#literally I was staring at it for a good minute like hmmmmmm....why is this familiar....

[xivymoonartx]

*drawing ghirahim in a pose where he's holding open his top* ........where have I seen this pose before.......

o h

[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays calling cipher part 2

(Last Time on Calling Cipher... )

Lily, screaming, and banging her hands on the table: LET RILEY SAY FUCK

(jump cut)

Lily, screaming: LET RILEY SAY FUCK OUT LOUD! NOT IN HER HEAD! WE ALL SAY FUCK INTERNALLY! AAAAA

Brid: Lily, I am begging you to calm down. This is a video game! 

Lily: *literally falls off her chair* 

Brid: Lily? Lily, are you okay? Lily?

------------

Brid: Hey guys, Ace Hang is back again with more Calling Cipher! I’m Bridget!

Lily: And I’m Lily!

Brid: When we last left off, we finished the prologue, met our protagonist, thirsted over her... 

Lily: Mostly that. 

Brid: She was so cute, though... 

Lily: We also met a few characters, thank god we’re not the only girl here, learned there was some kind of conspiracy going on, and now we’re playing detective because we’re dumb and foolish, and we’ve recruited our friends to help us. Because we are all dumb and foolish. 

Brid: So what exactly did we learn? 

Lily: Maybe they should have watched the first video in the series. 

Brid: ... Yeah. Anyway, we stole a file from a school computer and some short kid thinks we’re our long-distance boyfriend. 

Lily: Plus we ran into our ex, and also got teased over us accidentally thirsting over our calc professor. 

Brid: By everyone and their mom. And our mom too. Like damn, she’s thirsty.

Lily: Not fun. 

Brid: I think the fact that we’re making a second part makes us qualify as masochists. 

--------

Lily: Oh, hey. Chase. What’s up?

Brid: Rich people things. The economy. Republicans. Nyu hu hu hu hu. 

Lily: Never say that again. Anyway, we’re really diving right into the investigation, aren’t we? 

Brid: Yeah. Wrong route, girl. 

Lily: Nah. 

--------

Lily: She’s out here wondering if he has a swimmer bod.

Brid: I don’t actually know any swimmers, so... no wait, actually, Narin’s older brother does swim a lot, so...

Lily: But you’ve never seen him shirtless.

Brid: Yeah, no.

(five second asexual silence while music plays in the background)

Lily: Are all straight people like this?

Brid: Aw, he just winked. 

Lily: AW????

(some lines of text later, the protagonist just straight up says that the professor has a spider on his head, without making any side comments on how stupid that move was)

Brid: W O W. that was... a move. Not a power move. A move.

Lily: She doesn’t even regret that one. Holy shit.

Brid: If I said something that stupid I think I’d die of embarrassment. “Hey, Mr. Balls. There’s a spider on your head, that’s why I was staring at your piercing.”

Lily: I love how he fell for it, too! 

Brid: Fucking hell. He might actually have a personality that isn’t just “horny”. 

Lily: Oh my god, isn’t it funny that he joked about the spider and his name is Mr. Parker?

Brid: There is no way they’re going to pull a spiderman joke.

(the option to pull a spiderman joke)

Lily: OH MY GOD

Brid: THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN

Lily: AN ICON! A LEGEND!

Brid: LET ME MARRY HER

--------

Brid: So Riley wants to take over her parents’ network security company, while Chase wants to take over the pharm business, and... 

Lily: Guess so. And? 

Brid: Well, my parents do financial consulting, and they want me to take over. And you know how Nick’s parents are, like, huge stockholders in Kronus Technologies? 

Lily: ... Nick... who? 

Brid: Nick Kronus. I don’t think you’ve met him, but he stays at Mr. Perch’s place sometimes. He and Val... don’t exactly get along. 

Lily: Oh. So... rich prodigal son. 

Brid: Yeah. So.... actually, it’s kind of cool that both Riley and Chase want to take over their respective businesses. I mean, I don’t, and like... I’m hoping Mr. Perch will let me take on an internship or something. 

Lily: Dude, you know he’d do anything for you. He likes you more than he likes his own kid. 

Brid: I feel bad, honestly. 

(dialogue) 

Brid: “What are you up to, Chase Colton? What’s your deal?” Oh, man. He’s trying to look for information on Reynolds, isn’t he? 

Lily: Yeah... We did tell him, yeah? 

Brid: Of course. He was with us when we were looking over the computers. 

Lily: Wait, but familiar word-

(Matt walks in) 

Lily: GOD DAMN IT

Brid: I KNOW THIS IS YOUR ROUTE BUT FUCK YOU

Lily: WE ARE BUSY

Brid: YES YOU ARE INTERRUPTING SOMETHING

Lily: Oh, he knows who Chase is, too. 

Brid: Oh no. Also, I love how Chase is taller. That’s so funny. 

(dialogue) 

Brid: Oh yeah, I forgot that this was a community college. Yeah, why is Chase attending a community college? 

Lily: I love how Matt is just chipping into him. 

