The hands gripped tighter and she let out a small gasp. What were they doing? She was pulled back from her reverie when the stranger suddenly carried her onto the bed. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. All her senses were heightened. She almost forgot about her burn until the stranger instructed her.

“Strip your shirt off.” She looked at Camila seriously. The young doctor instead balled her fists at the hem of shirt.

“N-no. What are you trying to do?” Camila was now the stuttering mess. She was nervous. She couldn’t understand why such absurd request was making her feel uneasy and excited at the same time.

The stranger’s eyes widen in realization. “Oh no, miss. You misunderstood. I don’t mean to do you any more harm than I already did. It’s just that… It’s easier to put on the medicine instead of pulling your shirt down which might irritate your skin even more.” She rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

“O-okay. Sure.” Camila nodded slightly then look at the stranger straight in the eye. She extended her arm with her pointed finger creating a circular pattern. The woman got the signal and turned around on her heels immediately. There was a bit of shuffling on the bed and Camila cleared her throat.

When the woman looked back Camila had her shirt off her body and it was now bunched-up in front of her, hiding her chest from the stranger. By now her heartbeat was beating a thousand times per minute. This isn’t right. This was a stranger for crying out loud and Camila just willingly stripped for her. Maybe Dinah’s craziness was already rubbing on her. This was beyond insane but Camila didn’t stop the stranger, she just let the whole thing flow.

The woman was now walking towards Camila. She dropped the duffel bag on to the bed and took the medicine. She grabbed an empty container and squeezed the content of the ointment tube in it. She then mixed a couple of pinch of white powder from a packet plus a few drops of normal saline. She took a tongue depressor and stirred the medicinal concoction. It was weird for Camila because the ointment was already for the burn but the stranger added a few other more ingredients to it. As if reading Camila’s mind the woman informed her.

“It’ll heal faster and will hurt less compared to dabbing the ointment alone. A friend of mine taught me this trick.” After mixing it she dipped two of her fingers into the now white cream and raised it near Camila’s neck. Camila nodded for her to go on and gulped once more.

A sharp gasp escaped Camila’s lips when the cool cream was being spread all over the left side of her neck where most of the burn was. She closed her eyes as she revel in the feeling of comfort as the pain was being wiped away by soft, careful fingers. She subtly bit her lower lip when the woman’s fingers proceeded to massage the sensitive area around her pulse point. The gripped Camila had on her shirt tightened even more and she tilted her head to the other side to give better access for those magical fingers.

Camila swallowed hard when she felt soft massaging tracing her left collarbone. She slowly opened her eyes when the stranger pulled away to get more cream. Camila was already missing the smooth sensations that send her senses to overdrive. She took a closer look at the woman while she focused in the cream in the small container.

The woman had her brows knitted together in concentration. Her bottom lip trapped between her teeth then her tongue stuck out to wet her lip all the while Camila had subconsciously followed the stranger’s movements, bite then lick. When the woman looked up and met Camila’s gaze, it was then that the young doctor knew she had a certain attraction for the stranger. It was definitely the stare that gave it away.

The woman broke the eye contact first and dabbed more cream onto the heated skin. After a few moments of light caressing, massaging the stranger slowly and torturously pulled down Camila’s left bra strap to the side. Her breath hitched in her throat and closed her eyes. She was enjoying this although she would never admit it to herself, she was. When the hand that was spreading the cream traveled downwards onto Camila’s top breast mound she instantly sat up straight.

“I think I can manage from here.” Camila managed to say with her shaky voice and looked at the woman directly at her face that was mere inches away from her own. The stranger’s eyes were now darker than before, the tiny flecks gone and was now drowning in the dilated darkness but Camila looked away before things get out of hand. The woman took a step back and again rubbed the back of her neck.

“I’m really sorry, miss.” She closed the container and handed it to Camila. “Apply this every eight hours and it’ll be better in no time. Again, I’m really sorry.” With that she shoved the container inside Camila’s sweaty hands and took off closing back the curtains as she left.

