#literally debating going back there and staying there exclusively

[tsunamis-for-uzumaki]

Tips for making actually cheap punk clothes from someone that has spent a maximum of $11 on any specific project over 3 years:

Bottle caps make AMAZING pins. There's countless ways to make bottlecap pins, but I mainly do it by 1) filling the cap with hot glue and 2) gluing a safety pin to the back. It's up to the individual. But the point is: Save bottlecaps.

DRINK CANS ARE AMAZING FOR MAKING SPIKES! Any aluminum can works - Monster cans, beer cans, etc. - all you have to do is cut off the tops and bottoms; make it a flat sheet; cut the metal into small semicircles; and roll it into cones. They stay in place easily with hot glue, and when you put them onto anything, they look just as good as store-bought.

Save Can Tabs. They can be put onto jackets, made into chains, earrings, necklaces, or anything else you want.

Literally anything can be made punk. Jeans, cargo pants, denim jackets, t-shirts, shoes, hoodies - the sky's the limit. Don't let these tiktok punks tell you that only their $80 Social Distortion pants and $120 denim jackets can be punk. Any clothes you pull out of a dumpster can be punkified.

Old T-shirts that no longer fit and have a design on them can be cut out and made into backpieces. Band shirts are particularly great for this, so if you thrift a Motorhead shirt that's too small, you can cut out the design and sew it onto a jacket and bam - you've got an exclusive piece of merch.

This one's more of an opinion, but: If you're patching up a jacket, sew the patches onto the outside of the jacket. If you're patching up pants, create holes where you want the design, and sew the patches from the inside of the pants.

Do research. If a "thrift store" calls itself a cheap alternative store, but has $50 jeans, it's not a thrift store. It's a vintage reseller, and the clothes are almost always WAY overpriced.

Shoplift carefully. Go somewhere you don't usually go - a large chain like Walmart or Target or Staples, not a local business - and take small things. Don't go somewhere that you're a regular at, or shoplift multiple times in a short period of times, or do too much at once. You will develop a track record and have more of a chance of being caught. However, the workers don't get paid less for you stealing, and the big suits in corporate won't notice or care about a missing pack of dental floss.

Experiment! Have fun with it! I've been Frankenstein-ing my jacket for years and counting - I've taken off the sleeves, added new sleeves, painted on it, put patches on it, added pins, anything you can think of. Be loud, be ugly, be weird, be happy.

If you have a painted patch or spot on pants/a jacket/whatever and it's old, but you want to take it off now, or if you just made a mistake, acetone can get pretty much any amount and age of paint out of any fabric. By acetone, I mean most nail polish removers or rubbing alcohols.

Now, I hate buying things for making punk clothes, but there are a few things that, in my opinion, are investments that last FOREVER. This includes: Hot glue guns; nail polish remover (for the last tip, mainly); paint pens and containers of paint (fabric or not); sharpies; dental floss or just normal thread; fabric scissors; and SAFETY PINS. None of them are very expensive, but they'll come in handy for years.

ESPECIALLY SHARPIES. That's the one thing I won't debate is a perfect investment. You can get a set of 12 colors or 12 black ones for like $9, and you can use them for EVERYTHING. The color also won't bleed when washed, as opposed to most pens and markers.

SAFETY PINS ARE A FASHION STATEMENT IN AND OF ITSELF. They're super useful in making clothes and jewelry, they're cheap and easy to find, and just nice to line the hems of your pants with.

When you make a square patch, fold in the edges slightly so that the edges don't fray. This makes it slightly harder to sew on, but it keeps the patch in good condition for longer - unless the idea is to look tattered. Then don't.

Don't be afraid to add something random and weird to your clothing because "oh people are gonna see it and know I like this weird niche thing" - that's the whole point! It's an expression of who YOU are, not what people want you to be. If people - especially other punks - judge you for it, fuck them. Unless...

No swastikas, no iron crosses, no symbols of oppression, no TERF shit. I'd say that's the only rule of punk - to say "oppression is punk" is going against everything punk stands for. Of course, if you do it anyways, you should at least know you deserve the beating you get at a basement show attended by underpaid and rage-filled faggots.

Of course, these are just mine, and there's plenty more that I do not know. If you've got your own way of doing things that goes against mine, that's awesome. But if you need to start somewhere as a kid punk, I hope this helped.

[eoieopda]

[svt as fuckboi archetypes]

disclaimer: don’t take it seriously. i was having a convo. with my sister about my truly tragic dating history, and now we’re all going to hold hands n process it together.

seungcheol: big “air mattress on the floor” energy. his gaming set-up is expensive and immaculate, but he’ll be goddamned if he spends a dime on — idk — a bed frame, for example. don’t sit on his chair, though, because it’s specifically angled for his lumbar-support needs.

jeonghan: the “i quit” dude at the show who still consistently asks to bum both a cigarette and a light. you’re not getting that lighter back, and he will not, in fact, “get you back” for the uber back to yours or the take-out he weasels out of you on the way. he’ll charm you out of caring about it, too :’(

joshua: it’s giving ���anyway, here’s wonderwall”. why did he even bring his guitar to this party? you don’t know, and you’re not gonna ask because the answer will make you want to fuck him less, and you really, really want to fuck him.

junhui: the one that passes out immediately after sex, leaving you trapped in that “….should i…. leave? is staying…. fine?” liminal space. he wakes up in the middle of the night, wakes you up, and informs you that you chose wrong and “should probably head out” because he has to work in the morning.

wonwoo: the one that turns every conversation into a debate. you may have a literal degree in xyz, but he is serving fresh takes™️, so listen up, diva! the dick game is god-tier, though, so you’re just going to mentally replace the sound of his voice with a different muppet’s in every conversation and wait for him to shut up <3

soonyoung: the house guest!!! he’s going to miss every single hint you drop about wanting to sleep alone. he’s going to leave a sweatshirt in your drawer so he can be comfortable next time. he doesn’t do “one-night-stands”; he does residencies. hope you didn’t have other plans this weekend :/ (eta: i wrote a fic based on this head canon — sweatshirt season, posted 10/29/23 — which you can read here!)

woozi: he asks if he can say “i love you” during sex because it gets him hot, and then he later informs you that you can no longer hook up because things are “moving too fast”.

dokyeom: you’ve been hooking up for a few weeks, and now he’s babbling about wanting to go to xyz place with you at some point in the distant future. he says it like he’s deadass about it, then looks at you funny if you ask him to get drinks tomorrow night. good luck, charlie!

mingyu: the stage-five clinger. he’s never had a fuck buddy before, and it shows. he has no idea what this dynamic is supposed to be despite a) suggesting it in the first place, b) numerous conversations about it, and c) repeated affirmations that he isn’t looking for a relationship. but he’s PRETTY, okay??

minghao: halley’s comet has nothing on this mf. he dm’s you once a year, you have the best night of your life, then he is gone girl for the next 364. you and your friends have a bet going in the group chat to see how many consecutive months he’ll leave you on read.

seungkwan: the one that has never — not even once — asked you a personal question. that’s not to say he doesn’t talk; he never stops. you’ve learned everything about him (his home phone number from childhood, the names of all his coworkers + his thoughts about them), against your will. frankly, you’re not sure if he even remembers your name atp because he relies exclusively on a generic pet name.

vernon: he talks a big game about meeting up, missing you, etc., but when the plans are laid, he “fell asleep, i’m so sorry, i’m just now seeing this!! :(” you washed your hair for this? rip.

dino: the foster puppy!!! he’s an emotionally unavailable, certifiable mess when you get him. you clean him up, train him, and the second he gets his shit together, he’s off. he’s found his forever home, and he’s coincidentally getting married on your birthday. sorry, bestie!!

[angelkittycore]

not to invite discourse but after i've been on tumblr solely for a few months after leaving twitter i've sorta let go of a lot of things that i was vehemently against and my opinion HAS shifted a bit.

(just saying straight away that you're welcome to engage with me on this topic but i am not seeking to incite arguments, fighting, or heated debate whatsoever and you're not likely to get me to change my mind on this. also if you're going to yell at me for using the term monosexuality please shut up and stay in your lane. if your first thought to reading that word is "bisexuals are being homophobic" then you have a biphobia issue.)

so it's not that bi lesbians/gays don't exist, i think their experiences are very much real. it's just the choice of contradictory labels, and the inherent biphobia, lesbiphobia, and taking self-autonomy from both bisexual men and women by attributing our entire bi rights movement to being a product of terf lesbian separatists, that i have a problem with.

terfs/political lesbians/gold star lesbians did spur an exodus of bisexual women from the umbrella of lesbian, but what came after was all us. and i both feel and think that it was a natural evolution of the communities because bisexuality is more than just women who love women and men, it's also men who love men and women. and nonbinary, abinary, trans, cisn't, gnc, and whatever else. (not to say that the last few aren't also included in monosexuality but i'm talking about bisexuality here.)

attributing the fight for our rights and voices to be heard solely to terfs is ahistorical and insulting. the want to be seen as a whole, valid, separate identity and community than both lesbian and gay has absolutely 0 to do with terfism and similarly aligned political bullshit (such as fascism/white supremacy/plain ol transphobia.)

wanting to go back to lesbian being an umbrella term for all lesbians and bi women feels way too traditionalist and downright conservative (in terms of the literal meaning of the word) for the lgbt/queer community. it's not about challenging cishetalloamatonormativity by simply existing or being unapologetically queer in a word that wants to stamp us out violently in this regard, it's wanting to reclaim a space and label that is no longer theirs because they feel entitled to do so.

to me, lgbt/queer progress is about growing and changing, and adapting to the world, and thriving in spite, and despite it all. and not clinging to relics of the past, however recent or not it was. as some examples, the meaning of asexuality has changed from its original coining. same as bisexual, and pansexual has gone through it's fair share of bullshit as well. why can't and why shouldn't lesbian do the same? however i do not feel that a change backwards is a change for the better.

as an another example, lesbian also used to mean homosexual women exclusively attracted to homosexual women but now it includes every flavor of nonbinary you can think of, who may or may not be women, women aligned, or even feminine at all.

lesbian no longer includes bisexuality under it and that should be okay. lesbian is a monosexual label, and that's okay. you do not experience bisexuality by also being attracted to similar/same genders, regardless of binary or nonbinary umbrella. because bisexuality, inherently, means attraction to similar/same AND opposite/different genders. (note, my descriptions here also includes xenogenders, alternative alignment systems, etc. it's up to the individual if they want to be included in any attraction, including lesbian, gay, bisexual+, and straight. grouping a wider group under lesbian attraction just because they are nonbinary is inventing a trinary and misgendering at worst.)

on the reverse, having a preference, however strong, does not make you a lesbian, or a monosexual gay. you are still experiencing bisexuality, you just have a preference. that is all. not everybody is bisexual, and not everybody is monosexual, and that's okay.

(should also note that comphet doesn't make a lesbian bisexual.. that's comphet.)

anyway tl;dr i think the language, terms, and labels you use you justify your valid experiences is.. not great, to put it politely, lol. i think your insistence that you should be able to call yourself bisexual or a lesbian when you're the other has problems stemming from misunderstanding both labels and attractions, and misunderstanding what exactly nonbinary is. i've also seen definitions of bisexual lesbians that say they are bisexual because they are also attracted to trans women which is.. do i have to say it?

anyway bisexual is not a dirty word or attraction. bi is beautiful, and the convoluted ways people try to get out of identifying as bisexual or solely as bisexual (if they are allo) is internal biphobia, which is not something to celebrate or be proud of. you should work through it.

[seeminglyseph]

watching Danny Motta Anime Reactions has become a way to like. relive a bunch of anime I've watched and loved already, and maybe don't feel like rewatching alone. I'm watching his FMA: Brotherhood series right now, and it's wild watching someone experience Fulmetal Alchemist blind. I literally started the series in 2003 which is not intended as like some kind of "before it was cool" brag, because I feel like FMA hit the ground running, like I literally don't think there was ever a "before" with FMA, it was always cool and always a hit for as long as there was awareness of it. There's no way to really have that superiority because it's like... so hype that anyone who's gonna be into it kinda just needs to give it a long enough to chance to get into it and they're trapped, the only problem is that sometimes it gets so hype that people will avoid it due to the hype. Which is valid. Sometimes you can kill interest with hype harder than apathy.

Like the harder people recommend something the less you wanna watch it. that's a valid situation. It can be one of the best things in the world, but just because so many people love it can be the reason you have trouble watching it. That's been one of my main struggles watching Twin Peaks. I wanna but so many people love it so much that I just feel overwhelmed by it. (Plus it's now exclusively on Paramount+ and I feel like I should buy a box set instead and just have physical media, but I'm apathetic to spending money on it when I've been trepidatious to actually commit watching it.)

