#literally any book: old married couple growing fat & happy together

[queer-ragnelle]

So evil that I have to work to live instead of reading books and chilling full time instead.

[takealottodragmeawayfromreddie]

If Reddie and the rest of the Losers (as adults) were on a sitcom/dramatic comedy

Season 1, episode 1

Richie and Eddie prepare to move away from the Losers appartament to their first house as a couple. After finding out Eddie is exaggerately anxious about the moving process, Richie insists for him to rest, claiming he can do it all on his own. But even the best house can't be perfect and, when he notices, it's too late. There's only one man who can help him now: Ben Hanscom.

Meanwhile, Eddie tries to have a relaxing day at the spa with Beverly, but he can't help but wanting to check out on Richie at every moment.

Season 1, episode 2

Georgie goes to college and a fraternity takes interest in him, but if he wants to get in, he will have to do some reckless and even cruel thjngs. Worried, Bill decides to have a heart-to-heart talk about peer pressure with him.

Meanwhile, the Reddie house situation gets worse and it's time for Stan and Mike to step in. Beverly's attempt to distract Eddie from it by taking him to a baking class gets literally out of hand when he loses his promise ring after taking it off and forgetting about it.

Season 1, episode 3

Eddie finally visits his future house. However, Richie is full of surprises, even if he didn't contribute to make them happen at all.

Meanwhile, Mike deals with a difficult costumer at the library and is dertemined to find the perfect book for them, and Beverly and Stan have a very intense Mario Kart race, calling Ben as a referee to make sure all is fair game.

Season 1, episode 4

Bill is struggling with his new book and his editor is growing impacient, so Mike suggests they go in a little road trip, like his characters do, in order to find inspiration. It doesn't go as well as expected.

Meanwhile, Richie and Eddie move out together, but convivence without the rest of their friends is a bit changelling, and Stan makes the huge mistake of offering to help them out every time they have an argument.

Season 1, episode 5

The Losers go to the beach. Even though Ben's overweight days are far behind him, he can't help but feel insecure with all these good-looking people in swimsuits around, especially his beautiful girlfriend. Luckily, Beverly is there to let him know that, even if he was still fat, she would love him all the same.

Meanwhile, a group of weight-lifting jocks make fun of Eddie's skinny complexion, and he's determined to destroy them. Mike and Stan try their new metal detector, Richie gets sunburned and Bill desperately tries to hide the fact that he can't swim.

Season 1, episode 6

Richie and Bev are preparing for a rock n roll dance contest and Eddie's insecurities and internalized biphobia kick in when he sees how close it has brought them.

Meanwhile, Mike is starting to get homesick, especially over Mr. Chips, his dog, and Stan, Bill and Ben try to cheer him by finding a new pet for their little family, even though their ideas about the perfect one couldn't be more different.

Season 1, episode 7

The holidays are here and the Losers Club couldn't be more excited about it. All of them except for Stan, who, unable to visit his family, feels alone and out of the party.

Refusing to see any of them sad in such a special time of the year, his friends make a decision: they're going to bring Hannukah to him.

Season 1, episode 8

Due to Spring Break, Georgie visits the Losers house and plans to spend his small vacation with his brother, and Meredith, his new girlfriend, who is also coming with him. Meredith is a trans woman and, even though Bill likes her and he doesn't have a problem with that, he can't help but being always afraid of saying the wrong thing and making her uncomfortable, which is, ultimately, making everyone uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Eddie buys an old, rusty car, and even when it's not worth fixing, his mechanic pride won't let him give up on it.

Season 1, episode 9

The Losers Club return to Derry for a small classmates reunion, which means they'll have to face all the rumors, jokes and reject they suffered back in high school again.

Will they be capable of standing all this humiliation again? Or could the ultimate prank make the whole classroom regret it?

Season 1, episode 10

An innocent truth or dare game reveal some forgotten high school secrets and all the Losers end up mad at each other except Mike and Ben. It's up to them to save the club.

Season 1, episode 11

Bill's book is finally published and the reviews couldn't be better. Well, except for that one. What does it say? It's hard to tell behind all those asterisks. Who wrote it? Nobody knows, and no matter how many times Mike tells him he shouldn't take it seriously, he has to find that reader and find out what they meant.

Meanwhile, Richie and Eddie try to have a romantic date, but of course it can't go that well.