When the beautiful stranger was gone, Camila was left speechless, still topless on the bed with her feet dangling not reaching the tiled floor below. She combed her wavy hair back with her fingers and collapsed on the bed. What was she feeling? It was different. A good kind of different and it was exciting. She smiled to herself then placed both her hands with the container still in her grasps on her naked chest. She can’t feel her heart anymore. She couldn’t hear her breathing. It’s as if the world stopped revolving around her as she lay on that bed.

“Code Blue.” She whispered very softly to herself. Her heart was gone and she couldn’t breathe properly all because of a certain light-eyed stranger with soothing caresses and stares that could make her squirm in delight.

“You got yourself a Code Blue, Camila.” She blushed profusely as warmth filled her cheeks and she smiled like an idiot while she hides her face in her arms.

…

A/N

This is my first camren fic. Sooo… let me know what you think. :)

[reconseaweed]

Rules

This blog is an Ultra Recon oc blog, with both NSFW and SFW roleplay preferences. The mun is more than happy to discuss rps beforehand, or even reply to starter threads. Please message if in need of clarification or assistance, thank you!

1) Crossovers, indie rps, anything and everything is welcome! Does your character have to be from the Pokemon franchise? Do they need to be only OCs? Nope! I am more than happy to roleplay/interact with canon characters, original characters, and characters found in other shows/fandoms.

2) I will mirror replies I am a semi-literate to literate roleplayer, which means I usually can write anywhere from 2-4, sometimes 3+ paragraphs per a response. This doesn’t mean you have to bust out a novella for a reply. Please, don’t do that! I’ll give as much as I receive, if not, more!

3) Shipping is allowed. Be it single or multi-shipping, I am happy to have this guy get something going for his love life. With that in mind, any NSFW interactions with Chondrus are allowed and encouraged! You are more than welcome to approach me for an NSFW session, though you need to be a legal adult to do this. 

4) NSFW or SFW roleplays are accepted. What does this mean? It’s easy: If you want a fluffy rp, we can do that. Want something steamy, or even heavy on the violent side? We can do that! I have little to no restrictions on the matter.

5) NSFW roleplays are for 18+ mun and muses ONLY. Both for my safety and potential rp partners, nsfw is only for those of the legal age. In my case, anyone 18+. If you wish to not see these on your dash, I use both #sealewds and #nsfw for tags! 

6) Unless otherwise stated, any roleplay posts are fair game. Meaning, if I post an intro that has the tag as “#scanning the area | starter” or there’s no one tagged in it, then by all means, go for it! No one’s stopping you but yourself, dear!

7) Please do not use me as a meme source. When I reblog memes, I am doing it to try and interact with you guys and either get to know you, or develop Chondrus as a character! If you are unable to send in something, please reblog said meme from its source. Thank you!

8) No God-Modding, please! Not only is it puppeting a character, it also hinders any willingness of me to participate in the rp. I understand that minor god-modding may happen, I just ask that you keep this in mind and I’ll do the same!

Blog and Mun Info

Who exactly is “Chondrus”?

Chondrus is an Ultra Recon Oc made specifically for the Pokemon Universe. He is an adult male at the age of 32, is 6′7″, with pink hair and pale eyes. He is Pansexual and is welcome to multi-shipping.

Where did he come from?

Chondrus hails from Ultra Megalopolis, the city shrouded in darkness after Necrozma stole its light. While it is perpetually dark, with only light emitting from the center tower, the man’s skin has a blue hue in response to the absence of natural light. 

What’s his backstory? Is there one?  

Chondrus is from Ultra Megalopolis and was actually born and raised on another planet within the reaches of the dark city. He had always had his odd skin complexion from his birth planet. After he traveled to Megalopolis, he was under the scrutiny of the recon squad residing there. He joined to serve the better cause, yet he sometimes wonders if any of his efforts have a purpose behind them.

The Mun

Here’s a little info for myself:

My main blog is @ask-shiny-rufflet , so all follows will originate from there. 

I am currently a 21 y.o individual, with she/her or they/them pronouns. I really don’t care, just don’t call me something stupid like ‘cactus’. 

I’m quite easy-going and affable, so feel free to approach me! I swear I don’t bite.

I have a hobby for drawing and such, though my current schedule is clogged with work and family.