But watching FMA:B clips with the commentary of someone watching it for the first time is kinda bringing back that joy of having watched it for the first time. Even knowing Ed's VA is a creep I used be a fan of and met multiple times at conventions because I was a teen and that was a thing... That's something I can just purge from my memory because I'm watching through someone else's perspective. What early 2000s anime culture of that one voice actor being just the worst continuing for way too long? It's settled now maybe. I don't want to think about it. aaaaaaaaa

I'm going to think about Everything Else Instead. I wish I could take Romi Park from the Japanese version and everything else from the dub. I really enjoy dubs. I'm a sucker for dubs and weird localizations. I'm not sorry for that. I do think there are some things that are wrong for localizers to do, but some of the weird shit people complain about that are just quirks of dialogue or Westernization that still leaves the sub a completely valid option to turn to if you want that for the original interpretation I think is really fun. Dubs are for a Western Audience and will often have quirks and shit for a Western Audience that stays loyal in tone and subject, but adapts language usage and dialogue for a more natural feeling. "Bitches, Bros and Nonbinary hoes" is fine. I think Simulcast is hindering some of the intricacies of the localization process because it's like rush and crunch. but like... it's not "progressivisim" ruining anime. It's rush jobs and lack of research time. And maybe sometimes the fact that people have really strict views of gender that allows only for a binary of "Male or Female" so that one book about a man who expresses himself in female dress became a book about a trans woman because the localizer themselves had a strict binary view of gender roles and specifically made an error in interpretation which has caused a lot of problems based entirely on the fact that now there's a bunch of bullshit about gender roles getting argued when nobody has all the information and half the people having the argument are arguing over the actual gender queer people trying to point out that they would really rather not be the subject of your heated debate about whether femboy is a slur. like literally just be normal. We thought we were past whether it was okay for a boy to wear a dress but now suddenly that boy needs to be a girl and that's a lot of pressure and the opposite of like. what we wanted with the whole like. freedom of expression thing. that's not regressive. But that was like. One issue that got blown up way too big. Same with that one line about the Patriarchy in Dragon Maid. like.

Shit. It's a single fucking line that landed a little poorly. like. yeah it doesn't really work for the character. And some of the like. SJW stuff is a little clumsy but like... the way some people bitch about it online it's like localizers are just makin' anime all super 2012 tumblr discourse machines. But for the most part it's just... uh. Localized. Surprise. They make local references that's what localization is for. sometimes it hits, sometimes it misses. that's how it works. maybe you should watch some old ADV localizations and maybe you'll calm down. Those were fucking batshit and I loved them. Everyone talks about High School of the Dead's improbably titty physics, but what about it's fucking insane dub. "This is Dolce and Gabbana, you bitch!" or whatever that bitch's line was. Old School Dubs were wild, embrace chaos. It's fun.

Though I do prefer if they just use Japanese honorific systems. Whenever Japanese honorific systems try to get translated to something else it never works. It's a system that just doesn't translate to English well. Also sometimes with names I will give up pronunciation for sentence flow. I know that sounds blasphemous but sometimes when actors try too hard for pronunciation you can feel it like someone badly trying to shift gears in an automatic car. like they suddenly shift into a different language mid sentence and it's like... mmm should've practuced satubg tgat naturally in an English sentence a few more times because we went to a different tonal range for that one. like how if there's an English borrow word in Japanese they don't say it like an English word, they say it like a Japanese word? like... Sometimes you gotta figure out a way to work those syllables into an English sentence without breaking flow. I dunno how but it just hits like a truck when it doesn't. But that's my weird anime dub pet peeve.

[twiceasfrustrating]

Hey I know request last are closed but your my favourite writer and I was wondering if you could do an angst for Beelzebub that compares mc to being so disgusting he would rather eat Solomons food? Please make it really heart breaking. If you don’t I’m really sorry for wasting your time and I apologies sincerely

I'm about to sound like a raging bitch, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm too annoyed to play nice in internet land today. I would normally just delete this request and move on, but it just happened to be my last straw.

Requests are closed. They've been closed for weeks. You even acknowledge that they are CLOSED. Yet, for some reason, you still feel the need to drop one in my inbox? As if you are above the rules or boundaries I set? Did you think that would make me more likely to take it? Because, spoiler alert, it does the exact opposite.

I even said this not that long ago to a different anon.

I gave that anon the benefit of the doubt because I got their ask not long after posting they were closed, so it's possible (in retrospect) that they were marked open when they started sending the ask but I closed them before they sent it officially. I am more than happy to look at requests when they are open, but I don't give a shit about the ones sent when they are closed.

IT IS LITERALLY MY FIRST RULE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I usually just delete requests that people send when they aren't open, but this one just pisses me off in a special way because you explicitly state that you know they are closed but you just really had to send yours for some reason. It's like a slap in the face.

"I know request are closed but I was wondering if I could ignore that fact and do what I want anyway regardless of the answer because my own desires are more important than your stated boundaries." That's how this reads to me.

You don't know why my requests are closed. Maybe I'm busy irl, maybe I'm going through something, maybe I just don't want to write or plan or edit an entire fic that gets distressingly little feedback for the amount of time I put into it, maybe I want to work on more personal fics than requests, or maybe it doesn't matter what the reason is because it's really easy for you to just not send anything when they are closed. In fact, it takes less time than it did for you to type this request.

While we're at it, fuck this too.

It says a lot that some people can't be bothered to check what people's limits are and just toss things at them for some fucking reason. Do y'all think your above their boundaries and limits? Do you think if you ask nicely enough you can manipulate your way into convincing them to make you something?

I am not a content machine, no matter how much I seem to produce. I am a person with an actual life outside of writing whatever people send my way. I have rules for a reason. I have a request status for a reason. I do not care how "nice" or "polite" you think you sound when you send something someone explicitly does NOT want; the fact you sent it is already rude as fuck.

I don't care if I sound rude in this. I really do not. I care that I make it clear that I have boundaries and rules in my space/blog and if you can't follow them I don't want you. I don't want someone who thinks my limits are a suggestion rather than something to be respected, especially when you knowingly trample on them.

This was just my breaking point because some of y'all have been testing me and other writers/artists lately with your lack of respect for the people you claim to like. It's fucking gross. We are not machines creating shit for your amusement. We are human beings sharing something we like to do with you.

Get that through your head and respect the rules.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Bill Gates will kill us all

2.5b people in Earth's 130 poorest countries have not been vaccinated. The 85 poorest countries won't be vaccinated until 2023. The humanitarian cost is unforgivable - and self-defeating, as each infected person is a potential source of new strains.

https://www.who.int/director-general/speeches/detail/who-director-general-s-opening-remarks-at-the-media-briefing-on-covid-19-5-february-2021

How the actual fuck did this happen?

What happened to the early pledges by governments, the WHO, public health experts and leading research institutions to create global cooperation in vaccine development, eschewing patents and secrecy so that we could rescue our species?

That dream was smashed.

Many people helped create our vaccine apartheid, the single individual who did the most to get us here is Bill Gates, through his highly ideological "philanthropic" foundation, which exists to push his pitiless doctrine of unfettered monopoly.

It was Gates who sabotaged the WHO Covid-19 Technology Access Pool (C-TAP), replacing it with his failed ACT-Accelerator, a system of patents and secrecy and vast profits for the pharma industry, ornamented with nonbinding, failed promises of access for poor nations.

It was Gates who convinced Oxford to renege on its promise of patent-free access to its publicly funded vaccine research for the global south in favor of exclusive patent access for Astrazeneca.

https://khn.org/news/rather-than-give-away-its-covid-vaccine-oxford-makes-a-deal-with-drugmaker/

When we hear ghoul sellouts like Howard Dean pushing the racist, genocidal lie that "patents don't matter" because brown people in poor countries can't make vaccines, we're hearing Gates's talking points:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/08/howard-dino/#the-scream

Gates's role in vaccine apartheid is laid out in exquisite detail in Alexander Zaitchik's outstanding New Republic feature, which delves into Gates's longstanding project to sideline democratic governments and cooperation in favor of monopoly tyranny.

https://newrepublic.com/article/162000/bill-gates-impeded-global-access-covid-vaccines

This goes way, way back. I mean, *waaaay* back, all the way to 1976, when Gates wrote his infamous "Open Letter to Hobbyists," decrying the dominant, cooperative mode of software development and calling its practitioners thieves.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_Letter_to_Hobbyists

Gates's fortune depended on creating a software monopoly, and that monopoly required "intellectual property" protection. Gates has always been a monopolist, and so naturally, he loves IP (before "IP" was a common term, copyrights and patents were called "monopolies").

Intellectual property is a very important part of the inequality story, the story of how we got to a world where billions of people are denied vaccines and where all people face new, more virulent strains as a result.

As UNCTAD chief economist Richard Kozul-Wright told Lynn Fries for GPE: "[IP allows companies] to grab a larger share of what has already been produced in the economy."

It's a means of extracting rents, not for doing things, but for OWNING things.

IP is key to tax avoidance: companies like Ikea transfer "IP" (the Ikea trademark) to a numbered company in a tax haven; each national Ikea subsidiary pays "licensing fees" for the trademark equal to 100% of their in-country profits, so they never earn a (taxable) cent.

The transformation of the world into a monopolized system of IP-heavy, rent-extracting, tax-dodging companies really kicked into gear after 1999, with the signing of the WTO agreement and its IP adjunct, the TRIPPS, and as Zaitchik details, Gates was instrumental there.

For this part of the story, Zaitchik talks to Jamie Love, who was at the UN when NGOs like his were pushing to create vaccine and other pharma pools for the global south, while pharma companies handed out pamphlets bearing the Gates Foundation logo, smearing the plan.

Though the US delegation struggled for credibility, the combination of the Gates Foundation, and former US trade officials fronting for  the global pharma industry managed to sideline the project, which was being driven by the demand for equitable access to AIDS drugs.

With Gates's help, the WTO emerged as an IP enforcement powerhouse. Zaitchik cites Dylan Mohan Gray: "it took Washington 40 years to threaten apartheid South Africa with sanctions and less than four to threaten the post-apartheid Mandela government over AIDS drugs."

Incredibly, the Gates Foundation used this to burnish its humanitarian image: they solicited donations from pharma companies and used them to subsidize AIDS drugs in the global south, a maneuver that let them seem like philanthropists.

When in reality, they had overseen a program to systematically deny the world's poorest and most threatened people the right to make their own drugs, making them dependent on the whims of multinational corporate charity instead.

Sound familiar? Today, Gates runs around repeating the lie that poor people can't make their own medicine,  saying that patent exemptions won't make a difference now - to the extent he's right, the world *now* is the crucial one.

Having sabotaged the efforts by poor countries to engage in the kind of production ramp-up the rich world saw as vaccines were being developed, it may *now* be too late. "Because of my bad ideas *then*, it's too late *now*."

The connection between IP and elite philanthropy is deep and important. IP's rent-seeking and tax-dodging has made poor countries beholden to offshore monopolists in health, agriculture and IT, and then starved them of taxes to build up domestic alternatives.

This, in turn, makes them dependent on "gifts" from the billionaires who arm-twisted them into IP treaties, forced them to pay rent on all domestic production, and then profit-shifted the funds out of the reach of their tax-collectors.

As Anand Giridharadas reminded us in his seminal "Winners Take All," the core purpose of elite philanthropy has been the same since the robber-baron era: to burnish the reputations of monsters who take everything and give back crumbs.

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/11/10/winners-take-all-modern-philanthropy-means-that-giving-some-away-is-more-important-than-how-you-got-it/

Reading Jamie Love's quotes in Zaitchik's article reminded me of my own time working with Jamie and Knowledge Ecology International at WIPO in Geneva, when I was an NGO delegate to a global DRM treaty.

You see, at WIPO, the vast majority of NGOs aren't human rights organizations or other public interest groups - they're industry associations representing tech, entertainment, broadcast and pharma monopolists.

These guys - almost all guys - were just aghast when real NGOs started showing up for these meetings and were absolutely shameless in their sabotage of our efforts to balance their corporate lies (absolutely bald-faced lies were routinely entered into the debates).

How petty? Well, they had been accustomed to writing up "fact-sheets" for the day's debate and handing them off to WIPO staffers working for the secretariat, who would photocopy them and set them out on literature tables for the national delegates.

So we started doing this too: we'd take careful notes on the day's debates, convene with global experts to debunk industry association lies, get our Indymedia friends to translate them into six languages, and hand them off to the secretariat in the morning for copying.

So they got the secretariat - a former US textiles negotiator who made her bones helping create the conditions for slave labor in places like Bangladesh - to end the practice of photocopying papers for all NGOs.

Of course the industry bodies had cushy offices in Geneva, whereas we stayed in flophouses and youth hostels. They could ask their underlings to come in early and do their copying for them, whereas we had to take a bus to the all-night copy-shop to get our handouts copied.

Here's where it gets super-weird: our handouts started to go missing. We'd set out our stacks of paper on the literature tables before the morning session and an hour later, they'd all be gone, but none of the delegates had managed to get a copy.

We found those missing handouts...in the garbage, behind potted plants and in the *toilets*.

No, seriously.

And here's the kicker: during the ensuing furore, the main response from the pharma lobbyists was to object to us calling ourselves "public interest NGOs."

I'll never forget this smarmy sociopath in his expensive suit, with his shit-eating grin, standing there saying, "Phamaceuticals serve the public interest, and our industry association is a nonprofit. We are a non-profit, public-interest NGO."

It was a remarkable sight. 20 years later, their version of the public interest - the doctrine of Gates - has produced a multi-billion-person reservoir of the sick and vulnerable who are doomed to serve as factories for highly virulent variants.

