#literally calls him a 'rich simp' and for that he's the worst man in the odyssy ever
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ik you've talked about it before but tumblr blog search on mobile sucks ass so if it's not too much of a bother could you redirect me to your posts on why you dislike emily wilson?
i've never made a post on it. but, here you go:
as a translator? i have no issues with her. her translations are pretty good. so her 'work' i don't have a problem with. don't get me wrong, sometimes i think she toes that dangerous line of 'women good. men bad. feminism.' black and white line very finely. it's a lot more subtle than most modern classicsts but yKNOW.
my issue comes from her introduction to the odyssey. so it's her introduction. her own thoughts. not a translation of something. or outside influence. HER introduction. she says:
The second is piled high with newly acquired treasure, brought by blustering, self-pitying Menelaus. As Menelaus pompously declares ... we meet the beautiful and frighteningly intelligent Helen back home in Sparta, with her wealthy, blustering, and rather less intelligent husband, Menelaus. ...and the rich, narcissistic, uxorious Menelaus.
she then, in book 4, translates the original text in which menelaus is NONE of these things. the only thing he's guilty of really, is the rich thing. cause telemachus is all like 'damn bro ur loaded'. but menelaus is not arrogant about it. he's not smug. he's not narcissistic. he literally says like 2 lines later that he would give away most of his wealth if it meant those who died at troy could come home.
'self-pitying' WHERE?! he cries because he feels GUILTY. the tears are not for him. they are the for the men who died at troy. i'm not getting quotes because it's literally in book fucking 4. he is NOT feeling sorry for himself he is MAD at himself for troy. the only thing i can THINK where he even links his tears to himself is because he says something like, 'every time i think of them i cry because i miss them all' or smth like that. he's not crying for HIM.
'rather less intelligent husband' - you know my feelings on this. menelaus is not stupid. helen is just very smart. and THATS FINE. i love helen being the brains, i'm not against a smart woman and her husband not being as smart. but like. because he doesnt recognise telemachus straight away? or the bird omen? he's stupid? really. we're gonna measure his WHOLE intelligence on that?
'uxorious'. menelaus loves his wife and that's pathetic and funny apparently? tell me. does she describe odysseus this way? hektor in the new iliad translation? i dont think so. 'excessive love their wife' that's what uxorious means. oh im sorry. forgiving ur wife and building a relationship with her and trying to move on together and being nice to her .... that excessive now??? thats??? bad???????
she literally takes menelaus' shining moments in the odyssey. him feeling guilty and remorseful. him showing how haunted he is by the war. him caring and loving helen despite everything. the fact that he is a compassionate. kind. loving man (in comparison to most homeric men) ----- and uses them to insult him. and it just GENUINLEY baffles me. because she wrote that introduction. and then four books later is ENTIRELY proven wrong? im so-----
dont get me wrong. some of this is just very pettty 'you're wrong about menelaus' anger. but some of it is BAFFLEMENT at the fact that she has this in her introduction, those are HER thoughts. and then when you actually get to the text of the odyssey from homer. she is wrong. cause she can't change those greek words too much. translation is a tricky mistress, sure. but she cant go and say 'then menelaus didnt care for those men' because that's just outright WRONG. she has to translate, as faithfully as she can, whats there. and whats there is NOT what she claimed in the introduction.
#negative //#long post //#i used this as an argument in my thesis#i feel like the 'less intellgient husband' quip is that like. men bad women amazing thing she does sometimes#when it can be. 'woman is amazing and smart. and man is not as intelligent but not a complete fucking loser'#is menelaus perfect? nooooo and i would never claim him to be#but dont use his actual positive attributes as INSULTS?! use the actual things wrong with him SDFGHJK#literally calls him a 'rich simp' and for that he's the worst man in the odyssy ever
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Part Four. "You hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"
warnings: swearing but that’s it (i think)! just karl being a goof and dream being a little shit but whats new word count: 3k (not ncluding pictures)
behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist
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Y/n sat to Karl's left, out of the camera's view as he scrolled through Twitter on his PC.
"Um... oh, how did you guys meet?" Karl read before looking offscreen at Y/n. "Uh... school?"
"What? I was going to make up a funny story but I'm appalled by the seriousness in your voice! Is that really how you think we met?"
The embarrassment on his face answered her question. "Karl! I'm two years younger than you, how would we meet have met at school?"
"I don't know!" he said back defensively, raising his shoulders. "Clubs?"
"Like I was in any of the nerd clubs you were in."
"Well, then, how did we meet?"
Y/n sighed with a laugh. "Our moms–"
"Oh, wait wait, I remember!" he cut her off, excitedly looking towards Y/n. "Our moms are friends and they forced us to hang out." He smiled proudly and looked back to his screen as he continued scrolling for good questions. "If I'm honest, I only still hang out with you because my mom makes me."
