#listening to 'say it in red' pod go through each episode has made me want to jump into a reread soooooo badlyyyyy and i think.

[nocturne-of-illusions]

now i'm rewatching umineko motion graphics vol8 and sobbinggggggggggggg........ oughhhhhhhh..... horts so bad..........

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge ✨

SEASON 4

Tuffnut choked on a stun dart- I think I've seen it all regarding the twins HAHDHSHHA

Fishlegs really had Meatlug opening its mouth WIDE JUST TO SAY ABORT THE VERY LAST SECONDHAHSHGSGG

I love how Hiccup and Astrid can communicate without actually talking 🥺

I love how all dragons are a reflection of each of their owners like even tho Barf and Belch aren't the smartest they can be whenever they actually try

- Snotlout and Hookfang are both hotheaded and never really listen

- Fishlegs and Meatlug both are sweet, smart, resourceful and jealous sometimes hehe

- The twins and Barf and Belch are crazy and dumb but can be smart and strong whenever they need to be

- Astrid and Stormfly are both authoritative and badasses but also caring

- Hiccup and Toothless are both natural born leaders

Astrid built the ballista

Fun fact: Mala means bad in Spanish and it makes sense if you think about it cause Mala is BADASS HAHDHSHAHA😂 sorry I make bad jokes like that

Hiccup referring to Tuffnut as one of his best friends is adorable 🥺

"Flattery has no effect on me, mainly because I never hear any" dudeee ruff that's so saddd🥺😭

JAJDHHSJSJS TUFFNUT REALLY SAID "IT'S TIME FOR BALLISTA-NUT" AND JUMPED RIGHT OFF OF TOOTHLESS

And then him actually fighting Gruffnut is pretty badass I mean they threw actual punches and kicks and everything 😳

Why was Hiccup so cold towards Astrid? When she was just trying to help with his bounty problem

The way Toothless prevented Stoick from killing Savage 🥺🥺🥺

Now that I think abt it Hiccup got kidnapped so many times

Stoick punching Ryker and threatening him is one of the best things I've seen 🤩

Dude poor Snotlout was just insecure in ep4 And I love how Hiccup tried to help him and even then Snotlout still tried his best to show that he can be a leader

- i really loved how he learned that he couldn't just stop covering someone, I mean even when Astrid told him to "peel off and help Hiccup" he was like "no way I'm not leaving your wing" 🥺🥺🥺

Submaripper - tidal class, super powerful, prefer deeper open water and typically very reclusive. Extremely territorial and dangerous.

I LOVE HOW THE SUBMARIPPER SAVED HICCUP, and Toothless's face whenever he couldn't get Hiccup out and Barf and Belch breaking the pod to get him 🥺🥺🥺I can't

𝕃𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕕𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕤𝕪𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕠𝕞𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕤

- multifaceted disorder

Uncontrollable euphoria - Astrid

Lack of coordination - Heather

Mood swings - Snotlout

Complete catatonia

Cold ankles

Rash

Paranoia - Fishlegs

I CAN'T LOOKING AT THEM LIKE THIS IS JUST TOO FUNNY. NO ISTG EPISODE 7 IS GOLDDDD AND WHEN THE DRAGONS TOOK OVER 😂

Stoick is so fine 🤩

JAHDHAHSHA HICCUP REALLY OUT HERE FAT-SHAMING HIS DAD when poor Stoick is just trying to tell him that going after Viggo only for revenge is neither safe nor the right thing to do

- "What? What do you mean? You love revenge. Revenge is your thing. Weren't they gonna name you Stoick the Vindictive before... Well you know." *signals to Stoick*

Shadow wings - ep7 they follow, herd and shadow. Big one isn't as fast or maneuverable. Small ones are smart and quick. The big one looks like the submaripper.

AND THE WAY TOOTHLESS DEALT WITH THE LAST OF THEM. It was amazingggg he dived down towards a lil pond but he couldn't see cause of the dust and so HE USED THAT ONE SHOT THAT LETS HIM SEE TO KNOW WHEN TO GO BACK UP AND ALLOW THE BIG SHADOW WING TO CRASH AGAINST THE WATER.

The Flying Shatter-Scatter move with Shattermaster and Windshear was so cool and it's also basically the only thing that has pierced through dragon-proof ships

Bro I really wanted to see Astrid saving Toothless when she saw he was in danger in ep8

I DONT WANT HEATHER TO LEAVE UGHHHH 🥺

HEATHER AND FISHLEGS ARE SO GOALS I CANT 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭 I LOVE THEM TOO MUCH

Everyone's shocked faces whenever Hiccup and Fishlegs weren't thinking the same thing HAHDHSHABA

Toothless's facial expressions whenever he saw Astrid was in danger and the way he grabbed Snotlout and went down the volcano just to try and save her- I love their relationship 🥺

And how Hiccup was so worried when he saw Astrid in the lava and the way he grabbed her 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Dude I shipped Throk and Mala so harddd

And the red night terrors ufff we love them

Tuffnut just killed Macey

Ruffnut is so badass bro I love her she really had a sword to her neck and was like "take your best shot pal"

Project Shellfire: a weaponized dragon, Shellfire - tidal class, Titanwing, bigger than a submaripper, long range firing capabilities.

Hiccup just saved Astrid from falling to the water and the way he looked at her right after he put her down- he seemed so concerned I can't 🥺😭

BLINDSIDED ALSO LOVE THIS EPISODE 🤩🥺

First name Astrid calls out is Hiccup's 🥺

Her eyes omg

The way she started hyperventilating and the way he held her hand with both of his and the way he kneeled down next to her and made sure she knew that he was still there and the way Toothless's facial expression went 🥺😔 and the way he put his wing on her legs to try and cover her or protect her 🥺🥺🥺I can't

I mean Imagine how Astrid must've felt I just can't I'd be so stressed out and desperate and the next day she was just like I'm going to look for my dragon idc

No dude because the way Hiccup grabbed her by the waist to prevent her from falling off of Toothless and how both of their expressions softened whenever he told her not to apologize and whenever she hugged him 🥺

I love how the twins are trying to learn how Astrid feels but Ruffnut takes advantage of "blind" Tuffnut and has him run off of a cliff

AND HOW HE CAUGHT HER AND GOT SO NERVOUS WHEN THEY BOTH FELL DOWN 🥺 wait now that I'm watching it again he actually prevented her from getting hit in the head omg

"Of course she's not gonna hide. What was I thinking? She's Astrid."

MISTAKE whenever Astrid took the dragons out of their pens they weren't wearing their saddles and now that they've found them they have them on.

Them spending time with each other's dragons is so funny

Nonono I can't this is the beginning of it all! The beginning of Hiccstrid dating is HERE!!!! and that scene whenever he tells her that she's strong and they'll get through it and he holds her arm and then slowly moves down to her hand 🥺 I love them too much I can't- I want what they have. HE WAS GOING IN FOR THE KISS TOO I CANTTTTT OK THIS IS TOO MUCH

"There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid. Always."

TOOTHLESS'S FACE 😳

I love how Meatlug got so serious after she heard Toothless's distress call

ASTRID IS SO BADASS I CAN'T SHE'S JUST SUCH A NATURAL AND AUTHORTITAVE I LOVE HER

THE HAND THING WITH ASTRID AND THE TRIPLE STRYKE 😩

Fishlegs riding Hookfang is HILARIOUS

That final scene is gold bro I just can they're too perfect I mean we get Toothless and Stormfly messing around in the background and then we get Hiccup scooting towards Astrid so that their shoulders were touching and also Hiccup asking Astrid if she's really ok and then him telling her that he never stops worrying about her and her saying that she feels the same way AND HER ASKING HIM ABOUT THE ALMOST-TO-BE-FIRST-KISS IN THE FOREST and him getting all nervous and being like "no it wasn't perfect" and telling her that he thinks abt kissing her a lot AND HER BEING LIKE "this seems pretty perfect to me" AND THEN BAMM THE KISS UGHHH IM NOT CRYING OK... yes I am😭

Hiccstrid kiss count: 2😘

I love how Astrid comforts Hiccup and puts her hand on his chest

Wait shit I completely forgot That Snotlout is actually the one that came up with ~Hiccstrid~ hehehehe -> also the first one to notice that they were acting kinda sus (nvm he thought one of them had a gambling problem)

Ruffnut's impression of Viggo is actually pretty accurate

Heather knowing about Hiccup and Astrid and just getting the gang away so that they can have a few seconds alone

OMG THE SUBMARIPPER I LOVE IT!! It is the natural and hated enemy of the Shellfire

The Triple Stryke let Dagur ride him

HICCUP CALLED DAGUR BROTHER I CANT

No and when they kissed IN FRONT OF THE GANG AND THEY WERE ALL LIKE 😳😦 AND "This. Changes. Everything." Iconic

I can't imagine watching this season by season and having to deal with that cliffhanger LIKE WHUT- the whole volcano just exploded and ur telling me that's IT!! Nope nope nope

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Blood Red Heat prt 32

For a moment, Keith found the world black, before the sound of party poppers hit his ears and his sense of sight returned. Confetti and streamers falling from above were the least of his worries. All his emotions pushed to the extreme at the scene in front of him.

He was in Bob’s fucking stupid game show studio. Around him, the black shadows of the audience were cheering. In front of him Bob was in his ridiculous floating chair... Keith wanting nothing more to fly into a rage and punch the green bastard squarely in the jaw, because, seriously, what the fuck was this.

Behind Bob stood the pack, Lance dressed in his blue armour, with Pike now placed in what looked like one of the castles healing pods. Despite the presence of their team, the light behind their eyes was black and vacant, as if in a state of sleep walking. And behind them stood two giant gameshow wheels, one with the character names on it, the other with different scenarios. Keith staggered on the spot. All of this... all of this was some kind... some kind of fucking game?! This was their lives... the games show... he’d broken Lance’s heart to pieces... and now, Bob?

“What the fuck?”

Moved by some invisible force, Keith was pulled to the front of the stage to stand by Bob, he wanted so bad to punch him, but his body didn’t move

“Welcome back! Who would have thought after their last disastrous performance, we’d see such an overwhelming display of friendship. Let’s give it up for everybody’s favourite Paladins!”

The audience cheered. The lights of the studio blinded Keith, unable to see anything past the edge of the stage. Maybe it was a good thing he couldn’t speak or move now...

“Yes, our favourite Paladin are back! After our last episode, we were inundated with your messages. We heard you! I heard you! Now let’s talk to the man of the hour, Black Paladin Keith!”

Cheering again for him, Keith blinked, then blinked again in surprise that he’d been able to blink

“Keith, you’ve been through a lot. How do you feel this affected your relationship with Lance... Any chance we’ll be expecting baaaaaaby Paladins any time soon?”

Bob winked at him. Keith saw red all over again

“What the fuck?!”

Chuckling, Bob’s chair floated backwards from him

“I think the shock must have gotten the better of him!”

Keith went to move to grab Bob, his body didn’t listen... the wanker had only given him enough use of his body to reply and blink?!

“Seriously, what the fuck is all of this?!”

Bob chuckled, the audience laughing along

“Isn’t he a riot? We’ve never had such ratings before, and with poor Lance feeling so outcast, we all felt it was our need to bring your feelings to light!”

“How is that any of your business?!”

“It becomes my business when the fate of the universe is at stake! Voltron could never hope to defeat all those evil doers out there without being a united front!”

“So you tried to kill Lance?! We should kill you!”

“Whoops, folks! I think I’ve made him mad! Let’s look back at what happened the last time we had the Paladins grace us with their presence!”

The two gameshow wheels dropped into the floor, a screen coming down. The first few seconds counted in the movie, like the really old movies back on Earth. Under the influence of Bob, Keith was turned on the spot, watching that “scene”. That scene when Keith had crushed any ounce of confidence left within Lance. “I just don’t wanna be stuck here for eternity with Lance”. He deserved the booing that the audience gave him. With his not so finest hour broadcast to... wherever this shit was televised, Keith’s cheeks burned with shame. He’d been so cruel to the man who’d always had his back. Who’d supported him when Shiro had gone missing. Some team leader he was.

“Yes, yes! Our young Red Paladin was crushed! But I knew better! I could see inside their minds”

Bob wriggled his fingers, like they did on Earth when talking of vaguely spooky things. Keith cutting in

“I know I fucked up! I would have taken those words back if I could have!”

And Bob ignoring him

“This episode stuck with me. I found myself saying “Bob. Bob, my man, can we really leave the universe to such a divided team? A Red Paladin who was falling apart. A Black Paladin who broke his heart. Of course we couldn’t!”

Keith had already hit near apocalyptic rage

“Do I not get a chance to defend myself here?!”

With a click of his fingers, Keith found a dummy in his mouth and the inability to spit the thing out

“The only thing for it was a dashing love story where our two heroes finally revealed what they meant to each other! Let’s bring him around, please give a big round of applause for Laaaaaance!”

God, no. This was too cruel. Lance slowly raised his head, showing him those blue eyes he’d missed so much. The crowd cheered for Lance as Lance looked terrified beneath the burning lights.

“Hush, hush! I know you’re all as excited as I am! Our two star crossed lovers, finally reunited on screen! No one could have written a better love story, except for I!”

Bob laughed obnoxiously. Keith shook. Lance wanted to move, but all Bob had done was awaken him to this freakfest. Catching the Red Paladin’s eye, Lance’s pretty blue eyes welled with tears of guilt. Shit. Fuck. It felt like a thousand poisoned thorns were being shoved down Keith’s throat. The guilt choking him alive. Lance had never asked for his cruelness

“Awww, I think he missed him!”

The audience letting out a long “aw”. Bob might be a god, and sure, killing Zarkon then pissing off Lotor had been hard enough, but Keith wasn’t about trying to slay a god.

“I said to myself, Bob, when was the last time our Lance was truly happy? Was it when Keith returned?! No! Keith ignored him! Was it on the game show?! No! Then it hit me. Monster and Mana. Monsters and Mana where no one noticed the pain he hid so plainly with his vanishing character! What a perfect setting! What if Pike was cast into a world? What if Lance was cast as Pike, the dorky thief that felt outcast?! What if we watched as Lance found his way out of that doom and gloom, and I must say, the results speak for themselves! We’ve been treated to a feast of angst. And that twist with the pearl?! Lance’s experiences gathering into something tangible?! The more he found his way back, the more he struggled to keep his head high as show the depths of his forgiveness, with his dashing boyfriend there to show him what true love feels like... Marvellous! We’ve seen good times and we’ve seen bad times! It’s been a rating bonanza!”

Keith wanted to vomit. The game was punishment for all of them. They’d all fucked up. They’d all let themselves fall prey to the delights of space

“With love and courage, we’ve watched these two fall in love, and wasn’t it glorious!?”

The crowd cheered wildly. Bob chuckled, before waving his hand to bring the cheering back down to silence

“I know! I know! I sat there and I listened. I listened to the things the Red Paladin said about himself. I watched as he died to save the Paladin who’d replaced him! And what did he get?! A broken heart! No! No I couldn’t accept that!”

Pressing a button on his remote, a dummy version of Lotor dropped from the ceiling. It’s eyes black crosses, clearly denoting a dead Lotor

“Why must he go through so much pain when the one he loved the most was too stupid to see him?! Then, the chance came! Our Red Paladin was on his last legs! A red heat setting in, threatening to claim his life. Now was the time!”

The crowd gasped, Keith tried to fight being held in place. He wanted to comfort Lance. None of this was right. Lance... he didn’t deserve this. Keith did. He’d been the narrow minded arsehole whole pushed Lance away rather than admitting he cared about him.

“None of us could have expected the adventure we’ve been on! Let’s give it up for our star couple!”

Lance and Keith both moved, forced to stand next to each other. They were so close. If Keith could just move his little finger he could loop it around Lance’s. What Lance must be thinking... Keith could almost hear the omega’s heart breaking in guilt

“Take a bow!”

They were forced to. Bob’s chuckling suddenly turned serious, kind as if when he spoke, they were the only ones to hear his words

“Without my intervention, all hope for the future would have been lost. You’re both profoundly young. Stupidity can only excuse so much. Don’t make me step in for a third time or you will not like the results...”

Bob’s tone snapped back to what it’d been before, smile back on his

“And with that, the Voltron Show comes to the end! I know! We’ve all been on the edge of our seats for so long! But these brave heroes must get back! They have a long journey before them. Give it up for Keith and Lance!”

As the crowd cheered wildly, and confetti fell from above again, Keith’s world swam. His stomach felt like he’d gone hurtling out of control as the world dropped away around him. Bob’s voice echoed in his ears, barely a whisper above the sound of his pounding heart “If you hadn’t followed, all would have been lost to you forever”

*

Bob could have been gentler with the awakening part. Keith felt smacked in the face as his alpha roared back to consciousness. Gripping his head, several long moments passed as everything sank in. He was back. They were out the game. He was back... Lance?!

“Careful there, number two! You’ve given us quite the scare”

Letting his hands drop, Keith blinked. The alpha’s eyes gritty from sleep. His hands felt... weird. As if this was him waking up in the game, rather than him waking up in the right reality

“Lance?!”

He had to know. His question coming out surprisingly loud for someone who’d been basically comatose

“He’s resting. His fever has broken and the bleeding stopped. Whatever happened to the pair of you? It’s been a full day since the others awoke”

A day? How could it have been a day. Turning in the direction of Coran’s voice, there was Lance. His blue eyes open...

“Lance... I...”

