#literally drove all day today my back HURTS

[vertejay]

Guys in the time I’ve been afk, I’ve gotten blue lock nails (more specifically sae itoshi) and a tattoo. 🧘‍♀️

[readymades2002]

IM TIRED OF WORKING

[milo-is-rambling]

Oh okay yes this explains a lot actually

[seungfl0wer]

*Hyunjin Calling You Clingy*

Paring: Hyunjin x Reader (GN)

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Arguing, Cursing, Op Accidentally Punches Hyune in the nose, Blood Mentions, Not Proofread

This is part of a series find the others here:

Bangchan, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

-🩵

Today was a rough day for your boyfriend or so you heard. Walking into the dorms Han was leaving to go get food when he smiled at you “ah y/n good thing you’re here Hyunjins in a bad mood, maybe you can make him feel better” he said as he put on his jacket. “Why? What happened?” You asked surprise because he hadn’t said anything about it. “Oh you know choreograph not going well, he also got into a small argument with Changbin about it so it’s not going to well.” He said as he opened the door to leave. “I’ll try my best” you salute standing there him laughing as he left.

You made your way to his room knocking not wanting to barge in when he was already upset “what!” He said loudly “Jinnie it’s me!” You said trying to put on the happiest voice you could. You could hear him sighing as he came to the door unlocking it he walked back to what he was doing not even greeting you at the door.

“Hi baby” you said with a sickening sweet smile. “Hi” is all he said back his voice a bit cold as he continued to paint. “Ooh whatcha painting?” You asked moving behind him to watch. To you, you were just watching him to him, it felt like you were hovering over. “Can you not stand so close?” He said moving his chair up a bit. Your eyebrows raised a bit “mhm” you said moving back sitting on the bed now.

“I’ve missed you!” You said smiling behind him. He didn’t say anything just “mmhm” to your words. You felt your heart become a bit heavy, feeling bad for him but also now bad you bothered him. You sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke “so why are you here?” His tone coming off as annoyed.

“Oh uh.. just missed you.” Your voice trailing off at how he was being towards you. “You literally see me all the time.” He said rolling his eyes even though you couldn’t see it. “Yeah well I can still miss you haven’t see you at all today” you huffed from behind him. “and?” He said blankly “what do you mean and??” You questioned your voice becoming more aggressive. “And? Like why’s it such a bad thing not to see me? Why do you always have to be clingy and come in my personal space when I didn’t even ask you to.” His words hurt as they came out digging deeply into you.

“Did you really just call me clingy? Me? The one that tries giving you space and then you whine I’m not paying attention to you?” He argued back. “I don’t care how shitty your day was today why the fuck are you taking it out on me!” You continued making Hyune stop painting he turned his body to face you face red “My day was shit yeah, and all I wanted to do is come home and paint. I wanted to relax, cool down and do something I loved but no I’m forced to sit here listening to you bitch and complain.” His words were hot like lava spewing out of him like a volcano.

“Ive literally only said I fucking missed you, you asshole!” You said getting up. As you got up hyunjin went to move hitting the table he was working on and spilling the water all over his painting. His eyes went wide anger overcoming him “See what you fucking do! You fucking ruin everything!” He screamed at you now you could see tears start to fall down his cheek as he yelled. “Go home y/n! I don’t want to see you for a while!” He said his anger now turning into sobs.

He was so overwhelmed and stressed he just broke down. “Hyune..” you said softly reaching out for him “please.. just leave me alone right now.. I just want to be alone..” he said his voice cracking as he sobbed into his hands. “If.. if you do need me.. you know where I’m at..” you said getting up to leave to room. You ended up seeing Han as you got into your car your face saying everything about what had happened he could only give you a sad smile and wave as you drove back to your house.

It was about 2AM when you felt your bed dip down a bit, startled you jolted up punching whoever was there straight in the nose. “AH Fuck!” The familiar voice shrieked. You quickly turned on your bed side light to see your boyfriend there holding his now bleeding nose “Oh my fucking jinnie im so sorry!” You said your hands stuttering as you go to touch. “Honestly don’t be sorry after how I was today I deserved that.” He said getting up to head to your bathroom.

You followed him “don’t say that no matter how much we argue I’ll never think hitting you would solve things” you said grabbing a tissue to wipe his lips now stained with blood. You helped clean him up his eyes never meeting yours, he quickly grabbed your hand that was on his face looking up at you. “Y/n listen- im sorry for what I said it was out of anger.”

You nod “yeah no shit” your tone almost teasing “im being serious I know it’s not an excuse but everything just came crashing down and you coming over when I really needed time to clear my head just- made it worse im sorry i really am though.” He blabbed on. “They say you say things you’re to afraid of saying when your angry.” You said grabbing another tissue his nose still bleeding.

“No really y/n I-“ you cut him off “no Jinnie I get it really.. I am clingy and I do fuck things up a lot no biggie” you nonchalant words making his heart break “y/n your not-“ he tried you cutting him off again “listen.. you’re gonna say no and you didn’t mean it but the fact of the matter is I am clingy hyune I know I am. It’s something I’m gonna have to work on. However you’re gonna have to work on talking to me and communicating things. Tell me when you wanna be left alone before you get angry or just tell me through texts like ‘hey don’t come over it’s me time’ something hyune” you rambled.

He looked up at you “I am sorry for what I said though.. I’m sorry for hurting you.” He said his voice sounding almost strained. You shrug at his response “nothing we can do now, but i think I’ll start giving you more space. Maybe work on me as I do.” You said moving your body. “Your nose is all good.”

He stood up looking in the mirror “you got me really good” he said with a soft chuckle “yeah remember that when you wanna fight again.” You teased throwing up your fists. “Yeah yeah” he said wrapping his arms around you “can we go cuddle and maybe talk a bit?” He asked his voice soft, you nod before he lets you go. “But first” he said taking out a painting he had in his backpack. “This is for you.” He said handing you a pretty painting of flowers in a meadow. “Hyune” you said smiling at it “do you remember that place?” He asked tilting his head “it’s the place I took you to when I asked you to be mine.” He said kissing your forehead. “You might annoy me at times but you’ll always be my muse.” He said fluffing your hair.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[onlyhaos]

thinking abt being cheols passenger princess rn :p controlling the music and just being cute 😌

I’ve been learning and learning, so sorry that I was literally dead. (due to so much learning I literally have a writing block) this is literally so cute 🥹 let‘s get to it !!

— ౨ৎ

bf!Cheol who picks you up from work every day. Even if he has work again after, he‘ll always try to come and pick you up. Dropping you off at home, kissing you, and then leaving for work again.

“Hey baby” Seungcheol waved, so you’d see him, standing at the car in that classy outfit that you always loved. “Hey, love” You smiled, feeling your man’s lips press onto your forehead, the second you get close to him, as a greeting. Getting in, you’re ready to tell your lover all about your work day, waiting for him to also talk about his, which sadly wasn’t over yet. So when you feel yourself getting fully caught up in the wholesome conversation, you were already in your driveway. Seeing you sulk, Seungcheol began talking with his signature pout. “Baby don’t look at me like that, y’know I have to leave for work again, but I'll be back soon. And I'll also come with a small surprise.” He kissed you, stroking your cheek, which made you smile at him brightly. “Okaaay, I love you, come back home safe later” You smiled, watching your lover getting into the car again. “I love you, too, baby. And will do” Cheol said, waving you goodbye as he drove off again. And in the evening, when your handsome man rings at the doorbell, you're so happy to finally see him. But the first thing you see isn't him, it's the pretty bouquet of flowers that stand in front of his pretty face. It's the kind of bouquet you talked about to Seungcheol. With a sweet smile and a small kiss, you tell your lover to come inside, praising him for being so attentive.

— ౨ৎ

bf!Cheol who always has comfy socks or/and shoes in the backseat. So when you come out of the building, fully exhausted and feet hurting from your heels, he‘s quick to hand you everything you need for even just a bit of comfort.

Sighing loudly, you finally rested in the pre-heated seat of your boyfriend’s car. A whine escaping you, as you, softly, 'complained' “My feet hurt soooo bad” , only waiting for Cheol to get your comfortable sneakers out the backseat. “Are your feet cold too?” Seungcheol asked, looking at you as he bent back to grab the shoes. Seeing you nodding with a humming, quietly, he made sure to also grab your fluffy socks. Handing them to you, he paid attention to you putting on your socks. “Need help, dear?” Your lover asked as he still held your shoes, patiently waiting for you to finish putting on your socks. “Mhm, I don't think I'll be able to get my shoe on, it’s too tight in the passenger seat, and I can barely put on my socks already.” You said, laughing. But before your laugh stopped, Cheol already lifted your legs gently over the console and put on your shoes for you.

— ౨ৎ

bf!Cheol who always lets you control the music. Handing you his phone so you don‘t have to fish yours out and opening the shared playlist that you both always listen to. Every and anywhere.

''You know, when I was at work today, listening to our playlist and this 'songs you might like' thingy, I found a new song. It's really pretty!'' You spoke, happily. Making the man next to you smile. ''Oh, really?'' He said with a small chuckle. ''Do you want to listen to it?'' Cheol asked, ready to get his phone out already. So before you could answer, your boyfriend already handed you his phone. With a quick look at his camera, the phone immediately unlocked. Because, who would've thought, your face was also registered as his face ID. Opening the music app, you searched for the new song you heard today, and began playing it. Listening to it, Seungcheol began speaking, ''It's a really pretty song, my baby, but you do know that you can just connect the phone to the car, then you can enjoy it a bit louder, hm?'' He said, gently as he smiled.

— ౨ৎ

bf!Cheol who always asks you if you want to go and eat out or if you just want some quick takeaway, in case you’re too exhausted to cook for yourself and him.

''Any ideas on what we could make for dinner today?'' Seungcheol asked as you both were driving home from your exhausting work day. ''Not yet, but I'm also not feeling like cooking today, and I don't want you to cook alone.'' You said, feeling a bit guilty for showing your exhaustive self in front of your also hardworking boyfriend. ''That's totally fine, baby. But if we won't cook today, any ideas on where we could eat out? It's friday, we could go out and have a nice dinner together. We deserve it.'' He chuckled, as his hand found it's way to your thigh. ''I saw a new restaurant that I wanted to try with you, they have a nice wine and also very tasty beer. Would you like to go and check it out today, or will it be our standard restaurant?'' You spoke, your hand sneaking up to rest on his. ''Sure, why don't we try something new today. We can go home first, make the reservation, freshen up a bit and then have a nice dinner together.'' He spoke, happily. Not being able to say no to such a nice plan, you agree to it, already feeling excited. As if it was the first time that you and Seungcheol went out for a date.

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Slutmas Day 6

Stressed & Insecure (Matt)

Request: None

Warnings: Mommy kink, talk of poor mental heath, angsty at first, Matt being insecure, talk of body dysmorphia, friends to lovers, cockwarming, oral, whiny Matt

“You’re such a good boy for letting mommy take care of you like this”

Matt’s pov

Everything sucks right now, I’m so busy with work, it’s taking up all of my time, and everything going on right now backs up to that. I was purely stressed from work originally, which I know might seem easy, but don’t be fooled because it’s not. We’ve had so many meetings for sponsored content, videos, guest appearances, and merch designing, on top of filming for our YouTube and the Podcast. I’m genuinely just drained, my anxiety is high, I can’t sleep, and I’m overall in a bad mood.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘why not just jack off?’ well that’s because I can’t. I guess with being stressed and overwhelmed by everything, my cock just won’t get hard. It probably doesn’t help that my body is constantly getting hated on because of my weight, it makes me really insecure and uncomfortable with myself and my body. I was sitting at my desk doing some more online work and it was pissing me off, I’m so frustrated! I’m just doing so much overthinking and it’s making me stressed, overwhelmed, and insecure.

Just as I threw my notebook across the room there was a small knock and Chris popped his head in. “Matt, are you alright? Do you need anything?” Chris asked, knowing I wasn’t in the best mental state. “I’m fine, I just want to be alone” I sighed back, “Are you still coming to Larray’s house with us tonight?” I completely forgot about that. Chris looked a bit disappointed by my answer but he understood, “Nah I’m just gonna stay here, ‘m stressed and overwhelmed right now so I won’t be any fun” I said before Chris closed the door.

That was my insecurities talking, I always found myself rather boring and unenthusiastic when I’m in these moods. It had been about an hour of trying to get hard and then sitting in my chair with my head in my hands. My door slowly creeped open and I immediately assumed it was Chris or Nick. “Get the fuck out of my room!” I yelled, turning around to be met with my best friends confused face. “I’m sorry, Chris said they were leaving and I should come keep you company because you’re having a bad day. I didn’t mean to make you upset” Y/n said quite nervously. I slammed my fist down on my desk before completely losing it, hot tears rolling down my face.

1 hour earlier

Y/n’s pov

I was at a nail appointment when I got a text message, I was already done with my fingers and in the chair for my toes.

iMessage start at 5:02pm

Chrisizzle🍊

bro are you busy

Y/n/n🪼

i’m getting my toes done rn

why

Chrisizzle🍊

at 5:30 me and nick are going to larray’s for the night

so i wanted to ask you a favor

yk how matt’s been kinda moody lately?

well today he’s really stressed and sad so he’s in a bad mood and i don’t want him to be alone tonight so can you head over afterwards and chill with him?

Y/n/n🪼

you literally just set up a playdate for your child lmao

but yeah i’ll go over there, i’ve missed my matty poo

Chrisizzle🍊

wow but you don’t miss me

that one hurt Y/n/n 🥲

anyways lmk when you get to our house bc we leave in 15

Y/n/n🪼

awe of course i miss you too sizzle 🤍

i’m abt to pay then I’ll head over

Chrisizzle🍊

don’t call me sizzle

*Y/n/n🪼 disliked this message*

iMessage ends at 5:37pm

The message had been from one of my best friends, Chris, he asked if I would go hang with his triplet bother, Matt, for tonight. I know he’s been getting a lot of hate about his attitude/weight and has been down the past 2 or 3 weeks, so I was hoping to cheer him up. I drove directly to the boys house after paying for my nails since I had a bunch of essentials over there and didn’t need anything from home.

I let myself in with my key and walked up to Matt’s room, which groans of frustration could be heard coming from. I lightly knocked before entering his room, as I was reclosing the door Matt yelled. “Get the fuck out of my room!” he said angrily, Matt’s never yelled at me before and he looked so pissed off that I got a little nervous.

I quickly replied with “I’m sorry, Chris said they were leaving and I should come keep you company because you’re having a bad day. I didn’t mean to make you upset” he looked at me for a second before I saw his face change to one of pain, hurt, and anxiety. Matt slammed his fist onto his desk yelling “Fuck!” before choking out into sobs.

His whole body was shaking and he slid out of his chair onto the floor, something he does when he’s really, really upset. I immediately ran over to sit next to him, wrapping my arms around his shaking figure. “I’m sorry! They hate me and I’m sorry!” he blurted out, causing me to be a bit confused as Matt’s hands desperately clung onto my shirt.

“It’s okay Matt, let it all out. You’re safe honey, I’ve got you-“ I was cut off by Matt pulling away from my shirt and basically screamed out in pain. “I don’t know what the fuck I did! Y/n, what’s wrong with me!? A-Am I not good enough!? I’m too skinny, I try to eat more but I can’t gain weight, I fucking hate my body! All I keep doing is disappointing everyone, Y/n I-I don-“ he started spiraling into a panic attack and I was worried, I have never seen Matt this bad before.

