#literally feel like this anytime i see tumblr live still on my dash

[notravian]

[runningdownthatroad]

I just have to get this off my chest after seeing some very disturbing posts about 9/11 floating around on my dash as well as some truly crude commentary. A lot probably won't agree with my sentiments but I feel like this needs to be said.

I've seen a lot of things on Tumblr in the past that maybe I consider to be in poor taste or don't agree with but I usually just scroll past, sometimes block for curating sake, but today is the first time I truly was shell-shocked. To see the memes and blasé jokes people are making about this day are just absolutely horrific and appalling.

I get that a lot of people on this site now may not remember what happened that day and only learned second hand through school or media or other people telling them. I get that a lot occurred after this that wasn't right which we definitely should be learning from. I also get that there is a lot of anti-American and anti-white sentiments going around currently, especially on this site.

But here's the thing:

Not only Americans died that day. Not only white people died that day. That's the thing about terrorists and what these hijackers did: they don't care about your skin color, your culture, your religious preference, your sexual orientation, your gender orientation, your age, your economic status, your personality, whether you support them or not, your political persuasion, your job, or any of it. Everyone is fair game to them. For crying out loud, look at what the Afghani people are currently going through and how the Taliban are treating their own country's people, women especially. If you think this is bad (which it truly is), have you seen how things went under their rule before 9/11 even happened? Do you know their terrifyingly violent and brutal history? Women had acid thrown in their faces if they didn't wear a full hijab. People were mutilated or executed if they didn't fall in line with the law of the Taliban. And this doesn't even begin to go into Al-Qaeda or Isis. But I'm not here to talk about that or delve into that topic too much.

My point in mentioning all of this is that white Americans weren't the only ones that were killed that day. People of all faiths, of all colors, of different countries, died that day, too. And the unity that is consistently discussed every 9/11 anniversary is in regards to us being aware of that fact, us mourning all of their losses together, and the collective desire to come together and help once the planes hit and after the towers collapsed.

So when people say "why am I supposed to cry over white Americans getting killed that day" think about that. Not only white Americans died that day. And regardless of their color, their nationality, their culture, their religion, etc. anyone dying is always sad. Whether it be a jetliner being used as a weapon that crashed into their floor or someone dying of cancer or someone being killed in a mudslide or someone dying in a car accident -- it is always sad. And empathy should always be shown in response, even if it doesn't impact you personally. Let's not forget these people have loved ones that got left behind, that are still here.

So when people say "if something knocks into a cow and knocks it over, I'm not expected to care, but if something knocks into a building and knocks it over, suddenly I'm supposed to care?" think about that. People aren't grieving two large pieces of steel architecture. People aren't saying "always remember those two towers". The WTC Towers were a symbol (yes, for American wealth, I get it) but became so much more of a multi-faceted powerful symbol after 9/11. The towers represent a way of life before 9/11 happened, but more importantly they represent the people lost that day, who were in the towers when they collapsed. For all of the first responders who were stuck on those floors still trying to help evacuate people to safety when the buildings finally gave. The two footprints and two blue lights aren't a symbol of American wealth or a naivete and simpler way of life pre-9/11 - they are a symbol of memorialization for that day. The Freedom Tower was erected to show that despite the loss of that day, we stood united (even if there seems to be more and more division these days). It's a message to the world that yes, destruction and death happened that day in NYC, but so did rebuilding and life carrying on. It's a symbol of strength, resilience, and unity - something that was everywhere you looked days after this event occurred. The two towers (aka NYC) may have gotten knocked down but the city got back up. They weren't kept down - that's the point of the Freedom Tower.

When people say "I don't understand, what is it that I shouldn't be forgetting since I can't remember it anyway" here is what we all should be remembering despite our age or our connection (or lack thereof) with this event:

2,997 innocent civilians died that day. Among them were 343 firefighters, 37 police officers, 23 Port Authority police officers, 8 EMS workers, and 4 other first responders. Also among them were 246 people on the four planes that crashed.

The passengers of United Flight 93 made a choice to fight back against the hijackers and saved lives that day by sacrificing their own.

Many children lost parents. Many parents lost children. Many brothers lost sisters, and many sisters lost brothers. Many spouses lost their significant others. Many lost friends, family, and loved ones.

For those who want a better connection to this day who didn't experience it and/or don't remember it, and for those others who are seriously lacking in empathy: yes, it was a highly publicized event due to the hundreds of cameras (including media outlets) watching that day, but if the horrific images aren't enough to garner some of your empathy, then there are plenty of other resources at your disposal. Documentaries like 9/11 by James Hanlon and the Naudet brothers, 102 Minutes That Changed America (which shows you not only all of the first-hand eyewitness accounts that day but also lets you hear 911 calls, radio transmissions between firefighters, and people's reactions to the event and each other who were there), 9/11 Firefighters (on Discovery Plus) and even more recently, 9/11: The Turning Point (on Netflix) which provides a 360 degree view of the events that led up to 9/11, 9/11 itself, and what came after, displaying all different viewpoints. You can read the 9/11 Commission Report or there are several books and memoirs out there like Wake-Up Call by Kristen Breitweiser, or even historical accounts in books, newspaper articles, and online. But most importantly, listen to people's stories. The ones who were there, the ones who saw it happen, the ones who ran in to help, the ones who lost loved ones. That is the most important part and the most powerful. On Hulu, ABC News ran segments of 9/11 Twenty Years Later, "Women Of Resilience" being especially powerful. It's hard not to feel a human connection to these stories or any kind of empathy.

For those who are making these jokes and memes, if you like shows like 9-1-1 and Chicago Fire, etc, imagine those first responder characters rushing into those buildings to save lives and losing theirs in the process. If you don't remember 9/11 or feel any connection or empathy, imagine hundreds of Bucks or Eddies or Bobbys or Hens or Chimneys dying that day as they worked to save so many. Sorry to be so blunt because I love those characters too, but do you get a little bit of the connection now? Do you feel any empathy? I'm not trying to equate real life heroes and sheroes with fictional characters of course, but if it helps you to understand a little better in some way, well...I'm throwing it out there.

I myself lived in the Tri-State area at the time of the attacks. I remember seeing the second plane seconds before it crashed into the second building. I remember the devastation I felt watching the first tower collapse knowing that a loved one was most likely inside and how hard I cried thinking he was dead. (thankfully, he had been late to work that day and he got out of the area before the towers came down) I remember the relief and gratefulness we all felt hearing from him to assure us that he was alive when he finally was able to get to a phone, stating he was covered in dust and ash from the buildings. I remember the panic and fear we all felt, thinking the world was ending and we were all going to die, that this was it, this was World War III, after it was confirmed that the Pentagon had also been hit and there was also a downed plane in Pennsylvania. I remember the grief another loved one suffered because she lost her entire floor (she had been out sick that day) and every single one of her co-workers. I remember the race to pick up children from school and get them home as soon as possible. I remember the rage that coursed through us seeing the footage of some people in certain countries celebrating the attacks in the streets, enjoying the deaths of so many Americans, a couple of these countries who lost citizens themselves in these attacks. I remember the camping out in front of the televisions night after night for a week straight afterwards, watching the news 24/7, worrying that there might be more attacks. I remember the feeling of sheer terror anytime a plane was heard overhead or seen appearing low enough in the sky that you could practically make out which airline it was for months afterwards. I remember seeing the lights the first time they were lit from our home. I remember feeling pure fear not only for what happened that day but also what came afterwards (not yet understanding that these weren't practitioners of Islam that did this but radical extremists who had literally hijacked the religion). I remember seeing the devastation at Ground Zero through a tear in the fabric over a fence as we walked through the city months afterwards. I remember not wanting to fly for years. I remember the anger I felt that our government had failed us due to political bs between agencies and countless others (which we found out especially when the 9/11 Commission Report came out) and that because of this horrific and absurd failure, thousands of innocent people had died. I remember seeing the crushed ladder truck, and the toy of the little girl who was on one of the planes at the 9/11 Memorial Museum and all of the pictures in that room that just floored me. (I also remember being pissed off that many were treating it as a selfie op where they were allowed to take pictures, completely missing the point of the museum's existence) But most of all, I remember feeling that life would never be the same for any of us ever again, and that the feeling of safety we had naively enjoyed on September 10, 2001 would never return.

But I also remember the compassion and unity we saw rising in the country after those attacks. I remember the gratitude for all of our first responders, those we lost that day and those who were still with us, actively working to recover those lost and to clear Ground Zero. I remember the feeling of collectiveness, that we all shared grief and showed support to one another in those days afterwards. I remember the fallen heroes and sheroes who ran into those buildings, who were off duty but raced from wherever they were that day to come and help. I remember The Man In the Red Bandana aka Welles Crowther (and many like him who worked to save others) who has become another important symbol of that day. I remember hearing all of the stories of people helping one another before and after the towers collapsed. I remember the good that this day represents. That while we may have seen some of the worst of humanity that day in the form of violence, death, weaponized airplanes, and devastation, we also saw the very best of humanity in the form of our first responders and people helping one another.