Lance silently tried to tell him something. The distance between them felt too much for him. He could have lost Lance. He’d let his hand slip from his and that could have been their last memory together. Keith finding his body awkward to move, reduced to crawling across the short distance to where his omega lay. Taking Lance’s hand in his hand, he was so fucking grateful to see those blue eyes open. His alpha so beyond relieved to see their mate was coming back to them. He’d been in a rut while he’d slept, Keith able to smell both he and Lance so thickly it was nearly suffocating. Lance now had the guilt of what had happened on top of being deathly ill. Thank god that the others had made themselves scarce

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay... we’re awake again”

Weakly Lance tried to lift his arm, Keith taking his hand and raising it to his chest so Lance couldn’t let their hold go. He was going to have to be the cool and collected one. The one Lance could depend on, instead it being the other way around

“We’re here. We made it out”

“I’m... sorry... so... sorry”

Exhausted to the point of slurring, Lance’s scent took on hues of rotting citrus, Keith’s alpha interpreting it as like the worst scent ever. Even worse than Lance’s scent in red heat

“Shhh. I’ve got you. I’ve got you... your alpha’s got you”

Nothing outside of holding Lance close mattered, or really existed. Coran forgotten in the background already

“I... hurt...”

“Shhhh... I know you do, omega. Your alpha’s here. Your alpha’s got you... shhhh...”

The thrill of calling himself Lance’s alpha was dulled by his worry. Lance had grown so sickly while they’d been trapped in the game. As much as he hated that green fucking lump of snot, Bob must have worked some kind of godly magic to keep Lance from passing away. If they ever met again, it’d be far too soon for Keith’s liking. Lance needed rest. He needed love. More than his heart was broken, what he’d been through had devastated his body and mind.

“Number two...”

Snarling at Coran caused Lance to whimper, Keith trying to shift his scent to something more calming as he hushed Lance again. Stupid Coran. No. Not stupid Coran. Coran would have worked tirelessly to keep them all alive, especially the love of his life

“I’ve got him”

“If I may...”

He didn’t want to shut Coran out, but... but there was just so much in his head that he didn’t know which string of thought to follow, not when things were so knotted up

“Coran, I can’t... my alpha... my omega... He needs all of me right now”

Lance could still take a turn for the worst if he didn’t handle this right. Shiro had said only being knotted would save Lance from a red heat. Lance now so frail that he could not only give consent, but even if he did, Keith would never lay hands on him in this state

“What do you need, Keith?”

Accepting he was out of his depth, Coran told him so by using his name

“I need to focus on him. Please can you take care of the pack a little longer?”

“Keith, you’ve barely woken”

He should have been as limp and weak as Lance. This wasn’t a TV show where sleeping for weeks had no side effects. Shifting Lance to prepare to try lifting him, his alpha reassured him that moving Lance was the right step

“Let’s just say a green wanker seems to have helped... Lance, I’m so sorry for what I said. I was dumb. I am dumb. You’re the glue that holds the pack together”

Coran sniffled, missing what it meant for him to be calling Lance his omega

“What a beautiful display friendship!”

Nope. He wasn’t going to there. Coran sounded too much like Bob, any longer and he was going to start wondering if they really had made it back to their reality

“I’m going to help Lance clean up. Tell the team I’ll talk to them once things settle”

If they settled. No. He wasn’t going there either. They all knew they’d messed up, they’d all admitted their faults. Once Lance got over his embarrassment, they’d all sit down and have a good talk... especially over how Bob had nearly stolen Lance away from them and not the game malfunctioning.

[aion-rsa]

Where in Fiction Would You Spend Christmas?

https://ift.tt/34FuLCB

It’s been a staying-in kind of year. That New Year’s Resolution you made to travel more? It’s gained 20 pounds, started cutting its own hair and is now in a jigsaw club with your neighbour Ken. The only marathon you’ve completed in 2020 is a Battlestar Galactica rewatch. The only mountain you’ve climbed is the metaphorical one it takes to shower daily. That beach trip you’d planned? It went okay actually. You made some bells by selling coconuts to Nook’s Cranny and dug up a bunch of Manila Clams with a flimsy shovel.

For obvious reasons, escape is on our minds this year more than most. So we started thinking, if you had your wishing socks on, where in the collected imaginations of everyone who’s ever dreamt up a film, TV show, game or book, would you spend the holidays? On the holodeck of the Starship Enterprise or roasting on an open fire with The Simpsons, exchanging gifts with Ewoks or witnessing Scrooge McDuck’s transformation from miser to philanthropist first hand?  

To get things started, here’s what our writers picked…

Alec Bojalad would spend Christmas … reveling with the Sterling Cooper staff on Mad Men

If I’m to indulge this hypothetical in which I’m torn away from one reality and thrust into another, one thing is very clear: I will have to be extremely intoxicated to avoid my heart exploding from the stressful terror of it all. Thankfully, I know exactly where in pop culture to go to get absolutely blitzed: Mad Men. In terms of sheer debauchery, a Sterling Cooper Christmas party probably falls somewhere between a Bacchanalian orgy and Valhalla itself. As Don, Roger, Bert, Peggy, and company gather together to celebrate another successful year schmoozing clients and sexually harassing one another, I will don my finest 1960s attire and infiltrate the festive event. 

As Don Draper wonders who this soft-bodied weirdo in an ill-fitting suit is, I’ll catch up with Harry Crane about television. Then I’ll ask to see Bert Cooper’s weird tentacle porn painting. Sometime around my 9th J&B Whisky on the rocks I’ll visit the secretarial pool and beg them to demand better treatment because “you’ree ssssooo strong and eleganttt. Don’t listen to thessseee men. They’re Mad Men.” Hopefully I’ll be taken away to an old-timey hospital at that point, given electroshock treatment, and return back to my own continuity.  

Ryan Britt would spend Christmas… at Deanna and Will’s cabin from Star Trek: Picard

When Jean-Luc Picard uses the spatial projector to zap himself and Soji across the galaxy to the planet Nepethene, the result is a cozy pizza dinner with Will Riker, Deanna Troi and their daughter Kestra. For those who had been pining for more ‘90s nostalgia in this Trek series, the episode ‘Nepthene’ delivered, but with a strong shot of realism. Although Picard was written and created before the Covid-19 pandemic, the idea that Riker and Troi would leave the busy and crowded life of Starfleet, and retire in a remote cabin to protect their family is a choice many have actually faced in 2020. As people around the world have fled pandemic epicenters and tried to put shields around their own families, the peaceful and remote home of the Riker-Trois represents the optimistic ideal of Star Trek with a quiet, and very close-to-home twist. 

Spending time with the Riker-Troi family would mean great conversation, great music (oh the jazz!) and, above all, great food. I would happily put my own family in their ‘pod’ if only so Kestra could teach my three-year-old daughter the best way to construct a bow and arrow, and of course, how to learn that secret language of butterflies. 

Then, after the kids were in bed, having a glass of wine or some Romulan whiskey with Will out on the porch sounds pretty damn perfect. 2020 has been tough. A bear hug from Riker seems like the perfect Christmas gift of all. 

Caroline Preece would spend Christmas… at The Muppet Christmas Carol’s Penguin Skating Party

Ever since young-me set eyes on the ultra-festive world of The Muppet Christmas Carol I’ve wanted to visit. I can’t imagine a better way to spend Christmas Eve than in the cuddly version of Dickens’ cautionary tale, helping Kermit and his co-workers tidy up Scrooge’s office for the holidays, dancing down the snowy London streets and attending the Penguins’ annual Christmas skating party as the ultimate topper to a perfect evening. 

As well as being super-merry and joyous (‘tis the season), judging by Kermit’s performance on the ice, they let anyone take part.

It could just be the general lack of socialising and festive frivolity in 2020, but Bob Cratchit’s hopeful walk home from the office (remember the office?!?) on the night before Christmas has always epitomised the idea that the anticipation of Christmas Day is the best part. Add to that a trip to the market to pick up some singing vegetables, or the cosy Cratchit dinner with Miss Piggy and their gaggle of pig and frog offspring, and it’s a version of old-timey festive cheer that will always hold a place in my heart.

Louisa Mellor would spend Christmas… with the strippers in Hustlers

This choice won’t reflect well on me. It’s neither edifying nor improving and has a core of savage capitalist consumerism, which is probably what makes it so Christmassy. Midway through Lorraine Scafaria’s Hustlers – a film about a group of strippers who right the wrongs of the 2008 financial crisis by drugging Wall Street guys to run up their company credit cards – there’s a scene that’d make anyone’s heart grow three sizes. 

A dozen lap dancers gather for Christmas in a high-end apartment, their daughters and a grandmother in tow. Dressed in luxe loungewear and chunky gold, their skin glowing like a sucked butterscotch, they swap gifts, smile and sing and dance and thank the lord for their sisters. Expensive elegance is everywhere. Someone gets a fur coat, somebody else a pair of animal-print Louboutins. The woman who dips the dancers’ tits in bowls of ice before they go on stage is given an iPhone 4. Mostly though, they give each other affirmation. Without a natural hair colour, nude fingernail or a man in sight, it’s a dream family Christmas. Picture a Norman Rockwell painting with Jennifer Lopez in gold lamé, a cashmere Santa hat and a balcony bra. Feel-good festive perfection. 

Michael Ahr would spend Christmas… secluded in Hogwarts

Some may have found Harry Potter’s winter holidays without his friends rather lonely, but I can think of nothing more magical than having the vast empty halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry all to myself. Why let the staff have the warm, dry, magical snow that fell annually in the Great Hall all to themselves? Not being of school age myself anymore, I might choose to share a butterbeer (or perhaps a hot buttered rum) with Dumbledore and Hagrid by a roaring fire.

I might even be tempted to make the trip to Hogsmeade to see all the shops decked out with lights and blanketed in snow. I’d still be able to enjoy the comparative solitude without all the kids running around, but I’m almost certain there would be a group of carolers wandering about the square, never mind the singing enchanted suits of armor back at the school. And of course, if I could pick a particular present, I’d choose to receive the same amazing gift Harry received that first Christmas from Dumbledore: his father’s Invisibility Cloak. I’d likewise pass it along as a family heirloom to my own children on some Christmas morning to come.

Jamie Andrew would spend Christmas… in a Deep Space Nine Holosuite

At first, I entertained the idea of spending Christmas in Baltimore with the denizens of The Wire, mainly because I liked the idea of children running up and down the streets hollering, ‘Omar’s coming!’ moments before the shotgun-wielding Robin Hood of the Hood came swaggering down the street wearing a big red coat and a white beard, tossing out bank notes and whistling ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’. Then I realised that the chances of me ending up a corpse inside a boarded-up derelict building before the turkey was even cooked were surprisingly high, so I thought I’d try Christmas with Frasier Crane and family instead. Unfortunately, my foreknowledge of Martin’s and Eddie’s deaths would cloud the occasion, and I’d probably spend all night slumped crying in Martin’s recliner, unable to tell anyone why I was so upset without violating the temporal time directive. 

Best, then, to spend Yule time on Deep Space Nine. Christianity and its associated festive traditions don’t appear to exist in the 24th Century, so after saying hello to Sisko and co., and maybe playing a bit of Dabo at Quark’s, I’d probably spend the rest of my time in a faithful Holosuite reproduction of a 1990s Irish bar on New Year’s Eve getting absolutely wasted with fellow Celt Chief O’Brien. Now THAT’S what I call Christmas. 

Juliette Harrisson would spend Christmas… in Narnia

Not, of course, the White Witch’s eternal winter, when it’s always winter but never Christmas, but a regular Christmas in Narnia. It would, of course, be a white Christmas because otherwise, how would Father Christmas come and deliver presents to everyone? So I could spend the season in a snowy woodland surrounded by magical creatures, and be in with a chance of a really good present. Or possibly a sewing machine.

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On the first moonlit night when there’s snow on the ground, Narnian fauns, dryads, and dwarfs perform the Great Snow Dance, with the fauns and dryads dancing around while the dwarfs throw snowballs that don’t hit them (an often forgotten detail from the book version of The Silver Chair!). I would join in, although possibly not throw any snowballs as my aim isn’t that good. Then I’d go back to Mr Tumnus’s for sardines and cake on Christmas Eve and talk to him about his somewhat dubious taste in books (just what is Nymphs And Their Ways about, eh Tumnus?). I’d spend Christmas Day up at the castle of Cair Paravel, eating and drinking like a Queen, and then I’d go visit Mr and Mrs Beaver on Boxing Day for a feast of leftovers and maybe a little light ice fishing.

John Saavedra would spend Christmas…celebrating Life Day with Star Wars’ Poe Dameron 

No one has ever cared so much about Life Day, the Star Wars galaxy’s own version of Christmas, as much as ace pilot Poe Dameron does in the Lego Star Wars Holiday Special. From decorating the Millennium Falcon and choosing the right Life Day sweater to roasting the traditional tip-yip (also known as Endorian chicken), Poe shows there’s something much stronger than the Force in the Star Wars universe: holiday spirit. Who knew the Resistance hero best known for his knack at blowing stuff up had such a soft spot? 

Hanging with Poe on Life Day would mean chestnuts roasting on an open exhaust engine, drinking whatever passes for cocoa in the Star Wars galaxy, hanging out with Wookiees on their homeworld of Kashyyyk, singing festive carols in Huttese, and finding just the right Life Day tree for the Falcon. It’d also mean dancing to the hip tunes of Max Rebo’s drum (the rest of his band is unfortunately no longer with us) and partying with Lando Calrissian, Finn, Rose, Rey, Jannah, Mon Calamari, Jawas, Rodians, Ewoks, and maybe even Chewie’s son Lumpy. If you’re not sold by now, your taste in holiday parties might be bantha poodoo. 

Elizabeth Donoghue would spend Christmas…. at The Office’s Classy Christmas

Dunder Mifflin has many memorable Christmas parties, but Steve Carell’s final festive special includes some of my favourite things about The Office; weird Gabe, Michael’s enduring hatred of Toby, and Michael and Holly’s adorable relationship.

After Toby announces he is taking a leave of absence for jury duty (‘Thank you, Scranton Strangler. I love you. You just took one more person’s breath away’) Michael learns that Holly will be returning to Scranton and demands that Pam’s regular Christmas party must get classy. What makes a Christmas classy? A backwards Kangol-esque Santa hat, a red velvet smoking jacket and a quarter of a jazz quartet of course.

I would actively enjoy watching Dwight take down Jim in their snowball fight (total bully, needs to be taken down a peg or two), get drunk with Kelly and Meredith, dance with Phyllis and Erin and learn more about the enigma that is Creed. And although it is slightly more subdued than their Benihana and Moroccan Christmas parties, I’m sure we could keep the party going at a Poor Richard’s after-party.

Kayti Burt would spend Christmas … on Themyscira

The Amazons’ decision to opt out of the “Patriarch’s World” has always been a relatable one, but never so much as in The Year 2020. Historically, I’m not really a beach person, but Themyscira, aka Paradise Island, has a lot going for it: warm weather, a supportive community, and live sporting events where you don’t have to worry about some drunken dudebro spilling cheap beer on your toga. 

As far as I can tell from the Wonder Woman movies, no one (besides Young Diana, who’s usually working through some stuff) ever seems to be having a bad time on Themyscira. And why would you? The pre-Crisis comics incarnation of the island (which I am going to choose to accept as my holiday canon) includes indigeneous kangaroo-like creatures called Kangas that the Amazons ride like horses. Diana’s is called Jumpa; mine will be called Jimmy Hoppa, and we will explore the island’s cascading waterfalls and cliffside terraces together. In the evenings, I will attend performances at the Themysciran amphitheater with my new Amazonian friends or, if I’m feeling introverted, catch up on my book reading and crossword puzzles.

Listen, I wouldn’t want to spend forever on Themyscira—I’d miss my friends, family, and TV shows (Themyscira doesn’t seem to get a good wireless signal)—but a few weeks (or months, especially as I will be quarantining for my first two weeks) for Christmas 2020? Bring me to the enchanted feminist utopia.

Alana Joli Abbott would spend Yule… at the coven house from the Nightcraft Quartet

Witchkind, as presented in Shannon Page’s Nightcraft Quartet, don’t celebrate Christmas, but they do love a good Yuletide celebration. Page’s witches and warlocks are separate from humans, long lived, and magical. Young witches train in the magical arts at a coven house, living there like a dorm; the adult women of the coven (always numbering thirteen) may be involved in scientific research (like protagonist Callie), medicine and healing, or reading Tarot, and they teach their specialties to the young witches. The coven house is a central place where women gather to live, to practice magic together, to celebrate, and to honor traditional rituals. While Callie’s coven in San Francisco has their problems, the community there is caring and genuine, full of both youthful energy and centuries of experienced witchery. 

One of the perks of editing this series is that I get sneak peeks into parts of the story readers haven’t seen yet—including Yule decorations. Rather than cutting down dead trees, witches coax living fir boughs to weave along the walls and mantles, accented with red ribbon and gold—coins, beads, chains. I can imagine the cozy San Francisco coven house filled with witches all rushing to perform their tasks to make the perfect celebration, some of them convincing the fir boughs to expand in just the right ways while others brew hot chocolate or prepare the feast. I picture them eating in the large hall, voices lifted in joyful chatter, and then making their way out to the grounds beyond the house to celebrate beneath the stars, singing midwinter songs and looking forward to the next year. After months of 2020 with smaller communities and less human contact, being surrounded by such a vibrant, magical group of women sounds like just the right way to end my year.