I didn’t know what else to do so I pushed past my own anxieties and kissed him. I cupped both of his cheeks and smashed our lips together, Matt was shocked at first so he didn’t kiss back but once he realized what was happening, he kissed back. I pulled away and Matt’s lips tried to chase mine before he opened his eye.

“W-What was that for?” he asked, a bit breathless from his previous breakdown. I suddenly felt shy so I looked down, “I uh- I didn’t know how else to get you to stop talking” I said, nervously playing with my fingers. “Oh, well thanks?” he said in a questioning tone, “Did you mean what you said about your body? Do you really think that?” I softly asked.

Matt groaned and stood up, offering me his hand, “I don’t want to talk about it but yes, I do hate my body” he mumbled as I too stood up. We made our way over to his bed and laid there in silence for a few minutes. I rolled over to my side facing Matt “Have you tried cumming?” I questioned quietly, “What!?” he rolled to face me as well, confused by what I just said.

“You know, because you’re stressed. I think I read somewhere that having an orgasm helps to relieve stress” Matt’s face was now painted red. He rolled over to be flat on his back again, “I’ve tried but I can’t get hard” he exhaled deeply. “Oh… I could try to help if you want” I offered, chewing on my nails, Matt turned to face me again, “Help.. me get… Help me get hard?” he questioned nervously.

We both had blush covering our faces at this point, “Yeah, then I can go chill in Nicks room and you can jerk off” I smiled shyly. “I mean that could work but I don’t want to be naked if you have clothes on” “You don’t have to be naked, you just have to trust me” “I-I trust you, how do we start though?” we conversed. I took a moment to think before asking, “Do you want to make out first, I know I’m like a lot bigger than you so I don’t know if it would be a problem for me to sit on your lap. Is it a problem?” I asked self-consciously as we both sat up.

Matt looked at me with an unamused look, “If that’s your way of making me feel worse about my body, it worked because your body is amazing” he huffed out, avoiding looking at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way” I said with a sad smile, upset that I hurt Matts feelings. “I know you didn’t but my body is like the main reason I cant get hard. I don’t like looking at myself naked, it shows off too much of what’s wrong with me” he replied.

It was silent again for a few minute until I broke the silence again, “I think it’s hot” “What?” Matt looked at me confused. “Your body, I think it’s hot” I smirked, “You think so?” “I know so, don’t you ever notice me staring at you when you’re shirtless or only wearing your boxers?” I teased some more. “I haven’t noticed actually, however, I have noticed you’re not on my lap yet” Matt pouted, pulling me onto his lap.

I was about to say something but was cut off by Matt grabbing the side of my face/neck and pulled me into a sweet kiss that quickly turned needy. I pulled back for a second to catch my breath, “Shit, I’m sorry! I’m just so touch starved and crave physical affection. You were gonna say something?” he panicked. “It’s okay, I know that physical touch is your love language, it’s one of the things I like about you. I forgot what I was going to say but I can tell you I’ll kiss you again” I giggled.

With that, Matt pulled my face to his again and this time the kiss was soft, yet also rough and needy. I had my hands wrapped around Matt’s neck, but his laid awkwardly at his sides, almost as if he’s scared to touch me. I pulled back from the kiss to grab his wrist and mumbled something against his lips. “You can touch me you know” I smirked as I placed Matt’s hands on my waist and went back to kissing him.

Matt’s hands quickly slid down and tightly gripped onto my hips, slowly starting to rock me back and forth. I started feeling his cock get hard and once I could tell he was fully hard, I stopped everything which caused Matt to let out a displeased whine. “Mmh why’d you stop?” he pouted, “Because you’re hard now, which means it’s my queue to leave” I said while trying to get up.

Matt held my hips down and begged, “Please don’t go! I-I don’t think I’ll be able to make myself cum, me being alone with my naked body sounds like a bad dream” he sighed. Piggybacking off what was just said he added, “W-Would you please m-make me feel good? I’ll let you have your way with me as long as it’s not super rough because I’m not in the mood for that” his eyes got a shade or two darker.

“Yeah, I can give you head if you want or you can sit back, relax and enjoy the full sub treatment” “Does the full sub treatment include sex? Because I’ve never been the submissive one before, I uh usually do doggy so my body isn’t seen as much. I’ve never even had a chick ride me before but you being on top sounds really hot, we don’t to have sex by the way, I was just saying if you wanted to I’m down” Matt confessed.

“If you stop talking about sex with other women, you have a deal. I might keep my shirt on though” I replied as I started slowly rocking my hips again. Matt’s grip on my waist tightened and he thrusted his hips up, his hard-on pressing against my clit so nicely that I let out a small, quiet moan. His eyes grew even darker after that, “No you will not. I wanna see your beautiful belly, I just know it’s gonna turn me on so much more” he instructed me.

I blushed and nodded, “Okay then handsome, just lay back and let me do all the work, tonight is all about you” I said, watching him nod before my lips were on his. I slid my tongue across his bottom lip, silently asking for access to his mouth which was quickly granted. He had a bit of trouble giving up control over the kiss at first but once I started trailing my kisses down his throat, he finally gave up on trying to win.

Matt’s pov

After Y/n had dominated the kiss, we made out for a bit before she started kissing down my neck. Once she reached the collar of my shit, she stopped and stood up to unbutton her pants. “If you really want me to make you feel good, take your pants off for me” she said seductively as she pulled off her own baggy jeans. I followed her directions and pulled my sweats off before grabbing her hand and leading her to sit on my lap again.

Y/n sat on my lap again before taking off her shirt, leaving her in a black lacy bra with matching panties. “Fuck… you look so goddamn beautiful” I said while looking into her eyes, my hands running up her thighs. “Mmm, thank you handsome. Can I take your shirt off?” she smiled, placing a short but sweet kiss to my lips, “You can do whatever you want to me” I panted, already being completely whipped for her.

She took my shirt off before whispering in my ear, “You’re such a good boy for letting mommy taking care of you like this” as I helped her get my pants and boxers off. “Such a pretty cock Matty. You gonna let me make you feel good?” Y/n teased, making me squirm a bit. “Please! Please just make me cum!” I pathetically begged as I watched her hand slowly move up and down my cock.

Y/n’s pov

“Anything for my sweet boy. Now tell me what it is that you want baby” I asked softly, loving how fucked out he looked already. “Want your mouth please mommy! Want you to ride me after!” Matt confessed all whiny and desperate, and who was I to deny him that? Without a word, I nodded before bring his tip into my mouth, loving the whimper he let out, “Yeah j-just like that, fuck!” he groaned as I swirled my tongue around his tip.

After teasing Matt a little bit, I decided to fully take him into my mouth, almost immediately deepthroating his cock. “Holy shit mommy! You’re so good at this! I won’t last long!” he cried out, bucking his hips up when I hummed against him. I continued doing this for a few more minutes when I felt Matt start to twitch in my mouth, his lower abdomen contacting as well.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum— shit!” he whimpered as his hips thrusted upward and his left hand came down to hold my head in place. His right hand was pulling at his own hair as he shout a huge load into my mouth, so much that it was literally dripping out of the corners of my mouth. As I came up for air, I wiped the corners of my mouth to clean up the spilled cum and then licked it off.

“Did that feel good Matty? You were such a good boy” I smile as I placed a sweet kiss to his lips. “More! I-I need more! Y/n please, I need you to ride me. I’m so fucking hard still, I need to drain my balls in you” Matt begged me. “So needed aren’t we?” “Yes, please I need you” Matt nearly yelled with tears in his eyes. “Okay, okay, calm down sweet boy. You’ll get what you want, just be patient” I spoke softly as I pulled off my panties and unhooked my bra.

Matts hands immediately went down to my ass, staring up at me with a look of desperation. “Are you gonna be a good boy?” “Very good!” I smiled as I slowly sunk down on his cock, trying to adjust to how long and thick it was. “S-So tight mommy! So f-fucking tight!” Matt whimpered out as I started to move up and down with the help of him. Both of us were moaning quite loudly as I started to move faster, pulling his hair in the process.

“Such a good boy Matty, making mommy feel so good with your big cock!” “W-Want you to cum. Wanna f-fill you up” Matt grunted as he started bucking his hips up into me at a fast pace. We were both very close and with one more thrust that hit my g-spot perfectly, I was cumming on his cock. “Fuck Matt, I’m cumming. Oh god— cum for me baby!” I cried as I rode through my orgasm, starting to slightly overstimulated but wanting Matt to cum.

With a loud whiny growl, Matt came inside of me, this load was equally as big as the one from earlier, instantly dripping down his balls. “Holy shit— I love you, and I’m not just saying that because you gave me the most mind blowing orgasm ever. I genuinely love you Y/n” Matt confess as he started to rub my back. “I love you too Matt, I mean it” I smiled as I placed a soft kiss to his lips “Don’t get off, cockwarm me all night please” he sweetly asked.

I agreed and we got situated so we could lay down, Matt turning off his bedside lamp in the process. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna take you on the best date of your life, but for now, goodnight pretty lady” “Goodnight Matt, I love you” I mumbled into his neck, feeling the sleep take over my body. “I love you too, and thank you for tonight. Now get some rest baby” was the final thing to be said before we drifted off to sleep.

All work is subject to copyright

© Daddyslilchickenfingers2 2023

Do not steal my work

[mj-iza-writer]

A whumper who cries whenever whumpee is being defiant. Whether the tears are real (whumper is genuinely upset) or fake (just a manipulation tactic), whumpee will almost always submit and allow themself to be punished or even pampered.

💖💜

Creepy intimate Whumper.

"I would prefer you didn't touch me", Whumpee hissed.

Whumper rolled their eyes and touched Whumpee's head anyway.

"Why are you so spicy?", Whumper cooed as they traced Whumpee's clenched jaw.

Whumpee attempted to pull away, but Whumper only held onto their chin.

"Bite me", Whumpee yelled before realizing what they had said.

"Gladly", Whumper chuckled and lowered to Whumpee's neck.

"Stop, ow, stop", Whumpee gasped.

Whumper chuckled again as they stood, "you asked for it. I was only obeying your request."

"So disgusting", Whumpee hissed.

"Your words hurt so much", Whumper sighed, "I wish you...."

"No, I don't like you. I don't like this situation. I want to leave", Whumpee glared.

Whumpee watched as Whumper turned away. Whumper wiped their eyes momentarily, then walked away.

Whumpee used that moment to jump up from the floor and run.

Whumper ran after them and grabbed their wrist.

"I don't think so", Whumper frowned, "be good. Come on, it's breakfast time."

Whumpee was handcuffed to the dining room chair. Whumper also shackled their ankle to the table.

"That should keep you sitting still", Whumper smiled as they tapped on Whumpee's lips, "I'll be right back. I think you'll love breakfast. I made your favorite."

Whumpee tucked their lips into their mouth then bit at Whumper's finger.

"If you want to act like an animal, then I'll treat you as such", Whumper warned, "with how you're acting", Whumper sniffled, "can't we have just one nice day. Let me enjoy my dream just once. It's our anniversary. You came here one year ago today."

"Are you crying?", Whumpee glared, "I'm being kept prisoner here, and you're the one crying."

"Shut up", Whumper sniffled again, "you ruin everything."

Whumpee looked down.

Whumper wiped their eyes again and walked into the kitchen.

"Here is breakfast", Whumper carried out a tray and set it down, "I hope this at least pleases you a little."

Whumpee sighed when they saw Whumper's face was red from crying.

'Why do I feel guilty?', Whumpee yelled at themself, 'they kidnapped me. They forced me into this fever dream situation. I'm quite literally kept here against my will. Why am I guilty?'

Whumper came back out with another tray and quietly sat down.

Whumpee slowly looked up.

Whumper's eyes were a little puffy now.

"Why do you even like me?", Whumpee started, "I'm not a likable person. You don't see that?"

"I just do. Why can't you see that", Whumper whispered hoarsely, "you are amazing. You keep putting yourself down."

Whumpee sighed, "I'll make you a deal."

Whumper looked at them curiously.

"I will behave, for today, if you agree to these three conditions", Whumpee situated themself slightly.

Whumper nodded quickly.

"I will play along to your weird dream for today if you will stop being weird and touching me unnecessarily. You take me to McDonald's for lunch. Thirdly, we watch a movie tonight... my choice... and we get snacks and drinks."

"Deal, deal, and deal", Whumper smiled widely.

"Can I be released so I can eat. This is my favorite breakfast after all. How can I eat it like this?", Whumpee lifted their arms slightly.

"You won't run?", Whumper questioned.

"Not today at least. I'll be good", Whumpee nodded, 'unless an opportunity arises', they quietly crossed their fingers.

"Okay", Whumper quickly stood up and pulled out their keys. They giggled as they unlocked the cuffs.

"I know you said no touching, but just one hug", Whumper squeezed Whumpee, "you made me so happy."

"Ugh", Whumpee groaned as they were squeezed tightly, "can't breath."

"Sorry sorry... hmm, I'm just so happy", Whumper skipped back to their seat.

"Those chicken nuggets taste good?", Whumper looked over as they drove away from the restaurant.

Whumpee looked up with full cheeks and a fist full of fries. They nodded quickly.

"Really good", Whumpee muttered after swallowing a little, "I've been wanting this for so long."

"You know you don't have to cut deals with me to get food like that. I didn't know you wanted McDonald's. I'm happy to buy you food whenever you like", Whumper smiled playfully, "you are absolutely adorable when you are eating."

"I don't want to talk to you sometimes, or I'm so mad I don't feel like eating", Whumpee pulled out another fist full of fries, "this is so good."

"I'm sorry I make you mad, I only wish to love you", Whumper sighed sadly.

"You're not going to cry again, are you?", Whumpee looked up awkwardly.

"No", Whumper chuckled lightly, "has my dearest been appeased, or do we require more?"

"A milkshake would be delicious", Whumpee watched as they drove past an ice cream place, "plus snacks for the movie later."

"I've already ordered our favorite snacks and drinks. They'll be delivered later", Whumper grinned, "what movie are you wanting?"

"I don't know yet", Whumpee reached for their drink, "something funny maybe."

Whumper smiled, "see this isn't so bad, is it. Having a civil conversation. Eating good food, planning a future event. Why can't this be every day?"

"Because I don't like being held prisoner in your house", Whumpee pointed out.

"Don't know why. My house is better than what you came from. I don't abuse you", Whumper sighed.

"Don't ever say anything negative about my past. I tried my best, and I survived. I am proud of that", Whumpee talked through clenched teeth, then turned to stare out the window, "maybe if you wouldn't make me feel so worthless... maybe... maybe I'd get along with you better, but you say things like that and it makes me want to punch your face in."

Whumper turned worriedly, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't... I don't pay attention to what I say sometimes. I'll try to be better I promise."

"Hmph", Whumpee huffed.

"Soooo, does a chocolate milkshake sound good or vanilla?", Whumper found a place to turn around, "carmel?"

"Chocolate is fine", Whumpee whispers hoarsely.

Whumper sat down on the couch and handed the bag of snacks to Whumpee.

"Have you found the movie yet?", Whumper reached for their milkshake.

Whumpee flipped through the catalog on the TV.

"I remember liking this one, but there is another one that looks good as well", Whumpee clicked back and forth.

"Let's watch both of them. We don't have anything else to do. We can eat dinner in between the movies", Whumper sat back, "milkshakes were a great idea. This is really good."

Whumpee nodded as they sipped at there's.