This is a literally genocidal doctrine, and it threatens our very civilization. It's a funny kind of non-profit, public interest move for an industry and its billionaire ideologue funders to have made.

But hey, at least no one's "intellectual property" took a hit.

[jade-qilin]

savanaclaw w/ a vegetarian partner headcanons | twisted wonderland

notes: i, leona’s girlfriend, am back with some silly headcanons because i crave Leona content, and then i decided to throw in the other beastmen lol. anyway this is just how i’d predict they’d react!

i also chose Savanaclaw specifically as they are all beastmen inspired by carnivorous animals. i might make an Octavinelle version since the Octatrio probably have heavily meat/fish-based diets (since they’re based on carnivorous animals too!)

details & content warnings: no gendered pronouns used for reader, reader isn’t described as Yuu/can be described as someone else, reader’s vegetarianism is described as a personal choice rather than for religious or health reasons

•••

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:

at first he’s like “when i called you an herbivore, i didn’t think you were literally one”

then he’s like “wtf how can you not want to eat meat? it’s the best thing ever.”

will probably nag at you about it for awhile. all you have to do is tug at his ear threateningly or scold him the way a mama cat would hiss at her kittens to teach them a lesson and he’ll shut up real fast

try not to be mad at him too much though </3 the man’s just very surprised and curious

being a beastman with the nature of a carnivorous apex predator, surrounded by other lion beastmen his entire life, vegetarianism where he’s from is quite rare, especially if you’re not a mouse or a zebra beastman or whatever

after getting over the culture shock that there are some people in the world who willingly give up meat, Leona starts to think

how do you get enough protein?? iron?? other nutrients commonly found in meats but not fruits or vegetables??

his decides to ask you how you do it, how do you maintain a relatively balanced diet while getting the nutrients and fillings you needed

from then on, his eyes are opened to the world of supplements and unique foods commonly used to replace meat, and that also supply nutrients mostly exclusive to meat

to Leona, staying strong and healthy is very important, so he uses this newfound knowledge to make sure you, his beloved, are always having balanced meals and that you’re getting all the nutrients you need

to everyone else’s surprise, he’s in the library, looking over tomes upon tomes on nutrition and plant-based diets

he debates on going to Jade to get some information on edible mushrooms, but then he decides that getting involved with the Octatrio wasn’t worth it when books existed

he may even try some of your favourite plant-based substitutes out, but he could never part from his beloved meat

RUGGIE BUCCHI:

Ruggie’s another person who ends up being shocked that you’re a vegetarian, but he’s mostly envious

envious because you being able to have a specialized diet means you could afford to do so

in the slums where he’s from, Ruggie took any and as much food as he could

he’d dumpster dive late in the night, after restaurants had closed up for the evening, scrounging and searching for any scraps that were still edible

during holidays at NRC, Ruggie would ask Sam and the cafeteria ghosts if he could take home any leftover supplies and food, even if they were close to or beyond their expiry date

to him, food was a luxury. he couldn’t afford to be picky with what he ate, lest he���d end up going days without food

with this in mind, however, he’s also quite happy for you, happy that you can afford to eat the foods you wanted

he won’t question or nag at you like Leona would, but he’d also be the type to make sure you’ve gotten your fill at the end of the day

Ruggie would probably also ask for some vegetarian recipes and substitutes, because who knows, maybe these ingredients will end up being cheaper and more accessible to him in the future

JACK HOWL:

out of the three Savanaclaw characters, Jack is probably the most indifferent about your diet

not because he doesn’t care, but because he’s more understanding of your views

Jack doesn’t come from a poor background, but he doesn’t come from a closed-off kingdom either

he has tons of experience with all sorts of people and beastmen alike

like Leona and Ruggie, Jack cares more about your overall health and wants to ensure you’re taking care of yourself

Jack’s the type to find you new vegetarian restaurants and recipes for you to try out together (mostly thanks to Carter’s social media skills)

but i can also see him being the type who sometimes forgets that you’re vegetarian

like,, he’ll be eating a katsu sandwich beside you and may offer you a taste, only to flatten ears and mutter an apology like “oh, um, sorry. i forgot you can’t have this”

don’t be too mad at him though! he’s not doing it out of malice </3

Jack is used to his siblings back at home asking for a bite of his food. it’s become such a frequent occurrence that he developed a habit of asking his loved ones from the get-go

as such, his first instinct when eating food around someone he’s close to is to offer them some of it, and that includes you, his lovely partner

he makes it up though by buying you a treat you can actually enjoy <3

[nightpool]

Just finished watching a really great Wendover Productions video where he makes the case that the pandemic has caused a fundamental shift in the priorities of the oil and gas industry, with high prices ultimately representing the shutdown of the oil and gas industry as investors no longer believe in a long term future for carbon extraction, and shift to focus on long-term investment in renewables.

It's a long video, so here's the money quote:

U.S. shale oil producer's reinvestment rates—that is, the share of cash flow going back into the business rather than out to investors—is at an all-time low. Whereas last time oil prices sat at a comparable level the reinvestment rate was quite literally off the chart, today, less than half of their money is being put back into the business. This [capex] investment is typically what would go into developing new rigs—but today it's just getting paid out as profit.

Companies have the ability to produce more—the US Bureau of Land Management has exactly 9,000 approved-but-unused drilling permits on record—but companies just don't have the appetite to drill. Industry-wide, it's the same situation. Exxon-Mobil, Shell, Chevron and BP's capital expenditures are each at or near all-time lows. Simply put, oil companies aren't investing in the future anymore. They're investing in now.

This is not a misinformed strategy. Out of the S&P 500 index's 11 distinct sectors, the energy sector (made up almost exclusively of oil and gas companies) has been by far the lowest performer since 2007. The sector only gained 41.7% in value across that era, which means it was actually flat with inflation. The oil and gas industry simply is not a good investment anymore, and so it's no surprise that it's not getting investment from outside or in.

While it's up to debate whether we've reached "peak oil", it'd be much easier to argue that we've reached peak oil investment. Because of the temporary, finite nature of any oil supply, a relatively high level of investment is needed just to keep production capacity stable. When the world looked like this [rising demand from 1997-2020]—when climbing oil demand was all we knew—the logic behind investing 5.5 billion dollars in a single pipeline was sound.

But now with the world looking like *this*—with the future of demand looking less confident than ever—even investing a couple tens of millions in a single fracking rig is risky.

Oil going negative appeared to spur a fundamental mindset change among oil executives and investors. After having spent the past decades watching both the power of scarcity and the ruin of abundance supplies become the enemy, oil's under more pressure than ever to deliver profits now—because confidence in the future has been lost. Exxon-Mobil, Shell, Chevron and BP each successfully posted record profits in 2021, and this can continue.

The end of oil is near. The momentum is already too strong. Renewables are taking over. But the orchestra can keep playing as the ship goes down—in an era where there is no future industry growth to capture, scarcity is the name of the game. If oil companies keep supply tight, they'll keep prices high and capture consistent profits even as they *add* to the incentives of renewables.

This appears to be the dominant strategy. The alternative would be to keep prices low to slow down the switch, but considering the driving force behind the transition is the prevention of the destruction of the planet, rather than the search for a more cost effective source of energy, the profit-focused approach appears the most intuitive.

Astonishingly, this means that the oil industry is ceding the market. They've lost. They're shepherding in renewables, but they're not going down without a fight. Moving to a carbon-less world will take time and the oil industry can shrink faster than renewables can grow. Therefore—short of a fundamental strategy shift by one of the world's largest industries—the era of high fuel prices is here to stay. For those unable or unwilling to transition early, the weight will cost them. For those who held onto ownership in the sector, they're starting to experience one last great rally. Because the oil industry's party at the end of the world just started.

I dunno! it's a neat video! It does make me want to increase oil regulation by just staggering amounts though. They've already lost the fight, so who cares? Nationalize the oil supply to ensure an orderly transition.

[hellofeanor]

Fëanorian Quenya

Hey friends! Do you like elves? Do you like the Silmarillion? Do you like Fëanor and co? And most of all, do you like spending hours thinking about minor details pertaining to made-up languages??? If so, boy do I have a treat for you! Let’s delve into the weird world of Fëanorian Quenya and explore some history and mechanics of why they talk Like That.

I’ve seen a lot of posts joking about the Fëanorian lisp, which is about as funny as a joke about a speech impediment can be. 👍 It’s important to understand, though, that this IS a joke. No, they didn’t really speak with a lisp. Yes, they did pronounce some S sounds as TH. That’s the critical disclaimer here: SOME. It’s not a blanket pronunciation. There’s a lot of background research that goes into determining which words would be pronounced with S and which would be TH, and that’s what we’re going to look at.

So if this is something you’ve come across in fandom and you’re not totally sure on the details, or if you ARE sure and just want some more in-depth info, read on.

The stuff probably everybody knows already

For anyone who’s been hanging around the Fëanorian corner of the Silm fandom for more than three minutes, there’s about a 100% chance you’ve heard of Fëanor’s penchant for retaining an archaic TH pronunciation after the majority of the Noldor went ahead and started pronouncing this sound as S instead. You may also know that this sound is represented by the letter thorn (Þ) in HoME, but since thorn doesn’t exist in modern English orthography and it’s a pain to keep typing the ALT code, I’m sticking to TH here. Anyway, all this was due to the fact that Fëanor was a huge mama’s boy, and his mom Míriel Therindë (later called Serindë, which made Fëanor want to punch walls and possibly also fellow elves) was an outlier who retained the TH after it fell out of use. Her son Fëanor, in turn, kept this up to honor her. Now, whether or not he would have bothered if this sound hadn’t literally been a critical part of her name is debatable, but that debate is outside the scope of this essay.

Fëanor continued to use the TH pronunciation until his death, and required his sons to use it as well. Finwë, however, switched over to S after the death of Míriel and before his marriage to Indis. Fëanor, reasonable and level-headed as he was, took this as a personal insult and decided that anybody who rejected TH likewise rejected him. So presumably, his loyal followers would have obeyed his totally reasonable demands not to give in to the seductive S-shift.

Why tho

Why did the Noldor decide to alter their pronunciation from TH to S? Great question. Nobody really knows. For the hell of it? IDK. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But the important thing to understand is that elves, and especially Noldor, were really committed to making sure their language sounds cool. This is why it changed so much and so comparatively quickly for an immortal population: they were actively invested in changing it. They liked inventing new words and exploring new sounds and messing around with grammar.

So at some point some influential Noldo might have been like, hey y’all, let’s stop saying TH and say S instead! And everyone (except Míriel I guess, who was known for her elegant manner of speech and didn’t want to muck that up by changing pronunciation of a whole letter) was like, whoa, capital idea my good egg. And they went with it. Previous ideas along these lines included ‘hey y’all, let’s stop saying KH and say H instead’ and ‘hey y’all, let’s stop saying Z and say R instead’, and those went over swimmingly. Nobody could have foreseen the problem this TH to S business would cause.

Now here’s a fun fact. There was another change to Noldorin pronunciation that happened AFTER Fëanor’s birth, that he himself was involved in. This one was all about bilabial to labiodental F. And those sure are some words, so if you don’t know what I’m talking about (I don’t blame you), BILABIAL is a more whispery sound that happens when you say F using only air passing through your pursed lips, and LABIODENTAL is when you say F with your top teeth touching your bottom lip. Going forward I’m going to use PH to represent the bilabial sound, and F for the labiodental.

So F got on the radar of the Noldor via the Teleri, who used this sound in their language. And ol’ Fëanor figured it would be awesome to incorporate it into Quenya because he thought the PH sounded too close to HW, and the two were getting confused by lazy speakers. Why did he care? Because of his dad’s name and his own, of course. If people started to get lazy in their pronunciation, we’d end up with Hwinwë and Hwëanáro, which would be terrible and stupid and unacceptable. He accused the Vanyar of leaning down that road, and he wanted to stop that kind of shift before it happened to the Noldor. How to do that? Why, by instigating a different shift from traditional Noldorin PH to Telerin F!

“Hey y’all, let’s stop saying PH and say F instead!”

“Whoa, capital idea my good egg.”

Moral of the story: Fëanor is only concerned with Quenya pronunciation insofar as it affects his own name and the names of family members he likes. He does not care whether it’s staying the same or moving to a new sound so long as it personally makes him feel good and his name sound cool. Therefore the true way to piss him off would be to call him Curuhwinwë Hwëanáro, son of Serindë.

Okay so here’s how it works

Now that history is out of the way, let’s get back to how TH was used by the Fëanorians. As I mentioned earlier, TH wasn’t a blanket pronunciation. It all depended on the original form of the word, and whether the root had a TH or an S. And some very similar-sounding words come from different roots, so this can get tricky. A great resource that’ll give you this information is Eldamo: Quenya words where the S was originally TH are marked out with the Þ (thorn) symbol in the wordlist.

Some examples:

Súlë (spirit, breath) comes from the root THŪ, which means it would be pronounced with a TH. Silma (white crystal) comes from the root SIL, so it and related words like Silmaril would be pronounced with an S. No Fëanorian would say Thilmaril. Isil (moon), however, is a similar-sounding word that comes from a different root: THIL. Olos (mass of flowers) comes from the word LOTH, but: Olos (dream) comes from the root LOS. Fëanorian pronunciation would immediately differentiate between these two words.