Rosie Fletcher would spend Christmas… with the Roy family from Succession

Go hard or go home, they say, so since I can’t go home this year, I’m going round the Roys. That is, of course, the family at the centre of Succession, a show peopled by the very wealthiest and utterly worst. Festivities would be held at the home of patriarch Logan Roy. His children and their partners would be obliged to attend. Logan would hire a chef to cook, waiting staff to serve, some of whom he would abuse. I would give them sympathetic “I’m sorry” looks but do nothing, secretly thankful Logan’s ire wasn’t focused on me. 

In all likelihood I would be a figure like Greg (the egg), or Tom Wambsgans – mostly tolerated, vaguely despised and very much the second class citizens of the Roy clan, skulking on the periphery as Kendall, Roman and Shiv compete for Logan’s love and oldest son Connor comes up will another entirely ridiculous life plan – I dunno, maybe this year he’s decided that his next career move is to become Santa Claus. 

The food would be extraordinary. The booze the very finest – how long before, like Greg, I would be claiming the bottle of vintage rose champagne I had just motored through was ‘not my favourite’? And the dinner table conversation would be electric. Electric like an electric shock – sharp, painful, disorientating, unexpected. 

So Christmas has become too commercialised? Fine, fuck it. I’ll take the eye-wateringly expensive gift that’s grudgingly bestowed on me, I will gorge on the finest cheeses known to man and coat my tongue with port made from molten rubies, knowing I am on my way to moral bankruptcy and doing it anyway. Go hard or go home…

Kirsten Howard would spend Christmas… singing along in the closing moments of Scrooged 

You’d be hard-pressed to find a Christmas movie that feels as genuinely uplifting during its climax as 1988’s Scrooged. Bill Murray’s arrogant TV boss Frank Cross, having been visited by the Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present and Future, disrupts a live broadcast of A Christmas Carol to rant openly and honestly at the cast and crew (and eventually you) as he makes a passionate case for a life less invested in exploitation and capitalism, and eventually kicks off a collective singalong of Annie Lennox and Al Green’s version of ‘Put a Little Love in Your Heart’.

That’s where I’d like to be this Christmas. Not just to sing along with Bill, but to be around people immediately swept along by the much-less-explored altruistic route of ‘no fucks given’. 

Also hanging out with Bill Murray, though, of course.

So much of the last few years has been a public race to the bottom of Nothing Matters Mountain, but even if it hadn’t all been so demoralising and forced so many of us to reevaluate our priorities, Frank’s message of redemption in love and living as well as we can, while shrugging off our own heavy expectations of success, still feels really special. 

This Christmas, there is light at the end of the tunnel. We may not be able to grab the nearest stranger and sing “put a little love in your heart!” at them right now, but we CAN carry that feeling with us into 2021. As Frank says: “There are people who are having trouble making their miracle happen”. We can always try and find time to stop focusing on our own for a while and to help them.

David Crow would spend Christmas… chilling with Harold and Kumar

Not many people are aware of this, but A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas is the best Harold and Kumar. It may not have the pop culture cache of their medicinal-fueled quest for mini-cheeseburgers, but it does have something very special, indeed: Wafflebot. If you’ve had the misfortune of living your life oblivious to Wafflebot’s existence, allow me to introduce you to a greater world of wonder and magic.

Wafflebot is the best Christmas present to ever come out of Santa’s Workshop. Displaying an eerily sophisticated artificial intelligence for a toy meant only to cook delicious breakfasts, Wafflebot can make you waffles any time by just popping the top and letting that batter drop. But he can also do so much more! Vaguely aware of the concept of friendship, this brunching Frankenstein can learn how to love and appreciate his owners… and defend them from any threat with scalding hot projectile syrup!

With the ability to serve breakfast, save your life, be manipulated into dangerous attack mode, and learn how to see the real you, all while playing a mean drum solo, Wafflebot would make any Christmas a sweetly warm experience. And then Harold and Kumar, and I could also steal a Christmas tree from NPH or something.

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VLD6x05 – “The Black Paladins”

6x05 – “The Black Paladins”

I guess we’re supposed to assume that Joaquim Dos Santos considered this a really important episode since he has the writing credit for it. This is it, the big reveal of the clone. This episode leaves me annoyed at Honerva, angry at Pidge, and hurt by knowing the full scope of the clone story and how it ends up being just a gimmick posing as poignancy.

Starting where last episode ended, Voltron is fighting Lotor’s ships. Allura must have really slammed Lotor hard when she threw him last episode because he’s still unconscious. I guess since this show was released whole-season on Netflix, most viewers go immediately from finishing the last episode and start watching this one, so they’re carrying over any energy from the previous ending. Since I have a day in between with this viewing, I’m not feeling much weight from this fight right up front. There is nothing in the narrative to reignite the tension. It’s just a space fight.

Coran communicates that he’s bringing the Castle Ship to the fight, but Keith tells him no, saying the Castle wouldn’t fare well against these ships. Voltron’s pinned against an asteroid by Lotor’s ships hitting it with a sustained blaster beam. Immediately negating telling Coran to keep the Castle Ship out of the fight, Keith then asks Coran to destroy the asteroid. I’m not sure I’ve seen the show’s writing demonstrate inconsistency that quickly before.

Lotor’s ships give Voltron enough space and time for Voltron to fly through the rocky debris from Daibazaal, where Keith orders Lance and Pidge to “get us some cover,” so they blast the asteroids. Somehow, the asteroids weren’t cover, but now blown-up asteroids are? They’re just randomly shooting rocks, so it’s not like the weapons fire itself is functioning as cover fire.

A purple, and thus evil because evil is color-coded in this show, wormhole appears. Allura says, “It has to be Haggar. She must have gained the ability, but how?” It actually doesn’t, for once, feel like a jump to a conclusion that Allura would think it’s Haggar. The delivery of this line sounds unintentionally funny though.

“But Shiro’s not Shiro anymore,” Hunk says. That’s really quick of Hunk to so fully dismiss a friend as gone. Keith counters that “something is wrong with him. The Galra or Lotor have to be behind it.”

Voltron, or at least the Black Lion’s wings, start sparking electricity. Keith says his thrusters aren’t working. Pidge replies, “Those beams torched our power core.” All this kind of feels spastic to me. The Lions/Voltron has/have been beaten so much and never really shown to be damageable. Repairs are never shown being made to the Lions. The near invulnerability the show’s given Voltron for so many seasons makes me have trouble with the idea that now they can take physical damage.

Lotor’s ships get through the wormhole, but Voltron isn’t going to make it. Keith orders Voltron to break up so that the process will propel him through the wormhole. It doesn’t logistically feel realistic, but there is an emotional reason for the narrative to have it happen. I don’t like that it makes it such that only Keith is pursuing Shiro now because it has this, maybe unintentional, way of making it feel like the other Paladins don’t care enough about Shiro to fight for him. I say maybe unintentional because I really do want to give the benefit of the doubt, but honestly, I don’t think they wrote the characters in this show to behave like they care about each other most of the time.

Keith pops out the other side of the wormhole to be faced with a bunch of Galra cruisers, which fire on him. Axca moves to attack Keith while Ezor and Zethrid help get Lotor and Shiro to Honerva. She specifically calls Haggar by the name Honerva. That’s a huge thing. For Haggar to now present herself as Honerva to Axca, Ezor, and Zethrid, but to not show how any of the three of them handle being told feels like something’s been left out. Being Honerva was a huge thing Haggar kept hidden for a long while, so why is she now open about it? I know she went to Oriande and came out of the pyramid and resumed her Honerva appearance there, but why are the Galra now okay with following her with her having revealed she’s full Altean? Don’t Axca, Ezor, and Zethrid think Honerva’s a huge hypocrite for not being even part Galra while having condemned Lotor, saying he wasn’t fit to rule the Empire because he was only half-Galra back in 5x04 “Kral Zera?” For that matter, since Axca, Ezor, and Zethrid themselves are only part-Galra, how were they not offended in that moment when Haggar said that to Lotor in that episode?

Keith and Axca fighting one-on-one here adds to the previous moments the show has hinted at something connecting these two characters together. The show eventually abandons further developing this plot, never producing any narrative resolution for the set-up. Since Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery said in that interview that they thought about killing Hunk and replacing him with Axca, I guess their deciding to not do that made them just give up on whatever these Keith-Axca moments were supposed to be setting up.

Lotor’s finally conscious. Shiro has him in handcuffs, which feels strange for him to be treated like a prisoner since this whole story from the end of the last episode until this scene has had a tonal quality of a rescue mission. Zethrid takes Lotor and tells Shiro, “We’ll take it from here.” Shiro just stands there, staring into the distance. Ezor follows after Zethrid, and we see Honerva looking through Shiro’s eyes.

She tells him, “You are to lead the Black Lion away from the fleet.” In a very flat voice, Shiro asks how, and Honerva says, “The Red Paladin’s connection to you runs deep, deeper than the others. He still believes there is good left inside you, which leaves him vulnerable to persuasion. You will exploit this weakness.” Okay, this episode was written by Joaquim Dos Santos, so one of the people who should most understand the story being told. Why then did he write Honerva to call Keith the “Red Paladin?” Keith hasn’t been the Red Paladin for a long time. He hasn’t flown any Lion since 4x01 “Code of Honor,” and he hasn’t flown the Red Lion since 3x02 “Red Paladin.” Of course, I think Keith should be and should always have been the Red Paladin, but the show hasn’t had him be that for a long time. So why was Honerva written to refer to him by that title? Is this a slip up showing that even Joaquim Dos Santos knows deep down that changing the Paladins around was totally forced?

Honerva does confirm for us that Keith does care more about Shiro than the other Paladins do. On one hand, it’s not expected since the two of them have a much longer and personal history than Shiro has with the others. But on the other hand, it does kind of feel like the show confirming how this clone plot makes it feel like the other Paladins just don’t care because the show didn’t bother to make them care.

“He still believes there is good left inside you.” This line infuriates me because it’s a manifestation of what the EPs, and the writers thought of the clone. One, for first time viewers who don’t yet know this is a clone, it’s really hurtful for this line to suggest that Shiro’s evil. Implicit in Honerva’s statement is that there is no good left inside him. But even knowing that this is a clone, it’s still hurtful. The idea that Honerva flipped a switch and all of the good was obliterated from within the clone is an insult to everyone who grew to love this character over the past several seasons. But this is the show justifying its desire to discard the clone as an “evil thing” without having to have any characters feel bad about dehumanizing him and treating him like trash. That the show has the characters so quickly willing to discard the clone is a manifestation of how the EPs and the writers only ever saw him as a “thing” themselves, never as a character. Despite that perspective from them though, they still inadvertently wrote him as a character because they were trying to build up this surprise twist. What was supposed to just be a cover to set up for the reveal ended up being mostly really good characterization. Despite their planned end goal for the clone, they never realized that viewers would get attached to him. Their shortsightedness is one of the aspects of this story that really bothers me.

Honerva is now back to using her monotone Honerva voice instead of the far easier to listen to Haggar voice. I clearly don’t like Haggar/Honerva much at all in this show. She was okay in seasons one and two, but not for the rest of the series. I would much rather have Haggar’s voice than Honerva’s. For the most part, the voice acting on this show is one of the good things about the show, even if the story was terrible and the dialog was bad or off, the actual sound of the voices were good. Who thought this monotone Honerva voice was a good choice?

Keith sees the Altean pod flying away from everything, and Keith assumes that it’s Shiro. It is, but there’s no reason for Keith to assume that instead of just some miscellaneous Galra sentry piloting it. The Galra all jump away while Keith follows after Shiro.

The other Paladins have gotten their Lions back into the Castle Ship. Hunk says the Lions are, “structurally speaking, at about 60%.” That should mean 40% of them were bashed up so much that they would look very visibly destroyed, but this statement ultimately means nothing since the Lions are never shown with any physical damage.

The Castle Ship’s systems shut down. Coran announces a risk that has never come up before, including when the Castle has had all its systems shut down before, that if the “teludav regulator” shuts down, the Castle and everything in the “neighboring system” will be destroyed. Since there are other instances where this would have come into play earlier in the series and it never did, that makes this totally contrived. I honestly don’t care about what’s going on with the rest of the Paladins and the Castle Ship right now.

Lotor, still handcuffed, is brought to Honerva. She takes her hood off, turns to him, and says, “Prince Lotor, my son.” The camera quickly pans to Axca, Ezor, and Zethrid, who all have shocked expressions. Why are any of them surprised? Axca earlier used Honerva’s name when telling Ezor and Zethrid to get Lotor to Honerva. It can’t be that they’re reacting to her calling Lotor her son because everyone in the Empire knows that Honerva was Lotor’s mother. This is just another inconsistency in the writing.

“Understand that the events that transformed me into the witch Haggar also shrouded any glimmer of maternal instinct I may have had for my one and only child,” Honerva says. If you’ve read my commentary for 3x07 “The Legend Begins,” then you can probably guess what I’m going to say here. Honerva had no motherly qualities pre-quintessence poisoning whatsoever. The show making this statement now is an absolute retcon of her character. Also, the whole use of the dual identity – Honerva versus Haggar – is an attempt by the show, the EPs, and the writers to avoid responsibility for having written Haggar as a brutal, dictatorial character now that they think they’re adding depth to her character. They weren’t willing to embrace this character as a single character and one who’s a villain, and the dual identity is how they’re trying to buy space for wanting to write the character differently than what they set the character up as in the first two seasons.

Lotor says, “Enough! My mother ceased to exist when Honerva drew her last breath. Do not believe for a moment that I would ever accept you as kin. You are an abomination. A twisted perversion of what was once so pure and beautiful.” I do not blame Lotor for rejecting her. Despite what some people say, someone who’s been abused does not have to accept and forgive their abuser. It is a bit bothersome that Lotor thinks Honerva was “pure and beautiful” since he never knew Honerva since she adopted the Haggar persona before she gave birth. We can assume that this is similar to his sharp reaction to Allura in 5x05 “Bloodlines” when Allura supposed that Haggar and Honerva were the same person. Lotor seemed to have constructed a fantasy about what his mother was like, and that might be how we should read this line here too.

Honerva glares at Lotor and orders, “Take him away.” The fact that she had him brought to her in handcuffs demonstrates that for all her posturing suggesting she wants to ask him to accept her, she still is treating him like a prisoner. She might want to pretend she’s trying to find some motherly capacity, but the circumstances of her having him brought to her prove that to be a lie.

Axca tries to shoot Honerva, but Honerva teleports away. Zethrid asks Axca, “Are you working with Lotor?” And Lotor replies, “I can explain everything.” Are they really trying to pretend that Axca has been a mole for Lotor the entire time? Ugh.

Lotor wants to grab his ships and “head to the Castle of Lions’ last known location.” Why it’s phrased that way, I don’t know, since that location was Daibazaal.

With the Black Lion’s wing still sparking, Keith has followed Shiro to an asteroid or moon near a planet. He follows Shiro’s footprints into a cave, eventually finding a Galra facility. Inside, Keith sees many stasis pods. He approaches one, touches it, light comes on inside, and it reveals a Shiro clone. Dozens and dozens of other pods light up, revealing more clones.

Here’s a huge problem I have with the clone plotline: What is the point of the clones? This facility, the personnel, time, and resources that went into running it and conducing the cloning program, those are all a significant investment. Why? If it had been just one clone made, it could be argued that Haggar’s plan was to use the clone to spy on the other Paladins. But she had a lot of clones made, so what was the point? What was her goal? Why did she do this? The show never answers this.

I think the reason the show never answers it is because they EPs and writers never thought to answer it. They were never writing the clone story to actually be an actual part of the show. It’s inclusion in the show is not intentional. They used the clone story to bring Shiro back into the show because they were told they couldn’t kill him off like they wanted to. As such, the clone story is nothing but a gimmick. They never thought to think through the implications.

This also makes me think of how in 1x13 “The Black Paladin,” Haggar tells Shiro, “You could have been our greatest weapon.” That line is never explained and resolved. So too is the clone program never explained, and its resolution is just to provide Shiro’s soul with a body.

Back on the Castle Ship, Pidge informs the others that she recognizes the computer code that has shut down the Castle. It’s the same as is in Shiro’s Galra arm prosthetic. I’ll say more about this in a bit, but it infuriates me.

“Wait, are you saying Shiro is responsible for this?” Allura asks, and Pidge says, “Yes.” This scene is written to elicit a shocked response, but because we’ve already had the revelation of the clones in this episode, it doesn’t shock us. The episode has already created a narrative distance between any sabotage the clone did prior to leaving with Lotor. Even if the other Paladins don’t yet know about the clones and thus think it was Shiro who sabotaged the Castle, we viewers don’t. That makes their being shocked have no real weight. Maybe it’s an issue of bad editing decisions, though I would think something like where different parts of scenes are situated should have long been decided during the storyboarding stage much earlier in the process of creating an episode.

Shiro attacks Keith. In the process, the show reveals Shiro’s arm to be able to generate an energy sword, which, unless I’m mistaken, has never happened before.

The teludav continues to be a problem. Pidge does something and everything’s fine.

She says she had copied the code from Shiro’s arm and used it to create a virus that “could terminate all its command prompts in case something like this ever happened.” This makes me severely dislike Pidge. She knew this malicious code existed in Shiro’s arm. She’s known it for some time. She recognized it for being malicious code enough that she used that code to create a virus to use as a countermeasure “in case something like this ever happened.” She knew all along that there was a potential security issue, and she never told anyone? She didn’t think everyone else should know this? She didn’t respect Shiro enough to let him know the danger he carried in his arm? This is not how friends behave. This is not how teammates behave.