Y/n smacked Karl's arm and he laughed but pretended to be hurt. "WHAT THE HONK, BUGSY?!"
"I can't stand you. I barely hit you, nimrod."
Karl giggled and read another one. "How tall is Bugsy? Two feet, four inches."
"No, I'm 7'6," Y/n lied easily and Karl laughed.
"How tall are you actually?"
'I think 5'10 or something? Maybe 5'11. I'm not 6' but I'm taller than you for sure, I know that much–"
"Okay, you are not taller than me. Just to be clear. Chat, Bugsy is not taller than me."
"Yes, I am. Wanna test it?"
"No," he replied quietly in defeat.
"Because you know I'm right," Y/n laughed as her eyes flicked over to read chat. They were spamming their surprise, expecting her to be short. "Yeah, no, chat, I'm tall. I'm taller than Karl."
"Only because your shoes make you tall! Doc Martens are tall and that's pretty much all you wear!"
"You're shorter than me when I'm barefoot!"
"That's literally false. Like completely."
"Just accept it, shorty."
"I'll accept that you're taller than George and Sapnap, but not me. I'm barely taller than you but I'm still taller."
"Whateverrrr. I'll move on to protect your dignity."
Karl ignored her and laughed, pointing to a message from Dream in Karl's chat.
"Dream said I have short girl energy," Y/n read.
"You kinda do."
"What does that even mean?"
"You're shy around new people and you act all sweet."
"So tall girls can't be shy and sweet? Or shy and sweet girls can't be tall?"
"Stop twisting my words," Karl groaned.
"Also, wait, what do you mean I act sweet? Am I not?"
"No, you are. But I mean you also aren't when you don't want to be. Upset Bugsy is scary Bugsy."
Y/n frowned, not recalling a time she's ever been angry or upset at Karl but she let him move on. He pointed to another tweet as he looked at Y/n, giving her an 'I told you so' look. She read it before shaking her head at him.
"Don't read that one."
"Pleeease, can I answer?"
"No!" she whisper-shouted. I don't want to be shipped with him for asking or you for answering, she mouthed so Karl's chat couldn't put together clues.
"Are you assuming I'll answer positively?" he teased, earning him a hard smack on the arm.
Y/n couldn't help but notice every time she put her hands in the frame, which was usually to hit Karl, half of the chat turned into simps requesting a hand pic because they could see her bracelets and nail polish and now that they knew she was tall they wanted to see how big her hands were. They really wanted every crumb of content they could have regarding her looks. She caught one that said something pretty kinky about her hands which she tried to scrub from her mind immediately.
"Fine," Karl sighed at her request to not read Dream's tweet out loud, instead reading another. "Bestie sleepover? Yes! Bestie sleepover! Bugsy and I are gonna cuddle all night--"
"No, we aren't. I'm sleeping on a completely different bed. Or couch. Nowhere near you."
"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"
"Karl! Stop trying to get me to cuddle with you!" Y/n laughed as she pushed away his arms, which were trying to give her a hug. "You're a freaking heater and I don't like touching people!"
"That's my worst nightmare in a friend, how did I end up with you?"
"No idea. Deal with it. It's still a bestie sleepover even if we don't cuddle."
Karl giggled and looked back at his stream. "Oh, by the way, in case anyone ever wanted to know or was Dreaming about it, Bugsy is very cute. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone was wondering or if anyone tweeted specifically asking..."
Y/n smacked his arm again as she yelled, "Karl!"
He grabbed his arm in dramatic pain as if it had been cut off. "Ow! Ow! Bugsy hit me!" he cried as he fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Someone call a doctor!"
"I cannot stand you," Y/n informed as she stared down at him. She glanced at chat, who were all joking about how bad his condition was, saying things like they might have to amputate his arm. "Chat, don't encourage him. Oh, Karl I know what we can do!"
"As long as I don't need two arms for it..." his voice still laced with fake pain.
"Karl Jacobs."
"What is it?"
"Give me a tour of Dream's SMP. Dream whitelisted me yesterday."
"Oh, yeah! What could have possibly made you think of him?" he teased as he got back in his chair.
Y/n glared at him and he cowered slightly.
"Minecraft, yes. There's a PC in the other room you can play on. Do you need help setting it up?"
"No, I've streamed once or twice," Y/n teased as she stood up.
"I'm just trying to be a good host! Gosh!"
"Wait, I have to cross over to leave the room."
"Just do it? What's the issue? Literally no problem, just walk?" he joked before zooming in his camera on his face so it took up the whole screen. Y/n laughed as she went across the room, chat now forced to look at disturbingly close footage of Karl staring directly into the camera with his eyes crossed.