While Fëanorians may have retained the distinct pronunciation of TH vs S, other Noldor can still differentiate between original S and S-that-used-to-be-TH in their writing. There are specific tengwar to use depending on the word’s original form. Silmë (the one that looks like a 6) is used for original S, while súlë (or thúlë, the one that looks like an h) is used for original TH.

Which other elves used this sound in their speech?

Fandom has really latched on to this TH as a Fëanorian thing, but it wasn’t that exclusively. The TH sound was actually ubiquitous in other elven languages, and in Valinor, only the Noldor dropped it. It was still used in Telerin and in Vanyarin Quendya. The Vanyar retained the TH not because of anything to do with Míriel, but just because they were a little more conservative and their language didn’t pick up on all the changes that the Noldor made. They also noped out of the Z to R shift the Noldor initiated, opting to keep the Z around.

When Indis married Finwë, she stopped using the normal Vanyarin TH and switched over to S as a gesture of loyalty to him and his people. Finarfin, however, out of love for the Vanyar and Teleri, switched BACK to TH. I like to think about how much it would have annoyed Fëanor that his snot-nosed kid brother was speaking correctly, but for the wrong reason. Go down one more generation, and Galadriel very specifically did not use TH. But this time it was absolutely a choice made as a glaring middle finger to Fëanor.

What this means for your fanfic or whatever

The big takeaway here: you can’t just have Fëanorians replace every S with TH and call it a day.

If you’re inventing names for your Fëanorian OCs or coming up with phrases for them to say, it’s important to look into the history of all Quenya S-words you end up using to determine if they should be S or TH. If Fëanor got mad about somebody saying Serindë instead of Therindë, he’d get equally mad about somebody saying Thilmaril instead of Silmaril and assume they were mocking him. Remember: this is a dude with no chill. (On the other hand, if you WANT somebody to be mocking Fëanor, Galadriel would 100% do this because she has an equally negligible amount of chill.)

It’s also important to note that the TH isn’t a true shibboleth, since pretty much all elves EXCEPT the non-Fëanorian Noldor use it. And even the S-preferring Noldor would still be able to pronounce the TH. Those who went into exile would go on to use it commonly in Sindarin, and those who remained in Valinor would still encounter it among the Vanyar and Teleri. So if you’re writing a scene where somebody has to pronounce a TH word to prove their loyalty… yeah, everyone can pass this test. And in the opposite direction, you can’t use TH to prove somebody’s an evil Fëanorian, either. They might just be Vanyarin or something. Or, like. Really Old.

Would the sons (and followers) of Fëanor keep using TH after his death? Oh hell yeah. This is an entire family unfamiliar with the concept of not dying on hills. They will keep using it unto the ending of the world. Actually, with Sindarin becoming the common language of Middle-earth from the First Age, probably not a lot of change happened in exilic Quenya. It became a lore language: a piece of living history. It would have been preserved as it was when the original speakers left Valinor.

(And then, thousands of years later, Galadriel finally returns home to Tirion like, Long have mine eyes awaited this most blissful of sights, and ne’er hath my sprit soared with such grace, for I am returned! And all the Amanyar Noldor stare at her like, whatchu bangin on bout, eh? Because they had nothing better to do in the peace of Valinor than push Quenya to brave and frankly questionable new horizons.)

Anyway, there you go: a somewhat brief history of Fëanorian Quenya. I hope you found this informative and useful, or at the very least not boring. Obvs this is super condensed and, uh, not particularly scholarly, but I promise I know what I’m talking about. I have a university degree! (Not in anything even remotely related to what’s written above, but I hardly see how that’s relevant. It’s still a DEGREE.)

Questions? Need clarification or want more info? My asks are always open!

[rose2jam]

Why It Was Practically Inevitable That Severus Snape Would Join A Cult, an essay by Rose Jam

So, let’s talk about Cults. Disclaimer: This is just information I’ve gathered over the years from my personal fascination with religious cults.  I’m in no way an expert or a psychologist or whatever.  This is just my personal understanding from the research I’ve done.

A cult is started when a wildly charismatic Leader feels like they have a purpose, a higher calling, or a mission to be fulfilled (or they could also just be an egomaniac). Maybe they really do feel like what makes them special comes directly from a higher power, be that God, or the Heir of Slytherin, but either way, this person has a pathological need to be worshiped, and they need followers in order to do that.  

So, how does one obtain Followers easily? By finding the misunderstood misfits of society, and promising them something.  The people who feel like no one else understands them, or their ideologies.  But this Leader?  This Leader GETS IT, MAN! The Leader understands them perfectly, vindicates them, and makes them promises along the way.  Like, if they stick with the Leader, then not only will they finally be understood, but they themselves will also be revered.  That they will rise above all of the others who have put them down for so long, and will come out on top as a superior being.  

Any of this sounding familiar?

Charles Manson preyed on young people in the middle of the hippie movement, mostly women, who were feeling lost, lonely, and in need of guidance, or in terms of the men he recruited, seeking power over others.  Not all of these people were poor or helpless; some of them came from middle class, or even rich homes and families.  Yes, some of them came from broken homes, but all of them felt “broken” themselves, in some way. So Manson used their desires to have a family to draw them in.  He then used LSD and other drugs to keep them under his control, and he created a manipulative environment where the members of his “family” felt they could never leave him, and if they didn’t follow his commands, something horrible would happen to them.  I’m not going to go into full detail on the Manson Family Murders, but if you’re personally interested, check out the Podcast “Cults” on Spotify.

So back to basics, this Leader draws in Followers with flowery promises of community, power, family, or whatever.  But once the Leader has that following, the terror will begin.  Cult Leaders are usually master manipulators, and have completely brainwashed their followers into believing the “us vs them” mentality, that the outside world is evil, that the outside world will only harm them, that the outside world would never understand what they’re doing on the inside.  And that the Leader is the only one who knows the truth, so they better stick with him.  Or maybe the Leader has gaslit his followers so completely, that they become dependent on him for everything, to the point where they don’t know how they would possibly function without the Leader.  Or, the Leader has created an environment that’s so hostile, that Followers are too afraid of what might happen to them if they tried to leave, or didn’t do what the Leader commanded.  Typically, it’s a combination of all of the above.  Destructive cults will either hurt others outside of their circle (The Manson Family, Sect of Nacozari), harm themselves (Heaven’s Gate, The Ant Hill Kids), or both (The People’s Temple, Aum Sinrikyo).  

Now that I’ve laid this foundation, I’m going to tell you why it was practically inevitable that Severus Snape would join a cult.

Snape’s childhood ultimately laid the foundation for the mental state he would be in when he decided to join the Death Eaters.  He grew up in an abusive household, where his father, the muggle, had his magical wife so thoroughly whipped, that she couldn’t (or chose not to) use magic to defend herself, or her son (1).  Eileen had obviously told Severus about magic, about Hogwarts, about what a wonderful place it was, and what a wonderful gift magic could be.  Severus also watched as Tobias beat the magic out of her.  (I know it’s debated whether Tobias actually physically abused his family, but he certainly verbally/mentally/emotionally abused them, so the term “beat” could be used figuratively as well).  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that Severus developed an extreme hatred of muggles with “burn the witch” mentalities from a very young age because of this.

Enter Lily, perhaps the only other magical person in his life besides his mother up to this point. He sees her using magic out in the open, perhaps recklessly, for fun, and he sees an opportunity to make a friend (and, admittedly, to be smarter than someone about something for a while). He was so eager to tell her all about magic, because getting to learn magic, and go to Hogwarts, has possibly been the only thing keeping him going in his young life.  And now he’s made a friend, a real friend who doesn’t think he’s weird because he’s magical.  Unlike Petunia, yet another muggle who makes fun of him for being weird (2). And Lily actually seems to like him back.  For a kid who probably hasn’t received a lot of affection in his life, this is monumental.  This friendship is everything.  Why wouldn’t he love her?

So the time finally comes to go to Hogwarts.  Severus gets to escape his abusive household, and finally has an opportunity to embrace magic for the first time in his life.  But almost immediately, he’s met with a hic-up.  Specifically, James Potter and Sirius Black.  So Severus is no longer facing abuse exclusively from muggles who think he’s weird, but now he’s also getting it from other magical people who think he’s weird (3).  And this started on the fucking TRAIN before he even GOT to Hogwarts. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t sour a kids dream right off the fucking bat.  And then, when he finally gets there, he’s separated from his only friend, by being sorted into different houses (4).  What a way for a life-long dream to be thoroughly dashed in less than 24 hours.

Let’s look at Snape’s Hogwarts experience.  He’s a good student, and he pours himself into learning as much magic as possible, and at being the best he can possibly be, probably motivated by a desire to be better than what his Father thinks possible.  During this time, he is regularly bullied and abused by the Marauders. Sometime before his 5th year, the Incident at the Shrieking Shack took place.  It definitely sucks to have been so thoroughly fucking duped, and put into a life-threatening situation involving a goddamn werewolf (5).  But perhaps even worse than that, the salt in the wound, was that no one fucking did anything about it (6).  He saw Sirius and James and Remus get out of that situation without facing any sort of proper punishment (as in, they all still stayed at the school as opposed to being expelled like they DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (At least Sirius should have been)). Dumbledore was looking out for the Marauders, but no one was looking out for Severus.  On top of that, Severus isn’t allowed to TELL anyone about it, not even Lily.  So, he goes through what was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, and he can’t even tell anyone that it happened.

So, what sort of support system does Severus have during all this?  He has Lily, sure (who literally told him he should be GRATEFUL to James, one of his abusers).  But, what he really has, is Slytherin House (7). I’ll say it plainly: Severus was sorted into a house that was already full of existing cult members.  McGonagall says in Sorcerer’s Stone that “Your house will be like your family” (she at least says it in the movies, I’m too lazy to get up and reference my books rn lol).  So, Severus’ family, his support system, for 10 months out of every year, is a house that is already full to the brim with pureblood elitists with prejudiced ideals, who would absolutely vindicate Severus in his dislike for muggles.  As a kid first getting sorted into the house, it’s obviously not unreasonable to become friends with the people you’re literally living with.  His dorm mates became his family.  So, when his dorm mates started to become Death Eaters… This is headcanon, I fully admit, but like, fuck, Severus didn’t have a lot of friends, and was probably already drifting apart from Lily.  Do you really think he was going to tell the people he had to live with every single day, not to mention the only people that had been supporting him for years, to go fuck themselves for using Dark Magic?  Especially when he was probably feeling like he was on the verge of thinking that their rhetoric made some sense?

On to Snape’s Worst Memory (8).  At this point, he’s spent 5 years in Slytherin House, with fellow students who casually throw around the M word.  He gets attacked by James and Sirius, he’s practically defenseless, and then the girl who he’d considered his closest friend for so long… has to force herself not to smile when he’s thrown upside down and exposed to everyone on the grounds.  Sure, she was trying to defend him at first, but she also fucking nearly smiled at his humiliation, his pain, his abuse.  So he hurls the one word that he knows is going to cut the deepest, that will hopefully hurt her as badly as she has hurt him. And it works.

Severus had been beaten down his entire life.  By Muggles and Magic Folk alike.  And finally, he’s betrayed by Lily, his last lifeline to the light.  He betrayed her as well, of course.  But he did try to show remorse.  And she doesn’t forgive him (9), which was her prerogative, of course.  

So.  Who does he have left?

I’ve placed little (numbers) throughout my writing here.  Each of those numbers denote the specific events that led Severus to becoming an angry young man, who hates muggles, hates (some) magic folk, and resulted in him feeling weak, helpless, and desperate.  For what?  For power, for a family, for a community.  For a world where he is no longer the weird one.  For a world where he’s respected, strong.  For the world he thought he was going to be a part of, when he arrived at Hogwarts in his first year.

And it just so happens that this is the exact world that Voldemort is (allegedly) trying to create.

Severus Snape was angry, and vulnerable, and as such, he was practically the poster child for the type of person who would be susceptible to falling for a cult.  Maybe he was recruited by his friends in Slytherin House.  Maybe he was recruited directly.  Either way, charismatic Tom Riddle came along, understood how he felt, where he was coming from, told him he deserved better, and offered him all of the things he never had in his life.  And being at rock bottom, being the lowest of the low, to Severus it must have seemed like a miracle of an opportunity, or perhaps, like the only chance he had left.

Now, let me be extremely clear; everything I’ve written is not trying to EXCUSE Severus Snape for his actions.  There is always a point where personal responsibility must come into play.  Except for children born into cults or victims of kidnapping, nearly every person who has ever joined a cult has made the personal decision to join it. I’m just trying to express how unbelievably easy it is, for a Cult Leader to find people with damaged lives and low self-worth, to suck them in with promises of a fulfilling life and grandeur, and for those people to be easily swept up and brainwashed into believing that what they are doing is right.  (Or that what they are doing is required, because the alternative is more horrifying.)  