I already have a lot of reasons to dislike Pidge. She’s shortsighted, prone to irrational thought in dire moments. She’s selfish. And now, she’s incompetent. She does not care about any of these people, least of all Shiro. And she never faces any consequences of her behavior. None of them should trust her after this. She should have to go through a huge story arc to regain their trust, to earn forgiveness. But she never does. If she had told them what she found, they could have worked to make sure this would never happen. Rather than construct a virus to serve as a countermeasure, they could have worked to keep this from ever happening.

But part of this is the fault of the show’s writing. The easiest thing would have been to just not have any of this part that takes place here on the Castle Ship in the show. But if this idea that Shiro’s arm contained malicious code, and Pidge knew about it and said nothing, then her saying nothing is contrived so that the show can preserve its desired plot twist. With Pidge having discovered the code, it was incumbent upon her to tell everyone, and that would mean that they would have found a way to keep it from happening, which could reasonably have led to them learning about Shiro being a clone who was capable of being controlled by Haggar.

And it’s not like these characters didn’t have multiple opportunities to further investigate what has been going on with Shiro. Pidge, for example, saw Shiro grab his head and cry out in pain in 6x01 “Omega Shield.” She never followed up on that. It’s not normal for someone to react in pain like Shiro did in that episode, but no one cared about him enough to try to figure out what was wrong. Lance knew something weird happened with Shiro in 5x03 “Postmortem,” and he only halfway followed up on that. Shiro then confided in Lance that he didn’t “feel like himself.” Lance never followed up on that. Friends don’t react like this, so I have to conclude that Keith is the only one to ever consider Shiro a friend.

Keith and Shiro continue to fight. The music is really good.

“That’s the Keith I remember,” the clone taunts Keith. Aside from being just generic villainous taunting, I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. I can’t tell if Keith’s eyes turn a little cat-like for a moment, or if the animation is just odd. They’re fighting on a different level of the facility where there are more stasis pods. There must be hundreds of clones here.

I also wonder how much thought went into the visual design of this location. The facility looks totally open to space, and yet they are breathing air. That would require the facility to be surrounded by an invisible forcefield to hold the air in. Probably in the same way the show’s visual design gives us so many impossible planet shapes without any thought to what they’re designing, so too, this facility was designed for a visual effect without any thought about how this facility would actually function.

Keith says, “Shiro, I know you’re in there. You made a promise once. You told me you’d never give up on me.” This is some good voice acting for Keith.

Shiro responds, “And I should have abandoned you, just like your parents did. They saw that you were broken, worthless. I should have seen it too.” I guess this is supposed to come from the clone’s psychic programming warping whatever memories it has from Shiro of Keith confiding in him about feeling abandoned by his parents? I mean, I’m trying to apply logistics and realism to this dialog when I imagine that JDS only wrote it because he wanted the clone to say something hurtful to Keith, and since this is what Keith has wrestled with, that’s what he used.

“Neither of us are leaving,” Shiro says, and the facility starts to light up all over the place. Either Shiro’s arm has some wireless communication system built into it and he just triggered the facility, or that’s contrived timing. But what this glowing is supposed to mean, I don’t know, because the facility isn’t destroyed by some self-destruct, it’s destroyed by Shiro.

The prostetic starts glowing. Shiro starts screaming in pain and falls to his knees. The prosthetic starts blasting a beam of energy that slices into the facility. (Did Pidge miss, ignore, or keep to herself the ability for the arm to do this too?)

The music is really awesome again.

Keith maneuvers to avoid Shiro’s energy blasts and to make it to a stable part of the facility, ending up exhausted and on his back. Shiro eventually comes to stand over Keith. He swings his energy sword at Keith, who blocks it with his blade.

More good voice acting for Keith: “Shiro, please. You’re my brother. I love you.” It gets through, past the programming controlling the clone, just for a bit.

“Just let go, Keith. You don’t have to fight anymore.” I’m not sure what I make of this line. “By now, the team’s already gone. I saw to it myself.” This line sounds like cliché villain dialog.

Keith’s eyes turn yellow for a moment. I know Keith is half-Galra, but since when is he a shapeshifter?

Keith’s blade grows, and he chops off Shiro’s prosthetic. There’s something revealed here that I’m going to eventually write a separate post about during my commentaries next season.

Shiro falls to his knees. the facility starts to explode and break apart. The music is again amazing.

Shiro is unconscious, Keith barely holding onto him and barely holding onto his blade, which is wedged into the facility. Keith experiences some flashbacks, just silent shots that we’ll see more from in 7x01 “A Little Adventure.”

The structure of the facility breaks loose, and they plummet down toward the planet. Keith closes his eyes, seemingly resigned to dying.

There’s a flashback scene. We see Keith younger at the Galaxy Garrison, beat up. Keith thinks he should just be sent back to the orphanage he lived at prior to joining the Garrison. Shiro tells him, “Keith, you can do this. I will never give up on you. More importantly, you can’t give up on yourself.” Keith, falling down to the planet, opens his eyes, and the episode ends.

I’m not adverse to the premise of the clone plotline. As much as it angers me that Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery wanted to kill Shiro, and as much as they didn’t want to bring him back, I’m not bothered by the idea of doing so through a clone story. The problem is that the story is not told well. There is never an explanation for why so many clones were created. There is never any fallout for this plot. No one grieves for the clone, no one even recognizes the clone as being a person. They instantly mentally discard him, and that’s a direct manifestation of how the EPs and writers only ever see the clone as a gimmick, not as a character. Once Shiro’s soul is put in the clone’s body, without any of the characters wrestling with the idea of taking the body away from the soul of the clone (more manifestation of the plot resolving because the EPs and writers only saw the clone as a gimmick), Shiro himself never wrestles with the reality that he’s in another person’s body.

I love the music of this episode. The episode clearly wants to be viewed as deeply emotional, but I watch it now and feel like I’m having to add to the episode to produce my emotional reaction, not that the episode is fully drawing that reaction out of me.

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: Discovery - ‘Brother’ Review

"Space: The Final Frontier. Above us, around us, within us. We have always looked to the stars to discover who we are."

By nature I love brevity: Star Trek: Discovery takes a long, clean breath of fresh air in this big, bold premiere that sheds the burdens of Season One and lets them roll down the hill behind.

Star Trek: Enterprise was canceled in 2005. And in the Fall of that year, as shows premiered, fans were faced with a sad reality: for the first time in 28 years, a new season of Star Trek was not among them. And for 12 years, this continued. And then we Discovered a new frontier. Breaking the silence of more than a decade, Star Trek: Discovery was a sign that Trek was not dead.

But of course, it was not without its flaws. Discovery Season One had issues with its tone and its dialogue. The crew, above and beyond their stilted, grandiose speech, rarely seemed like a family, or even a group of people who like each other. And the levels of anxiety and brooding were at dangerously high levels. We're talking Superman from Batman v. Superman levels of anxiety and brooding.

The fans pointed out these issues, though the good parts still remained (excepting the 'fans' who actively went out of their way to be openly hostile towards the series, its creators, and its viewers). And the team behind Discovery listened. 'Brother' benefits from a light and relaxed tone that feels like the lifting of a heavy curtain. The crew speaks in a generally human and natural manner, and they work together like a tight family. Brooding is nowhere to be seen, and the anxiety present is of a different sort than the cloud of deep worry that permeated Season One. Instead the viewer felt more of an empathetic concern about the characters and their lives.

The first and most immediate effect of 'Brother' is, in fact, to distance the show from its past mistakes. Associating these issues with the influence of Captain Lorca makes a lot of sense from a story perspective, even if the creators' insistence that all the darker elements were only a result of him doesn't quite sit right. From the outset, Captain Pike makes it clear that he is very different from Lorca. Everything about his manner and bearing suggests a completely different man from Jason Isaacs' power-hungry warmonger. But Pike is no Kirk, either, as one might anticipate. Anson Mount gives his Pike a humility and a grounded feel that Kirk never quite developed.

The other proverbial elephant on the starship is the presence of Spock. Though the adult version of our beloved half-Vulcan does not appear, his importance in the events of 'Brother' and the impact the mere allusion to the character has on the series is clear. We learn that he and Burnham's strained relationship is the result of her decisions, not his. It's clear she views him and his legacy as an oppressive force in her life, perhaps as a standard she could never live up to? There's a great shot that really sums this up, when young Spock makes his holo-dragon. The dragon moves toward Burnham, and roars at her, and Spock walks in through its mouth. I think that's how she sees Spock.

Sarek and Burnham's conversation about reverence also factors in. This show has decided to include a character that most fans undoubtedly have a lot of reverence for. But to make him a useful character, with an arc and a purpose, reverence is not enough. The massive weight of Spock's impact on Star Trek and the fans' adoration of him will be a problem that Discovery will have to deal with.

Moving to our regular cast, I loved how they were dealt with here. The other side of Lorca's effect on the Disco crew is that such a major and personal adversary has brought them together and made them rely on each other. All of the returning cast felt like a family around each other, and their interactions made the ship feel like a real workplace run by a real team. This is a major improvement from last season.

It looks like Burnham's journey this season will be thoroughly intertwined with Spock's. I look forward to seeing her relationship with him and how it develops, but I do hope they give her a role to play apart from and outside of the shadow of her foster brother. Likewise, Stamets seems overshadowed by the impact of someone else. Everything around him reminds him of his lost love Dr. Culber, and he's having a very hard time dealing with it. It seems like the end of this episode was enough to get him at least a little bit excited about science again, though it's unlikely that this is the end of his plotline about leaving the ship. With Wilson Cruz brought on as a full cast member for this season, it'll be interesting to see where this goes.

Tilly and Saru don't seem to have much in the way of an arc yet, but I'm sure this will change. I expect most of Tilly's story this season will have something to do with her enrollment in the Command Training Program. Saru mentioned his sister Siranna, from the Short Trek 'The Brightest Star,' and the showrunners have stated that we may see other Kelpians this season, so expect to see a visit to Saru's home planet of Kaminar sometime in the future. Maybe siblings will continue to be a theme this season.

Overall, 'Brother' was a pretty epic way to kick off the new season. It's fun and engaging, with a lot of potential. I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Strange New Worlds:

This section will record the planets the Disco visits and the places they go. Not a whole lot of that in this particular episode.

New Life and New Civilizations:

Here I'll keep track of all the new species, ideas, and cultures the crew encounters. Again, nothing in the way of that here.

Pensees (Thoughts):

-Mia Kirshner (Amanda) looks a lot like Amy Adams. She also really resembles Amanda from TOS, so that's nice.

-Stamets has a botanist friend aboard the Enterprise.

-In keeping with the Trek tradition of altering the intro, we have some brand new graphics added to the opening theme.

-Regulation 19, Section C allows a higher-ranking officer to take command of a starship in one of three contingencies: 1. An imminent threat; 2. The lives of Federation citizens are in danger; 3. There is no more qualified officer available to deal with the situation.

-I love Doug Jones' Saru walk. It's just so much fun to watch.

-That's the first shot we've gotten of a turbo lift running through a starship in all of Trek, if memory serves. Pretty cool, too.

-Another Alice in Wonderland nod. Also, holo-candles.

-Sarek mentioned that he's reached out to Klingon High Chancellor L'Rell (Mary Chieffo), and she had no explanation for the red bursts either.

-The Captain goes on the away mission, in true Trek tradition.

-There was a bit of Spock's Jellyfish ship from Star Trek (2009) in the design of the pods they flew.

-How cool was the pod sequence? Also, it was admittedly rather satisfying to see Olson Connelly get his comeuppance when he failed to pull his chute crashed and died because of the dumb risk he took.

-One of the ads loaded at the wrong time when I watched this the first time. The long ad break split a shot in half.

-I liked Reno (Tig Notaro). The idea of using an engineering approach to medicine is interesting, although I wouldn't want to be one of the first patients it was tried on.

-The Red Angel is still very much an unknown. I partially expect it will have something to do with the Klingons, if not only because they seem from the trailers to have a big role to play.

-The asteroid material wouldn't beam up. That's intriguing. It may be the key to fixing the spore drive, too, as it looks from the trailer that we'll be jumping again this season.

-'Not every cage is a prison, nor every loss eternal.' That's very interesting, and it has a lot of significance for Pike.

-It makes sense that the crew of the Enterprise would have issues with sitting out the war while on their five-year mission.

-The Disco's new Doctor is named Dr. Pollard.

-One of the names in the credits was 'Matt Decker.'

-A lot of references to faith/religion and related subjects in this episode. I don't think it's necessarily significant, but I thought it was worth noting.

-Alex Kurtzman directed this episode. I thought he did a great job; maybe he should stick to that instead of the whole coming up with ideas thing. I'm still baffled by the seriously weird and unsettling bits about Klingon anatomy from Season One.

Quotes:

Amanda: "I bless you, Michael... all my life."

Pike: "Do not covet thy neighbor's starship, Commander."

Pike: "Why didn't we think of that, Connelly? Think of all the syllables that gave their lives."

Pike: "Sometimes it's wise to keep your expectations low, Commander. That way we're never disappointed." Advice to the audience, perhaps?

Tilly: "I put her in a Utility closet, and I put you in there. I'm drunk on power."

Stamets: "Tilly, you are... incandescent. You're going to become a magnificent Captain because you do everything out of love. But I need you to repeat after me. I will say..." Tilly: "I will say..." Stamets: "Fewer things." Tilly: "Fewer thi- okay."

Sarek: "Spock has great reverence for his mother, but reverence tends to-" Burnham: "Fill up the room." It's the shot of Burnham's fairly empty quarters just as she interrupts that sells this one.

Pike: "Detmer - fly... good."

Pike: "I was expecting a red thing. Where's my damn red thing?"

Pike: "Spock asked the most amazing questions. It's completely logical, yet somehow able to make everyone see that logic was the beginning of the picture and not the end."

Burnham: "There are so many things I wish I'd said to you; so many things I want to say now. I'm too late, aren't I? I can only pray I don't lose you again... brother."

A strong, solid premiere. 5 out of 6 damn red things.

CoramDeo is interested in things.

[summerseachild]

Summersea’s GoT Season 6 Tumblr Spoiled First Time Watch 2019: Part 1

So I was going to rename this a “hatewatch” now that I’ve gotten to a whole season I hadn’t seen before, but let’s be honest. If you’ve seen me reblogging things from later seasons, it was never going to be that. There are things that I knew I was going to enjoy VERY MUCH, and I wasn’t wrong. There were also things that, if I let them, would have had me frothing a the mouth in rage. 

But then I reminded myself that I’m vacationing in Castle Not Giving a Shit while I watch the back half of the show, and things were much better after that. I’ve mostly left my in the moment reaction except where I’d had too much wine to be coherent.

Season 6

Hot on the heels of season 5 i still have a third of a bottle of Chardonnay left let’s DO THIS

6x01

1. Lol it’s still in the credits so they continue to pretend like they care about Dorne????

2. Ghost howling 😢😢😢

3. So Davos went straight from staning one dour person to another... he has a type.

4. Some dude in the night’s watch re Melisandre: who’s she? Davos: oh just some lady Who spat a shadow out of her vag once LETS TRUST HER

5. Wow Olly aged a lot over the past five minutes since he killed Jon!

6. Edd please don’t die here. I don’t remember how you go but don’t let it be here

7. Boo hoo poor little psychopath lost his gf. No one cares, Ramsay. Myranda deserved what she got AND SO WILL YOU

8. My soul left my body like three times during that chase scene where Theon and Sansa are running from the Bolton men. POOR COLD BBS

9. That hug where they’re just CLINGING TO EACH OTHER THIS SHOULD NOT MAKE ME SHIP IT BUT HERE WE ARE

10. THEON SHOWING HIMSELF TO TRY TO KEEP HER SAFE I CANNOT HE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS IF THEY CATCH HIM AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY SO SHE MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE 

11. IT’S BRIENNE OF MF-ING TARTH OMG YAY

12. Also go Theon killing that dude

13. UGH THE SWEARING FEALTY SCENE WITH SANSA AND BRIENNE AND ALL OF THEIR FACES AND SANSA LOOKING TO THEON BEFORE ACCEPTING AND POD REMINDING HER OF THE WORDS IT IS PERFECT 

14. Give me the AU where Theon lives and stays at Winterfell because he wants to be near her and they understand each other and Brienne is in her Queensgiard I AM NOT ASKING MUCH

15. Meanwhile in other trauma hi Cersei

16. UGH LOOK HOW SHE RUNS ACROSS THE COURTYARD TO SEE HER DAUGHTER

17. So... that scene with Jaime and Cersei where they talked about seeing Joanna’s dead body and she... Doesn’t blame him??? For Myrcella? Like I thought she would??? And she tells him about the prophecy??? And they hug??? Yeah that’s in contention for my fav Lannister twin scene ever? Top five at the very least. (And another member of the “Jaime writes his siblings’ dialogue” club.)

18. For all of his false kindness and gentleness the High Sparrow is just as bad as any of them, and When I’m not seething with anger I can appreciate how nuanced Jonathan Pryce’s performance is.

19. Wtf Ellaria and Tyene murdering Doran.

20. OMG TRYSTANE and I call Sand Snake Character Assassination here they are just SO BITCHY and without honor and the Dorneish are SO HONOR OBSESSED ugh why I hate it Also was that Myrcellas ship? Are there two bitchy Sand snakes just chilling in king’s landing now?? 

21. Tyrion and Varys among the people is kind of fascinating. Also what’s up with that Red Priest? Another who thinks the lord of light chose Dany?

22. Oh no the ships... Varys and Tyrion running TOWARD trouble says a lot about them.

23. Did the showrunners... forget Jorah would know the word Khalasar? Why would he say horde?

24. At least the Khals believe Dany is Drogo’s widow?

25. Ok so the waif is fascinating and her movements are just so... Succinct. A++ physical acting or whatever the word is.