If you want to contact me through other means, please send a message my way and I’ll happily give you my Discord user. 

[fallcnlight]

Rules

This blog is a fandomless oc blog, with both NSFW (mainly violence) and SFW preference. The mun is more than happy to discuss rps beforehand, or even reply to starter threads. Please message if in need of clarification or assistance, thank you!

1) I will mirror replies I am a semi-literate to literate roleplayer, which means I usually can write anywhere from 2-4, sometimes 3+ paragraphs per a response. This doesn’t mean you have to bust out a novella for a reply. Please, don’t do that! I’ll give as much as I receive, if not, more!

2) Shipping is allowed. Be it single or multi-shipping, I am happy to have this guy get something going for his love life. With that in mind, any NSFW interactions with Kemuel are allowed and encouraged! You are more than welcome to approach me for an NSFW session, though you need to be a legal (18+ mun) adult to do this.

3) NSFW or SFW roleplays are accepted. What does this mean? It’s easy: If you want a fluffy rp, we can do that. Want something steamy, or even heavy on the violent side? We can do that! I have little to no restrictions on the matter.

4) NSFW roleplays are for 18+ mun and muses ONLY. Both for my safety and potential rp partners, nsfw is only for those of the legal age. In my case, anyone 18+. If you wish to not see these on your dash, it will be tagged with #nsfw +other appropriate tags.

5) Unless otherwise stated, any roleplay posts are fair game. Meaning, if I post an intro that has the tag as “#and then there was one | starter” or there’s no one tagged in it, then by all means, go for it! No one’s stopping you but yourself, dear!

6) Please do not use me as a meme source. When I reblog memes, I am doing it to try and interact with you guys and either get to know you, or develop Kemuel as a character! I would appreciate it if you try to send something in prior to reblogging. If you can’t find something to send in, then simply reblog from the source.

7) No God-Modding, please! Not only is it puppeting a character, it also hinders any willingness of me to participate in the rp. I understand that minor god-modding may happen, I just ask that you keep this in mind and I’ll do the same!

If you read the rules, I wouldn’t mind if you introduce yourself via ask! No need to send anything in but it’s appreciated

Faceclaim notes:

I do not own nor am I affiliated with the photographers/model represented in any tagged pictures. I am using it for icons and nothing more. All icons edited by myself belong to me. If there are any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me!

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-july-28-august-3-2019/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: July 28 – August 3, 2019

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: July 28 – August 3, 2019

By Kelly M.Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction. 

*NOTE*  There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

Weekly Forecast: July 21 – 27, 2019

7/29 ~ Sun (source & essential Self) ~square~ Uranus (awakening & radical shift):

As with any Uranus activation, this one disrupts the normal flow to facilitate a ‘break to realign’ moment. While sometimes disruptive & challenging, the ultimate result is usually refreshing in some way. Consider the energy that thickens, gathering for a severe thunderstorm, then releasing buckets of rain, for hours, you sleep deeply and awaken to a bright sunny morning with birds chirping unusually loud outside your window. Got the visual? ; -)) This activation is the necessary challenge that gets your attention that something better is available, if you’re willing to improvise and think on your feet. If you’ve been unusually restricted in some way, you may feel restless. Rather than being reactive to the unexpected shift (within or without), it’s best to take a pause for the cause, step back and try to gain some perspective so you can consciously respond, instead of react. Remember to be present, too far in the past can be depressing and too far into the future, and you cause your Self unnecessary anxiety. Breathe, be under the sky, invite clarity about the next step and trust your gut – your natural god-given instincts are what is needed for this one. This energy, while sometimes uncomfortable and often sudden, is very necessary to disrupt any illusions/delusions you may be holding on to. It’s time to express your Self in all new ways.