Season 1, episode 12

Richie has a new routine which, out of pure oversight, includes one of his oldest and most infamous impressions. Even though Mike doesn't actively call him out on it, he can tell his friend is upset, and he has no idea about how to fix it.

Meanwhile, Bill gets a very young and particulary devoted fan.

Season 1, episode 13

Eddie's mother is in the hospital and, after years of silence, he has to face her. Sadly, Sonia doesn't seem so happy about his decision of moving away and getting a boyfriend. Will he be able to resist the pressure?

Meanwhile, Richie meets his own family again and, desperated for showing his parents that he has grown up, he pretends to be the son he thinks they always wanted.

Season 1, episode 14

Stan and Ben realize that, even though they have close friendships with the rest of the club, they don't hang around on their own a lot, and after being told they're too safe and predictable, they decide to do something exciting.

Meanwhile, Richie and Beverly pretend to be a couple so they can attend to the wedding of two complete strangers. A party is a party.

Season 1, episode 15

A producer contacts Bill to turn his novel into a musical play. Scared of the director completely changing his story, he offers to adapt it himself. Maybe not his best idea.

Meanwhile, one of Eddie's co-workers makes a comment about the right way of "being a normal gay guy", and Eddie starts to question if he's the right kind of gay.

Season 1, episode 16

Ridiculous videos of Richie jerking off and talking dirty get leaked by a resentful ex-girlfriend, and even though he tries to take it easy and tells a lot of jokes about it, Beverly is determined to make him understand that he has every right to feel hurt and betrayed.

Meanwhile, Ben helps Bill with his play and Stan and Mike watch a movie together.

Season 1, episode 18

Mike starts dating Rita, one of his co-workers, and even though everyone seems to like her, she just doesn't look good in Stan's eyes.

Meanwhile, Richie keeps dealing with the consequences of his private video getting leaked and so does Eddie. No matter how hard it becomes, they're together in this.

Season 1, episode 19

When Eddie's mother calls him to give him a new lecture about how she knew Richie wasn't good and how he should leave him, Eddie finally cuts her out of his life completely.

Meanwhile, Stan and Mike talk about their feelings.

Season 1, episode 20

Beverly learns she's pregnant. Since she wants it to be a surprise, she asks Richie to keep it a secret.

Meanwhile, Ben confesses Eddie he wants to ask Bev to marry him, and asks him to keep it a secret, too.

Richie and Eddie prove to be the worst at keeping secrets when the whole club, except Ben and Beverly, find out.

Season 1, episode 21.

Ben, Mike, Stan, Bill and Eddie share their ideas for the best proposal ever, but none of them seem to click.

Meanwhile, Richie and Bev have fun visiting baby articles stores, pretending to be a couple again, asking for the most ridiculous stuff and coming up with the weirdest names ever. Richie has a hard time not spoiling the proposal situation.

Season 1, episode 22

Bill's play debuts and it's the perfect occasion to ask the big question. What could possibly go wrong?

Season 1, episode 23

After the failed attempt to propose at the theater, Ben decides to go simple and just say it. As long as Beverly doesn't say it first.

Meanwhile, weird things happen at the Reddie house and a few of Stan's jokes about it are enough to make Richie and Eddie think there's something supernatural behind it.

Season 1, episode 24

Ben and Beverly start planning rheir wedding, but some creative differences might get in the way.

Meanwhile, Stan's dad visits to meet Mike and, even though he isn't openly against their relationship, he clearly isn't okay with it, either. And Richie has fun introducing Bill to the horrors of fanfiction about his book.

Season 1, episode 25

With Ben's wedding right around the corner, Richie decides to give his friend a bachelor party he won't forget, with a little help from Bill and Stan. At first it's great, but when they wake up to find they lost the groom, they conclude that maybe they got carried away.

Meanwhile, Eddie and Mike try to give Beverly a nice and tamed bridal shower, but she won't settled for less than the ultimate night out.

Season 1, episode 26

It's wedding time! Time to have fun and celebrate love. Of course Beverly is kind of sad when she remembers that she was supposed to walk down the aisle with her father, and she wishes she could have someone to actually call "dad", but she won't let that feeling put her down. At the end of the day, Ben and her will say "I do"'

Meanwhile, the way both Richie and Eddie catch the bridal bouquet seems to indicate they're saying "I will"

[ranya-smut-blog]

Married to Dr. Woods III

“Momma!”