Y/n called Karl on Discord after logging in. "Hi, Karl and Karl's stream."
"Are you on yet?"
"I'm logging in to my Minecraft account right now."
"Okay, join a vc on the smp discord so others can talk to us if we run into anyone. I'll be over in a minute, just give me a bit to read some donations." They both muted, leaving Y/n to herself.
She typed in the IP address to the server and joined a random voice channel that no one was in. She spawned and looked around, confused by the cobblestone wall around her. Her phone lit up so she occupied herself with the texts from Naomi.
A green figure caught her eye on the screen and she looked up. In the distance was Dream's infamous green Minecraft skin punching the air as he faced her. He ran towards her and stopped in front of her. She set her phone down and slid it away, crouching as his character did the same.
Dream whispers to you: are you streaming you whisper to Dream: no but Karl is and he's about to get on to tour me Dream whispers to you: hmmm okay here
He uncrouched and dropped a few diamond blocks before punching the air again and running away.
Dream whispers to you: shh don’t tell anyone you whisper to Dream: omg :D ty <3 you whisper to Dream: first twitch donos now mc donos you whisper to Dream: rich man over here giving out money and diamonds to everyone like it's candy Dream whispers to you: no, only to you Dream whispers to you: a little gift before our date ;) Dream whispers to you: oh and this
He came back and paused in front of Y/n before dropping a red poppy and sprinting away again. She acted cool despite the huge smile on her face.
you whisper to Dream: charming you whisper to Dream: you give me a flower and dart away before I can properly thank you Dream whispers to you: oh yeah? how would you have thanked me?
Y/n smiled, her cheeks flaming up as a dirty thought entered her mind. Stop, he's not flirting, she told herself. It’s literally a block game and he’s not flirting.
you whisper to Dream: guess we'll never know ;) KarlJacobs joined the game
"I'm back," Karl's voice filled her headset as he joined her voice channel, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Where are you?"
Y/n looked away from the chat in Minecraft and turned around in the game. "Still at spawn. Some forest and cobblestone walls."
"Go left and I'll meet you halfway."
As she ran, the Minecraft chat reappeared with new messages for everyone to see.
<Dream> hey Karl <KarlJacobs> hello Dream <Dream> thanks for answering my question on your stream <KarlJacobs> just doing my civil duty as a bugsy dream shipper <KarlJacobs> official petition for the name to be dreamsy <Dream> signed
"Oh my gosh," Y/n muttered, making Karl laugh.
"What?" Karl asked innocently, but his laugh was maniacal. "Oh, I found you. This way! I built everything on the server, by the way. So if anything is impressive, just remember that I did it."
"Karl, that's the biggest lie you've ever told me. I watch the lore videos."
"Well, I did build it all so I don't know what to tell you. Let's go this way first."
Y/n followed as he showed her stuff, including background and unknown facts about things that have happened off stream. After the tour, they messed around the chessboard. At some point, she found a blue cornflower and turned to Karl.
"Do you have an anvil?"
"I don't exactly have one on me at the moment but I think there's one over here. What for?"
She killed some chickens with her fist to gain XP so she could carry out the task in mind. "I need to name this flower I found." She followed him a few blocks away and clicked the anvil and named the flower 'love, bug'. "Okay, thanks."
"Why did you name it?"
"It's a gift for someone."
"Me?" he asked as his character jumped up and down.
"No. My presence is your gift."
"Ouch. You know, honestly, I'm really hurt by that. Like, why would you say that to me? It's just sorta rude."
"Fine, I'll go get you a flower."
"Well, I don't want it if it isn't sincere. Who's that one for?"
"...no one."
"Tell me or I'll keep complaining about not getting a gift."
"I can deal with that."
"Okay, then tell me or I'll make you sleep in my bed and I'll smother you to death with my affection."
"Ah, okay, fine. It's for Dream."
"Wow you really hate me that much!" Karl laughed.
"No, I'm just not touchy like you!" she defended. She always worried she offended Karl since he was so physically affectionate towards his friends but she just wasn't a physical person.
"Oh, speaking of Dream..." he turned and Y/n followed his characters line of sight, having to zoom in to see the green figure perched at the top of a tree.
"He's very menacing."
"He does that."
<Bugsy> come here pls dream <Bugsy> i have a gift :]
Dream ran towards Y/n and stopped in front of her expectedly. She looked at Karl then back at Dream and dropped the gift, backing up after and crouching.
His character picked it up and held it, pausing to read the name. After a moment, he slowly looked up at Y/n's character before jumping and spinning in circles. Y/n hid her smile in her sleeve even though no one could see her.