7/31 ~ Super/New Moon in LEO:

Around this time last year, we were wrapping up the Leo/Aquarius Eclipses so I am curious how you are doing 1-year later? Often, when we are “in it”, we can’t really know what exactly is changing, however, once we get a little distance and the dust starts to settle, we discover what radical shifts really took place. Leo/Aquarius Eclipses activated reverberations from the years 2008-09 and 1998-2000. Last year, we were also navigating the Full Moon first, giving us a chance to clear before seed-planting. However, this year, brings today’s Leo Super/New Moon first, so we have to plant seeds and walk by faith, trusting they will be activated in Divine Time & Order. This new moon will help initiate the new in a clean, positive, and hopefully fun way! It may be time to Lighten UP! Get creative, have some fun! Make time & space to dig into anything that is weighing heavily on you and find a NEW way to express it. This is the annual New Moon of the New YOU (Leo) and thanks to the recent eclipse series, you may have only realized a “New You” was activated last year. If your focus is on self-care, self-love & self-worth and how you define that for yourself, it may also allow you some customized opportunities (for you) to change your thinking in some way. The world is shifting at such a rapid pace that I feel it is more imperative than ever to know your own *Heart*. Many of us have lived our lives guided by “survival” rather than what is truly in our hearts. And we have discovered, either directly or from observing others, how this can backfire on you. Consider that anything you do, whether for yourself or the world, needs to be heart-centered and rooted in *love* (Leo’s domain) – that love is that which endures, and ultimately succeeds. When we do things with genuine enthusiasm ~ humble & pure ~ we can literally Inspire, Awaken & Uplift others and that creates a certain magnetism that creates an energetic flow. The purest form of leadership is to lead by example, so deepen your connection to your own Heart, share your Light (without attachment) but simply for the joy of sharing and that will encourage others to shine their own Light. It’s contagious! So Happy New YOU ~ may you rise into your courageous Emergent Self!

7/31 ~ Mercury Direct in CANCER:

We still have a bit of a Shadow period through Aug, but I think it is actually going to work in our favor, slowing things down so we can do some personal tending. This retrograde in particular is shining yet another light on the value of self-care & self-love, as it relates to communication & self-expression. If we are not clear about our personal needs & desires, it makes it really difficult to attract the good things in life. I encourage you to use the rest of August to dig into how you really feel and what you really think about some issues that are close to your heart in some way. We can use this slow reversal to reconnect internally, so we navigate externally with more ease & grace. We have this breather, right as we plant these new moon seeds, that will support us when we get to the Harvest.

8/2 ~ Venus (love, finances & relationships) ~square~ Uranus (sudden change):

This is a test to grow that you cannot plan for. Venus rules your values & priorities and an activation with Uranus signifies something sudden and seemingly out-of-the-blue. Of course, this isn’t true, but it can feel that way. The truth is, it is time to do something “different” where your love, finances or relationships are concerned. Making a conscious effort to do things in a completely new way will be rewarded with a lesson & a blessing you would’ve never considered. Due to these new revelations happening within you, the immediate response will come from those closest to you. If you’re in relationships (personal or professional) that have reached a point where they have to change or end, this is a good time to try to discuss it openly and with as much detachment & objectivity as possible. This energy can provoke the need for excitement or stimulation in your relationships, giving you the urge to shake things up. Be aware & mindful of others’ feelings too because they may not be in the mood for such sudden change. Another expression of this energy is to get things on the table; it’s a great time to really discuss things & come to an agreement or compromise. Ultimately, this is a test of your flexibility in relationships. The more inflexible or attached to status quo that you are, then the more disruptive this energy can be. The more willing you are to change within and do things differently without, the more productive & joyful you will be.

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[prismportrait]

Phew!

OK, as promised before noon, everyone’s blind date matches have been issued. If you have any problems, please reach out to me!

Some life lessons under the cut. It’s long and rambley more than it is venty, so don’t worry and just skip along if you’re not interested in the dynamics/insight behind the event.

Thanks everyone who participated!

So for a first experiment this wasn’t... so bad! At the end of the day, all that matters is people had a chance to meet new rpers and have a new setting to try out.

These notes are really to help my own memory issues and troubleshooting for potential(??) events. Or, if anyone wants to do this too, you’re more than welcome to learn from my mistakes/experience!

First of all, end date has to be solid and posted in the first draft. I edited it in but the original was already reblogged a bunch by then. Thanks tumblr.