“Hey baby, how was grandma’s house?”

“Really fun! I got to play with Abby and she makes yummy cookies!”

“That does sound fun, I missed you though” Anya tells her daughter sadly

“Aww momma don’t be sad, I missed you too” she says hugging Anya

“Mommy missed you too, she’s in the kitchen. Go say Hi”

“Okay” says the little girl and goes to look for her mommy.Raven was in the kitchen making lunch for them since Anya earned some time off because of solving the governor’s sickness. They planned on having a lot of family time and to surprise their daughter with the new puppy they had gotten.

“Hey sweetie! I’m glad you’re back, we got you a surprise” Raven tells her daughter

“Oh I wanna see! I wanna see!” The little girl replied excitingly while bouncing up and down on her heels

“He’s out back, c'mon”

She followed her mother outside and there she spotted the little golden retriever, not that she knew the breed or anything. For all she knew, there was a furry little dog in her backyard that she was aching to play with. She ran towards the animal and hugged him really tight.

“He’s so cute mommy! Can Abby come over and have a doggy play date with him?”

“We’ll have to ask your grandma and grandpa okay honey?”

“Okay, what’s the puppy’s name?”

“Your momma named him Odie”

Their daughter nodded her small head and called for her new pet. She chased after him and vise-versa. Raven laughed at their actions and soon was accompanied by Anya who held her wife from behind.

They had their daughter 6 years ago, a year after they got married. Raven was on her second year of being a music teacher and Anya was on her third year of medical school when she was conceived. Of course they had help from the sperm bank but they picked a donor that looked a lot like Anya.

They named her Kaia Reyes-Woods and she was the little girl version of Anya. She had the eyes, eyebrows, lips, and skin tone. She had Raven’s hair, appetite, and goofiness. She sometimes says their sarcastic remarks and they blames themselves for that.

When Kaia is with Ava, Clarke and Lexa’s daughter, they are disastrous.  They both are 6 so they had a lot in common and plus they’re growing up together. They had Logan, Octavia and Lincoln’s son but they ended up moving to New York. One of the pranks they did to their mothers was to replace their shampoos with a mixture of toothpaste and mouthwash to make it liquidy. They got in trouble so much that day but they both swore it was worth it.

“So I was thinking we wait for Clarke’s shift to end so Lexa, Ava, and her can accompany us to the fair tonight” The doctor told her wife

“Sounds good to me. Have you told Kaia?”

“No, I kinda want it to be a surprise”

“Well she’s going to be one happy child. A new puppy and a trip to the fair with her best friend and family? That’s the life” Raven says as she observes Odie jump on Kaia causing her fall

“Well yeah I mean she has pretty cool parents”

“I guess you can say we’re pretty dope” the brunette states as she reaches for her sunglasses that hung at the front of her shirt and puts them on

“I’m pretty dope, I don’t know about you” Anya jokes

She earned a slap to the arm from her wife, “Meanie”

“You love me”

“Unfortunately”

___

“Oh my gosh! Mommy can we get on the carousel?!” Kaia asks excitingly

“Anything you want baby, c'mon lets get in line” Raven tells the girls as they roll up their sleeves, ready to show their bracelets.

Some minutes later, both girls were on a white and black horse. Raven stood in between with a hand on each of their backs, just in case they’d fall or something. A mother could never be too protective, unless you’re a teen, that’s when it seems like they are.

“Who knew we’d have such a beautiful family” Lexa says

“I know, I still remember when you guys would always flirt in the high school hallways but neither of you made a move” Anya recalled

“Shutup, not my fault Clarke made me nervous”

“Excuses, you guys were such pussies”

“I mean you are what you eat so…” The dance teacher told the doctor who now had a disgusted look on her face

“Gross Lexa, I didn’t need to know what you two do every Friday night”

“Hey, you started it. You can only blame yourself”

“Whatever” Anya mumbled

“Hey babe, remember when Anya was so whipped back in college when she met Raven?” Clarke asked her wife

Lexa laughed, “oh yes, she literally left the dorms in the middle of the night to get Raven pizza because she was craving it”

“Where did you find a pizza at 2 in the morning?”