Look, did Islamophobia happen? Yes. Was it right? No, absolutely not. As I stated above, I myself feared the idea of the religion until I was educated by a friend of mine about the difference between the religion and extremism. This form of hijacking ideology can be seen in examples like the Westboro Baptist Church or even Hitler. Terrorists do not represent the true spirit of Islam no matter what the former tries to force people to believe. Just as the WBC is not the true spirit of Christianity, and so on and so forth. But even during the time I had feared the religion before gaining understanding and clarity, I never confronted or mistreated any practicing Muslim or Arab-American. Ever. I never posted hate or spewed vitriol against them. Just like with the current pandemic, I still cannot believe there are people out there attack Asian-Americans as if this whole thing is their fault. That's still mind boggling to me and it is absolutely 100% WRONG. It should not be happening. Same with Islamophobia. And it breaks my heart to read that many Arab-Americans and practicing Muslims still worry when this anniversary comes around that they may be attacked. It might not mean much, but I just want to say I am truly sorry for that and you have my full support. Always.

Did we go to war and was it just? Yes we did go to war. Was it just? Afghanistan? I need more information in order to have a fully-formed opinion but there are plenty who say yes and plenty who say no. Plenty who say we made things better over there (before we exited and the Taliban advanced) and plenty who say we didn't and only made it worse. I truly cannot say which assertion is correct and I think it would be narrow-minded and completely moronic (and possibly arrogant and presumptuous?) of me to speak on a subject I know so little about, one way or the other. Iraq? No, I don't think it was just and I honestly wish we could go back and do things differently.

But coming back to 9/11 and what this day means for so many, the people who died, the people who rushed headfirst into danger, the people who lost their loved ones. We saw incredible bravery, selflessness, and compassion for your fellow human that day despite what happened. We saw the strength within ourselves despite the fear and anger. We saw resilience. That is what the anniversary is meant to be a reminder of. The sacrifices, the loss, the courage, and the strength. Black, White, Gay, Straight, Christian, Muslim, Man, Woman, Young, Old -- it didn't matter. We all came together.

So regardless of whether it's the cool thing to do right now on this site (or elsewhere) to hate on America or 9/11 or white Americans or the anniversary itself on the very anniversary of these attacks, I ask that you please consider when posting these hurtful (and frankly harmful) words of hatred and vitriol such as referenced above that there are people out there who lost their loved ones on 9/11, that yes some of them may be on this very site and going through the 9/11 tag, and that some of them may have even lost a loved one in either war and are again on this site reading your words. Regardless of what you think or feel, please consider them and tag appropriately if you're going to post. Please consider that some of these people are currently losing their loved ones due to 9/11-related illnesses because of the cleanup at Ground Zero. Please consider that there are children who lost a parent or loved one, or who were orphaned that day (yes, they exist, we had some in our school district) who are also on this site reading your words. Basically, please just consider and be considerate. Please stop spreading hatred on a day that happened due to hatred; please stop perpetuating that cycle.

Like Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

TLDR: Love and light, my friends. Love and light. ✌️❤️

[boonki]

ask from the lovely @lynnpaper from these prompts! Sorry in advance for the long post, but I love talking about my writing!! ❤️

F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

So this is a little snippet from my college au from a chapter I haven’t posted yet (or edited yet, for that matter)- I just love writing Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s friendship so much and I think this captures their dynamic well (at least I hope so!): 

The small screen of Anakin’s laptop lights up the corner of his dorm room, a scary video game compilation playing on youtube. Ahsoka makes grabby hands for Anakin’s box of Cheez-its, and he reluctantly hands her the box, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. This has become their destressing ritual; Ahsoka always jokes that there’s nothing more relaxing than being scared shitless in a dark room at two am, and Anakin kind of has to agree. He does sleep better after watching Ahsoka lose her shit giggling and screaming for an hour.

The character onscreen makes their way through a nearly pitch black house, flashlight practically useless. Anakin’s stomach is clenched, a jump scare has to be coming soon.

Then, out of nowhere:

“So, are you going to ask him out?”

Anakin’s neck almost cracks, he snaps his head towards her so quickly. “What?”

She talks around a mouth of Cheez-its. “Oh, c’mon, you and Obi-wan. You clearly like him, and it sounds like he likes you too. So,” she shakes the box and shoves more into her mouth, giving herself chipmunk cheeks “you gon’ass’im?”

Anakin snatches the box out of her hands. “Absolutely not.”

Ahsoka sighs out of her nose and finishes chewing. “Why not? No-” she holds up a hand at his shriveling look “-hear me out. You really like him, Anakin. And I know we’ve never really talked about it, but I get the sense you’ve never really had a boyfriend before, and I don’t want you to pass this by just because you’re scared.”

Anakin is quiet for a moment, absentmindedly watching the video. “It’s not just that I’m scared. Well, I am, but it’s…” he shakes his head, grappling for the right words. Ahsoka watches him, patient. “Listen, my mom doesn’t know that I’m...that I like boys. And so I’ve never had the possibility of something working out with someone before, because I’ve always lived at home. And like, what if it works out and I fall in love with him, and then I lose him?” He closes his eyes at the emotion threatening tears, his honesty unlocking little bits of himself that he had neatly tucked away. “What if I fuck it all up? And the holidays are coming up and what if he wants to meet my family and what would I tell my mom? God, what if he doesn’t even like men and I’m just pining over someone I can’t have? Besides, why would he ever want someone like me?”

Ahsoka considers this all carefully, her lower lip pushed out in thought.

Anakin, eyes still closed, feels a sharp poke on his cheek: her finger. He startles, ready to admonish her, but she beats him to it.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

He looks down at the Cheez-it box. “I know, but-”

“And you deserve happiness, okay? Anakin, you deserve to be loved. I’m sorry that your mom doesn’t see eye to eye with you on this, but I’ll always love you and support you, no matter what, okay?” She reaches out and squeezes his bicep. “Go after him. You want this.”

Anakin can’t look at her, his eyes welling up in tears at her honesty, her love, her friendship. He is so lucky to have her.

She grabs the box back, takes a large handful into her mouth. “If you don’t ask him out, I’m gonna tell him about the time you farted when I cracked your back.”

He winces. “It was one time, please, let me forget.”

“Never. It smelled so bad.”

“I mean, I could probably go for one right now,” he presses on his stomach, and grins devilishly at her, “if we’re gonna talk about how bad they smell.”

Her eyebrows jump up, and so does she, racing for the door. “No, absolutely not, goodbye and goodnight, I am going home.”

“Come back, I’m kidding.” He’s laughing, deep belly laughs that are working to cleanse him of the sadness of their conversation.

She eyes him warily. “Pinky promise.”

He holds up his pinky. “Pinky promise.”

When she lifts her hand, he grabs her wrist and pulls her into his side, trapping her in a hug.

“Thank you, for, y’know...being my friend.” He mumbles into her hair while she squirms against him.

She stills. “Anytime, loser.” Her arms thread around his middle, hugging him back. He can smell the lingering Cheez-its on her breath. “I mean it, you deserve love.”

G - Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish! I usually outline in detail first and then sit down and actually do the writing. The only times I’ll write in advance is if a scene is really bugging to be written or I get sudden inspiration. Otherwise I confuse myself writing out of order- keeping track of all the details in a fic is really hard 😭

N - Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Oooh yes. There’s this living ship/pirate au that we’ve kicked around on the discord server I’m a part of and I have a vague outline out of it but I have so many other projects going on so I haven’t gotten to it! But I’m so excited for it! I love the premise so much. I wish someone else could write it out so I could just read it 😂

R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Most definitely! I can’t name names but every fic I read I pay attention to the style and prose and definitely get inspired by it and try to work it into my own writing! Lately I’ve been trying to get better at making sure there’s enough detail in a scene so it’s not all prose and dialogue, so I’ve been paying attention to that in fics. But if I’ve ever read your fic, you’ve influenced me in some way. 

U - Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

This is so hard!! There are so many good writers out there!! 

Off the top of my head: 

@sonderwalker writes great sickfics and hurt/comfort, she makes me literally uwu in my heart

@shatouto has beautiful, lyrical works that i adore

@intermundia - everything they write is gold. my god

@katierosefun has wonderful little prompts that make me smile every time they come across my dash! 

@jenjenpup her future in motion fic is one of my favorite right now! 

@unpheenix young and menace is going to be one of my all time favs 

lilyconrad on ao3 (anyone know their tumblr?) - i’ve read like everything theyve written 

@xeniaraven i love everything!!! so good!! i always want to scream in the comments after

WhiteMoose and Ripki on ao3 - wrote fucking beautiful novels for fun?? hello?? their fics are amazing 

and so many more omg literally all my friends on here are such talented writers that keep me on my toes! i feel like i have to keep up with them!! if you didn’t get mentioned please know that you should be on here, i just suck at remembering everyone (that’s what happens when you read like 453489 fics a day)

thank you for the ask my dear!! i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!! ❤️❤️❤️

[indimlights]

✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

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-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

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-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

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-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

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-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

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-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

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-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

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-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

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-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

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-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

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-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

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-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

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-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯  and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

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-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

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-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

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-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

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-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

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-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

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-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

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-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

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-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

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-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

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I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

[461lightfire]

Just some things I needed to talk about...

So… I really want to talk about this since I come across anon hate and hate or ungreatful people more often than I probably should.

A lot of my moots (I call y’all my moots because we more or less interact with each other :D) are getting hate for nothing. They just breathe and all they get is hate. Yeah sure, some of them also get positive comments from anons but that doesn’t mean that those hate anons aren’t there. 

I really don’t understand what’s wrong in someone’s head that this person have to be this mean and rude to different people. Like telling someone to kill themselves? Really? Y’all always preach about “mental health is so important” but none of you even dares to think about the mental health of others. When I joined Tumblr back in July 2019 and started my blog, there was nothing about hate. Everyone supported each other. 