26. Whoa that’s Melisandre without the necklace?? Cool story bro but why did she choose then to take it off? What does that tell us about her as a character or her powers? Just wanted to show some crone boobs? IDEK that was a weird ending.

6x02

1. The trailer reminds us that BRAN IS IN THIS SHOW

2. Remember this kid? He’s a Stark! He’s VERY IMPORTANT! He’s GONNA BE KING, but he wasn’t in all of season 5. He matters WE PROMISE.

3. The older generation of Starklings!!! I would be lying if I didn’t say seeing Lyanna and Brandon and Ned and Benejen And Nan and bb Hodor didn’t give me a LOT of feelings. (Also Bloodraven is the Worst Ghost of Christmas Past Ever.)

4. Cross fandom wish: I want to see Hodor, Groot, and Rocket have a conversation where everyone understands every word.

5. So... Meera and Summer have been hunting so that they all stay alive, right?? Otherwise WHAT ARE THEY EATING

6. Ok I take back what I said about them only having the Children once, but that was WEAK. “Help Bran, Meera. Because I said so and I’m a creepy magical person whose motivations are unclear”

7. YEAAAAAH WUN WUN SMASH THOSE TRAITORS. Good on you too Edd for taking charge.

8. Ugh every bar has one like that asshole talking about Cersei. And I don’t think he’s long for this world

9. I LOVE BEING RIGHT HI GREGOR

10. Why would Tommen keep Cersei away from Myrcella’s funeral. OH GODS HE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT HER.

11. Ugh Jaime is tired of keeping vigil over his dead family members GIVE HIM A BREAK

12. Also Jaime promising never to let Cersei be in a cell again while he’s there AAAAHHH YES 🦁 ❤️

13. There’s nothing more dangerous than a fanatic who fears nothing, Jaime. But him threatening the High Sparrow was made of sex.

14. SEVEN HELLS did Tommen just give Cersei the idea to blow up the sept

15. Dany’s council meeting in absentia is kind of neat. I was wondering how those crazy kids were doing. 

16. Lol I drink and I know things is ABOUT TYRION KNOWING ABOUT DRAGONS 🐉 I DID NOT KNOW THAT AND I LOVE IT

17. Tyrion being like “please DO NOT EAT THE ALLIES (me)” to Viserion and Rhaegal is amazing

18. Viserion is all ME TOO LET ME GO HERE’S THE CHAIN SMALL HUMAN when he shows Tyrion his neck.

19. That was a rough test Jaqen

20. Yes Ramsay please march North I dare you

21. Roose KNOWS what Ramsay is and tries to steer him out of it but I don’t think he truly understands how deep the crazy goes

22. HOLY SHIT RAMSAY JUST STABBED HIS DAD and everyone either is too scared of Ramsay to do anything about it or was in on it. LOOKING AT YOU KARSTARK ASSHOLE

23. Oh Walda you sweet trusting soul he is going to feed you and your baby to those dogs isn’t he. I DON’T like being right. Have I mentioned that?

24. Brienne recognizing Sansa’s choices were hard ❤️❤️

25. Ugh Theon talking about all the things he’s done and Sansa hugging him anyway aaaaah my soul

26. It’s hard to hear someone else say they forgive you you when you don’t think you deserve forgiveness, and he’s definitely not ready to hear it from Jon. (But he’s ready to hear it from Sansa because of what they’ve been through together? I like that explanation and I’m sticking to it.)

27. Oh right Pyke exists the show doesn’t remember that unless it’s convenient.

28. HOW DARE YOU REFERENCE THAT PINECONES LINE SHOW YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THAT

29. Ok at least Yara cares about her people and we get to see it.

30. OMG Euron? He’s the one who kills Balon?

31. ...and he’s kind of got delusions of Grandeur? “I am the drowned god” wtf sir.

32. Gotta admit Iron Islands burial customs are kinda neat

33. We get the Kingsmoot? I’m listening, show... you’re on notice but I’m listening.

34. Depressed Melisandre is depressed. Wait... has she never done the raising from the dead thing? SEVEN HELLS SHE HASN’T.

35. A pep talk from Davos might snap me out of my crisis of faith too.

36. Thoros can do this in the language of Westeros, but I guess if Valyrian works for you...

37. I love Tormund peacing out of the room with Mostly Dead Jon like “I have had enough of this south of the wall bullshit”

38. Did Melisandre reach the lord of lights answering machine and it took him a while to get back? “If you would like to leave a resurrection request for R’hllor, please press one...”

39. Ghost’s eyes open AND SO DO JON’S hey bro

6x03 this episode is called Oathbreaker ARE WE ABOUT TO GET TO SEE THE FLASHBACK TO JAIME KILLING AERYS PLZ TELL ME

1. He liiiives! Poor Jon... what did you see while you were gone I wonder?

2. Oh jeez it was nothing. At least he has the most comforting sensible person in this series to help him through.

3. I like that Jon gets to come downstairs and HUG TWO OF HIS FRIENDS and none of the nights watch or the wildlings bat an eye or seem to think less of him for it. LET MEN HUG. 

4. Oh jeez Sam’s taking Gilly and the baby to Horn Hill? Do we get to meet his mom? (No one cares about Randylll but I think we might get to meet him too?)

5. BB Sam is SO CUTE HE HAS HAIR NOW.

6. Wait is Gilly pregnant again?

7. That is the Tower of Joy and I AM NOT READY

8. HOLY SHIT HOWLAND REED KILLED ARTHUR DAYNE?

9. Sword of the morning indeed WHAT A BADASS (somewhere in my soul Jaime is waving an “Arthur Dayne Rocks” banner) there’s no way Ned could have won that fight without help and now Bran knows that??? I don’t really have anything interesting to say here I just love the idea of a kid getting to see the truth of a family story that’s radically different from what he thought he knew.

10. Past Ned HEARD BRAN? FASCINATING?

11. Oh right Dany is about to meet all of the other widows of the Khals this could be cool but knowing d and d it won’t be because it would involve treating WoC with nuance.

12. Not impressed so far.

13. So this girl Varys is meeting with is in league with the Sons of the Harpy? Good my memory is intact.

14. all this with Varys actually TRYING to take care of Meereen is fun...

15. Tyrion being like OMG I AM BORED PLZ TALK ABOUT SOMETHING to Grey Worm and Missandei is the most him thing ever. I feel you Bro. He’s a people person deep down and just wants to be friends so badly.

16. Qyburn with all of Varys’ little birds and making kids’ abusive parents disappear is PRECIOUS.

17. Don’t poke the Mountain, Jaime

18. LANNISTER MUSICAL CHAIRS PART 2 also Jaime is ON THE SMALL COUNCIL NOW??? Who gave book!Cersei three wishes??? Him actually being in her corner and working with her as a team must be like a wish come true...

19. “Grand Maester Pycelle would you sanction that starement?” 😂 Lena’s delivery of that line made me laugh so hard we had to rewind to hear the dialogue.

20. No no don’t leave the three of them together they’ll plan murder. Well, Cersei and Jaime will. Gregor will nod.

21. Tommen confronting the high sparrow fascinated me. He has some of the I WILL KILL YOU family traits on display here but it’s understandable given what his family has gone through at the high sparrows hand. I’d be threatening murder too if I were him.

22. What are you playing at mr high Sparrow? Because I don’t trust you farther than I can throw you, and I don’t even have a good arm.

23. The Hound was not on her list any more 😢 that whole scene with Arya recounting her life and learning to fight blind is NEAT.

24. Wait faceless men are immune to the poison in the water?? Cool.

25. Is that supposed to be Greatjon Umber’s son who refuses Jon? What an ass.

26. My wife adds, “THESE LOSERS are the people Sansa is supposed to be queen of?”

27. OH SHIT OSHA AND RICKON AND SHAGGYDOG HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN? (Please let Sansa Find out who did that and who helped and give them what they deserve... there’s no way anyone took down that wolf alone.) I HATE THAT WE ARE NEVER GOING TO GET CLOSURE ON THAT PROBABLY.

28. Oh shit Jon has to hang the traitors that’s gonna be hard on him.

29. At least Alliser is consistent.

30. Jon did what he had to do... just like Ned in the first ep.

31. Wait WHAT did you just hang those men and then LEAVE? Isn’t leaving just as damaging to the order as killing the lord commander? That seemed overly quick and weird but ok????

32. Guess Jon was the Oathbreaker.

6x04

1. If anyone deserved an I JUST DIED crisis, it’s Jon. Also, the vows say, “it will not end until my death...” so technically...

2. Brienne got them up to the Wall QUICK. She is nothing if not efficient.

3. Sansa and Jon are like, “so... how cool are we going to play this? NOT COOL AT ALL LETS HUG” so sweet.

4. “Where will WE go?” Yes stay together Starklings because family is important certainly don’t scatter to the four winds or anything 🙄

5. I kind of love that Sansa’s the one who insists on taking back Winterfell and is all “help me or not I’m doing it”

6. I’m Brienne of Tarth and I HAVE A LONG FUCKING MEMORY. Wait... wrong show. (She DOES, though...) 

7. Wow Petyr lying about Sansa being forced to Marry Ramsay... he’s playing the lords of the Vale like a fiddle.

8. That’s a lovely bird he got Robin. What a pretty boy.

9. Missandei staring daggers at Tyrion is Excellent Content. The “Tyrion tries to be a little more diplomatic but this involves dealing with slavers” problem is... a bit oversimplified, but at least they’re addressing it? Still not great. 

10. Jorah and Daario are off on a secret mission and I cant stop hearing the Galavant song.

11. The older widow of the Dosh Khaleen is more interesting than the show will let her be.

12. Is that Lazareen widow Dutch from Killjoys? IT IS!!!!

13. Guess what high Sparrow NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SELF RIGHTEOUS CONVERSION STORY LEAST OF ALL ME (guess who has some issues with organized religion it’s meeeee)

14. Way to act your heart out, though, Jonathan Pryce.

15. So idk if I’ve made a big deal about this but I’m SUPER QUEER and seeing Loras broken like that made my heart stop for a second.

16. “Not setting off” fanatics, huh Pycelle? I think Cersei has other ideas 😈 🔥

17. Tommen is TALLER THAN CERSEI NOW

18. Cersei and Jaime trying to get Olenna and Kevan on their side against the High Sparrow is... smarter than I thought it was going to be when they walked into that room. They had a united front, they were clearly working together... WHAT IS THIS I LIKE IT

19. Theon looks like a ghost of himself. :( And Pyke looks all creepy.

20. Jeez Yarra go easy on your little brother his psyche still has cracks in it. I guess it’s understandable that she’s pissed given the failed rescue and the timing of his arrival. I kept just waiting for him to say “I want to be home,” when she yelled WHAT DO YOU WANT but he didn’t and that makes me sad. (Home should have been Winterfell or wherever Sansa was just saying.)

21. Oh Osha don’t try it... shit. Well, you tried

22. And Tormund’s epic crush on Brienne begiiiiiins

23. SHIT RAMSAY TELLS JON HE HAS RICKON

24. Sansa insisting on reading the rest of the letter from Ramsay is... made of steel. I’m here for her being the driving force behind this attempted rescue.

25. I didn’t realize that so many Dothraki knew about how Dany lost the baby and Drogo.

26. DID DANY JUST KILL ALL OF THE KHALS? Girl knows how to make an entrance? The optics here are sooooo problematic but she looks DAMNED impressive the plan in and of itself is sound - gets rid of the men who don’t respect her and shows herself to be indestructible in one power move...

6x05 OH NO THIS IS CALLED THE DOOR I THINK I KNOW WHAT IS COMING

1. Is it just me or are d and d writing more and more episodes themselves?

2. Sansa has had enough of Littlefinger’s bullshit. Making him face up to what HE LEFT HER TO WHEN HE MARRIED HER TO RAMSAY AND ABANDONED HER YES GOOD.

3. When he says “did he cut you” and Sansa talking about Ramsay not caring as long as she could give him an heir... does that mean what I think it does? FGM? I hate that I even wonder. (Still not sure about this, but I don’t put it past them to imply something horrific like that and then not come back to it.)

4. The more I see the waif fight, the cooler she gets.

5. Faceless men founded Braavos? Right I KNEW that.

6. Ok the play is fun... complete with sound effects. So interesting to see what people in Braavos think of everything that happened.

7. So... I would Lady Crane’s voice anywhere. Hi Phryne!

8. Oh wow look at all the CotF

9. THEY MADE THE WHITE WALKERS I did not know that and for YEARS before this season came out we had an au idea where that was true and I AM SCREAMING

10. AND THEY DID IT TO DEFEND AGAINST THE ANDALS AND WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO THE TREES

11. Yara’s speech was lovely, Theon supporting her was sweet, but Yara shouldn’t have needed a dude’s support to get that reaction from the crowd. She’s been on Pyke and being badass ALL HER LIFE. That being said, I like to think Yara would have been Queen in this version of things if Euron hadn’t showed up. What a Dick.

12. How does Euron go from wanting to marry Dany to allying with Cersei? I guess I’m about to find out.

13. Damphair knows cpr, idiot showrunners. don’t just let Euron lie there.

14. YES GET AWAY YARA AND THEON AND... a lot of the fleet? Good on them.

15. Jorah trying to leave Dany and her not letting him and commanding him to find a cure aaaahhhhh my feelings 😢

16. In the real world Tyrion would have been a great campaign manager.

17. If they wanted someone local... why get a red priestess from Volantis? Is this supposed to be the same woman? Do any of the people of Meereen even follow the faith of R’Hollor?

18. Varys having no time for the red faith’s bullshit is SO GOOD. It’s ok Varys you’re probably the most famous eunuch in the world right now. And whoop de doo a sorceress knows a story about a sorcerer it’s a small magical world don’t let her cow you.

19. ...whatcha doing, Bran???

20. Well that’s not creepy at all. Soooo many wights. Were there only... four white walkers including the night king? I’m so confused.

21. “The Umbers gave Rickon to Ramsay they can hang” YES SANSA

22. Why did she lie about getting info from Petyr? (And GOOD ON BRIENNE calling her on it)

23. Brienne calling Jon “a bit brooding” is the most hilarious thing ever. Somewhere Jaime Lannister is laughing his ass off. 

24. Yes wolfy clothes for everyone.

25. Awww Edd forgetting he’s acting lord commander is hilarious.

26. SO MANY WIGHTS DON’T DIE MIRA

27. Why are the children and the white walkers on opposite sides? Are these just about rogue CotF? EXPLAIN SHOW EXPLAIN

28. Cool visuals though... the night king walking through that fire was AWESOME.

29. Rickard LOOKS like a stark in that flashback.

30. RIP Bloodraven... glad you didn’t have to see how pointless all of this was.

31. Wait wait plain old wights can KILL THE CHILDREN? Dumb.

32. SUMMER NO I AM NOT OK WITH ANY OF THIS not Leaf either she’s a nice little tree person even if her motivations are unclear.

33. So Bran warging into Hodor in the present and in the past at the same time is what messed him up? Or something about the time folding and Bran BEING THERE?

34. That was upsetting as fuck about Hodor and I AM SAD EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WAS COMING

And... tumblr won’t let me post the whole thing. I had A LOT to say about some later episodes. Remember when I was going to keep this to three bullet points for each episode? Yeah me neither. 

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff ~ Seven of the Season: Tangled the Series

WARNING: Be warned that I’ve never done this, but hey, trying something new everyday never hurts. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

I remember last December when 2017 Me put Tangled the Series on my “Best of” list, and now I want to prove its worth. I love this show, even when the love started to fall apart in my mind per the look back. Ups and downs, it was nice to see Rapunzel given a cartoon of her own, showcasing what a Disney princess worth their skill can be outside their respective feature. So here be the Top 7 BEST Episodes of Tangled. Seven, because it’s lucky, baby. Here we go...

7. Under Raps

I despise myself for shipping Cassandra and Rapunzel sometimes. It feels reasonable but Rapunzel already has Eugene and Disney isn’t making room for polyamorous relationships just yet so the thought feels baseless. But I’ll just stick to the dynamics between the three as this gives the three excellent moments of what makes them the best in show, especially the third act where they fight the predictable bad guy that was pretending to be Cassandra’s pretend infatuation. Eugene’s sensible yet reckless side shines, Rapunzel’s compassionate yet overtly ambitious side shines, and Cassandra’s “I’m done” attitude especially shines through and they are what makes this episode great from start to finish. Only downside is, again, Cassandra’s love interest, who was so predictable even she could see through his shit. “Which makes Cass awesome and makes her and Rapunzel meant to be evermore!” Silence, inner voice, that’s what the next entry’s for.

6. Challenge of the Brave

I can say that this episode certainly solidified my love for both Cass and Rapunzel as characters. Initially, first impressions me was disgruntled at both Cass for her dishonesty and Rapunzel for failing to read the room. But now I realized that heck, why be disheveled at their weaknesses when their weaknesses build their strengths. With Cass being a force to be reckoned with and Punzie as the purest cinnamon you wouldn’t dare touch, I can’t help but love every minute of them together from this episode and beyond. Now you can say it. “Punzie and Cassy, medieval lesbian adventurers for life, baby! WOOP WOOP IN THE SOUP!!!” Furthermore, this frame of Rapunzel below made the episode so worth it, first hand and looking back.

this frame radiates so much good energy, the best energy

5. Max’s Enemy

Now, if there’s one thing the crew behind this show gets right 100%, it’s their animal characters, especially when their animal characters get one off episodes. Out of the two, Max’s Enemy gives the horse, the HORSE, a conflict that not only feels genuine but doesn’t come across as annoying as I’ve seen from other cartoons. You have Axel, who’s essentially the same as Max only more of a show-boater and is better than him at physical feats, but that doesn’t stop Max from outshining Axel in the end because one should never stop doing their best regardless of who claims otherwise. Also, Lady Caine returned, and I think she’s a great recurring antagonist in this series notably because A) she’s basically Eugene with her motives standing to be reasonably justified from before and B) she is one that plans so smoothly yet fails so hard, it’s tragically comedic. I hope they can bring her back another time. Also, this episode gets points for not annoying me with horse noises.

4. Fitzherbert P.I.

Honestly, this is one of the two episodes I put on this list solely because it focuses on Eugene being awesome. I say this because it is a pretty simple episode: Eugene proving his worth and girth of change to Cassandra and her dad while Rapunzel becomes artistically frantic over what her painting should consist of. Pretty cut clean story, but what made this pretty high on the list are particular scenes. One where, after seeing Eugene getting unjustly trampled during training by her father, Cassandra throws him some advice and support after all the smirking she done at the thought of him failing. Gave me a solid notion that while Eugene and Cass are happily at each other’s throats, they share a sibling type bond where they can be honest and will put a squabble aside to help each other out. Another scene is where Queen Ariana shows Raps the kooky portrait she had and that made her....an incredible supportive character in my eyes from then on. She can do no wrong, less so than the King and that clearly shows over the season. Honestly this episode is one where, on the look back, I can’t help but advocate it.

3. The Wrath of Ruthless Ruth

Putting my bias out here now: Danielle “Taystee” Brooks sold me this episode, ten fold. Her voice, and her singing, was the honey to the tea of this spoopy charming episode. The haunting mystery not only allowed for Rapunzel’s tender, optimistic nature, the Captain’s insipid stubbornness, and the pub thug’s slapstickiness to be at their most best, but the musical that culminates from it is to be one of the show’s greatest. One with purpose, flare, and a memorable melodic mood to boot. Shit, I shed a tear when I “listened up” for the fourth time it was that beautiful. I will say the very ending put a bittersweet taste in my mouth, but bittersweet is better than terrible so my love for this wasn’t spoiled in the least. And again, the sister had pipes; can never stop respecting that.

2. Big Brothers of Corona

OYE, this was a tough one. Between this and the real number one, these are the best of the best episodes in the season. *GROANS* I’m gonna put a pin on that last statement, you’ll understand later. But for now, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUck yes do I love this episode. Haven’t been able to say this, but Lance Strongbow is the best new character in this show, tied with Cassandra, and him and Eugene make for as great duo as the latter and Rapunzel. That being said, him and Eugene taking care of two young mischievous thieves made me smile throughout most of the time. This being the second episode where it’s nothing but Eugene proving himself to be awesome, not only do the kids prove themselves to be most purest cinnamon rolls, but it feels all the more crushing when they have to leave with a hug goodbye. I’ll let inner thoughts express this further:  “Why couldn’t Eugene and Lance adopt these kids, MAN?! Why didn’t Lance? He and Red were like peas in a pod, man. They deserve the world! *sobs* Bring ‘em back, writers, I swear to me...... I’m sorry...*sniff* it feels crushing remembering this. Wholesome little young ones.” Only downside to this episode overall is the sideplot with Cass and Rapunzel, not that it’s bad, but it felt too conventional and inferior to the main story at hand. But, it’s that main story that just hits so many good notes. This episode’s a keeper, and I hope, I WISH, Angry and Red come back for season two.

Honorable Mentions: One Angry Princess, Not in the Mood, Return of Strongbow, and Great Expotations in said order

1. Pascal’s Story

Remember when I said this and Big Bros of Corona were the best of the best? Well pulling the pin, I can strongly say that this, objectively, is the best episode of the season, of the series so far, hell of cartoon history. Not only is this a great backstory episode, not only does this pull the heart strings ever so passionately, but it’s one that makes every scene count. I could be like Mr. Enter and go on about how the Pascal’s backstory plays well into his present situation/dilemma, how Rapunzel’s 0 to 100 mood feels so moving & natural, how Rapunzel’s tower from the movie plays an integral part in all this, and so forth. All this from an episode about a princess’s animal sidekick, with the ending to put it all on its own pedestal? Talk about pulverizing my soul. From start to finish, Pascal’s Story is one that admirably hits all the right notes and does so in a way that appeals to anyone and everyone logically and emotionally.

So yeah, this series has most definitely proven itself, and I bet and hope it does provide again when season two comes around this fall. Apologies for Varian not making the cut, but.......eh, I don’t want to make a worst list. All that said, I’m Roy Macintosh, and that’s all I got.

[metawitches]

In episode 2 of season 7, the Agents of SHIELD have to protect Freddy and get him to his rendezvous point before the Chronicoms can kill him. Knowing who he will become makes the job more difficult for some. Ernest Koenig comes along for a ride in the Zephyr.

Recap

Mack drives the getaway car as he and Deke help Freddy escape the Chronicoms with the vial of serum and some cases of bootleg liquor. Freddy convinces them the liquor is what he’s transporting to his contact and hides the vial of serum in one of the bottles.

Deke tries to contact the rest of the agents using his radio. Mack explains to Freddy that it’s like a phone. Freddy tells him it’s not working because he needs to plug it in to something.

Koenig figures out that Daisy and Coulson aren’t who they say they are and gives them a hard time. Jemma and Elena arrive, dressed in period clothes, so that Jemma can remove the bullet from Freddy’s Hydra contact. Koenig goes through more fussing over his lack of control in the situation and their dislike of his ward, Freddy.

Daisy argues that they should kill Freddy, since it would save so many lives. Elena wonders if they could try changing the course of his life, instead of killing him. Jemma explains that either plan would change history enough to give the Chronicoms the future they want, allowing them to conquer Earth.

Once Jemma has removed the bullet, Koenig tells the team that the Chronicops are searching the neighborhood looking for them. Coulson checks in with Enoch on Zephyr 1, since they can’t reach Mack and Deke. He asks Enoch to work on increasing the signal to their radios.

Enoch tells them that May is awake and active. Jemma orders him to get her back in the healing pod. Leaving too early could cause complications. May won’t listen to Enoch. Her memory seems to be affected. She fights him rather than going back to the pod. He’s upgraded to Hunter level fight programming, but still can’t beat May.

May remembers going to the spirit realm. She doesn’t know that she died temporarily and doesn’t react to the news. She injects Enoch with the sedative meant for her, but it doesn’t affect him.

Good to know that Chronicoms aren’t affected by sedatives.

Mack and Deke take Freddy to the train depot. He’s meeting his contact 500 miles away. They insist on escorting him the entire way to keep him safe from the Chronicops.

The Chronicops reach Koenig’s before the team can leave, so they hide in a backroom with Freddy’s contact, who’s unconscious. Koenig chatters at the cops while they search. The Chronicops are about to leave when the contact wakes up and gets noisy, making the cops suspicious. The contact knocks a bottle to the floor, alerting the Chronicops that someone is definitely there. Before they can search the backroom, another Chronicop calls them away because they’ve found Mack and Deke’s getaway car.

Elena saw the bottle start to fall, but couldn’t make herself move to stop it.

The team questions the contact. She’s a friend of Freddy’s father who wanted to help him. Jemma notices a drop of green liquid on the contact’s shoes and recognizes what it is. She does a chemical test to be sure.

Mack and Deke chat up Freddy while they ride the train. He tells them that his family lost everything in the 1929 Crash. His dad jumped off a building and his mother hasn’t spoken a word since. He does what he needs to do to survive, but he has big dreams. This delivery should help him move forward. Mack is skeptical that a few crates of bootleg liquor can change his life.

Daisy asks why Elena didn’t use her speed to catch the bottle. After a minute, Elena admits she froze, maybe because of the shrike that’s still inside her. Her body is absorbing it, but it’s still a scary thing to have inside.

Jemma discovers that the green serum is a key ingredient of the supersoldier serum invented by Abraham Erskine and used on Steve Rogers and the Red Skull.

While Freddy naps, Mack and Deke search the crates. Freddy gets angry when he wakes up and discovers them.

May overhears Enoch’s conversations with the team about issues they’re having and decides she needs to get out in the field to help them. She puts on her 21st century outfit and radios the team, but reception is still spotty.

The team continues to argue about whether to change the timeline in front of Koenig, who thinks they’re crazy. The contact finally tells them that they’ll find Freddy in H*ll.

Koenig happens to know where that is. He’ll show them if he can go along and catch a ride on their fancy ship. The Chronicops also figure out where Freddy is.

Freddy tries to stop Deke and Mack from searching the bottles, but they muscle past him. He pulls a gun on them.

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Enoch tries to stop May from leaving Zephyr 1. They have a physical fight. The team drive onto the ship in a period car. Coulson stops the fight. May recognizes that he’s not the real Coulson or Sarge, but she doesn’t act surprised to see him. She says he’s still dead.

May goes back into the healing pod without any more trouble. The rest of the team is concerned about her lack of emotion.

They brought Koenig on board wearing a blindfold. When they remove it, he’s stunned that he’s on an advanced rocket ship with a robot Chronicom.

Freddy holds Mack and Deke at gunpoint and tells them to admit who they really are. Deke says they came to protect him. He doesn’t understand why he would be important. Mack says it’s complicated, and asks how Freddy knows the people he’s making the delivery to won’t kill him afterward. Freddy says that he knows his contact and she wouldn’t betray him that way. Mack and Deke take the gun from Freddy just as the train reaches its destination.

The team explain who they really are to Koenig. Then they try to convince him that Freddy will turn into a supervillain. He doesn’t want to believe it.

An alarm goes off, alerting them that Zephyr 1 will be making a time jump in 17 minutes. When the time window closes, the ship jumps whether they are onboard and ready or not.  Jemma says, “There’s no way to predict when the next launch window will open, it could be 24 hours, 24 minutes or 24 weeks.”

Daisy goes into the next room to contact Deke and Mack to give them the news. She gets Deke on the radio and realizes he’s with Freddy. And he has a gun. She orders him to shoot Freddy. Deke doesn’t want to do it, since it goes against his orders and Freddy is just a kid, but Daisy talks him into it.

They’ve moved the crates outside, but Mack is still searching them. It’s a pointless action, because they shouldn’t make any large changes to the future and removing the serum would be one. Just as Mack finds the serum, Deke tells him who Freddy is.

Deke prepares to shoot, saying he has orders to kill Freddy. Mack orders him not to shoot, reminding Deke that he’s the director, not Daisy. Deke brings up all of the terrible things Freddy and Gideon will do. Freddy is confused, because he’s never hurt anyone before and doesn’t have kids.

Just as Deke backs down, the Chronicops show up. He gets in a gunfight with them instead. When Deke runs out of bullets, Mack charges one and gets in a fistfight. The Chronicoms have large energy weapons.

The rest of the team arrive, including Ernest. Freddy grabs the serum and makes a run for it. Ernest follows him into an empty building. He tries to talk Freddy into making different choices.

But it’s already too late. If there ever was any hope for Freddy, the things he’s seen and heard and the way he’s been treated in this episode have taught him that taking care of himself is the only way to survive. They told him that he’s going to survive and prosper, so now he feels invincible. He shoots Ernest in the shoulder just as a car pulls up for him.

Freddy: “You think you know me. You don’t know me. You don’t know nothing.”

The Chronicoms watch Freddy leave and realize they can’t stop Hydra from forming. Having lost this battle, they speed to their ship before the launch window closes and it jumps. The SHIELD team runs for Zephyr 1.

Enoch finds Ernest sitting in the empty building, complaining about his minor bullet wound. He tells Enoch that Freddy left with his contact. Enoch leaves for the Zephyr.

The rest of the team makes it to the Zephyr with only 30 seconds left before the jump. Jemma says they have to close the door, or the ship will be torn apart when they travel. Enoch makes it within sight of the ship, but is too late to board. He watches the warp monolith time bubble form and the ship disappear.

He walks back to find Ernest and returns to the speakeasy with him, which in the future is one of Peggy Carter’s super secret safehouses. Behind the bar, Enoch makes Ernest his specialty from the pleasure planet, Kitson, a Barracoolada.

Ernest loves it and hires Enoch to tend bar on the spot. They agree that Enoch knows his onions.

But Ernest has some conditions. He wants to know all about SHIELD and all about robots. He feels like he could be of service to SHIELD and he’s fascinated by robots. Enoch corrects him- Chronicoms, not robots. And tells Ernest that his grandchildren will also find this whole thing fascinating.

“Enoch, this looks like the start of a marvelous friendship.”

Commentary

And at one of their next few stops, the team will discover that Enoch and Ernest have made SHIELD a fortune which will sustain its independent budget for at least 7 seasons of television, built a remote base for each grandchild to staff, figured out the timing of the Tides and created all sorts of exciting new technology with FITZ!

Freddy wouldn’t say that Deke needed to plug his radio/phone in, because phones belonged to the phone company and were wired into the wall until the mid 80s when the phone company was broken up into many smaller companies under antitrust laws. Then phones became modular and were made to snap into the wall with jacks. Plugs didn’t come along until the 90s with cordless phones and cell phones.

I guess AOS really is in a different timeline from ours.

“I’m a doctor, not a dame (Jim)!” — Star Trek reference.

I’m a biochemist, not a bird (Jim).” –Also a Star Trek reference.

Daisy comes off as selfish for her insistence that they end Malick, despite the known dire consequences. She’s admittedly had a tough time with love, losing both Grant and Lincoln, while the others all have successful pairings (relatively speaking). But this isn’t her first time travel rodeo- she knows how it works. It’s obvious that she wants Malick dead because of the role he’ll play in her boyfriend Lincoln’s death. Is it her turn to be the emotional basket case of the season again, after Fitz has carried that burden for a few years?

Being the best friend of Leopold Fitz is now a standard part of Enoch’s introduction. But where is his bestie? How long is it since they’ve seen each other? How many years is a “considerable amount of time” to a Chronicom?

So the Tides, or launch windows, work like the monoliths, opening and then closing according to their own predetermined schedule, with the time travel bubble, or tide, covering a certain area. The jump windows probably are predictable, but using an extremely complex algorithm.

Freddy’s female contact will also turn out to be someone important, since she never gave even a first name, after all that screen time and dialogue over two episodes.

Images courtesy of ABC.

Agents of SHIELD S7Ep2: Know Your Onions Recap-The team gets Freddy to his rendezvous point before the Chronicoms can kill him. Knowing who he is makes the job harder for some. Koenig takes a ride in the Zephyr. #AgentsofSHIELD In episode 2 of season 7, the Agents of SHIELD have to protect Freddy and get him to his rendezvous point before the Chronicoms can kill him.

[divinebird]

unchanging

pairing: sheith (shiro/keith)    wc: 2,324 note: After watching the new season of Voltron I decided to try and write something out set after episode 8, so if you haven’t seen it then there are definitely spoilers in this fic so be warned! Hope you enjoy! Also thank you, May, for making sure it was all okay ily! summary: “Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

Keith doesn’t look at him, staring down at his lap. His voice is hesitant and quiet, like it’s hard for him to ask (knowing Keith, it probably is). “That I’m part Galra?”

“No,” Shiro answers immediately. “It doesn’t bother me. Having Galra blood doesn’t make you Galra. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re like the ones we’re fighting every day. You’re still you, Keith, and that’s all that matters to me.”

{ AO3 }

There’s really not enough time for the two of them to be alone but Shiro makes time after all the planning is done with, gently placing a hand on Keith’s arm to get his attention. Keith startles, eyes wide with surprise as he looks up at him. It fades away, replaced by confusion. “Shiro?” He questions, sounding tired. “Do you need something?”

Shiro shakes his head, moving his hand to Keith’s back instead. “Come on,” He murmurs, leading them out of the room. Keith lets him, matching his pace as the two of them walk together. He opens the door to his room and walks inside, knowing that Keith will follow him in.

The door shuts behind them and Shiro looks around his room, noting the clutter with a grimace. He hasn’t really been as tidy as he’d like, considering they’ve been fighting and running constantly he’d say that he’s allowed to be a little messy.

“Did you want to talk or something?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” He says, turning to face him. “I was watching the whole thing, you know.”

“I can just sleep it off or go to one of the healing pods, it’s fine.”

Shiro holds up his supplies, bandages and a small towel, offering a smile. “Let me take care of you? I promise I’ll be careful.” The last part is said teasingly, and he’s happy to see that it makes Keith smile.

Keith’s gaze goes from his hand to his face, expression thoughtful. A moment passes before he finally nods, already starting to remove his armor. “I know you’ll be careful.” He says, wincing a bit as he moves around. “I trust you.”

The fact that he says it so easily makes warmth unfurl in his chest. Keith has said it before a couple of times, that he trusts Shiro, and it always gives him the same reaction. Keith’s trust isn’t an easy thing to gain and it’s something that’s even harder to keep but somehow Shiro still has it.

He wants to keep proving that he deserves that trust.

Once Keith’s out of the Paladin armor he sits down on Shiro’s bed, looking as if taking it off made him more exhausted than he already was. Shiro brings his chair over and sits across from him, scooting close enough so he’s within touching distance. The glow is what catches his attention next and Shiro frowns. “They let you keep it?”