Second, default to sending these as submissions and not asks. Asks and messages are a good backup but submission is less intrusive than a message and doesn’t have a limit like asks.

Now for the form itself. Okay... in the days of gathering users who wanted to participate, I worked on setting a layout to the spreadsheet for ease. I should have made the spreadsheet layout at the beginning with the form before releasing it to the public. I could have set up concatenate and saw impending problems beforehand. The conditional formatting was a godsend but, for instance, grouping all restrictions to checkbox-format was a mistake and jumbled all of the information together into 1 cell. I made the form hoping to make it easier for users with less questions to literally answer- I simply can’t keep that policy in the future, it caused WAY too many mishaps.

Next, sideblogs were a pain. The format of the question was bad, I think it added to confusion. On one hand it would be infinitely easier to make people submit 1 form per blog entering, on the other, this way ensured I didn’t pair 2 blogs run by the same mun together. That leads me to a better idea to resolve that though...

I need more info from the users. If I added more questions about both the mun and the muse, I could have eliminated some problems right there. For instance, asking for the applicant’s mun “name”. A lot of blogs listed “user ____ and any blogs run by Squeak” as if I automatically knww the muns behind every blog/ have easy access to that information. I feel lucky that coincidentally most muns people listed as being uncomfortable with just didn’t enter.

On top of that, if I ask everyone to give their “mun name”, I can use that to make sure sideblog/multiple rp accounts aren’t paired. Then it can be 1 form per RP account. 

Another question for more info to add could be muse’s age. 30+ year old muses understandably may not be comfortable with 18/19 year old dates. The information isn’t always easy for me to find on the blogs so having users input that in the form from the get go can help.

On to the tricky subject of making restrictions and disqualifications... Seriously, these things should be obvious but hey that’s why rules even exist. If you change your username and do not reach me/edit the form prior to closeout date, you’ll be disqualified. If you don’t even have an about/muse info/rules/literally any kind of information immediately present on your blog, or you only have 2 posts on your entire blog, you’ll be disqualified.

...I don’t want to restrict minors but it is overwhelming how many adult muns do not want to interact with minors. It’s also disappointing how many of the minor-run blogs do not clearly state they are minors either, 1 of them even surprised me.

I know I could make this an 18+ mun event only but I also feel that isn’t fair. There were adults who didn’t mind especially if they were playing minor muses, like protags. Plus my first intent of this blind date match was to meet new rpers and have fun. I know it’s a “date” but that isn’t how it has to be taken. Still, interpretation is what it is and I need to respect those who want to take it in a literal form. That said, I think I could fix this in the future by making another question asking users to give their feelings on entering. If they literally state they are only looking for a date to be flirtatious/taken seriously, I could match people better. If they keep the option for this to be silly and just meet new people or make another friend, that could also match people better. 

Last on the subject of restriction, “Humans Only”  is definitely going to be a restriction if there is a next time. If Pokemon blogs want, I wouldn’t mind hosting a separate event for them, but mixing together was not a good idea. So very few blogs entered as Pokemon, and some naturally only wanted to be paired with other Pokemon.

Aaaand the final thought on improving the blind match is to get rid of the final question and just clearly tell people to reach me if they need to edit and did not save their form link.

[4wordletter]

@say-never

first of all, i’m sorry for offering the pathetic excuses. you deserve better than that. sometimes things require a deeper level of introspection and a higher level of self-awareness. i’ve taken time out to really think about our discussion so that i can dig deeper and give you a real answer.

i think at times i feel so restricted by that little chat window. when we’re instant messaging i feel i don’t have time to really think about what it is that i want to tell you, hence a proper post written on my laptop instead of my phone.

you’re right, i have gone further than virginia for someone i loved. you have to understand the context in which that happened. 

back then i was so starry-eyed, so passionate. my heart was full of love - really pure love. it wouldn’t have mattered if this woman was on the moon or mars, there was no barrier, no obstacle, no amount of distance that would quell the feelings i had for her.

i loved her like a child. it was pure and innocent. i thought she was some sort of angel. i idolized her. she was my hero. i wrote her love letters and poems. i made little pictures for her. little signs saying “have a great day!” - i loved her family and her friends both. i’d never miss anyone’s birthday. 

