#listenasneeded

[a-forger-and-a-point-man]

there is one thing i would urge people to do as we cross into a new year.

much of 2016 sucked because of silent bystanders.

people who didn’t write to their congressional rep about particular causes, people who were frustrated and stayed home instead of going to vote, people who didn’t bother doing research or fact-checking sources, people who witnessed hate crimes or sexual harassment in public but were too afraid to act... i could go on and on.

at the time, under the circumstances, i know it’s incredibly hard to do something. 

but please, push yourself just a little bit and do what you can. otherwise it will be too late. even if your efforts don’t pay off, at least you took action and you can sleep at night and look back on this 30 years from now and know you didn’t hide. 

but we’re on tumblr, so let’s talk about how we can do this in fandom.

a) encourage fellow fans. do not sideline them. whether they write or draw or just exist in fandom, be supportive and remember why we are all here. if you lost interest in a blog, unfollow it, but do not insult or deliberately ignore that person.

b) if something in fandom really bothers you, log off and take a break first. revisit the issue later - ideally after you’ve slept on it. i’m not good at this myself but i want to be better at it. when you do post, and vent, as you have every right to on your blog, do not point fingers at fellow fans, do not tag urls, do not shit all over someone directly. you look like an idiot and nobody will respect you.

c) that said, if people have harassed you or indicated they will harass you or have harassed your friends, block them. i use the block function liberally because i know what it’s like to be bullied pretty badly on tumblr. if a blog hints at instability or anger and that person acts in a cruel manner toward me or a friend of mine, i block them. out of sight, out of mind. i wish all those people a good life and i am, in fact, always open to a civil discussion should they seek it. people can change.

d) which brings us to the silent bystander issue: do NOT scroll past assholes on your dash like it’s nothing. i’m not talking about you being a social justice warrior. i’m talking about a fellow fan receiving hateful messages, or two fans having a vicious back and forth argument, or anything of that sort. you need to be mature and you need to step in. i loathe hearing people say “i’m staying out of the drama” because that makes it sound like it’s a petty issue that’s beneath you, when actually people are getting hurt, and next week, it might be you that’s involved in something similar. who’s going to step in and be the voice of reason? don’t be the jerk that does nothing. if it happened on your dash, and there are mutuals involved, and you saw it, you need to act. 

e) check on mutuals privately or publicly, whatever you like. assess the situation. obtain context. don’t be afraid to say that X was wrong and Y is owed an apology. why are you afraid? because you’ll lose followers? followers are like snowflakes. so wonderful when they first appear and you admire them and are grateful for them then poof! they melt into something not so pretty and eventually disappear. 

f) if you find you have barriers to social interaction, remember you can still at least message someone to say “i just want you to know i got your back.”