“The 24 hour diner down the road” Anya mumbled embarrassed

“That was goals. I know Clarke wouldn’t have done that for me” she said as she sent a small glare in her direction

“She was on her period, her hormones were everywhere” Anya tried to explain

“Who was on their period?” Raven asked with the two girls on her side

“No one” Her wife quickly replied earning a suspicious look from the brunette

“What’s a period aunt Anya?” Ava asked

“Something you’ll know later on”

“We already know. It’s a dot at the end of a sentence.” Kaia stated proudly

The adults smiled, “Look at that, you are really smart”

“I know, just like my momma” the little girl replied with much confidence

The smiley doctor crouched down to her daughter’s height and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. Raven whined since Kaia didn’t mention her too but then the little girl told her you too. Afterwards, Anya looked around the fair, trying to find a fun ride she could get on.

“Clarke! We have to get on the roller coaster” said Anya as she spotted the big ride

“Yes! I haven’t been on one in years”

Totally forgetting about their families, they sped walked to the ride. It was a race to them and their wives just shook their heads because they always acted like children when they were together. Even at the hospital when they got the lab results mixed up and told the wrong patient she was dying. The woman ended up selling her house, quitting her job, and breaking up with her boyfriend. When she heard that they had mistaken her, they were lucky she didn’t sue them. Of course Anya blamed Clatke and the doctor blamed the Anya.

After the ride, Clarke was feeling a little queazy. Lexa kept telling her it was her fault, she didn’t have to follow Anya everywhere. It seriously sounded like a mother scolding her daughter for doing everything their best friend did.

Then they decided to go get some cotton candy from a booth nearby.

“We’ll have 3 blue ones and 3 pink ones”

The little girls ate their cotton candy in excitement and shut their eyes as they enjoyed the sweet taste in their mouths.

“I can’t remember the last time I had this stuff” Anya spoke, “Probably because of all the glucose and fats in it” she continued

“You’re supposed to be on a break, stop talking all medical and enjoy the candy” Raven told her

Anya was about to reply but she received a phone call from the hospital.

“Hello?”

“Dr. Woods?!”

“Yes that’s me”

“We need you to come in, ASAP”

“What? Why? I’m on my break" Anya said as she raised her voice a bit. This made every one curious

“Yes we know, but we wouldn’t ask for you if it wasn’t an emergency”

“What’s the great emergency that I have to split my break in half?”

“There’s been a stomach flu epidemic in the hospital, it’s hit more than half of the staff and we don’t have enough healthy staff to attend them" the nurse explained quickly from the other side

“The stomach flu? That’s ridiculous. They don’t need escorts to the bathroom every time they have a bowel movement or if they have stomach cramps”

“It’s not just that Doctor, the effected are vomiting blood”

As Anya heard the word blood, she immediately knew it wasn't just the stomach flu. This was something more serious than that.

“Okay let me finish my cotton candy and win something for my wife and daughter. I’ll be there soon" then hung up

"What happened?” Raven asked

“Epidemic in the hospital, we have to go back in and help them. Then I have to figure out what’s wrong with them”

“What type of epidemic?”

“I’ll tell you in the car on the way there but first, where is the basketball booth? I’m ready to win some prizes”

___

After winning Raven and Kaia a couple stuffed animals, Anya was satisfied and apologized for having to go into work. She also told Kaia that she’d make it up to her and the little girl happily agreed and she told her momma that she understood that she had to go save people’s lives.

She was only 6 years old but she understood the importance of her mother’s job. At school she always boasted about her mom because she saved people from death. She also talked about her mommy because according to her, she was the next Beethoven. She only knew who he was because Raven would talk about him all the time to her. She was a pretty intelligent girl, I mean who wouldn’t be if your parents read music books and medicine books to you as an infant?

“Okay how many do we got so far?” Anya asked

“20 doctors, 45 patients, and 30 nurses”

“Make some phone calls and tell them we can’t be accepting any more people here. We’re not available until we figure out what this is” Anya ordered

“Yes doctor” the nurse nodded and headed back towards the nurse station

“What are you thinking Anya?” Clarke asks

“It’s something in the digestive or immune system. Let’s start with examining one of the patient’s, they will represent all 95 of them”

“Okay what should I run?”

“Imaging tests on the digestive system, then some blood work”