Keith blinks at him, looking down at himself and then letting out a soft laugh. “I didn’t realize I was still wearing the suit.” He shrugs, wincing a second later. “I was kind of in a hurry, you know. I had to stop Red from destroying the place. I think they’d understand.” He pulls down one shoulder of the suit, hand coming up to clutch at it, on the spot where he had been cut by one of those blades. Shiro wonders if it’ll scar, if it’ll remind Keith of what he’s been through and what he’s done like Shiro’s own do for him.

He shakes that thought away, reaching out with his free hand. “Does it hurt?” He asks quietly, fingers brushing against it.

Keith shakes his head, relaxing. “Barely feel it.” He answers, and Shiro knows it’s true. “Dunno if I’ll need to bandage it but better be safe than sorry, right?”

“Right.”

The cut doesn’t seem to be bleeding, a shade darker than Keith’s skin and pink in some places. Shiro touches it gently, tracing the edges of it as Keith shivers. “Wonder what the blades are made of.” He murmurs curiously, picking up a couple of the bandages that can stick. He places them on Keith carefully, making sure it won’t come off easily.

“Luxite.”

Shiro frowns, confused. “What?”

“They’re made of luxite.” Keith continues, voice soft. “Mined from a planet that doesn’t exist anymore. I know mine is and since it seems to be like the ones they have then I’m guessing they’re all luxite.”

“How do you know this?”

He watches as Keith’s cheeks go pink, eyes darting to the side. “Found out when I went to that space mall.”

“Didn’t you get in trouble there?”

The color darkens. “Yes,” He gets in reply, a hint of a scowl on his face. “The alien I asked thought I stole it and called security on me, but I think I would have been chased after anyways. Kept calling us pirates.” He huffs, shaking his head. “Probably saw us in those ridiculous outfits.”

Shiro grabs the towel next, lightly pressing against the scrapes on his face. “You should start using it when you train, it’ll be good to have an extra weapon on you.”

“I plan to, I thought the same thing.”

He places the towel down and holds up the rest of the bandages. Keith reaches up to touch his scrapes before shaking his head. “It might hurt a bit but not too much, hopefully.” Shiro tells him, setting them aside. “You’ll also have to take it easy for a while, I know you’re going to have bruises all over your body.”

“I’ll actually listen this time.” Keith replies, lips twitching. “I mean it, I will. Everything’s already feeling sore.” He scoots backwards on the bed until his back hits the wall, leaning against it and gazing at Shiro. He smiles this time, a shy one. “Thanks, Shiro.”

“You don’t have to thank me, I wanted to do this.” He leans back against his chair, bumping his knee against Keith’s foot. “I wanted to help you.”

“Thanks anyways.”

They both fall silent, Keith looking lost in thought and Shiro watching him. He spends a lot of time watching Keith, he realizes. Shiro could close his eyes and see Keith in his head, looking exactly like the one he sees every day.

Which is what he did when he was out there, alone and trying to survive. The image of Keith is what kept him going, hoping to get back home someday and see him in person; Keith still gives Shiro strength, even now, and he hopes that he does the same for him.

Watching him does mean that he catches when Keith finally decides to speak, sitting up straighter when he sighs.

“Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

Keith seems to struggle with something, like he’s trying to make a difficult decision. “Sit with me?” He finally asks, scooting over to make space for Shiro. He does so without a second thought, the two of them facing each other on the bed.

“Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

Keith doesn’t look at him, staring down at his lap. His voice is hesitant and quiet, like it’s hard for him to ask (knowing Keith, it probably is). “That I’m part Galra?”

“No,” Shiro answers immediately. “It doesn’t bother me. Having Galra blood doesn’t make you Galra. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re like the ones we’re fighting every day. You’re still you, Keith, and that’s all that matters to me.” He feels his cheeks grow warm and he feels the urge to hide but he resists, keeping his eyes on Keith. “Nothing will change the fact that you’re the most important person in my life.”

He watches color blossom on Keith’s cheeks, his blush matching Shiro’s. He panics, for a moment, thinking that he might have said too much but then Keith smiles.

“I understand the feeling,” He says softly, sounding so fond that it makes Shiro ache in the best way. “You’re my most important person too. I’ve always known that but I think I realized, today, just how important you are to me.”

“They did say the suit shows you your greatest hopes and fears.”

Keith doesn’t look at him, picking at the threads on Shiro’s sheet as he starts talking. “You were able to see that part too? It’s true, seeing you is what keeps me going—you give me hope and strength, I hope you understand that.”

Shiro does understand that, and a huge part of him is pleased by the fact that they both do that for each other. He almost says this, too, but then Keith lifts his head. Their eyes meet and Shiro’s startled to see that they’re shining with tears. “But I fear losing you in so many ways, Shiro. I fear you telling me what I don’t want to hear and purposely leaving me behind. I fear you being gone again, losing you when I just got you back.”

“Keith…”

“What scares me the most though,” Keith says, stumbling over his words. “Is that I’ll never get the chance to tell you what I should have told you a long time ago.” He laughs sadly, still managing to smile. “I feel this so well, I feel it all the time with you, but it’s still hard to try and get the words out.” He takes a deep breath and Shiro doesn’t interrupt this time, waiting patiently for Keith to finish. “I love you, Shiro.”

Shiro’s pretty sure he stops breathing.

Keith frowns, as if realizing this too. “Shiro?” He asks, scooting forward. He reaches out, placing a hand on his knee and giving him a light shake. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to break you, if that’s what happened.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He smiles at Keith the moment he gets himself together, feeling giddy with happiness. “I love you too, more than this entire universe. You’re the one person I trust completely, with my life and my heart, and I can—” He pauses, wondering if he should continue. Keith looks stunned, like he can’t believe Shiro is saying that to him, and that’s what makes him finish. “I can see a future with you, a forever with you, if you’d want that.”

They both stare at each other, the silence stretching on for a couple of moments. Shiro swallows, ready to ask if that was okay to say when he catches sight of a tear.

Keith seems to realize it too, because his hand comes up to wipe it away. “Oh,” He murmurs, obviously surprised. More tears fall but he doesn’t wipe away the rest, still staring at his hand. “Oh.”

He aches to reach out and wipe them away but stops himself from doing so, unsure of how welcome the comfort would be. He licks his lips, keeping his voice low. “I mean it, Keith. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“But,” Keith exhales shakily, managing to meet his gaze. “How can you? After we learned that I’m part Galra? After what they did—” He breaks off and Shiro can see that he’s trembling. He looks distressed, eyes telling him that he’s desperate for an answer.

He gives in to his urge, reaching out to wipe the tears away. Shiro keeps his touch gentle, chest growing warm when Keith leans into it instantly. “I’m gonna say it again so it can sink in more.” He says, smiling. “The Galra blood you carry doesn’t make you like the ones we’re fighting, it doesn’t even matter to me. I love you for you, Keith. This won’t change that and nothing else will.” He leans forward, pressing his lips to Keith’s forehead. “You got that?”

He hears Keith laugh, and it makes him smile even more. “I got it.” He’s the one who pulls away first, dark eyes bright and still a bit wet. “Thank you, I really needed that.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” He murmurs, kissing his forehead again. “I’ll tell you that every day if you want, just so I can see you looking all happy like this.”

“You’re such a sap,” Keith mumbles, but he’s smiling so Shiro counts that as a win. “We have to go back to everyone, huh?”

“The sooner we get everything, the better.”

“Can we lay down for a bit?”

Shiro could never deny him. “Of course,” He pauses, hand brushing against the suit. “Do you want to talk this off?”

“Too tired,” Is the answer he gets, followed by a shy look. “Can you do it for me?”

He does, because he’s weak for Keith and can admit that freely. But also because he gets to see his pale skin, gets to press a kiss to the back of Keith’s neck and feel him shiver. He’s stopped from pulling it down all the way, Keith kicking it off as Shiro remembers to take off his own armor and suit.

The two of them lay down together, Shiro with his arms around Keith as Keith rests his head on Shiro’s chest. “We’re definitely going to nap, aren’t we?” Keith murmurs, already sounding half asleep. He doesn’t exactly help, running fingers through his hair to help him get there.

Shiro stifles a laugh. “I’d say you deserve a nap.” He smiles at Keith’s relieved sigh, kissing his head. “Sleep, I’ll be here.”

Keith falls asleep easily but Shiro doesn’t, choosing to stay awake so he can look at him. They have many things to do so they can take down Zarkon for good and as long as he has Keith by his side, he knows that they’ll be able to do it.

“I love you.” He whispers, smiling to himself. Keith shifts slightly, humming faintly as if he heard him.

If he can have this for the rest of their lives then he would be happy. Shiro didn’t get an answer for that ‘forever’ bit he said but he hopes that, maybe when it’s all over, he’ll get the chance to ask properly. He imagines doing it in the castle, all of their friends around them and looking happy for them. Maybe on peaceful planet where the two of them can settle down and start a family.

(He imagines Keith saying yes with a large smile on his face and can’t wait for the day to come.)

[peacefulheartfarm]

Why Does Cheese Melt?

Have you ever wondered, “Why does cheese melt”? Well, I’m going to talk about that today. What would we do without cheese that melts? Some are gooey. Others stretch forever. Pizza wouldn’t be pizza without stretchy cheese. And what about that oozing cheese on a grilled cheese sandwich? Ok, now I’m hungry.

As always, let me take a moment for new listeners. Welcome to the show and again, as always, welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I appreciate you all so much. I’m so excited to share with you what’s going on at the farm this week as well as some insight into why does cheese melt.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

Garden

Tomatoes

My tomatoes are coming in fast now. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them are out there on the vines. Twice I’ve picked tomatoes. I brought in a 5-gallon bucket full both times. On a day not very far in the future that might turn into two or three 5-gallon buckets at a time. A couple of the plants are in real trouble now and I for those I will likely have to pick all of the tomatoes even if they are still green. That’s only about three or four plants. There are fifty in the row. Lots of tomatoes left to ripen.

The tomato vines were enclosed in cages and which were tied up with baling twine tied to iron rebar driven into the ground every few feet. The weight of the tomatoes has taken down that half-hearted trellis. Well, it’s still there but leaning over quite sharply. Next year will require a modification. That’s the way of our homestead. You try something one year, see what works well and what didn’t. The next year, make improvements keeping the good and modifying the less than desirable.

Sunflowers

The sunflowers are blooming. I’m not sure when to cut them down. Before the birds go crazy for sure. But exactly when I don’t know yet. These sunflowers have been a great little fun project. Who would have thought I would enjoy them so much? I hope I get the hang of harvesting them. I’m looking forward to next year and another great growing season for sunflowers.

Onions

I had one entire bed of onions that I finally dug up. They can stay in the ground, but they can rot if it is wet. And after weeks of no rain, we are getting rain nearly every day. In fact, I can hear the thunder right now. Yet another afternoon thunderstorm is upon us.

Dried beans

I pulled up all of the black beans. The plants were completely dry. I pulled up each plant, stripped the dried bean pods off and moved on to the next one. It was the easiest way to pick them.

There is still a bed of red beans and one of white beans. Both of those have a lot of plants that are still somewhat green. I’m going to let them dry a bit more before I go in and pick all of those pods. It had been a great year for dried beans.

I picked many of the baby lima beans. We had a meal of the green ones a couple of nights ago. I love green baby lima beans. The rest of what I picked had already dried in the shell. Those will be shelled and stored for winter. There are a lot more still in the garden, still growing. In fact, they are still blooming. We will be having lima bean harvests for a while yet.

Peppers

The hot cherry peppers are really producing. I’ll be using them in another canned pickle pepper recipe. Some of them will be dried.

I have so many green peppers right now. Likely there are enough to fill the dehydrator – and it has nine shelves. And still more green peppers out in the garden. We are blessed with abundance there.  

Culinary Herbs

This is another area of abundance. I’m a little disappointed with the parsley, cilantro and rosemary. There is always next year. This year it’s the basil, oregano and thyme that are magical in their growth. The dehydrator will be getting many of those leaves as well.

Quail

I started up the incubator once again. This is the last time this year. The earliest I would collect eggs again would be the last week of September and I’m pretty sure that would be too late. I learned my lesson last year with 48 eggs in the incubator and only 8 hatching. Somewhere around mid-September the hens dramatically reduce the number of eggs they are laying. That’s due to the reduced hours of sunlight. The roosters become infertile around the same time.

It’s probably an evolutionary survival thing. No use wasting time and energy on raising more babies in the winter. Nope. That’s the time to try and keep yourself alive. It can be rough on birds, trying to forage through the snow. Birds need protein. All the bugs are gone. The frogs are hibernating. Worms have gone farther underground where it isn’t so cold. What’s a bird to eat?

Anyway, late September eggs will be few and infertile. I have 80 eggs in the incubator. We shall see in three weeks how it all comes out.  

Cows

I don’t really have much to say about the cows. All look healthy. Butter is even starting to look fat. It is an unusual sight for a Jersey. The one thing that I will mention is the mud around the pond.

These animals are big. In the summer they like to hang out in the pond. Literally, they stand in the water up to their belly. It’s cool and keeps those giant bot flies off of their belly. A few years back they got into the habit of coming out of the pond at the same location time and time again. The result was that the bank broke down and eventually the pond stretched all the way to the fence. Originally, there was a strip of land more than 6 feet wide. It’s all gone now. Years later, not only is the pond all the way to the fence but the rest of the pathway is churned into mud. It is churned into deep mud.

The Mud

I’m prepared for mud. I have some really great rubber boots that allow me to slog around just about anywhere. A couple of days ago I went out to bring in the girls for milking. Instead of finding them grazing in the pasture, they were still in the pond. I really didn’t want to have to go across that mud to get them moving toward the milking shed. I tried getting them to move from outside the fence. It just didn’t work. I had to bite the bullet and make my way across that mud to get them moving. And It’s not just one time. I had to follow them back across the mud.

Coming back, I was really, really careful. On the way over I sunk up in that mud so far that my boot was stuck. The mud was over a foot deep. When I tried to pull my boot out to make the next step, my foot came out and the boot stayed where it was. I put my foot back in the boot and wriggled and pulled until it got it loose. Now I’m in the middle of the mud pit. I take another step and the other boot is stuck fast in the mud. I repeated the procedure of wriggling while pulling to get that boot out as well. Thankfully, those two steps got me to more solid ground. I tried a different route on the way back and managed to only get one boot stuck.

The mud over that stretch of land is over a foot deep in places. Those 1,500-pound cows can create quite the muddy swamp. It’s a real mess. Just another task on the to do list to get that fixed.

Enough of that. Let’s talk cheese.

Why Does Cheese Melt?

There are two things that happen when cheese melts. First, at about 90 degrees, the solid milk fat in the cheese begins to liquefy. You will see the cheese softening. You might see beads of melted fat rising to the surface. Second, as the cheese get hotter, the bonds holding together the casein proteins break apart and the cheese melts into a thick fluid.

The complete melting happens at different temperatures for different cheeses. Mozzarella, which is a fresh (meaning not aged), soft, high-moisture cheese, will melt at about 130 degrees. For aged cheeses with much lower moisture such as cheddar and alpine cheeses like gruyere, the melting happens at about 150 degrees. For hard cheeses that are grated like parmesan, a temperature of 180 degrees is required to get the cheese to melt.

What Makes a Good Melting Cheese?

There are three things that determine the meltability of cheese. Moisture content, whether it is fresh or aged and for how long, and how it was curded. What was used to make the curd? Animal rennet or some type of acid.

Moisture Content

The higher the moisture, the more easily they flow. A moist cheese contains lot of water that is interspersed between the proteins. They readily liquify. A hard cheese contains much less water so when they melt, they don’t completely liquify. You can see this illustrated on a pizza with both Mozzarella and Parmigiano-Reggiano.

The Mozzarella is grated and sprinkled on the pizza. When heat is added, the Mozzarella melts into one pool of cheese. That’s the effect of moisture. On the other end of the scale, the parmesan is a very low moisture and very hard cheese. Using the smaller grater, it comes out finer. The grated pieces are much thinner and shorter. When melted, you can still see the individual strands of parmesan cheese.

Age

The age of the cheese can also be a factor. In a fresh cheese, such as Mozzarella, the casein protein molecules are large and stretchy. They tend to tangle up and form a rope. They get stringy. With an aged cheese, the casein molecules are acted upon by ripening enzymes which break the casein into smaller pieces. That keeps the molecules from tangling when they melt. The result is smooth, oozy melt. Or as in the case of parmesan, smooth, but not so much ooze.

Acidity

A cheese made by using acid to form the curd won’t melt at all. These cheeses include, Indiana paneer, Mexican queso blanco, Italian ricotta, Greek haloumi, most fresh goat cheeses, and most vegetarian cheeses.

Using animal rennet keeps the calcium to protein bond intact. Acid-curded cheese proteins are held together simply by the proteins binding to one another. The acid used to make the curd dissolved the calcium bond. When that acid cheese is heated, it does not melt. In fact, the protein bonds tighten, forcing out any water. The water evaporates. There isn’t enough moisture left to allow the cheese to liquify. Cheeses like queso blanco and paneer can be simmered or even fried without melting. Ricotta and fresh goat cheese retain their shape in the lasagna or manicotti.

Tips for Smooth Melted Cheese

Bring the Cheese to Room Temperature

A sudden temperature change can cause the protein to coagulate too quickly and squeeze out the fat. If that happens, the cheese will clump, have a greasy texture or both.

Grate It

Grating creates greater surface area. Heat can permeate more quickly. Large chunks with irregular shapes will melt at different rates. The outside can overcook and become clumpy or oily as above before the inside of the chunk reaches the temperature to flow.

