#literally just because I always have the pines twins on my mind

[senipsenipsenip]

I think I’m really funny btw

[serpentandlily]

Untouchable IV - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister! Reader ✨

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court's spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he'd eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on-with Elain, your brother's mate's middle sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that - more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst

a/n: ahhh guys I literally love all of you so much. Thanks for all the love and support on this story!! Hope you enjoy this one just as much!

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part IV

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You stared at yourself in the mirror, quite happy with that way you looked. You were getting ready to make a trip to Hewn City with the rest of the Inner Circle, so you could be announced as their new Overseer. Already donning your mask, a mask you wore just as well as your brother could. You were, after all, raised by the same cruel, unflinching male. After your father died, Rhys had made sure to continue teaching you how to handle the unsavory parts of the Night Court as best he could. 

So you had put on a dress that demanded attention. It was Night Court black, of course, with a halter top bodice that connected to a high neck collar. Starting from just below your breasts, the dress was cut into two panels to cover your front and back, laced together with a black ribbon on the sides. It clung to your curves and showed off more skin than you usually did. 

The entire side of your legs, your hip bone and waist, all exposed and accentuated by the dress. Some kohl liner brought your star-flecked, violet eyes to life. Your hair was curled and spilled down your back freely. You felt beautiful. Devastatingly beautiful. The Princess of Night. 

You finished the look with the diadem your brother had given you. It was made of Illyrian metal with dark red jewels decorating the intricately twisted vines. It was perfect for the Court of Nightmares. 

As you made your way down the stairs, you could already feel the disapproving stare of your brother. Only him and Cassian were waiting in the foyer. Cass was in his Illyrian leathers and your brother was wearing a finely tailored black coat and pants with his own crown on his head. 

“Nice try, dove,” Rhys chided. “Go back upstairs and change into the dress I had Nuala lay out for you this morning.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest. “No. I bought this one specifically for today and I’m going to wear it.”

“No, you’re not.” Cass snorted as Rhys tried to assert his dominance. “Go change. Now.” 

“No. I’m wearing this. You can’t make me change my mind.”

“Oh, I can make you,” your brother sneered. He could, you supposed, use his High Lord voice to order you to change. And then you literally wouldn’t be able to refuse.

Before he could though, you shouted for his mate. “Feyre!”

Your High Lady and sister-in-law walked into the room with a baby Nyx on her hip. She was wearing a beautiful, glimmering black dress that fell in a deep v to her navel. Slits on both sides of the skirt exposing her legs and a twin crown to the one Rhys was wearing sat on her head. Nyx was also dressed in black with a tiny version of their crown on his own head. The sight of them both was too adorable. 

“What’s going on out here?” Feyre asked, sliding up to Rhys’s side. He strung an arm around her, pulling her and his son close. 

You gave your brother a cheeky grin. “Your mate wants me to go change because he’s a big, overprotective, insufferable bat.” 

Your brother glared at you as Feyre smacked his arm. “Leave your sister alone, Rhys. She can wear whatever she wants.” 

The two of you shared a smile as Rhys let out a sigh of annoyance. “You know, I thought having a mate meant always having someone on your side. I would’ve never brought you here if I knew you’d end up conspiring with my sister against me all the time.” 

“You're lucky you ended up with such a smart, beautiful mate that can check you before you embarrass yourself, Rhysie,” you laughed as Feyre stuck her tongue out at him. Rhys scoffed at both of you as you giggled with each other at his reaction. 

“What are you guys giggling about out here?” Mor and Nesta walked into the room, both dressed as finely as everyone else. 

Feyre started to answer Mor but your attention drifted as Azriel appeared in the shadow of the hallway, striding towards the group. He was wearing his Illyrian leathers like Cass, all seven of his cobalt siphons on display. Azriel always looked intimidating, but even more so today as his leathers clung to his muscles and highlighted the lethality of his stone-cut face.  

His eyes immediately locked onto yours and widened as he took you in. His gaze dipped down and roamed your entire body and when he looked back up, his eyes were filled with hunger and heat, before he blinked and his cold mask was back on. You gave him no reaction, merely glancing away from him as if his presence had no effect on you. But the butterflies in your stomach begged otherwise. 

Elain came walking down the stairs at the same time, dressed in black yet way more modestly than the rest of you. You couldn’t help but notice how out of place she looked.

“You’re coming?” Nesta asked, peering at Elain in surprise. “I thought Hewn City was far too much for you delicate sensibilities.” 

Mor snorted as Elain scowled at her sister. “I’m only coming to show my support for y/n.”

She smiled at you and you gave her a grateful nod. Even if you were jealous of her for winning over the shadowsinger, you’d never blame her for him being an asshole. You also didn’t want Azriel to know you were bothered about it. You might not be as prideful as your brother was, but you’d rather suffer in complete silence than let anyone think they’ve made you feel insecure. Perhaps it was a family trait.  

“I’ve had your stuff, and Azriel’s, sent over to the Moonstone Palace already,” Rhys said as everyone congregated. “So you can spend the rest of the week getting situated with your new role as planned.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “But I already asked Cass to be my escort and he agreed–”

“Cassian forgot he has other duties that I already assigned to him this week.” 

Cassian gave you a sheepish look and you let out a huff. “What about Balthazar?”

Balthazar was the Illyrian warrior who had helped Nesta and Emerie during the Blood Rite. He now worked closely with training the Illyrian females and helping them merge with the Valkyries. He was a good male and an excellent warrior—but more importantly, he wasn’t Azriel. 

You could feel Azriel’s stare as you kept your focus on your brother. He waved a dismissive hand. “Azriel’s already agreed and I’d rather him guard over my sister than some untested Illyrian.” 

Your hands clenched, annoyed but you nodded, not wanting your brother to get suspicious. With that, your brother winnowed the group to the gates leading into the Court of Nightmares. You took your place behind Feyre and Rhysand and Azriel slid into the space next to you as your designated guard, apparently. You managed to keep your stare straight forward as you began to walk towards the throne room.

Azriel took a step closer to you, his shadows cascading around your ankles. “Do you hate my presence so much now that you’d rather some random brute take my place as your guardian?” he muttered under his breath.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re the one who told me to stay away from you. I’m only doing as you asked. And Balthazar is not some random brute. He is a friend.” 

“Since when?” he hissed.

“Not that it's any of your business, but I had been helping with the training of the Illyrian females before I left for the continent. Balthazar is another one of the trainers.” 

Azriel said nothing else as your group finally entered the throne room. You could feel the stares of all the fae in the room, likely wondering why the High Lord had called for a party. You followed Rhys and Feyre to the dais, where Azriel held out a gloved hand to help you up the steps. You grabbed it, not wanting to embarrass him in front of a bunch of vultures who already thought of him as less than, and took your place behind Rhys’s throne. 

You and Feyre were the two people in your brother’s life that he had vowed would never have to bow to anyone. And he took that quite seriously. So while everyone else was forced to lower themselves to the ground, you stood at his side. 

You glanced at the crowd of people in the throne room. Your eyes widened as you noticed Eris next to Keir. You hadn’t been expecting him.

“You can rise now,” Feyre said after leaving them on the floor for a few moments. 

And then it was time for the big announcement. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The party was in full swing, music playing, faeries dancing. Despite their despise for their High Lord, the fae down here took any excuse to get up to some debauchery. You still remained at the dais next to your brother, Azriel now a step behind you, like the guardian he was supposed to be. 

Cassian stood on the other side of the dais by Feyre with Nesta, both ready to protect her and baby Nyx should they have to. Mor had claimed a table where she and Elain now sat, the latter looking uncomfortable as she peered around at the party taking place. 

Keir stood before Rhys and Feyre, a forced look of respect on his face. It seemed to almost pain him and you had to hide your grin. 

“My Lord, if I may ask, why have you decided to pass along the role of Overseer to someone as young and unpracticed as your sister?” Keir asked, his voice full of condescension. “And to do so without any input from me. It seems like an insult to us in this court—to not have one of our own be a representation for Hewn City.” 

“I think you forget yourself, Keir,” Rhys sneered. “Me and your High Lady make every decision for this court and we certainly don’t require your input nor your opinions. You will show my sister respect. She is more than capable of what her title requires of her.” 

“Can you blame me, my Lord, for having my doubts? Your sister has never dealt with court politics. It might be naive to place her in such a position.” 

You took a step forward, standing tall as you looked down at your uncle. “You seem to forget, uncle, that I was the one who ran the Night Court during my brother’s absence for fifty years. You also seem to forget that your daughter’s mercy is the only reason you are still standing here today. Watch your mouth or perhaps you will find that I do not share the same leniency towards you as she does.” 

Keir’s face twisted into an ugly scowl, but he did the smart thing by keeping his mouth shut. Though his eyes flickered towards the shadowsinger over your shoulder and a bit of fear flashed through him. Luckily, he didn’t hold your attention for long as a redhead suddenly appeared in front of you, at the bottom of the platform’s steps. 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Eris purred, holding out his hand to you. His eyes roamed down the length of your body before they met yours. Your brother’s hands tightened on his throne’s arm rests but one look from Feyre kept his mouth shut. 

You placed your hand in his, blushing slightly as he leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your hand. “Would you allow me the honor of being your first dance tonight, Princess?”

Azriel growled in warning from behind you but you ignored him, instead looking towards your brother. He gave you a slight dip of the head as permission to leave your post, so you let Eris help you down the steps. 

Eris escorted you to the dance floor just as a new song began. You let Eris begin to lead you through the dance, one hand in his and the other one on his shoulder, as his free arm looped around your waist.

“It is a surprise to see Rhysand finally letting his coveted little bird out of her cage,” Eris whispered into your ear as he twirled you around the dance floor, a devilish smirk on his face.

“He can be persuaded,” you whispered back with a feline smile of your own.

“Does that have anything to do with a shadowsinger who looks like he wants to kill me more than usual?”

As he spun you around, you couldn’t help but glance at Azriel. He had moved from his post closer to the dance floor, to keep you and Eris in his line of sight.

His eyes were narrowed, his shadows spiraling around him like snakes ready to strike, as he watched you dance with Eris. You wanted to roll your eyes at his behavior. He didn’t get to be a complete asshole to you and then act all protective. 

“It has nothing to do with the shadowsinger,” you answered, gasping as Eris yanked you closer just in time to get out of the way of another couple drunkenly dancing. “It was all my negotiating that got me my new title. So I suppose I’ll be seeing a lot more of you now?” 

“It seems so, my Lady,” Eris crooned.

His amber eyes flashed to something over your shoulder and based on the smirk that spread on his face, that something was probably a certain shadowsinger. He met your gaze again, mischief sparkling on his face. 

“In fact, there is something I’ve been meaning to discuss with Mor in private, but I guess now that would be you, wouldn't it?” 

You nodded, peering around and noting Rhys and Feyre distracted by a line of couriers vying for their attention. Keir was off in a dark corner conversing with a male you recognized as Lord Thanatos. You looked back at Eris and he quirked an eyebrow. “It appears most everyone has their hands occupied right now. Shall we seek somewhere private after this?” 

Eris leaned down, his warm breath brushing against your ear. “I’d like that very much, Princess.” 

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes as he stood back up with a charming grin on his face. “You are as much of a flirt as your brother is,” you chided, waiting for the song to end so you could make your exit without drawing attention. 

“Don’t tell me you’re referring to little Lucien? Doesn’t he have a mate he's still pining after?” 

As you were spun again, you glanced back at Azriel, whose arms were crossed as he continued to glare in your direction. Good, you were glad he was upset. 

“Not lately,” you answered. It was true; Lucien rarely came around if Elain was present. He seemed to have given up on trying to win her attention for the time being. Perhaps he had also noticed the growing interest between her and Azriel. 

“Well I say good for him,” Eris chuckled. “A Vanserra has never had to beg a female for her heart. They merely present it to us on a platter.” 

“You are so full of it, Eris.” 

The music finally lulled to a stop and Eris let go of you, holding out his arm instead. “Allow me to prove it to you, Princess.”

You slipped a hand into the crevice of his elbow as you dipped out of the throne room before anyone could notice. Just as you had stepped into the corridor, a cold hand wrapped around your upper arm, halting the both of you. You already knew who it was before you turned around.

Azriel was seething as he glanced between the two of you. “You aren’t supposed to go anywhere without an escort, y/n. You know that.” 

You glanced at him as if he were inconveniencing you, though you knew he had followed. “I have one,” you replied, nodding your head towards Eris, who gave the shadowsinger a cunning smirk. 

“He doesn’t count,” Azriel hissed.

“Fine, then I guess it’s a good thing you’re here,” you shrugged before turning back around and leading Eris down the hallway. “Come, I know a private place we can go to.” 

You chatted with Eris as you walked, completely ignoring the angry bat that followed one step behind. Azriel was really starting to confuse you further. What the hell was he so upset about when he made his choice in Elain so clear? 

You took them down a dark, narrowed hall that looked like it was a dead end but a door appeared as you approached. It was just another secret meeting room. There were many in this court and you were familiar with most. You let Eris enter first and stood in the threshold blocking Azriel’s way. 

“Thank you, Azriel,” you said politely. “But I have it from here.” 

Azriel looked at you and then over your shoulder at Eris, his eyes full of icy rage. “Your brother has ordered me to stay with you at all times, y/n. Especially in the case of being around someone who may wish you harm.”

Eris snorted and you glanced back at him. “Hm Eris, do you plan on harming me?” 

“I was hoping to do quite the opposite, Princess.” His voice was full of wicked promise. 

Azriel growled lowly and the noise sent a shiver down your spine that you fought to cover up. “See, there’s no need for you here,” you chimed and then before he could even take a step forward, you slammed the door in his face and locked it. You quickly threw up a ward knowing he’d still try to spy with his shadows. 

Eris chuckled as he sat down on one of the plush couches. You took a seat on the one opposite, conjuring up a tray with two empty glasses and a bottle of expensive liquor on the coffee table between you. 

“So, what is it you wanted to discuss?” you asked as you poured the both of you a glass.

“Oh, there is nothing of importance for us to discuss. I just quite enjoy getting a rise out of the shadowsinger and for some reason, he seems to be particularly bothered with my proximity to you.” Eris crossed his legs and threw his arm around the back of the couch. The perfect picture of a male proud of himself. “Thank you for unintentionally helping me in my quest. I’m sure your shadowsinger thinks I’m trying to seduce you in here.”

“Are you serious?” you scoffed. “You pulled me from enjoying my own party just to make Azriel upset?”

“Oh please, we both know no one enjoys the parties down here.” He waved a dismissive hand in the air. “And it wasn’t the only reason. It's not very often that Rhys lets his little sister be in the presence of those he considered unsavory. Perhaps I am interested in your company as well.” 

“Well you’ve got my full, undivided attention now,” you replied, sitting back against the couch with your glass in your hand. 

Eris grabbed his glass as well, twirling it in his hand as he studied you. “So, tell me, why is it that the shadowsinger is pacing back and forth in front of the door, cursing me under his breath, as we speak?” 

“He’s an overprotective, Illyrian bat. Just like my brother and Cassian,” you said in dismissal. 

“Hm, I’m not quite sure that’s the only reason.”

“You seem to have an obsession with Azriel, Eris. Do you want me to put in a good word for you?” You gave him a brazen smile. 

“Alright, little bird, I’ll drop it. I’m far more interested in the beautiful female sitting in front of me as it is.” You hated that your cheeks turned pink at his words. Eris was handsome with his red hair and amber eyes. Even his scent of cinnamon and vetiver was enticing. But he just wasn’t Azriel. “Will you indulge me in a game of chess as we chat?”

Glad to move on from the subject, you did just that. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Alright, that’s enough—”

You were nearly three rounds deep in a game of chess when the door burst open and Azriel came stalking inside. You jumped a bit at the intrusion as Eris’s focus stayed on the chessboard like he had anticipated this. 

You looked up at the shadowsinger who was panting, his hair in disarray. His eyes widened as he took in the casual scene of you and Eris playing a game of chess. You raised an eyebrow at him but he only continued to glower at Eris. 

“Enough of what, shadowsinger?” Eris asked nonchalantly as he moved one of his chess pieces. 

“Enough of whatever the fuck you guys are doing,” Azriel huffed before looking at you with his arms crossed. “You’re needed back in the throne room. Now.” 

You very much doubted that, but decided to play along. You were losing this game anyways. You set your glass down on the table and stood, straightening out your gown. “Apologies, Eris, but apparently, duty calls.” 

Eris stood as well, gathering his coat that he had discarded at one point. “I should be getting back before my father grows suspicious anyways. I would very much like to do this again, Princess, if you’ll have me,” he said, grasping your hand and pressing a kiss to it like he did before. 

You gave him a slight dip of the head. “You know where to find me.”

He said his goodbyes, not without throwing a smirk in Azriel’s direction, before he disappeared, leaving only some crackling embers in his wake. You went to leave the room but Azriel reached an arm over your head and shut the door right in your face. You let out a disgruntled noise and turned around to Azriel towering over you, his gaze darkened.

“I thought I was needed in the throne room,” you said, sarcastically. 

He ignored you, keeping one hand on the door to keep it closed as he watched you. “So, you’re into Eris now? He’s a dangerous male, y/n.” 

“I think I can decide that for myself,” you snapped. “Maybe I am interested in him. What does it matter to you?”

He took a step closer, boxing you in against the door much like he had done that night. “I already told you it matters to me.” 

“You also told me to stay away from you. So why did you agree to be my guard for the next week? Why the fuck are you here?”

“Because someone has to watch over you! Especially when you decide to go strutting around in a dress like this,” he growled. “Tell me something, Princess, just who exactly did you have in mind when you put this on?”

His gloved hand trailed up the side of your thigh, to where the dress was held together with ribbon. You hated how much your skin tingled at his touch, hated the butterflies that arose in your stomach at his heated stare. Hating how your heart picked up its pace.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “If you’re implying that it was you I was thinking of, Azriel, then I’d say you think far too highly of yourself.”

“Your body says otherwise,” he growled, leaning down to whisper in your ear. 

You put both your hands on his chest and pushed him away. “No, no! You don’t get to do this, Azriel! You came to me. You came to my balcony, almost kissed me, and then disappeared for days! And then the next time I saw you, you had your tongue down Elain’s throat before running off to go fuck eachother.” 

“I didn’t fuck Elain,” he grunted. “I’ve never fucked Elain.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” 

“No…I don’t know—fuck!” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. 

“I did as you said. I left you alone like you wanted,” you spat at him. “You cannot come back to me and cast any sort of judgment on who I wish to spend my time with. You can’t come to me and act like you want me now. You had your chance and you were the one who walked away. So why won’t you just leave me alone?” 

You said the words but your heart was screaming the opposite. All you wanted was to grab him, to kiss him, to continue where you guys had left off that night. You can tell in the way he stared at you that he wanted the same. But you deserved better than that—better than this. 

“Because I can’t. I can’t stay away from you,” Azriel said. He looked unhinged, desperate. As if your mere presence caused him such conflict. His eyes were pleading you for something, but you had no idea what he even wanted. He was so hot and cold. 

So you squared your shoulders and straightened the crown on your head. 

“Well, that's your problem not mine,” you said before finally leaving the room.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Gods, the last few days had been draining. Dealing with Keir was a headache without having to also be around the brooding shadowsinger. You two hadn’t spoken to each other besides small words in passing and you tried to ignore his heavy gaze most of the time. The rest of your family had returned to Velaris after the party, leaving just you two to occupy the Moonstone Palace. Thankfully it was a rather big place which made it easier to avoid Azriel. 

But you still had half a week left with him here. 

You sank yourself further down in the bathtub, twisting your wine glass in your hand. You had a lot to think about. Your brother was crafting a response to Prince Cedric and needed your input of whether you wished to get to know him better, if you felt anything towards him. Eris had also sent you a letter today. Apparently this time he actually did have something of importance to share with you, but had also admitted to wishing to see you again. 

Perhaps it was time to move on from Azriel. Prince Cedric was handsome and kind, with his wavy blonde hair and cerulean eyes. But he lived on the continent, would eventually rule there, and you didn’t know if you could live so far away from your brother, nephew and soon to be niece. 

And then there was Eris. All the Vanserra males were annoyingly attractive and one day soon, he’d be the High Lord of Autumn. But he was complex. Half the time you didn’t even know which mask was his real personality. Was he really a kind male underneath that cruel armor he wore? Not to mention his past with your cousin.

You sighed and drank the rest of your wine before getting out of the bath. You pulled on your silk nightgown, the Palace charmed too warm to wear anything else to sleep, and dried your hair with some magic. It was late and you figured it was safe enough now to wonder about—figuring Azriel was asleep or at the very least, in his own bed chambers. 

You made your way down the vast corridors until you ended up right in front of the double doors leading into the study. Your brain was restless right now, but maybe some reading would help. You pushed the doors open and immediately wanted to curse the Mother. Of course you would jinx yourself. Of course the shadowsinger would be in the study already. 