By the time 2020 happened, I met a lot of super duper cute and super duper nice people. They all were happy in the beginning but slowly after I saw more and more anons hate them in their inbox, even told them to kill themselves. Like for real? You know that people with a lower mental stability tend to do such things? And that a lot of people struggle with these thoughts? What if that Tumblr user really does kill himself? Would you be happy? I bet not. You would have a bad conscience about it, maybe even guilt trip. That’s at least something I hope you do. Nonetheless, STOP doing this. It hurts people to read something like that and you never know what consequences it could have. 

Another point I want to talk about is people being impatient. Like don’t you have a life outside of Tumblr? I started doing rps with people back in October where I didn’t have a workplace. In January I had some job interviews and found a new job where I could start working at on Feb. 1st. So I updated y’all on this matter and TOLD my followers that I will hardly be on here since I started working again. I tried answering them when I had days off. But it is normal that someone DOES NOT WANT TO SPEND THEIR DAYS OFF ON TUMBLR ANSWERING RP ASKS. I can do what I want on Tumblr. If I’m NOT in the mood for answering asks, I am still allowed to scroll through my dash, liking and reblogging stuff, as well as answering asks that moots sent me. I can even post things if I have something I want to share. I always tried my best in answering your rps and I tried to do it as often as possible. When you had to wait a little longer doesn’t mean I forgot about the rp, It just meant that I wasn’t in the mood to answer. 

Then we had this one anon that had the audacity to call me out in a rude way and asked:

”r u gunna answer rp asks anytime soon or?”

This was just plain rude. But thanks for destroying the fun for everyone. I, myself, am a person with quite a weak mental stability. Reading those asks hurt me. They hurt because I more than often enough said that I am working and ain’t having much time for answering. I also always repeated that I try answering as soon as possible. I drifted off a little..  What I wanted to say.. Thanks to that anon I no longer have the will power and the motivation to write rps because I don’t see the necessity to always repeat myself and then getting hate for taking a little longer to answer than what they expect. So I will stop rping when I finished the ones I have still going. I’ll take a break and decide whether I start rping again or not because I don’t have the stability to ignore those comments. 

After all this negativity I want to say some cute things to my moots:

@mrbangchannie : You’re literally one of the first people I met on here and I really don’t want to miss you in my life anymore. I love you so much that words can’t even describe it. Like I always smile whenever you post or whenever you dm me. On the other hand, I am a bad friend since I barely write to you first and I always feel like I lack in socialising. But nonetheless, I will always talk to you in a way. I know that your time on here will be limited due to work but I hope that we still find ways to contact each other.

@channiesmixtape @particularemu @jisungsjheekies @backhugsforhyunjin @doubleknot42 @straykits : I found all of you basically at the same time because I was scrolling through the #stray kids imagines tag. I love all of you and y’all are really talented with writing. I really appreciate your works on my dash and I always look forward to your stories. I know I’m not always giving feedback on them but I try as much as possible. I Love you all. <3 

@bunnyminho : We barely know each other but I already can’t live without you. Is it weird to say that you basically mean the world to me? >.< (oh gosh I’m blushing again at these words). You know what I mean. ;)

All in all, I hope this whole stuff ends and everyone can have peace again. 

Also: Remember to wash hands, stay inside as much as possible and try to avoid socializing with friends. Call them via Discord, Skype, FaceTime whatever if you really need to see them and talk to them. But most importantly: STAY SAFE AND STAY HEALTHY!

XoXo,

Anna <3

PS.: Please don’t feel attacked if I didn’t tag you, I love y’all equally. <3

[ernmark]

it probably goes without saying, but i + literally everyone have been loving the vegas au, but don't feel pressured to get it out if you don't have the time! your writing is always a lovely surprise to see on my dash, anytime :)

I was able to salvage the chapter, but I won’t be able to fix the formatting until I’ve got access to Wi-Fi.

Thank you all for your patience. I would just like to reiterate how much I hate Tumblr’s mobile app.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | NSFW Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

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Even before Juno’s eyes open, he feels cold. Nureyev isn’t in bed beside him. 

For a moment he’s mad at himself for even noticing. God, they haven’t even been married two weeks yet, and he’s already fallen out of the habit of waking up alone. 

He blinks, and slowly shapes resolve in the dark. There’s someone in the corner, hunched over in an armchair in a pose so completely unlike Peter Nureyev that for a moment he jolts with panic. 

But no. No, it’s just Nureyev. Sitting there, unmoving, his elbows propped on his knees, his head hanging low. Even in the dark he looks haggard.

Juno wants to go to him. He wants to hold him and ask him what’s wrong, but the urge is somehow more terrifying than the thought of a stranger in this room with him. So he roughs his voice into something sardonic. “Let me guess: you want a divorce.”

Nureyev raises his head like it’s been dipped in cement, but his voice is light. “I just received the notification. Our marriage license has finally processed. We can put in the paperwork for that annulment now.”

Oh.

“Guess we can get back to our lives, then,” Juno says carefully. The thought shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. And maybe he can’t keep all that hurt out o his voice, because Nureyev adds with an edge:

“Unless you aren’t planning to let me go?”

It’s a joke. It’s just a joke. But Juno’s mind goes back to Diamond, to broken vows, to dreams that withered and died and rotted in his chest. He remembers the begging, the shouting, the bitter accusations, the tears.

It’s just a joke, but Juno answers him seriously. “No. I’m not going to do that to you.”

“Thank you for that,” Peter says, but courteously. Like he doesn’t fully believe him.

Maybe Juno’s just that obvious.

But it doesn’t matter. He’s not going to make a scene. He’s not going to try to force this– whatever this is– to keep on past its expiration date. Better to end things here and now, when they’re still sweet and good. A perfect moment frozen in glass. 

That’s all it’ll ever be.

——

Breakfast is a quiet, tense affair. Nureyev keeps looking around like he’s getting ready to make a break for it if Juno starts making a scene, so Juno takes care to be calmer, more steady, more polite than he would usually be this early. It doesn’t make this whole thing any less uncomfortable.

The tension lingers while they pack their things for the last time, as slowly the space goes from being the cozy, familiar, intimate place that it’s been into just another cold, sterile hotel room. 

They march to the government office as if it’s to their own execution. 

Honestly, after all of that, the endless reams of paperwork are a welcome distraction. It’s hard to focus on Nureyev when Juno’s having to parse a thousand documents for double negatives and complex legal jargon. 

It takes forever. But too soon, too fast, the last page slips under his fingertips, and he can’t find another. Nureyev is getting close to the end of his own stack.

Juno tells himself it’s okay to linger for a little bit longer. To sit there and take in the sight of his husband while he can still call him that. 

“Do you need my signature on any of those?” Nureyev asks lightly.

Juno swallows. “No. No, you’re fine.” Fuck. “I was just wondering if you wanted me to walk you to the spaceport after this.”

There’s a strange expression on Nureyev’s face. “Much as I appreciate the offer, Juno, I’ll have to decline. There are still some things I need to see to before I leave Venus.”

“Right. Yeah.” There’s nothing else to it, then, is there? Juno neatens his stack of papers and rises, glancing for the clerk. “Well… I hope the art business is good to you. It was– it was nice being your husband.”

He makes it all of three steps when Nureyev speaks up. “Are you really going to let me go?”

Juno hesitates. Why does he have to ask it so directly– like there’s a chance of just throwing these papers away and walking out with Nureyev like they belong together? He knows better than that. They both do.

“Nureyev–” He hesitates. He wants to say a thousand things, bitter and desperate and pleading. Instead his voice is sober. “One day you’re going to find someone who will love you the way you deserve. And you’re going to make each other so happy you won’t believe it.” 

And Juno won’t stand in the way of that.

[thetaylorfiles]

Hey, it's me again.

I have been going over everything that's happened since I made that post, from the hashtag to the accusations of me having infiltrated the Kaylordom purely to take down TTB (my God, that was the funniest thing I've read all month) but honestly, the grossest part of this was TTB using Andrea's health as a method of explaining why the "pivot" occurred. 

See, TTB and I were messaging before she blocked me, and she said something along the lines of how Spade's credibility will soon be proven and Taylor's had to pivot, and I responded with "you've been saying that for how many years now" and then she responded with this:

"Taylor has had to pivot for reasons we are all fully aware of. Shame on you for not recognizing her mom's health and SB2 devastation on her plans."

Now, my mother has cancer (she's in a very good place, she's recently started her radiotherapy and her surgery was successful), so this comment felt especially personal. I was honestly just disgusted that she would accuse me of pushing Andrea's health issues to the side, but even more so that she would use such a devastating tragedy to try and push her own agenda by using it as a reason as to why her BS has not been validated. 

Like, she said a lot of stuff to me, and most of it, I didn't care about, but knowing how much it hurts and how traumatic it is to have a loved one suffer through cancer, I was genuinely really upset at how willingly she would use literally anything to make excuses for her lies, including this. I just don't see how anyone could weaponize something so deeply personal against another person to further their own cause. I mean, unless she was personally informed that Taylor's coming out was delayed by Andrea's condition, she has no place telling anyone else that this is true. I don't think anyone, Kaylor or not, should be speculating about Andrea's health or determining what part of Taylor's life it has or hasn't impacted, because that isn't the business of anyone except the Swifts. 