"I'm trying to get everything I can out of this day. We can stay awake to midnight if it means you'll keep being nice to me", Whumper smiled.

Whumpee sighed, "I'll contemplate being good if you feed me my favorite breakfast again tomorrow."

Whumper whipped their head around.

"I was going to surprise you with a breakfast delivery, but the next day. The next day I can definitely do that... just please... I love this so much. Today was perfect. Can we have more days like this one?"

"I'll think about it", Whumpee smirked, "no promises though."

Whumper nodded, "fair enough. I'll try my best to obey the boundaries you've set today as well. I'll do anything to make this work."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

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@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

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@blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @mylifeisonthebookshelf

@thenormalestever @whatwhump

@galatic-worm @starmoon-constellation

@bacillusinfection @whumpsandbumps

@tobiasbones

[samoankpoper21]

Drunken Confession - Suna Rintarou

Summary: Suna's best friend is going on a date. How will he react?

Content warnings: cursing, suggestive smut, alcohol use...can't think of anything else

A/N: Y'all I have been stuck on Suna for quite some time now, it amplified more after reading this one fic where he's a tattoo artist who pines over his plus size friend and the way the author wrote him is exactly how I picture him and it was just truly a work of art aslkdfalkdsj I've posted the link so please check out their work!! So good! Anyway I decided to do a slight twist to my drunken confession series^^ this time it's you receiving the confession^^ As always reader is chubby!/poc! and switches between using the Kansai accent. Enjoy~!!

"I always thought you and Rintarou were gonna be a thing." You nearly spit out your water at your mom's declaration.

"What the hell mom."

"Whaaat I'm being serious. He's a nice boy. It drove your dad and I crazy watching you two dance around each other. To this day it's still driving us crazy! When are y'all gonna get together?" Chuckling you remind your mom, "Have you seen his exes? They're all skinnier than me and besides back in high school I mean I knew I looked good but I don't think he would've wanted to date someone who's way darker than him and heavier than him."

"Now you're just playin' stupid."

"Oh geez thanks mom."

"Your dad and I see the way he looked at you back then and now. He got a thing for you honey so why not pursue it?" You began to chew on your bottom lip. The thought of being with Suna has crossed your mind numerous of times. From the moment you two met in high school ungraciously - he approached you asking how much you weighed because you were now his motivation for his weight lifting pr - til now you found him attractive, even more so with the addition of his tattoos and piercings.

"I don't know ma, I literally came over here to vent to you about how boring my date was."

"You know how you could get over another man?" your dad quipped from his place on the couch in the living room.

"How dad?"

"Find another one."

"Really dad!"

"That's what he told your brother all the time." your mom say shaking her head. Rising from his seat from the couch your dad finally joined the both of you in the kitchen, one arm snaking around your mother's plump waist, the other grabbing a fresh blueberry muffin your mom just put out. "Babe those are hot!" your mom scolded him.

"Not as hot as you."

"Ew save the bedroom talk."

"Look dear," your mom continued trying to hide her blush. Years later you still found it endearing how enamored the two of them were with one another. "It doesn't hurt to try. Text him and say you're going on a date, see what his response is."

--

Throwing your keys in the cup you began gnawing at your lip. You hated lying to Suna and you knew he would throw a fit considering that Fridays are reserved for the both of you but you were dying to confirm you parent's - and possibly your - suspicions.

Y/N: Sunaroooooooouuuuuuu

Sunarouuu <3: what

Y/N: ugh a little less sass would be nice???!!!

Sunarouuu <3: wHAT

Y/N: -_- Y/N: whatevs Y/N: anyway I gotta date today asdfkjl

Sunarouuu <3: And you're telling me because...???

Y/N: You know I'd appreciate it if you were a bit more happy for me 😥 Y/N: anyway he's taking me out tonight at around 7ish

Sunarouuu <3: breh u know fridays r our days da fuck

Y/N: I know I know I'll make it up 2 u next week I swear 🙏🏾😭

Sunarouuu <3: yer lucky the boys wanted to hang out 2nite

Y/N: 🫶🏾

Suna groaned his fists covering his eyes. "Fucking shit."

"Uh oh," Aran asked. "What happened?"

"Looks like I'm drinkin' with ya tonight."

"Whaaat? Y/N finally dumped ya?"

"Shut the fuck up Miya." Kita rounded the corner smacking Atsumu behind the head, Osamu giving Kita a thumbs up. "Stop teasing Suna. What happened? What'd she say?"

"She got a date or some shit like that." Sighing Kita advised, "Why don't you tell her how you feel? How you've always felt."

"Because fuuuck it'll just mess up our whole dynamic."

"Doesn't hurt to try. You can't get mad at the situation if you haven't even tried to change it."

"I hate it when yer right." he grumbled.

"Anyway I'm about to head home."

"Aw come on Kita ya should drink with us. We're drinkin' to celebrate Suna's rejection." Just as quickly as those words left Atsumu's mouth he dodged his head from the object that flew towards him. Kita shook his head chuckling. "Unlike you guys I have someone to go home to."

"Yer not talkin' bout your stupid dog are ya?"

"Keep it up Tsumu and I'll let Suna kill you for real this time." Holding his hands up in mock surrender he laughed bidding Kita a good evening.

--

Suna slammed down the shot glass, his cheeks red his head spinning. "Maybe ya should slow down" Aran fretted. "You've been knocking back shot after shot."

"Ya don't understand."

"Here he goes again." Atsumu mumbled under his breath. Ignoring him Suna continued. "I really really like her."

"So why haven't ya told her?" Osamu asked.

"Dunno. Scared I guess."

"Of what? From what I see she's been holdin' back too ya know."

"Really?"

"Oi yer hopeless."

--

Groaning you awoke to a flurry of knocks and bangs at your apartment door. Picking up your phone you saw that it was nearing 3AM with a bunch of missed call and text notifications from Osamu, Aran and Suna. Frowning you trudged your way to the door swinging it open to see Osamu and a very drunk Suna with his head down, arm slung over Osamu. "Samu? Hi what-"

"Yer apartment was the closest to the bar and he wouldn't stop tellin' me to drop him here." Ushering Osamu to hand him over you chuckle, "I don't mind. Why'd he drink so much anyway?" Osamu stiffened at your question before replying, "I'll let him explain. Anyway thanks for takin' care of him. See ya later."

"Bye Samu and thanks!" Flicking the lights on you turned to admire how beautiful Suna looked in his drunken state: his cheeks painted a dark shade of red contrasting against his skin tone, his chapped lips, and yellow grayish eyes that abruptly shot open. "Y/N?"

"Samu dropped you off here, told him that you didn't want to go home." Groaning he quipped, "Didn't mean to ruin yer date."

"You didn't."

"I think ima head home." Frowning you scold, "Suna Rintarou, how the hell are you gonna go home in that state?"

"What if yer date sees-"

"There is no date sheesh just stay here."

"I don't wanna ruin-"

"Rin, I'm telling you to stay." Staring at you intently he reluctantly agreed. Helping him remove his shoes you drape his left arm over your much shorter shoulder, your right arm hooking itself around his waist. "Come on ya big lug let's get you to bed. Lord knows yer gonna have a massive hangover." Leading him to your bedroom you gently sit him on your bed, one hand hanging onto him, the other reaching for the water bottle on your nightstand. You giggled as you watched him sway to and fro with his eyes closed. Grabbing 4 ibuprofen you smashed them into small pieces dropping it into the water bottle praying that he doesn't choke or spit it out. "Rin," you gently shake him. "Rin."

"Hm?" his eyes slowly peeled open, he gulped taking in your black spaghetti strap that hugged your full breasts and tummy and the short pink shorts that stopped atop your thick melanated thighs. Stooping in front of him he blushed at the dirty thoughts running through his mind as you got on your knees. "I need you to drink this. Can you do that for me?" Exhaling slowly he looked at the bottle in your hand and grimaced. "Water?"

"If you don't hydrate yer gonna wake up with a really bad hangover. Come on Rin do it for me. Please?" Gulping again he could feel his face heating up at the position you were in: you peering up at him through your lashes, pleading, had his cock straining in his pants. If only you knew how much power you had over him. The word please, the way you uttered it would make him burn the world if it made you happy. "Fine." you smiled unscrewing the cap to the bottle bringing it to his lips. Maintaining eye contact with you he opened his mouth letting the cool stream of water slide down his throat, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. Once the water was finished you lay him down gently draping the covers over his much too tall frame. As you were about to head out he grabbed your wrist. "Where ya goin'?"

"I was gonna sleep on the couch."

"The fuck just sleep here."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Surprised by his strength despite his inebriated state you squeaked when he pulled you to him, your head crashing into his chest. Letting out a sigh of relief Suna pulled you tighter into his embrace, his leg wrapping itself around you as he began petting your head. Blushing you wished you could act on your desire but knew otherwise. Clearing your throat you tentatively ask, "Rin?"

"Hm?"

"What happened? Why'd you drink so much today?"

"Cuz of yer stupid date."

"Wha-"

"I like you so much Y/N. Hell," he chuckles. "I think I'm in love with ya. Yer so smart and beyond beautiful but it's not just physical attraction with ya, I like yer whole being. I can't see you with anyone else so when ya told me ya had a date fuck I don't know my heart just really hurt ya know."

"You like me Rin?"

"Since I first saw you in high school." With tears in your eyes you peered up to see that he had fallen asleep.

--

Groaning awake Suna's eyes slowly peeled open taking in his surroundings. Oh it's Y/N's room. What a weird dream. Closing his eyes again he snuggled into your warmth inhaling your scent releasing a sigh of relief. This is probably one of the best dreams I've ever had with Y/N in it. I hope I can sleep a bit longer. It feels so real. Stiffening his eyes shot open when he felt you wriggle closer to his hard on. "Fuck," he hissed out trying to recollect last night's events; attempting to pry his arms from around you you whined scooting back closer to him, pulling his arms around you again. "Y/N," his morning voice caused you to internally shiver. "Hm?"

"Ya awake?" Slowly sitting up you lifted your arms above your head stretching letting out a yawn, Suna gulping at your erect nipples as you slowly began rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "Fuck I'm sorry I don't know what or how-"

"Rin-"

"Look I understand if ya hate me-"

"Rin-"

"Or don't wanna talk to me-"

"Rin.ta.rou."

"But if I made ya feel uncomfortable-"

"You've never made me feel uncomfortable. Not once, not ever." Silence cascaded around you both, both of you scared to break the moment. Inhaling deeply you gently ask, "What do you remember about last night?"

"Fuck I just remember we went to the bar, I drank way more than I shoulda and...now that I think about it I don't feel hung over." Chuckling you respond with, "I crushed 4 ibuprofen and put it in your water." Dramatically gasping, Suna clutching a hand over his heart he says, "You've drugged me? How bold of you Y/N."

"Thank you for making sure I don't wake up with a really bad hangover would've sufficed the fuck." A comfortable silence settled when you tentatively ask, hands fidgeting avoiding his gaze, "D-do you remember what you said? What we talked about?" Gawd Suna wanted to smack his head against the wall, hell he was even willing to let Atsumu do it too for the sake of remembering. Awkwardly chuckling you mutter, "Doesn't matter if ya don't remember. I mean you drank a lot anyway." His chest hurt at seeing you hurt trying to hide the pain by cracking jokes. He cuffed your wrist gently. "Y/N." Biting your lip willing yourself not to cry he gently cupped your chin angling your head to look at him. "Please tell me what we talked about."

"Nah I'll let you suffer. Real fucked up how I'm the only one that remembers."

"That's unfair, one of us wasn't in a clear state of mind."

"Touche." Taking a shaky deep breath you whisper, "Y-you told me you drank because of me b-but the truth is I didn't have a date last night. I only said that to confirm my parents' suspicions."

"Which is?"

"That you l-liked me. But it's okay! I understand if you don't!"

"Gawd yer stupid." Pulling you against him his head bent down slotting his lips against yours, the fit perfect. You whimpered when you felt his big hand slide underneath your tank top sliding up your back. Pulling back both of you gasping for air he leaned forward so that your foreheads were touching. "I've liked you since high school. I didn't wanna ruin what we had, what we built so I kept dating all these girls in hopes of trying to forget you but it didn't fucking work. I kept comparing them to you how their smiles never lit up likes yours, how they didn't like to read, how they weren't you and it wasn't until the boys called me out on it where I finally realized that I have fallen helplessly in love with you."

"Damn," you smirk. "You were down bad for me huh?"

"Shut up." he groaned before yanking your hair back exposing your neck pressing and sucking wet heated kisses along your neck. "I-I like you too." Pausing his ministrations he pulled back to look at you with warmth in his eyes. Mustering up more courage you continue with, "Hell I think I love you." Smiling you lean forward to capture his lips in a passionate kiss when you gently push against his chest, straddling him, his hands instinctively finding purchase on your plump hips, his fingers squeezing the chubby flesh. Quirking an eyebrow up he watched as you slowly lifted the tank top over your head, his eyes darkening. "Rin, let me make it up to you, for all our lost time."

©ALL WORKS BELONG TO SAMOANKPOPER21; ANY INFRINGEMENT OR PLAGIARISM WILL BE REPORTED!! DO NOT STEAL MY WORK!!

[damiansgoodgirll]

Kylian Mbappé request

Fluff to smut to fluff again

It’s your first time having sex after having your baby…

The beginning of the imagine is just pure fluffy domestic dad Kylian. Changing nappies, washing bottles, and he lets you sleep while he takes care of the baby because you deserve. You guys are both very horny cause 6 weeks is the longest you’ve ever gone. Kylian is embarrassed to admit, but he gets flustered when he sees you feeding your son. He wishes it was him.😂Today is finally your check up, and you come back and tell Kylian that you have been cleared. Some cute fluff where he worships you. And then some pillowtalk at the end about the fact that you guys are finally parents and it’s such a dream. That he’s glad to do it with you.

Thank you! 😊

kylian mbappè x reader

fluff and smut!

My man

you couldn’t be more thankful for the man you had by your side every single day.

from the moment, you told him that you were pregnant, he stood by your side like a puppy, never leaving you. 

during the whole pregnancy he made sure you were comfortable and not in any pain, that you were keeping yourself hydrated and rested. he loved taking care of you and he couldn’t wait to take care of your baby too.

when you gave birth he helped you in anyway he could, from changing diapers to feed the baby when you were sleeping, from cleaning the house to taking care of you if you were too tired to even take a short shower. he always reminded you how proud he was, how proud he was for you for having your baby, for keeping a baby inside of you for nine months and for giving birth to the most amazing child he could ever ask for.

kylian loved you from the bottom his heart and sometimes he was ashamed of how easily he got turned on. if you were doing your skin care in your pajamas or if you were breastfeeding your baby, he couldn’t help the way his body reacted to those simple gestures.

he didn’t want to pressure you because he knew you would be in pain and the doctor precisely told you to wait from 6 to 9 weeks before you could have sex again and this thing was literally killing him. he would have an erection even from the stupidest thing you could do.

truth be told you were horny too.

maybe it was the hormones or maybe the fact that you both stopped having sex when you entered the eight month because it was hurting you too much but now, almost five months later you were horny as fuck and you couldn’t wait to have kylian’s hands all over your body again.

since he wouldn’t make a move you decided it was your turn. you knew he wouldn’t want to hurt you or pressure you but you were ready for it and he needed to know that.

“kyky…” you called him. he was washing his face in your shared bathroom and when he heard his name he stopped doing everything that he was doing at the moment and he got his focus all on you.