<Dream> wait lemme see the one I gave you <Bugsy> what D: <Dream> I wanna name it
"What is going on?" Karl giggled.
"Gift exchange. Mind your own business."
"Woah!" Karl gasped dramatically. "Uncalled for."
Dream came back and dropped the renamed flower for her. Y/n picked it up and hovered over it to read the name.
'host, dream'
She gasped and started punching his character. He backed up and ran away but joined the call seconds later.
"Wait! Stop hitting me!" Dream yelled into her headset.
Y/n laughed, trying to contain her smile as she continued to hit the green character. "Dream! Are you kidding? I tried being all cute and you hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"
"It was a joke! You said something like that to Wilbur on Twitter a while ago, I was just using your humor!" Dream's giggles filled Y/n's headphones and she smiled but quickly dropped it so her voice could sound serious.
"Give it back."
Dream looked at her before letting out a small, "What?"
"Give me back the flower so I can go burn it with the other one."
"Bugsy!"
"What is going on?" Karl asked through a cackle. "Dream, did you hurt Bugsy??"
"Yes, Karl! He hurt my feelings! He gave me a flower and gave it back to name it something mean!"
Dream just laughed so Y/n punched him again.
"Dream! You can't hurt Bugsy!" Karl defended, also punching Dream.
All Y/n could hear was the sound of Dream wheezing, his character running as the two chased him. "Stop! You guys are so– STOP HITTING ME!"
"Fine," Y/n finally said, crouching and facing the ground as she walked into a corner to look like she was pouting. "I'm just not going to go on any Minecraft dates anymore."
"Wait, no," Dream protested in a soft voice, his character stopping to look at her's. "Take that back."
"Heart been broke so many times..."
"You're so stupid."
Karl gasped happily. "You guys have a Minecraft date? Can I help plan it?!"
"We did. In exchange for letting you give me the tour. But I've changed my mind since I've been so betrayed."
"Oh my gosh, you're so..." Dream trailed off but his wide smile could be heard through his voice.
"So what? Finish that sentence, Dream," Y/n dared teasingly.
"So... ANNOYING!"
"DREAM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" Karl yelled.
"Okay! I'm sorry! Bug, I'm so sorry. Really. Please let me... let me rename your flower something cute. It'll make you so happy that you'll fall in love with me all over again and–and we can go on our date. Please don't burn our flowers."
"And what if I don't give them to you?"
"I'll just kill you and pick them off your corpse."
"Woooooowwww. Okay, it's like that?"
"Yes, it is like that," he said through a smile. It was so apparent in his voice that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.
<Ranboo> how is the tour going Bugsy was shot by Dream using DEFINITELY NOT PENIS <Ranboo> ah going well I see
Bugsy screamed in her mic as the death screen appeared. "DREAM!"
"You took too long!" He wheezed as Bugsy respawned.
"I don't know where I am!"
"Hold on, I'll avenge you!" Karl declared before he died too.
"You thought you could kill me with your fists? Karl, you're naked and I'm wearing full Netherite."
"You weren't when I started punching you! You pulled that out of thin air!"
<Ranboo> canon
Y/n smiled at Ranboo's comment. She had never talked to him but she knew he and Tubbo were close friends and he seemed really funny. He had already proved he had a dry sense of humor in the 30 minutes she was on the SMP and she loved that. Y/n made a mental note to befriend him before returning to being drama queen to Dream.
"So, Dream, now that you've made me an enemy–"
"WhAT? We are not enemies, Bug. I'm actually naming a flower something really cute as we speak. Enemies don't do that."
"Maybe I'm not your enemy but you sure are mine."
"Oh come on now," he mumbled lowly, running chills down her spine. What the hell was that?? "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"
"You-you murdered me in cold blood. Nothing will make it up."
"So I could get the flower! It was out of love! So I could give you a better present! Does that count for nothing?"
"Hm," she hummed. "We'll see what new name you come up with and then I'll decide."
Karl and Y/n got back to the chessboard and waited for Dream to return with his new flower.
Breaking character and turning towards her best friend, Y/n laughed at Karl. "Sorry for distracting from our BFF shenanigans time."
"This is way more entertaining," Karl assured. "Me and my chat got front row seats to the Dreamsy love saga."
"Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him in-game.
"OW! STOP PUNCHING ME SO MUCH!"
"Okay, okay, I'm back!!" Dream announced and they saw his figure sprinting and jumping towards them. He dropped the flower for Y/n and stepped back, crouching and standing repeatedly.
Y/n picked up the flower and hovered over it to read the name.
"Is it worthy of your forgiveness, Bugsy? Does it pass the vibe check?" Karl asked with a giggle.