So, for anyone who would like a testament to the true character of TTB, this is it. This woman will use other people's misfortunes to cover up the discrepancies in her narrow, ill-fitting narrative and it is so many levels wrong. I mean, anything else she said is water off a duck's back, anyone who thinks that multi-millionaires are paying people to harass a celesbian conspiracy theorist is laughable, but it was this statement that stung. 

I hope you don't mind me using your platform to vent about this, but I just didn't want my mentions filled with Kaylors defending her, because quite frankly, that's indefensible in my opinion, and it was truly the most hurtful comment I had received since I posted that opinion piece. 

——

Submission

——

Please feel free to use my blog as your platform anytime you’d like. Or if you want me to reblog, I’d be happy to. Just send me an ask asking me too. Sometimes it’s hard to check in on tumblr people or even my dash.

I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about your mom. And though I’m super glad she seems to have a good prognosis, I know how utterly and horrendously difficult and painful it is to go through a cancer scare/diagnosis/treatment with your loved one. It’s anxiety, it’s fear, it’s watching your loved one have her body ravaged to save herself. It’s never being able to fully trust that she’ll be fine and live to a nice old age because of relapses. It’s emotionally draining just to have that weight of worry on you while helping her. It’s so much more.

And though Ive never had a close loved one go through that, it’s not hard at all for me to imagine all the tough stuff you’re dealing with. And ttb clearly is too wrapped up in being the cult leader of a conspiracy too think of anyone other than herself.

So fuck that. That’s not cool at ALL to blame taylor not coming out (which she’s been predicting as imminent since 2015) on her mother’s Illness - which we know so very little about and I find to be disrespectful to even question it or use conjecture on it. TTB has no boundaries. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. And I’m sorry for what your family is going through. I’m sending you all hugs as hard as I can.

I still actually do get surprised at the depths TTB will plunge to in order to prove her fantasy correct. It’s gross. Just... gross.

[woozi]

henlo yza <3 ,

hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.

maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.

i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!

CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.

IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj

IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.

sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.

seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.

is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.

that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂

ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂

henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3

honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table

omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????

ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig

love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u

HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF

they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!

ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!

that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl

oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ

BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart

WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier

and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH

[caught-in-a-lie-blog1]

goodbye.

it was a good run.

i’m going on an indefinite hiatus from tumblr. if you want a detailed explanation as to why, you can read this post and i guess this one too. beware, though, they’re quite lengthy and detailed. i am bidding farewell to a very important part of my life so i felt it was necessary to get out all my emotions in order to move on.

i also apologize for making a lot of those situations about me when i wasn’t a part of them, but i can’t help my feelings. observing terrible things that happened to people i care about from afar has taken it’s toll on me. seeing people in pain and being unable to console them no matter how much you wish you could take their struggling away is some of the worst pain in itself.

despite ending on such a glum note, i cherish the time i had on this blog with all of you. it was wonderful and i’m glad i got to interact with such amazing people. it was a good stress reliever while my physical health kept deteriorating, and through the family issues that popped up in recent months. it was a fun way for me to share my content with others and bond over our favourite groups.

i’m so fond of everyone that decided to hit that follow button. it meant and still means the world to me. i appreciate every single person that took time out of their day to read my work, to send me asked, to reply to my posts, to support me. i will never will be able to fully express my gratitude. just know that i appreciate you so much.

i’d also like to mention some people.

@exoverdosed @mewchim @ktaebwi @army-baby-gzb @war-of-hormoan @dailydoseofdia @thestarsarejusthelicopters @bts-bap-trash @mylovejhs @everyonegetsmeaheartbeatcloser @rapmonamous @mygucciman @protectaetae @taecup @daematos @missbaptan @allbap @bangedhim @bbangception @hyunqvwon @monstalways @heonseoks @hellazelo @itsbap @freehoseoksdick @godsavemefrombts @yoongkitty @summertae @bulletproofwhalien @saintminyoongi @allbap @bruisedjin @velvethoseok @hijoonie @cursed-kpop-images @dearmyjimin @bluekyun @ask-bts-stuff @amazzjin @floralseokjin @byeoltan @boymeetsfiction @tayegi @kimdaily @jimlingss @sweaterpawsjimin @btssmutgalore @impossiblewriter @blondejeon @googlebts @jungkook-e @softjiminstan @hoodiejungkook @jungkoog @jheartseok @namjoon-be-my-friend @parkjiminbiased @j----nope @zephyoongist @literally-just-yoongi-trash @taesberet @drquinzelharleen @nochuie @jiminelli @kthyunngg @twentytaehyung @bang-tan @taesthetes

these are only a fraction of the blogs i wish to thank. you made my experience on tumblr so much better and i enjoyed having you all on my dash. seeing posts from you made me smile and i’m glad i was fortunate enough to stumble across your blogs.

my content will remain up save for my art which i have already deleted. and that is not an invitation to steal my work as i will be keeping an eye out for plagarizers. i will be leaving all my networks but this blog will stay up in case i ever feel like coming back. who knows, it could be in two days or when there’s a comeback i need to yell into the void about or maybe never. if ever, i don’t think it will be anytime soon. if any mutuals would like to keep contact with me, please message me and maybe we can exchange social media handles.

i’ve thought long and hard. i didn’t want to leave, i didn’t want to let go. i tried my hardest to detach myself from my doubts, but i also have to think about my own well being. i have to think about what’s best for me. this was my last resort but with all the progress i’ve made the past few months, i cannot sacrifice my mental health to stay on this site.

i wish you all the very best. i hope you all live relatively happy lives and work to achieve your goals. i’ll always be rooting for every one of you, even if i’m not on tumblr. again, if you would like to keep in touch, please message me. i’ll be here for another 48 hours before i log out for good. i will always love and cherish all of you.

i’m sorry it’s come to this. i will miss this space but i don’t want to be here anymore, at least not right now.

goodbye.

[jennyschectersghost]

What do you think about the March for Racial Justice being on Kippur?

...Yom Kippur, you mean? I think I have no idea what to make of this question from an anon, to be frank. And I'm sorry I've been sitting on it for so long. But I haven't had the time or energy, honestly. I mean, my dash was flooded with every angle of Discourse about this the other day, and it was mostly...Bad. Very Bad.

Like...I'm a non-black Jew. And I didn't wanna get too involved in a conversation that I'd think should have been led by Black Jews, ya know, and centered around their voices. There were a couple of Black Jews who expressed feeling deeply conflicted, and I can understand where they were coming from.

But I do feel, um, sad and embarrassed about the truly insensitive comments that some fellow non-black Jews made. Yikes. Like the casual comments about how it "could just be moved" or whatever, those were not okay. That was shitty. Jewish or not, Black people have every right to commemorate their murdered ancestors on the specific date they were murdered (or within the specific dates, as we all should in this country). I mean, especially as Jews, I'd think we should definitely understand and respect the value of that kind of commemoration.

And in a country built on the backs of Black slaves, where Black people are *currently* gunned down by police officers for no discernible reason, murdered in cold blood, it makes sense for a racial justice march to be scheduled on the anniversary of a state-sanctioned, anti-Black mass murder. It's a meaningful date, it wasn't picked arbitrarily and it certainly wasn't picked with the intention of excluding observant Jews.

At the same time, in even attempting to discuss the whole mess that unfolded here on tungle dot hell, I think it's also worth acknowledging that Jews for the most part are:

1. possibly extra On Guard and Reactionary right now (I know I am, lol, though I try to keep myself in check) and

2. honestly just flat-out used to having the ways in which white supremacy *can* affect (all of) us entirely ignored, casually overlooked or actively denied. By everyone. So that's almost become the expectation amongst a lot of us, I think.

And I guess there was some confusion about what this march is intended to be. I mean, people seemed to be assuming that it's meant to encompass broader issues of racial justice (and it totally is, as it turns out, but I'll get to that in a minute), or that it might even be a response to what happened in Charlottesville somehow (and it's not or wasn't intended to be anyway, though the organizers have acknowledged the relevance of recent events).

None of this is an excuse for insensitivity or any kind of anti-blackness, of course, especially not the confusion; it just goes to show you the importance of really looking into what it is you're even talking about in the first place, which all of us here on Tumblr seem to struggle with at one point or another, to varying degrees...lol... (I mean, I know I've done this once or twice in the past, like I've just been under the wrong impression in some way due to not really looking into the details beyond maybe reading some unsourced Tumblr posts or, like, maybe skimming one article...and I see it happen all the time.)

Because a lot of the ways in which this can be viewed really do depend on the context of intention. I mean, if the march was being organized *primarily* to commemorate the victims of the Elaine Massacre, to honor Black resistance during 1919 and to focus on contemporary Black issues specifically, then *any* commentary from non-black Jewish folks about our feelings regarding the date being on Yom Kippur would be, um, 100% uncalled for and 100% inappropriate for certain, even the commentary that wasn't particularly insensitive or crass. If the March *is* also meant to address racial justice in a much broader sense, however, then I do think these kinds of concerns are valid and should be voiced respectfully.

Just based on the statement released by its organizers, the march is in fact meant to encompass broader issues of racial justice! But! We should still keep in mind that it began as a response to the lack of justice for Philando Castile's murder, which was an act of anti-black police brutality---and given that fact, and given the fact that we live in a country where Black people generally can be murdered by law enforcement at any given time (often without the murderous law enforcement officers even being properly held accountable), and given the way Black people have been treated in this country literally since its inception right up to the present day---I think it still makes sense to center Black people in this kind of thing, you know, in a march for racial justice that does aim to include broader issues of racial justice as well.