“is everything okay baby?”

“when are you coming to bed?” you asked him a little apprehensive.

“why? is everything okay? are you hurt?” he sounded worried.

you wanted to play this good.

“my back hurts a bit…” you said.

the moment you said you were in pain he closed the bathroom door and he joined you on the bed.

“do you want me to give you a massage?” he asked you softly.

“please…”

“okay mon amour, turn around…” he whispered helping you laying flat on the bed. before you could do that you removed your t-shirt remaining in your bra. that drove kylian crazy but he pretended everything was okay. you saw the look in his eyes and you knew he was feeling as horny as you, you were both to stupid to admit it like two freaking teenagers.

“tell me where it hurts babe…” he asked you softly.

you showed him the spot that was near your shoulders and his delicate hands started massaging right there.

it felt like heaven having kylian’s hands on your body once again.

you couldn’t help the soft moans of pleasure that escaped your mouth. you could basically feel kylian’s erection on your ass and since you knew how bad you both wanted this you started moving your hips in his direction making him groan.

“mon ange…are you sure?” he asked you softly.

you turned around to look him in the eyes and he basically could tell just from your look how horny you were.

“please…it’s been too long kyky…i need to feel you again”

“okay mon amour okay…just let me know if it hurts okay? i’m gonna stop, i want you to be comfortable and not in any pain…” he said kissing your cheek.

“okay baby…now, would you please fuck me?”

he smiled and his hands began to work on your shorts. removing them and tossing them away. you were left in your bra and panties and just by looking down there he could tell how wet you were for him. he decided to leave your bra on, knowing how sensitive your breasts were he didn’t want to hurt you but that didn’t stopped him from leaving soft love kisses to one on each of them.

“is this all for me baby?” he asked you when his fingers gently touched your panties.

“yes kyky” you said.

he softly kissed your thighs, getting closer and closer where you needed him the most. he removed your panties, leaving you naked in front of him, but your insecurities started to flow your mind, knowing how much your body changed in these past months, all the rolls and stretch marks that you had now, everything was making you feel self conscious and kylian sensed it.

“you’re beautiful mon amour” he kissed your stomach “the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen in my life, i love you so so much…” he kissed your stomach once again “i love you and your beautiful body, can’t believe someone is as strong as you, you kept our baby safe here…i love you so much” he kissed you once again on the lips this time. the kiss was full of love and passion.

“now, let me show you how thankful i am for you baby girl” he said while his thumb started working on your clit.

that was enough to make you moan loud.

“i wanna hear more of this” he said while stretching you out with one of his fingers.

“oh shit kylian…”

“does that make you feel good?” kylian asked you.

“shit…yes keep going” you said while he started moving his finger faster, in and out of you. you were honestly embarrassed that it took you only a few minutes to come.

“oh fuck…” you moaned as you came around kylian’s fingers.

“how bad did you needed that?” he asked you.

“bad, really bad…” you breathed out.

he smiled at you, kissing your neck and collarbone, leaving bites and soft marks.

your hands went through his shorts and when you touched him you could practically feel his dick twitching in your hands. you proceeded to remove his shorts and his boxers, leaving him completely naked in front of you.

“i need you kylian please…” you brought his cock between your folds, showing him how much you were ready for him.

he slowly thrusted in you, feeling how tight you were he didn’t want to hurt you and once he was fully inside of you he waited a few minutes to let you adjust to his length. he started thrusting in you slowly, pressing his lips to yours, wanting to distract you in case you were in pain. truth was you were already a moaning mess, you both were trying to keep it low to not wake your baby’s up.

“oh god kylian right there please…” you moaned when he hit that special spot inside of you.

he started going harder and faster, hitting your spot over and over and that was enough to make you cum for the second time that night.

“oh my - kylian…” you came loud.

he followed you a few seconds later, spilling inside of you a letting some of his cum drip onto your thighs. he proudly looked at the mess you both made and smirked.

you took time to catch your breath again and when you opened your eyes again you saw kylian watching you with lovey eyes.

“are you okay baby?” he asked you and you nodded “was i too rough? did i hurt you?”

“no baby, it was perfect…” you smiled at him.

he was happy to hear that.

he cleaned you up, dressed you in one of his huge t-shirt and helped you laying back on your bed while his hands caressed your hair.

“goodnight my love” he whispered to you when he felt you were already asleep.

you fell asleep thinking about him, thinking about the man that saved your life that day before valentine’s day and how, from that day you became inseparable.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine - Chapter five: “Our flaws are who we really are”

Summary: Spencer and (Y/N) have to return to work, and for once, the idea isn't appealing to any of them. There is a new member in the team...  Word count: 6.010 Warnings: Nothing but some Criminal Minds case info and some curses. A/N:  Is it weird to consider a 6K words chapter "short"?

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

(Y/N)’s point of view

Because being a mother, a wife, an FBI S.S.A. and part of the BAU wasn’t stressful enough, I decided to finish my Ph.D. after Raven was born. I still had one more year left, but my husband supported me to fish it.

After getting shot in the neck that year, Spencer took a month off and we returned to the BAU together. I will never forget the first day we left Raven with my mom at our place. Spencer wouldn’t let our baby go that morning. We were standing in the middle of our living room, mom stared at us, nearly chuckling, as my husband kept talking to Raven, explaining what would happen.

- “So, remember what I told you, Raven. You are going to stay here with your Nana until we come back from work. If things go well, we won’t go out of town on a case today.”

- “Things are going to go well.”- Mom pointed out, but I guess neither of us was paying attention to her. I kissed Raven’s forehead one more time and sighed.

- “I love you, birdie. Be good with Nana, ok?”

- “She is three months old. She can’t be naughty.”- Mom added, chortling.

- “She can. Trust me.”- I turned to her and shook my head.

- “Ok kids, you are running late. Give me my granddaughter.”- Mom stood next to us and reached out her arms to grab Raven. But Spencer didn’t move. He held our baby closer to his chest and sighed, staring at her big, brown eyes.

- “I love you so much.”- he whispered against her forehead as he kissed her carefully.- “Dad will be thinking of you all day long.”

It melted my heart to watch him being so loving and sweet with our baby girl. I always knew he was going to be a good dad, but watching him in action was a completely different thing. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I knew he didn’t want to leave her alone, because of course, neither did I. But we had to.

Mom walked to him and literally took Raven from his hands. Spencer looked at her and frowned, ready to argue. But stopped himself in his tracks. He knew he had to let her go that morning, even when it hurt.

- “We are going to be fine.”- mom assured us with a big smile. - “I’ll call you at noon, and you can text me whenever you want. Now go there and be heroes. Make your baby proud.”

And I guess, that’s something Spencer loves doing, ‘cos after he kissed Raven one last time, he held my hand and headed to the door.

- “Did you realize this is the longest we’ve been alone in over three months?”- I said as I sipped my coffee, and watched Spencer smiling as he drove us to work.

- “I know. It’s weird.”- he replied and chuckled. - “We should get more mommy and daddy alone time.”- I raised an eyebrow as I heard those words and opened my mouth to tease him about his kinks, but the phone interrupted me and made me skip a bit.

- “Is it your mom?”- Spencer asked right away.

- “No, it’s Garcia. Hey Pen, what is it?”

- “Are you guys coming?”- she asked right away.

- “Yeah, we just got late waiting for my mom, ‘cos she is staying with Raven. Why? Do we have a case?”

- “No, I’m just making sure you two are coming today. We miss you.”- I giggled and shook my head, though I knew Penelope couldn’t see me.

- “We’ll be there in ten.”

- “Everything ok?”- my husband asked. - “Do we have to go straight to the jet?”

- “No, she was just anxious to know if we were coming.”

- “I hope she baked us cupcakes.”

- “I’m sure she did.”- I replied and rubbed his leg with my left hand as he drove. We hummed to the song on the radio, the first non-kid song we had heard in weeks, and we drank our mugs of coffee as we got to work.

- “I miss her already.”- I whispered after a few minutes of silence.

- “I didn’t want to tell you, but I miss her too.”- Spencer replied and we both sighed.

- “But she is going to be ok.”- I assured her- “Mom is a pro.”

- “Yeah, I know. I’m glad Sofia can help us, otherwise, I would have lost my mind. I could never leave her at daycare. I would have rather taken her to the BAU with us than leave her with strangers.”

- “You know we will have to send her to school eventually.”- I teased Spencer and tried not to laugh as he parked in our old parking spot at work and neither of us moved for a few seconds.

- “I know she will eventually have to go to school, but I am not ready to think of that today.”- my husband whispered. I looked at him and nodded, holding his hand.

- “One day at a time.”- I replied and cut him a smile.

- “One day at a time.”- he repeated and leaned in to crush his mouth on mine. His kiss was sweet and slow, he took his time, rubbing his lips against mine and tasting me.

- “Come on kid!!”- and of course, Morgan had to ruin it all. - “Let the lady go and get to work!”- he teased as he knocked on our window, nearly killing us with a heart attack.

- “We hadn’t had a minute alone since Raven was born, and you had to interrupt us!”- I argued as soon as I stepped out of the car. Derek chuckled and opened his arms, giving me a triple hug before I could continue talking.

- “I missed you, pretty girl. How is my baby girl?”

- “She is so big! She started grabbing everything and putting it in her mouth. She is so cute!”- I quickly replied and nearly took my phone to show him the million pictures we had. But I stopped on time. I had promised myself I wasn’t going to be that kind of mom, pushing their baby pictures on everybody’s face. I always hated that, and I didn’t want people to hate me as well. At that minute, all I really wanted was to come back to work and find everything just as we had left it.

Of course, it wasn’t. The only constant at the BAU, I guess, was change.

Garcia was, in fact, waiting for us with homemade cupcakes and cookies. That was the sweet part of our morning. Then came the meeting with Hotch, to catch up with everything that had happened when we had been away. He told us about Alex Blake’s departure, how she had quit the FBI and decided to move to Boston, with her husband, and teach full-time. We both knew it, she had called us to deliver the news before leaving, and though we invited her over, I knew it was too much for her to see Spencer again. She had developed a motherly bond with him, and watching him get hurt had pulled a string in her. One she didn’t want to relive. I guess some wounds are not meant to heal. The BAU can cause you that.

- “And are we getting a new teammate?”- I asked Hotch, and he nodded immediately.

- “Yes, but so far I’ve interviewed nine people, and I still haven’t found the right one.”

- “Nine? Have you tried with someone we know? Maybe bringing back Emily.”- Spencer suggested, reading my mind.

- “I already tried, she is not interested at the moment. But if things go well tomorrow, we might get a new member. Despite all that, today you just have to worry about catching up with work. You’ve been out for a long while, and we needed you back.”

- “We are ready.”- I replied and stood up from my chair right away. - “Anything else, sir?”

- “I just wanted to make it clear I can’t keep any of you in Quantico anymore. You’ll have to start traveling to the cases with us. Are you both ready for that?”

I knew neither of us wanted to do it, but we had to. It was our job, and we had to do it. So we agreed, stood up, and walked back to our desks.

- “We missed you here.”- JJ said from her desk and smiled at us. - “It was too quiet without your facts, Spence.”

- “It’s nice coming back.”- my husband replied with a warm smile. I looked at him and sighed at the sight of the pictures on his desk. He had three family pictures framed, one from our wedding, one from our first Comic Con together a million years ago, and one with Raven. Our first picture as a family. My phone hummed and a picture of mom and Raven playing made my day. So I walked to my husband and interrupted whatever he was talking about with JJ to show him the picture. He smiled and chuckled, pleased to see our baby girl was having a good time with her grandma.

Spencer’s point of view

Going back to work after Raven was born was a mistake. Now that I see it in retrospect, that was the moment we should have stopped. I could have started teaching full-time, like (Y/N) wanted me to do. And she would have finished her Ph.D. and might even have taught with me. We could have had a different life. More calm, at home. We wouldn’t have missed all the important moments in Raven’s life like we did. We would have been there when she needed us.

We wouldn't have ended as wounded as we did. With more emotional scars than we could ever deal with. On the bright side, at least we are still together. Despite the hell we went through.

The newest team member was Kate Callahan. We had seen her around in some FBI get-togethers like the time we all did karaoke at Rossi’s favorite bar. (Y/N) remembered that when we bumped into her the following morning, at the elevator.

- “You were singing karaoke at the Benjamin the night it closed.”- (Y/N) pointed out as the three of us shared the elevator on our way to the 6th floor. That’s how I guessed Hotch was about to interview her for the position.

- “I was! Good memory.”- Kate smiled at us and added - “Billy Joel might have died a little that night.”

- “Sadly he was not the only one.”- I replied and chuckled. - “He got the team started, but we went on to do a six-song set.”

- “The 80s took a fatal hit if I remember correctly.”- Kate said, chuckling along with my wife, and somehow I realized Kate would make an amazing match with ma cherie. They shared a very similar sarcastic sense of humor.

- “Have you seen the place that took over?”- she asked us and both of us shook our heads at the same time. Since we had turned into parents, our social life was basically nonexistent. - “It's like techno and twerking.”

- “It's not really my crowd.”- I replied and Kate turned to me immediately, shocked by my answer.

- “What? You don't twerk?”- I frowned and shook my head, somehow embarrassed by my own answer. Meanwhile, my wife had to cover her mouth so as not to laugh in my face.

- “I was... I was kidding.”- Kate explained, surprised I hadn’t got it. - “I don't twerk.”

- “Neither do we, don't worry”- my wife added and chuckled. The three of us walked out of the elevator and I hurried to open the door for Kate and my wife.

- “Ah. A gentleman and a scholar.”- Callahan pointed out and I just smiled.

- “Agent Hotchner's office is the first one at the top of the stairs.”- I said and though she looked at me confused I knew why she was there, she just thanked me and walked away.

- “Good luck!”- (Y/N) said and smiled at her. Kate nodded and disappeared.

- “We have to schedule Raven’s next pediatrician appointment.”- I said, leaving my things on my desk and turning to look at my wife, who just nodded. - “I’ll call the doctor's office at lunchtime, ok?”-I wrote it down though I knew I wasn’t going to forget it. (Y/N) simply stared at me and sighed.

- “Let’s pray we are in town to take Raven to that appointment. I don’t wanna miss it.”- I was about to tell my wife we couldn’t foresee how things would go in the BAU when Rossi, JJ, Penelope, and Derek walked into the bullpen, all of them talking at the same time.

- “Hotch talked to Emily.”- JJ announced and I turned to my wife knowing Em wasn’t planning on returning to the team.

- “And?”- Garcia was clearly excited by what she had just heard.

- “She just doesn't want to come back.”- Rossi killed all her hopes with just one sentence. I took a few steps closer to the team as I heard Pen arguing with David’s words.

- “Why? She loves us!”

- “For what it's worth, Hotch is interviewing someone we've met before.”- I announced and (Y/N) nodded.

- “He is?”- JJ asked right away and everybody turned to Hotch’s office to try to catch a glimpse of the candidate.

- “Yes. And it’s someone we actually like”- (Y/N) added from her desk. I turned to her and she smiled back.

- “How many candidates is that now?”- Derek asked

- “This one makes lucky number 10.”- Rossi announced and my Garcia turned to him shocked.

- “Ten candidates? Are you for real? And no one ever mentioned that? See, this is what happens when I don't sleep. I miss things.”- Pen whispered and I wondered why she wasn't sleeping well. But I didn’t get to ask, she just continued talking. - “Now can someone tell me who this person is? Are they nice? Why is that the first question I always ask?”