i wanted to love everyone that she cherished. somehow, i saw her friends and family as being part of her. i’d make silly pictures for them too! i’d wish them happy birthday. i’d send cards and gifts. i was a child and i loved like a child.

my heart was open and pure. i didn’t understand anything. i was a disney prince and she was my princess. there was no garden of thorns nor any dragon that could come between us. sure, i had problems. problems that i overcame. i used the fire in my heart that i felt for her and i propelled myself forward. i became more. i strengthened myself. i loved and i loved and i loved.

in response to any cynicism i wrote long, winding paragraphs confessing my true intentions, how hard i was trying. i wanted to reassure both her and her parents that i wasn’t fucking around. i bent over backwards. i want to show my love. i sent bouquet after bouquet of flowers. i remembered her smile in her towelturban and i wanted to see it again. i wanted to make her feel happy and loved. in response to any hate or insult i’d just show more and more love. it wasn’t faked. it was real, everything was real for me. she could call me a prick 11 times in a row and i would tell her how much i loved her.

i was a child. so naive. literally untarnished by the world.

the thing is, you can only be naive once. i was only that way because i had limited exposure to relationships. this girl was, in so many ways, the only girl i truly loved. 

i told my first girlfriend i loved her. i thought i did. i was 17 and she was the first girl who had really paid any attention to me. she said she loved me and i said it back. it became a habit and a routine to just say it. i never stopped to think if it were true. 

it wasn’t. i just liked the attention and i liked having sex with her.

my second girlfriend: this was a bandaid relationship. i moved from the first relationship straight into the second. i felt like, somehow, i needed someone. i needed someone to anchor my identity to. i told her i loved her as soon as i could. i needed to hear it said back to me. 

she was more a friend than anything else. i regret trying to turn it into more than a friendship. still, looking back i can categorically say that i loved her just as i love my friends and family - not romantically, not passionately. not with fire, but as a friend.

i think it’s really easy to say you love someone when you’re in a relationship. it’s been 2 years since my last relationship ended, so i’m afforded some perspective through that. 

i can wholeheartedly say that i loved this woman with all my heart. i never doubted how i felt about her. like i said, this love propelled me to become exactly what i needed to become in order to lay a solid foundation for a life with her. 

there wasn’t anything i wouldn’t do. i went to relationship coaches and parenting seminars. i cooked for her parents. i would have died for her child. there were no limits. i sincerely wanted to do all these things. i never thought what happened would happen. i thought it was all my fault. i thought i just wasn’t showing enough love. i tried harder and harder and harder.

in many ways, it was as if i were discovering true love for the first time. i’d never felt anything like it. my god, the goosebumps and butterflies. 

childlike. like a 14 year old falling in love for the first time. that’s how i was. naive. dumb, deluded. looking back, it’s no wonder that her parents were so suspicious of me. i doubt they’d seen anything like it from someone my age - someone so willing to do so much. i understand now, because love in the real world isn’t anything like how i felt. 

first-loves feel like that, but then you learn. you learn the hard way.

having your heart broken and stomped on not by one person but their whole family changes you as a person. it changes your ideas of love. it changes how you see yourself and it changes how you see others. it changes how you see the world and how you interact with it. it changes how you see your future and how you see your life.

it changes everything. it rewires the fabric of your personality and re-engineers your neural circuitry. you become a different person. you adapt to the pain. you become unrecognizable to yourself and others.

it fucking destroyed me, hannah. that’s not hyperbole, it’s an understatement. please note that when i say “adapt” i mean ADAPT. i’m not implying any sense of forward progress here, any sense of growth. yes, i’ve grown in so many ways, but there are parts of me that are dead and that won’t ever come back to life. in some ways i’ve maladapted. sometimes maladaption is the only adaption.

i’m sure you’re familiar with that quote by some dude who said not to stare into the abyss because it’ll stare back into you.

i searched so long for answers to all these questions i had in my head. why did this happen? what did i do? what did i do wrong? did i deserve this?