And imho, their statement was very thoughtful. And insightful! The concern wasn't just brushed off; it was recognized. I don't know about anyone else, but seeing that meant a lot to me. I mean, I thought the organizers handled this really well, and they have my full support.

There are a number of reasons why I couldn't attend even if it wasn't on Yom Kippur (mainly that I'm nowhere near D.C., wouldn't be able to get there anytime soon and have two tiny people to worry about), but I will definitely be making some space to think of all the lives that were lost. And I will definitely be making some space to think of everyone who'll be marching, and I will definitely be making some space to pray for their safety.

[pearlsparable-archive]

[ Hi guys, it's me, hi, I'm Silas. So I was talking to donavenganza this morning and it made me realize that I'd been holding onto a mindset from dwrp that's not exactly applicable in tumblr rp. Basically what I've been doing is this: There are several people who, whenever I see them float across my dash, make me go, "Wow, I really super duper want to do more things with them. I know, I should send them a meme!" And then I don't. Because I feel guilty.

Because right now, as I live and breathe, I have 12 drafts from various people that I need to get to. And 14 other drafts that are all for forbroadside. You see, back when I was playing on dreamwidth (and Amanda has touched on this is much greater detail over here, definitely go and read it. Because you could replace her with me and Hector with Jack and it's 100% the same situation), you wouldn't be able to get any threads from anyone if you weren't playing in a game. Even on the specifically designated meme communities. But, in order to keep your place in the game, you needed to have proof of activity every month. Most games, as such, would make you prove that you had written 10 replies, all in one thread, over the course of that one single month. Replies from the month before would not qualify for activity. Some games would make you prove more than that. And so, lately, I've been stuck in this mindset of I need to get all of these drafts written and sent out before I do anything else that looks like fun. I haven't been rebloging memes. I haven't been sending anyone else memes. I've have gone around liking memes. It's very possible I liked a meme you threw up. It's because I told myself "I'll reblog this once I've done all my drafts." Because I feel like have to have this proof of activity. Because if I don't prove that I'm active enough, I'm scared no one will play with me. Because that's how things went on dreamwidth. I went to bed last night feeling sick with guilt because I didn't get a single reply done, despite putting up a message that I wouldn't be able to. That's how bad this is affecting me. dwrp is toxic in a lot of other ways too, ways that are still affecting me. That's why, when I reblogged that one meme that was something to the effect of "tell me something you like about my writing", I asked for crit in the tags, instead of letting it be. Because it's so Frowned Upon in the dwrp community to ask for validation and praise. Which is why I'm now hardwired to go "no, don't give me love, give me ways to improve." Because if you were seen as asking for validation (or "buttpats", as it was) too many times, there was The Fear that you would be namedropped on one of the anonymous communities. And if you were namedropped, then that was it, that was the end of roleplaying for you. I can't tell you how many times I went and checked to make sure I hadn't taken a step slightly out of line and gotten my name written up for everyone to see and make horrible comments about and drag me through the fucking mud. rp is my hobby, and it's one i greatly enjoy, but I lived every day with The Fear. I lived near six years with The Fear. I've only been on tumblr rp for a month. Less than, actually. But it's already so much more lively and open and freeing and kind and willing to do things. I've written more in the past three weeks than I have in the past two years. I literally can't tell you how goddamn refreshing it is to do something with someone and have a reply something other than, "lol what a silly pirate!" Like, I have a chance to develop actual relationships with people here. I have a chance to do threads with people who take Jack Sparrow seriously. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I could actually find someone, or multiple people, to ship Jack with. Because in the near six years I've been playing my boy, I've only had one person be willing to make a serious attempt at a ship with Jack. One person. Because anytime Jack tried to flirt with someone, he was met with amusement and subsequently brushed off. Like, I don't reblog any shippy memes because I've never even had a chance to even think about that side of Jack. Whenever I look over at Jack and ponder some of those questions, he just shrugs at me. But here, I could have ships. I could have Sparrabeth. This is the first chance in six goddamn years I could make an attempt at Sparrabeth. The most popular pairing this series has. And that's not to mention Jack and Angelica!!! Or Jack and Esmeralda. Or Jack and literally anyone else. So I just. Wanted to make this post as a blanket apology, for not being as active as I could have been. I wanted to make this as an explanation for why I'm this way. I wanted to make this to let you know that, now I'm aware of this, and I'm going to try hard to do better, I really will. But mostly I wanted to make this to thank everyone. Everyone on tumblr has been so kind and welcoming and amazing that I literally don't know how to deal with it or how to put it into words. It's overwhelming, in a surprisingly good way, and I could not have asked for a nicer group of people to throw my dumb boy at. So shoutout to you, for reading this. Shoutout to you if you follow me. Shoutout to you if we're mutuals. But mostly just. Shoutout to all of you, for being such a fucking fantastic group of people. I love you all. <3 <b>]

[bxebxee]

BTS Wings Tour 170323 (Newark Day 1) Fan Account

Okay, so here is a really long fan account of my experience at the BTS Concert on March 23rd, 2017 for the Wings Tour. I put this off for a couple of days because I was still not in the right mindset to write this all down. There are also links to all the fancams I took. 

Note about my ticket/seat: I was general admission P1+soundcheck. 

Soundcheck: 

Line for soundcheck: 

I don’t have a lot to say except staff was very strict when it came to filming. I was not going to risk getting kicked out, so I kept my phone out of sight. BTS performed Dope, Save Me, and Baepsae. They were playing and saying things like “please lower so-and-so’s microphone volume” but like most of the crowd didn’t understand it because it was in korean. it was cute. 

Also, i did a really stupid thing, but I knew if i didn’t do it I would regret it. During one of the quiet moments, I screamed “민윤기 멋져” at the top of my lungs. And literally there was no one else saying anything at that moment, so it was mortifying, but I had to do it. I have no idea if he heard or not, but i swear i saw a smirk. KEEP IN MIND that I could totally be projecting my hallucinations on him. Anyway, BTS looked so good without any (serious) makeup on. I don’t know if they were 100% barefaced, but they looked good REGARDLESS. I would refer you to @hobibliophile‘s great fan account for more details. 

Namjoon in a beanie and sunglasses saved my life. And Hoseok was so... HOT. He was the only one kind of getting into the dancing and I screamed so much. SO MUCH. 

They looked mad tired tho...

Main Concert: 

I’m exhausted as I type this. The post-concert depression is SO real. 

Before I really go into the main concert, I just wanted to say that for Newark Day 1, everyone was really supportive of each other. I didn’t see a ton of people pulled out of the pit (I only saw 2). And like while we were on line waiting for the concert, everyone was feeding each other ljfasdk. I basically had nothing on me, and everyone was like “DID YOU EAT? HAVE A COOKIE!” or “HAVE CANDY!” etc... 

Anyway, the ONLY time when it was a mess was when we were trying to get inside the venue, and then the Pushing(tm) began. Thankfully, I was sandwiched in between two people who smelled good, so no harm done lol. My friends and I were like... within the first several hundred people to get inside the venue, but by the time we got there, the extended pit crowd was way too heavy. We got a pretty okay spot by the sides of the extended stage, and it was a BARRICADE spot, so no real complaints. (Next time though, istg if I have to camp out to get front pit I guess that’s what I’ll have to do...) 

My spot: 

It was REAL FUCKING CLOSE TO THE STAGE. BARRICADE!

At around 7:59... they start playing Spring Day projected on the main white sheet pictured: 

(my fancam: right before the concert started)

And the lights dimmed after Spring Day played 2x. So you KNEW it was happening. If you notice, the white sheet is being held up by these little clip things. And BTS was behind that sheet!!!!!!!! THEY PULLED AWAY THAT SHEET AND THERE THEY FUCKING WERE.

They performed Not Today. (my fancams: Not Today [1, 2]

My memory is getting vague already, but they did some introduction comments (suga said: “SUGA IN THE HOUSE” and my friend captured me flipping the fuck out), and then jumped right into Baepsae. I was dying during Baepsae, but I did manage to capture the MOST pivotal moment of the performance (for me) HERE. 

I think after that, it was a vcr and some solo stages. This is out of order, but here are all the fancams of the solo stages that I captured: 

-Begin -First Love  -Awake

Honest to goodness... Jungkook is so GOOD at singing and dancing. Like... he’s UNREAL. He is SO STABLE, and his voice is just SO NICE. BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT RIGHT??!!?!? 

The best thing was that my friends and I didn’t really have overlapping biases, so we held each other’s spot anytime there was a solo stage. So when Yoongi’s stage was up they were like “GO” to me hahaha. @jatriciaapungg finally found her bias in hobi, and it was so cute. (Note: he was the ONLY solo stage that started in the extended stage, so she had to run ALL THE WAY BACK after securing a decent spot near the main stage. RIP but we got her to the barricade up front so that she could see properly. BUT OF COURSE IT HAD TO HAPPEN FOR HOBI.) 

Yoongi’s stage... what can I even say... I CRIED near the end. (only a little though because I was trying really hard not to be emotional) He’s so passionate and talented. There was an orchestral arrangement and the cello was beautiful. (He was beautiful.) 

I made a promise to myself that I would limit recording things because I wanted to experience the concert first hand instead of through a screen. But I was physically unable NOT to record Jin singing because he has such a beautiful voice, and Awake is my favorite solo song. 