Azriel looked up as the doors opened, his eyes finding yours. He looked…rough. His hair was in disarray, his eyes shadowed, and an almost empty bottle of whiskey sat on the small table in front of the armchair he was sitting in. You stood there for a moment, both staring at each other, until the doors slamming closed behind you made you jump. 

You let out a sigh and turned around, ready to leave, when his voice stopped you. “Don’t…Don’t leave. Please.” 

The desperation in his voice made you pause and you studied the intricate doors in front of you. You should leave. You absolutely should walk through those doors and go back to your private bed chambers. But…But this tension between the two of you was a dark cloud lingering over you. You had never had a contentious relationship with anyone in the Inner Circle. 

So you stayed, turning around and letting out a gasp as you came face to face with Azriel. You hadn’t even heard him move, hadn’t heard him even get up. You placed a hand over your heart and took a step back, putting more distance between the two of you.

He reached for you but you took another step back, sniffing the air. “You’re drunk, Az.”

“I know,” he said, darkly. “But I can’t take this shit anymore. I can’t do anything when I know how upset you are with me. I hate it, y/n. I hate that I’ve hurt you.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, upset. How could he be taking this so poorly when he was the one who caused all of this? You said nothing, just stared at him expectantly.  

“Princess…” he trailed off, staring down at you with melancholy eyes. “I…Can we please just forget about the past week? I can’t stand you being upset with me. Can we just…go back to how things used to be—before all of this?”

“How?” you breathed out. “How am I just supposed to forget?” 

How could you forget the hurt he had caused you…how could you erase the image of him and Elain stumbling into the River House in a heat of passion…by the cauldron, how could you forget about the way he treated you at training…and the night on the balcony afterwards. How?

“I don’t know,” he whispered, running a hand through his hair. He looked devastating in the dim faelights of the study, surrounded by marble bookcases and the open walls looking out towards the mountains. Even as dishelved as he was. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you. I fucked up. I should’ve never come to you that night…I should’ve never touched you.” 

Hurt flashed across your face. Had he really not wanted you that night? Had you completely misinterpreted his actions? Was he about to finally tell you he didn’t want you—that he wanted Elain and was sorry for leading you on? You didn’t know if your heart could take it…

“No, don’t…” Azriel said, seeming to notice where your thoughts had turned. “I don’t mean it like that, princess.” He reached a hand forward, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. “I did want you…I still do. But you have to understand, we can’t. This…us…it can never happen.”

“Why?” you choked out. He didn’t make any sense. If you wanted him, and he wanted you, then what the hell was stopping either of you? Was he scared of how your brother might react? If that was the case then he could just say so. You could deal with Rhys.

His hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb rubbing against the soft skin. You shouldn’t let him touch you. Shouldn’t even be so close to him. But Gods, your heart ached for his touch.

“Because,” he started, then faltered for a moment. “Because it just can’t, princess. I’m sorry.” 

You pushed his hand away from you. “You owe me more than that, Azriel! You owe me a godsdamn explanation. Why? Why can’t it happen? Because of Elain–”

“No,” he growled. “It has nothing to do with Elain. I don’t even care about Elain. I just want you—”

“I don’t think you know what you want, Azriel,” you scoffed. “You can’t stand here and say you don’t want Elain after what I witnessed between you two. I saw you, you know, in the kitchens that night. I saw you together before I even went to the continent. So don’t tell me you don’t want her, don’t care for her!” 

“It’s the truth,” he pleaded. “I swear to the Gods themselves. I don’t want Elain. I have never wanted Elain. I have never even wanted Mor. All I’ve ever wanted was you. You and only you.”

“You’re not making any sense,” you cried. “How can you even say that? I watched you pine after Mor for years! And now everything with Elain—”

“I need you to understand, princess. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to. But we cannot happen. I saw the way you looked at me and Gods, I wanted nothing other than to tell you how I felt. But you…I can never have you. So I pretended to pine after Mor for years hoping you’d move on. And then she came out to all of us, told us she preferred females, so I had to find someone else—”

“You expect me to believe that this whole time you’ve been pretending to like other girls? Mor, maybe I can believe because you never pursued her. But Elain? Azriel, I stumbled upon you guys twice! It certainly didn’t look like you were pretending.”  

“Because that night in the kitchens I was trying to make myself want her. Make myself want anyone other than you. Because I can’t have you, princess, don’t you get it! It’s fucking agony to crave you the way I do and not be able to do anything about it. So I tried, Gods, I tried to move on. But it didn’t work. We never got past what you saw. I couldn’t force myself to want her because I don’t. I don’t want anyone other than you.” 

“And what about the second time? Were you just pretending then, as well?” 

“I knew you were home that night. I had been tracking you the whole day with my shadows. After what happened between us on the balcony, I was scared you’d try to act on your feelings for me. So I purposefully sought out Elain. Purposefully led her back when I knew you’d be there to catch us. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you but I needed you to move on. Even if it meant you’d hate me.”

“I-I don’t understand,” you stuttered. “If you want me and I want you, then what’s stopping us, Azriel? Why do you keep saying you can’t have me? Is it because of my brother? Do you think he wouldn’t approve—wouldn’t think you deserving? Because you are, Az. I love—”

Azriel surged forward and pressed you against the door with a hand around your mouth, wings snapped out to their full length. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, your chest heaving.

“Don’t,” he snarled. “Don’t say it. Don’t. I won’t be able to control myself and this will all be for nothing. This will all end horribly.” 

When you made no move to say anything else, his hand slowly dropped from your mouth. You felt tears line your eyes. You felt frustrated, mad, upset. You couldn’t wrap your head around what he was trying to tell you. 

“At least tell me why, Azriel. Don’t you think I deserve that? You said you’re sorry for hurting me but can’t you see how much you’re hurting me by doing this? It hurts more to know you want me the way I want you but not enough to be with me.”

Azriel let out a groan and sank to his knees in front of you, bowing his head. “You have no idea how much I want you, princess. No idea. It is you who is in my head every single second of every single day. It is you I think about as I fall asleep and you I think about the moment I awake. I would crawl through hell on my knees just to be able to kiss you, to hold you, to love you. But I can’t….I can’t, y/n.” 

You held your breath, a few tears leaking from your eyes. This was everything you’d ever wanted. These were words he had only ever told you in your dreams. And here he was, finally saying them for real. But in the same breath, telling you that this, that you and him, would never, ever happen.

“Why?” you whispered. “Why?”

But Azriel said nothing further. Just knelt on his knees in front of you like he was praying to the Gods, his head bowed between his shoulders, his wings drooping against the floor. You waited for him to say anything, anything that might help you understand. But nothing…nothing ever came from his mouth.

You loosened a breath, your heart heavy in your chest and left.

Left Azriel on his knees in that room, with the words he said hanging over him like a death sentence.  

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

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*If you don't see your username and you asked to be tagged, it's bc it won't let me for some dumb reason.

*Hope you guys don't hate me too much!! We'll get some more Az POV soon and maybe next part we'll finally get some answersss ;)

[theosmommy1966]

Unfair Love

Your fingers were cramping from how hard you were holding the door. Your eyes mad to be deceiving you, Regulus fucking Black cant be standing in front of you. The guy you loved from the simply age of 5 all the way until the end of school. He had been your best friend, the guy you pined over for years and years while he pushed you aside every time he got a girlfriend. Only to suck you right back in when he got bored. 

“No..” You said moving to close the door to your brother's manor. Tom, Mattheo and You were triplets. Magical beings already formed crazy connections but the three of you could literally feel each other and each other's major feelings. So the shock and pain of seeing Regulus had pulled them from the upstairs living room to the top of the stairs. Leaning against opposite walls, Tom positions so he could see down the stairs easily keeping an eye on you while being positioned in a way to be easily overlooked. 

When Regulus pushed his way in, it took everything in both of them to stay put but your voice stopped them. “Tom is home. If that's not bad enough, so is Mattheo. Do not come any further into my home Regulus.” Regulus paused just inside the door, while he had been friends with both boys in school. He also knew they were fiercely protective of their ‘baby’ sister. They would kill each other if the other hurt her, so they would easily Avada him if he pushed to hard. 

“Y/n.. Dont marry him.” He said in a nonchalant tone. Acting like he wasnt rocking her world and trying to crumble her relationship to pieces. “ Regulus.. Your being a dick.” You said unconsciously stepping towards the stairs and pulling your hands up to your chest. He stepped towards you and smiled in a cocky way that made you want to slap him “Come on y/n/n, you know you its always been me.. Dont marry him.” 

Those words sparked anger in your gut. 

Stepping towards him this time you sneer. “I was second to every single girl that even looked your way in school! You literally asked me to the yule ball and then FORGOT and went with some girl from Ravenclaw! I cant.. I wont.. I.. I..” It felt like a let down to your last name when that spark died and never turned into a fire as you started to almost hyperventilate. Every time he broke your heart played through your head as his eyes flicked above your head. 

You didnt need to turn around to know your brothers were coming down. Mattheo was past you quickly, having moved before your breathing even got uneven. Tom wasnt as familiar with panic and anxiety attacks as you and he were. He didnt stop to comfort you as he grabbed his old friend harshly and jerked him out the door. He didnt slam it on his way out knowing that would just startle you and make it worse. 

Tom had always for some reason been the one you went to for comfort. You thought it was probably just because he was the ‘oldest’. He was the one who retucked you into bed when you had bad dreams even though he was the same age. He had always just carried himself in a way that gave big brother vibes. Every where you went people thought you and Matt were twins and Tom was the older brother. 

He would always have a hard time dealing with others feelings but he always made the most effort for his siblings. When you collapsed onto the stairs and started sobbing he moved the rest of the way to you quickly. He tries to get you to calm your breathing but its like you cant hear him. He does the only thing he knows too, the same thing he use to do when you were children and he couldnt wake you from a nightmare. Pressing his forehead to yours he gently entered your mind. it was easy to find you in panic because when all the thoughts finally formed into a picture you were stood frozen while everything moved around you. 

Him saying your name broke your focus as you turned confused then relieved to see him. “Tommy” You said in a broken whisper as he reached for you, tucking your head against his shoulder and hugging you he looked around. “Lets walk through all this, yeah?” Nodding against his chest “I just feel so much right now.. Im so mad at Regulus. Ive tried my entire life to be what he wants, to be someone he sees but he never did. I was just someone to placate his ego in between relationships.” 

Tom watches as memories of you crying, of Regulus manipulating you and leaving flash around him and he squeezes tighter. “He hasnt spoken t-to me in years and then he just shows up here the night before Im supposed to get married?!” You sob and then suck in a harsh breath “Oh my god. Teddy.. Whats he going to think when he finds out I was crying over another man when im supposed to be relaxing and getting ready to marry him!” 

You pull away and pull out of your head and then away from Tom in the real world. Standing you start to pace and pull at your hair. Tom sighs and stands to try and stop you but the door flies open. Mattheo running in frantically looking for you, only to be shoved out of the way by your tall sandy blond fiancee. “Tesoro” He barley whispers as he rushes to pull you into his arms. Your knees giving out again but he keeps you up. His huge hand cups the back of your head and neck as he shushes you gently. 

Theo swears his heart is breaking as your shoulders rack with sobs. He turns to look at his other best friends, Tom is staring at the door, clearing pissed and trying to stay put. Mattheo is pulling at his own hair when he sees the questions in his friends eyes. Hes struggling because he wants to tell him so he can better comfort you, but he doesnt want to betray your trust. Thankfully he doesnt have to, you can feel his panic and pull away just enough too look up. “Regulus was here.” 

Theos head snaps back to you and he tries to reign in his feelings quickly knowing that they will all play out on his face. His first feeling was worry, he had worked so hard to show you how you should actually be treated. So many dates where he couldnt even hold your hand yet. Regulus had treated you so poorly from day one that his nontoxic love was foreign and unwelcome. 

You had grown up in vastly different environments. Birthing triplets had killed your mother. While your father wasn't horrible or abusive, he was unattentive. He would rather you have a nanny (who he sleeps with before replacing and repeating) then try and raise you alone. While Theo grew up with parents who not only loved him but each other. 

Next was anger at the audacity. Then was worry again but this time for you. Taking a deep breath and taking your cheek in one hand he wipes your tears away. “Ok, tell me why your so upset by that. We have to be on the same page to talk through this. Can we go sit down?” you shake your head and pull him up the stairs, away from your brothers to your room. You let go of his hand and keep walking straight for your bathroom. 

After a few mintues long arms wrapped around you, crossing over and gripping your upper arms. “Im here, Tesoro. Whenever your ready.” You didnt register any measure of time as you stood under the water with him holding you and pressing kisses to your neck and shoulder. “I dont deserve you theo..” you say so quietly he almost doesnt hear. Before he can ask what you mean your already speaking. “Here I am, the night before marrying you, crying over some other guy.. God im so horrible.” 

Before your hands can cover your face, Theo has spun you around and is tilting your face forcing you to look at him. He looks just a little annoyed as he speaks, “Dont say that. Do you remember what Tesoro means?” You sniffle and nod but he raises his eyebrows waiting for you to say it. “It means treasure.” He nods and smiles just a little “So.. My Tesoro couldnt be horrible.. I get it darling.. He was your first love, theres a lot of trauma there. I know your not crying because you miss him, your crying for 17 year old you, for 15 year old you and so on. And thats ok, because thats how we heal.” 

Theos heart warmed as you stare up at him in awe. “I know its difficult for you, my love. That this open communication and understanding isnt something that comes naturally too you. So youll have to give me just a little grace while I continue to learn to navigate you. I promise one day Ill be an expert.” He leans in and kisses your forehead, staying there for just a moment to give you both a second to pull yourselves together. 

When he pulled back the smile he loves was back on your face. He sighs happily and kisses your nose before looking at you. Everything was right in his world again, all he needed to do now, was wait for you to go to sleep. Because Regulus.. Well Theo completely understood where YOU were coming from. But Black? Nah. While tending to lean towards his mothers Hufflepuff nature, sometimes he needs to remind people why he was sorted into Slytherin. Why he became friends with The Dark Lords children. Why he and your brothers trusted him to care for you. And tonight, it would be Regulus` turn to learn. 

[jen-with-a-pen]

(In Your) Arms Tonight - 1/2

summary: Hypothesis: If he (Wade) turns off the AC, then they (Wade and Logan) will have no choice but to strip naked and end up sticky and gross and hard together!

That's what he was taught in middle school, right?

pairing: Logan Howlett x Wade Wilson / Worst Wolverine x Deadpool

word count: 1.3k

warnings: MDNI 18+, Wade's POV-ish, blood mention, knife mention, beer mention, Wade's fuckin horny and thirsty y'all, pining, cursing, claws, Wade is looking ✨respectively✨, crude humor and language, slight Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers, no smut (yet, sorry)

a/n: AUGH DONT LOOK AT ME (actually please do I cannot hold this in any longer.) currently part one of two parts. posting the first one now as I am currently traveling for work and won't be back until beginning of September and then part two will be out when i either A. Get home or B. Finish it and format it in between running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Please be patient with me! I will not tolerate "whEreS PaRt Two?¿??" when I literally just told you. Hope y'all enjoy one of the many products of my brain rot. More to come in due time ✨

Not beta'd. Written on my phone and edited via gdocs. Post formatted on mobile because I don't wanna use my work computer lmao

Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

If I've missed any tags, PLEASE let me know!

gif by @tomshiddles | dividers by @saradika-graphics | warning banner by me ❤️

My AO3 | My Masterlist

Read this fic HERE on AO3

❤️ Reblogs and comments are appreciated, as always ❤️

PART ONE | PART TWO

The abs are great. More than great, actually. In fact, they're all Wade thinks, dreams, and fantasizes about. All day, everyday, non-fucking-stop. The moment replays over and over in his fucked up noodle brain like a scratched record. He knows muscle memory is a thing, but what about salivatory memory?

Christ. He's gotta get a grip instead of getting hard.

But what about when Logan isn't flexing hard enough to rip his goddamn suit off?

Wade notices Logan becoming more relaxed around the apartment as the days pass. Adjusting to his new life, coming out of the bedroom earlier than he has to on days when he gets a turn to sleep on a real bed. It's Sofa City most of the time– which he really doesn't mind, he almost prefers it most of the time (since it's in clear sight of the front door) but Wade more often than not likes to insist they share his 'much-too-big-for-lil-old-me' twin XL mattress that's seen more stains than sex in the last year alone.

Logan's compromise is he'll take the bed and Wade the couch half the time. Alone. They're still working on the negotiations of said compromise, but the jury– Blind Al– is still out on recess.

Once he's more settled in, Logan learns that it's okay to kick off his boots and put his feet up. It's not often, but enough that Wade silently wishes he'd rest those big meaty calves on his lap instead. He's been needing a new weighted blanket and Adamantium-coated tibias and hairy legs are so in right now.

Logan doesn't know it, but Wade secretly plays 'ohmygodhetotallylookedatme' whenever he so much as catches a glimpse of Wade oggling at him in his peripherals. Wade can't help it when Broody and the Beast's ribbed white muscle shirt pulls taut against those deliciously plump pecs that he silently prays it'll burst off again. Or he'll rip it off. Or Logan will rip it off. For him.

A boy can dream.

It's especially hard to win at 'OMGHTLAM' when Logan accessorizes– AKA throwing on whatever flannel is in rotation out of the several he finds at the thrift store a few blocks over. Wade feels his throat tighten like his jeans do when Logan wears the forest green one. Really brings out his eyes.

And smile. And lips. And–

It's still summer, so on the hotter days, when sweat glistens on his brow and Wade desperately wishes to be the back of Logan's hand, the tank top comes off. All Logan's sweaty, gloriously muscular body has on is a wonderfully worn-in pair of jeans with the hem of black briefs poking out behind the denim waist.

Do they have AC? Yes. Because Wade would have to plan a funeral for Al if they didn't.

But when she's out and about, he likes to turn it off and let the New York heat wave run its course. Sure, it leaves him sticky and gross, but he'd rather be sticky and gross and hard when he can help it.

Luckily, Blind Al is gone for the whole weekend. Some girls trip or a drug mule job. Same difference.

Hypothesis: If he (Wade) turns off the AC, then they (Wade and Logan) will have no choice but to strip naked and end up sticky and gross and hard together!

That's what he was taught in middle school, right?

With the push of a button and a sprinkle of patience, Logan is splayed out on the couch in a matter of hours with a lukewarm beer in hand while fighting his eyelids from dozing off to some random war documentary. Sweat beads on his temples and there's a slight sheen to his skin from his biceps to the lower V pointing down to between his thighs. He chuckles every so often, mumbling things to himself between swigs of beer and shaking his head when the narrator gets something 'wrong.'

Wade busies himself in the kitchen but his eyes are permanently glued to his roommate. He doesn’t miss the way Logan's stomach rises and falls gently, the rock-hard six pack softening into rolling hills of muscle with a layer of dark hair covering as much surface area as immortal-like hormones will allow. Grown out beard, chops, and messy hair really throw the whole look together; very 2000s, if you ask Wade. His pecs look just as soft as a pair of titties, if not softer, and Wade knows it. He'd do anything to lay his perfect little head on Logan's chest. Maybe lick it too, if he's a good boy. 

Logan perks up suddenly from the couch.

Oh God did he say that out loud?

"Wade?"

Wade doesn't hear him. Can't hear him. Half-refuses to hear him, honestly. Daydreaming takes up a whole lotta brain power and this show isn't running itself. Economy, budget cuts, unprecedented times. You know the shtick. 

"Wade."

Nothing but a bead of drool comes out of Wade's mouth. 

Suddenly, there's a crash right behind Wade's head and now he's awake. He whips around to the ale-spattered wall behind him and back to Logan, who's now standing with claws drawn and chest heaving.

Wade swears he's blushing. 

Eyes wide and brow standing up straight like his good little soldier, Wade looks down at the counter before him to find a bloodbath of a scene: one hand's on a knife while the other spews blood all over the yellowed counter tops; there's remnants of a carrot that was finished five minutes ago, followed directly by remnants of fingers cut down to the last fucking knuckle and slice marks beginning down the back of his hand.

Wade holds up his spurting stump, gashed artery doing a spot-on impression of Ol' fucking Faithful.

"Oh. Huh. Thought I smelled something," he says, staring at his now-tingling hand. Baby fingers for the rest of the night were so worth the staring contest with Logan's beautiful body.

"Fuckin' idiot," Logan mutters, sheathing his claws and striding over to the hall closet to grab a towel. Wade's already stopped bleeding, but just because they might be immune to bloodborne pathogens doesn't mean Al is.

"Gah– get back, damn mutt." Logan shoos Dogpool out of the kitchen to prevent her from lapping up her papa's bodily fluids. He throws the towel in Wade's face and goes to grab the bleach out of the cupboard under the sink. Logan learned very quickly where to find it the first time this happened a month or two ago.

"Sorry baby, Mommy's got a boo-boo and Daddy's just trying to help," Wade coos at Dogpool. "You're too good to me, peanut. Someone oughta wife ya up before I do."

Logan responds with a scowl as he tosses the carrots out and tries to keep the counter from staining. "Why th'fuck did you do that?"