i got no reply. i searched high and low. i stared into that abyss. there was nothing. no answers. just a void. nothingness. that dude was right, it does stare back. the parts of me that wanted answers, that were crying out in pain, are numb and dead.

sometimes the only way to adapt is to stop caring. to adopt apathy as a core part of you. it’s pathetic, but it works. i could not go on asking questions with no answer. that’s a short road to insanity.

no, instead, i became numb. i repressed so much that i honestly don’t care any more. even if her parents appeared on my doorstep tomorrow morning saying how wrong they were, how sorry they were for everything they did, i’m not sure i’d even feel anything because after all this i’ve been conditioned to not feel anything.

there are only so many phonecalls that go unanswered, only so many voicemails, messages and emails that go unreplied to before you internalize it all: no one gives a damn about you. stop crying, stop caring. man up and cut the bullshit. this is the real world and it’s cold and callous. deal with it. there’s no room in the world for your shitty little feelings so pack it up and go home. stop caring, stop loving.

i feel it’s a natural human response, when you’re presented with such an unrelenting apathy, to make that a part of you. you cut the emotion out of your heart with bloodied hands and you get used to the fact that it’s better to feel NOTHING than feel like you’re unheard, that your feelings don’t matter.

listen, i don’t give a fuck about any of this. i know i’m dead inside. talking about feelings feels icky and weird because deep down i don’t have any anymore. i just remember what it was like, i remember what i went through. please don’t think i’m having a downer and i’m reminiscing over any of this shit, because i’m not. i’m merely relaying to you why i am this way.

i’ve told you a million times how i have this dark stuff inside of me. dark stuff is a misnomer really because there is no “stuff” - there’s a lack of stuff. a lack of light. it’s numbness, darkness, blackness. nothingness - it’s the abyss that looked back.

this is just who i am now. i know that sounds defeatist and maybe it is, but what’s the alternative? if you take a baseball bat to my knees then, realistically, i’m probably not gonna run a 10k again - or at least it will be pretty difficult.

forces shape us and shape our brains. i’m not insane or anything and for the most part i’m really loving and light. i love everyone and i’ve surrounded myself with loving people.

still, i’d never entertain the thought of a relationship. i see less and less value in them. i’m not that guy anymore. i’d never go more than, say, 45 minutes to see a girl. the thought of crossing the ocean for anyone seems weird and outlandish now. i’ve changed so much. at my core i am a different person. 

her parents changed me. in some ways for the better - picking myself up from what they did increased my confidence a hundredfold. if i can come back from that i can come back from anything at all. literally anything at all.

i’m not stupid though, i know how awful that situation was and i’ll never put myself in that situation again. i’ve learned my lesson. i will never love that deeply, never ever ever. i’ll never allow myself to get in that deep.

i don’t want you to fall in love with me. i’ll push you away if you show me signs that you love me. i don’t want any of that. it’s not for me. you can’t fix me so please don’t even try.

last week you freaked out when i took a day to myself. i hate that so much. please don’t place that much importance on me. there’s nothing inside me that you can love. the land inside me is so arid and dry that even if you try your best to plant your love and watch it grow, it won’t. it will die. please don’t waste your time.

let me be clear: this isn’t like the movies. i’m not some jaded boy you can love until he’s happy again. it doesn’t work that way. i have internalized a lot of really vicious emotional trauma. my brain is literally a different shape and you’re not gonna change that. it’s not romantic, it’s fucked up. so please, don’t attempt to fall for me. don’t waste money on me coming to scotland. there’s literally nothing inside me that’s worth crossing an ocean for.

this is, basically, a long winded way of saying “it’s not you, it’s me” - i think you’re a wonderful person. you have a lovely personality and i bond well with you. even still, loving me will be the end of you. i’ll break you like i’ve been broken. please don’t enter this pain cycle willingly. put an end to it here. don’t love me. don’t even try. i don’t want to hurt you, i don’t want to cause harm to anyone. i want to hold onto this shit until i die. i don’t want to expose anyone to it. i want to keep it to myself and keep it inside. i will never let anyone know me on a deep level because there is stuff down here that will change you like i have been changed. please don’t stare into my abyss. i wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

[were-up-against-them-all]

Upcoming Rules Update

//I’m writing and queueing this with the anticipation that I’m probably going to end up taking some time off from this blog.  If that happens, when I come back, I’m going to be changing my rules a little to avoid the issues I’ve run into this time around.  So here is the list of changes:

This blog will be mutuals-only.  (I already always check to see if somebody is following me before I send in memes, answer open starters, or like starter calls.  This would just make that reciprocal.)