This is so out of order, but I didn’t record Jimin’s, Namjoon’s, Taehyung’s, or Jhope’s solo stages because I was too absorbed in the performances. Jimin’s dance lines are UNREAL. How were Jimin stans even ALIVE standing near him for his LIE performance????? HOW??? 

Namjoon’s solo... my goodness... They had the phonebooth with a ton of writing/graffiti on it. @jatriciaapungg noticed LUST FOR LIFE written, and I wish I could’ve gotten a pic of that. That phonebooth was so aesthetic. Right before Namjoon started, there was this whale in the background and the crowd let out this collective “Awwwww” so it was nice to know we were all emo together. 

Our other friend (I’ll call her M because I’m not sure of her tumblr?) is a Taehyung stan, so we were like GOGOGOGO when Stigma was gonna start. And like... Taehyung’s outfit was so shiny. He’s so attractive, and his voice. omg. 

JHOOOPE. I have to tell you... Thursday night was ALL about Jhope. Everyone was so WIRED for Jhope. I loved it!!! I love seeing jhope get love you have no idea. He was the only one to start from the extended stage instead of the main stage, but when the dancers started walking over to get into position over at the extended stage it was a like a mad dash of this HUGE crowd of people over at the main stage to secure a decent spot over at the extended stage. This one super tall girl sort of pushed me out of the way, but she looked like she was having a good time jamming to her bias so I wasn’t too mad. I feel like we’re allowed to have those moments for our biases, yknow? 

Okay, so chronologically I’m blanking, but at some point Jimin, Taehyung, Seokjin, and Jungkook were already by the extended stage to get ready for Lost, and HERE THEY WERE:

My fancams for Lost: PART 1, PART 2 You have not LIVED if you have not heard Jin sing. He’s SO GOOD.  And Lost is such a good song omg. 

Then there was Save Me, which was so good. The crowd collectively LOST OUR MCFREAKIN MINDS when Jhope’s part came on. But let’s be real that’s like such an amazing part of the song. I apologize about me screaming when Namjoon came out for his part but he was SO ATTRACTIVE GODDD. 

I NEED U was next, and let me tell you I was so emo seeing this live. I never thought I would actually see them perform this live EVER. (short note: I NEED U was the song that made me really stop and listen to them and acknowledge that YES I liked them to bits. and HYYH came out at a pretty pivotal moment of my life, so by extension I fell in love with bts even more.) I welled up for this but no tears.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering about CYPHER PT 4, and yeah I have that whole thing recorded, so go check it out. Honestly, my heart was palpitating so much. And I wish that I was near the water, but it wasn’t meant to be. I still enjoyed the fck out of that performance. 

Everyone was HYPE for FIRE (part 1, part 2). They performed more for the front, but at my spot in line... I saw a lot of... butt... (im blushing ok. i never thought i’d actually bangtan’s butt LIVE okay!!!)

Here are some pics... (yoongi)

The medley was right after fire. Honestly, @jatriciaapungg‘s fancam for the medley was EVERYTHING. She and I were standing right next to each other, so her blessed fancam is exactly what I saw. 

My shaky medley fancams: A short break, No [part 1, part 2], No More Dream, Danger [part 1, part 2], Run [part 1, part 2]

Notes about the medley: I consider myself to be a mostly Yoongi bias, but I truly love all of them. ALL. Of. THEM. He wasn’t really on our side of the stage but do you know who was???? JHOPE, JIMIN, AND TAEHYUNG THATS WHO. 

Honest to goodness eye contact with Jimin was fucking fatal. And he changed his hair color to that soft brown that makes everyone nut. Taehyung was king of fanservice as expected, but Jimin was such a surprise. My heart was beating so fast because it wasn’t just once or twice that he came over to our end. And I lowkey (kind of sort of) think it’s because my friends were super pretty so make sure you go with pretty friends. 

Funny story about RUN. So towards the end of my fancams you’ll see me like rush towards the front when the boys move from the extension to the main stage. In my friend’s fancam, you can hear go “Unni Run! Gogogogogogo!” (and pls we’re both korean so don’t think we’re into that koreaboo shit lol). 

Right after RUN was 21st Century Girl [part 1, part 2]. They were so playful. Especially Jhope and Taehyung hahahaha. 

After that: Blood Sweat Tears. They had on these nice, expensive-looking blazers omg. 

Pretty stuff: confetti & rainbow ocean 

WINGS [part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4] I lost my fucking mind for WINGS. And maybe this is me being like annoying or whatever but I finally realized for WINGS that the crowd was kind of.... dead. Like we’re all in the front and stuff, and you can tell from my fancam that I was like v hype for it. TBH I wasn’t even paying attention to recording; I was jumping around and having a blast but everyone around me was so still wtf? Ah, it’s not up to me to dictate your own concert experience, but I really understood what people were saying regarding crowds being dead just to record stuff... Keep in mind though... that a lot of people who went to the thursday show were in really bad condition because of how cold wednesday night was...

(Almost ending picture)...

Ending Fancams: Short Break, Yoongi Ending Ment, 2! 3! (this is so short lol because I was SINGING lmao), Spring Day (Full), Almost Ending (everyone singing that last oh-oh-oh part of spring day. dont look at me i’m emo), Final Bows (this was supposed to be a picture but whatever), Saying Goodbye (feat. taehyung getting hit by a plushie), Jungkook Saying Goodbye, Jhope + Jimin Saying Goodbye, More Goodbyes, Yet More Goodbyes, Final Goodbye 

What an experience... There was so much DRAMA surrounding me going at all, but I’m so glad I went. And to have my first real concert be with BTS has been more memorable than you guys know...

Note about my videos: I feel like this should go without staying but, please do not post elsewhere without crediting. But probably some of you will do it anyway... (They’re not even that great of fancams so I’m not too mad.) 

Meet Ups: 

Honestly, I would not have been able to even GO at all if it weren’t for @jatriciaapungg. (The whole thing is a long story.) This was our third meeting, and I was SO HAPPY to get to go see BTS with her and her other friend. I couldn’t have asked for better concert buddies. And honestly we were so cute together. (IF YOU’RE READING THIS WE’RE GOING TO GO SEE BTS TOGETHER AGAIN!) Honestly, @jatriciaapungg is just super pretty on the inside and outside, and her fancams saved my LIFE.

I saw @hobibliophile a couple of times, but  both times we were in line or in a precious barricade spot, so we couldn’t really interact a lot hahaha. But it was great to see her and scream each other’s names from fifty feet away hahaha. 

Okay. So when I finally met bangtan bookclub babes @ohsuga and @triptaech I lost it. We made First Contact right before the concert started, but I got yelled at by security staff when I lingered for too long near a barricade thing separating seated sections from standing. But our real meeting was right after the concert ended, and we met in the cold outside. I tackled both of them in a hug. Let me tell you: they’re both super attractive and my heart was beating so fast because I finally got to meet some of the bookclub fam. We only spent like 20 minutes together because we were all going different directions, but they waited with me for my uber. I miss them already. 

Finally, I said hello to @versigny as I was leaving to go back home by train. (She’s so cute goodness gracious...) I think other writers were there with her too, but I had to leave and catch my train. 

[shadowcatgirl09]

Fic updates everywhere!

Damn that last time I did one of these was in December I think?? Wow. Okay so I finally have the motivation to do one of these again (didn’t think that was gonna ever happen.) I’ve mostly doing some writing here and there, reading (I’ve recently become obsessed with this ya trilogy called Num8ers, it’s really good), and been in a weird funk as of late. But I’m living off of the salt of my facebook timeline right now. Fair warning this will be long. So without further ado.

 First I’m getting @leianaberrie out of the way because my girl didn’t update not once but five times.

Original freaking Sin

Joshua, Grams, and Abby discussing locating and killing Kai. Please tell me they got that blood from Jo and not from Bonnie’s stomach. Poor Bonnie, that girl is in too deep right now. Poor nephew uncle Zach getting his memory wiped. Bonnie runs off to find Kai and leaves the necklace behind I’m like:

I should not be excited about this. I was right, it was a trap.

But at least they were reunited for a little while before all hell breaks loose.

I’ll Wed You In The Golden Summertime

Holy cow this story just became 10x more tolerable now that Damon’s ass is out of the picture! Shame he didn’t actually die though. So it’s all just a ploy. Okie dokie then, Bonnie’s a good actress. I know she’s pissed with her cousin, mom and the Gemini Coven and it’s supposed to be justified but my hatred of Damon just makes me look at Bonnie like:

He’s seriously not worth the trouble. Hmm but that BonKai sexual tension though.

I love how she just can’t get him out of her head (not that I blame her I mean it’s Kai.) I loved when Kai called her out on her hero complex. I never understood that myself actually, especially considering who she was mostly sacrificing for. But that’s a rant for another time. Bless you Jeremy for opening the floodgate of doubt! I mean Freya planted the seed but

I needed that. And then Nora out here giving Bonnie the truth. I loved that she would not betray Kai no matter what. All of my respect.

Bonnie’s devotion of Damon isn’t fucking natural fam. He treats her like shit repeatedly while she goes above and beyond for him. He only pulls through when it benefits him. Their relationship is so one-sided it’s downright disturbing. She needed to hear that. The fact that she couldn’t even counter back left me satisfied.

I thought Kol and Bonnie had an one-sided crush thing going on not a full ten day honey-moon like fling! Girl you could’ve had it aaallllll.

Of course we get to the end of the chapter where Damon does what Damon does best and that’s twist and manipulate facts in his favor.