"It was time for a new hand. Old one was so last season."

Wade mops up the blood from his arm and wraps the towel onto his head like he's just gotten out of the shower. Holding up his regenerating stump, he poses like a cover model for Vogue.

"Whatcha think, peanut?" He strikes another pose. "Is this doing anything for ya, big boy?"

Logan grunts as he tosses a wad of paper towels into the trash can. He turns to leave the kitchen, eyes flicking to Wade. It's the quickest once over ever, but Wade sees it. Commits it to memory while he pulls a Flashdance in a chair from the kitchen table and follows Logan's denim-clad ass as it sways off to the bathroom. 

"'M gonna go shower. Don't wait up,” Logan calls before shutting the door and locking it. 

Sighing, Wade looks down at his crotch, pants tent pitched higher and tighter than a first-timer on Everest.

Good thing he's ambidextrous.

[nariism]

my brother's best friend

pair. miya osamu x gn!reader

content: fluff, attempts at humour, miya atsumu is a little shit, first loves, mutual pining

synopsis. miya osamu takes pride in the fact that he’s the smarter of the twins. he, in fact, is not (especially when it comes to you).

wc. 3.1k

a/n: om nom nom nom nom brother's best friend trope nom nom nom... ok i have to come clean about this fic i literally wrote the first draft for this in 2021 on WATTPAD and it's been sitting dormant forever up until recently. enjoy 🫶

‎oh my god, how did i end up here?

it’s the only thought repeating over and over again in osamu’s head as he sits there staring at you. you’re too preoccupied with the menu in your hands to notice his unwavering gaze, scanning through it and muttering to yourself indecisively about what to order.

of course, the question of how he ended up here on a date with you could be summarized in one simple sentence:

miya atsumu is the world’s biggest idiot.

if kita or aran were here they would surely be poking fun at him right now, lecturing him about how his dna is a perfect carbon copy of atsumu’s. and while they would be right, osamu is convinced his brother has at least 70% less brain cell capacity.

the thought makes him feel a little smug. (he’s in the class under atsumu.)

you were friends. at least as far as how often you saw each other, he considered you good friends. maybe. not that he knew all that much about you other than the fact that you were constantly... around. if he didn’t know that atsumu was the biggest knucklehead on planet earth, he would have assumed you were dating. but he knew his brother was too invested in volleyball to be seeing anyone seriously, and you didn’t didn’t seem like the type to mess around with guys like him anyways.

you were way too level-headed for that despite the raunchy, head-turning jokes you liked to tell, which honestly might be the reason why atsumu keeps you around.

whenever you came to their house, you would stick to lounging in atsumu’s room or the living room. you typically avoided disturbing osamu and the rest of their family — not like they minded having you around. no, in fact, their mother had a strange soft spot for you. you were quiet and well mannered, until it was just the three of you and suddenly an onslaught of fierce attacks on poor atsumu would commence.

for the majority of your friendship, you have stayed out of his way and he stays out of yours. you only talk to each other when deemed necessary, like when walking home from school or when you shyly greet him at the door because atsumu is on the toilet. he does, however, rejoice in the fact that there is another person on the atsumu hate train, and appreciates that you’re at least colourful with your insults. it’s impressive, really.

(he would never admit it. never. never ever. but it warms his heart a little that there’s someone out there just like him, expressing their love for miya atsumu in less conventional ways.)

you were quick witted and funny. a free source of entertainment when he would grow bored of his brother’s shenanigans. and it was a two way street, because when you needed a break from atsumu, osamu was always right there. 

you were noticeably gentler with the younger of the miya twins: asking him how school was, and if he needed help with his chemistry homework, and what he had for lunch. menial little things, but sometimes he found himself thinking that it was the highlight of his day.

otherwise, your presence in his life is, as osamu considers it, indifferent.

sure, he likes to look at you. and sometimes, maybe, he wishes you and atsumu would invite him around more often. it also doesn’t help his heart when you’re so nice to him, like when you’re all having dinner together and you pretend you don’t want the last dumpling on your plate and shovel it onto his. he likes that. or when you invite yourself into their freezer for ice cream, you always make sure to grab an extra one for him. there have been multiple occasions in which you’ve wordlessly slid him your notes to copy, too.

you were good at that; knowing what others wanted and being more selfless than the average person. you’re a people pleaser, and though he and atsumu used to make fun of your type when they were kids, your charm is undeniable.

unfortunately, actually making any sort of move on you is out of the question. not only would it potentially complicate things between you and him, it would also risk putting a strain on your friendship with atsumu. making his brother’s life a living hell is what miya osamu was born into this world to do, but for some reason his stomach turns at the thought of ruining your friendship.

you were just atsumu’s cute best friend. nothing less, nothing more. and he would very much like to beat the “i fell in love with my brother’s best friend” allegations, thank you.

he realizes he’s still looking at you intently with his arms crossed over his chest. he watches as your nose scrunches a little in thought, trying to decide between their two best sellers. he sighs in relief when you get up to order for yourself, tucking a stray hair under his cap before going back to sulking with his thoughts.

atsumu had a lot of bad ideas. so many that if they sat down and listed them all out they might be there for a couple days. but this? this is his worst one yet. and how osamu managed to get roped (bribed) into this, he will never know. but here he is, and here you are, and here atsumu is not.

he really should get better at saying no to atsumu.

(“c’mon, ‘samu! please? for me?!”

“what the hell? no. that’s a shitty thing to do. just tell them ya can’t go.”

“but it’s their birthday! they were lookin’ forward to this. they’ll hate me forever if i bailed!”

“and? why would i help you? ‘specially with somethin’ so stupid. it’s your fault you didn’t plan better.”

“don’t be like that, y’know it was a last minute thing!”

a beat of silence.

“pretty please? it’s their birthday… you guys are friends too, right?”

osamu can’t believe he’s entertaining this stupid idea for even a second. you’re not an idiot. you’d know it’s him with a single glance.

“this is an all time low, even for you. they’ll notice it’s me right away. are ya crazy, ‘tsumu? hit your head or somethin’?”

“it’s just this one time! i’ll never ask ya for anythin’ ever again. never ever ever ever, i swear it.”

“...’tsumu…”

“don’t sound so tired with me! do this for your big brother. have i mentioned it’s their birthday?”

big brother? osamu scoffs loudly.

“you actually mentioned it three times. and yer only a couple minutes older than me. but... fine.”

“don’t be such a jacka- wait, what?”

“i said fine. but you owe me lunch for the next two weeks.”

“deal!”

“... are ya sure they won’t know it’s me? i mean, i really think you should reconsider-”

“oh shut up, ‘samu, we’re identical!”

“just know that i won’t hesitate to throw ya under the bus if shit hits the fan.”)

what a terrible plan. pretending to be atsumu was proving to be harder than he initially anticipated. he would have thought that spending every agonizing, waking, living hour with his brother would have trained him well enough, but atsumu is so no-chill that it’s somehow making this already horrible idea even worse with every passing second.

surprisingly, you haven’t said anything. you haven’t acknowledged the massive elephant in the room. this could only mean one of three things:

1. you’ve noticed, but you’re desperately trying to spare atsumu’s feelings and osamu’s embarrassment by not bringing it up.

2. you’re dumber than he thought. dumber than a rock, actually, if you didn’t take one look at osamu and know it was him.

3. you are a cruel, wicked, evil, deranged human being who finds osamu’s situation entirely hilarious and wants this to go on for as long as possible.

judging by your casual banter, he’s willing to bet it’s either option one or two. you’re twirling a lanyard around your finger when you finally return with your drink of choice in tow. next destination: the local aquarium. atsumu put a surprising amount of effort into planning the day.

it’s a shame he hadn’t accounted for planning himself into it.

‎he shouldn’t have agreed to come here.

spending time alone with you like this was bound to stir up feelings he’d long ago buried in the hollows of his heart. of the miya twins, osamu was always better at keeping his emotions under wraps. there were rare occasions in which he lost his cool, in which he was actually somehow worse than atsumu, but in general he was as level-headed as you were.

you’re ruining him and his plans to never acknowledge his feelings for you.

it’s unfair, really, how his heart seemingly gets lodged in his throat when you cling to his arm so tightly, laughing and pointing out all the funny-looking fish. and when you point at something called a vampire squid, raving about how long it took you to find one in animal crossing, he nearly crumbles to his knees and puts his head in his hands.

(in other words, he’s totally whipped. he’s not beating those allegations.)

osamu thought he could get used to looking at anyone’s face. he always found people boring — he grew up being the other half of his brother, after all. the miya twins are many things, but boring is not one of them, and to entertain them you have to be someone with a special brand of humour.

but now, as he looks at you with the soft blue glow from the tank shining against your face, he can’t help the thought that crosses his mind:

i could never get tired of this.

“... hailing from the depths of tropical and subtropical waters, the vampire squid feeds on marine snow.”

he blinks back into reality, eyes drifting from you to the sea creature you’re admiring, then back to you. “marine snow? sounds gross.”

“it’s the debris that falls to the lower levels of the ocean. lots of deep sea creatures feed that way since it saves them the energy of needing to go hunt.”

osamu seems skeptical. “they really just eat anythin’ like that?”

your head turns to look at him. there’s a little smile playing on your face, like you seem amused by what he just said. “sounds like someone i know.”

he makes a strange expression in response. were you talking about him? did you often bring him up when you were alone with atsumu? the soft and fond look in your eyes doesn’t help his racing heart. the idea that you and atsumu talk about him in private so sweetly makes his face burn slightly in embarrassment.

he shakes his head to get the thought out of his brain before stuffing his hands into his pockets.

your arm finds his again, locking together. it’s an oddly intimate action, even if you think he really is atsumu. he doesn’t know you to be the most touchy person on earth, though he supposes he can’t see what you’re like behind the closed doors of his brother’s bedroom. his blood boils for some reason.

you stop at the next tank, the one situated in the centre of the room filled high with kelp and schools of tiny fish. you’re looking at them with wide eyes, light shimmering in them. he could cry right now. you look like an angel bathed in the shadows of dancing fish as your gaze carefully follows a school circling around the top of the aquarium.

there’s a feeling swimming inside of him, unfamiliar and oh so dreadful. he can feel it in raging in every part of him — in his heart, in the fiery pits of his stomach, in his throat — and he knows exactly which word comes to mind.

miya osamu may be in the lowest class in his year, and he might share a single brain cell with his brother, but he’s read enough books to describe this feeling. he’s listened to enough love songs to know this ache in him.

if you asked him ten years from now, he’d tell you exactly the same thing as he would right now; that your first love is always petrifying.

“pretty, aren’t they?”

“yeah. real pretty.”

but he hasn’t looked at them even once. how could he when there’s a living, breathing angel standing next to him?

‎osamu delivers you to your doorstep that night.

it feels like a dream, the whole day and having the privilege of holding your hand and feeling your body against his.

maybe it was just the greedy monster in him speaking. the laws of the universe dictate that if it’s you and osamu, atsumu needs to be there, too. the miya twins have always come in a package. a duo. there is no just atsumu or just osamu, at least there wasn’t until you came along.

suddenly it was you and atsumu. it was atsumu and osamu, and you. but there was never just you and osamu. it didn’t work that way.

well, screw the universe and its laws. osamu never believed in that astrology shit anyways.

he’s fully prepared to keep this day an untarnished memory — something to cherish when life goes back to normal and he’s unable to stand shoulder to shoulder like this with you again.

when you lean in to kiss him, there is only one thought repeating in his mind like a mantra:

it’s just once. just one day. one last perfect memory.

you’re so close that he can feel your breath filling his lungs. his heart hammers where it rests in his chest, so loud that he can hear it thundering in his ears. it’s then that he realizes this is wrong. all of it is wrong.

he recoils back with lightning speed, and his heart aches at the sight of your disappointed and puzzled expression. but it’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to atsumu either.

he cares about both of you too much to be selfish right now.

how could he possibly risk hurting two of the people he cared most about in the world? he couldn’t be that self-centred, to be able to steal a kiss from you just to keep his memories of this day perfect.

perfect doesn’t exist if none of it is real.

“i’m not… i’m not who you think i am.”

he slides the hat off his head with shame burning in his cheeks, avoiding your eyes like a child who got caught with his hand in a cookie jar. it was time for him to be honest, both with you and himself.

“look, yer really cool. and i– crap, it’s complicated, ‘kay? i might like you. like– like you, like you. i wasn’t thinkin’ straight. 'm really sorry, i know it was wrong to string you along, i was just havin’ so much fun today that–”

his mouth suddenly comes to a halt as you reach forward and capture his cheeks between your fingers, squishing them together so he’ll stop rambling.

you look at him with a confused but amused smile. “um, ‘samu? i like you, too.”

“what?” he sputters out as much as he can with his face still held in place. his brows furrow, but all rational thoughts have stopped flowing in his mind. he’s staring at you like a flabbergasted idiot, so you continue.

“why else would i agree to go on a date with you on my birthday?”

“but– i– huh?”

your head tilts. “this was a date, wasn’t it?”

it dawns on him then. it had never occurred to osamu that there was another explanation for your strange lack of acknowledgment that he is painfully easy to see through:

4. you like him and simply thought this was a date. you like him as much as he likes you, which is a stupid amount. after all, he likes you enough to go through with an infinite number of atsumu’s terrible ideas just to make you happy.

of course you weren’t that dense. of course he was found out the second you laid eyes on him. of course he had misread the entire situation because he was blinded by his brother’s boisterous claims that they were indistinguishable.

“this is ridiculous. i can’t believe you–… atsumu somehow always pulls through even when he doesn’t mean to.”

“what do you mean?”

“whadd’ya mean, what do i mean?”

“about atsumu?”

“oh, he was freakin’ out about missin’ today and wanted me to go through this whole thing pretendin' i’m him so ya wouldn’t be mad at him.”

“but he already told me he couldn’t make it today? you really didn’t have to do… all this,” you gesture to his whole body with a flick of your wrist.

at your words osamu finally crumbles to his knees in pure agony. he looks up to the sky, to whatever god has forsaken him by making atsumu his other half, and sighs with the weight of the world on his shoulders. he can just imagine the shit-eating grin his brother has right now.

“i’m…” he pauses, carefully selecting his next words, “going to smother him with a pillow.”

you blink at him for a moment before all the pieces fall into place.

all the times you’d gushed to atsumu about your massive crush on his twin and the way he’d complain to no end about neither of you making a move, forcing him to watch on with mild disgust as his best friend and brother made goo goo eyes at each other. all the times he would “forget” his shoes at the gym and need to run back to grab them, pushing you into small talk with osamu. all the times he would suffer through your teasing just to see the two of you walking side-by-side sharing proud little smiles.

atsumu’s resume looks something like this: world’s biggest idiot, volleyball player, third-wheel, and tired wingman.

you’ll have to thank him later.

“no wonder you’ve been acting so weird all day! i thought you were just one of those guys who gets nervous on first dates!” accompanied by this statement is a laugh that makes osamu weak.

he grumbles. “what’s so funny?”

“say what you want, but you’re as dumb as ‘tsumu.”

“no… please… don’t compare me to that nitwit… i might have a heart attack at this rate.”

you snicker quietly as you help osamu back onto his feet, eyes shimmering with joy as you let his confession sink in.

“you’re right, he is an idiot.”

“dumbass.”

“moron.”

“he’s gonna hate us even more from now on,” osamu smiles uncontrollably, inching closer to you again.

“yeah?” your lips brush against his daringly, “i can live with that.”

EXTRA:

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

🏷️ @hyomagiri (im dead like actually dead)

[vespertin-y]

OKAY I FINALLY WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS. TEN YEARS LATE I KNOW. i was expecting to have to power through a bunch of boring kid stuff to get to the actual interesting drama and i was so so wrong i locked tf in and finished it in two days. it's so good what the actual fuck. heres my thoughts on the main characters

mabel: when i was the actual target audience for this show i saw a bit of mabel while flipping through disney XD and i immediately concluded that she was annoying af and i would never watch this show because of her. i would like to repent for this evil evil take by flinging myself belly down onto shattered glass. MABEL MY BABY GIRL...if they ever put her in another Situation or Scenario ill kill someone fr. she's a little too selfish and a little too pushy sure but so genuinely KIND and SWEET and so willing to make a fool of herself to pull her dumb brother out of his head. that unicorn doesn't know jack i hope she gets everything she wants forever

dipper: if i had watched gf as a kid i would have been in very real danger of naming myself after this guy (which doesn't even work bc im not nearly as cool as him!! the woodland creatures would have eaten my ass). it would've been so easy to give him a generic gaining confidence arc but he is never a coward when it really matters and i think that's great. he may not be able to talk to a girl but he can and will beat a gnome to death with a shovel for touching his sister!!! also yeah he is extremely transgender.

stan: OUUUUUGH. STARTS SOBBING. stanley pines the man that you are. i assumed at first that his plot would be about Learning To Love but no he is 100% on board with being the world's best grunkle from minute one. he definitely fucks up sometimes (putting waddles outside comes to mind as does. The Other Thing) but he always tries his very best to fix it. every action he takes just oozes with care for his family. every time i thought he had a motivation that wasn't his family they pulled the rug out from under me and revealed that it was, in fact, just his family again. he would give everything for them. AND HE LITERALLY DOES??? im gonna vomit. he hand stitched fishing hats 😭😭😭

wendy: definitely my least favorite of the main cast im sorry wendyheads...i just feel like there isn't a lot to get into here. every time they imply there's something more going on with her or her family they just snap her right back into The Coolest Girl In The World which might be fun but it's not that interesting.

soos: SOOS MY FRIEND SOOS!!!! i wobbled on him during the middle of the show bc i felt like they were making him Genuinely Dumb instead of just a good babysitter but they pulled his characterization back around by the end i think. he is like me in that he would also die for the mystery twins without hesitation or regret 💖. a lesser show would've been really mean about soos but gf is BASED and SOOSPILLED so he gets what he deserves. he does not have to lose weight or drop his "childish" interests or stop living with his grandma to WIN AT LIFE. awesome girlfriend! dream job! big house! stan using that boat to hunt down his bio dad and kill him, probably!

ford: ill be honest and admit i hated this guy at first but eventually i learned to live laugh love about his massive incredibly fragile ego ruining everything all the time and now i am a big ford enjoyer. what a FREAK oh my god. he believed his journals to be capable of destroying the world and still refused to destroy them because they're His Life's Work????? he had the painfully obvious option to tell bill he didn't know the equation and stall for time and chose instead to say that OBVIOUSLY he knows it he's the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE he's just not TELLING YOU 😤 and then immediately got tortured????? he spent most of his screentime projecting his relationship issues onto an Actual Child?????????? he needs to go to therapy and learn he's not the main character of the universe but he will not be doing that so i can only hope the boat fixes him. if i was stanley i'd've fed him to the shapeshifter.

bill: SIGH. YES OKAY HE'S MY FAVORITE. I KNOW I'M FUCKING PREDICTABLE DON'T @ ME. i spent 90% of his screentime cracking up and the other 10% making Homosexual Detection Eyebrows at my brother! the ideal ratio!!!!! i can't wait to get my hands on the book so i can poor little meowmeow him more efficiently. i knew i was saving that barnes & noble gift card for something important.

[hollowwish]

List of arosepc headcanons I have below (it is quite long) (list subject to future updates/suggestions (you can send me propaganda for your blorbo))

Ford Pines - he literally just has the vibes tbh. Crazy uncle who doesn't want anyone bc he's aromantic and obsessed with portals. also it would make billford worse.

Mable Pines - she literally picks her crushes and then stops 'liking' them in week. Do you know how many aromantic people have done this.

Hollyleaf warrior cats - fallen leaves was her qpp. Okay. The website family tree is lying to you. If Lionblaze asked her when she would get married she'd respond with "I'm already married to the warrior code."

Sonic T. Hedgehog - it's in character. Sega themsleves said he would hate settling down.... (I also think hes bi)

huey dewey louie or webby duck(tales) - at least one of them is arosepc I just can't figure out which one. Or maybe it's all of them

Della duck - cool aromantic lesbian mom. She does not need a husband or a partner she just needs her ducklings (and donald ig)

lapis lazuil - ngl I was rewatching steven universe and I just had a Feeling. Also she's one of my favorite characters, so.

Rise Leo - he's like Mabel he's doing comphet. (I think he's gay aromantic specifically and just keeps mistaking "I want to be friends with this guy/wow they're attractive" with "I want to date him") (also makes the fandom wide headcanon of aro donnie really funny. Wrong twin guys..)

C!peal and c!gem - especially empires s1. Pearl being aroace and gem being arospec but she hasn't figured that out yet (insert "I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job" image)

On that note, empires 1 fwhip has and will always be demiromantic in my mind

No idea what e2 fwhip has going on but he is somewhere on the aro spectrum. Maybe it's why he's so weird abt jimmy.

ONE Jimmy solidarity character is also arosepc I just don't know which one. But one of them is i know it in my bones.

grian and scar- they are both aros who fuck and 3rd life was world shattering platonic love.