If we are mutuals, I will assume that this gives me permission to send in memes, answer open starters, and like starter calls, unless there’s some kind of restriction given in the post that would rule out my muse.  (I.e., if something is meant for female muses only or something along that line.)

People who request starters from me and do not answer them, I will message you about it if it’s been more than a week.  If you do not intend to answer the starter you requested you will be blocked.  I understand if you can’t figure out how to answer something and I’m happy to work with you on it, but if you just straight up don’t intend to answer something you’ve asked me to write, then I will block you.

If I like one of your starter calls and you make it abundantly clear that you intend to answer everyone but me, I will block you.  This happened a few times just prior to me taking a break and this is the big thing that really killed my will to RP.  I get that people get busy.  I do.  And if I see you’ve answered literally everyone except me, then I might message you and ask if there’s anything I can do to help you come up with something (although I would kind of expect if you’re the one putting out the call, then you’re the one who’s going to take this step).  But if it’s just straight up that you don’t intend to answer me, I will block you.

Honestly, if you do these things, why are you following me?  What’s the point?  Why are you here?  

And I know that I sometimes ignore people on starter calls, but it’s only non-mutuals and only if it is clear to me they have not read my rules.  I do not RP with minors or real person RPers.  I have made that exceedingly clear in my rules and FAQ.  These are the people I ignore.  I also don’t follow these groups of RPers, so making the blog mutuals only would eliminate that issue altogether.

But if I do end up walking away for a bit, which I feel is very likely, these are the rule changes that will be instated when I come back.  Because these are the things that make me want to quit RP altogether.  Just as a heads up.

EDIT:  After taking a few days away from this blog, I have decided not to put it on hiatus for any length of time.  HOWEVER, I do plan on enacting these rules.  I will be adding them to my rules page.  I do not like being stand-offish, but this sort of thing kills my will to RP.  It’s not as bad with my Marvel and Doctor Who muses, because those fandoms are big, but in a fandom as tiny as Danny’s (read as: the RP fandom consists of me), this is extremely discouraging.

So what’s changing?

This blog is now mutuals only.

If we are mutuals, I will assume that I have permission to send in memes, like starter calls, and answer open starters unless something in the post rules out my muse.  (I.e., a starter call intended only for female muses.)

If you request a starter from me and do not answer it, I will wait a week.  After that time, I will contact you to see if maybe you’re just busy or if you’re having trouble coming up with a response.  If you are having trouble, I am more than happy to work with you.  If you simply do not intend to answer a starter you requested, I will no longer interact with you.

If I like one of your starter calls (see above) and you make clear that you answer everyone except me, I will contact you after about a week to see if it’s just that you’re busy, don’t have muse for a thread with my muse, or are having trouble coming up with something.  If any of these things is the case, I understand, and if you’re having trouble figuring out what to write, I’m happy to help.  If you’re simply ignoring me, I will no longer interact with you.

The same applies to if I answer one of your open starters.  If you are busy, don’t have muse, or don’t know how to respond, I understand.  If you don’t know how to respond, I’m happy to talk it through with you.  If you’re simply ignoring me, I will no longer interact with you.

If I post a starer call and do not know what to write for your muse, I will contact you.  If I get behind on starter calls, I will make a post regarding that to let people know.

I’m not trying to be mean with these rules.  These are intended to protect my will to RP with this character.

What ISN’T changing?

I do not RP with minors.  If you do not have listed somewhere on your blog that you, the mun, are 18+, I will not interact with you.  This does not apply to muses.  I will RP with muses who are minors, so long as the mun is an adult.

If it is clear to me that you have not read my rules, I will not interact with you.  I read everyone’s rules before following them and again before interacting with them for the first time.  Please grant me the same courtesy.