Brid: Man, Riley doesn’t even give a fuck. 

--------

Lily: Oh. “There are rumors of an undercover cop working the case”. That’s interesting. 

Brid: Wait. Wait. Could that be referring to Kai? 

Lily: ... Huh? 

Brid: Remember he was chatting with that guy that called him “shorty”? 

Lily: Oh, yeah. 

Brid: But first, lemme go grocery shopping! 

(The let me take a selfie song plays in the background with a bunch of grocery store vines displayed on screen for like 30 seconds) 

--------

Lily: Love this elevator music. 

Brid: (laughs out loud) She hit someone with a shopping cart! 

Lily: Fucking disaster bi! Lily: OH MY GOD IT’S THE FUCKIN. THE FUCKIN CALC GUY

Brid: SORRY WE FUCKING RAN YOU OVER WITH A SHOPPING CART DUDE

Lily: JE NE REGRETTE NEIN

Brid: I REGRETTE IT

Lily: “so anyway you just killed my foot”

Brid: “no i didn’t”

Lily: “fuck you i’ll sue”

Brid: “you’re poor”

Lily: “and now you’re roasting me”

Brid: “shut up and i’ll buy you coffee”

Lily: “and now you want to poison me”

Brid: “ha joke’s on you i’m a mess”

Lily: This fucking banter, dude. 

--------

Brid: She’s a PALADIN who rides a GIANT FLYING MANTA???

Lily: I LOVE her. 

Brid: I’d die for her. 

Lily: Damn, he sure knows a lot about network security. HMMMMMM

Brid: Oh would you calm down?

(more witty banter until he calls her cute)

Brid: “HE JUST CALLED ME CUTE!” Fool, I’m in love with her too! 

Lily: You’re out there, and she’s- OH SHIT! SHE JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A DODGEBALL!

Brid: Ouch!

Lily: Okay, but like, seriously? I’ve gotten hit in the face with dozens of balls and yeah. Ouch. 

(romantic scene) 

Brid: She is so cute. 

Lily: Wait. He has a ponytail? 

Brid: So? Sam has one. Anyway, she’s precious. 

Lily: SHE THOUGHT FUCK AGAIN-

-------

Brid: Great. We call our mom and get even more roasted. 

Lily: I. Hate this. But at the same time, I wish my mom were, like, cool. 

Brid: Okay, but like, yeah. I’d take being roasted over the bullshit I have to deal with every day. 

Lily: Anyway, I now know where she got that sass of hers. 

Brid: “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS??”

Lily: “I’m a romantic, honey! Also, like... make sure you get me some of that”

Brid: Oh, she’s asking about that program that deletes the original from the original IP. 

Lily: Right. I love how the mom’s just like- “no. don’t do this again, honey. you promised”

Brid: This fucking MC... she is so valid. 

-------

Lily: Oh hey. It’s Kai. 

Brid: Time to pull out my Val impression. 

Lily: Can’t wait! 

Brid: “How the hell should I know? Did you give all of the computers nicknames?” Pff. I love doing my Val impression for this guy. It’s so on point. 

Lily: What did Val say about your Val impression, anyway? 

Brid: He said that my voice was too high pitched to sound anything like his voice, but Arthur said the inflection was spot-on!

Lily: I definitely see that, yeah. 

Brid: I mean, he’s so Val, though... 

Lily: Don’t start assigning kins, now. 

Brid: I’m not looking to get murdered by one of my co-stars. Oh, hey, Chase is here. 

Lily: And looks like we’re actually going to learn something. 

-------

Brid: Dyphine! 

Lily: A drug they’re working on. Stolen two years ago... 

Brid: And Jennifer Reynolds stole it and deleted every other copy. 

Lily: Damn. 

Brid: And you could net a lot of cash for it. 

Lily: ... Wow. And he needs our help to track her down. 

Brid: Do you trust him? 

Lily: Do I trust anyone? 

Brid: Yeah, good point. I mean, it’s Big Pharma, but at the same time, he’s been earnest with us. 

Lily: Oh, but wait! We have the formula! 

Brid: Yes! Let’s solve this case. 

Lily: I swear to god, if we head back home and it’s deleted. Because that’s totally going to happen. 

-------

Lily: OH NO. We’ve been hacked. 

(text on screen pointing to brid with her eyes wide at the art)

Brid: Well, shit. Cinematic hacking time! 

Lily: And this music is epic! It’s like final boss shit! 

Brid: Go girl! Go counter hack them!

Lily: YEAH BABEY

Brid: “If I’m going down, you’re coming with me, motherfucker! Yeah baby!”

Lily: I can’t believe she’s spamming the connection with pussy pics. 

Brid: ... did you have to phrase it like that

Lily: Hey, they’re saying something. I’ll voice it. “Bitmap? Really?”

Brid: “SORRY NOT SORRY”

Lily: “You have something of mine...” Oh no, it’s Jennifer!

Brid: Oh my god. 

Lily: Wait, no...? “I’m the guy who’s about to break your last shield”...? 