Y/n bit her lip as she smiled at her screen.
to the prettiest girl in the world. love, dream <3
It was a joke, obviously. He was just continuing the joke of flirting with her like he does on Twitter just like Sapnap and Karl and George and Quackity do. They all joke about flirting with her and this was another joke.
But it still gave her tummy butterflies.
"Bug?" Dream called softly.
But why would he joke like that when neither of them were streaming? Karl's chat wouldn't see it so there was no one to point in feeding into the joke, unless he meant for Y/n to show Karl? She was overthinking. She needed to play it cool.
She also needed an enderchest so no one could find it and no one could take it away from her and destroy it but they didn’t need to know she liked it that much.
"Mmm.... it'll do."
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A/N: yeeee hope you guys liked this one! i think this is my favorite so far i just think dream was being too cute and i wanna be best friends with karl so much it hurts. we’re gonna get deeper into the dream relationship soon!! i just needed to indugle in bff karl content real quick!!!
taglist: open (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman
#rpf#real person fiction#dream x reader#dream x y/n#dreamwastaken x reader#dreamwastaken x y/n#social media fic#dream smau#dreamwastaken smau#smau#mcty x reader#mcyt x y/n#mcyt fanfiction#dream fanfiction#dreamwastaken fanfiction
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Chapter 11: If You
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“I want to thank everyone for coming. I know some of you came from other cities, and it’s great to see you come here in Hyogo. Just now, I heard that all of the dogs have been adopted. I couldn’t explain the happiness I feel knowing that these dogs will finally have a safer place to come home to. But this is only the start. Once again, thank you. Please enjoy the rest of the day,” you say in the middle of the little open area of the shelter. Everyone claps so you bow and then start looking around.
“Hey, (Y/N).” Kuroo calls you and you see him holding Rice. “Can I bring your dog home?”
“No. Put him down and let him play with the other dogs,” you scold him. He puts Rice down and the dog runs to where Kenma is. The long haired man is seated at the corner, probably vlogging as well. “Where’s your wife?”
“I don’t know. The last time I saw her was at the airport yesterday. She’s probably with Alisa or something,” he answers you, shrugging nonchalantly. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
“He said he had somewhere important to go to first, but he’ll be here,” you tell him, then continue to interact with other people.
The Red Falcons are around, just like they promised. Suna brought Komori along, and the libero’s reaction to seeing you was priceless. He nearly fainted when you gave him a hug. Osamu catered so he was at the kitchen most of the time. Atsumu was playing around with his teammates, scaring the shit out of Sakusa by randomly holding up a dog to his face. The curly haired man only came because his daughter, Kia, begged him to go in her place. His sole purpose is to take pictures of the dogs for Kia.
An hour passes, people start going home, so you stay nearby the main door to greet them out. As you stand there, you hear a familiar voice, like literally. It’s a family member’s voice.
“Mom? Why are you here?” You ask in shock, forgetting to greet her properly.
Your feelings rages in fire just from seeing her. You and your mother have never been in good terms. She doesn’t see you as a daughter, but rather a competition. Ever since you were born, your father saw you as the most important girl in the world. And she hated that, she hated you. For that, she makes sure to give you a hard time.
“Is that what you say after not seeing your mother for a long time?” She says sternly, so you hesitantly give her a hug. “I came here to see how you are of course. And I wanted to talk to you about something. Sei’s here, too. He’s just looking for a spot to park.”
Your worries rise even more just from hearing your brother’s name. Sei definitely knows about Kita. He knows everything going on in your life without you knowing how. Whenever you come home for holiday, he just scolds you about all your life decisions. He’ll probably tell you off about dating a farmer, too. But compared to your mother, he is a saint. He’s Team (Y/N) all the way despite nagging at you a lot.
“So where’s your farmer boy?” Your brother says as soon as he nears you and your mother.
“He’s busy. You won’t meet him today,” you snap back, rolling your eyes at him.
“So the rumors are true, then?” Your mom hums. “Since he’s busy, when can we meet if we can’t see him today?”
“On our wedding day,” you deadpan and your mother chuckles. She pats your head so you move your head away in irritation. She smirks at you. “What did you do this time?”
“Nothing.” She smiles at you. You look at your brother and he’s eyeing your mother suspiciously as well. If there’s anything you and your brother can agree on, it’s that your mother is evil. “How about we eat dinner tonight? As family.”
“Okay,” you agree, not wanting to start an argument with her.
An hour or two later, Kita still doesn’t show up. You feel disappointed but you won’t get mad at him until you know where and what he really did. As he said, it’s an important matter. It might has something to do with her grandmother.