Donatello tmnt - I haven't seen every tmnt iteration but like. ONE of them is aro and it is NOT rise donnie

Scott smajor - @/funkily suggested he was cupio and it made way too much sense

Saiki kusuo - do I even need to explain this one. It's basically canon (unless it is canon and I just missed something)

Wednesday Addams - most aromantic coded girl ever and I'm going to fight netflix for making her kiss barista boy

Shadow the Hedgehog - he's arospec. ("Im probably aromantic but i have a job and trauma")

Twilight Sparkle - if you asked her what love is she would give you the dictionary definition

Honorable mentions -

Oli theorionsound (suggested by sage thinkingabout-girls)

Whatever the fuck was going on with divorce quartet in double life specifically

Violet and lena saberwing ducktales

Also ducktales gosalyn

At least one of the powerpuff girls

Adrien agreste because (iirc) he sucks at romance and I need to escape love square hell

Mumbo jumbo

Arospec mythicalsausage

Maud Pie (I think if I finished mlp she'd be on the list)

[kitpanthera]

chapters 23-25 🎉

1. i forgot to ask about it with the last chapter, but what did bill need to do that required him to possess dipper? did they destroy the laptop?

2. with dipper spending all of that time in the mindspace, are there any other consequences beyond his internal clock being messed up?

3. dipper enjoying not being in control,,, not having to worry about what he's doing because he doesn't even want to be awake anymore,,,, side effects of always having to monitor and adapt to the moods of those around him? or constantly having to be "on" in case mabel needed him or needed his emotional support?

4. dipper doesn't care about his hands being hurt unless he has to go to the hospital for it because it'll delay their plans,,, i'm wailing in the streets. does bill not teach dipper any healing magic because he doesn't know any? it's not like an interdimentional demon with no weaknesses would need it!

5. "what i don't say doesn't mean anything." "i disagree." in one character interaction, you've outlined the entire story.

6. Axolotl!

- immediately calling him mason... to throw dipper off, because that's his birth name, or to signify how serious the conversation is?

- dipper feeling peace he's never felt before,,, i know it's the axolotl's soothing magic but it's also imagine it has to do with dipper never feeling at peace in general? the axolotl turns out to be a cosmic manifestation of anti-anxiety meds lol

- "i did not intervene last time, and the consequences were nearly catastrophic for this dimension." THIS dimension,,, the title being "take two",,, are they in something similar to a time loop? bill's second attempt at winning dipper over?

- the axolotl saying that they agreed on stuff and then dipper being an idiot NOT being one of the things lmaooo, frills is so messy for that 😭

- dipper trying to fight the peace so he can stand up to the axolotl and defend bill!!! he's absolutely right though -- i can't see bill doing well in the theraprism. it's not an environment that works for everyone! but dipper is giving him a reason to change,,,,

7. "even if i wanted to, which i don't, i have nothing to go back to." 😐 if i had a therapist, you would be hearing from them about this 😐

8. bill literally having a breakdown but dipper just cheering that they're making progress. at least he was able to help bill ground himself?

9. THE LAST SPEC OF BILL'S DIMENSION BEING A STAR IS SO CRUEL

10. no "it would eat you alive, pine tree" because dipper already knows that what destroyed bill's dimension isn't a monster to him!

11. dipper swearing not to betray bill,,, i wonder if there's more magic in statements like that than he realizes. not a deal but more like a magic promise, even if unintentional?

12. during the training with illusion-ford, ford cuts himself off from the third thing he was going to list bill as,,, billford nation rise ‼️

13. dipper literally repeating what he said last chapter about being in too deep,,,, i wonder if he's really pondering about that or just something he's accepted?

14. "i'd like to see mom and dad ignore that!" i'm going to end up on national news ✨️🥰💞 though i'm sure his parents would still find a way to ignore him during the apocalypse!

15. "nothing anyone says will be able to change my mind." hm.

16. dipper reflecting the changes he's gone through,,, him stepping out of the shadows,,,, (shooting stars do burn very bright! some awfully dark shadows there)

17. dipper going to stan and being all "it's a day for family" probably did more to convince stan that bill was being possessed than anything bill ever did

18. stan being proud of dipper for coming back to them and trying to reconnect,,, trying so hard to not think of him when things inevitably explode

19. dipper's whole "i still care about you and stan and everyone" speech to mabel,,, he really does, even if he isn't usually showing it! it's just buried under all of the anger and hurt he feels right now

20. "the invisible twins" i'm telling you: i'm going to end up on national news. they're both invisible,,, mabel just got lucky and has a sheet over her to show people she's still there.

21. once stan has the whole picture, he's going to realize dipper only believed in him because of bill. the twins' roles were switched,,, but neither of them trusted HIM.

1. They did! The consequences will be seen in the novella, actually.

2. His internal clock is messed up, and being awake and in control of his body, he feels very heavy. Spending most of your time out of body or at the very least, floating, will make it feel like that. Any further consequences, yet to be seen.

3. Yeah, basically! He's always "on", always having to worry about everything and everyone around him. With Bill in control, he doesn't have to worry. Someone else can take on the burdens he never asked to bare, and can face consequences for not doing it.

4. Yeah, healing magic isn't really his thing. He supposes he could heal, but he's never learned how. Generally the things Bill has done to others are... beyond healing. He's always healed from his own wounds on his own account, naturally. Because of his species, he's a fast healer, but humans don't work the same way.

4a. Clarifying a point I realized I didn't clarify before: I know Bill says he can't feel pain in his triangle form. However, he is also a lying liar. He has basically become desensitized to it in that form. Aside from his eye, which is permanently sensitive due to... silly straws.

5. :)

6. The Axolotl Section

1. Oh, definitely a sign of how serious he's being. Also a bit of a show of omniscience.

2. He's only ever felt any level of peace with Bill before. The Axolotl has magic peace, which is naturally just More™️. Sort of based on the vague Biblical concept of the peace that passes all understanding. Just pure peace that comes from being in the presence/under influence of a good deity.

3. I wonder? A good question indeed... :)

4. He calls Dipper out subtly and with ✨ love ✨

5. Dipper will stand up against God himself (clearly) to defend Bill. He knows him pretty well at this point, and he knows that he himself wouldn't want therapy, wouldn't do well with it, so he knows Bill wouldn't even more.

7. :) He is in too deep!

8. He's not forcing anything. He won't force anything, because he knows it would be harmful, so he pretends he doesn't understand, and everything is fine. If he keeps doing that, eventually Bill will trust him enough to open up more! That's his goal. He also knows how to get Bill to calm down. :)

9. :)

10. Exactly!

11. With their pact bond, who knows...

12. ‼️‼️

13. He kinda knows he's in too deep to ever go back, but he's in willingly, so he's fine with it.

14. Oh trust me! :)

15. :)

16. :)

17. Dipper likes to act like he's just as omniscient as Bill sometimes, even though he's not. He does know more than he should!

18. I think a lot of things will fall into place for Stan at that point! He's kinda a whump baby for me, though :)

19. Yes! He does still care! He's actually a sweet boy! He's just grappling with a lot and also planning the apocalypse!

20. ✨ Exactly ✨

21. See my previous comment about Stan in question 19 (whump baby) :)

[palfriendpatine66]

20 Question Fic Writer Tag

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

19, soon to be 20! ( three are just little prompt fills/drabbles that I’ve considered removing but also – I want to be able to find them again just in case they ever turn into something more so.)

2.) What's your ao3 word count? 

306, 375

3.) What fandoms do you write for? 

Star Wars. That’s it, and probably all it will ever be (except for my crazy crossover aus). It’s a full time job over here.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

DX:Lovesick (I had a really weird moment when this passed PIP in the kudos count. Like, I love it and was really proud of it, but also: how dare it). Anakin is an accident prone college student who winds up in the care of one very hot Dr. Obi-Wan Kenobi

Pining in Preschool: My first ever fic (started exactly one year ago!) Anakin is trying his best to be a good dad to his twins, and that probably means he shouldn’t be falling for their preschool teacher.

Hide Here Often: This is bottom Obi-Wan smutty one shot

Helicopter Dad: This is a continuation of Pining in Preschool: 4 times that Anakin was a Helicopter parent and one time Obi-Wan beat him to it. I’ve been intending to do a part two with Obi-Wan ever since, but it hasn’t happened yet.

With a Cherry on Top: This is a ridiculous continuation of Pining in Preschool – Obi-Wan and Anakin get in a fight about eating in bed that results in a sex ban until one of them backs down. Spoiler alert: it ends with a sexy food in bed scenario because *of course* if they break they have to prove a point about it

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to always yes. I used to have a 100% track record, and I really wish I was maintaining it. Comments are my lifeblood. I literally cannot tell you how important receiving comments is to me, it’s like, a problem honestly, and so it’s definitely something I want to encourage. I try to always respond to a comment at least as an acknowledgement of “I appreciate you were here and took the time to let me know you liked this”. BUT also I genuinely love engaging about my fics and am more than happy to go on my “Author’s Commentary” spiel at any given moment.

Life’s kind of been shit lately, and I’ve had a hard time if I don’t respond to comments right away as they come in they get lost in my inbox. Also. ADHD.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

OoOoOo Window AU – to be revealed tomorrow. I don’t have the ending for Criminal Minds fully written, but even though it might be a “happy ending” it’s not going to be a happy ending, if you know what I mean. OH BUT if I ever write my post order 66 Obi-Wan on Tatooine vague idea for which the working title is “Obi-Wan Sads”. Yeah. That will probably be the worst.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm. Pining for Preschool probably. It ends on a very high note, although also it’s not really an ending because I continued it into a potentially never ending series that seems to be 90% fluff after the angst I put them through in the original fic.

Also Center Stage (dance au)was a happy ending for sure.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

No, generally all my comments are very positive. There was a weird moment in DX:Lovesick where I wasn’t necessarily getting the hate but Obi-Wan was, and he was getting a lot of it. I wasn’t upset by the comments so much as I was worried that I didn’t write well/clear enough to convey the situation as I thought I was, but I settled on people are going to read their own situations into stories and interpret it differently than intended and that’s okay.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. The Obi-Wan and Anakin kind.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I had a fit of insanity and wrote an Obikin Titanic au.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not. That would be sad

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so no

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope! I think I have too much anxiety to commit to doing this, even with the right people. Put expectations on things and I just…can’t.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

IDK man. Kovu and Kiara from Lion King II: Simba’s Pride

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Right at the time I started writing PiP I started a time travel (?) au that resulted in amnesiac Knight Skywalker as master to padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi right when he rejoins the order after returning from Melida/Daan, instead of rejoining Qui-Gon. I would be shocked if I ever get back to thin, I really jumped the gun and there’s so much of it I don’t have in me, but…there’s still something about it that calls to me.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I always feel super awkward answering this, but I feel pretty good about capturing Obi-Wan and Anakin’s voices, especially their internal voices (if that makes sense) so that they still feel like them in other universes

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh gosh. I am learning as I go. Outlining/having a plan and sticking to it vs. just winging it as I go along. Knowing where paragraphs should start and end – which feels like you should just *know* but I don’t. Descriptions.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Great! But I’m not fluent enough in anything to do it

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars – Hiiiii!

Also, though, the only other stuff I wrote was Star Wars but the year was 2005 and it was for an audience of one (me!). Your Pal was a nerd who carried around a little notebook and wrote down every piece of jedi wisdom and quotes I encountered while I wrote about Obi-Wan and his OC apprentice who was *definitely*not*me* (their name was literally an anagram of my name lol) on their long term undercover mission on Earth, among other things.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

This varies by the mood. I genuinely love Pining in Preschool, and it will always have a really special place in my heart. Dx:Lovesick was a very fun ride, I really and truly enjoyed writing it  and I feel like it holds up. Right now I’m pretty attached to Criminal Minds, for a completely different dynamic and take on obikin.

No pressure tag to @renlyslittlerose and @grapenehifics

[the-zapped-part-timer]

Penn Zerothon Day 5

Brainzburgerz🍔

My Ramblings: Slaughterbots, Slug Soldiers and Rabid Space-Gerbils, oh my! We see two of those worlds later on, Galaxy World and Space World, very creative and different names, I know. But the Space World I believe doesn't make sense, we see how Penn reacts to that world so... eh, we see this wonky continuity from time to time, it's not aggregious.

Nice, Twin Pines reference. I enjoy all the names of the places at the mall:

Book Em

Carbon Footprints (something about shoes)

Ironic Tees

BACONS (something nutrition centers)

Wok Don't Run

Pasta-Away

And I couldn't read the rest

You don't need to be middle-aged to have a clicky knee, Boone. Sashi can use her brutality through being a security guard... not unlike real life!

We're so lucky that they didn't overuse Sashi's specs malfunctioning or breaking, it's ok from time to time. But at least it's not like the wands from the Fairly Oddparent's later seasons.

Montage Time! The first one? No, there's the impressing the princess one, so second! Boone should use his artistic ketchup talent from art class. Beautiful grease figure skating guys.

Boone's Arnold Schwarzeneggerism flares up again. Also, he could really be terrifying if he didn't have his delightfully Boone personality. Just imagine, evil Boone. He'd be more entertaining than Pilot Boone.

Oh no, not Samuelson!

Love Penn's 'tudeness in these moments, he's so over killing time.

Penn and Boone trembling like chihuahuas from zombie Samuelson, I feel you two, that's what I felt like when working and someone asks me where something I never heard of is.

Took Penn awhile for it to hit that, yes, that's how Boone screams. He's been screaming like that for quite a bit.

I don't think it's ethical to keep those howler monkeys in such small containers like that or sell them at all!

I love how Penn says: "Boone, there's no reason for you to be doing that." The fear in his voice.

WILHELM! So many reused zombies, it's ok, I don't mind.

That is indeed the worst idea you've had, Penn. I see what you were going for but damn... pretty bad. Zombie sailor just had the need to untie knots before anything else.

Surprised that Rippen has such good aim.

I'm so so very happy that Boone eating didn't become a main and continuous joke unlike the Pilot. He can be a bigger character and like to eat, that's fine! But if that's the main joke the show makes of him, that's bad. Like, that's all the Pilot mostly had for him. Anyways, stressing eating is valid but don't eat burgers off the street my guy. That's how you get zombied.

I want that special toy button.

Sashi there was literally no reason for you to do that! Just keep your mouths shut and out of the way! Grab them or kick them out of the air! SAAASHIIIII! Penn literally did that and used a flare gun!

Zombie dolphin... untapped potential for the zombie movie market.

I believe Sashi, Boone and Larry are the powerhouses of both teams. Sorry Penn and Rippen. Like, Penn, I get but Rippen? Sorry, big guy, you may be ripped as hell but I don't know if you know how to use your strength properly. Seriously, I always think about this scene and two other scenes I'll bring up in those episodes, but Larry is really strong, he took down Rippen so fast and easily! Yes, he did have the element of surprise, but still!

Also, I assume that first burger didn't work because of the wrapper, right? So Larry somehow still infected Rippen? My guy, really? You are twice his size and I'd like to think your kinda strong... drown him! No, I'm kidding, don't do that. Larry will drown you first.

Can just casually go to the moon, you know how the army can just do that. Glad thay fries are used as the cure, fries are so good.

The voice acting for Penn is so great in this episode! He's good in all of them, but this one just sticks out to me for some reason. Like with the hair tussling and french frie grease? Perfect.

You know what would be interesting and a little sad? What if the guy Boone zapped into actually has some sort of memory loss like dementia or anterograde amnesia? Probably not, I'm just not a huge fan of Boone being that dumb is all. We know he's a genius.

And what a way to end the episode, a zombified Rippen and Larry, holding on closely as they ride a zombified dolphin into the beautiful sunrise across the sparkling sea. Such beauty, such wonder...

~The Characters~

Penn Zero: He's just a little minimum wage paid guy! Look at him! He's trying his best!

Boone Wiseman: Luckily, he wasn't an acting manager for too long ir else we would've seen a whole different can of worms.

Sashi Kobayashi: Too OP, had to be zombified half way. I wonder how much they nerf Sashi's strength, guess I'll just keep an eye out.

Rippen: I wonder if he was zapped right before and caused the apocalypse or during it? Probably caused it, let him have something.

Larry: A powerful foe to be rivaled with. Fear his strength!

Dimension(s): I have a bit of a soft spot for zombie apocalyptic cities, so this works for me. Of course, needed ounces of green hue everywhere to really sell it. They make it interesting as to how the apocalypse started, zombie burgers, not that wacky of a concept considering all those schlocky zombie movies, which they've referenced.

Forms: All pretty simple, two fast-food employees and a security guard. All pretty well suited, I've noticed a lot of people like Penn's design, which, understandable. Rippen's design? He ate. Larry's hair... scares me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuckle City🤡

My Ramblings: Ah yes, the first appearance of Lazlo Matavaqua. I want to meet this juggling man! Boone was ready to just whip that magazine out for anyone to see. How he says it too, so confident and matter-of-factly.

By the way, Sashi zaps into a very mustached clown guy with blue and green hair and than becomes Sashi with pink crazy braids... what? Sashi zapping into a clown guy isn't the point, it's the fact that we see them zap into others before and mainly their faces and bodys change, but not to this extent. This is something else! Let Sashi have a mustache! Goodness. Just something that's bugged me, Penn has the same colored and texture hair (helps that he already has clown hair).

Clown cops, like real life but actually enjoyable to watch! So, would it ACCAB? All Clown Cops Are Bastards? ACAB in a clown world is hilarious.

Boone's police commissioner voice is so good, I wish he used that voice more. Almost didn't sound like him!

I'd hate this world too, Sashi. Whoopee cushions or farts drive me insane, but it's sometimes funny here.

THEIR NAMES ARE FARPLING AND FLAILY!

Dangling fool! Rippen fits almost too perfectly here... hmmmm. Something I admire about him is that he takes himself and the mission very seriously, yet doesn't just constantly complain and bashing about a world's logic or anything! He just roles with it and embraces it even. I'm sure he was like that at the beginning of his villainy but learned to just go with the flow of things. He's a clown? He's gonna be the clowniset bastard around! An adorable little mayor? Sticking with it! A cat!? HE WILL PISS IN A LITTER BOX!

Anyways, Rippen's wearing striped tights under his spotted boxers... that's it. Something funny I noticed. He has such a witchy, clowny laugh. Now he's got goons! He's moving up in the world!

Very good clown car chase scene, demonstrating both Penn's strengths and Sashi's weaknesses.

Why did the clowns have a Whoopee Wars? What were they fighting about? Oh god... so many implications you can put in there. The giant whoopee cushion is just a clown version of a bomb...

BLBLBLBLBLBL!!! Your such a clown, Rippen. Also his voice sound a bit different right before Larry pulls out the feather, maybe nasally?

Oh no... the cursed image of Rippen's mouth full of cock, like the rooster, I meant. Guys!? LIKE THE ROOSTER! They had to know what they were doing! Larry's face whilst he holds it in his mouth... no thoughts, head empty. And then having Rippen blow a big, long ballon for a split second!? COME ON!

Good sad clowning, Penn! Ashame that no one was a mime. Not just miming, an actual black and white mime.

I'd like to know Henry's deal. Also, is Mitch the Monkey, like, okay? Mitch, blink twice if you need help! Right, Sodajerk. He's got some very good advice for clowns or comedians out there! Gotta be able to laugh at yourself to be tough. Wish we could see more of Sodajerk and Sash, we do see him in Chuckle City 500, but it's brief.

Hehe, let it rip. Get it? Rippen? Rip? You get it. Also god damn that wedgie looks painful! Believe me, being wedgied by a tree branch really hurts and is very embarrassing. Right... they got him, HE'S DEAD!

~The Characters~

Penn Zero: Just a silly little goofy guy. He's the best at clowning around! They should have an out-goof-off between him and Rippen.

Boone Wiseman: Certified DID, a damsel in distress... or I guess a CIC? Clown in clutch or clutches?

Sashi Kobayashi: This is a pretty good Sashi episode. We finally begin to see her struggles, in this world being not silly enough, she's tough and serious, not her thang. It's interesting to see since so far, she's been a guiding voice for the guy's faults and now it's her turn. But with the help of a random clown, who I do like. Penn did try to help. It was a little too quick for her turnaround but hey, these episodes gotta keep going. Just wish she got a little more time to hone in her silly craft. She's good at it.

Rippen: This is his home now, he's meant to be here. To be free and silly!

Larry: He's still thinking about the rubber chicken, I bet. Funny how that will come back to him later on.

Dimension(s): I can think about is Killer Klowns from Outer Space and Clown Husbandry on Tumblr....what breeds do you think each are? Rippen is definitely an evil clown of sorts, Boone literally calls him one.

Besides that, interesting world, love me some clown stuff! But ACCAB!

Forms: All fun! Sashi's hair is fun, Penn's hair is perfect and Boone's giant bowtie is excellent!

Rippen and Larry on the other hand? Rippen is very much inspired by the Joker while Larry is definitely Tim Curry's IT. I adore that, just as much as I adore Rippen's pink eyes and dead flower.