Pen started rambling as my wife explained we had bumped into agent Callahan on the way over. All of our friends nodded as she told us what had happened until JJ mentioned the one fact I wished we all could have forgotten.

- “Didn’t she use to work with Seaver? At Andy Swan’s Unit?”

- “What?”- (Y/N) asked as her face fell- “She is Seaver’s friend?”

- “You know, pretty girl, that simple fact doesn’t mean she has to be your enemy.”- Derek explained with a silly grin on his face. (Y/N) just turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

- “Of course, it doesn’t”.- she whispered and made a short pause before she added - “But did you just meet me or what?”- I looked at my wife and raised an eyebrow. She just smiled and shook her head.

- “You already liked her, face it.”- I whispered and (Y/N) sighed.

- “Yeah… but what if Seaver talked shit about me ‘cos I was mean to her when she was part of the team.”

- “Then she wouldn’t be lying.”- JJ replied and my wife glared at her immediately- “What? you know you weren’t nice.”

- “I know that, but you weren’t here to witness the whole deal, so you don’t know the whole story.”- the way (Y/N) nearly spat those words on JJ’s face left me speechless. And JJ didn’t know how to react either. So she just turned around and looked at me, shocked.

- “Come on, don’t argue.”- Pen said and stood between JJ and my wife. - “We have to stay together, we are a team, and we might be getting a new member.”- her cell phone finished her speech and her face went pale in a second.

- “What is it?”- Rossi asked, noticing her change.

- “The Bakersfield’s unsub killed again.”- she mumbled and started walking, she had to tell Hotch.

I looked at (Y/N) and she sighed. She knew she had been rude to JJ, though her comment hadn’t been the best either.

- “I’m sorry I snapped”- (Y/N) said and cut JJ a short smile. She was being honest, and I knew it was hard for her to deal with apologies.

- “I’m sorry too, I know it was a hard moment for you… I shouldn’t have said that.”- JJ rubbed her arms as she stared at my wife, and the two of them nodded.

- “Come on, we have a case.”- Rossi said and started walking to the briefing room, I waited for (Y/N) to grab her things and followed her.

- “Everyone, this is SSA Kate Callahan from Andy Swan's unit. She'll be joining the team.”- Hotch announced as soon as he walked into the room with Callahan, who waved at us with a grin.

- “Congratulations.”- I smiled at her as she sat at the other side of the table.

- “How are Andy and Seaver doing?”- Morgan asked her.

- “Oh, they're great and they say hello. They told me a lot about all of you.”- Kate said with a cheerful voice, and the entire team stared at my wife, who just nodded at Callahan with a warm smile, ignoring them. They weren't being subtle at all, and (Y/N) knew it.

- “We can get started.”- Hotch said and Pen started presenting the case.

(Y/N)’s point of view

It was sad knowing Prentiss didn’t want to come back to the team. I knew she loved her job at Interpol, but I always hoped one day she’d return to us. I was also feeling weird about JJ. I didn’t have any logical reason to snap at her the way I did, but something inside of me felt uneasy about her. However, she was my friend, so I did my best to put that feeling aside and be nicer to her. I know when I’m upset I can be incredibly hurtful, and that’s no way to treat a friend.

I called my mom as we gathered our things to get to the plane and announced to her we were heading to California.

- “We have been consulting on this case, and this guy just dumped the third body, so we are heading over right now.”- I explained as I grabbed my casefile, purse and looked at Spencer.

- “Take care, peanut. I will keep you posted on this beautiful baby girl.”- mom said and I heard her kissing my daughter’s cheeks.

- “Thank you, mom. I love you.”- I sighed after I hung up and shook my head. - “I hate leaving her behind.”

- “I know. Me too.”- Spencer whispered and held my hand- “Let’s hope we catch this guy fast.”

That day, Hotch paired me with Rossi and Kate. And guess what? I enjoyed it more than I imagined I would, considering we were trying to catch a serial killer. But Callahan was a great addition to the team. She was fun witty and incredibly smart. She had amazing comebacks to any random comment I would make. Three hours in the field and we were besties already. That made me feel more confident about anything that Seaver might have said to her about me.

We were back at the police station. Spencer was working on the geographic profile and Garcia was on the phone from Virginia, updating us on the number of websites that she found on the deep web where our suspect got to buy limbs from the victims. He wasn’t the unsub we were looking for, just… a weirdo with a problem. At least we already had a profile, and it felt like we were a little closer to catching our guy.

- “You'd think after 10 years I'd seen it all.”- Garcia sighed through the line. I knew she was definitely shocked by what she had found on those sites. It was sick, to be honest.

- “How many sites are there, mama?”- Derek asked her as I stared at the board my husband was working on. I was sitting at the other side of the table, next to Kate, going through the case file again.

- “Hundreds. And that gem of a fellow you've got in custody has looked at all of them at one time or another.”- Garcia explained.

- “I’m guessing there is no lead to get our unsub, right?”- I asked her and Pen automatically explained there wasn’t.

- “Anonymity is huge for these sites. They use a Tor network, which is an onion router. The point is, you're not gonna be able to find anyone this way. Do you know there are actual variations on a disarticulation fetish?”- my friend sighed at the other side of the line and whispered. - “I need baby kitten pics asap.”

- “Oh! Have you seen the hippo who lives with the family?”- Kate asked out of the blue, and I turned to her confused.

- “What?”- Garcia asked right away.

- “Sleeps with a blanket, gets massages, eats better than I do.”- Kate explained and looked at me nodding.

- “Where is that?”- Pen questioned and I could almost picture her face as she googled it.

- “South Africa. It's amazing.”- Kate explained. Morgan and Spencer turned to us and raised an eyebrow as Garcia got hyperventilated at the other side of the line and continued talking.

- “Trust me, I have an arsenal of cuteness. Have you seen the one with the baby elephant…”

- “Oh, with the baby chicks?”- Kate interrupted her, excited as well

- “Yes, I love that one!”

- “I love the one with the kitten cuddling with a baby, it’s so cute!”- I added and both Kate and Pen agreed with me, very enthusiastically. - "I keep telling Spencer we should get a kitten for Raven to grow up with, but he is..."

- “Uh, hey, you guys?”- Spencer looked at us from the board and I nodded.

- “Sorry. Sorry.”- the three of us said at the same time as my husband took us all back to work.

- “The most recent victim was taken from Riverside.”- he pointed out. - “That's more than 2 1/2 hours away from here.”

- “So his comfort zone isn't limited to here.”- Morgan added.

- “That's not good. He's got a lot more confidence than we thought.”- Kate said as I nodded.

- “Yeah, but this area has to mean something to him.”- I pointed out and Morgan supported my words.

- “Yes, he's leaving vics here, so he must have some connection to Bakersfield.”

- “The M.E. says he's gotten better at ligating each victim, which means he may have had practice.”- Spencer pointed out as he walked closer to the table and stood next to me.

- “On what?”- Morgan asked

- “We didn't originally profile him as an acrotomophile, but that sort of attraction typically has deep roots in childhood.”- my husband added.

- “That makes sense, maybe growing up he was constantly around dead bodies. Maybe his family had a funeral home.”- I said and my husband nodded at my words.

- “Exactly, it wasn't that big of a leap for him.”- Kate added, supporting my thoughts.

- “It could be. We know he wasn't social enough to continue the family tradition, so maybe he found work in a morgue or a hospital.”- Morgan pointed out.

- “When you say work…”- Garcia asked right away.

- “Security guard, janitor, anything entry level.”- I explained to her and heard her typing as I spoke.

- “Uh, the UC system has a medical facility in Bakersfield.”- she announced in a few seconds.

- “Anyone fired recently?”- Spencer asked him.

- “No, but there's an anatomy Professor on sabbatical.”

- “What's his name?” I asked and grabbed a pen right away.

- “Dylan Myers.”

The team went to the suspect’s house and left me and Spencer at the police station. I wasn’t complaining that time, I didn’t want to go. A part of my brain was relieved neither of us was in danger during that case. I wanted to go back home and hold my baby, hopefully, that very same night.

That last part was probably not going to happen when we got a call from Hotch, telling us the unsub wasn’t there. So the search for a secondary location started. However, Garcia had nothing on the guy, and the search was turning incredibly frustrating.

I was at the kitchenette in the police station, pouring a fresh cup of coffee for Spencer. He was a few feet away from me, reading the M.E. reports one more time. That was when I saw him reach the bullet scar on his neck and rub it. He would do it from time to time, I was sure it hurt, though he always denied it. Surely, he didn’t want to worry me. But nevertheless, I was worried. The fear of getting hurt or even worse had always been at the back of my brain, since I joined the BAU. But now that I was a mother, facing my own mortality was harder than ever.

- “Kid? Are you ok?”- I heard Morgan ask my husband as he walked into the room. I grabbed the cup I had poured for Spencer and headed in their direction.

- “Yeah. You?”- he replied, pretending nothing was bothering him. And Derek acted like he didn’t notice. A dangerous game to play at the BAU, if you ask me.

- “Just tired.”

- “Here hon.”- I gave my husband his cup of coffee and he sat straight on his chair right away, acting as if he wasn’t in pain at all. That was still upsetting to me, knowing Spencer wouldn’t be honest about those tiny things because he still wanted to protect me.

- “Dr. Lee sent this over. The most recent victim had more than just leather particulates in her stomach.”- Spencer explained to Morgan as I sat next to him and went through the file again. - “She chewed through it, leaving entire chunks behind. She also found traces of horse hair. He's using a bridle.”

- “This guy could have used anything. Why that?”- Morgan questioned and Spencer tried to get an answer.

- “It's either specific to his fantasy or something he had easy access to.”

- “How many horse ranches are around here?”- Derek asked my husband, but before he could reply, I said:

- “One hundred and thirty-four.”- Morgan frowned and turned to me as Spencer smiled and looked at the M.E report in his hands.

- “You are spending too much time with your husband, I’m gonna ask Hotch to pair us together instead.”- the phone interrupted our conversation, and speak of the devil, it was Hotch, with shocking news. Our suspect David Myers wasn’t actually the unsub, but his first victim and the killer had framed him.

- “That’s what I call a plot twist”- I whispered as I heard Hotch’s explanation.

- “He took out a lot of rage on this man for a reason.”- our Unit Chief added.

- “Maybe this Dylan Myers stood in the way of the unsub's true object of affection.”- Spencer suggested.

- “Well, it makes sense since we thought the first and second victims were connected.”- I added, but Spencer quickly shook his head.

- “Only Dylan Myers was single.”

- “Garcia, was Dylan Myers dating anyone?”- Hotch asked at the other side of the line.

- “He was a bit of a hermit, and like I said, zero social media skills. Did go old school with a landline. Tracking his frequently called numbers. He called a young woman named Christine Locke several times. She's a former student, lives in Bakersfield.”- Garcia made a pause and somehow, we all knew exactly what she was going to say next. - “And she's missing. Sending you her picture now.”

We stared at our cell phone’s screen and watched the image of a young blond girl appear in front of us.

- “She looks like the second victim.”- I whispered and looked at my husband for a moment, he was frowning, trying to connect the dots in this crime. If you ask me, he was desperate to crack it and go back home.

- “Did she have a restraining order out on anyone?”- Hotch asked.

- “Checking now.”- Garcia replied and typed as fast as she could. - “Uh, yes. She filed for and was granted a restraining order on August 6 from Steven Parkett.”

- “And where is he?”- I asked quickly, and Pen answered in a second.

- “Probably on his way to hell in a handbasket, munchkin. He was raised and lives at a cattle ranch and slaughterhouse in Bishopville just outside of Bakersfield. Sending you the coordinates now.”

The team got the killer, and before we knew it, we were on the plane, on our way back home. JJ and Morgan welcomed Kate with a long speech about their battle scars, that made me chuckle from the other side of the plane, at least the few minutes it lasted, ‘cos soon everybody around me was snoring. Everyone but me. Somehow I couldn’t close my eyes. I was too excited about going back home and holding my daughter in my arms. So I stood up carefully, trying not to wake Spencer, who was softly snoring next to me, and walked to the kitchenette to make myself a cup of tea.

The water hadn’t boiled yet when Kate appeared next to me, and cut me a short smile, clearly still half asleep.

- “Is there enough water in that pot for another tea?”- she whispered and I chuckled.

- “The correct question would be: is there enough tea in this plane to keep you awake?”- I answered and Kate Callahan laughed under her breath, trying not to wake any of our teammates.

- “Pick your favorite.”- I whispered and handed her a box with different kinds of teas- “If you need help, I can tell you my favorite pick to keep me awake during trips is Earl Gray.”

- “Earl Gray it is.”- she grabbed one bag and put it in an empty mug. We both stayed quiet for a few minutes. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just a little weird. We hadn’t actually been alone since we met, technically 48 hours earlier.

- “So why don’t you wanna sleep?”- I finally asked her, pouring the hot boiling water in her cup.

- “I can’t stop thinking about the case.”- she simply replied and smiled at me.- “How do you deal with catching a different serial killer every week and not… taking it with you?”

- “That’s a good question. I don’t know how we do it, actually.”- I answered and grabbed my cup with both hands, feeling the warmth against my cold skin right away.

- “Seaver told me a lot about the team when she transferred.”

And there it was, the pink elephant in the room. I bit my lips and looked at Kate, waiting for a snarky comment, a complaint, maybe a threat not to be mean to her. But no. That’s not what happened. Instead, Kate smiled at me and whispered.

- “She said everybody on the team taught her a lot and made her a better agent. Especially you and Prentiss.”

- “Me?”- I didn’t even try to mask how shocked I was by that confession. It made no sense. Yes, at the end Seaver and I were on better terms, but she wasn’t my friend. She wasn’t even invited to our wedding. And, like JJ had pointed out a few days earlier in the worst way possible, I hadn’t been nice at Seaver.

- “Yeah, she said you two had a rocky start, but that you were an incredible agent, and that she put to use everything you taught her.”- I raised an eyebrow and waited for the “but” to come any second.

But it never came.

- “I don’t know if Ashley actually meant it.”- I finally confessed and sipped my tea - “I was very mean to her when she joined the team. We had… considerable issues.”

- “Whatever it was, you two managed to work together no matter what, and you really taught her a lot. She was very proud to have worked alongside you and agent Prentiss.”- I tried to read Kate, try to find any trace of deceit, irony, or any lead that showed me she was lying. But there was nothing. Was I losing my profiler’s touch? Or was she actually being honest?

- “Wow.”- that was all I managed to say. - “I’m glad we were a good school for her.”

- “You definitely were. She said it was the first time she actually managed to skip her father’s stigma and be herself.”- I sipped my cup and nodded. On that very same plane, I had yelled at Ashley about how her father had killed my aunt. It felt like ages ago. In another life.

- “So, how long have you and Spencer been together?”- Kate asked after a few seconds. I smiled and whispered.

- “It’s gonna be three years already since we got married, and four since we started dating.”

- “You didn’t wait long to tie the knot!”- she replied, shocked, and raised an eyebrow.

- “It might sound weird, but most people thought it took us too long.”- it was funny looking back now, but god! It had been a long journey.

- “Really? Why?”

- “‘Cos we were in love for four years and a half and none of us said a word about our feelings.”- I confessed and giggled. Kate wide opened her eyes, shocked.

- “You what?!”

- “Yeah! We wasted four years in love with each other ‘cos we were both terrified to deal with our feelings.”

- “Oh my god! That’s… like a rom-com!”- Callahan chuckled and I smiled, thinking it was funny now, but back when Ashley was in the team, it was the closest I had ever been to hell on earth.

- “Yeah, that’s why after we started dating, we decided to get married very soon, and no one was actually shocked by that.”

- “And do you have kids?”- Kate asked, and I had to do my best effort not to jump with excitement when I started talking about our daughter.

- “One daughter, Raven Marie. She is three months and a half.”- I made my best effort not to be the kind of mom I always made fun of, showing pictures of their babies to anyone they could. Until I heard Kate ask the questions:

- “Do you have pictures?”- and I know I grinned like a maniac, grabbing my phone.

- “I have so many!”

For the rest of the trip, Callahan and I stayed in the kitchenette of the plane, drinking tea and chatting. She told me she didn’t have kids of her own yet, but that she and her husband were guardians of her little niece “Meg” after her sister died. I didn’t ask much about it 'cause it was clearly a sensitive subject, but she did tell me a lot about Meg. She was thirteen already, which gave me a glimpse of what raising a teenager meant. And it sounded creepy.

That morning we reached home and found my mom walking in the living room with baby Raven. I nearly ran to her and held her in my arms. Me and Spencer kissed her chubby cheeks and somehow, I felt at peace. That’s a feeling I only get when we are all together, at home. A feeling that’s very elusive when you are an SSA. 

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Free Now LN4 (Part 4)

Lando had returned to Woking to attend some meetings at McLaren a couple of days later, and tried his absolute hardest to stay positive, but after five minutes back in the building he was well and truly back in that same deep dark hole he'd ended 2024 in.

Everyone around him was so incredibly upbeat, already moving on, their laser focus on doing better this year. But for Lando, he was still living in the past. Every waking hour, and a lot of the time he was asleep, were consumed with the thoughts of how he'd fucked up the year before and the thought that he might be about to repeat it again this year.

No matter how many times the team tried to tell him they were proud of it, no matter how many times people had patted him on the back and told him to keep his chin up, he didn't hear it. He only heard one thing... he hadn't won, and he'd let them all down.

The muscles in his face were actually starting to hurt from trying to force a smile by lunch time. His answers to people who had stopped to offer their condolences on missing out on the title had gotten shorter and shorter every time. He just desperately wanted the day to be over so he could get on the plane back to Monaco and not have to see any of them for another couple of weeks. Maybe it would be easier to deal by then.

He sat hidden away in the corner, picking at his lunch that he didn't really want, as he scrolled through his phone. It wasn't going to be too long before he could get on with his afternoon simulator session, and then he could finally get out of there.

The message from Lottie that popped up caught his attention. He hadn't said goodbye to her, leaving early before she'd made it out of bed, the early start meaning he needed to get on the road. He'd been meaning to text her but once he'd actually arrived at McLaren all thoughts of doing anything else had quickly been lost to a busy schedule and his sour mood.

Flo told me you snuck off early this morning  and then you're going back to Monaco? I hope it all goes okay today, and if it doesn't and you want to talk about it give me a call. You can give me some news from the outside world to entertain me if nothing else!

He hesitated for a moment, before hitting the button to call her. He just needed someone to talk to him and get him out of his own head for a bit, before he drove himself completely insane. And if there was one thing he'd learned Lottie was very good at, it was talking just enough to distract him.

"Hey!" He could hear the smile in her voice as she answered the phone on the second ring. "I wasn't expecting you to call so soon. I thought you'd be busy!"

"Oh... I uh... I can call you back later if you're busy." He offered quickly, suddenly feeling bad that he hadn't thought to check if she was free. He'd been so caught up in his own feelings, yet again.

"Lando." She laughed quietly. "Of course I'm free. I'm laying in bed watching more crap tv, you know it's literally the only way I can spend my day."

"Oh, right." He answered uncertainly, not really listening to what she was saying.

"Well you know, I did run a marathon this morning, then me and Flo went sky diving. Then I thought I'd go to the gym this afternoon." Lottie teased, realising he wasn't listening to a word she was saying.

"Yeah, sounds good." He was still staring off into the distance, watching as Zak made his way towards him and saying a quiet prayer that he might just be able to blend into the wall and not have to have this conversation that he'd been avoiding.

"Lando. You're not even listening to me. What's going on?" Lottie asked.

"I uh... sorry." He mumbled. "It's weird being back here."

"I thought it might be." Lottie agreed quietly. "You didn't say you were going back?"

"I didn't want to think about it." Lando admitted. "Denial is the best policy sometimes."

"I'm not sure in your case that's really going to work." She told him. "How's it been, being back?"

"I uh... I tried to be positive." He told her.

"How is that going for you?" She asked, although she already knew from the tone of his voice and the fact he'd called her in the first place that the answer wasn't going to be a good one.

"How do you think it's going?" He asked dryly, one eye still on Zak as he made his way towards him, stopping to chat to people on the way. Lando hesitated, then quickly tossed the remains of his lunch in the bin, and bolted out into the fresh air and away from Zak. He didn't have it in him to put on a smile and try and reassure Zak it was all going to be fine this year.

"I'd hazard a guess and say it's not been a good day." She agreed quietly. "You going back to Monaco tonight?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I've got a couple of hours on the sim to do then I guess it's time to go home."

"You could come back here?" Lottie offered. "I'm sure Flo won't mind. You can keep me company, I've found a trashy new tv series I've been watching all day and if you need something to rot your mind and stop you thinking then it's ideal."

"I think I might've over stayed my welcome a bit with Flo as it is." Lando told her. "Besides, I've gotta get back home at some point. That plant mum got me is probably long since dead. I'll have to buy another one so she doesn't realise I killed it. She gave me so many instructions and I've managed to fuck that up too."

"The plant might've survived." She offered. "I'm sure Flo wouldn't mind either if you wanted to come back. She's barely been here all day to be honest, she might not even realise you're here."

"She's left you there on your own?" Lando frowned.

"She's only just outside with the horses." Lottie reassured him. "She's got to take the morning off tomorrow to take me back to the hospital for my appointment so she had a lot to get done. I think your Mum is going to stop by in a bit too."

"The hospital? What's wrong?" He asked quickly.

"Nothing, just got to go back for more X-rays to see how it's all healing up." She told him. "It'll be an exciting day out as far as I'm concerned. It's about as fun as things get at the minute."

"It'll be good news, I hope." He told her, and he really meant it. If anyone deserved to finally catch a break, then surely it had to be her.

"Yeah, well... we'll see I guess." She sighed. "You sure you're going to be okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." He reassured her, trying his best to make his tone sound at least slightly optimistic. "I should probably go to be honest, I'm supposed to be on the sim in a few minutes. Gotta get the practice in so I don't fuck it all up again next year."

"Stop saying that." She sighed. "You didn't fuck anything up, I know it feels like that but you didn't. One day you'll look back and realise that, even if you can't see it now."

"Maybe." He shrugged, although he sounded doubtful. "Either way, I'd better go get my ass into the sim and get on with it. They'll be sending out a search party soon."

"Okay." She agreed quietly. "Good luck, safe trip home."

"Thanks." He smiled, and it was probably the first time it had actually been a genuine smile on his face all day. "You'll let me know how you get on tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I will." She agreed. "Go on, go be amazing."

He snorted with laughter. "I don't know if I can do amazing. Painfully average might be more my style these days."

"Stop doing that." She sighed. "I know second place wasn't what you wanted; but you still did better than eighteen other people. Look at it that way."

"Let's just agree to disagree on this, shall we?" He suggested. "I'd better go, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright, bye Lando. Good luck."

"Thanks, Lottie." He hung up the call, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes for a second as he tried to savour the peace and quiet. He just needed five more minutes before he had to go back in there and put on a brave face infront of everyone.

"Ah, Lando! There you are!" Zak's voice shattered the little bit of peace he'd been hoping to find, and Lando painted a smile on his face and stood up straight to greet his boss.

"Hey, Zak. How are you doing? It's been a while." He mustered up his last remaining bit of enthusiasm to greet him. He couldn't even begin to explain quite how much he just wanted to go home and be alone in that moment.

"I was starting to think you were hiding from me." Zak joked. "You're a hard man to track down these days. I was really hoping we were going to have time to get a couple of rounds of golf in at the end of the season but you just disappeared."

"Oh, I've been busy." Lando mumbled, trying to come up with an excuse in his head quickly. He'd known all about the plans Zak had made for the two of them, he just couldn't face the thought of a whole day on the golf course with Zak trying to make him feel better so he'd pretended to be unaware and sat at home to wallow in his own disappointment instead.

"Everything alright?" Zak raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah." Lando nodded. "I was just checking in, one of my sisters friends... I've been staying with them, she's injured... long story. I'd better go actually. Im supposed to be in the sim already and I can't stay late or I'll miss my flight back tonight, sorry. We can catch up another time if that's okay? Unless you need me for something urgent?"

Zak hesitated for a moment, a look of uncertainly crossing his face as he tried to work out what was going on with his driver, but he did eventually nod in agreement as Lando started backing away from him. "Okay, we'll catch up soon though. Get a move on, you don't want to miss that flight!"

Once he was settled into the sim it did at least help to quieten his mind. He had no option but to concentrate on the task in hand and it left no room for any thoughts of anything else. It actually helped to quieten that nauseating feeling of anxiety that had taken root in his stomach as soon as he pulled into the car park that morning and refused to budge.

He was safe in the sim from anyone trying to talk to him or make him feel better. They mostly left him to it apart from a few very short exchanges here and there for him to give some feedback. It was actually very tempting to just stay in there forever. The combination of not having to talk to anyone and having something to distract himself with was a tempting one.

Before he knew it though his couple of hours was up, and he was climbing out and gathering his bag up. He said a very hurried goodbye to the team, not lingering long enough for anyone to try and strike up a conversation with him, and then he bolted to his hired car. He'd kept his head down all the way to the car park, pretending to be busy on his phone, so that no one could try and stop him to speak to him.

It had worked surprisingly well actually, and before he knew it he was sat back in the drivers seat of the hired car, putting the address of the airport in to the satnav ready to go and catch his flight back to Nice.

****

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Flo asked as her and Lottie sat in the hospital waiting room. Lottie was drumming her fingers nervously on the arm of the chair she was sitting in, waiting for her name to be called.

"I'll be okay, thanks though." Lottie shook her head, taking a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down. "God I hate coming back here."

"Maybe it'll be good news?" Flo offered.

"Yeah, maybe." She agreed weakly, although she somehow doubted that they were going to tell her anything remotely like what she wanted to hear. If she had learned one thing about this whole experience so far, it was not to get her hopes up.

The door opened and a nurse stepped out into the waiting room. "Charlotte Smith?" She called.

"Alright, good luck!" Flo told her, wishing her luck as she struggled to get to her feet. The nurse waiting patiently as she took a few incredibly hesitant steps on her crutches to follow after her.

"Sorry, I'm still very very slow." Lottie quietly apologised to the nurse as she hobbled down the hallway after her.

"No problem at all, you take your time my dear." The nurse reassured her. "I'm amazed that you're up and on your feet at all."

"Gotta get on with it at some point I guess." Lottie muttered. "I don't know if I'd count hobbling along at snail speed as anything amazing."

"Honey, after what happened to you, you're lucky to be alive never mind walking. Even if it is slowly." The nurse paused to hold the door to the doctors office open for her. "Just take a seat there for me, the doctor will be with you in a second, okay?"

"Alright, thanks." She nodded, slowly lowering herself into the chair to wait.

It felt like a lifetime before the door opened, and she was no enjoying the silence of being left alone in that small room with nothing but her own thoughts for company. The suspense of waiting for the doctor to turn up was almost as painful as the rest of her body.

Eventually though, the door opened, the familiar face of the doctor who'd performed the numerous surgeries she'd had to patch her up appearing around the door. "Hi Lottie, sorry to keep you waiting. It's been a busy day around here! How are you doing? It's good to see you up on your feet."

"I uh.... It's been good to be out of here." She offered. "But I'm still struggling. I know it's going to take a while to get better it's just... well, it's hard."

The doctor nodded, tapping away on his keyboard for a moment to pull up the X-rays she'd had taken that morning. "So, the extent of your injuries, I know I don't need to tell you again how extensive they were. I had a look at your X-rays quickly before I came in. The spinal fracture does look like it's healing, albeit probably not as quickly as I would like, but it is doing something at least."

"But?" Lottie asked warily, because from the tone of his voice there was definitely a but coming.

"The pelvic fractures look exactly the same as the last time we xrayed them a few weeks ago. They aren't moving, they're stable because of the metalwork, but they're not healing either." He said slowly. "My main concern would be the fixation of the femoral fracture. It's not healing, and actually the metalwork that is securing it is coming lose. I'm not surprised that you're struggling to walk on it."

"What does this mean?" Lottie asked nervously. She'd known he wasn't going to tell her it was a miracle and she was cured, but she hadn't expected the situation to sound quite so dire.

He took a breath, turning to face her. "In the short term, we may have to look at doing another surgery to replace the metalwork and refix the femur so it's stable, hopefully less painful, and if we can stabilise it then we hope that it starts to heal."

"And if it doesn't? What does this mean in the long term for me getting back to what I want to do?"

The doctor paused for a moment, considering his words. "Lottie, I know it's not what you want to hear, but we've had this conversation before. Given the extent of your injuries, even if you made something of a miraculous grocery which given the complications this far I'm sorry to say seems incredibly unlikely, the odds of you returning to riding at all, never mind competing at the kind of level you were before.... They're non existent." He told her, handing her a tissue as the tears started streaming down her face. "I'm sorry, and I really wish I had better news for you, but I have to be honest. I think what we need to focus on now is finding out why things aren't healing as they should be, and probably getting that leg reset and stabilised properly which will help make you more comfortable."

"Sorry." Lottie mumbled, wiping at her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. It wasn't anything that she hadn't heard before, but every time she heard them put it quite so bluntly it never got any easier.

"It's a lot to take in." He said kindly. "You've done really well to make it this far, don't forget that. It's a little bit of a setback, but there's things we can do. Let's just focus on getting through this next bit and then we'll see where we are at."

"Okay." She nodded reluctantly, because in all honesty what other choice did she have but to get on with it? "What happens next?"

"Someone will be in touch with you to book a date for the surgery." He explained. "In the meantime, you carry on as you are. I'd hope to get it done in the next couple of weeks. Just don't go pushing it too far, we don't want any more accidents."

"Okay." She agreed, her stomach already flipping at the thought of having to have yet more surgery and go through all that pain again. "I'll wait to hear then."

She hobbled slowly back out into the waiting room, the nurse coming to open the doors for her, to find Flo still sitting in the same spot waiting for her. She jumped to her feet as she saw Lottie coming out, car keys dangling from her fingers.

"How did it go?" Flo asked.

"Fine." Lottie answered quietly. "Can we go?"

"Sure. What's wrong though?" Flo frowned.

"Nothing." Lottie shook her head.

"This is not nothing."

"I'm just tired and sore, Flo." Lottie told her. "I just really need to get home and have a rest. I'm fine, I promise."

"Alright then." Flo agreed. "Do you want me to go and pull the car around so you don't have to walk so far? Will you be okay for five minutes?"

"Yes, please." Lottie nodded. The thought of a five minute walk back to the car was nauseating, so she was beyond relieved to hear Flo's offer.

"Alright, you wait over there by that bench if you get there before me." Flo instructed, breaking into a run as she headed off to the car park.