You leave Rice in Osamu’s care, without forgetting to warn him about not to overfeed the poor dog. Sei, your mother, and you proceed to the city. Since it’s too early for dinner, your mother decides to go shopping. You and Sei feel that something is up with your mother, but you can’t pinpoint what it is yet.
After shopping, the three of you direct to a shabby ramen place at a random street of Osaka, which heightens your doubts about your mother. She would never eat at such place. What exactly is she doing?
The waitress does her usual greeting as you enter, leading you to a table at the end the of hall. The place is packed with teenagers, couples, and just normal people. But making things even weirder, the table beside yours is empty. The waitresses lead coming in customers to another table or make them wait.
“What would you like to order?” The waitress asks you.
“I’ll get your best seller,” your mother answers. You and your brother say yours, then the waitress leaves to prepare your order. “So how’s university?”
“We’ve been together for more than 3 hours, but you’re asking just now?” You cock an eyebrow up and your brother calls you sternly. You sigh before answering your mother, “It’s fine. I’m getting good grades.”
“That’s good to hear. How about the whole vlogging thing?” Your mother continues to ask and you know where this is going.
“Mom, let her do what she wants,” Sei tells your mother before you can remark back.
“Welcome!” The waitresses greet as someone enters the store. Out of boredom, you check who it is and it’s Ayako? A man follows behind her and your heart shatters into millions of pieces then and there.
“Kita...” you mutter under your breath, clutching onto the chopsticks on the table.
Your head goes empty. Your heart drops. Every moment with Kita flashes your mind in one quick second. You know you can never compete with Ayako, but he should have told you. He promised to show up today. No wonder why he wasn’t replying to any of your messages. Because he was with her the whole day.
Ayako’s the important matter.
Did you even matter to Kita?
What do you do now? Do you slap him? Do you shout at him? Your head is clouded in anger. But somehow you still manage to think about your dog. ‘What about Rice? Kita mostly takes care of him. He might miss him.’
Sei notices your sudden change in mood and looks at where your eyes are stuck in. He sees Kita and Ayako walking over to the table just beside yours. He gives your mother a look of disappointment.
“What’s wrong with the two of you?” Your mother asks, eyes blinking innocently.
Kita sees you too, and his eyes widen in shock. He’s not one to be surprised, but this is something he definitely didn’t expect. In his mind, he’s literally shouting and begging for you not to misunderstand the situation. But he thinks it’s too late since the chopsticks your gripping on is already split in half.
Kita’s about to talk to you, but Ayako takes a hold on his wrist, pulling him to sit back down on the chair. Your mother starts laughing at your expression and you finally connect the dots. She orchestrated this whole thing. You should have known sooner. You should have seen it coming. After all, she’s the one who placed in your head that you marry a rich man. She’s the one who desperately wants you to marry into a rich family so she can have more money in her pocket.
“You are the worst mother ever,” you spat before slamming the chopsticks on the table then storming out of the store. Kita stands up from his seat as well, quickly following you out.
“Ayako, dear... I paid you a lot for this. I even bought you a ticket home. So do your job and make sure they break up,” your mother tells Ayako and she hesitantly nods and runs after the two of you.
Sei stands up then scoffs, “You know mother... the devil works hard, but you work way harder.”
“(Y/N)!” Kita calls you, his pace getting quicker as he sees you walk further than him. He finally catches up to you and he grabs your wrist but you shake his hand off.
“If you still love her, I understand. I don’t care anymore if you get back together. Did you even like me? Because to be honest, I think I love you. Say that it’s too quick for me to tell, and I think that, too, but I really do. And it hurts so much. I wish you did not date me when you still thought of her. Because it makes me wonder, ‘where was I then?’ Where was I the whole time?” You manage to say without your voice cracking, but you feel your cheeks getting wet from the tears coming out of your eyes. When did you even start crying?
“(Y/N). Please let me exp-” Kita starts to speak but you don’t let him finish.
“I’m taking Rice with me. Don’t expect to see us at home.”
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Facts:
ADOPT DON’T SHOP
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#haikyuu kita#kita smau#kita shinsuke#kita x reader#kita imagines#kita shinsuke x reader#kita shinsuke smau
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rating mankai company based on character design
Note: I will take into account hair, color scheme, sprite poses, mostly outfits that are not from plays or scouts, and memorability. This is half an objective view and half my personal opinion.
Disclaimer: I curse a lot for comedic effort. I am mean because I am funny. No, you cannot disagree.