The type of people who joined the Death Eaters are the same type of people who joined Heaven’s Gate, or The People’s Temple, or yes, The Manson Family.  Now, I’m just going to say, from my own personal point of view, I do not vilify anyone who’s ever joined a destructive cult.  On the contrary, I feel sorry for them.  Because most people who join a cult, don’t necessarily do it signing up for the… end result of what happened to them.  Some of them totally do, like Heaven’s Gate. Most of them knew that the end result was going to be the “evacuation of their earthly vessel”.  But the people who joined the Manson Family, for instance, did not initially join it KNOWING how it was going to end.  They were part of the family long before Manson even came up with Helter Skelter, and by the time the Tate-LaBianca Murders took place, they were already too far gone to go against it.

I highly recommend anyone who’s interested in a humanizing view of former cult members, to read the essay “Leslie Van Houten: A Friendship” by John Waters. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/leslie-van-houten-a-frien_b_246953

Or, at the very least, listen to this 7 minute NPR interview with John Waters about the essay https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111585116

It’s the story of how notorious film maker John Waters, became friends with former Manson Girl, Leslie Van Houten, and about how she broke away from the cult after her conviction, how she’s spent the last 51 years of her life recovering from the psychotic influence of a maniac who’d promised her the world, and how even though she was convicted to life WITH a possibility of parole, it’s never been granted to her, despite the fact that she has done literally everything possible to try and atone for her crimes.

Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart.  I’m pretty much the only person I know who feels sorry for Leslie Van Houten and other cult members who were brainwashed, abused, and manipulated into doing a lot of the horrible things they’ve done.  But there are people in the world, who have committed FAR more heinous crimes than the Manson Family murders, and who are far less repentant than Leslie, but because those crimes weren’t as notorious, they get to walk free.

Addendum: When I first posted this, I had a few people point out to me that they had always associated Voldemort and the Death Eaters with Hitler and Nazi Germany.  This is a perfectly fair point, but one that I personally don’t jive with, and the reason is simply the numbers.   There were literally millions of people in the Nazi party during WW2.   Death Eaters don’t even reach triple digits, as far as I’m aware.  As I hinted at in this essay, I consider Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be MUCH closer to Charles Manson and the Manson Family.  The Manson Family 100% had Nazi ideology, of course. "Helter Skelter” was Charles Manson’s prediction that there was going to be a massive race war; one that the Whites were going to lose, and that he and his Pure White family would emerge from it in order to rule over the remaining Blacks.  Kinda... sounds like a Death Eater thing, huh?

Sorry.  Back to Snape.  There is a lot we don’t know about Severus’ actual time as a Death Eater. I think it can be reasonably assumed he’s never actually killed anyone before Dumbledore (In Prince’s Tale, Severus questions if his soul would be safe from killing Dumbledore, and Dumbledore implies that his soul would not be damaged by helping an old man avoid pain and humiliation.  This leads me to believe that Severus never committed any soul-damaging murders before this).  Beyond being a sneaky spy and delivering the prophecy to Voldemort, his time as a Death Eater is all up for conjecture.  

Severus does make one important deviation from the typical cult member mold, however.  In the end, he manages to break away from the cult.  The scales fall from his eyes.  In a figurative sense, the LSD has worn off.  What made him sober up, was the threat to his last lifeline to the light. The one good fucking thing he’d ever had in his miserable life.  He was brought back by genuine love.  Ya know, the ENTIRE MESSAGE OF THE HP SERIES. And not only did he leave the cult, but he then spent the rest of his life actively attempting to destroy it, and atone for the mistakes he’s made, in an effort to bring back the world he’d been excited for, as an 11-year-old kid, so full of hope.

[artemisunicorn]

My Top 10 Yuri!!! On Ice Songs

(And the poor reasons and explanations as to why they are my faves)

No one asked but this is my lock screen btw

Honorable Mentions

- Minami’s Boogie

This song is so fun and Minami is adorable when skating to it

And the part where he’s playing along is so cute

Would be ranked, but the uncut version can kinda drag on

But either way it’s just a nice song to get you dancing

- Intoxicated

I absolutely adore Chris and this song is pretty good

Tbh I was pretty torn for putting it on the list but some of the others just beat it by a little bit

It was never one that I listened to constantly, so when I listened to the soundtrack to pick out songs, I was pretty impressed by it

Alas, it shall stay as an honorable mention

- On Love : Eros

Please don’t hurt me ;-;

This song is great

I literally just ran out of spaces when I was listening to the soundtrack

It would have been number 11 probably I dunno

But yeah I have nothing against this song, it’s really good

- You Only Live Once

I freaking love this song SO MUCH

I was debating on keeping this list for skate exclusives, hence why this song is more of an honorable mention

But if this list wasn’t skate exclusive, this song would be so high-

Honestly it’s not even an honorable mention

This is me saying that this song is amazing and the cute slideshow that goes over it makes my heart happy

Basically I’m giving it an unnamed place on the list without sacrificing a spot for the named ones

- And now the actual list -

10 - Partizan Hope

Ah yes, everyone’s favorite meathead J.J.

This song is pretty

Like really pretty

I actually hadn’t heard it completely before I listened to the whole soundtrack for this list

And what a shame, honestly because it’s so good

It definitely would have been ranked higher if I’d listened to it constantly like I’ve done for the other songs

But yeah overall really great song

9 - Serenade for Two

Next up we’ve got Mickey

Another song that I never fully listened to until now

But geez it’s so good

And Mickey skating to it brought so much more emotion

It really had ya girl crying over here

It was just so sweet

The only thing is that I wish it didn’t break for this man to speak only to go back to singing again

I dunno if it’s just me but it breaks the immersion

But even still, very good song

8 - On Love : Agape

Yurio oh Yurio

Yup, this song beat Eros

I think the vocals really just push it higher for me

It’s so good

The voices sound so sweet and ethereal and the music is just amazing

Really a *chefs kiss* moment right there

And Yurio really sells it, especially at the Grand Prix Final

Actual tears y’all

I was a proud mama y’all don’t understand

7 - Yuri on ICE

And of course we have our main boi Yuuri

This song is just one of those that really just hit

Best part is when it just drops to the piano and Yuuri just glides on the ice

It’s so peaceful

And it’s so emotional

It tells a whole story

His journey of finding love and holding it close

And he dedicates it to Viktor every time

Eros might be about showing the world who’s boss, but this song is showing his bonds and he really puts his heart and soul into it every time

Why am I crying

6 - Still Alive

Leo getting the love he deserves

This song has really stood out to me from the first time I heard it

I don’t really have an explanation, I just really like it a lot

It’s a bop and deserves to be heard

BUT ONE THING

THIS SONG IS CRIMINALLY SHORT

TWO MINUTES AND TEN SECONDS

WE’VE BEEN ROBBED

Nah but for real though

I really wish it was longer because it’s a great song

5 - Stay By Your Side (Duet) | Stammi Vicino (Duet)

Viktor and Yuuri have my entire heart

In all honesty I have no idea if that’s what it’s actually called but google translate says that

I cannot read that-

Please correct me if you know the actual title ;-;

Edit : I’ve been told it’s called Stammi Vicino

But yeah anyways

THIS SONG IS SO PRETTY

And it’s even better because of the pair skate that goes with it

which I’m already crying about but we’re not gonna talk about that

Gah my heart

It’s so nice!!!! It really warms my heart

I don’t know if it’s because it’s a duet but my tears are FLOWING

But seriously I can’t gush about it enough it’s just such a nice song

4 - Theme of King J.J.

Our meathead is back and better than ever

I love this song okay

And J.J. really sells it here

You can hate J.J. as much as you want but you can’t tell me you weren’t clapping and singing along with the audience as he skated-

And his end pose

Ugh it’s great

What a king

This song is just so much fun

Mixed with the visuals and just the whole theme of it all

It’s just a fun song and I love it

3 - Shall We Skate?

My baby Phichit getting the recognition he deserves

But if y’all wanna talk about a fun song, look no further than right here

This song is an absolute BLAST

And Phichit sells it like no other

And once again, his ending pose is just so cute

Please I want to hug him so bad

I can’t express how much this song brings me joy

And I know I complained about the speaking parts in Serenade for Two, but it really works here

Also it’s supposed to be from a movie so it works in that regard too

Overall, such a good song

2 - Terra Incognita

Phichit back at it again

Maybe I’m biased because he’s darling

BUT DAMMIT HE’S MY FAV BECAUSE OF HOW HE SKATES

This song’s harmonies are EVERYTHING

And dare I say

Once again

The ending pose is so nice

I’m always putting this song on repeat because I love harmonizing with them

I’m a huge musical nerd and a whole sucker for harmonies so yeah

This song is ugh

I don’t even need to say

1 - Tales of a Sleeping Prince

And Georgi takes the number one spot

I really have no reason as to why this is my number one song

Every time it comes on, it’s put on repeat

Georgi isn’t as entertaining to watch as Phichit, but the music really carries him here

BY THE WAY

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THIS SONG WAS CUT SHORT FOR COMEDY

C O M E D Y

it was funny ngl

BUT STILL

I really be singing along like my life depends on it

And I love key changes too

This song just delivers

0 - History Maker

Yes I cheated

I don’t even know if this counts. It’s *technically* a skating song since they skate to it in the opening so it could count, but either way I absolutely love this song

If I actually counted it, it would easily be number one

That shot where Viktor takes over at the beginning makes my heart melt AND FOR WHAT-

It just brings me so much joy

YOI is my comfort anime and y’all History Maker just beats me over the head with love

It’s one of those openings I have never skipped

I can’t bring myself to

Also the album cover is just so freaking good???

AND THE ANIMATION IS SO NICE?????

It makes me so happy and I don’t know why

Y’all please

Plus my best friend and I scream the entire song whenever it comes on in my car

I’m not crying you are

Post posting edit : Terra Incognita and Tales of a Sleeping Prince keep switching between first and second place, so let’s just say they’re very close for first (which I thought I mentioned but oh well)

Post posting edit pt 2 : I definitely plan to update this list because upon listening to the soundtrack even further and discussing the rankings with y’all, some songs have jumped higher or fallen lower for me. I’ll make an updated one soon :)

(I tried to cut the post, but I’m on mobile. Sorry y’all ;-;)

[myhockeyworld87]

Under My Skin - Matthew Tkachuk

Word Count: 3,644

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Summary: Matthew can be a pest but what happens when your ex, Auston Matthews get under his skin.

Notes: So I’m having a sad bitch moment and thought, why not post this. I finally broke down and wrote for this boy. Who knows if it’ll happen again...haha! At any rate hope you guys enjoy. Happy Reading!

Matthew first met you over a year ago when you’d moved to Calgary for work. You had just finished your degree and a job opportunity had landed you in the same city where he was playing. You’d been out at the bar with some co-workers and had caught his eye immediately. You were everything that Matthew was looking for in a woman, smart, funny, incredibly gorgeous, with a charm that seemed to draw everyone around you in. You were like a magnet and Matthew couldn’t resist your pull.

 That first night he’d barely been able to talk to you. You’d been besotted with people left and right, and it seemed as though every time Matthew worked up the courage to speak with you, you would get pulled away. Matthew finally ran into you on the way to the restroom. Like, literally ran into you. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Matthew apologized steadying you with a hand on your waist. His hand lingered a little longer than necessary but you weren’t complaining.

 “It’s ok I wasn’t paying attention.” You held up your phone in defense. You’d been so distracted by a text, that you really weren’t watching where you were going. “Did you ever have someone text you that you hoped you’d never hear from again?”

 It was an interesting introduction to a conversation but then Matthew would take any opportunity he could get to speak to you. “Actually, yes.”

 “It’s so annoying, right?”

 “Well, there is a way to solve that problem.”

 Your eyes held his with rapt attention, and Matthew could tell you were clinging to his every word. It was then that it struck him that he never wanted that look to fade from your face. “How?”

 “Come have a drink with me and forgot about whoever it is on that phone.” You smiled. It was a bright, brilliant thing of beauty that Matthew swore could light up the night sky on its darkest days. He was sold right then and there, and with just that simple gesture you had no idea that you’d swooped in and stolen his heart that night.

 You forgot about that text message fairly quickly and just settled into an easy conversation with Matthew. The night flew by and before you knew it, your co-workers were calling it a night and you were all heading home. Matthew asked for your number which you gave in hopes that he would call you soon. Little did you know that after you left, Matthew debated with himself on how long to wait to text you. Every unsaid rule in the code of dating said to wait for at least forty-eight to seventy-two hours before making a move, but Matthew was never one to follow convention. As he lay in bed, he decided to send you a quick message.

 Had a great time tonight.

 It was short and to the point, and Matthew figured if you answered then he would ask you out again. Unfortunately, for Matthew, he wasn’t the only one texting you as you crawled into bed after taking off all your makeup. You were just getting ready to reply to Matthew when another text came in. It was the fourth of the night from the same person that had messaged you before, Auston Matthews.

 You hadn’t spoken to him in months, back when you were in Toronto, and you didn’t plan on speaking to him now, though he seemed to be trying his hardest to get your attention, just as he had been for the last couple of months. Your relationship with Auston had been nothing short of toxic. Oh sure, at first it was all hearts and roses in the beginning. Auston swept you off your feet with that charming smile of his, but then you were young and the flashy NHLer said all the right things, at first.

 You weren’t normally one to tumble into bed right after the first date, though that’s what happened with Auston. He made it seem like you were the only one, but after dating him for only four months you’d found out that wasn’t true. Oh, he tried to brush it off, make it seem like he wasn’t cheating. That the panties you’d found lying tucked between the nightstand and the bed were some old fling and not some random hookup he’d brought home. You wanted to believe him and so you let your heart overpower your head and stayed with him until you’d literally walked in on him in bed with another woman. There was no talking his way out of that one.