[bomberqueen17]

realizations

this is just me having medical realizations and again wishing I had someone to help me coordinate my medical care. I hear rumors some people use primary care physicians for this but mine doesn't do that kind of thing, so I'm writing things out here instead.

physical therapy:

shit got so busy last week that i fell off the wagon for the first time. I've only ever missed a single day of the thrice-weekly physical therapy exercises since I was first prescribed them in January; on two occasions I think I've wound up doing them only twice in a week. But last Tuesday, I woke up and did a few of them and then ran out of time, and then worked three twelve-hour days in a row, and a fourth day I worked six hours and then drove four more. And then I was visiting friends and had horrible menstrual cramps. So I just didn't climb back onto the wagon.

I haven't had bad sciatic nerve pain at any point during any of that. Sure, toward the end of the long days on my feet I was taking any opportunity to sit, and I was doing some of the pt stretches, and it's not that the sciatic nerve didn't hurt at all. But it didn't keep me up. And I now am back to a normal level of physical activity, and I slept in a bad position last night and am experiencing no consequences today.

I'll go back to them-- need to figure out today if I have an appointment tomorrow or Thursday first-- and I'm sure not saying the exercises caused the sciatic nerve pain-- but it sure is a fucking data point isn't it.

ADHD meds:

I have managed to take two doses of Ritalin about four times in the last two weeks. It used to be that I would at least really notice the first dose, but I've been faithful enough with it that at this point my body doesn't seem to react to it at all. I can't tell whether I've taken it, most days, and that means I don't notice it wearing off and I don't think to take the second one. I know it shouldn't work like that but it definitely doesn't. There have been days I've forgotten both doses, though, and there's no real difference in those days. And that time I tried to sew those bike shorts was one of my most obvious two-dose days.

I don't need help focusing my attention, which seems to be what the stimulants do. My manifestation of ADHD is not distraction. I have always been able to focus on a task. What I cannot do is initiate a task, change a task, or perform a sequence of tasks that depend on one another, beyond a very simple list structure. Last night I had to entirely admit defeat because coordinating a sequence of tasks was beyond me. It was an embarrassingly simple sequence of tasks: I had to drop my car off for service, and get dinner, and the hardest part was that I had to coordinate a person accompanying me in a second vehicle so I could get a ride home. And there was a time constraint, and I could not do any of it because I could not initiate the task of looking up which takeout restaurants were nearby. "Solve one thing at a time," Dude said, and proceeded to help me, but I said "i can't solve one thing at a time, because if I solve one thing I will not then be able to initiate the solving of the second thing, and then the second problem will derail the rest of my night."

On my own I would not have been able to feed myself dinner, I think. I would have had to abandon that very simple task as unsolvable. I simply could not hold two things in my mind long enough to consider it. It was absolutely stupid.

Relatedly I was trying to figure out how to calculate the sale price of an item, and it was 60% off the listed price, and I know to get 60% of something you multiply it by .6, so I was trying to do that and then subtract the number I got from the original number, and I tried it literally nine times without being able to remember the .6 result long enough to then type it back into the calculator. Yes, I know you can just times it by .4 instead now, and I also know that at any moment I could have gotten up and gotten a piece of paper, or gotten a second calculator, or taken a screenshot, but all of those solutions were so cumbersome and involved me abandoning my initial task that I could not figure out how to use them. I finally asked someone else and they told me the answer and also how to use the times .4 method, which I had considered but wasn't confident enough in.

All of this is related, I think, to me having basically no working memory. I cannot hold a thing in my mind while I contemplate a second thing. And I don't know if any ADHD medication would ever help with that. That is the root of almost all of my problems: I know, from long experience, that I have to continually maintain the single thing I am focused on in my mind, and if I try to think of any second thing, I either can't, or if I succeed, will lose the first thing irrevocably. So i can't use most of the problem-solving skills I know fine well how to use. I can't get fucking anything done. (I give amazing advice, always have, because I've spent a ton of time figuring out how to solve problems and then discovering that I can't actually use any of those methods successfully.) And, I can pretty conclusively state after these several months of experimentation: ADHD stimulant meds have zero effect on this problem.

I don't know if any meds have any effect on this problem. It may well be that there is nothing to be done for my condition, medication-wise. I guess I'm glad I was able to try medication, since it is such a miracle for so many people. I guess I'm just sad it wasn't a miracle for me. But it hasn't addressed any of my problems so I don't see a point in continuing it.

Possibly what I need is some other kind of therapy, some kind of like behavioral therapy or life coaching or something, I don't know. It would help me enormously, I think, to have a lifestyle with a predictable routine and very little dislocation, but that's not possible for me with my current job and life situation. And I don't know how to discover what kind of therapies even exist, and I know the psych provider I've been seeing will not be able to recommend anything in the three minutes we get per meeting. So I might just be out of options, now. But I guess I'm glad at least I tried.

I really wish I had some kind of doctor overseeing all of my medical care I could consult about this, but I don't, I only have the individual specialists. So I'm on my own and I'm just trying to work around my severe memory problems by writing things out, I guess.

Currently I am just going to have to accept that there's literally no way I'm going to be able to figure out how to get to Rochester and back this week, so I'm going to give up on retrieving my critical personal electronics and just wait until I head back to the farm to get them on my way through. Which sucks and I am sad about but I just don't know how to coordinate the logistics and incorporate that into my life, so I'm going to stop worrying about it. This is how I get through things: I just let almost everything go, and live with whatever I can pick up in the aftermath. C'est la vie!

Oh huh you can't add more tags onto posts once you've stopped adding them huh. Fascinating choice, Tumblr.

[hangmanbradshaw]

So when I knew I wanted to write a sports AU, IWTBY and this idea had both been rattling around my brain for a long time. I ended up going with IWTBY (it had been something I'd wanted to write for a long time), but here's the other that almost was? It's clunky, un-edited and half thought out (literally just pulled from the quick bit I wrote all those months ago), but this is what we're going with for day 9! Enjoy

Jake sighed as he stepped off the plane. He knew this was a bad idea, had no clue what he was thinking taking this meeting. He scoffed at himself- Philadelphia of all places. If his old man could see him now, he’d be rolling in his grave, cursing about Cowboys having no place playing for Eagles. Not that Jake had ever even been a Cowboy, but being raised in Texas made that fact irrelevant. 

He was brought out of his musings by a call of his name. He glanced around and found Javy standing and waving to the side near the arrivals door. He smiled as he walked over to him, wrapping his arm around him in a hug. 

“I can’t believe you’re here, man. I thought for sure there was no chance in hell you’d even consider this.” 

“You and me both, Javy.”

“Come on. I know Nat is waiting. I’ll drop you at her office.” He guided Jake towards the exit and out to his car. As they drove downtown, Jake looked out the window and watched the buildings pass by in a blur. He’d never actually spent serious time in Philadelphia, had only played there once or twice since the Eagles weren’t a team usually on his schedule when he was with the Chargers.

They parked in a garage near a tall office building, and Javy guided Jake into the building, hitting the button for the 50th floor once in the elevator. 

“So, are you really thinking about saying yes?” Javy asked as he peered over at him.

He had no clue how to answer that so he merely shrugged. Part of him still didn’t believe this was happening. He thought his career was over, and now here he was standing in an elevator in a new city, discussing potential contract options.

“I know you’re worried. Hell, I would be too if I was you, but man- you are way too talented to not give this a shot.” Javy continued. He tried to catch Jake’s eyes, and held eye contact once he did. “I’m saying this as your best friend and also a fan. What could it hurt?”

Before Jake could answer, the elevator doors opened with a ding. He stepped out and took a deep breath, turning to Javy. “I’ll call you when it’s over, we can grab dinner.” 

“Sure thing. Remember, I’m rooting for you. And for the love of god, at least try to fake a smile. I’d really like to play on a team with my best friend, and I can’t do that if you scowl your way out of this option.” 

Javy stepped back into the elevator as Jake lazily saluted him. With that, he turned on his heel and headed towards Nat’s office. Her assistant was sitting at a desk outside her door, and she looked up when Jake approached.

“Hi, how may I help you?” 

“I’m here to meet with Nat, uh, Miss Trace. I’m Jake…Seresin. She asked me to come in today.” 

“Oh yes, she let me know to expect you. She had to step out for a moment, but you’re welcome to wait in her office.” 

Jake nodded and moved towards the door, slipping inside. He had expected the room to be empty so he really couldn’t be blamed for the minor heart attack he had when he saw a man sitting in the office, lazily scrolling through his phone. The man looked up when he heard Jake let out a totally dignified “Shit!”

“You okay?” The guy asked, looking like he was trying to hold in a laugh.

“Yeah, just wasn’t expecting anyone to be in here.” He stopped, raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. “Who are you?”

The man raised an eyebrow back. “I’m Bradley.”

“What are you doing here?” 

“I could ask you the same. What exactly is Jake Seresin doing here, in a sports agent’s office in Philadelphia?” 

Jake blinked. “You know who I am?”

The man, Bradley, Jake reminded himself, didn’t answer. Instead, he seemed to be thinking through something, and his eyes sparked as he asked “the Eagles?” 

“I’m sorry, can we go back to who are you?”

Bradley looked confused. “I already told you.”

“You know what I mean. Why are you here, in Nat’s office when I’m supposed to be meeting with her?” 

“Well, I conveniently had a meeting with her too at the same time that she also still hasn’t shown up for. Imagine that.” 

He had a look in his eyes like he knew something Jake didn’t. Before Jake could muster up a reply at this bizarre conversation, the door opened, and Nat came flurrying in, coffee in one hand and her cell in the other. She immediately spotted Jake, and smiled.

“Jake! Hi!” She pulled him into a hug then hit him in the arm.

“Ow! What the hell, Nat?”

“That’s what you get for not visiting sooner.” 

“I was busy.”

“You were sulking. And that’s no excuse.”

“Sorry if I didn’t want to see my agent and be reminded of everything.”

She leveled him with a softer look. “I get that, but I’m also your friend, and you can’t disappear like that.” 

He raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. You’re right.” 

She took that as the closest apology she knew she’d get, and nodded. He looked over at Bradley, who was watching the whole thing with a curious quirk of a smile, then back to Nat.

“Oh, sorry.” Nat said, not looking sorry in the slightest. A grin curled at her lips as she said, “Jake, this is Bradley. Bradley, Jake. Although I’m guessing you all got acquainted while waiting.”

“Oh yeah, while you conveniently double scheduled us without even being here?” Bradley leveled her with a look. She gave him a smirk back and Bradley raised his eyebrows at her. Jake could tell they were having some kind of silent conversation, but he was totally lost as to what it was.

“Mmm, scheduling issue, my bad. Total accident.” She smiled a shit eating grin. 

Jake looked between the two and slowly interrupted. “Right…so can we talk about this offer?”

That got her to spring into action. She walked over to her laptop and tapped away, pulling up some files. 

“Okay, I’ve been working with the Eagles office on this for a few weeks now. They want you- it would start at a one year deal, but it’s a solid offer. A decent guarantee, lots of potential bonus opportunities.”

“Nat, I don’t know. Is it worth it to go through all this to sit on a bench all year playing backup?” 

She grinned. “Who said anything about a bench?”

That momentarily stopped him. He opened and closed his mouth. “Starter? No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way.” 

He slowly backed up and reached behind him to find a seat. When he did, he sat down. He genuinely couldn’t believe this. He blinked out of his daze and saw Nat grinning still, and to the side, Bradley was smiling softly.

“I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes, obviously. Then say thank you Nat, you’re the best agent and a friend a guy can ask for.”

“I need to think about it. This…I just didn’t expect this to even be a possibility.” He stopped, furrowed his brow. “I don’t understand- why me? What’s the catch?”

“There isn’t a catch. You’re a hell of a player, and this is a great deal for them.”

“But…the accident.”

She smiled sadly. “Yeah, but they can see what we see- that you’re just as valuable now as you were before. And they want to cash in on that potential. They believe in you, Jake. It’s as simple as that.” 

He momentarily was brought back to a flashback of sirens, red and blue lights, radiating pain in his leg, a doctor telling him he wouldn’t play again, his career up in smoke after only two years. He shook his head, tried to remove himself from the memories. 

“Let me think about it. Can you email me the contract to look over?”

“Of course. But I really think this is the right move for you. A fresh start, new city. You’d be playing with Javy. I’m here. You’d have a support system already, and a team that actually believes in you.” 

Jake hesitated, bit his lip. “I don’t know, Nat. Philadelphia?” 

“I had a feeling you’d need some extra convincing. It’s a good fit for you, trust me, but if anyone can show you some Philly magic, it’s our dear Rooster here.” She nodded towards Bradley. 

“Rooster?” 

Bradley gave Nat a look then smiled back over at Jake. “Nickname. Don’t ask.”

“Oh, I’m definitely asking.”

Bradley hummed and said, “I’ll make you a deal. Let me show you around Philly. If you still hate it at the end and I don’t manage to change your opinion, I’ll tell you.” 

“And if you do happen to succeed? I gotta say, you’re not giving me any incentive to like it.”

“I’ll still tell you. But you have to sign the contract.” 

Jake tapped his arm as he thought it over before asking, “And why do you want me to sign the contract? What are you, a secret Eagles employee or something?”

Bradley quirked an eyebrow at Nat. She sighed and said, “I wasn’t kidding when I told you he doesn’t know baseball.” She directed her gaze back his way and explained, “This is Bradley Bradshaw, star outfielder and hitter for the Phillies. You may remember him as the MVP for the conference last year?” 

“And long time Philly resident. At your service.” He smiled.

Well, Jake felt dumb. “Uh…sorry? My bad. I really don’t follow baseball.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Well, maybe that’s something else we can fix.” He smirked.

“Yeah, or maybe you just need to play a more interesting sport.” 

“Ouch. And here I was, going to show you the best secrets of this city.”

“Which, speaking of- why?” 

Bradley shrugged, but Jake could swear he looked like he was blushing, except that made no damn sense at all.

“I’m an Eagles fan, and also a fan of yours. So yeah, I have ulterior motives. Sue me for wanting us to get a great player.” 

Jake caught Nat roll her eyes in his periphery. He thought he heard her mutter about sure, that’s all it is, but he wasn’t sure.

“Alright. You’re on then. Wow me, Bradshaw.” 

Bradley grinned brightly. It was on.

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: how about kostas thinking his girlfriend forgot his birthday, literally everyone wished him a happy birthday but she didn't, and after training he comes back a little moody but finds a sweet cake baked with his girlfriend apologizing cause she wanted it to be surprise!! (@findingnemosworld)

Word Count: 1085 words

(author's note: thank you for the request my love !! i've been waiting desperately for a kostas request, so this one really inspired me 🫶)

Kostas woke up with a smile on his face. The sun shone through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom he shared with his girlfriend. However, today was extra special. It was his birthday. Kostas loved his birthday. He enjoyed nothing more than spending time with his family and the celebrations that came with the occasion. 

He picked up his phone from his bedside table and began to reply to the mass of birthday wishes. His instagram inbox was the most full. Fans from all over the world took time out of their day to wish him happy birthday. It warmed his heart to know that he was appreciated and supported by so many people.

Kostas turned on his side and gently pulled his girlfriend closer to him. He decided to wake her up by pressing soft kisses onto the skin of her neck. Eventually, Y/N woke up and laid her head on Kostas’ chest.

“Good morning, baby,” she whispered tiredly, “Did you sleep well?”

Kostas was confused. He had expected her to say happy birthday and press a kiss to his lips. He decided not to dwell on it and chalked it down to her early morning tiredness.

“Yes, I slept fine.” He replied, trying not to let his annoyance show.

“Are you sure, you seem irritated?”

“Yes. I’m sure. I need to get ready for training now.”

“Okay my love,” she replied, smiling up at him as he got out of bed.

Kostas just looked away, knowing the hurt would be written across his face. He moved over to the wardrobe to busy himself with getting dressed. Y/N watched him intently. She always said he looked his best in the morning.

Once he was ready to go, he said a brief goodbye to Y/N and left. As he drove to the training ground he mulled over the events of the morning. Surely she hadn’t forgotten his birthday? Y/N was never the type of person to forget important dates. She always remembered every detail about the people she held dear to her.

The drive was over before he knew it. Kostas pulled into a parking space, grabbed his training bag off of the backseat of his car and headed inside the building. 

The AXA training ground was one of Kostas’ favourite places to be. Football had been his passion since he was a small boy playing on the streets of Greece. He never in a million years thought he would be where he was now. The peaceful feeling overtook him as he made his way to the changing rooms.

Pushing open the door, Kostas walked in. “Hello birthday boy!” he heard Andrew cheer.

"Come on everyone, let's sing him a song!"

As his teammates began to sing happy birthday, he felt instantaneously better. At least they had remembered his birthday.

Meanwhile, Y/N felt awful. She knew it was Kostas’ birthday, but in order to surprise him she had to pretend she’d forgotten. She also had to pretend she didn’t see the wounded look on her boyfriend’s face as he came to the conclusion that she really hadn’t remembered his special day.

As soon as Kostas had left the house, Y/N jumped into action. She blew up balloons and littered them down the hallway. She stuck up banners in every room and hung up bunting on the doorways. Once she was satisfied with the decorations, she checked her phone.

Y/N had ordered a custom cake for Kostas from his favourite bakery. She meticulously planned the design before sending her ideas to the bakers. She had finally received the text that told her it was ready for collection.

Pulling on one of Kostas’ hoodies, she set off to the bakery. Once she had arrived, the workers brought the cake out for her to look at. It had a white icing base with blue detailing to reflect the flag of the country he had grown up in. Written on top of the cake was ‘Happy Birthday Kostas!’. Y/N paid for the cake and they packaged it up for her. After thanking them for their help, she began her walk home.

Kostas had just finished training. Luckily for him, the training session hadn’t been too gruelling and he wasn’t too sweaty. He changed out of his athletic gear and into the tracksuit he had arrived in. He then began his journey home.

Pulling into the driveway of his house, he exited the car, locked it and pulled out his house keys. He was still feeling sour from his morning, although the team had done a good job at cheering him up. Unlocking the door, his eyes widened when he saw the decorations. Y/N was sitting at the bottom of the staircase and upon seeing her boyfriend enter the house, jumped up and ran into his arms.

Kostas dropped his bags and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend’s middle. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and smiled down at her.

“Happy birthday handsome,” she said, looking up at him, reciprocating the smile he was directing at her.

"I knew you wouldn't forget."

“How could I forget one of the most special days of the year?”

This elicited a laugh from Kostas as he leant down to give his girlfriend a proper kiss. She smiled into the kiss and when they broke apart, grabbed his hand and began to lead him to the kitchen.

“I have another surprise for you.”

Once she had pulled Kostas into the kitchen, she motioned for him to stand in front of the box on their kitchen counter. Kostas looked up at her, giving her a look that read; should I open it? She nodded at him, urging him to continue.

Unwrapping the ribbon, Kostas pulled the lid of the box open and raked his eyes over the cake that lay inside. Looking up at his girlfriend and back down at the cake again, a warm feeling spread through his body. Kostas had never been so in love with anyone in his life.

He moved over and pulled Y/N into another hug. Once they pulled away, Kostas took a deep breath, “Thank you so much γλυκό κορίτσι. I love you.”

“I love you too, Kostas Tsimkas. I’d never forget your birthday.”

The pair then grabbed forks and sat at their dining table to eat the cake. The cake was not only a symbol of Kostas’ birthday, but a symbol of the love the couple shared.

[secretlythepits]

Atta Girl

We were 2 blocks from home.

There were patches of nasty traffic I had to manage my emotions through. It was effortful.

All day I had seen a bright blue sky I wanted to be under, but most of it was blocked by frosted glass. Late in the day storms came, the blue turned to gloom just in time for us to enter it.

The day was supposed to be 4 hours max, to which I added 2. It was 8 hours, 2 missed meals. And when it was finally time to go, my husband remembered his fmla paperwork and called an administrator as the iv was literally being taken from his arm. We waited for her to come. We had spent 8 hours in the building doing nothing. The nurse offered to hand off the paperwork. My husband wanted to stick around and do it himself. I wanted to scream, but kept it buttoned. We cleared the room so someone else could use it and were back in the lobby. After 15 minutes my husband decided to give it to the nurse after all.

I drove home.

Traffic is extremely stressful for me and always makes me work very hard to calm my nervous system. My husband criticized me for not edging out a driver who was looking to cut me off. I should maintain my lane position and not give an inch, even though it could mean an accident. Even though I still got by without him cutting me off. I let it pass.

Two blocks from home, I should turn here, not up ahead. I say, “Hey, if I’m going to be the driver…”

He cut me off. Dove right into always/never accusations of all time. It quietly dawned on me that he hadn’t thanked me. I adjusted his blankets dozens of times. I helped him to the bathroom probably 10 times. I got his food and drinks. I sat in the itchiness of missing a summer day while he mostly slept. And he didn’t thank me. I feel the need to hear it until I heard its opposite.

I’m so angry. I’m angry that it made my old feelings of resentment at his care because he neglected my care when I had a brain infection for 3 years! I had processed that, but poke deep enough and the wound is still there. I am angry that as a woman no matter what sacrifices I make, it will just be considered my duty as a wife. All sacrifices women make only hurt themselves and are never appreciated as sacrifices because deep down there is a core belief that our lives are supposed to be sacrificed. They are never our own precious possession. I am angry that the choice is: eat sh*t or argue, when all I wanted was to set a simple boundary. I am angry that his side effects will hit in the coming hours and days to and now it’s not easy to just be kind and generous. It’s an effort and burden because I have to tamp down this anger to do it.

And it didn’t need to be hard!

I am angry that I came home and my son hadn’t thawed the food I asked him to take out of the freezer and it was too late, so no good meals all day for me. I am angry that my other son didn’t turn on the damn robot vacuum cleaner like I asked him to so the floors are dirty. I am angry that I texted both kids 10 times each and only got 2 replies. I am angry that breakfast dishes were in the sink and the boxes I told them to move were left to trip over in our entry. I am angry that they are annoyed at me when all they did was play video games all day.

I feel like today should have ended with an atta girl!

But it’s not just my family I’m missing it from. It’s hard for me to feel good about myself when everyone I live with is mad at me. I know they are wrong, but it doesn’t change the vibe. I don’t deserve to sacrifice my whole day for others and then not even get to feel good about it.

I deserve a f**king atta girl!

Thanks, Mom.

You’re the best.

I love you.

I think it’s time I start talking to myself:

Atta girl!

You are welcome.

You’re the best.

I love you.

[justanoasisimagines]

The Joker and The Temptress (1/?)

Summary; After robbing the Mob, Joker crashes into her. His world is turned upside down. He's besotted from the moment they meet. His Temptress, he doesn't know why but he's going to keep her anyway. Pairing; Joker x Female Reader (Temptress) WordCount; 1,659 Warnings; Use of Y/N (Although it won't be in the second part), kidnapping, murder, strong language! A/N; If you liked this, the second part will be posted next Sunday! Also, as always my requests are open! My guidelines are pinned to the top of the page! Credit to cafekitsune for the banners and the divider!

A busy Arkham street in the middle of the day can appear to be like any other. Taxis deliver people to their destination. People talk animatedly amongst themselves. Traffic was hectic.

However, for Y/N it was anything but. Her heart raced as she pushed through and swerved people on the sidewalk, keeping her face forward.

She could feel his presence lurking behind her like a monster in the night. She broke out into a light jog in an attempt to gain some distance between them. She was in danger. No safe place to go. No visible place to hide.

Running from a crazed ex wasn't something she'd intended to do today. Yet a decision to have a sandwich for lunch had forced her to this. Then she found herself running again. As history decided to repeat itself.

She'd gotten away once. She could do it again.

Joker pressed hard on the horn. Paitence wearing thin. He needed to get away. No one decided to move. In a fit of rage, he slammed his fists down on the steering wheel three times, before he decided to swerve into the other lane of traffic, pressing hard on the accelerator at the side of a clear road.

As Joker drove down the long straight, he relished in the freedom. He'd be gone in no time. When a woman carelessly wandered into the road. It was clear she wasn't paying attention. Her head turned back. Unaware a speeding bus was heading towards her.

Joker had been focused on his mission A pang in his heart. Stop! His mind told him. She was a beauty. A shining light. A beacon.

He had to have you.

The bus collided with her forcing her to the ground. Joker wasn't concerned. The hit wasn't too hard. Joker opened up the double doors as he exited, taking one step at a time.

Y/N's eyes flickered up. Her body was sore, and her ankle hurt. Her eyes flickered over to the side, her ex stalking towards her. Someone cast a shadow, she glanced up a man in a blue suit wearing clown makeup loomed over her.

Could someone give her a fucking break?

With all her might, she attempted to drag herself away. She couldn't give up now. Her attempt was futile. The clown pulled her into his arms, she was quick to fight back, throwing and flailing her arms and legs around. Who did he think he was grabbing her like that?

Joker remained conflicted. He didn't know what he was doing. Which was usual, but he'd never felt himself so compelled to protect another person before. She struggled against him, as his grip tightened.

"Oi, don't you touch her." Joker rolled his eyes in response. Now her actions were explainable. She was running from him.

"I don't have time for this. So I'm going now." Joker intended to walk away. The woman trembled in his arms. When the man stepped forward, she leaned into Joker. There were no other options available to her. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Literally.

"Drop her freak." Joker's next movements were swift. Placing the woman down on the bonet of the bus. He caged her in his arms. She leaned back in response.

"Shh, Shhh, Shh. I'm not gonna hurt you, Sweetheart. Are you running from him?" She nodded. Joker turned swiftly, he placed his hand in his pocket.

"Now give her to me."

"She's mine now." In a fit of rage, the man launched himself into Joker's space. The man lunged at Joker who at the last moment pulled the knife from his pocket. Staggering back, the man's face dropped as he covered his stomach. Joker crossed the short distance, as he stabbed the man repeatedly. Until he dropped to the ground.

Y/N's screams were piercing.

Joker turned back to her. From paralyzed by fear to utter desperation. Desperate to get away, she launched herself off of the bonnet, landing on her sprained ankle. She fell to the ground in pain. Yet she stood and attempted to hop away. Joker stood back and admired her. He liked her fire.

"Sweetheart, don't you run from me, I'm not gonna hurt you. Besides I killed him for you." Joker captured her in his arms, she thrashed around.

"I like that fire in you Sweetheart." Joker's raspy voice whispered into her ear. Her blood ran cold. Her fight and desperation became rejuvenated as she screamed and battled.

The crowd did nothing.

Joker would have torn them down either way. His brain was conflicting. He couldn't think straight. What was he doing? Why had he become so taken with her?

Joker didn't know. He was going to protect her; anyone who dared to hurt her would perish.

Stepping onto the bus, he dragged her to the driver's seat. As he took a seat, his arms tightened around her waist. Positioning his feet on the accelerator and brake. Using one hair, he moved the hair away from her shoulder.

"Have you driven a bus before?" Y/N shook her head. "You're about to. Turn on the ignition." Y/N's hands trembled as she turned the key. "Good, good. Now I'm gonna control the pedals, while you drive the bus. This is gonna be so much fun!" With no choice. No route of escape, she placed her hands on the wheel. "Keep going straight. There we go!" Joker rested his head on the top of her shoulder, slowly tapping on her hip.

"Forgive me beautiful, I didn't ask for your name. My name is Joker, but I'd prefer it if you call me J." Y/N swallowed, her throat dry. "Come on sweetheart." "Y/N" "Beautiful name for a beautiful woman I'm going to give you a name for me and me only. What should it be? Turn right here." Joker contemplated for several moments. It had to roll off the tongue, something fiery. It had to show everyone she belonged to him. Darling? No? Treasure? Way too plain. Beautiful? She is beautiful and even though he'd cut anyone who called her that. But no! Buttercup? Sugar? Wildcat? Little Mouse? No! No! No! No! A lightbulb might as well have lit over Joker's head. Temptress. She'd lured him in. She called to him. Temptress indeed.

"Temptress." It was smooth off of Joker's tongue. For another forty-five minutes, they drove in silence. They drove until they reached a dust-abandoned lockup. "If you run, I'll catch you. I'm going to place you right here while I'll lock this away." Joker proceeded to haul the duffle bags into the lockup. Temptress did not move. Temptress looked around the old lock-up. Joker had placed her on a piece of wall. There is no point in attempting to escape. She couldn't run, she had no idea where she was. Her shoulders slumped she leaned forward resting her elbows on her thighs. One moment she was fleeing her deranged ex, the next she'd been hit by a bus with a man wearing clown makeup who called himself the Joker. Said man didn't think twice about murdering her ex in the middle of the day? Was she having a nightmare? She tapped the side of her head several times. A pair of hands overtook hers, blocking her from hitting herself any longer. She didn't look up, she knew who it was. He'd quickly become infatuated, but what would happen if he grew tired of her? Surely he'd kill her.

"No, no Sweetheart, you or no one else gets to hurt you," Joker remarked as she glanced up at him. His brown eyes had softened a little. "What about you?" Temptress didn't know where the courage had come from. Joker felt thrilled it was the most he'd heard her talk. Her voice was angelic, a beautiful melody he'd longed to hear. Joker made a mental note to get her to talk more. It was going to take time. She needed not to fear him first. Joker grabbed Temptress's face by the chin. She refused to look at him. Eyes moving around, not focusing on a particular area. Using both hands, he forced her to look at him. "Look at me Temptress…Look at me." Her eyes landed on his brown ones. His rough calloused thumb rubbed her cheek. "I'm not a planner. I'm like a dog chasing a car. If I caught in I don't know what I'd do with it, but you are something special. I don't know why. I don't know how but all I know is you and me are something. I'm not gonna hurt you as long as you don't run. Don't run from me." Temptress nodded as he raised from his crouched position.

Joker needed to locate a safe space to sleep. His usual spaces were no place for someone as special as his Temptress. He'd also need medical supplies the ankle needed to be strapped. He needed something. He couldn't take her to her in case the cops were watching. "Temptress, we need to go find a place to lay low for a while. Someplace safe." Temptress glanced up at him, she knew a place. There was no way he'd ever agree to it. Her hand tapped on her leg repeatedly observing every move. She knew there was no getting away. She couldn't control a thing, yet perhaps he could listen to her if she brought up a viable suggestion. "I know a place." Joker's eyes snapped up as he approached her slowly stalking his prey. "Go on." She swallowed attempting to locate some salavia for her dry throat. "I have a house located in the woods. It's supposed to be a holiday home, but I always keep it stocked with clothes, and food just in case things get bad in the city" Joker's eyes widened. His Temptress was already proving useful. Now all he had to do was get them both there.