Spring 🌸
sakuya: you get what you see. a literal spring babey. his hair and color scheme’s a little generic, but he’s mankai’s poster boy, so that’s understandable. speaking of generic, his main pose is just this emoji 🧍♂️ his outfits tend to be kinda basic, but any outfit with a mostly pink top gets him bonus points. 6/10
masumi: okay his hair is elite. probably one of the most memorable character design aspects among the cast. his mole and eyes also make him very pretty. love my boy’s dark color scheme. unfortunately, points must be docked for baiting us with the emo fit, then as the story progresses, he starts dressing like the trust fund kid he is smh. 9/10
tsuzuru: i love you tsuzu but. my mans is so basic. if he didn’t have such a great personality, he’d be as bland as untoasted white bread. the saya of a3. his best design aspect is the fact that he doesn’t dye his roots. his outfits look comfy, but not necessarily eye-catching. 4/10
itaru: everyone who starts a3! with no knowledge of these characters has one (1) thought about itaru. sec sea man. so obviously there’s something appealing/good about his character design. i think part of the appeal is his fuck-all demeanor. obviously, his eyes and hairstyle are attractive, but the way the artists draw him gives him an air of not caring, which is also attractive in a way. his dyed tips are also nice. he looks kinda lame when he dresses professionally, but his casual outfits hit. especially the ones with light pink. 8/10
citron: although i’m not a big fan of the “character is foreign and therefore must talk and dress different and be funny” trope in these types of media, his fashion does make him stand out from the other characters who tend to have more basic clothes. citron’s summer, travel, and autumn outfits SLAP and anyone who says otherwise has bad taste. his hair and eyes are interesting, but his overall color scheme can be a bit repetitive. 7/10
chikage: i hate this guy’s fucking bowlcut. fucking salad bowl lookin ass. every outfit is the same turtleneck and sneakers in two alternate colors. his outfits are so plain. only thing i like is his casual outfit glasses. HOWEVER. that’s the point. he’s supposed to look boring and blend in because he’s a spy. it’s a smart design, i just don’t like it so im docking points. stay mad about it. 5/10
Summer ☀️
tenma: im yawning. you think tsuzu was boring? this guy has orange hair and i still find his design boring. that’s how you know he’s basic. he’s got generic messy shounen protag hair. he could be from any property. if i drew fanart of him, people would ask where he’s from. he either dresses like your slightly homophobic frat boy classmate or a grandfather who gets his shit stolen by the asshole kids next door. 2/10
yuki: he has the r a n g e. all of yuki’s casual outfits hit. they’re all different, but cute in their own way. to no one’s surprise, one of the best styled characters. though i like his general color scheme, i’m personally not the biggest fan of his hairstyle. it’s okay, but a little plain at times. but i think it suits him well. 7/10
muku: i love him. muku’s design is what i love about this game. you see him, and you immediately know what his character archtype is supposed to be. he’s the soft, cute boy. and if this was a mediocre series, that’d be all muku is. but since this is a3, he’s so much more than that. he’s smart, passionate, sensitive to others’ feelings, and protective. a3 does a great job designing characters that look exactly like their archtype, but having a much more developed personality than that. getting back to the actual subject at hand, i love his hairstyle and color, as well as his outfits. you can never go wrong with light pink hair. i may be biased but fuck you. 10/10
misumi: another great memorable design. his eye shape and hair style are really unique. his outfits also elevate his design. street fashion is always a plus for me. though sumi’s design is special in the world of a3! where most of the characters are just. guys. regular lookin dudes. i think that outside of the game, his design would not be as unique. 8/10
kazunari: personally, im a fan. maybe it’s cause i have an affinity for blonde anime boys. but his hairstyle is pretty unique and his trendy looks set him apart from most characters, even outside this game. and he has a pretty lovable expression in his sprites. his fatal flaw is that his fits are either a hit or miss. they’re either really cute or wtf. at least he’s memorable. 8/10
kumon: i love that he reminds me of an owl. his hair and eyes are very cute and his color scheme is great. and i think they did a great job making him look related to juza, but still very much his own character. but he dresses like your classmate from middle school that looks like a nike-sponsored highlighter. yeah, he’s the sporty one, and i like the windbreakers but... i cannot excuse his summer fit. also, i find his design a little tame compared to some of the other characters in the game. 6/10
Autumn 🍂
banri: i hate his hair. i hate it so much. i know in canon it’s nice and he takes good care of it, but it looks so fucking greasy. the style makes him look so greasy and it makes me mad. he looks like an asshole. i mean, he is, so it fits. if this dumb bitch changed his hair more often, i’d like his design so much more. you saw this coming; his love for cheetah print is fucking repulsive. BUT, maybe unpopular opinion, minus the animal print, his sense of fashion is not bad. why do yall clown on it. if the fit is fresh, the fit is fresh. anyway, he looks like an ass, but objectively his design is kinda eh. 5/10