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🤤- October 2023 - Leo

Singles:

Overall energy: The Fool

How you will meet: 10 Swords

How they will treat you: The Star

Long-term Potential: 7 Cups

Oracle: Pick one thing beyond your control and let it go. Just like that.

PHOENIX 🔥

- New Phase & Rekindle

- Renew & Growth

- Changed Mind

- Rise From Ashes

I doubt many people will resonate with this, but it’s for someone that’s mentally distraught. You’ve ended a very powerful connection (well, they did), and you’re just waiting on this person. What are they doing? Why did they leave? When are they coming back? It may have been quite some time already, with Wheel of Fortune & 7 Pentacles showing up here. This is a relationship that’s over, done with, 10 Swords & Death. It could’ve been very painful, probably had some level of betrayal involved. The Devil can show something toxic between you, or it’s just showing that waiting on this person, thinking of them, obsessing over this or this fixation you have with them is toxic to you. It can feel like a bond that can’t just be broken, how could they just leave and transform into some completely different person?!?

Because they did. They’re healing, happy, optimistic, they have positive feelings about leaving this connection behind, and from what I’m getting, it’s exactly what they needed to do. This can be a Twin Flame, or you feel it is destined anyway, and on some level it’s definitely something. Karmic, past life, idk what but it’s something. You could be aware of the whole Twin dynamic and it’s actually causing you to be the roadblock in your own way. Pining for this person won’t bring them back. The Fool is what you have to do. Letting go. Moving on, transforming yourself 💯 They already have, and wouldn’t change a thing, because their soul purpose is down whatever path they’re heading down currently. It’s your turn.

LONG term potential: still the same. Confusion, fantasies, feeling unsure of what they want, do they want you, do they miss you, do they think of you? You could be passing up opportunities because you’re under the impression this person could come back. They’re not. The messages show massive differences between you, your values, your personalities. The oracles show this being out of your hands. You were meant to meet. Meant to have whatever you had. And now…you’re leaving whatever you’re meant to find next waiting around, because you haven’t let go of this yet. Sending you lots of healing hugs 🤗

Messages -

Their side:

- I just don’t know what to say.

- You are TOO MUCH for me.

Your side:

- My friends are more important than you.

- I can’t/don’t want to have children.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aquarius, Pisces, Sagittarius, Scorpio & Capricorn

Couples:

Overall energy: Ace of Wands

Current: 8 Pentacles

Challenge: Page of Cups rev

How they feel about you: The Devil rev & The Sun

How you feel about them: King of Cups

Outcome: 6 Wands

Your person is having an intense month, and you’re along for the ride. Either they’re overcoming an actual addiction, or they’re finally being freed from some difficult thing that’s dominated their entire life for some time. The Devil is here reversed, Addiction is here, even 8 Swords is here reversed. Those were all upright at some point, this person was trapped in a prison…that could be literal for someone.

For most it’s their work, something they’ve put a lot of time and effort into, your person will get to the point they just can’t take it anymore. They can’t afford it, or can’t keep up with something. You miss them! They could never be around, always having to fix some issue or come to the job’s rescue and you’re over here like once upon a time…I had a person, right next to me. The challenge is some immature communication & behavior, acting out, probably fighting with each other. Because you’re sad and letting that be known. This person is actually going to do something about it though, I’m getting they’re fed up.

You two come up as the Cups pair, deeply in love, the connection itself is quite beautiful. Your person is going to overcome whatever issue has been in the way, whatever dominates all of their time and keeps them away from you. It will feel like a whole new life for you both, it’s “freeing”, very positive and exciting even, being done with these restrictive chains. You’re quietly supportive, loving, willing to help however you can, you appreciate your person and all that they’re trying to do for you, with you. You miss them and they miss you too! You could act out and they’re over here like “wait, you don’t want this either? FK IT, I’m done.” Throwing in the towel, can’t wait to stop doing whatever this is. Outcome for mid Nov is success, rising above this burdensome bs. Have faith in your person, whatever they’re stopping or releasing is going to make you both very happy 😊 For someone, it could be a literal addiction of some kind.

Messages -

Their side:

- I imagine us together forever 💕

- Don’t underestimate my potential.

Your side:

- Looks great but…NOT so much 💯

- Romantic 🥰

Oracles - Fresh out of fucks, embracing inner peace ☮️

Their side:

ADDICTION 🍺

- Codependent

- Obsession & Restraint

- Possession & Control

- Emotional Block

Your side:

PICTURE 📸

- Looking at Pictures

- Missing You

- Nostalgia

- Make New Memories

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Leo, Gemini & Virgo

[cabeswaterdrowned]

went through your karen tag recently and omg how does it feel to have the most correct takes. i genuinely don't understand people who claim to like karen but then also want her to have ended up with gr*h*m. like he sucks so bad and personally i got the impression that they toned it down in the show but in the book the way he acts about her abortion is absolutely disgusting like. just throw out the whole man at this point. "she'll realise she wants to be a mother" fuck off and die.

thank youu for appreciating my takes 😌Yeah I do think his character is generally flattened/not as fleshed out in the show compared to the book also you don’t get monologues from every character in the show like you do in the book his internal monologue at points is like so… yikes.. to me. Literally positions himself as a victim for Karen not reciprocating his love for her and not wanting the life he wants for them, the whole bitter “women always seem to come out on top (unlike poor disenfranchised beta males like me)” thing like it was giving meninist energy at times. And then like you said everything about his reaction to her abortion is just awful and you read in the book how awful it made Karen feel and the dehumanizing element of how he ended up viewing her.. like I honestly don’t get why people downplay how bad it was whether in their minds or when talking about the ship. Especially since tjr has her flaws in terms of feminism and so does djats, but I do actually think their storyline was meant to showcase a more realistic/dangerous side to a type of romance you see portrayed a lot with a self-possessed woman who wants to be non-monongomous and free and not marry or have children, and a guy who is like a white Knight to her and convinces her she actually wants those things/needs to change to his idea of womanhood. I’m glad this story never went there and took the “love conquers all” approach, and that it was shown as something that would inevitably implode. (Which is why I find it very hilarious that there are people who read the book and go “the moral of the story is that because Daisy and Billy are framed as not being able to work as a functional relationship rn / are as dysfunctional and messy as they are they should not be shipped romantically” and then go “Karen and Graham are so wholesome and perfect wish they got their happy ending :(((“ like those are both flawed relationships where love that was there (from Graham to Karen which she did not reciprocate in the book, between Billy and Daisy who both explicitly admit that they were in love with each other reiterating both those points because some takes I’ve seen um,,) didn’t out way problems that were there. You can ship it or not based on what’s compelling to you (for me toxic twin flames mutually pining and sublimating through their art >>>> whatever that is any day of the week). 

I also don’t really understand how people can love Karen and love them and definitely not how they can want the ship to be her endgame… I’m not going to say something as extreme as that they can’r genuinely like her while liking it, I mean I ship my favs with trash men all the time and I tend to have my reasons that I’m cognizant of for why the dynamic appeals to me. But these people definitely enjoy her character in a very different way than I do / have very different priorities than mine regarding her and I do find myself side eyeing more than a little bit. Nice guy pursuer ships tend to attract the most insufferable people to go hard for them (show! Eddie x Camila is another example of this, and I think there’s a similar tendency to be over sympathetic to Graham and show! Eddie for not getting to *win*. Which on it’s own annoying, but especially if I’m seeing someone express that this is how they feel but then call Daisy pathetic for her feelings for Billy I am BITING. Especially because, pathetic how??? Billy is obsessed with her 😭) 

I can’t bring myself to be particularly upset that Graham’s *feelings* were given less air time in the show than in the book, regardless of effects on the story or losing certain scenes. I think the specific line they had him say in the show (literally telling her she will be alone forever because she doesn’t want to have kids / have the type of white picket fence life he wants fuck off!) struck a lot of people as more obviously terrible than his response in the book but like… his response - and his whole mentality around it - in the book is terrible! I think some of the various crit about the show making certain characters worse is because the chars in the show aren’t able to justify/narrativize their actions and motivations and everything to the audience in the same way, and that effecting how people perceive them, more than the characters actually acting/being worse than they’re written to be in the book and this is an example to me, and I kind of judge people a little for having so much sympathy for Graham in the book or show (like your favs are your favs, but I’ve yet to see someone who loves his character be appropriately critical of him not saying they don’t exist I just haven’t seen it. and those types of fans are rarer for chars in his archetypes, you see more of people wanting to call them pure and unproblematic cinnamon rolls. And like I said same goes for how people tend to perceive him and Karen as the “unproblematic couple”). 

[dimepdf]

Jonathan Byers x amab reader Harrington? Maybe Steve has a twin brother who comes home from another state and sees Jonathan in the school one day and finds him attractive? So he starts hanging out with him more, and they get really close, way too close even, and they start going out in private, and then one day Jonathan just rails him in his car?

WORTH YOU. + JONATHAN BYERS

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. you'd spent a lot of time with Jonathan, and before you knew it, your feelings for him had surfaced. you tried to hide the uneasy feeling that surrounded you whenever you two hung out alone. author's note. the kissing scene is inspired by my favorite book “Perks of being a Wallflower”. I was literally reading it before writing it and went….wait. also sorry that its kinda long i got so into the show that i'm watching and just mashed together ideas.

[ ❥ ] pairing. jonathan byers x reader

[ ❥ ] word count. 7.4k

[ ❥ ] genre & warnings. 18+, male reader, twin reader, black sheep, top!jonathan, bottom!reader, heavy angst at the start, mentions of mental illness, outcasts, internalized homophobia, messy confessions, pining, first kiss, first time, not show canon cause idc, oral (m), jonathan giving that gawk gawk 9000, kind of discrete sex, fuckin in a car, fingering, unprotected sex, biting, grammaly is my beta reader sorry for the mistakes

You never considered Hawkins, Indiana to be a fucked up place; moreover, you just thought the town was pretty washed up, lacking adventure and difference. 

It seemed like there would always be people in your business, no matter the situation at hand, always judging you for some gossip that had slipped from your personal life. 

That had been the main reason you had to move away for almost an entire year, resting in the guest room of your grandparent's barn house across the states. 

Your father made up his mind that sending you away to live with your grandparents would be better than you continuing to stay with them and being rumored to be a "tainted" child in the Harrington family. You weren't tainted, or at least you didn't believe you were.

You found yourself to just be mentally ill in terms of your lack of happiness declining all because of your parent's lack of affection growing up.

Another trait that you had gained during your very confusing journey of rocky puberty was the weird gut feeling you would get for the other boys in your class. You knew it was odd to see boys the same way your brother would see girls. 

So you suppressed the feelings all the way until you wouldn't feel anything. But of course, people in Hawkins would talk. 

They would talk until it would lead to the solitude of your home, the one place that you had thought to feel safe. But that was a lie as long as your father lived there. 

People took notice of the way you would hang back, how you would rather be alone in your head instead of being a social butterfly like your other half, Steve. 

People could purely take you apart just from one glance. Steve cares a lot about his self-image as well as the public opinion of perfection screwed into his perfect little brain. 

You, on the other hand, were more carefree, wearing clothes that just felt comfortable and speaking in the same flat tone to everyone only whenever you had something to say. 

You truly were the Harrington family black sheep, which didn't fit your family's perfect image, so your father did what any parent would do with their mentally ill child in the 80s: send you away to be someone else's problem. 

That someone else being your kind and caring grandparents out in the sticks, their farm becoming your home for a nice handful of years, all the way until your grandparents decided that they couldn't financially care for you anymore. 

You didn't blame them as they sent you back home to Hawkins, having already returned to the years of grown trauma. You were less than happy to be back home. 

Along with seeing how much your twin brother had changed dramatically appearance-wise. Steve having gotten more toned from being on the basketball team. 

You were visibly more scrawny, your hair longer just chin-length, not even enough care to trim it, along with your lack of pale skin from spending most of your time on the farm outside with the animals.

Steve just seemed like the more sheltered version of you, like everything that could have gone right. 

You tried blending in with everyone; you tried. It seemed like people would instantly recognize you from middle school.

The rumored "other brother." eyes would be on you everywhere the moment you stepped foot through the Hawkins school hallways with your head held high and music blaring from your headphones. 

You were the mystery child that everyone wanted to know. You rejected the social cue, stomped on it, and kicked it out of your way. You didn't care for the social cliches or the weird "king Steve" title your brother had earned from being Mr. Popular.

Unknowingly, you had tipped the scale that had held your high school from tumbling apart. You were off the hinges, not following any of the "rules" that Steve passed on as advice. You saw it all as just silly things that silly people follow. 

Which was why you had taken a liking towards Jonathan Byers. 

You hadn't known the boy earlier in your childhood, not really recognizing him as any of the kids that you would play with down the street until you realized that when you were younger, your parents practically handpicked the children that you were allowed to be friends with. 

You guessed that was the main reason you attached to Jonathan so quickly; his outcast and shy demeanor just clicked with your personality. 

You just being polar opposites, him just wanting to keep his head down, although out of high school, you just wanted to stand up for yourself and have fun. 

The more you hung with the dark brunette, the more you realized how angry Steve would become with you, almost throwing a tantrum, seeing you sneak out only to find the Byers boy waiting in your driveway waiting to pick you up.

You didn't understand why Steve had been so pissed about Jonathan, not really caring much to listen to the whole thing with his new fling, Nancy Wheeler.

You chose to stay out of any relationships he had in hopes that he would catch the idea and follow suit.

It seemed like you had spent a lot of your time hanging out with Jonathan. If you weren't at school, you were at his place, and if you weren't at his place, you were chilling behind the counter keeping him company at his part-time job.

You two had become attached at the hip, spending so much time together that even Joyce would be surprised if she hadn’t bumped into you during the afternoons that she had been returning home from her job.

And before you know it, something clicks. Your suppressed emotions are now finally coming to the surface like a shaken can of soda.

When you realized that the feelings you had towards Jonathan were more than just wanting to be friends, you found yourself thinking of more. 

You were degrading yourself by thinking of your best friend in such inappropriate ways. But you were good at pretending, masking the uncomfortable feeling that shook around you every time you two would hang out alone. 

Jonathan had to pretend like he hadn't noticed, pretend like he didn't notice you slipping away from him. Getting into a heated argument with Steve, your own brother, calls you a freak. 

The one person that you had grown up with being the number one reason you felt so out of place in the world, you had to run to the only person that you knew would listen. 

Jonathan woke at you climbing through his widow the moon outlining your stumbling figure as you asked him if he wanted to go somewhere to talk with tears brimming your eyes.

Jonathan tiredly agrees to drive you to the Quarry. There you two sat on the hood of his car and just talked. You vented until you couldn't anymore, telling Jonathan how out of sorts you felt with your family falling into shambles. It was nice to get things off your chest. 

A peaceful moment of silence falls between you two. You can hear the sound of your heart lightly thumping against your chest just as you were about to call it a night. Before you know it, you turn your head and kiss the boy next to you. 

You kiss Jonathan Byers, not on the cheek, not a peck, but a full-on kiss on the mouth. 

A real kiss. The full-fledged kiss happens so quickly that Jonathan sort of freezes, his hands resting along your arm as he just lets your mouth attack. 

His not being able to process that your lips were moving against his mouth, the kiss doesn't last that long. You lean away and just sort of sit there, processing what the hell just happened. 

"I’m sorry." Your voice whispers as you look past Jonathan, your eyes unfocused as you try to make sense of all the sudden emotions washing over you. 

"No, that's okay." Jonathan replies, his tone laced with sincerity. 

"Really, Jonathan, I’m so sorry."  

"No, really. It's okay Y/N." There was another beat of silence as you two just took it all in. You could feel your chest rising with every deep breath you took. 

You hated it.

You hated feeling everything all at once. You didn't know what to do. You just wanted it all to stop. Before you know it, Jonathan is pulling you into a hug. 

It's not a crappy side hug thing that you give your relatives when you're visiting them during the holidays; it's a real hug, one that feels like he was single-handedly trying to pull you down from that gray thundering cloud you had mounted yourself on.

When you pull away from the hug, Jothan doesn't say anything. You both don't speak much after following his lead as he ducks back into the car and starts the engine, his headlights beaming awake as Jonathan halts once more, his hands hovering over his steering wheel. 

Before you could ask what's wrong, he moves in to kiss you again. 

And you just let him. You don't know why it felt so good or why he had done it. 

You don't do much but kiss for a while, at least until your lips feel like they are starting to swell.

It seemed like Jonathan had got the same idea. He pulled away with a sort of dazed look, shaking his head before returning his attention back to the wheel. 

He drives in comforting silence, your head resting against the glass of the window as your fingers grace the skin of your lips, almost like you could still detect traces of him left on them.

When Jonathan pulls into your driveway, reality hits you like thrown bricks. You don't know what to say to him, so you don't say anything. You just unbuckle your seatbelt and exit his car without saying a word.

That night you sleep staring out your window, looking at the stars as you place a pillow over your head, muffling out the bed springs from Steve’s room. You fall asleep thinking about Jonathan and how he kissed you. 

You don't say much to anyone during the morning, spending most of your day just focusing on your school work as the school day passes in the blink of an eye. 

The only hard part was ignoring Jonathan during the lunch period you had together. Your stomach was turning and you had met eyes from across the cafeteria.

You spin on your heels and dunk your tray of untouched food into the trash, deciding to spend your lunch period in a back hallway with music blaring through your headphones, waiting for the hour to pass. 

That was how you spent the rest of the day, hiding. It wasn't until the moon was up that you found your fingers ghosting over your lips, thinking about the kiss again.

You don't know what changed in your mind, but you decided that at that moment you needed to see Jonathan again, so you rushed down your stairs and passed the group of people that Steve had invited over.

Getting the old bike you haven't ridden since middle school out of the garage and onto the road, you biked the way to the main road that led to Jonathan's house. 

Your lungs felt like they were going to burst at every pedal, leaving you breathless as you just realized you were in your pajamas and socks pedaling fast enough to keep you warm from the nipping late spring weather. 

Finally, skidding into Jonathan's driveway, tossing the bike into the grass.

You don’t really have a plan on what to do once you have gotten to the porch of the home. 

Your mind is racing as you sort of just scratch the back of your neck before turning around and tiptoeing to the side of the house. 

You approached Jonathan's bedroom window, tapping slowly on the glass with your knuckle, flinching as the curtains parted. Jonathan glances down at you with a surprised look on his face. He was shirtless.

That was the second thing you noticed. You now knew that Jonathan had slept shirtless, along with the trail of hair that ran down his chest. You were gawking at him, eyeing him like meat. 

You don't say anything as he yanks open his window. You can't keep your eyes away from his chest, "Y/N? Dude, do you know what time it is?" 

"I'm sorry." You've got to stop apologizing. You need to learn other words than those two phrases, but it's all you can think of when Jonathan stands shirtless in front of you. 

Your eyes glisten in their wide state, Jonathan gesturing for you to come in as you struggle to climb inside through the window. 

His house is silent. You tumble onto the ground, falling flat on your ass when Jonathan sighs, leaning over you to close his curtains.

 "I'm sorry." You apologize again, standing up when Jonathan glances at you. As you take a step forward, your legs move on their own, closing the gap between you and him and pressing another kiss onto his lips.

Your fingers tangle in his hair as you try to ground yourself to anything. When his hands trail around your waist, grabbing you closer to him as his head tilts to the side, deepening the kiss. 

Jonathan is the first to pull away for the kiss. His brow resting on yours, his breath fanning against the skin of your cheek.

"Stop apologizing all the time." was all that he had said before kissing you again. 

With him taking the lead, you were starting to feel light-headed just like how you felt the day you had kissed him on the hood of his car. 

The neediness in the way he had wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him like he was afraid you would slip away again.

Your heart is hammering against your chest, feeling his tongue glide into your mouth. 

A moan coaxes from your throat as your hand rests against the broad middle of his chest.

The feeling of his cool skin against yours almost sent you into an orbit. Let him guide you backward until you sit against his bed.

"My mom’s in the living room, but Will’s sleeping in the other room, so we can't be loud," Jonathan whispered just inches away from your mouth. You didn't dare to speak, only nodding your head in acknowledgment, your eyes glued onto his mouth as you had craved them.

It was strange feeling so suddenly needy for him, so open with your emotions.

Jonathan smiles, almost like he had known that power he had over you, pushing you down to lie with your back against his mattress, kissing a trail down your neck before crawling on top of you. 

His hands adventuring alongside the exposed part of your shirt, getting rid of the cotton shirt as you both make quick work of your pants. 

Removing each other's clothes at a very frantic pace, you were both horny teenagers undressing each other for the first time, hands lingering against hot skin and lips swollen from kissing. 

You don't know how to feel when Jonathan slides his hands down your body, your hips twitching off of the mattress. 

Feeling his wet lips softly drag along the skin just below your belly button, eyeing your boxers as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. 

It was truly a sight to behold watching Jonathan eye the outline of your growing erection, staring at it like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

"Do you want to?" He asked, glancing up at you through his lashes. You swore you had just remembered how to breathe. 

How to open your mouth and exhale normally, while watching yourself twitch just from the question.

You knew Jonathan felt it too; his eyes pointed down at your groin. He glances at your throbbing issues before returning his attention to you.

"P—please." You were too preoccupied with the growing need you felt in the pit of your stomach to take notice of how needy your voice sounded. 

You were desperate for his touch, as you felt dizzy watching Jonathan’s fingers duck under the elastic of your underwear. Your hips arched in response to his cold fingers against your hot length.

You know you have to be quiet, your arm slung over your mouth to muffle the lewd noises that have leaked from it. Your eyes close as your hips move independently, thrusting into his touch.

Jonathan begins to stroke your cock at an almost slow and agonizing pace, cursing under your breath as precum spilled from your tip and coated his hand. 

The sounds of your labored breathing and his fingers slickly jerking off your girth ripple outward throughout the dark bedroom. 

You couldn’t even look at him without feeling dizzy. The brunette averted his gaze shyly, his face flushed pink as his mouth parted.

"It makes me feel…weird when you watch." What the fuck, what the fuck? Your mind was an orbit of howling, intense hormones.

You were almost convinced you had died and this was your heaven, getting a handjob from the most adorable guy that you had laid your eyes on. 

With no one around to see the sinful act that was unfolding, something about how flushed Jonathan looked with him holding your cock made you feel so...discombobulated. 

Jonathan just focused on making quick work with his hands, feeling you finally relax against the mattress, your legs hanging off of the edge as he sat on top of your thighs. 

The weight was driving your body insane. It hadn’t helped when Jonathan surged forward. His guiding your tip passed through his lips and sat flat against his tongue, rushing all the blood to your dick.

"H–holy fuck." You stifled a grunt, your hips bucking against his mouth, his hands resting down on your hips to stop you from fidgeting. 

"Be quiet." Jonathan chuckled like your dick wasn’t in his mouth at the moment, the brunette wrapping his lips over the hilt of your cock.

His tongue poked out of his mouth, inexperienced on how to take your entire length inside without gagging. 

You never expected getting sucked off to feel so…good. 

Sure, you masturbated like any other old teenager your age, but it was always just you and your hand going at it to the poster on your wall of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his bare muscular chest as the Terminator. 

You have the poster taped up just above your headboard along with a row of other movies that you considered to be the pinnacle of film history.

 It was a nice cover-up from your family, having posters of male eye candy in the room for other pleasures. 

You watched as his lips, glistening spit-covered lips, took you into his mouth deeper, allowing more of your length in his mouth until his nose tickled the bush of your pubic hair. 

The feeling of his tongue swirling around the trace of your vein threatened your stability; the feeling of hitting the back of his throat made your toes curl against the carpet and your head leans back.

The sound of his little gag makes you want to live there, having your dick down his throat for the rest of your life. 

Your thighs twitched under him, feeling Jonathan grab your balls with his other hand. 

He twisted his fingers, unsure what to do with them, before simply fondling them in his hands. It was enough for you, more than enough. Honestly, you have never felt so turned on in your life.

His head bobbing up and down your cock, you didn't know how long you went last at the sight of his puffed-out cheeks and wet lips, just drinking in the sight as time went on, not wanting the moment to end from the overwhelming experience.

Your fingers were threading through his tough, short brunette hair, trying to ground yourself onto anything that you could reach, feeling the heat from your building orgasm creep towards your boiling point. 

You haven’t been so turned on in your entire life. The pleasure of having your dick sucked for the first time almost tortures you. 

You wondered if Jonathan had felt the same way, wondering if he too was hard under his briefs. 

So turned on from sucking your dick that there would be a dark stain of precum along with the material of his underwear. 

You weren't able to tell, but the thought alone did something to you, your fingers digging into his scalp, fisting around his hair tighter.

"F—fuck." you whimpered pathetically, Jonathan’s mouth parting from your cock with a string of spit connected to his mouth, your chest caving at the sudden loss of warmth. 

"If you’re gonna…do it. Can you do it in my m—mouth?" You could only nod at the lewd request, your body settling once he had engulfed your cock once more, assuming that he just didn't get cum stains all over his bedsheets as he sucked at the head of your tip.

Your teeth sink into your arm to stop yourself from moaning at the top of your lungs as you cum down his throat. 

Jonathan manages to swallow everything the second it hits his tongue. you were impressed and, honestly, just more turned on. 

Wiping the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand. You sat up, realizing that he had been straddling the entire time. 

Your hands were reaching for his hips, and you hesitated before deciding to lean in to kiss him. 

"Jonathan?" It was a record-breaking time how fast Jonathan had shot up from your lap, crawling under his blankets as you leaned down to throw yourself to the floor, tumbling under his bed the moment your face had hit the carpet. 

The door just opened minutes later as you watched the dim light from the hallway leak into the bedroom, only being able to see Joyce’s shoes as she stood stock still at the doorway. 

Jonathan’s soft breathing coaxes his mother into believing that the boy is truly asleep. humming to herself before shutting the bedroom door, making you exhale a held breath.

 As quickly as the door shut you and Jonathan had snuck out of the bedroom window, your feet pattering against the dirt as you run for your bike. 

Your head turned towards the house, afraid that Joyce would catch you sneaking out of her home at an unruly hour. 

Though your worries were settled, you got to the main road and back to your home in one piece. 

You'd think you’d be able to cut the kid some slack after giving you the most jaw-dropping, sheet-clenching head that you’ve ever experienced in life, but nope. 

It seemed like after the blowjob accident, you were becoming even more distant with Jonathan, continually dodging him in the halls and skipping lunch for a full week.

You didn't know how long you could keep the streak going, biking to and from school every day as an amazing form of exercise, but Hawkin's weather was unpredictable.

Like today, the mornings were high and dry, the sun beaming out enough that you swore you would melt the moment you had stepped foot outside, and then the gray clouds tumbled in, rain soaking your entire outfit as you hurled your bike up the road.

Huffing as your chain had popped the moment you had barreled over a deep puddle that had sent you flying from your bike. The injuries were minor, but your ego had taken a hit. 

And it was like your day was planned to get worse. Jonathan spotted you stranded on the side of the road. 

Just the sight of his car pulling in next to you made your blood run even colder than the freezing temperature it already was from your clothes being soaked.

You prayed that your face masked the obvious uncomfortableness you felt as your clothes stuck tightly against your skin, a shiver running down your spine as you watched Jonathan’s eyes trace down your figure. 

"You wanna ride?" He smirked, his tone hinting at a playful reference to something more sexual. 

You popped the trunk of his car, stuffing your bike into his trunk and sliding into the passenger's side, your face flushed as you buckled in. 

The car ride continued in uncomfortable silence. Every time Jonathan would gesture, his mouth would open just to close, not really knowing how to break the ice. 

A handful of minutes passed before you realized Jonathan was driving in the total opposite direction of your home. Turning into the woods, you recognized the road instantly. He was driving to the quarry. 

The moment he had shifted the car into park, Jonathan gripped the wheel with both hands, his head leaning down, a low grunt erupting suddenly as you grimaced from the cold.

Your head turning, you noticed his head tilted, his gaze fixed on you.

"What?" you asked, your tone flat.

Jonathan smirked, not hiding the fact that he was gawking at your mouth. Maybe it was because your face had flushed, making you look so fucking…attractive to him. 

"Huh?" he hummed, making a scene of tearing his eyes from the trance your mouth had seemed to put him in. 

"You're staring." He didn't even seem to bother with an apology like he wanted you to know that he wanted to kiss you.

"I know, I can't help it." His hands reach out to comb through your wet hair, letting his fingers scrape through your scalp, involuntarily leaning farther into his touch. 

It was the type of touch that made you realize how much of an asshole you were for ignoring the only person that seemed to care about your well-being in this shit town, the only person that you were too scared to care about. 

The last couple of days, you felt empty, following some pointless routine, turning corners and taking the longer route just to avoid the obvious feelings you had for the boy.

You missed listening to his confusing music talk about bands that you didn't even know existed till then, or the small "concerts" of songs you would play air guitar to as Jonathan belted in his pitchy voice to Will as you drove the younger Byers kid to school. 

If your feelings were obvious to you, it didn't take rocket science to know that Jonatan knew that you liked him. 

Even when your dick was in his mouth, you were afraid that it was all just some stupid prank, like he was going to pull away at any moment and degrade you for having such feelings for another male.

You just wanted to go back in time and stay, stay in the infinite where you could just be together with Jonathan without all the emotional stuff involved.

You just wanted to be able to kiss him whenever you wanted, do the things you would see Steve do to the hopelessly romantic girls that had fallen for his suave charm. You wanted to be with Jonathan like Steve was with Nancy.

It was like Jonathan had known you were thinking too hard about something, tugging at the collar of your shirt and suddenly leaning you in closer to him.

Your lips parted by reflex as he locked eyes with you, his head slightly tilting like he was waiting for you to run away, waiting for any sign of hesitation.

You couldn't handle it anymore. Your heart was not built strong enough to handle the chase. You decided to make the first move, surging forward and finally breaking the distance between you two. 

You never knew Jonathan could be so touchy. The feeling of his fingers combing through your hair and settling a fist into the nape of your neck. The feeling of his palm gliding against your cheek like his fingers were guiding your face into his lips.

It all just felt so good, deepening the kiss, feeling the wet front of your shirt press against his more dry, warm chest. 

A low moan vibrated against your mouth as your tongue slid into his mouth.

As if you couldn't be any more turned on, the feeling of his hand wrapping around your neck made your adam's apple bob against his grasp.

You thought it was insane how quickly your body went from freezing cold to smoothing hot in minutes, how quickly Jonathan could turn you into a human heat torch with his simple touch.

Jonathan just knew how to make you feel so relaxed like he knew your body better than you knew yourself. 

The way he would coax small whimpers from your mouth, how good his fingers felt trailing under your shirt, how desperate he made you feel leaning as close as you could get without the gear shift digging painfully into your ribs. 

You couldn't recall how long you were making out with Jonathan, and honestly couldn't think about anything other than the feeling of his mouth against yours, so time yourself.

The moment he pulled away, there was a damp, wet stain every place you touched him.

He was nearly as wet in your sweater as you were, and his fingers were pruned from playing with your hair. Despite having an advantage in body heat, he was now shivering from the cold. 

You were both panting like you had just learned how to breathe for the first time, the sound of his harsh breathing being washed out by the loud thumping drum of rain hitting against the small car.

He looked just like a mess as you were, lips red and swollen from your sloppy excuse for kissing, pupils dilated so wide he almost reminded you of a cat, the way his face was almost a perfect shade of pink, like all the heat from his body had rushed to his face.

"Okay so," He sighed, with a shy smile on his face, his tongue tracing over the bottom of his lip. 

"So we’re on kissing terms again, but not talking. I like kissing you… a lot. But I think I would prefer you to actually talk to me a bit more."His hand was stretched out in confusion, yet his smile never flattened. 

You felt stuck, your mind trying to regain enough sense to find words and scramble them around to form an actual response. 

“I—I don’t, well I don't know what you like, want from me I guess? Like does this make us like…official or what?”

"official," you repeat the words like they had tasted funny? Did you want to be official with Jonathan? The title was so vague in meaning that you didn't even know what it meant. 

Did it mean that Jonathan wanted to have a title for whatever you two were doing? Were you even gay?

"...Boyfriends?" You answered, watching him grin over at you while playing with the cuffs of his shirt, and an eyebrow was raised. 

"Boyfriends?" Jonathan repeated with a questioning tone, as if he wanted to hear you say it again. 

"I want you to be my boyfriend." You spoke softly, afraid that anything could go wrong—

"I kinda want to fuck you really badly right now." oh. 

He seemed to enjoy watching you squirm as if he could hear the bolts and springs banging around in your head as your lashes fluttered, your gaze blank, and your mouth hung open agape.

It only took you a few seconds to follow him to the back seat and perch in his lap at an awkward slouching angle.

 It was like Jonathan could read you like an open book, kissing you along your neck as you struggled to ruin your wet jeans. 

The feeling of his thumbs gently rubbing against the bare skin of your hips as you sat up to straddle him was soothing. 

"I don't really know what I'm doing, but I just want you to feel good, okay?" It was a comforting warning, before the pain of his two fingers thrust into your asshole, coating it in a thin layer of his own spit, the burning sensation leaving you whimpering into the curve of his neck. 

His other hand helps you hold yourself in the air, lifting your thighs for enough room for his arm to slip under and touch you, his fingers thrusting inside of you at a slow pace, Jonathan listening to the hitch in your breath to control himself as his fingers twist gently fucking your hole. 

Your whining and fidgeting made him chuckle. It was weird how quickly the pain had subsided. Your eyes were squeezing shut tight one moment, then you were rocking against his hand the next.

Just getting used to the feeling that was taken away, Jonathan removed his fingers and shifted his hips up to slide down his pants, his cock springing from his briefs, neglected and leaking.

Your forehead rested against his as you slowly lowered yourself onto his tip, not bothering to muffle the slutty whimpers that passed from your mouth and echoed in the car. 

Jonathan felt his dick twitch, the ache in his thighs to thrust farther inside of you, the burning need to sink himself deeper inside of you.

But he was a gentleman and let you set your own pace, your arm hooked onto his shoulder, the other fisted against the leather of the backseats.

You slowly sank yourself down onto his erected cock, a content grunt shared between the two of you as your arms wrapped around his neck. 

Your thighs shifted up before slamming down a shock of pleasure, leaving you whimpering and mumbling nonsense into his ear. 

Jonathan grunted, letting you use his body wholeheartedly. 

The position he sat in was comfortable enough for him to chase your thrusts with his hips, having to use most of his strength to help you squat into position. 

His hips slammed against yours greedily, the car rocking from the moving weight taking him as far as you could handle inside of your body.

Jonathan fucks his hip into you hard and fast. The hot feeling of his thick girth spreading you open as he fucked into you. 

While his fingers wrapped eagerly around your cock, his wrist twisting messily against your cock, struggling to find a rhythm with both things occupying his hands.

You felt everything all at once, your orgasm striking you over the edge. As you spilled all over his hand, your hand fisted into his hair as the other held you upright, gripping onto the back seat. 

Your muscles clench around him, your climax rippling against his cock.

"That was really, really hot," Jonathan said with a smirk. You leaned up to place a kiss against your collarbone and another just on your chin. 

"But I'm not done." He was kind enough to take a moment for your orgasm to subside. 

He allows you to relax once more before moving to lie down with your back against the seats, squeezing himself between your legs, giving you one more kind smile, resting his forehead against yours.

His hand hooked under the bend of your knee and pressed himself against your puckering hole. The moment he started moving inside of you again, you felt so sensitive everywhere, moaning his name like it was a prayer. 

Jonathan's sucking hickeys into your neck didn't help one bit. You were moaning under his lips as you leaned your head back, accepting your fate. 

Screwing your eyes and grabbing onto his shoulders, Jonathan could barely contain himself from the sight of your scrunched up, pleased face. 

Thrusting in roughly, hitting the spot that made your body want to melt against him every time. 

"Oh, fu—shit." With his legs trembling and fingers digging into the plush of your hairy thigh, you were suddenly aware of how hot it was in the car, sweat rolling from the hairline and making the skin on your back stick to the leather of the seats. 

You had no choice but to ignore it at the moment, getting your guts literally arranged, biting your lip and curling against the cramp forming in your thigh. 

The slight discomfort was just the price you were willing to pay. It was already forgotten the moment Jonathan had gripped your length that had been slapping against his chest.

 stroking you through his thrust, your back arching up into him as his muscles tensed, his entire weight suddenly shifting to lie on top of you as he was quick with his hands, pulling out of you and climaxing loudly against your chest. You didn't know how much you had in you, or if it was humanly possible to cum so much. 

Your orgasm is unrolling before you can even realize what's happening. Your second orgasm is already in full swing. 

His long, slender fingers were trembling as he pressed soft kisses against your lips, the moment becoming more intimate as you wrapped your arms around him and held him close while you felt his cock softened and pressed against your stomach. 

You rested in each other's arms for a calm moment, the sound of rain painting chorusing together with the sounds of each other breathing. 

"Kinda disappointed I couldn't make you my personal twinkie." Jonathan teased, pressing his face into your chest, enjoying being wrapped around so close to you, even being covered in each other's sweat and cum. It was a loving moment that you too enjoyed. 

Humming in agreement, not to the twinkie part, but to the fact that you two were content with the sex, closing your eyes and taking in the moment.

As much as you wished to fall asleep with Jonathan in your arms, you knew Joyce would freak out not seeing her son home after school without a word, warning to spare the single mother's heart attack of thinking her child went missing. 

"Come on, we gotta get dressed." You whispered, your thighs wrapping around his torso and squeezing around him in a playful manner, which only made him whine and curl closer against your chest.

"No, I wanna die here, just like this."

"What if I told you we could go to my place and shower together if no one's home?" The bribe was enough for him to lift his head up and look at you. His face was still flushed as he smiled dreamily.

"Well, how am I supposed to say no to that?"

Bonus: Steve finds out.

It was a mistake to ever invite Jonathan over to your place. You had almost been dating the guy for a year and every single second he had alone with you left you sore in places that you couldn't even explain with your face flushing. 

Being a gay couple during the 90s didn't help, and neither did living in a small rural town full of close-minded people afraid of change. 

Any moment that was away from the public was a break away from everyone else's eyes. Being openly affectionate wasn't something you could do around Hawkins.

 It was just the risk you two lovers took, and with your parents out of town most of the time, it wasn't a problem. 

Being able to make out in the room in the house whenever Steve was away without being bothered.

It was all good, until the times that you wanted to hang out with Jonathan. Sometimes having to beat the boy away with a stick (metaphorically). 

"I r—really have to finish, ah." You struggled against Jonathan's lips, his mouth latched onto your collarbones, nuzzling his head into your neck. 

The brunette hummed against your skin, his fingers trailing up your thigh and squeezing your already growing erection. 

It was like he had a bullseye target telling him the status of your dick at any given time.

"You're doing a lot of complaining for someone that's about to get their dick sucked." He mumbled, trailing soft kisses along your shoulder, a hiss escaping your mouth the second his teeth teasingly sank into your skin. 

Jonathan apologized with his tongue dragging along the abused spot, sucking splotchy red marks into your skin until he was satisfied.

You knew it would be a mistake to invite your boyfriend over to study, with your household empty, your parents on a work trip, and Steve was gone hanging out with friends after school. 

You were supposed to have your nose tucked away in the study packet you had for your science test, hoping that with the passing grade Jonathan had he would help you, but instead he was crawling into your lap, marking bruises all over your body. 

You sighed, dropping your pencil when Jonathan took your face in his hands, tilting your chin up to peck you on the lips. 

"Is this what it's like to have a boyfriend? I’m just your personal sex toy every day of the week until you suck me dry?" Your hands are grabbing at his loose hips, halting him from grinding against you but not putting much of a fight against the sudden display of neediness from your partner. 

"Maybe!" Jonathan hummed, latching his mouth against the skin of your neck once more. 

You exhaled a chuckle, your hands swirling alongside his hips, your thoughts starting to blank in the way Jonathan's hips rubbed against your own, the boy having so much control over you it was starting to be concerning. 

"Jonathan," you moan, tilting your head back as one of his hands wraps around your neck. His hips grind down on you with even more pressure. 

Just as you reached down to undo his belt, a shout of surprise broke your two apart. "What the fuck!" Steve screamed, his brows furrowed as he stood stock-still in the doorway of the family living room.

The room fell silent, only the sound of your heart hammering against your chest as Steve stared at the two of you with wide eyes. 

"What are you doing here?" Jonathan asked, his tone careful as he peeled himself away from your touch, still sitting in your lap, feeling your erection pressing into his thigh. He knew that the last thing you wanted was for your brother to see your boner. 

"What? What am I doing here? What are you doing here? On top of my brother?" 

"Oh God, were you two about to have sex? What the fuck, what if dad came home early or if mom saw you?" You grimaced at the thought, your head leaning into Jonathan's chest to cover your face from the embarrassing situation, wanting nothing more than to crawl into a hole and stay there at least until your erection went away.

"I mean, what the hell, when did you two even start hooking up? When did you become…gay?" Steve asked, his voice just laced with confusion, raising an octave with every question. 

Jonathan sighed, crawling out of your lap and replacing his presence with a couch pillow. While you lift your head, fingers interlaced with his, knowing that the tender look that Jonathan gave you was meant for comfort.

You struggled to find your voice, not even wanting to share this part of your life with your family. You never expected it to come out this way. "So, we've been dating—" 

"Wait, you're dating? Like, this is a whole… thing?" gesturing towards you two, you flinched as Jonathan grunted in annoyance at his tempting already running thin, seeing how uncomfortable you were. 

He knew that it had to happen one day, the day that your family, his family, his friends, and all of Hawkins knew about the relationship that you two had.