And sadly Bonnie believes him because like the author’s note said the story wouldn’t be the way it is if she didn’t come to Damon biased conclusions. Le sigh.

Sweet Jesus! I’m barely finished when you update with another chapter! Omg how do you do it?

Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie, I get her anger, truly I do but Lucy has her cousin’s best interests at heart. Ugh it’s so conflicting! On one hand I want to feel bad for Bonnie because her family really wasn’t there for her when she needed them but her actions toward everyone got me like:

Her outburst at Liv was uncalled for. I’m glad Liv put her in her place. I wish they had let Lucy in on the plan. Man when she said what her favor was I was like:

I kinda had a feeling that’s what her favor was but actually hear her say it. I feel bad for Lucy.

So now Bonnie’s starting to slowly question everything. Bout damn time.

Ha she gonna make Damon explain.

“You mean he’ll tell you a more convincing lie.” 

I mean it’s what he does best. I can’t wait to see how fast Damon’s gonna throw her to the wolves when he finds out about Lucy’s favor (or what was her favor.) Please for the love of god Bonnie listen to Jeremy. That or make her go through something to see that Kol wasn’t lying. That little invisible letter trick was pretty cool. Ah so the traitors are slowly starting to show themselves.

Okay so is she gonna legit kill one of the Gemini or is she going to tell Kai that they contacted her? Now I’m anxious for the next chapter.

Long Shadows!

It was finally updated

Bonnie, Elena and Caroline just being friends hanging out like before all the bs happened

While I need more BonKai (I’ll get to that in a minute) I need more of that too. Cause the show don’t know what it’s doing with anything right now. My god Kai and Matt’s argument at the table. In fact that whole dinner was crazy fam. Rebekah attacking Kai (it was justified imo), Bonnie saving him, and of course all of the stuff the MF gang was out of the loop about had me like:

Matt was all types of disrespectful. I understand he had losses but so did his friends. Like Bonnie mentioned he still has family left. I’m gonna need Matt to just out right tell her has feelings because this is getting out of hand.

Okay I’m not gonna lie while I want to see Bonnie and Kai working together (but let’s be fair that’s not happening anytime soon) I’m actually more interested in whoever the traitor is. It’s playing out like a murder mystery and I gotta admit I’m more into that than the Heretic mess. Speaking of which props to Rebekah for wanting to help out the team, hopefully that goes well.

Alrighty first I just wanna say both Kai and Bonnie were in the wrong with the Heretic situation. Kai should’ve never brought them out no matter what he had in mind for them and Bonnie should’ve stayed out of his business. I understand where she was coming from but yeah the point still stands. Anyhoo~

At the same time I’m gonna need these two to have hot angry sex or something because the tension between these two in this story is ridiculous man. Like Kai legit has blue balls. I need an update for this one!

Safe Haven

@mysticfalls-originals Girl you hurting me here. My poor baby is suffering from nightmares again! Poor Bonnie is worried about him and he won’t admit something’s wrong making it worse by the day.

But when she got home and saw what Kai did I was like:

He bought her a thousand single stemmed roses and made her her favorite breakfast. Goals man goals.

Omg the Kai and Jeremy talk. “Your bar was raised pretty high when you knocked it down like a bad round of Jenga.”

Damn Kai. Okay I totally get why Jeremy doesn’t trust Kai really I do but the hypocrisy is real as Kai pointed out. Jeremy could’ve been the bigger man but eh he screwed himself over during that little convo. Hell that was the highlight of the chapter for me. I’m waiting on the next chapter to see how the party goes seeing as how she said the Gemini Coven is coming there.

I seriously love that crew, Cody in particular. Seriously this fic is the reason Theo Raeken is usually all over my dash.

Mundane

Oh how I wish that author of that fic had a tumblr, on that note I wish pennytree had one too.

Back to the subject at hand. They’re back to being friends like their friendship was never messed up in the first place!

No like seriously their friendship gives me life in this fic. Oh god Bonnie still has feelings but doesn’t know if they’re reciprocated.

Bonnie honey no, just suck it in and continue to be friends with him. Lol things are awkward with Connor now

I shouldn’t be laughing at that but it’s hard not to. Wait nope scratch that he played himself on that date, he had it coming. Kai’s going to England for the summer. Bonnie and me like:

Bon’s hella lonely now. I mean she counting days and crap. Her phone call with Kai gave me cavities. Ah good old Sheila knew just what to say, Bonnie needed to hear that. Rudy reveals he’s dating LILY SALVATORE. Bloody hell I don’t know how I feel about that one. I’m stuck between shock and ew. OMFG Jo no!

For the love of god stop messing with that boy! Your brother gonna wind up killing him.

Aww Kai booked an earlier flight back and wanted to surprise Bonnie.

Oh hell I thought the phone call gave me cavities. They really did the cheesy ass reunited at the airport hug. It was beautiful. I need a blood sugar pill now.

After that reunion there’s no way in hell there’s no mutual feelings there. Oh crap some classmates saw them together. Because this is a high school au this can go one of two ways. A. The girls are just hype they saw Kai or B. Rumors are about to be spread about Bonnie and Kai being a thing (it’s more than likely B.)

Subterfuge

@albion19 This fic is everything right now. No Damon just Bonnie and Kai in 1994.

I’m loving their friendship right now. Kai and his little slip ups that Bonnie’s catching on to. “I think we’re part of each other’s lives now. I’ll support you.”

But then I remember that this is a BonKai fic and Bonnie’s words are more than likely going to come back to bite her in the ass

Doing Time In Sedona

Joshua still a freaking creeper like:

I mean I wouldn’t mind Kai and Bonnie mixing bloodlines if you get my drift but the way Joshua goes on about it is just no. He literally marked off which Bennetts he could or could not use. The little Parkwood moment was cute.

Bonnie finally took the steps and kissed Kai!

My ass was waiting for that since he was introduced in the fic! Unfortunately she has to leave right after.

 Hopefully they’ll get to be reunited without to much trouble.

@jemicloisfan Damn girl you updating like leianaberrie!

I admit I’m still getting used to two things with her writing,

1. I’m not used to someone shipping Jeremy and Elena (at least she makes them not related sometimes) 

2. Her simplistic way of writing, it’s not bad, in fact I enjoy it because it’s quick to get through.

Red Blood

I never knew I needed a Werewolf!Kai au before. I love how everyone keeps commenting on the guyliner. Oh bloody hell I’m sensing a love triangle but knowing her work it’s gonna get shut down.

I love when she does that.

Safe In Your Arms

She got her memories back and is heading to Mystic Falls!

Kai stop it, try as you might you know damn well you ain’t moving on from Bonnie. Oohh so the siblings are going to work together to kill Daddy Parker or at least lock him up somewhere, good shit.

Damon attacks Jeremy out jealousy, Alaric blows him up I think (no seriously there was a denotar and stuff). Elena to Alaric “Please take out the trash.” Alaric takes Damon outside.

Me:

In light of episode 10 of this craptastic season I needed that.

Hate That I Love You

I’ll say it once, I’ll say it a thousand times; Two things I will never get tired of reading about in BonKai fics is jealous!Kai and daddy!Kai. In this story Kai has a little mini me running around that he didn’t know about (to be fair if he had stuck around he would’ve known.) After going through some arguments with Bonnie and making up he gets to see his son again. I was just:

The little boy is immediately attached to him, they’re building model planes together, and his son wants to grow a beard just like him. I’m a mess because it’s rare for Kai to have a little boy in fics.

The Beat of My Heart

BONJAKE! There seriously needs to be more fics of these two!

Anyway~

Damn even in an au crossover Bonnie still gets screwed over. The poor girl’s pregnant, the baby dad is a dead beat, and now she’s stuck in quarantine. Ugh Jake is such a sweetheart and their developing relationship is too adorable.

Okay look I’ve never watched Containment I just saw clips here and there; (I’ve seen the Tomorrow People and TVD, Julie’s crap is well yeah.) But I am enjoying what I’m seeing here and can’t wait for the next update.

Thinking of You

I’m not gonna lie I’m iffy about this because it’s based off of Pearl Harbor and couldn’t stand that movie. Of course I’m an open-minded person so I want to see how this story turns out. I will admit I’m liking what I’m seeing so far.

Regency

I should be ashamed because Enzo died recently but when Kai cut off his finger my ass was that above gif. I was feeling like Bonnie in that moment.

Damn Kai like omg, his obsession with Bonnie is real fam. He’s willing to jail his trusted advisors, get a divorce, and when the divorce doesn’t work he’ll kick his wife out. When he finds out Bonnie’s not a virgin is going to be hella interesting.

[elucidatingquestions]

About Me

I wrote this in fucking 2014...

Feb. 7th, 2014 at 1:38 AM

So I'm gonna just do a 100 question survey to give you an idea of the crazy you've stumbled upon.

Are you young at heart, or an old soul? Old soul

What makes someone a best friend? Someone who you don't have to finish a sentence with to get your point across. Someone who can look at you and tell whether you're having a bad/good day and behaves accordingly. Someone who lets you live in their basement when your family fucking sucks.

What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most?

Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life.  I feel like every thing which you digest visually, audioly (that's a word now), or even mentally changes your life in some way. You don't see life the same after seeing something you've never seen before. If you take any movie/song/show/play/book etc out of a life you'd see a big change in the person you're observing.

Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. I have really nice, thin wrists. It's hard to pick "just one" I don't like.

Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with? No. If I cut them out, I cut them out for a reason.

What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection? Emotional connection.

Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title. Inglorious Basterds. If you can't even bother spelling the word right, how can I expect you to do anything else right?

What holiday do you most look forward to? Christmas. Excuses to buy things for people. <3

How is the relationship between you and your parents? I haven't seen my father willingly in almost 4 years. I desperately try to cling to my mother, but she's a terrible person and I have had to come to terms with it.

You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on? Netflix.

Name a song that never fails to make you happy. I GOT A BOY - SNSD

You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him.  Rewrite because no. I don’t know anyone named Michael. Not personally.

Have you ever read the “missed connections” on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to? I read them for shits and giggles sometimes, I've never wanted to or posted one.

If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be? Japan, on Hokkaido somewhere.

Can money buy happiness? No. Money can buy things which lead to happiness though.

Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not? Occassionally (not very much), no, no. Because it's fun sometimes, because it's bad for you, because I don't like the idea of altering my perception or dying. Rewrite: Not really. Yup, it’s a crutch. Yup, I smoke weed because the pills stopped working.

Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names. Yup.

Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?  There was a forest near my home when I was very young. It had an actual playground which someone had built in it which we called "The Elven Playground", a lake, and a tree which had fallen in such a way it worked as a see-saw, we called it "The teeter-totter tree". It got bulldozed and cut down for a bunch of houses which no one lives in.

Have you ever spent a night in the hospital? Never a whole night, no.

Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people? One or two friends.

Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to? I listen to pretty much every type of music, so my parent's music falls into that category.

Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else? Yes I have been bullied. And I believe I've picked on people before, but not to the extent of bullying. I regret picking on people though.

If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Sushi.

If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship? Okay.

Do you believe in a god? I don't believe in "a" god. I believe in a whole slew of gods. I believe that any god can exist, and I do not deny others’ gods.

Of all the social networks in the world, why use Tumblr?  Rewrite: Because there are people here who have nowhere else to turn, and I want to help.

What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track? My dash.

Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?” Lower class.

Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended. Hannah Montana. Yeah. That's right. (Still right.)

Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial? No. My aunt (found out she was my grandmother) though, she used to just show up with shit from the shopping network. New things literally every day.

If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you? I don't have a car. I desperately want one so no.

If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say? I would go back to the me in 7th grade who stopped eating breakfast and lunch because my father said I was fat and say "Don't stop eating, you'll end up sick, you won't be able to exercise like you enjoy doing, you won't be happy, and you'll end up actually fat. Your father is WRONG."

What’s your “quirkiest” habit? I randomly say shit. In Japanese. Like full on: その車、何でそのことをしたんだ？When I could have just said "Why'd that car do that?", but it processed in Japanese faster. (spelling mistakes are funny I don’t write like that anymore)

What is “normal?” Are you normal? Normal is not defineable, but I'm certainly not it.

Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer? No. The person I automatically thought of (My Aunt who passed away a few years ago from breast cancer) would have hated to know others would die in her stead even if they were strangers. I'd never do that to her.

What is one thing you could never forgive? Lying. Blatent lying and not feeling any remorse for it.

Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single? It depends. Some relationships can be happy and wonderful after the honeymoon period ends, but if it wasn't happy I wouldn't want to be in it.

Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends? Only if the guy/girl is a entitled piece of shit. :) YOU KNOW WHAT PAST ME?! DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT?! 

Where do you and your friends go to hang out? Home.

Write the first paragraph of your obituary. She fucking died sitting in a chair writing her OWN obituary and listening to California Girls. Who the hell does that? Well at least her brothers and sisters can live on forever. Sucks. She was going to Japan in the fall, finally. (hmmm. Well, that happened.)

What is the best TV theme song ever? POKEMON

When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up? I thought I would magically move to Japan when I was 18 and be a supa kuwai person in Japan-land also known as ANIME WORLD which isn't even a place so I was on crack.

When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked? In my room. Would if I had my own house.

What gets you out of bed in the morning? Me. I'm usually in a lot of pain, really tired, really stiff, and I have to say "Fuck it" and drag myself out of bed.

Do you want to have more friends than you have right now? I have one IRL friend right now? So yeah.

What part of the past year sticks out in your mind? Me telling my step siblings where to shove it and moving out on my own while simultaneously making my Japanese teacher so proud of me he keeps trying to send me to Japan.

You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job? I don't have a job yet, but I think I'd still do it. I really want to teach English.

Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work? No. I tried it way too many times and I can't.

What’s the best route to your heart? Honesty, integrity, and kindness.

Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life? Yes. Only one person. She was amazing, my fiance, and I loved her to pieces. I still love her, but we're not in a relationship anymore.

What is your favorite sport? Hockey/Figure Skating

What has been troubling you lately? People. Tumblr. I'm so tired of the shit that goes on there. They're usually okay, but lately all I've been seeing is people literally telling people to die, or how terrible they are, because they're a sexuality, a gender, or a race. It makes me sick. But people don't listen to other people when they protest it, they just turn their animosity onto the nay-sayers.

Did you enjoy your high school prom? If you haven’t gotten there yet, do you look forward to it? If you didn’t go, why not? I didn't. I sometimes wish I had, but all I would have done is dress up nice and be alone for an entire evening. I really would have loved to dress up though.

What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning? Intuition

Do you know what makes you happy? My room. My dolls. My snugglies. My books.

Tell me about the last book you read. I've been reading the Divergent trilogy. I absolutely love it. It's about this girl who's apparently Divergent. She spends books 1+2 trying to figure out what that is while trying not to get killed in this post-apocalyptic faction-style city. She spends book 3 weeding through crappy lies and secrets to the truth.

What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? Anytime someone tells me I'm a good person or that I'm doing something right I feel really happy, because I spent so much time when I was younger hearing how terrible I was.

Who was your first crush? This kid who I knew in pre-school named Peter. Our parents used to joke that we'd get married.

Do you believe that there is life on other planets? There are literally billions of other star systems in the universe, never mind there are probably other universes parallel or not to this one, if I didn't think there was life on other planets I'd be stupid.

Predict what your life will look like a year from now. Japan.

Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began. Hetalia.

Where is your favorite place to go out and eat? Azuma Sushi.

What is something you want to change about your current situation? Money. Halp.

Early bird or night owl? Night.

Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to? Mostly stuffed animals. Also my Lion King blanket. It's still on my bed.

Give me an unpopular opinion you have. Straights are not "boring". “Whites” do have ethnicity. Men are not evil.

What was the last song that was stuck in your head? Hyde - VIXX

Where do you live? Be as general or specific as you want. Sooke, BC, Canada.

Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation? Absolutely. The most wonderful moment of my High School life was in grade 9 when I helped with the ESL students and I got a community participation award. It made me want to be an English teacher even more. I've stuck to it ever since.

What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken? It was almost 10 hours I think. I was REALLY young. It was from Prince George to Victoria, so iunno google it.

Have you ever taken part in a protest? Online only. Protests in real life scare me because I have a fear of crowds.

Would you ever use an online dating service? I've tried them and they're not for me.

What is your ethnic heritage? My entire family is from Wales (even my adopted family). My mum's grand mother and my dad's grand parents literally lived on opposite sides of a hill. My dad's grandparents ended up in England somehow. My mum's grandparents ended up as debt slaves and got deported from Wales to Canada where they lived in Alberta before coming to Vancouver Island.

Describe a person that inspires you. I don't really have much inspiration. I don't like putting people on pedistals because I don't like being disappointed.

If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you? No. I wouldn't be able to live. If I worked minimum wage in Japan I'd be getting around $8/hr and there isn't actually a minimum wage over there.

Do you believe in luck? If luck exists I have some shitty ass luck.

Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. Today. When some asshole tried to tell me what to do.

Do you want to live until you’re 100? No.

Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change? Yes. You don't always keep relationships when you change, but if you both change in the right ways relationships can end up stronger. It's sort of up to chance.

Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them? Yes.

Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends? Alone.

Do you practice what you preach? I try. I try really damn hard. Sometimes I catch myself, when I do I repent.

If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly? I take precautions.

What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence? Depends. If they're attractive, stupid, but have a good heart and an open mind, then attractiveness, but if they're intelligent, open minded, and good hearted, then intelligence. XD

Are you hard-headed? Like granite. Even if you drop me on the floor I just break into two solid pieces. (YOU KNOW WHAT PAST ME?! YOU KNOW WHAT?!)

Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate? Oh yes.

When have you felt most alive? Usually when a song has a opening that starts out slow and blows up, like Firework by Katy Perry.

Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains? The countryside/mountains/valley.

Do you often skip breakfast? I don't anymore.

How do you know what true love is? Some people get it, some people don't. I'm sure there's a "feeling" or something, but I don't know it yet.

Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die? No.

Where is “home” for you? Right where I am. My adopted family is across the street, my sister and her husband are upstairs. I have all my dollies with me. I'm in Sooke.

What song best describes your life right now? Roar.

Do you want to be perfect? No, too much pressure to maintain it.

What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? What’s holding you back? Writing a book. My brain.

How do you express your creativity? Writing, singing, and drawing.

Describe your neighborhood. I live in a co-op, so there's like this key shaped road and about 15 townhouses all in this little fenced area. Trees and stuff.

Name something you only liked because it was popular. Usually I work the other way. I literally cannot think of something I liked because it was popular.

Give me the story of your life in six words. Born. Poor. Abuse. Sick. Cage. Key.