juza: im sorry im DEADLY fucking biased when it comes to juza, but he’s so handsome. his hair is a such a rich, pretty shade of purple and his eyes are so mesmerizing. his hairstyle is so attractive. his face is so pretty. yeah his design isn’t crazy unique, but the simplicity just works. im so sorry im this man’s whore i didn’t choose this life... but i can stop being a simp for one second to say that he has a boring fashion sense. i mean it’s kinda hot how simple his outfits are but his travel fit is good-- wait a minute i just remembered the fucking sandals. docking one point. 9/10
taichi: okay shut the fuck up i LOVE taichi’s design. so eye-catching and fun. as i’ve said i love street fashion, and taichi’s lil e-boy fits are right up my alley. that shade of bright red goes so well with his fashion sense, making a really cohesive design. with his main outfit, you can tell he purposely dresses like that to be trendy and it’s so smart. 10/10
omi: im sorry omi stans but his design is kinda,, boring. i legit had such a hard time identifying him when i first got into this game. the scar saves it a bit. but... only a bit. he’s just got. hair. and a dad outfit. i mean his tits are huge, but i don’t think i can call that a character design aspect. kinda forgettable design. i don’t dislike it though, so he ranks higher than tenma did. 3/10
sakyo: im not sure why but i really like sakyo’s design?? the contrast of his light hair and his dark clothes is nice. also, megane rights. even when i thought he was an npc during my first playthrough, i really dug his design and thought he was memorable. i actually cannot pinpoint a reason why. i wish i had more constructive things to say... but upon thinking about it, he has a karen haircut, which kinda dampers my thoughts on his design. i like his moles, but i honestly did not notice them until the game pointed them out. 7/10
azami: azami has a damn good design. i don’t think anyone can deny that. the long hair, the contrast of black hair and bright blue eyes, his eye shape. all very eye-catching design aspects. and the street fashion style strikes again. the color scheme matches well with everything. this review is lame, but there’s really only good things i can say about his design so. 10/10
Winter ❄️
tsumugi: it’s so late and im so tired of looking at these sprites. anyway, tsumugi’s design is okay. i think his color scheme’s a bit limited and his outfits are a bit meh. he has a more respectable bowlcut than chikage, but it’s still a bowlcut and it’s still boring. i think the best part of his design is his eyes, they’re very soft and kind. but other than that, tsumugi looks pretty basic. 5/10
tasuku: tbh, i didn’t even realize that the godza member tasuku was the same character as the winter troupe guy in the game’s opening until the middle of episode 3... yeah. im slow. ooooooor... tasuku has the worst fucking design in the game. yeah i said it. come at me, but tasuku’s design fucking sucks. i literally thought he was a minor character until they forced me to realize he wasn’t. his fashion sense is... questionable at best. i look at that man’s hair and think he doesn’t shampoo. he looks so bland i could dry up from looking at him. im sorry but his tits do not make up for the sheer fucking snorefest of his character design. he’s so boring i won’t elaborate anymore. 1/10
hisoka: ya get what ya see part 2. i like that i can tell he’s the sleepy and mysterious character just by his design, but honestly, that’s a character trope im generally not a big fan of. so i wasn’t thrilled by hisoka’s design at first. but it’s effective. i like the hairstyle with the white hair, but i’m not too fond of his color scheme. his outfits look comfy and soft though. it makes sense, but it’s nothing too memorable if you compare him to characters outside the game. 5/10.
homare: ah, now this is a memorable character design. his hairstyle annoyed me in the beginning, but now i love it. it’s so unique and fun. and i like the purple. i also like his outfits. very classy. but honestly, most of his charisma lies in his face. i think that the pure eccentricity of the hairstyle is enough to put him in the top tier without considering any other element. you really could not find this design in any other media. fuck it. i don’t need to consider anything else. 9/10
azuma: i’ll be honest. im not a fan of long-haired anime men. especially the pretty, flirty types. i don’t know, i just don’t vibe with them. originally, i didn’t like azuma’s design, but now i do. i don’t know how, but i think it’s because azuma is just that powerful. his ponytail makes it more bearable for me and i like the way his bangs frame his face. he just has pretty eyes and face. unfortunately his color scheme is a little too repetitive for me and his casual outfits are a little boring. 6/10
guy: maybe it’s because he looks dead inside, but i love him. i don’t even know this character that well yet, but i think his deadass expression is great. the darker under-eyeline sets him apart from the other characters and i love how he dresses. i think his hair is kinda eh. i personally like it, but objectively, it’s meh. it’s a solid design, but ngl it’s nothing special when i really think about it. 6/10
#for legal reasons this is a joke#this entire post should be underlined with a /lh#i love them all very much im sorry for being mean#except for chikage he deserves it#long post#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#A3! Actor Training Game#mod tsuzu talks
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