"Steve," Jonathan barged in, firmly squeezing your hand. "Yes, we’re dating. We've been dating for almost a year now, and honestly, it's been a pretty good fucking year. I'm sure Y/N was going to tell you at some point. It's just that we love each other and want to do anything to keep our relationship that way. " 

"You’re in love?" Steve mumbled, staring at his twin brother with a tinge of jealousy passing through his emotions before he settled with just being happy for you. 

"Well...then I'm happy for you."

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[artaxerxesthegreat]

For You- part 1

Demetri x F!Reader

A/N: Wanted to make a oneshot, ended up making a 2 parter.

Warnings: she/her pronouns used, some language used, NO MINORS PLEASE, might get a bit spicy in the end, mentions of anxiety, car accident, google translate, pining, slowish burn, not beta read.

I only own Louis and Ishtar.

Word count: 6K

Part 2

—Present Day—

“How long are you going to ignore him, Y/N?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Heidi.” I keep my eyes trained on the book in my hands, but I stopped reading a long time ago. My thoughts keep finding their way back to the tracker and it’s starting to annoy me.

“Y/N. You have been here for three weeks and can’t seem to stop staring at him. Why don’t you just talk to him.” There’s a smirk playing on her lips as she sends me a side glance.

I slam the book shut rising from my seat, “I do NOT stare at him. He just happens to be standing in the comfy spot I space out in.”

“…What?”

“As a human I would space out a lot- just look at a specific area and let my mind wander, I just have a particular area that I zone out in, he just happens to be standing in those places when I do- hell, sometimes he isn’t even there when I space out, but he shows up so it looks like I’m staring at him- but I’m not!” Heidi gives me a face telling me she isn’t convinced, “I’m serious, Heidi, there’s nothing to it. Okay?”

“It’s not like anything would happen between us anyway… he’s way out of my league.”

“Besides, he’s the one that always looks like he wants to say something and then doesn’t. It’s so weird, he’s weird.” I cross my arms looking at her defiantly, “Your friend is weird!”

“If you say so.” She says in a sing-song voice.

“I do!” I snap at her leaving the common room, her laugh seems to follow me all the way to my room. Slamming my door I lay face down on my bed, screaming into my pillow, “UUUUuuuuuuuGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH!…. I never should’ve come here…”

—3 weeks ago; 2022—

“Come on, Y/N, it’s fine. We’ll just make our normal round to the Volturi and you can come back.” My Father doesn’t bother to look up from his book as he skims the pages.

“Louis, you know I hate going there, Aro is just so- so-… So weird!”

“Y/N-”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about! With his weird ‘too friendly smile’ that you know only a person who’d backstab you has, it rubs me the wrong way. Especially since he always wants to touch you! Uuuugghhh!”

“… You do remember that he can read minds through touch, right Y/N?” My sister Ishtar asks raising a brow at me.

“Oh sweet Jesus!” I cover my mouth at the realization, “M- maybe he won’t touch me?” My family just gives me a look and I begin to apologize profusely in my head. “Please don’t kill me, I’m sorry. I’m still new.”

“Come, Y/N. Let’s go get ready for our trip.” My Father rises from his chair, bookmarking his place, a small smile on his face as he brushes past me.

Sighing defeated I close my eyes wishing I had just died 30 years ago, Ishtar drapes her arm over my shoulders hugging me, “It’s alright sis, I’m sure Aro will forgive you…again.”

“Look, what happened 30 years ago wasn’t my fault!”

“It kind of was.” I glare at the face she gives me as she hurmously recalls the events that led to my transformation, “You befriended us, almost died in a car accident, Louis felt bad and changed you, brought you to the Volturi because we didn’t want to die, you spent a year with them and annoyed the hell out of literally every single person there. It’s pretty cut and dry. Heidi couldn’t stand you, the twins avoided you like the plague, Felix thought you were funny but that’s about it-”

“He thought I was funny because I would trip over my own two feet.”

“You are the clumsiest vampire ever- even the infamous Casanova the Volturi avoided you.” She laughs at the memory.

“It’s not my fault I’m clumsy as a vampire! I thought being this ‘perfect being’ meant I wouldn’t be so me!”

“Guess it doesn’t apply to you sis.”

“…Why don’t you be useful and make it rain in California?” I give her a flat look as she ruffles my hair, “Stop doing that.”

“Y/N, Ishtar, go gather your things, please.” Louis all but pleads as he emerges from his room.

“Fiiiinnnne!” We say in unison zooming to our rooms.

“I don’t want to go back, we do this visit every year. All we do is stay for a week or two and then leave. I help them install the latest tech, bring them up to speed with the ever changing lingo and then stay in my room for the rest of our time there. We don’t even talk to any of the guards- ‘cept Felix, he’s cool. Tall, but cool…” Packing a few spare outfits knowing Felix is gonna want to spare again my mind wanders to the tracker, “It feels like it’s getting harder and harder to leave…Demetri… Whoa! Can vampires get shivers? Weird…”

Shaking my head I sling on my duffle bag, grabbing a jacket and sweater… a sweater that was in my room 30 years ago after my year with the Volturi was up. There wasn’t a note, just a random black sweater that was too big for me but still very comfy. I smile as I tie it around my waist, it had the faintest of smells, but by the time I noticed it it was already fading away. After 30 years I still haven’t asked who left it, but I bring it every year, sadly no one comes forward, either way I still wear it whenever I visit, maybe the Kings left it for me?

“Y/N you ready?” Ishtar knocks on my door frame smiling as she notices the sweater, “Still with that sweater?”

“It’s comfy!”

“Mhmm, whatever you say. Maybe your boyfriend will finally introduce himself.” She has a coy smile that makes me feel annoyed.

“Just because someone left me a sweater doesn’t mean they like me in a romantic sense! Stop smiling like that! Gods, Ish, you can be so uuuugghhhh!”

“Great use of the English language, sister.”

“Shut up.” I can’t stop the smile that finds its way to my face as I push her out of my room. “Let’s go before Louis comes looking for us.”

“Everyone ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Yup!”

Getting in the car we drive in the dead of night to the airport, where two members of the guard are waiting.

“Santiago, Afton.” My Father nods his head in recognition at them as I start to dread everything I’ve ever done in life leading up to this point.

“Louis.” Santiago turns his attention to Ishtar next, “Ishtar.”

“Hiya! How’s it going?”

“Very well, thank you.”

“Noice!” She giggles at the questioning look on his face, “It’s a word I learned from a TV show, it’s pretty great, we should watch it together some time.”

I squint in disbelief as she flirts with Santiago. I send a glance at Afton, just to make sure I’m seeing this correctly. He returns it with a slight smirk on his face, slightly shaking his head at their exchange. Rolling my eyes I push her shoulder so she can get on the plane, she shoots me a glare over her shoulder and lets out a huff walking up the steps.

“Y/N.” There’s a bit of a tightness in Santiago’s voice when he says my name, and that’s either because I just cut their moment short or because of my clumsy nature. Either way, I feel bad.

“Hi.” Quickly running up the steps, I surprise myself that I didn’t trip, “Noice.”

Once we’re all aboard I put in my headphones and stare out the window thinking back to my first time in Volterra.

—30 years ago; 1992—

“Louis, this is quite unexpected. What possessed you to possibly want to make another newborn- without consulting us no less.” Aro sits in his throne with an expression of mock concern on his face as he watches me intently. Getting uncomfortable with his stare I look down at my sneakers, I feel Ishtar grab my hand holding it reassuringly. I squeeze back a bit too hard and she winces at me.

“Sorry.” She pats my arm giving me a smile as we listen to our Father’s response.

“She is someone we consider family, she has been with us for some time- though she never knew our secret. She was dying and I could not let that happen; she’s like a daughter to me, there would not have been time to consult you, Great Kings with the severity of her injuries. Which is why we brought her here now.” Aro’s eyes turn to me with a dark kind of glint in them, making me duck my head down, biting my lip as I scoot closer to Ishtar, “I know the trouble newborns can be, but I know that the Volturi have the means to properly train them.”

“You assume we will take this creature off of your hands, and your assumptions are leading you down a very short path.” Caius glowers at us, making me wonder if I should’ve just died in that accident.

“I would rather not have a newborn rampaging through the streets in broad daylight.” Louis sends Caius a glare of his own making the King sit up at the challenge, flicking his eyes back to Aro he adds, “I only wish she stay here for a year and after she may return to us.”

The room is quiet as Aro thinks this through, occasionally he sends a glance my way but never says anything. Getting antsy I look around the room and my eyes land on a man standing in the far corner, his blonde spiked hair, the curve of his nose, the stoic but calm face he has, the red of his eyes as he stares back at me-…

“Oh shit.” I snap my head back to Aro who saw what happened. He quickly looks at the man and then back to me and the faintest smile is forming on his face, “Noooo. No, don’t you dare. Don’t you dare do it, Creepy guy on the throne!”

“Demetri-”

“Ah, fuck you man.” I scoff lightly, closing my eyes leaning my head against Ishtar’s shoulder.

“Yes, Master?”

“Oh no, he even sounds hot! Whhhhhyyyyyyy?!”

“How would you and Felix feel about training a newborn?” I open my eyes at his question looking at him and then to Demetri. Demetri stares at me for a few seconds before I start feeling awkward, leaning further into Ishtar I whisper,

“Who’s Felix?”

���He is.” She pushes me slightly away from her and I feel myself bumping into someone.

“Sorry, I-” I look at the person next to me, but stop short when my eyes keep moving up. My head is almost tilted all the way back as I stare up at this man, who is smirking down at me. I reflexively put Ishtar’s hand in an iron grip as I slowly move away from the giant.

“Ow. Y/N!” She tries to get her hand away from me, but I’m not letting up, still staring at Felix, “Let my hand go!”

“No, thank you.”

“Y/N-”

“No.”

“Y/N, let her hand go.” Louis whispers to me trying to pry my hand off of Ishtar’s.

“Switch spots with me.”

Sighing, Louis pushes us down and stands next to Felix and I let her hand go. She rubs it glaring at me, I give her a sheepish look turning my eyes back to my sneakers.

“I think it will be fun.” With wide eyes I snap my head to Felix who is still watching me. “What do you think, Demetri?”

“… I suppose.” The look on Demetri’s face is one that looks burdened and inconvenienced.

“Excellent, we welcome young Y/N with open arms.” Aro smiles widely and I can’t stop the sound of dread that leaves me. I suck in a breath, when all eyes are on me again, and grab both Louis and Ishatr’s arms pulling them closer to me to block away the stares. Ishtar pats my head gently smiling while Louis thanks the Masters. Being dismissed, we’re taken to my ‘new room’ and say our goodbyes.

“Why do I have to stay here? This place is weird, and creepy, it gives me the heebie-jeebies!”

“Relax little sister, everything will be fine.” Ishtar rubs my arms reassuringly, “As a newborn it will be hard for you to control your thirst, you need to be taught.”

“So why don’t you guys teach me? I’m very teachable!”

“It is not as easy as you might think, Y/N. This is for the best, trust us please.”

“But- I-…. Fine.” I watch as they give me small smiles leaving me in this cold, strange place.The next few weeks were filled with training, and rules being drilled into my head.

. . . . . . . .

“Why do we care if we sparkle in the sun?” I ask with a distant look on my face, the woman drilling me was Heidi, and she was running out of patience.

“Because.” It seems to take everything in her not to hit me, “We will be exposed to the humans!”

“Yeah, but why-”

“Enough!” She promptly stands up walking out of my room, Felix pokes his head in smirking.

“I was only asking a question!”

“Y/N, you have been asking that question since your first day here.”

“…I… know, but I just don’t get it. So what if we shine, that doesn’t automatically mean people are going to point and go ‘Oh. My. Gosh! A vampire!”

He chuckles at me sitting in Heidi’s previous spot, “No, but it’s best to avoid questions either way. A thief would never do something to make themselves known as a thief- unless they wanted to get caught or are very sure of themselves.”

“Mmmm I guess you’re right.” I shrug absentmindedly, slumping in my chair, “Is it time to spare again?”

“Actually, the Masters want to see you.”

“I didn’t do it!” I shot up in my chair with panic in my eyes. Felix lets out a laugh trying to calm me down.

“What- hahaha- what are you talking about?”

“…um… Nothing.” I fold my hands in my lap looking down at them.

“I don’t believe you for a second, but come on.” Smiling, he holds his hand out to me as we walk down to the throne room, standing outside is Demetri who’s eyes land on our hands. Feeling unnerved by it, I let Felix’s hand go, I place mine behind my back.

“Felix. Newborn.”

“Hm- oh, hi.” I spare him a glance before being led into the throne room.

“Y/N, please come in. I have a very important question for you.” Aro smiles as we enter.

“Yes, sir?”

“Are you competent?”

“. . . I beg your pardon?” It felt like a cool breeze blew into the throne room at his question, I find myself glancing around the room trying to find Heidi.

“Are you competent?”

“I find myself at a loss for words, sir.” I try to come up with an answer but I don’t really have one, “I feel that if I ask for clarification I’d be proving some kind of point made while I wasn’t here, and if I say yes, I’m going to be reprimanded for something. This- this feels like a dangerous question.”

His smile gets wider as he shakes his head, “I’m simply asking, for we are having trouble with the technology that has come out recently. None of us seem to understand it quite well.”

“Oh, well then yes I suppose I am.” I shrug, “What do you need help with?”

“Learning the ways of the World Wide Web.” It takes everything in me not to laugh at his words, closing my eyes I bite the inside of my cheek, nodding my head in response, “Then you will be able to teach us?”

“Mm-hmm!”

“Wonderful! That is all. Jane, Alec take Y/N to where we keep the computer and learn what you can from her.”

“Yes, Master.”

The twins usher me out of the throne room and I begin my lesson on the Internet 101. They weren’t thrilled and made up their minds that I wasn’t worthy of teaching them anything and left halfway through my lesson. Sighing to myself I turn off the computer and walk around the castle. I let my mind wander while I was wandering- which wasn’t a good idea because I ended up tripping over a bit of stone that was sticking up from the ground, I promptly face plant into the floor and I hear a scoff not far away from where I was. Looking up I see Demetri looking at me with a face I couldn’t quite place. Quickly getting up I dust off my hands laughing awkwardly.

“Did you just fall?” He asks as he trials his eyes over me.

“N-No.” I sputtered out a scoff avoiding eye contact, “I just… thought the floor needed a hug.”

He doesn’t say anything, just gives me a pained look before walking away from me.

“…Great, now he thinks I’m weird.” I glare at the stone, “This is your fault.” Stomping my foot down the stone all but turns to dust under my heel as I resume my walk.

—3 weeks ago on the plane; 2022—

I smile at the thought, but cringe at the look that crossed Demetri’s face, after that incident training became more rigorous and intense. I had to be this perfect fighter, I wasn’t let off the hook for anything. Demetri pretty much ran me into the ground with all his orders and words of disappointment, not to mention he never wanted to see me outside of the training room. If it wasn’t for Felix reassuring me, and actually helping me I never would’ve lasted a year. I was so happy to leave when the year was up, but a part of me felt like I was leaving something important behind. I just didn’t know what. As the years went on I managed to make friendships with some of the guards and Heidi doesn’t hate me as much- probably because she doesn’t have to teach me any of the rules anymore.

Leaning on my hand I stare out the window as rain begins to pour down on the plane, my mind goes back to my first rain storm in Volterra.

—30 years ago; 1992—

“It’s raining!” I say excitedly to Felix who just raises a brow at me.

“Yes, it is.”

“Don’t you want to jump in puddles or something?” I smile leaning on his armrest, he leans away from me slightly like I’ve grown an extra head.

“How old are you?”

“What’s age got to do with jumping in puddles? Why should children have all the fun?” I glare at him as he just smiles at me. “I’m 21, by the way.”

“Basically a child.”

“Rude!” I smack his arm playfully remembering I’m a bit stronger than him, “That didn’t hurt did it?”

“No. You’re getting better with your control.”

“Sweet!” I lean back towards him, “Soooooooo rain puddles?”

Sighing, he gets up with a grunt as I grab his arm rushing us out of the room and to the gardens. Stepping out into the storm I close my eyes as the rain hits my face, opening my arms wide I turn my face to the sky as a loud boom of thunder is heard overhead.

“Don’t get struck by lightning!” Felix watches in amusement as I look at him with wide eyes.

“I thought we couldn’t die?!”

“Yes, but you are still very flammable.” I zoom out of the rain just as the huge flash of lightning crosses the sky.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?! I could’ve died! AGAIN!” He just throws his head back in a laugh as I hit his chest with punches, “Stop laughing you big meanie!”

“Felix.”

Our attention is drawn to Demetri who watches us with indignation heavy on his face, looking away from him I excuse myself not wanting to be around my personal torturer- I mean trainer.

“I’ll see ya later, Felix.”

“Alright.” His voice is soft, almost sad that I’m leaving. Turning around the corner I stop at Demetri’s crossed voice.

“What do you think you are doing?”

“What do you mean, I’m just being a friend. I’m allowed to have those, Dem.” Felix says with a bit of a bite in his voice.

“Of course you are, but not with her.” Not wanting to hear the rest of their conversation I speed to my room laying down on my bed.

—3 weeks ago on the plane; 2022—

“Ugh, why does everything get depressing with each happy memory?”

“You have those? Happy memories, I mean. Didn’t think that was possible.” Ishtar quips from in front of me, I kick the back of her seat as she tries to hit me, “Stop being an ass, Y/N!”

“Then stop being a bitch, bitch.”

“Girls, please.” Our Father sighs, hanging his head.

“She started it!” We say pointing at each other.

“What did I do to deserve such daughters?” He asks no one in particular.

“…Well that’s just rude.” I say folding my arms.

“I know! How dare he, he is lucky we haven’t left him.” Ishtar huffs leaning back to look at me.

“I mean, we still can. We are going to Volterra.” We smile at each other impishly at the groan that leaves Louis. Turning back to him we wait for his apology.

“I am sorry, please don’t leave me.”

“That was such a sad apology, I’m not convinced you really want us to stay.” I lean on my armrest smirking at Louis.

“Please, do not leave me alone with Ishtar. I fear I’ll go mad.”

“Hey!”

“Pfft, alright old man, I’ll stay with you. It’s not like I can stomach staying in Volterra anyway.” My smile fades as I look back out the window, “At least I have technology to help me get through this time.”

“You had that before, Y/N.” Ishtar deadpans.

“Yeah, but this is better technology, the age of touch screens and wireless headphones. Do you realize how freaked out everyone was when 2000 came around? I just can’t figure out how I became the Volturi’s personal IT person, they don’t even pay me… Maybe I should start charging them?”

“Please don’t.”

“Why should I work for free?”

“Just don’t Y/N.”

“…Fine, Louis. Fine.” I roll my eyes at him leaning back in my seat.

—30 years ago; 1992—

“I must say, it is a shame to see you leave us, Y/N. I feel as though the castle will not be the same without you here.” Aro looks at me with a sad smile patting my hand.

“It’s probably for the best.” I shift uncomfortably remembering all the accidents that happened to me or because of me. Afton still hasn’t forgiven me for accidentally ripping his arm off in training- Felix thought it was hilarious but that was about it. Demetri was less than pleased, but stopped Afton from retaliating so that was fine I guess.

“Yes, Afton hasn’t quite forgiven you yet, I’m afraid.”

“What?” I look up at Aro with confusion and then realize he’s still holding my hand. I quickly pull my hand back smiling awkwardly, “Right, right. Sorry.”

“Are you quite sure you wish to leave?” Aro asks, stepping into my space, making me lean away from him.

“Oh, yeah. I miss Ishtar and Louis. It’ll be nice to talk to them instead of writing letters or waiting for an email- you do remember how to make those right?”

“Yes! I had an excellent teacher.” He says in a chipper voice, making me smile at him.

“Okay, well you’ll be fine then.” My eyes skirt over to Demetri who is staring at his shoes with a deep crease in his brow. “What’s his deal?” Shaking myself from my thoughts I turn back to Aro, “Can I go pack now?”

“Yes, you may.”

“Thanks.”

I walk to my room and pause at the neatly folded sweater on my bed, “Who left this?” I gently pick it up unfolding it looking at the embroidered forge with a flame encircling a hammer. Running my fingers over it I take in all the details that went into making this decent sized piece of art. My thoughts couldn’t dwell on it for long because Ishtar runs in tackling me onto my bed.

“Y/N! I HAVE BEEN SO BORED WITHOUT YOU! NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!”

“Oh my god, Ish. Get off!” I laugh pushing her off of me, careful not to mess up the sweater. Laughing she rolls on her side looking at the sweater.

“What is this?”

“This my friend, is called a sweater!” She flicks my forehead, rolling her eyes at me, “I came in and it was there. There wasn’t a note so I don’t know who left it, but I’m guessing it’s for me.”

“And what has led you to such a conclusion?”

“The fact that it’s in my room? And it was folded neatly on my bed, which was not neatly made when I left, but it was when I came in.”

“Oooo free clothes and they made your bed, you have an admirer.” She grins at me cheekily as I shake my head at her.