Brid: What? 

Lily: Wow, this is intense. “Nice job with the flooding btw.” Damn. “Would have worked if I weren’t on Egon.” Where was that mentioned before?

Brid: Huh. 

Lily: “Cute pic, though. Later, kitten.”

Brid: ... Is it... the teacher? 

Lily: Let’s see... yarn... crap, I can’t see past the dialogue box. 

Brid: Mah girl’s fired up! What’s next, baby! 

Lily: ... 

Brid: ... 

Lily: THERE’S AN UNRELEASED PART 2??

----------

(post video)

Brid: So what are your theories regarding Calc Daddy?

Lily: ... did you have to call him that

Brid: *snort*

Lily: Okay, like in all seriousness... hold on, give me like, fifteen minutes to collect my thoughts, because I have a lot of theories and they need some time in the Brain Oven. 

(one jump cut later, Lily is holding up a sheet of paper, which Brid is trying to look at, but Lily isn’t letting her)

Lily: Okay, so my conclusion from what I saw so far is that there is a 90% chance that he is, at the very least, connected to Juh-Reynolds and he’s either Jennifer herself, or working with her. My reasons are thus. First, you saw in the prologue that he called Ry-Ry “his little thief” indicating that she stole something from him. And he traced it using an IP address. So unless ya boi Cipher somehow VPN’d and made us a puppet, that file was somehow “his”. But wouldn’t it belong to Jreynolds, since Dyphine was HER research?

Brid: A-jreynold-in.

Lily: Fuck you. Second, and this one’s more of a symbolism thing, you might recall that password for the file was “icarus”. You know who he is, right?

Brid: Yeah, the guy who sculpted wax wings, flew into the sky, and then they melted and he fell.

Lily: You know how his sprite has a necklace shaped like a wing when he’s not wearing clothes?

Brid: When he’s not wearing clothes?

Lily: When he’s not wearing his suit and tie. Oh my god, we’re not at third base yet!

Brid: *laughs* Okay, but like, actually... that is interesting, I never made that connection.

Lily: Third, you saw how hard he grilled Chase over the whole “why the fuck are you attending a community college” thing. We didn’t notice because he was literally doing exactly what we wanted to do, and giving us the answers without us even needing to ask.

Brid: Yeah, and Riley was like, “yeah, keep saying shit”. I don’t know if he thought we shared the same goal or something... or if it was just a coincidence. Or, no! He probably wanted to know what we needed to know for J. K. Reynolds.

Lily: And number 4 does fit in with all of these, plus it also gives a clue to his motive. He said some things that would sound normal, except, they might not... I forget the exact context, but something about buying something expensive came up, and Riley said something like “aren’t you a community college professor, why are you doing something expensive, you don’t get paid for shit” and I think it was about moving into the neighborhood, though I could be wrong. And like, even though Riley is attending a community college, her parents are like network security people, she’s rich. And he’s... not?

Brid: Okay?

Lily: Recall that Chase said that you could make a shit ton of money from selling that formula. If he’s not J-Money herself, I think he’s working with her for a cut of the profits. More than enough to buy a house.

Brid: Right, and whatever answer he was about to give, we never got to hear it because mah girl got hit in the face with a soccer ball. 

Lily: Also, this one might be weird, but remember when we were hacked and we were sent a kitten picture?

Brid: Yeah?

Lily: Wasn’t the kitten sitting on a really pink blanket?

Brid: Yeah, it was, I think. Why are you asking?

Lily: It was shown off, so I think it’s relatively significant. This might be a long shot, and it does have a few conditions, but recall that he said at some point that he was staying with a friend. And I think he does chat with Riley at some point about high level computer stuff. Assuming he was the hacker or knew the hacker, I think from that, and the fact that the blanket was pink, that we can infer that his friend is a woman. And who’s the only adult woman in this series? ... besides our dirty minded mom?

Brid: It’s Jennolds!

Lily: That was... actually really clever. And we know that she can’t exactly show her face with Chase around. So she might be sending someone to do her dirty work for her. *eyes light up* ... wait, who’s the professor he replaced? Because he said that he’d be subbing for someone, some female professor, and then he cancelled all of our tests-

Brid: ...

Lily: ...

(they both dive for the keyboard)

(Text pops up on black: It was “Professor Mendez”, not “Reynolds”. Well, shit.)

(More text: The wing necklace part was correct. The grilling Chase part was also correct. However, though the pieces about him not getting paid much as a community college professor was mentioned, there was nothing about how much it cost to move into the neighborhood. We might have been thinking of the cosplayer character. But we forgot the fact that he happened to know network security programs pretty well when we were talking about the manta ray mount.)

(More text: Also, we were wrong about the pink blanket. It was more of a grey-ish-purple, but there was also a ball of yarn and a folded blue striped something on the blanket. Wonder what it could be?... seriously Lily thought it was his tie, but the text box is a bitch)

(More text: Anyway our conclusions are the same. Unless these were a bunch of red herrings.)