 It was an easy decision to break things off with him, though he kept trying to win you back. You were good for his image and he thought that he could keep you happy while he had some fun on the side. The only thing was you didn’t want him back, even though his friends tried to helped his cause. That’s when you decided to take the job in Calgary. It was an easy decision six months ago. Which is part of the reason it surprised you when he texted tonight. He was in Calgary for a game and wanted to talk. You’d honestly were debating seeing him when you’d run into Matthew.

 Matthew, you sighed. His curly hair and shaved sides gave off this bad boy vibe, but as you sat there and talked to him, you’d realized he had to be one of the sweetest men out there. You hadn’t realized at first who he actually was. Auston had turned you off to the NHL scene altogether, so you no longer paid attention to the games, even if hockey was Canada’s major sport. Honestly, you wish you didn’t know he was in the NHL. It was part of the reason you were debating about answering him. Maybe you would just sleep on it and decide in the morning.

 Meanwhile, Matthew was having a mild panic attack. He told himself that maybe you lived close to the bar and had already fallen asleep before you got his text, or that you’d turned off your phone the minute you got home. He constantly kept checking his, looking for those three little dots letting him know that you were sending something back. It was torturous.

 You laid there all of twenty minutes before you decided that you couldn’t resist the curly-haired man that had captured your attention tonight. Grabbing your phone, you shot off a quick, I did too. You typed and erased it three times, wondering if you should add more before finally pressing the send button. There it was done, if he said something back, you’d go from there. Fifteen seconds later, you knew you were in trouble.

 Maybe we could do it again sometime?

 Matthew was sweating as he hit send. He’d never been this nervous before about a woman. They either liked him or didn’t, but you, you were different. He knew that from the moment he saw you. It was even more prevalent now after he’d spent most of the night with you.

 I’d like that.

 Was your simple reply back. One that had Matthew ready to jump up and out of bed with excitement. And so the texting went on for the next ten minutes until he finally ended up calling you. The two of you talked for over an hour, almost as if you’d known each other all your lives, and you completely forgot about the texts from Auston.

 Matthew took you out three days later to an exclusive restaurant in the city. This time you told yourself you’d not make the same mistake you’d made with Auston. So, when the night drew to a close, Matthew drove you to your apartment then very properly walked you to the door and only kissed you on the cheek. It wasn’t what you expected. You’d thought he’d go for more, but Matthew wanted to do things right. He knew you were special and he wasn’t going to mess things up by sleeping with you on night one. He was in this for the long run.

 That was over a year ago. Sure, it had been difficult at first to give him your complete trust, but Matthew had earned it and over time you knew that although he may be a pest on the ice, he was anything but that in your personal life. Now the two of you shared a home and were on your way to making a life together.

 You’d kept your relationship on the down-low, staying off of all forms of social media to keep the wolves at bay. Which meant that no one, including Auston, knew that you and Matthew were dating. That was until he and everyone else saw you in the background of Taryn’s video for Brady’s twenty-first birthday. The picture highlighted Brady but behind him, there was Matthew nibbling on your neck and ear. Fans picked up on it right away, wondering who you were and Matthew decided he was tired of hiding the two of you. A week later he was posting a picture of the two of you holding hands on your way back to Calgary.

 That was dozens of posts and months ago. Your life with Matthew was nothing short of amazing, until the Flames played the Leafs. Matthew was in Toronto while you stayed back in Calgary for work. It was an early game and you joined the other wives and significant others in a small little watch party. Drinks were flowing freely, so you really didn’t catch the exchange between Matthew and Auston in warmups.

 Matthew was minding his own business as he stretched near the centerline. That’s when Auston started with the little jabs. “Nice little piece of ass you picked up Tkachuk.” Matthew was used to guys talking shit about all kinds of things on the ice, though normally it was about him being a dirty player or how Brady was the better Tkachuk on the ice; all that shit he could handle. He wasn’t used to someone taking stabs at you.

 “Shut the fuck up Matthews,” he replied then skated away. If Auston was looking for a fight, he’d get one if he kept up this banter, but not until the game started.

 It wasn’t until the end of the first that Auston got a chance to chirp Matthew again. “Tell me, Tkachuk, does (Y/N) still make the same pretty moans…”

 “Finish that and you’ll regret it,” Matthew told him. It was the only warning Matthew was going to give. Of course, Matthew knew that you’d dated someone in the hockey world and that he’d been a verifiable asshole. He’d never pressed the issue too much as he was trying to turn that stigma about hockey players around. He never liked Auston, he was always cordial to him in non-ice settings but now that he knew he was the cheating bastard who basically used you; he liked him less.

 Play resumed before anything else could happen and Matthew was sure to get in a few good checks in before heading back for the first intermission. When he was back on the ice for the second Auston picked up right where they had left off. “So, you like my sloppy seconds, Tkachuk?” Matthew saw red at the insult, and before he knew what he was doing he dropped his gloves and hit Auston. Inwardly, you cringed at the fight, not wanting to let on to the other girls that you had an idea what the exchange was about. Auston went down easy, with Matthew barely touching him, and so off the penalty box he went, while the Leafs went on the power play. You could see him just sitting there stewing, though you weren’t sure if he was mad at himself for letting Auston get to him or mad at you.

 The game ended up tied in the third, and little did you know that Auston took the opportunity to get a few more digs into Matthew. “Does she get as wet for as she did for me, or do you have to work for it?” Johnny had to hold him back from leveling him after that, but Auston didn’t let up. “She was such a fucking slut for me in bed. You know I fucked every hole…” That’s all he got out before going down hard as Matthew planted a right hook to his jaw. But Matthew wasn’t done and went after Auston as he lay on the ice. Matthew was ejected from the game and the Leafs scored on the power play.

 There was no interview after the game with Matthew, so you had no idea what he was feeling or how pissed he was. As soon as you got home, you tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail. You tried to tell yourself it didn’t mean anything that maybe he never turned his phone back on after the game or maybe they were already on the flight back to Calgary, as the team played at home the following day, but you just weren’t sure. So, you laid in the king-size bed you shared with Matthew, wrapped up in your favorite old t-shirt of his, simply staring up at the ceiling.

 At some point, you must have fallen asleep, for you didn’t hear the door open or Matthew dropping his bag like you usually did. It wasn’t until he crept into bed that you finally knew he was home. He was laying on his back, hands behind his head when you finally rolled over letting him know you were awake. You’d thought about what to say to him before falling asleep but waited for him to say something to you. When he didn’t you simply whispered, “If you want me to go I will.”

 “Go?” Matthew questioned now rolling on to his side so he could see you. “Why would I want you to leave?”

 “I never wanted to be a problem for you, Matthew, especially not with other players.” It was part of the reason you’d never told him that you’d dated Auston, though you should’ve known that Auston couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

 You went to say more, but Matthew stopped you. “You’re not the problem (Y/N). You could never be one.” His fingers ran up and down your arms lightly, just caressing your skin. “I love you, baby.”

 “I love you too.” His lips found yours then, and you melted into the feel of him, savoring how his body started to relax against you.

 “Auston’s an asshole.” Matthew finally said, when the two of you broke apart.

 “Do I even want to know what he said?”

 “Just shit to get me riled up, and it worked.” Your one hand went to the back of his neck, massaging the knotted muscles there. “I’m not stupid. I realize what probably happened between the two of you. I just don’t like hearing it.”

 “We both have pasts, Matthew. We can’t change that, but you’re my future.”

 He gave you a real quick peck to your lips. “And you’re mine. At least I don’t have to deal with him for a couple weeks.”

 You pushed him onto his back before straddling his hips. “Don’t let him get under your skin, babe. When he starts to say something…” you looked him right in the eyes. “And you know he will. Just remind him how you’re the only one I want with me.” You flexed your hips before running your hands up his bare chest. “And in me.” Matthew’s hands went to your waist, where he played with the band of lace on your panties. “You’re more to me than he’ll ever be. Both here,” you taped your heart and then his. “And here.” Lifting your hips, you took your hand and cupped the length of him. His cock instantly hardened under your touch.

 Your words spurred Matthew into action, for the next thing you knew he was ripping your panties, before shimming out of his boxers. His fingers went to your folds, where he found you ready for him. “Fuck you’re so wet.”

 “Only for you Matthew. Only for you.” It was extra reassurance that you knew Matthew needed and tonight you’d give him as many as he needed. He guided your hips down onto his cock and you sighed out with pleasure as he filled you like no one else ever had.

 As you grabbed the hem of your t-shirt Matthew whispered harshly, “Leave it on.” It was one of his Flames shirts; one that had both his name and number on the back. Leaning down you kissed him long and hard, before starting to ride him. It was slow at first, a pace meant to build you both up but not push you over the edge. His hands were everywhere, under your shirt caressing your breasts, wandering down your back to cup your ass, and moving up and down your thighs to quicken your speed.

 Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer and he flipped your bodies so that he loomed over top of you. His thrusts were deep and hard, almost punishing if your body hadn’t wanted him so bad. “You belong to me.” He said as he flexed into you, pushing you up against the headboard.

 “Yes, baby. Only you.”

 “Who?” He asked again and you realized that he was not in the mood to hear any pet names.

 “You, Matthew, you,” you answered knowing that he owned you both body and soul, just as you owned him.

 “That’s right, baby.” Matthew's thrusts were deep and sure, as he knew what would bring you pleasure, and with a few more flexes of his hips, he sent you spiraling out of control, screaming his name.

 “MMMAAATTTTTTTTTTHHHHEEEEEWWW.”

 That was all he needed to catch his high and follow you down, your name on his lips. He rolled onto his side taking you with him; your breaths mingling together as you both calmed. Your nails skimmed down his spine aimless, something you tended to do after sex. Matthew always said he loved the continued intimacy it brought, and tonight it felt like you both needed that. His lips found yours, the kiss loving and tender. “I love you, (Y/N),” Matthew whispered while brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “And I promise, I won’t let Auston get to me next time.”

 “Good, because you’re the only man I love Matthew, and the team doesn’t need you getting ejected from games because of me.”

 “It won’t happen again.” You truly hoped that it wouldn’t but with Matthew’s temper you never knew.

 It was a little over two weeks later that the Flames were taking on the Leafs, this time at the Saddledome, where you were in attendance. Admittedly, you were a bit nervous on the inside as to what would happen between the love of your life and the once lowlife that you'd briefly called boyfriend. You tried to shake off your nerves with idle chatter with some of the girls, but your eyes always seemed to drift back to where Matthew and Auston were on the ice.

 Matthew for his part stayed away from center ice for warmups, just like he told you he would. It wasn’t until the second period after a blown whistle that Auston finally decided to poke at him. “How’s that girlfriend Tkachuk? You know if I told her I wanted her back she’d leave you in a second.”

 “I doubt that Matthews. She told me you couldn't satisfy her in the bedroom. Something about cumming too soon.” Anger started to radiate across Auston’s face. “You should see a doctor about that.” Matthew skated away, completely ignoring anything Auston would be able to say back.

 The game was tied late in the third once again when Auston tried to rile Matthew up again. Considering he had two assists you understood why they wanted your boyfriend out of the game. “It wasn’t me who had the problem Tkachuk, (Y/N)’s pussy was wider than the Grand Canyon.”

 “Hmm,” Matthew taunted back. “Must be your small pencil dick, because she’s so tight it’s like a vice-grip around me.” Auston took offense and cross-checked Matthew into the boards right as the play began, earning him two minutes in the penalty box. Matthew laughed at him as the ref took him over. Auston wasn’t there for long, as Matthew scored the game-winning goal forty-some seconds into the penalty. You jumped up out of your seat with the rest of the girls cheering and screaming.

 Even though they pulled the goalie, the Leafs couldn’t seem to find the back of the net before the buzzer sounded ending the game. You made your way down to wait outside the tunnel with the rest of the significant others. Most everyone was gone before Matthew finally came out, scooping you up in his arms. “Did you see that baby?”

 “I saw Matty,” you told him, kissing him on the lips. “That goal was impressive.”

 He finally set you back down on your feet. “No babe, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t let him get to me.”

 “Yeah, I saw that too. I’m so proud of you.”

 “Well, he can’t get under my skin about you, when I get to be all over yours.” His hands slid under your sweater and inside your jeans to cup your ass. “Speaking of your skin…let’s go home so I can get you out of all these clothes and see you.”

 You kissed him, long and languidly, before pulling back. “I like that idea. I like it a lot.” The two of you left the arena hands interlaced just as your bodies would be as soon as you got home.  

.

[andrew-buchan-fansite]

Excerpts from an interview with Andrew by Nick Hilton of The Independent ahead of This England:

Andrew Buchan is not getting political.

This is despite the actor taking on the role of Matt Hancock, alongside Kenneth Branagh’s Boris Johnson. This impartiality is both by edict of the show’s publicity department – which has forbidden questions about politics – and the actor himself. “I’m definitely not one of those people who sits down at a dinner party and opens up the chat with political debate,” he tells me. “I’m not that guy.”