“No, you’re reading too much into this. Just cause someone makes your bed and leaves you a sweater doesn’t mean they like you.”

“…Really, Y/N?”

“Really.” I nod my head holding the sweater in my lap, “Now, come on. I need to get my stuff so I can leave this place.”

“Didn’t have fun?” She snickers at me as I send her a glare.

“If you must know, no I didn’t. Everyone here hates me- except Felix, but that’s because I make him laugh. But everyone else hates me.”

“That can’t be true.” Almost as if on cue Jane and Alec stop at my door.

“You are finally leaving.” Alec’s face is blank as he watches us pack.

“Good.” Jane finishes walking to her room Alec close behind her.

“…Wow, but they don’t count. They hate everyone.” Ishtar packs my shirts away, and Heidi is the next to stop by. I give Ishtar a look as I turn to Heidi.

“Well, this is the day I leave Heidi. Any words of advice?”

“Don’t break any laws. If you can remember them.” She glares at me leaving Ishtar in stunned silence. Turning on her heel she walks down the hall passing Demetri, we lean out watching them as they share a look with one another and I don’t know how to categorize the feeling in my chest, but I didn’t like it. Retreating back in my room I place the sweater on the bed to finish packing.

“Told you they hate me.”

“Sister, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything! I just tripped a few times, forgot basic laws, almost ripped out someone’s throat because I was so hungry- then I did rip someone’s throat out, Caius was so pissed.” Her eyes go wide as she plops down on my bed, holding onto the clothes in her hands like a lifeline, “All the blood sprayed on him, I was in the dungeon for a month! Master Marcus always sighs heavily whenever I enter a room, Aro frowns for like 0.01 seconds before smiling again- I’m telling you Ish, they loathe me. Especially the tracker.”

“I have a name.” We jump at the sudden sound of his voice and I step away from him even though he’s made no moves from the doorway. His eyes survey the room and land on the sweater resting on the bed. I step to the side blocking the sweater from his vision and it seemed like the faintest of smiles was on his face.

“I- yes- well, you’re right- I just- cuz- Dem-” Ishtar kicks my leg making me stop my word vomit.

“Thank you.” I whisper out in a stranded voice being scrutinized by Demetri.

“Aro wishes to see you one last time before you go.” He steps back but stops at the groan that leaves my mouth.

“Wwwwhhhhyyyaahhhhh! I swear if he asks if I’m sure I want to leave I’m gonna punch him.” Ishtar clears her throat looking at Demetri. Looking at him I laugh out, “I- I’m kidding- hahahAHAHAAHAAAA! I would never! I like living!”

“Hmm.” Is all we’re left with as he leaves the room. With frantic eyes I look back at Ishtar. She panics with me and pushes me towards the door.

“Go stop him! Beg, grovel, anything to make sure Aro doesn’t know what you just said! He is literally his right hand- well, not really, but he loves Aro, so go!”

“I but- We-”

“Go!”

“Fi- okay!” I speed out of the room searching for Demetri, “Where’d he go, where’d he go?” Running down the stairs I almost slam into his back when I reach the bottom as he’s stopped walking to look out of the window in front of us. I place my hands out in front me to stop myself, more or less gently bumping into his back.

Turning his head to the side slightly he watches me from the corner of his eye, “And here I half expected you to slam into me.”

“Sorry.” I quickly take a step back clasping my hands behind my back casting my eyes to the floor, “Thank goodness I don’t have a heartbeat.”

“Is there something you need, newborn?”

“Um- uh no- no. Sorry to bother you, won’t happen again. BYE!” I all but zoom back to the top of the stairs leaning against the wall holding my unbeating heart, “Oh geez, Y/N. Get over yourself… *sigh*, why is it so hard to talk to him?”

I slide down the wall hanging my head in disappointment in myself. The sound of footsteps has me look up as Demetri walks up the stairs, turning my head forward, I stare at a crack in the wall in front of me, cringing at the pause in his steps. He resumes walking and stops once he’s at the very top of the stairs.

It feels like an eternity goes by before I clear my throat, stand up, and turn to walk back to my room. I was able to take two steps before he grabs my arm pulling my back to face him.

“Whoa!-” I almost lose my balance at the force of it all and catch myself by grabbing the side of his coat leveling myself, he places a hand on my elbow helping me standup and stares at me with such a burning gaze I can’t look away. It wasn’t angry, but it wasn’t happy- almost like he was trying to tell me something, but telepathically. I try to move away, but his grip gets firmer pulling me closer to him, I stare up at him with growing fear, remembering our training sessions. He seems to sense this but doesn’t let me go, instead he just blurts out,

“σε παρακαλώ μην με αφήνεις αγάπη μου. Σε περίμενα τόσο πολύ - μη με αφήνεις. Μείνε για πάντα.” His eyes are pleading and searching my face for something, closing his eyes he leans his forehead against mine, and I short circuit.

“I- what?” Moving my head away from him with confusion and dismay, “Was that Greek? I don’t speak Greek.”

He blinks twice before he just stares at me blankly, letting me go he puts an arm behind his back going into ‘guard mode’. Taking a much needed step back I try to figure out what just happened; not coming up with an answer I just point to the direction where my room is, “I’m just… gonna go finish packing… Bye, again.”

Not waiting for a response I walk quickly back to my room where Ishtar is laughing with Felix, “You ripped someone’s arm off?!”

“It was an accident! Felix, why’d you tell her?”

“She asked for funny stories.” He shrugs and chuckles, looking over my face he says, “You were with Demetri.”

“No!” I shout quickly, Ishtar gives me a face of confusion and I back track, “I mean… Yes! Cuz she made me. But, how’d you know?”

“You look terrified.” He says matter of factly glancing at the sweater on the bed.

“Y-yeah well, you know how it is.” Almost instinctively I grab the sweater holding it close to my chest like a security blanket of sorts. Felix smirks at me clutching the sweater. “He said something to me, but it was in Greek or something. I think I pissed him off.” Only thinking about it momentarily I remember the feeling of his forehead resting against mine, shaking myself from the thought I look back at Ishtar, “Is everything packed?”

“Yup! You’re welcome.”

“Thanks.” I roll my eyes at her smiling, putting on the sweater. “Guess I better go see Aro then.”

“I’ll walk with you.”

“Thanks.” I loop my arm with Felix as Ishtar gathers my bags and heads to the front doors. Stopping in front of the throne room doors I can’t help but feel anxious about it all.

“You’ll be fine, Y/N.” I give Felix a small smile pushing the doors open. The three Kings are in their normal spots and I take my place in the middle of the room.

“Y/N, I know you are rather restless and wish to be with your family, but I have a request to ask of you.” Aro begins descending the steps.

I raise a brow at his words, “A request?”

“Yes, I wish for you to visit Volterra at least once a year- your family may join you if they wish, but I’d very much like for you to visit. Just pop in and say ‘hello’.”

“Uuuuuuhhhhhmm, I… guess? But why though?”

“You are one of the youngest vampires we have and it will give us peace of mind that everything is going well with you, while you are out in the world. Also, humans are always changing and developing new technologies, which you seem to have quite a gift for using. It would be appreciated if you would keep us up to date with it.”

“I wouldn’t call it a ‘gift’, but yeah. I can do that.” I slowly nod my head thinking over his words.

“Wonderful, you truly are a gift.” He says placing a hand on my shoulder as he stresses the word ‘gift’.

“I can find some holes in that argument, but thanks!” I smile widely at him, sending Caius a glance as he sneers at me. “I’m gonna go now. See you in a year I guess.”

“One year then- or more than once a year. You could come here twice or thrice a year, whatever you choose.” I still at his words, squinting at him.

“Mmmm uh, once a year should be good.” I give him a thumbs up walking out of the throne room cautiously. My eyes land on Demetri who seems to have a dark cloud hanging over his head as he glares at me, “Definitely once a year.”

Walking out of the castle into the night, I take a deep breath smiling at Louis who’s leaning against the car patiently waiting for me.

“My newest and youngest daughter!” Louis smiles brightly, hugging me tightly, “They didn’t hurt you did they?”

“Eh, I don’t think so?” I laugh hugging him back just as tightly.

“Ready to go, newbie?” Ishtar chucks a bag at me. Catching it with ease I stick my tongue out at her, “Great reflexes, how are you clumsy?”

“I don’t know!” I place my bag in the truck. Hopping in the backseat I look out the window to see Felix waving goodbye. Waving back I remember my promise to Aro, “Oh, let me tell you guys before I forget, Aro made a request.”

“A request?” Ishtar turns back to me with wide eyes, “What kind of request?”

“He asked that I come by every so often to keep them up to date with the times and that I’m adjusting well to life as a vampy.” I shrug looking at their faces, “What’s wrong? Why are your faces like that?”

“No reason, Aro isn’t one to make requests- and if he does they aren’t so…”

“Nice?” Ishtar supplies giving our Father a flat look. Not saying anything he just nods his head once before driving away.

“I thought it was weird too- ‘specially when he said I could visit as often as I wanted, you guys can come too, by the way.”

“That is very generous.” Louis is deep in thought before he asks, “Did anything happen this year? Anything that would cause Aro to make this specific request?”

“I dunno. I made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve gotten better. I know everyone has a certain amount of dislike for me, but I can’t figure out why Aro wants me there.” I roll the cuffs of my sweater up leaning against the window.

“Where did you get such a sweater?”

“It was on my-”

“-It was on her NEATLY made bed- that she did NOT make up, and NEATLY folded on top of it, waiting for her on her last day in Volterra!” Ishtar butts in happily wiggling her eyebrows at Louis. There’s a pause before they glance back at me with a look of realization.

“What? What is it? Why are you guys looking at me like that?”

“No reason!” Ishtar turns to the front and Louis drums his fingers on the steering wheel forcing a smile.

“Oh, very convincing guys.” I deadpan glaring at them, “What is it? Just tell me.”

“Are you sure you want to leave the Volturi, Y/N?”

“Yes, Louis, it wasn’t the best experience in the world. Plus I missed you guys!”

“…Very well, Y/N.”

——————

σε παρακαλώ μην με αφήνεις αγάπη μου. Σε περίμενα τόσο πολύ - μη με αφήνεις. Μείνε για πάντα=Please do not leave me my love. I have waited so long for you- don't leave me. Stay forever.

[kitpanthera]

chapters 16-18 🎉

1. my immediate thought about the girls screaming is that stan must be benefiting from having hearing aids he can turn off rn

2. "it's like she doesn't even know how to handle me being my own person" dipper :((( more dippy fresh foreshadowing? (god i wish we had actually seen dipper snap his neck in canon. he deserves to!! but still, grappling with the knowledge that when mabel could remake the world, she remade her brother completely out of character. 😔)

3. bill getting constant whiplash from dipper being genuine in wanting to hang out with him makes him nonverbal. me too, bill.

4. dipper feeling bill's hand in his hair is so sweet 🥹 even if bill refuses to admit it, he's come to care for pine tree! and dipper getting physical affection from someone besides mabel!!

5. "for now and forever, full access, with my permission" a shiver just went down ford's spine somewhere in the multiverse.

6. is a pact bond different than a traditional deal? i'm assuming it is -- is it just stronger than a deal?

7. STARS STARS STARS (is this something you incorporated post reading the book of bill or were stars always part of their story?)

8. "it's not stupid to want to share the stars with someone you care about" i'm going into cardiac arrest.

9. the dying dimension bit -- i don't think bill ever told ford that the nightmare realm is dying. he's willing to be more vulnerable with dipper (i need to come to your universe or i will cease to exists)!

10. dipper sharing the constellations with bill when the people of his dimension couldn't see the stars, let alone name them...

11. i haven't been commenting on the ciphers but the one at the end of ch 17 ("from now and always," "from now until the end of time," what's the difference?)... when weirdmageddon comes, time is dead. and then bill literally kills time baby. so by making the distinction between the two, dipper will stand by him/bill will have access to his mind even after time no longer exists!

12. a world where dipper tells mabel everything in that moment...

13. the cabin changing so they have a way to go view the stars together 🥹🔫 (the touch of the memory gun to my head)

14. dipper waiting for bill to be ready for their friendship -- he's still a sweet kid under all that anger bill is pulling out of him!

15. bill looking at the stars by himself. i weep.

16. stan being upset about dipper "researching" things and being apart from mabel. stan having the history repeating itself realization and seeing that even mabel couldn't get her twin to stand by her. (it was always fated for them)

17. dipper learning how to pick locks! i could see stan being so annoyed that he didn't get to teach dipper that. wonder if that will be useful in the future. 👀

18. "prove it" and he stands up to mabel, the hardest thing he could've ever done before this summer.

19. mabel once again reinforcing everything dipper has been thinking -- her not liking that dipper isn't conforming to how she thinks he should be !! dippy fresh, when i catch you!

20. "you did what you needed to do." well yes! even if bill hadn't manipulated him to that, dipper absolutely needed to set boundaries at some point!

21. how much energy is bill using to send things todipper?

22. where are stan and mabel while gideon is just tearing dipper's room apart?

23. gideon making a real deal with dipper... did bill teach him how to do that or was that all dipper? his magic seemed to react instinctively by switching to the fire so fast.

24. bill being upset because he's starting to realize he also cares for dipper... not even he can escape the magic of friendship.

25. the wood symbolism this entire chapter... the wood falling after dipper mentions bill's home, the main log cracking but staying together (bill clinging to the illusion that he doesn't care for dipper?), the log snapping and finally crumbling after dipper calls him out on bill no longer genuinely believing in their relationship being transactional... also the fact that the fire has continously been a symbol of warmth to welcome dipper into the cabin (symbolizing bill luring him in or the real warmth the bill always had but was hidden)...

26. bill not realizing that dipper knew he was using him the entire time when you realize that a) dipper knew bill views friendships as transactional, b) his dimension is dying and he wants into dipper's, and c) dipper is part of the plans for that. you're not subtle!

i'll be back with more tomorrow!! thank you thank you thank you! i appreciate this so much 💚💚💚

1. During the day, he's either busy with tours or turns the hearing aids down when they're screaming. At night, he's in the basement, and can't hear anyway!

2. I sincerely cannot wait for Weirdmageddon. Hoohoo, heehee. There is so much to work with in their crumbling relationship, and the "ideal" Dipper is one piece of it!

3. Yeah, Bill sincerely believes everyone else he's worked with in history has just seen him as a means to an end. Then Dipper comes along, sincerely and honestly just liking him... and the guy who uses his words to appear more powerful, to have control of every situation, loses his words. :)

4. Yes! The boy needs physical affection, and it's becoming less and less of an act as time goes on for Bill. Dipper hasn't gotten any affection at this point in weeks. In canon, he and Mabel are always grabbing each other, their hands, arms, they hug, all this, constantly comforted in each other's presence. Dipper hasn't gotten that. So Bill is showing that he cares more than Mabel has lately, that's what he intends it to mean, but he finds it means more to him than he bargained for.

5. Oh yeah. This was the point where I definitively said to myself, he's officially in deeper than Ford.

6. Yeah, so a pact bond is specifically when someone makes a deal to be bonded to a powerful being, such as a deity. It goes beyond just a normal deal, it actually binds the person to the being to some extent. Normally this is in exchange for access to non-traditional magic, but not always.

7. I was actually always going to have stargazing be something they do together (the idea was in my head for months), but with this chapter releasing post BoB, I decided to incorporate Bill's relationship with the stars into it. I was so pleasantly surprised that it canonically means so much to him, actually.

8. :)

9. As far as we know, Dipper is the only one he's told. The level of vulnerability it takes to admit there's a self-preservation reason to his plan... :)

10. :)

11. Yes! This is the answer!!

12. It exists, just not here :)

13. Isn't the cabin such a cozy and comforting place?

14. Oh yes! And he is certain and confident he knows what he's doing. All his sweetness is currently reserved for Bill.

15. He can't deny the beauty of the stars, or the appreciation for Dipper naming the constellations. Just wait until Dipper tells him that every individual star has a name!

16. Yes! Stan and Mabel relate hard in this house. Stan wants to stop history from repeating itself, and tries to comfort Mabel often by telling her it won't. He kinda sees the writing on the wall, their relationship deteriorating like his and Ford's, if Dipper keeps this up, and he doesn't even see a good reason for it.

17. 👀

18. Yep! Proving he's loyal to Bill more than Mabel, who's been his other half his whole life. It's been a responsibility drilled into him to always put her, her feelings, her goals, all before his own, and Bill has broken through that conditioning and taught him to stand up for himself, his feelings, his goals, and his beliefs.

19. Hey, when you're used to someone sacrificing everything for you, you don't realize how much they do until they stop doing it. Their parents have done so much damage and basically Mabel became spoiled by Dipper, in a sense, without realizing it, and now that she's not, she wants it back and doesn't get why he stopped.

20. Yes! Boundaries for our king are so important. Bill does make some good points.

21. A good bit. :)

22. Stan was running tours, and Mabel was at Grenda's house!

23. He's been training with Bill so much, it basically came naturally to him to make deals. You'll also notice I had Dipper sitting and kicking his feet, a mannerism he picked up from Bill. He's just generally more like Bill, as well.

24. :)

25. Yes yes yes yes thank you so much for noticing this???? The fire and wood symbolism was so intentional on my part and it's one of the things I'm most proud of because it's multifaceted and I just. adore that metaphor. I'm so glad you picked up on it!!!!

26. He's so insecure about the fact that he's sincerely liked (and probably loved on some level) by another being, that he just... he feels the need to make it abundantly clear that his intentions were never pure, and that Dipper shouldn't care about him so sincerely, because he's not a guy who deserves it. And he feels guilty that Dipper cares about him, because he's found that he cares about Dipper.

Thank you so much!!! It is bringing me such joy to see such intense and genuine interest, even brainrot for my story, I am so so happy :)

[rosaliesea]

That's a pretty damn good way to go about. Does the thinking of warm thoughts lead you to feeling warmer? Ah, the added dog weight. Can't forget that one. You let that sweet baby snuggle with you, especially while it's still cool and it's not like having a mass heater sitting on top of you in the middle of the summer. Wayne is the worst snuggle buddy whenever summer hits. Perhaps I am, and what're you going to do about it? Glad to hear I was missed, even if it was just my brain. It is, after all, the best part of me. Hope you've got it drilled into your brain that if you and Bells try to up and move away from me again, I am actually packing myself in one of your bags. You guys cannot get rid of me, nor can you live so far away ever again. It's criminal. I knew you had your momma's genes, but I thought for sure your dad would catch up with you at some point. I love my grey, but damn is it a bummer that you're not right behind me, or just a full on salt and pepper kinda guy. You're supposed to stick with me, not make me look like the literal grandma of the group. The last time you did it was not funny. Still plotting my revenge. Haven't decided when or how yet, but it's coming, and if you dip my head under without any warning, said revenge will only be amplified. We might be grown ass adults but my streak for vengeance never left high school. Wouldn't the middle of not hot and not cold just be room temperature? 'Cause, don't get me wrong, room temp is nice and cozy. It's fair, sometimes she scares me, too. Mostly because I'll only ever be half the woman she is and she constantly leaves me in awe, like that time she absolutely nailed your ass with the balloons and nailed the perfect reaction photo. Which, by the way, gave me back like, five years of my life. You're welcome. It's always a tiny boost to my ego hearing that I am in the number one spot, but I've got to keep that up, JC. I can't slack off, lest you come in and take it away from me. She's my top ranking too, so we've got to keep up the mutual lovefest. Aw, shucks. That's adorable. I keep all the stuff your kiddos make me somewhere extra special and safe for the bad, rainy days. Wow, I'm associated with sandalwood? I'm flattered to be associated with a nice, solid scent. You're more of a fresh pine tree sorta guy in my mind. Lumber twins, if you will.

I swear what keeps me going is thinking of the island vibes when I walk outside. Oh, no. It's electric with the added weight of a dog. I think everytime we get it out she thinks it's her bed and just plops herself down on my chest. Starting to think that's Di being funny and telling Ginger to do it on purpose. That blanket serves its purpose. You're calling dibs on it next or what? You got me there! I had missed your quick wit. What was I doing so far away for so long. Poor judgment on my part. Could have been born without sanity to be honest. First of its kind thing. You really don't believe this is all natural? Been telling me that since I can remember. You saw my mom and how she had the super dark locks. Her genes were pretty strong. I'm just glad I didn't get my dads fast aging gene. He looked sixty when he was twenty. It's the water in Louisiana. Gonna have to dip your head in there next time we go. I do promise I won't throw you in there without warning you first. Even if the last time was really funny. Ah, but see. There's the added bonus of ice melting makes your lap cold and by the fireplace you're not as hot. You get in that nice and cozy middle of not hot and not cold. There's logic there. That's what scares me a little. Her surprises usually involve my ass getting hit with ice balloons which by the way, thank you for that! You do know that you can't top your own ranking of number one right? You already her top person. Even beat me out for that coveted top spot. She's gonna love that sweater. The one you gave her for her birthday she still wears to bed. It's not a bad smell to have linger. To me it reminds me of sandalwood which also reminds me of you for some reason.