Use Low Heat

Gradual temperature changes with a lower temperature will prevent the fat from separating out of the melting cheese. It is best to add cheese at the end of a cooking process. That way it can reach melting point but not exceed it. An example is sprinkling cheese on top just as you finish the dish. Another example that may seem counterintuitive but is not, is making the cheese sauce for mac and cheese.

The sauce is made by browning flour in butter for a couple of minutes and then adding milk to make a thick sauce. That sauce is removed from the heat before adding the cheese. As the sauce is cooling the cheese is melting. Remember it only needs 150 degrees. Lastly, the cheese and sauce mixture is stirred into your choice of pasta. Though cooled somewhat, it is still hot enough to spread evenly through the dish. Add some parmesan on top, pop it into the oven to heat it through and brown the parmesan. Voila! The best mac and cheese ever.

Add Acid

This works when making fondues, sauces, and soups. You can use white wine or lemon juice. The added acid will bind to the calcium in the melted cheese keeping it separate from the proteins so they cannot clump together. The liquids of wine and lemon add water to dilute the proteins and keep them flowing. Smooth, smooth, smooth.

Add Starch

As in the mac and cheese example, flour or even cornstarch guards against clumping and stringiness. The starch coats the proteins and fats in the melted cheese. That keeps the proteins from clumping and the fats from separating out. Starch always makes a fine glue to hold things together.

Stir Gently

You will get there in time. Don’t try to rush it. Overstirring encourages the proteins to clumps. You don’t want it to become clumpy or stringy.

Serve Hot

Melted cheese is much more likely clump as it cools.  

Use the Proper Cheese

For smooth melted cheese use a well-aged cheddar or high-moisture cream cheese. Save the Mozzarella for pizza.

Final Thoughts

That’s it for today’s podcast. Are you hungry now? I have a recipe on the website for that fabulous mac and cheese I talked about. Go to www.peacefulheartfarm.com and click or tap “recipes” on the menu. And I’ll put a link in the show notes. All of my recipes are printable.

Did you get the answer to the question of, “Why does cheese melt?” I hope so. Feel free to contact me if you have questions and I will answer to the best of my ability. It’s always good to hear from you. It makes my day.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. Also, please share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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Check out this episode!

[celtfather]

Amazing Celtic Women #429

Amazing Celtic women are on this week’s Irish & Celtic Music Podcast

Beth Patterson, Cady Finlayson, Catherine Koehler, Na Skylark, Judith Weikle, Anne Roos, Gwendolyn Snowdon, Kathy Barwick, Fionnuala Sherry, Merry Wives of Windsor, Christine Weir, Joni Minstrel, Mary Knickle, Cynthia Bennett, Jacie McConnell, Laura McGhee, Chrissy Crowley, Bernadette Morris

I hope you enjoyed this week's show. If you did, please share the show with ONE friend.

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is dedicated to growing our community and helping the incredible artists who so generously share their music. If you find music you love, buy their albums, shirts, and songbooks, follow them on Spotify, see their shows, and drop them an email to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast.

Remember also to Subscribe to the Celtic Music Magazine. Every week, I'll send you a few cool bits of Celtic music news. It's a quick and easy way to plug yourself into more great Celtic culture. Plus, you'll get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free, just for signing up today. Thank you again for being a Celt of Kindness.

THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:05 - "Heather on the Moor" by Beth Patterson from Hybrid Vigor

4:23 - "When the Battle Is Over" by Cady Finlayson from Celtic Purple

6:30 - "Briar and Rose" by Catherine Koehler from upcoming album

9:37 - "The March Of The High King Of Laois-Osullivans March" by Na Skylark from Old Ceol

13:50 - "Wine of the Gauls" by Judith Weikle from Pirates, Poets and Patriots

16:57 - “Manx Courting Song” by Anne Roos from Haste to the Wedding

19:33 - CELTIC FEEDBACK

24:17 - "Little Duke Arthur's Nurse" by Gwendolyn Snowdon from Three Strand Braid

28:17 - "Red Haired Boy" by Kathy Barwick from In My Life

30:38 - "An Cuilfhionn" by Fionnuala Sherry from Songs from Before

33:56 - "Lannigan's Ball" by Merry Wives of Windsor from Bottoms Up

37:28 - "Horo Haradala" by Christine Weir from Weir Celts

39:15 - "Black Is the Color" by Joni Minstrel from Joni Minstrel Kicks the King

42:02 - CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

44:39 - "Wild Irish Man" by Mary Knickle from Weave

48:24 - "Out with the Rubbish" by Cynthia Bennett from Cauldron of Life

52:04 - "My Piece of Gratitude Re-Mix" by Jacie McConnell from Mystical Moments A Sign Of Things To Come

56:01 - "Tell It Tae the Love" by Laura McGhee from Green Eyes

58:46 - "Trundle's" by Chrissy Crowley from Last Night's Fun

1:03:20 - TIME FOR PARTING

1:04:25 - "Until We Meet Again" by Bernadette Morris from Where the Heart Is

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts or to our website where you can become a Patron of the Podcast for as little as $1 per episode. Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

  CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. My name is Marc Gunn. I am a Celtic musician and podcaster. This show is dedicated to the indie Celtic musicians. I want to ask you to support these artists. Share the show with your friends. And find more episodes at celticmusicpodcast.com. You can also support this podcast on Patreon. Get our free Celtic music app right here.

TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through its culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos. Join the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 With the new year comes a new votes in the Celtic Top 20. This is our way of finding the best songs and artists each year. Just list the show number, and the name of as many bands in the episode as you like. Your vote helps me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2019 episode.  Vote Now!

THANK YOU PATRONS OF THE PODCAST! Because of Your kind and generous support, this show comes out every week and has done so since 2014. You can pledge a dollar or more per episode and cap how much you want to spend each month over on Patreon.

Your generosity funds the creation, promotion and production of the show. It allows us to attract new listeners and to help our community grow. Plus, you get to hear episodes before regular listeners. When we hit a milestone, you get an extra-long episode. We are super close to getting a two-hour instrumental special.

Thanks to our newest patrons: Barbara B S., Julie M.

You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast at http://patreon.com/celticpodcast.

  I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK

What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? You can send a written comment along with a picture of what you're doing while listening. Email a voicemail message to celticpodcast@gmail.com

Jacob Kenner emailed a photo: "Marc, I was listening to #427 while cleaning up the donkey pen when you asked us to share what we do while listening. I realized I almost always save the podcast for when I have a farm chore or a building project. I think it helps me relax and keep going.

This is Violet (left) and Franklin (right), rescued donkeys we have in north central Washington State in the Okanogan highlands. Thanks for letting me share Celtic music with my donkey friends."

Bryan MacAvoy emailed: "I was teleworking, recovering from ACL surgery, and listening to the pod (from 9/12), and practically dropped my laptop on the floor and re-injured myself jumping to see what that sound was: BassPipes, Orchestral Pipestep, that’s what. LOVE IT.

I quickly went over to Amazon music to find what they had there (a few more), and am listening. I would not have thought myself a fan of Celtic Trad/ Dubstep Fusion, but here we are!

Would love an episode dedicated to Gaelic Trad sounds in modern dance/ hip hop/ pop. I know that’s a tight niche, but if anyone is up to it, it’s you!"

Beth Hlabse emailed photos: “Hi, Marc,I just wanted to drop you a line to thank you for another wonderful podcast (412). Thanks to you, I discovered Heather Dale and I was very happy to hear her once again on you ‘cast.

I’ve attached some photos of what I do while listening to the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast. I’ve been cross-stitching since I was 12 (more years ago than I want to say) and I’ve found that listening to your podcast has kept me going on my more difficult projects. Keep up the good work and much joy, peace and happiness in your new home!"

   Aaron Adair emailed: "Hi, Marc--I've been a LONG time listener and recent supporter through Patreon and have loved the music you've played over the years. It has made me yearn for my home country although until now I've never been. Thanks to you and your terrific podcast, I'm currently waiting to take off for Dublin, Adare, Galway, and points in between for my very first trip home. Listening to the Ramblin' Irishman episode is the perfect episode to prepare me for my adventure.

Thanks for all you do to encourage, educate, and support artists and listeners about the greatness of Celtic music. Blessings to you and your family. "

Robyn emailed: "Hi Marc, I, of course, love your podcast. Recently the love of my life, my husband, died. And I wanted to share with you how we listened to your podcast. I would come home from work and my dogs (3) and my husband would jump in the car and we'd go for a ride. It was a time with no phone, no distractions, just connecting with each other and see how each other's day went.

Often we'd be listening to your podcast, singing along or just enjoying the music. Okay so not so unusual - one of our favorites is Loch Lomand. And now that he's gone ughhh brings me to tears each time I hear it but I can't stop playing it. I had missed some podcasts due to his illness, but when I listened to #407 oh my. Sobbing in my car, and remembering loving, great times. Thank-you for adding to the connection to life and love you have brought me. And now I have become a patron in honor of my husband, John. Slainte."

  #celticwomen #irishmusic #celticmusic

Check out this episode!

[renlyisright]

Season 6 Episode 8: Assassins Bleed

Pieces are moving towards the last two episodes of the season. A bit of a retrospective: I don’t know if it can be said by reading these posts, but in hindsight the least exciting times in the show were in the midpoint (3-7?) episodes of the third season and also somewhere around there in the fifth season too. The slowness of the third season can be explained with most main characters having little to do (Tyrion wasn’t a Hand anymore, Davos was locked up, Sansa continued being a captive, Arya, Jaime, too… now that I think about it these people spend a lot of time as each other’s captives. Anyway, that was the time when many people’s motives and dealings were still kept secret (like Varys, Littlefinger, what was Tywin planning and so on), so in hindsight having the not-point of view characters running the show made the point-of-view ones passive (especially in King’s Landing).

Then the fifth season, coming up after the climax-filled fourth season, had most of those motives clear as a day, and while there was the excitement of “what now”, that mellowed a couple of episodes in, and a lot of the season was set-up, with for example Stannis’ battle of Winterfell serving as a warm-up for Sansa’s and Jon’s try.

Now these seasons five and six feel like one book in two seasons. The climaxes are in this season. It’s like the seasons three and four, except that I know that by the end of the sixth season the show has long passed the books and has changed a lot. For example, Stannis is not dead in the books.

To which I say “Ha! Maybe he should be!” Sure, people can say that he is a much more three-dimensional character in the books and it’s a pity how the show dealt with him, to which I say that sorry, I can’t hear you all the way here to my blog named Renly Is Right.

Back to the regularly scheduled program: Arya currently has only one acquaintance in Braavos that doesn’t want her dead, so she goes to her. The actress is still playing Cersei and getting applauses. Following Arya’s tip she has added a revenge speech in the end. It’s still much more eloquent than Cersei’s actual speech at the time but art is art. As Cersei she announces revenge on those who have wronged her, Sansa and Tyrion.

The real Cersei in King’s Landing hasn’t achieved those revenges yet. Actually, she hasn’t achieved much of anything lately, if locking up Margaery and Loras doesn’t count. But I feel like she is finally getting to do something. At least she is so done that she picks a fight with the Sparrows.

The Mountain kills one of them as an example, but of course the High Sparrow is one step ahead. After these two seasons, I’m ready to see a time when he is not. He has run the show long enough. If Cersei manages to fix a problem of her own creation she would get some points.

Sidenote that Pycelle is still where he has always been, whispering to the king. One true constant.

I do like that the High Sparrow is both an outsider to the court and poor, and has been able to get the poors’ point of view into the high and noble’s court politics. When people like Cersei or Olenna speak of the people they rule, they make it clear why the High Sparrow is able to get so much traction from the people. Nobody really cares about them. A couple of months more and they would gladly storm the Red Keep if the High Sparrow asked for it. But I don’t enjoy watching people being tortured, no matter who they are, and so the whole imprison-starve-and-humiliate-people-for-many-many-episodes routine he’s been doing hasn’t been much fun. I’m ready to move on to something else.

Speaking of moving on to something else, the Sons of Harpy business on Meereen seems to finally be over, thanks to some religious preaching. What is the lesson here? If you are a ruler, make sure that religion is on your side. Varys is not that positive, he must have heard news from King’s Landing of how pacts with fanatics could end. I may not like the Lord of Light, like, at all, but his supporters are solid enough folk. Melisandre should learn to say “no”, though. Except that that would likely kill her, considering her age.

One of the Lord of Light’s priests is Thoros of Myr, whom we finally see again. Next to him is his life supported leader of the Brotherhood, Beric Dondarrion. Beric doesn’t seem to have lost any more parts since we last saw him, and they were hunting the same people the Hound was, the ones who attacked the settlement. So the Brotherhood on the whole has not turned into brigands, and Beric wants to keep their brand good.

He also seems to want to go North. Cold winds are rising there. More talk of how the Lord of Light wants these people alive for some reason. He also wants the Hound there. The word “chosen” isn’t mentioned, but “for some reason” is many times.

...Don’t tell me that the Lord of Light sent those Brotherhood men to kill the settlers just so the Hound would come back to civilization. “The night is dark and full of terrors”, they said. That would beat even what he did to the Baratheons (I have mentioned a lot of how he was a dick to Stannis but it was Shireen who was burned to death). What next, he’ll kill the firstborns of King’s Landing to get the king to listen?

Varys leaves Meereen. :( Hopefully not for long. He says he has important business to do. Getting a fleet? Two are coming on this direction, one of them Yara and Theon’s lot, the other the slave lords, so they are fine on that part.

Especially as Daenerys is back, with Drogon. The dragon could quickly burn all the ships, with a bit of a restraint they can have few to sail with. Westeros is so close aaah. The answer to my “will she leave the Slaver’s bay in very good or very bad position” might actually be “very good”. Or not. While I think that this plotline has gone on for long enough, I don’t wish to abandon these people to be fought over by more masters after Daenerys leaves.

The siege of Riverrun is over just as quickly as it started. But it lasted long enough for Brienne and Pod to pay a visit. Some nice reunions, but politics make sure almost nobody gets what they want here. Brienne wanted the Tully army for Sansa, she didn’t get it. Blackfish wanted his home back and/or die gloriously in battle, he didn’t get it. Edmure… well Edmure wanted to survive, that happened, at least for now. He may be allowed to rule Riverrun as Frey’s bannerman, but more likely one of the Freys get it, like apparently happened before Blackfish’s rebellion. There’s enough Freys to hold every castle in Riverlands.

Jaime gets exactly what he wants. Quick end to the siege, everybody home before winter, he gets back to Cersei. His speech to Edmure was chilling, and I don’t doubt that he was completely serious. “The things we do for love”, good grief. He and Cersei are still very messed up, but after all that “I don’t care of anybody except Cersei”, he lets Brienne get away, to help Sansa whom Cersei wants dead.

A word about Edmure Tully. Before he was seen in the show, I had read about him in the first two books. For some reason I imagined him with glasses, and a bit nerdy. I have no idea where that came from, but I have a somewhat cartoony imagination when I read. But at least I can be a proper book-first-reader in this case and say that the show version of the character is nowhere close to how I imagined him.

Arya is stitched back together. Apparently the main characters have some defenses from wounds that would kill any other. It was several stabs to the stomach. I don’t remember any other wounds as grievous as this one which would allow the wounded to do what Arya does later in this episode. Ned used the walking stick to the end after his leg was hurt, the Hound didn’t have pleasant weeks after fighting Brienne, Jaime lost his hand and spent the next episode almost dying, and the Mountain is more machine than man.

But the actress is apparently good at stitching people up. She has hurt the other actress who called the Faceless Men on her. That was not enough, as the name had already been promised and the Faceless can’t just change it to a different name like a man did back in Harrenhal. So the girl finds them and kills the actress.

And then it’s on. Some Assassin’s Creed track playing on the background and I’m right at home.

Now I want Assassin’s Creed: Braavos. And I haven’t yet got Total War: Westeros. Or speaking of dream games, Assassin’s Creed: Gondor Civil War. That has been my wish ever since I heard that there was going to be AC-style game in Middle-Earth (then it turned out to be Shadows of Mordor, which was fun, but come on, think of climbing Minas Tirith!)

Anyway, Arya is running for her life. She sneaks through a sauna. Braavos has saunas? I like this place more now. And she’s back in her hiding place, with Needle. But what chances does she have, with already bleeding wounds? She was smacked around by her every time they fought before-

She puts out the light, and they are both in darkness. Clever girl. Have some of your own medicine, girl with no name.

I like it when people win by being clever. On the other hand, I also like it when people who are too clever for their own good (Oberyn, and hopefully Littlefinger soon) get theirs. As in everything, a healthy mix is good.

Interesting that both fights to the death (Blackfish and the girl) were not shown, but in Blackfish’s case he was only in four, five episodes total and did not “deserve” a big last stand like for example Barristan did. Besides, Riverrun had already surrendered, Blackfish killing regular Lannister soldiers just for his own ego wouldn’t have been enjoyable to watch.

And in this case any sounds that followed the light going out would have ruined the moment. Better this way. Arya confronts the Faceless Man and says that she is going home. She doesn’t kill the man even though she must know that he was the one who gave the order. Maybe what she learnt here was that she does not have to kill everybody who has wronged her.

But yes, come back home, Arya Stark of Winterfell, so I can continue asking “Will she meet Nymeria again now? Or now? What about now?”

Goodbye to the Faceless Man for now, but now I remembered my fan theory that Syrio Forel (Arya’s swordmaster from Braavos), and Jaqon H’ghar from Harrenhal are the same, as in they are both this Faceless Man’s faces. There hasn’t been any confirmation of that, so I think that theory is dead.

Ooor is it? Or has it just... changed it face?