Perhaps that’s not what you’d expect to hear from an actor who cut his teeth in the BBC’s Westminster drama Party Animals, starred in Sky One’s Cabinet Office thriller COBRA and now brings his chops to Michael Winterbottom’s dramatisation of the early months of the Covid-19 crisis. Yet for this character, he thinks his indifference to politics might have helped him “because I might have been tempted to colour Matt in a certain way”, he muses. “If I had an incredibly strong opinion of him one way or the other, maybe that would’ve filtered in.”

His equivocal stance on Hancock (whom he exclusively refers to as “Matt”, like an old, slightly trying, friend), a man who has divided family gatherings – both literally and figuratively – for the past two years, is typical of the studied neutrality of This England. This England highlights the mistakes made in the government’s handling of the crisis, it is not the raging anti-Boris polemic that many were expecting. And Hancock gets off very lightly. “With Matt, the main thing for me playing the man was not to go in there and play people’s opinions of the man,” says Buchan, “but literally purely and simply to play what was written for me on the page.”

This involved turning to some of Hancock’s former colleagues to punch through a public perception now overshadowed by grainy CCTV footage of him snogging his lover in the midst of the pandemic. “What I’d gleaned from certain people who worked closely with him,” he tells me, “[was] that the man was obsessed with planning. I think that definitely comes across in the script.”

Of course, the biggest story about This England – other than Kenneth Branagh’s extraordinarily distracting prosthetics – has been its timing. Not only does it follow hot on the heels of Johnson’s plummet from power, but, by most scientific reckoning, we are not entirely out of the woods with the pandemic either. We certainly weren’t when the project was announced back in January 2021 (when the UK was still in a national lockdown): is it too soon to tell this story? “I’m not really sure I can comment on that,” replies Buchan, succinctly. “It’s just a factual piece of history. One of the biggest things to happen for a generation. It’s a story that needs to be told. If it’s too raw and too soon, understandably, for people, then obviously steer clear. But if ever a story needed to be told about what went on behind the thought process that led to certain decisions, it’s this, surely.”

I’m not wholly convinced. I ask him what this dramatisation has achieved that a documentary, for example, wouldn’t have. “I think Michael obviously has his own reasons,” he says. “The characters are bringing more of a fictional licence to it. So you can maybe explore a little more than just in a black and white documentary.” And black and white This England is not: it’s a vision of British politics in billowing technicolour, led by a Kenneth Branagh performance of cartoonish grandeur.

“I’ve never actually met Ken,” he tells me. “I’ve met someone dressed as Boris Johnson. And the person dressed as Boris Johnson, who claimed to be Ken Branagh, would chat out of character between scenes and I’d think to myself, I mean, this sounds like Kenneth Branagh…” This was despite the cast and crew being sequestered away in Norfolk for the duration of production, staying in brick and flint cottages and spending weekends enjoying solitary walks. “[Branagh’s] prosthetics call was so early that he was in there way before the rest of us, and he’d leave way after the rest. I never actually met Ken as Ken. I only met Ken as Boris, which was surreal.”

Like the characters depicted in This England, Buchan is no stranger to the privilege associated with esteemed institutions. After a modern languages degree at Durham University, he trained at Rada, Britain’s most famous drama school. Future Hollywood stars like Tom Hiddleston and Andrea Riseborough were in his graduating class. But it was a far cry from most of his upbringing. It was his father who received the call to say that he had been admitted to the illustrious acting course. “I was working as a concierge at a hotel in Bolton at the time,” he says. “And he had got a call from the principal and said, ‘he’s actually at work at the minute.’ So he phoned the hotel receptionists, who were on the other side of the lobby, and they screamed, ‘Andy! Someone’s on the phone! He sounds quite important!’ And that’s how I found out about getting into Rada. As the concierge at a hotel. In Bolton.”

I want to draw parallels between Oxford – alma mater of both Boris Johnson and Matt Hancock – and Rada, but Buchan isn’t really having it. “I’m not gonna place too much importance on it,” he demurs. “You can either act or you can’t, and that’s what all the teachers tell you. In drama school, what they do is give you little devices for your kitbag that may help you in the future.” And his post-Rada career exhibited a similar lack of affect.

“I came out of drama school and had to get a part-time job, which was with Bulldog Broadband. And I worked with about seven Ghanaians and just had the absolute time of my life.” At no point in our conversation – which is conducted by phone, with Buchan tucked away in a Marylebone churchyard where the bells seem to toll every time I ask a particularly penetrating question – does Buchan light up as much as when talking about his time at Bulldog Broadband. “My agent would phone and say, ‘Oh, you’ve been offered this at the RSC.’ And I’d say, ‘I don’t think I want to do that; I’m having a lovely time here.’”

“The Ghanaians would bring me Jollof rice every day to eat. They’d change the screensaver on my computer to the famous waterfalls in Accra. I literally just had the best time,” he says, with a sigh.

And if you doubt the sincerity of this seemingly incongruous story – he is, after all, no longer working for Bulldog Broadband, having starred in dozens of TV shows, from playing the lead in Garrow’s Law to his turn as grieving father Mark Latimer in Broadchurch, and Hollywood movies, such as All the Money in the World – as we conclude our call, the publicist jumps back on the line and tells him that her family is from Ghana. Hearing this, I suspect as I listen in, is a source of far greater interest and excitement to him than talking about Matt Hancock.

It’s a transformation that Hancock himself is possibly undergoing. He sounds more excited talking now about crypto than he ever did when defending the NHS. “He’s obviously a clever chap but he’s also very ambitious,” is Buchan’s judgement, which is as close as he comes to volunteering a political opinion. And so how did he feel when, after wrapping filming, Hancock’s clinch with aide Gina Coladangelo made front-page news and ended both his marriage and tenure at the Department of Health? “This should be a huge box set if you think about it,” he tells me, “that’s where my head went at that moment. It was slightly ridiculous to think that we could cover the whole thing because it was such a long chapter in history, and ongoing.”

So he wouldn’t be tempted then, to don the NHS pin or the black turtleneck, and reprise his role as Hancock, perhaps in an office romcom about Matt and Gina? “I think that would be a no. I’ve got rid of him.”

[solicuttle]

Body Swap

Word Count: 0.9k

Warnings: None (?)

Characters: Saiki Kusuo, Akechi Touma, Saiko Metori, Teruhashi Kokomi

Kusuke’s latest experiments have had unforeseen consequences... suddenly you’ve switched bodies with...

-----

Saiki Kusuo

Holy shit imagine having this much power,,, the fact that you haven’t taken over the world (yet) is signaling your dwindling self-control. You sneezed and blew up an entire building. You can literally teleport! You teleported to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower and nearly gave the real Saiki a heart attack. After you almost teleported in front of Kaidou, the real Saiki banned you from using his psychic powers. Sorry but you just can’t help yourself!

The real Saiki would much rather you stay at home, but he doesn’t want you to run into the weirdo that is his father or worse – run into Kusuke. On the plus side, you did get to spend the entire day gawking at yourself because the real Saiki could not leave you alone.

It is a bit tiring hearing people think – and suddenly you have to avoid Teruhashi’s flirting, Aiura’s flirting, everybody’s flirting!! Since when did Saiki get so romantically popular? Acting so unbothered is hard, how Saiki does it is beyond you.

You suddenly have a weird craving for sweets too.

Bonus: Saiki absolutely hates being in your body. People keep surprising him and appearing out of nowhere! On the plus side, Teruhashi, Kaidou, and Nendou don’t disturb him as much… On the downside he has to make sure you don’t blow his secret!

-----

Akechi Touma

How is his head not splitting apart??? You think so fast, so quickly about almost everything. You tried to say “hello” to someone and ended up debating with yourself about the origins of the word. You could be thinking “the sky is pretty” and suddenly you’re thinking about “why is the sky pretty”, “am I the only one who thinks so”, “has the sky ever been ugly”—

Long story short you think. A lot. And talk a lot too. You can’t help yourself, everything’s so interesting! Things you didn’t have an interest in before are suddenly appealing; and you keep getting these weird urges to stalk Saiki… now you’re following the pink-haired male around? Why. Because your brain said, “hurr durr Saiki interesting.”

On the plus side, if you stay close to Teruhashi your brain has a meltdown and you don’t have to think so much. On the downside Teruhashi’s going to think you’re a creep.

Bonus: Akechi is floored. Is this how normal people think? He feels tranquil, like he’s just discovered inner peace of sorts. He’s achieved enlightenment. If people randomly see your body meditating blame Akechi.

------

Saiko Metori

It’s like you fart money. You nearly tripped over a rock and got caught by 3 different bodyguards. The offending rock was incinerated in your presence. With a gold-plated flamethrower. Life as Saiko is different. You could say, “I want this item” and get 10 copies of it (and an exclusive version of it). You’d gotten angry at someone who’d insulted you and your bodyguards had beat them up immediately.

Woah. Don’t let this power get to your head, young one. Too late you bought an entire factory to produce your favorite food item. The real Saiko threw a fit when you switch bodies, so you just have to drag him around you know.

You met his father too – not really though, because his father is so shiny you can’t even look him in the eye. This must be what they mean when they say someone’s made of money. You also have a pet tiger now! Cool. And you have the ability to get almost anything you want too…

Saiko has “pleaded” with you to not act different; you’d stuck out your hand for a “commoner” to pick up and Saiko had fainted. Apparently, his hand is worth a lot.

Bonus: Saiko cannot handle being a commoner at all. You have to take him everywhere. It’s weird to struggle for money or not have caviar at a moment notice. He doesn’t like this at all. He tried to order his butlers and they had the audacity to ignore him! Because of that, you implement a rule that the butlers have to listen to the Saiko in your body. If you use those privileges after you switch back … 😏

-----

Teruhashi Kokomi

You are now perfect incarnate. You are darling of the masses, of the world. You are God itself. Being Teruhashi is terrifying. You can literally feel the charm that surrounds you like a halo, the way people swoon (from jealousy or admiration) whenever you walk by. The feeling of people saying “oh” is quite nice too. You can get almost anything you want by using her devastating beauty!

Life should be perfect as Teruhashi! But being Teruhashi is hard. Despite never ever looking ugly, you never make mistakes. While that sounds nice you physically cannot say anything negative (without veiling it first) nor can you do anything particularly disgusting. If you can bend the rules to make it seem like you are doing these “crass and vulgar” actions to maintain the perfect, pretty girl image then perhaps you could survive a bit longer.

You have a weird attraction to Saiki now, whenever he walks by you feel urges to make him say “oh”. It’s terrifying.

Bonus: Teruhashi cannot stand this. People don’t say “Oh” whenever she walks by!! She’s being ignored! She did not build up the perfect pretty girl image for it to be stolen from her. On the good side, she can finally experience her own persona being reflected at her – Teruhashi’s hard work has paid off. She does not leave your side until this ordeal is over.

[soul-dwelling]

Thoughts on Tsubakis brother as a charchter? Do you think his arc could have been explored more deeply or atleast the effect killing him had on Tsubaki?

(That we have to call him “Tsubaki’s brother” shows how limited an impact he really had on the plot, doesn’t it?)

From what I remember, there are just two instances where Masamune has any impact on the entire Soul Eater series: the arc with his fatal fight against Tsubaki, and the Baba Yaga Castle arc where we see how his death affects both Tsubaki and Black Star. And that’s really not enough. 

I’m not going to act like this should be the totality of Tsubaki’s characterization, constantly going back to her brother’s death as influencing every decision or thought she has. But as someone who is still not getting over the death of a close family member, I’m not going to act like that death is not something that stays with you forever–it’s just the intensity of that feeling and whether you notice it at any given time. 

(We could debate whether Masamune counts as a “close family member” to Tsubaki when I just said he has only two moments of impact on the entire story. But that’s a flaw of Soul Eater overall: for all of the correct decisions to not let stuff like Maka’s mother overshadow the entire plot, at the same time not even showing Maka’s mother throughout any of Soul Eater was a mistake, and just this absence of Tsubaki’s family throughout the story, not just Masamune but also her father and her unseen mother, is such a weird exclusion.)

I understand that stopping the plot for another arc around Tsubaki may not have worked with pacing: Soul Eater is largely focused on the progression of Maka (and to some extent Soul), Kid, Black Star, and Crona, with all other characters mostly satellites around those four in service to developing them. And that sucks for Tsubaki, when so much of her development does feel like it’s to help Black Star’s progression. It definitely works: Masamune is that grim example of what Black Star could have become. But it is an opportunity that the plot progression hindered. 

So, ideally, if the manga’s plot couldn’t do it, then you just needed an off-shoot to give us that story about Masamune. Light novels are always an option. If you had a bigger budget, there could have been a film, an OVA, a stage play, a plot for a video game. But that would depend on a story that makes Masamune’s presence necessary, and I don’t know what that could be. (If it was me, it would be a story showing just what exactly Tsubaki’s mother was up to that she wasn’t home for her and Black Star’s visit–maybe a flashback arc that could show more about her along with Masamune so we get a sense of how he turned out how he did, and maybe a bit more how Tsubaki turned out how she did. I did just say that sometimes characters are used to develop other characters, so I don’t mind using Masamune to help develop more about Tsubaki.) 

