#literally all that happens here is papa archeron says “I can get gold” and tamlin says “no”

[ifacotarwasgood]

CHAPTER 4 - page 9/?

original word count: 2843

revised word count: 1521

click for ch 4's full comparison document.

original:

whatever he meant to say died in his throat as the beast roared again. But hearing those few words he’d managed to get out, the effort he’d made…it was like a blade to my belly. My father cringed as he said, “Please—” “Silence,” the creature snapped, and rage boiled up in me so blistering it was an effort to keep from lunging to stab my dagger in his eye. But by the time I had so much as raised my arm, I knew he would have his maw around my neck. “I can get gold—” my father said, and my rage guttered. The only way he would get money was by begging. Even then, he’d be lucky to get a few coppers. I’d seen how pitiless the well-off were in our village. The monsters in our mortal realm were just as bad as those across the wall. The beast sneered. “How much is your daughter’s life worth to you? Do you think it equates to a sum?” Nesta still had Elain held behind her, Elain’s face so pale it matched the snow drifting in from the open door. But Nesta monitored every move the beast made, her brows lowered. She didn���t bother to look at my father—as if she knew his answer already. When my father didn’t reply, I dared another step toward the beast, drawing his attention to me. I had to get him out—get him away from my family. From the way

revised:

[nothing to see here - the comparison software spaced it this way because my revision has significantly fewer words!]