But to answer your question: it’s hard for me to think about Masamune as a character, when there is not much to that character beyond what he contributed to the plot. He has suffered from feeling overshadowed and unappreciated, giving into his dark side, so all of that makes him a foil to Black Star, an idea of what he could have become. He’s pretty much the opposite of Tsubaki, in terms of goals, personality, and appearance, so he reinforces how kind and supportive she is, as well as her resilience to take on family responsibilities and the Uncanny Sword in ways that he could not. 

And yes, we needed more about the effect his death had on Tsubaki. She literally incorporated his soul into her, as one of the souls she “ate” on her way to turn into a Death Scythe–and it just doesn’t come up aside from these two moments, key moments to be sure, but small in number and overshadowed by bigger moments for Black Star and other characters. Like, think what her experience could also tell us about the typical weapon’s experience. You just consumed a soul: what is that like? We know the Will of the Nakatsukasa persists in Tsubaki because she took on Masamune’s soul–but is there anything left of him, at all, in that soul? Any memories or emotions? I’m not saying it has to be like that, as you can have a death that has some finality where there is nothing of Masamune that is coming back, leaving Tsubaki with that grief, best encapsulated by that scene of her crying and cradling his soul in her arms. But it is just weird to not get a bit more about him, if just in service of Tsubaki. 

I mean, we saw Liz losing her mind at the thought of ever having to fight Patty–we couldn’t give Liz a scene trying to talk to Tsubaki about this, if not to help Tsubaki process these feelings, then to show how Liz can’t process that idea? (And that’s not even getting into denying us a scene of Monica Rial and Jaime Marchi bouncing lines off of each other in such a scene.)

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 2: 1985-1986 West End

Hello, everyone! This is the latest edition in my attempt to chronicle all of the musical and lyrical changes which the show Les Miserables has undergone over the years. Today, we look at the differences between the later of the two available Barbican preview audios (more on that in Part 1) and the West End variant of the musical as it existed in 1986. Only one rather poor quality audio is available of the show's pre-Broadway, post-Barbican form (though a friend of a friend has multiple masters from the era that she apparently keeps meaning to digitize). It is known to come from 1986, but the exact date remains a mystery. As such we cannot know when exactly most of the changes might have been made.

Reportedly (according to The Complete Book of Les Miserables) the majority of these refinements were made between the closing of the Barbican show and the opening of the West End one. However, some further refinements were doubtless made during the Barbican previews, and some likely were made between the opening of the West End production and whenever the audio was recorded. With all that cleared up, let's get started!

As I mentioned in Part 1, the very early Barbican previews of the opening "Work Song" featured this chain of lyrics (no pun intended):

I’ve done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn’t care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn’t worth your life

I know she’ll wait

I know that she’ll be true

Look down, look down

She’s long forgotten you

As has also been established, later previews removed one sequence of lines to create the following exchange:

I’ve done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn’t care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn’t worth your life

However, by 1986 another sequence was removed and the originally removed one was added back then. Thus, the still-current lyrics as of today are as follows:

I’ve done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn’t care

I know she’ll wait

I know that she’ll be true

Look down, look down

She’s long forgotten you

A much better choice of cuts in my opinion. The point of the opening scene is to present the prisoners sympathetically, as comparatively innocent victims of an overly brutal and elitist police system. Establishing a member of the chain gang as literally being a murderer doesn't really help send that message!

Everything stays the same until "Fantine's Arrest". The Barbican previews feature this sequence:

(FANTINE)

There's a child who sorely needs me

Please monsieur, she's but that high

Holy God! Is there no mercy?

If I go to jail she'll die

(TOWNSPEOPLE[?])

Take this harlot now this minute

Let there be a full report

Let her go back in the morning

Let her answer to the court

(FANTINE)

Gentle Jesus! Won't you save me?

Are there tears enough to cry?

(JAVERT)

It's the same pathetic story

Please monsieur, my child will die!

I have heard such protestations...

By the 1986 recording, everything between "Take this harlot" and "Please monsieur, my child will die!" has been totally removed. I have a bit of a soft spot for that sequence, though I can't earnestly say the musical lost anything by removing it. Indeed Javert comes across as unbelievably heartless there!

As Part 1 pointed out, the earlier Barbican preview had Valjean shout "You know where to find me!" at the end of "Who Am I?", while the later preview did not. The 1986 recording interestingly reinserts that line, but now Valjean speaks it much more casually, without the slightly cheesy passion of the first recording. This makes me wonder whether or not it was initially removed because it was hard to take seriously, and a calmer rendition was reinstated as a compromise? Who knows.

A subtle change occurs at the beginning of the "Confrontation" sequence. During the Barbican previews, the number opens with a few notes being played and then repeated. However, by the 1986 recording the notes do not repeat. It goes straight into Javert's announcement (which Roger Allam has now learned to sing on time!) after the notes play the first time. The sequence would stay this way for quite awhile before being further shortened - more on that in a later edition!

We now go to the subsequent number, Little Cosette's famous "Castle on a Cloud" song. The Barbican previews give her a few lines before the main number starts (sung in a similar tune to her remarks about Mme. Thenardier's arrival at the end of the song):

They’ll come back any minute

And I’m nowhere near finished

Sweeping and scrubbing and polishing the floor

It’s the same every day, oh please!

Don’t let Madame hit me again

I should be used to it, but then

I know a place where nobody has to work too hard

And where I won’t be lonely again

These lines, taken closely from the original French concept album, don't really add much to the number plot-wise that won't be stated later except for more explicit confirmation that Mme. Thenardier is abusive. Perhaps partly for this reason, by the 1986 recording these lines are removed, and after the opening instrumentals it goes straight into the number we all know.

As I previously mentioned in Part 1, the later recording I have of the Barbican previews cut out the following lines during the preamble to Master of the House. I originally mistakenly claimed that the cuts occured after Thenardier's verse, but in actuality that verse too is removed.

(THENARDIER)

My band of soaks, my den of disollutes

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons homing in

They fly through my doors

And their money's good as yours

(CUSTOMERS)

Ain’t got a clue what he put into his stew

Must’ve scraped it off the street

Hell, what a wine

Châteauneuf de Turpentine

Must’ve pressed it with his feet

Landlord over here

Where’s the bloody man

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more or my old man is gonna do me in

By the 1986 recording, they are back in all their glory. Indeed, as you can read in Part 1 of this series Trevor Nunn himself has confirmed that the crew decided the number didn't work as well without the full preamble (an exception being, shockingly enough, Cameron Mackintosh).

During the Barbican previews, "Master of the House" was followed by a beautiful Well Scene between Valjean and Little Cosette:

(LITTLE COSETTE)

There is a castle on a cloud

I like to go there in my sleep

Aren’t any floors for me to sweep

(A FEW SECONDS OF INSTRUMENTALS)

(VALJEAN)

Don’t be afraid of me, my dear

Tell me your name and have no fear

How cold it grows when the sun has set

(LITTLE COSETTE)

I’m not afraid

Monsieur, my name’s Cosette

(VALJEAN)

Nor will you be afraid again

I come to take you from this place

There is a better world, you’ll see

(LITTLE COSETTE)

Give me your hand, and walk with me.

This leads into the humming duet between Valjean and Cosette. However, in what I consider the biggest mistake of this era's adjustments, the Well Scene was totally excised from the West End version and "Master of the House" is following directly by the humming duet. Trevor Nunn remarked a degree of regret about this in 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables. I don't have the book on hand right now, but I'll put down the exact quote later.

Of course, the Well Scene would later return in a much different form, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Perhaps to compensate for the deleted scene, another scene is added after the "Waltz of Treachery" number. During the Barbican previews, Valjean's "It won't take you too long to forget" is followed by a lot of vamping and eventually a reprise of Valjean and Cosette's humming duet. The West End production slightly reduces the vamping from about one minute to about forty-five seconds, and adds a scene (sung in the tune of "Castle on a Cloud", specifically the "there is a lady all in white" part at first and the main chorus for "Nor will you be afraid again" onwards):

(LITTLE COSETTE)

We're going home right now, monsieur

What is your name

(VALJEAN)

Now my dear

I've names enough, I've got names to spare

But where I go, you always will be there

Nor will you be afraid again

There is a sun that's shining yet

(LITTLE COSETTE)

I'm going to call you my Papa

(VALJEAN)

I'm going to call you my Cosette

The normal humming duet follows. This is a fascinating scene which seems to be exclusive to the brief era after the Barbican previews but before Broadway. It's interesting how it incorporates elements both of the opening Well Scene and of the more well-known later closing scene to the "Waltz of Treachery". It's also intriguing how it incorporates elements not really touched upon this directly in any other version of the musical, specifically just how mysterious and secretive Valjean is to the world in general as well as the fact that Cosette, in fact, is not truly Cosette's given name.

Everything seems to be the same from this point until "The Attack on Rue Plumet". In the Barbican previews, this is how the opening goes:

(EPONINE)

'Parnasse, what are you doing

So far out of our patch?

(MONTPARNASSE)

This house, we're gonna do it!

Rich man, plenty of scratch

You remember he's the bloke wot got away the other day

Got a number on his chest, perhaps a fortune put away

Took off like a guilty man, why would he want to disappear?

Now we're gonna do him right, this time no one will interfere

Everything from "Took off like a guilty man" onwards is removed from the West End version. Later in the number, we hear approximately the following exchange in the Barbican show. Fans have debated what exactly some of the lyrics are, but this is how I hear them:

(CLAQUESOUS)

What a palaver, what an absolute treat

To watch a cat and his father pick a bone in the street

(THENARDIER)

Not a sound out of you

(EPONINE)

What do you care if things scare me

(THENARDIER)

Listen 'Ponine, there might be jewels inside

There could be something for all

There could be bruises enough

You will have your share

(EPONINE)

Well I told you I'd do it, I told you I'd do it

The West End production reduces the vamping prior to this scene. Additionally, everything between "What do you care" and "You will have your share" is removed, meaning the "I told you I'd do it" is a direct remark to "Not a sound out of you". This is a much more linear and succinct way of moving the plot in my humble opinion!

That's it for act one! Act two begins largely the same, up until the scene where Gavroche reveals Javert to be a traitor. First off, Javert's original claim that they will "play their games" is changed to "spoil their games".

Next is probably this version's biggest change in the entire musical up to this point. Originally Gavroche sung approximately the following lines (once again, the recordings aren't as clear as would be desirable) in a unique tune heard nowhere else in the musical:

Good evening, dear inspector, lovely evening my dear!

A charlie for a copper who pays a call

I know who you’re supposed to be, Inspector Javert

Who never showed no mercy to no one at all

So don’t believe a word, none of it will wash

This time you’re reckoned without Gavroche!

The West End version scrapped this sequence and replaced it with "Little People" (which originally appeared in a much longer form later in the musical). This is how it went:

Good evening dear inspector, lovely evening my dear

I know this man, my friends, his name's Inspector Javert

So don't believe a word he says 'cause none of it's true

It only goes to show what little people can do

And little people know, when little people fight

We may look easy picking but we've got some bite

So never kick a dog because he's just a pup

You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up!

This edited placement of "Little People" is often attributed to the original Broadway production, but in fact it made its debut in the West End show. I'm not sure when exactly this was, given that the original cast album uses the long version. However, by the 1986 recording this is how it goes. It should be noted that it's not quite in its Broadway form, however; most notably, "We'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give up!" is not present.

A minor difference occurs during the First Attack sequence. In the Barbican production, this is how the students respond to their victory:

(GRANTAIRE)

By God, we've won the day

(LESGLES)

See how they run away

The West End production swaps the two students' lines, allowing Grantaire's slightly incredulous spirit to have a more poignant and/or amusing effect depending on your perspective.

Consequently given the new placement of the song, the show obviously had to be edited to remove the original "Little People" number. Originally, this is the way the show transitioned between the First Attack and "Little People":

(ENJOLRAS)

Courfeyrac, you take the watch

They won't attack until it's light

Everybody stay awake

We must be ready for the fight

For the final fight

Let no one sleep tonight

(GRANTAIRE)

Only little boys may sleep

For little people need their rest

Little tucks are quickly drained

And little grapes are quickly pressed

Come on little mite

It's time to say goodnight

Cue the original "Little People" number in all of its long, silly glory (in case you somehow don't know it, here are the lyrics). The West End production (and everything afterwards) cuts Grantaire's verse, so that the scene transitions straight from Enjolras' announcement to "Drink with Me". As much as I love the full-length "Little People" number (and I really do love it), I admit removing it was definitely the right choice. It's just so sweet and optimistic, it feels out of place in a musical as tragic and cynical as Les Miserables. It doesn't help that its placement is between a high-stakes action scene and a somber, slightly drunk reflection on the nature of friendships, sex, and romance. It's a wonderful song but a terrible Les Mis song. I do love it, though, and I also love how Grantaire manages to make his pre-song metaphors alcohol-related.

In the sewers, the Barbican recordings feature a unique tune not heard anywhere elsewhere in the musical (it can be heard here) before transitioning to the final Valjean-Javert confrontation. Apparently, this music was accompanied by a short chase scene. However, by the time of the 1986 recording there is instead what is essentially one repeated note which then transitions into an instrumental version of "Look Down". This is followed by the same Valjean-Javert confrontation as before.

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what’s commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I’d love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye…