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emmyrosee · 2 years ago

Note

are u down 4 sum lil angst?? well, i'm just curious how would it be being the famous star volleyball player, Sakusa Kiyoomi's TOTGA?

YOU HAD N O RIGHT MATE

ok so fun emmy history, back when I was a wee child and before the miya twins were even a thing, i wrote a self insert that I’m still weirdly proud of today so congratulations, you scratched that memory HHEISBSOSN-

Hey! Future Emmy here. so... major tw; kiyoomi is very mean, extremely toxic, and i for sure went overboard, but there's a lot of blaming and yelling and just. ugh. this piece hurt my own heart smh.

But listen. You slipped into Sakusa Kiyoomi’s life surprisingly. He wasn’t expecting you or even just to date at all, you were just at the right places in the right times where he finally felt at ease in your presence. You just understood who he was beyond surface level, and he’d never had that in someone before.

You loved him before he was cool, before he was anyone other than a top ace in Japan. You were the first to tell him it was okay to mess up, do something other than eat drink and sleep volleyball, even if he wants it to take up most of his time.

Time, he no longer has, when he gets injured.

It wasn't like it was an inopportune time- though, as a college athlete, there really is no good time to get injured- if anything, it was spontaneous and had he not had dreams of making it big, he'd never think twice of it.

But he gets injured. Junior year of college, just as his name starts to grow in the industry, and he gets injured. Bad ankle, it’s actually a former injury from his childhood that apparently didn’t heal right.

There’s articles that spread about Bokuto Koutarou, how he’s climbing the ranks and how Miya Atsumu, the same little rat who bothered him in high school received an offer from god knows what team, and he’s fuming.

That should be him and his setter getting those offers and climbing that ladder, it’s been him and him alone for years, and he knows it's bitter to hate people for their successes, but its not fucking fair, he deserves more than this.

He deserves more than doctors trying to encourage surgery to heal at the sacrifice of volleyball, he deserves more than flowers and cards of best wishes, more than Miya Atsumu texting him to see if he's okay, he deserves more than any being on earth could give him.

And that includes you.

"Baby, did you finally call the surgeon?" You ask, coming in with a water bottle and a cup of his meds.

Apparently, that's more than enough to set him off.

"I don't need surgery."

He hears you sigh, "the doctor says the tear is too big just for physical therapy, you'll need the extra support-"

"In case you forgot, I was fucking there."

His breath becomes hot, and he can't peel his eyes from the commercials playing on the tv. The room suddenly feels suffocating, and of he could will himself to do it, he'd apologize and tell you he loves you, he's just tense and hurt, and he's grateful you're here, and-

"I'm the one who's life is going down the tubes. Fun fact."

The other thoughts in his mind are static. merely an incoherent buzz. You're his victim now, to his ugliest sides that therapy and his family prodded back years ago.

There's no one to prod it back now.

"I... I didn't mean any harm, I promise-"

"You really shouldn't talk to me right now," he snarls, rage bubbling and clawing away at his soul. There's a bubbling of tears that rip at his waterline in a demand to fall, but he's blinded to anything else.

He hates his life. He hates his ankle. He hates his doctors for telling him it may not heal right ever.

He hates you.

"Kiyoomi, please-"

He bears his teeth like a dog in an attack, and you flinch back slightly. "If you hadn't fucking distracted me, this never would've happened." He hears you whine in your throat.

he ignores it.

"I was fine," he barks. "I was happy before you. I was strong, I was powerful, I was a damned force to be reckoned with." He crawls closer to you on the couch, and when you cower to try and get away, he chases your body with his torso.

When you stand up, he does too. His leg lights every single nerve up in a blaze of agony, but he's too gone in his own rage to think about it.

"I... I know you're mad, but please, sit down Kiyoomi-"

You're right.

"Shut the hell up!"

Even on one foot, he towers over you threateningly. You bring your hands up to try and force distance between you both; your touch does ground him slightly, but not enough to stop his scorn.

You sniffle softly, clearly uncomfortable, "you're just mad... and that's okay. Please stop shouting at me, we can make this work, kiyoomi."

Now, his eyes are scalding with furious tears.

"I want this to work, oomi... please, stop shouting-"

“It doesn’t matter if you want it to work,” he snaps. “I’ve got a plan to stick to that’s already been screwed because of us, AND IT'S YOUR GODDAMNED FAULT!"

When you sob and crumple to your feet, there’s a small part of kiyoomi that comes to, the words suddenly sour on his tongue. He feels… confused, he doesn’t know where it came from inside of him, but the way your eyes water from his words snaps him back to reality.

“I’m… im ruining your plan?” You choke, and god kiyoomi wants the floor to engulf him whole. Because duh, of course now you’re not he’s just the scum of the earth, you’re all he can think of wanting in this shitty life, but he can’t say that, not when your hands cover your mouth in distress and horror, tears slipping over your fingers. He feels the blood leave his face when you take a step back, followed by another, then one as you turn on your heel to leave.

“Wait-“

“No, Kiyoomi,” you snap, and its his turn to feel your rage, your head whipping to look at him in betrayal. “No. I’m officially done waiting for you.”

And despite the fact that he wants to chase you, wants to gather you in his arms and pin you to the wall and demand you listen to him, listen to why his plan has changed and how you’ve completely ruined all of it in the best ways, he can’t. His leg throbs at the mere idea.

He just. Stands there, frozen for god knows how long, staring at the long slammed door, wondering if you’d come back for something you’d forgot in your exit. Something dumb, like a charger or a water bottle, something easily replaceable but you wanted from him just as a last chance makeup.

But you don’t. And once his good leg starts to cramp from standing there, he slowly moves his way to his bedroom.

And he’s fine. Honest!

Sitting by himself in the cold of night gives him more time to think about the future. The one without you, of course. Limping around the dorm on crutches makes his arms ache and knees weak, and the backpack on his shoulders making him fall forwards is plenty to make his elbows strengthen up (they’re withering away) and his breathing circulate (he’s breathing back tears of pain and frustration.)

He can’t… he can’t do this without you.

Call him selfish, but his life was not only easier with you around, it was better, it was fun to love you and have you scream his name from the stands, but now that seat is occupied by someone else when it should be yours and yours alone.

He’s tried to get over it. He’s tried to get everything in line, get you the hell out of his mind but he can’t.

You’re different. He hates you for it. There’s something about you that refused to leave his mind and soul. Every time someone is interested in him, he feels disgusted because every crush is based on appearances now; it never was with you. Every time someone laughs, his first thought is how much he misses yours. When one of those stupid fast food commercials comes on in the late hours of night, he smiles sadly as he remembers the way your eyes would meet his and you’d beg him for some fries at ungodly hours.

He has to move on. It’s been fucking years. Why hasn’t he moved on?

Any sane person by now would have moved on, passed through his heartbreak and try to find another, but he’s so emotionally unavailable at this point. Every thought and every reminder that plagues him continues to hit like a ton of bricks every time.

Maybe it's guilt.

No, its definitely guilt.

He loved you, more than you could imagine, he appreciated you more than he can express, and to show you how much you mean to him, he blamed you for his failures.

No wonder he deserves to be alone.

And just when his exhaustion can't grow, his self destruction and crumbling self worth can't get lower, he gets thrown in another circle of hell that he seems to find himself in; this time, in a coffee shop he frequents. Not too many familiar faces, just a couple blocks from the train, and up until that point, only having known him as an alias.

Until today, when the Gods decide to torture him a bit more.

“Name?”

“Sakusa,” he says, not even thinking as he scrolls on his phone. There’s a high pitched gasp from the girl, and it makes his eye twitch.

“NO WAY!!! Oh my gosh, you’re THE sakusa kiyoomi?! Oh my gosh, wait, hold on- can I get a picture? No, wait, you’re not into those- can I get an autograph? I knew you looked familiar, my sister and I watch you play all the time! I’m such a fan!-“

“Uh… thanks. Can I have my tea-“

The girl doesn’t answer, instead, she calls for her co-worker who barrels out in equal excitement.

On any normal day, kiyoomi would snap. He’d scold and snarl about how rude they were, how he’s still a fucking person who just so happens to be good at volleyball, but he’s like a deer in headlights. He’s too surprised at his own stupidity of not using his usual alias, how damn tired is he?

There’s a weight that feels like a ton of bricks that settles on his chest once he hears the line behind him complaining about how long it’s taking, then people behind the register flashing pictures that have him blinded and asking him questions he doesn’t want to answer, he just wants his tea for God’s sake and-

“HEY!” There’s a snap from someone at a table, and it breaks up the small, impromptu paparazzi at the front. “People are trying to work here, and not get a damn seizure from your damn pictures!” He feels all that anxiety break on his shoulders once they cower away. “And shame on you all!” They continue, the line slowly parting to let them continue shouting. “He may be famous but he’s still a damn person! Make the fucking drink and GO!”

Kiyoomi doesn’t want to look. Even if he’s eternally grateful for them, he knows that scold and he knows that bravery to call out random people for their shiftiness.

Because it’s the same thing you used to do all those years ago.

He winced and pulls the mask higher on his nose to keep himself concealed- as if he’s not a 190.5 cm monster. But you don’t say anything about anything that just happened, you must be deep in your work to not process just exactly who you were defending.

He gets his tea with a quick apology from the baristas, and he heads to the door to leave.

….

…right?

He’s gone. He’s on the bus, headphones in and heading to practice, audiobook putting him in a new world where his only current connection is the hot tea in his hands.

Right?

There’s always been a table on the bus, a table he rudely stalks up to, where you’re sitting and typing away furiously at your laptop and massaging one of your temples, too engrossed in your work to notice the outside hitter standing just in front of you.

“Uh…” he chews his lip nervously. You don’t look up.

This is the chance Komori’s been talking about. If he doesn’t take it, he’s going to hate himself forever.

“Thank you for standing up for me back there.”

“You’re welcome.”

He sighs staggered, “can I… uhm… repay the favor?”

To his extreme relief, you offer him a small chuckle, “maybe you can recommend a coffee shop where random cele…” your voice drifts off when you look up at him, jaw frozen open and eyes wide and dancing all over his face. You’re both just staring at each other, breathing ragged and tense, and his brows furrowing to try and hide the guilt and absolute need he has for you to continue the conversation.

You clear your throat, “your uhm… your foot healed uh… well.”

He wants to, but can’t, fight the snort that sneaks past his lips because that’s about the last thing he thought you’d say. But he sees you crack a smile too, and it’s worth it.

“Yeah,” he says after he clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m playing professionally now. Minor aches here and there, but nothing unusual.”

“So you got to stick with your plan,” you hum sadly, and his heart stops. “That’s wonderful, Sakusa. Im glad to hear it-“

“But my plan never felt complete,” he interrupts, and he sees your nostrils flare in annoyance. “I-I-I thought I knew what I wanted, but god, I didn’t. I don’t, I’ve always only wanted you.”

You offer him a shrug, “Kiyoomi, I was an intruder in your life; I can’t blame you for that, I shouldn’t have been there-“

“I wanted you there.”

“Clearly you didn’t,” you snip, and finally, he sighs in defeat. “You made it just fine without me in your plan.”

Fuck it.

If he’s here, he’s gonna lay all his cards, give you every last thought of his and leave you one more time to pick up your shattered pieces.

“I miss you.”

You freeze, but there’s a glazing of your waterline before you slowly, tensely, turn up to look at him.

“Don’t,” you snap. “Don’t do this, Sakusa.”

“I can’t help it,” he says, own voice twinging raw. "I hate it too. I hate that I've had to carry this weight with me for all these years, years I should've been with you, kept you safe and happy, and I couldn't even do that."

"You shattered what we had. Don't ever forget that."

"I never have been able to."

There's another silence surrounding you both, suffocating and hot and thick, and he gets flashbacks of a scenario not too dissimilar, where you're looking up at him with those same, betrayed eyes.

But your gaze doesn't last. It crumbles before you let out the breath you'd been holding, a sign that you're not going to waste your energy on him anymore, "you're too late, Kiyoomi. You don't get to miss me anymore."

When your hands shift to close your laptop, he sees it. The massive, heavy rock on your finger, glimmering under the soft lights of the coffee shop.

Kiyoomi feels sick. He could faint right now if his pride would let him. Instead, he swallows the bile in his throat and grits his teeth, giving you a smile and a casual scratch of the back of his head, "that's... that's awesome! I'm happy for you."

"Don't be," you smile sadly.

"Why?"

You shurg, "you don’t have to be happy for me. I’m happy for me. He's a friend of Bokuto-San's. Set us up not long after we broke up." Then, you sigh shakily, "I'm just here for work, I won't taint your coffee shops for much longer." It was an attempt to break up the heavy silence.

He could puke right now if he didn't feel completely defeated. He could strangle Bokuto in devastation.

In his younger, naïve efforts to drive you away, he drove you straight to someone else's arms.

He nods and chokes out a small "alright," before spinning on his heel away from you

He makes move to leave the coffee shop, but before he does, but before he can, he turns back to face you, trying to get one final look at you, soaking in your presence and soul before you vanish from his life forever. He calls your name, and you look at him one more time with that big, beautiful gaze.

"Do you believe in the one that got away?" he asks, and you process his answer before slipping your computer in your bag.

"Yeah. And I believe I'm yours- but you were too worried about losing volleyball. Now, I guess we all got what we wanted."

His veins turn icy as he tries to blink back the hot tears searing his waterline, turning his head to dodge your knowing eyes.

Everyone got what they wanted.

Except for his broken heart, of course.

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goeticedda · 2 months ago

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@ GOETICEDDA ;; ars goetia --

independent and selective STOLAS from HELLUVA BOSS unaffilated with vivienne medrano BLOGROLL . DOSSIER . HEADCANON . MUSINGS . MEMES . OPEN

rules --

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered IC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

You should not be trying to control my characters, insta-kill them, or otherwise direct how I write my character. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, but PLEASE, if you only have negative things to say to me, don’t say them at all. Any anonymous hate to me will be ignored and deleted.

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

I am willing to roleplay violent and other similar themes because of the genre of the original content. However, I’d like to officially say that I will NOT roleplay any NSFW themes such as smut or overly sexual roleplays with anyone under 18 years of age. Both my muse and I are 21+. I am also selective as to whom I rp sexual themes with – though chances are, if we have a ship, you’re automatically on my OK-list.

3. communication

Please, if you have anything you want to talk to me about, I am here to listen. Criticism and plotting or whatever have you, I am fine with talking! I’m only semi-selective because my muses can be really finicky, so I’m sorry in advance! ADDENDUM - Please do not vague me if I have upset you. If I have blocked you or moved away from you in some way, and you would like to reach out, you can! I won't deny you an explanation if you ask. But please be mindful that I can and will block/soft block if I feel like I need to.

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

no weird age gaps ( adult mortal x immortal is fine )

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships kid/teen muses

no age-ups JUST to hard-ship

cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc. - to clarify i mean like a family friend or something that's been a friend of the family since x person was young )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

I really don’t bite, and if I do, its on accident. Do you need me to reply to a thread? Ask me to! Do you want to start a ship with me? Go ahead and ask! Do you want to do some crazy plot with all sorts of ins and outs and too many sub-plots to count? Fire away! I am a very amicable person, so please don’t be afraid to call me a friend! I am however, more often than not too afraid to talk to you first, so don’t be afraid to approach me! Seriously!

#pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

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orfiadh · 2 months ago

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@ ORFIADH ;; the golden deer -- a private selective and independent CLAUDE VON REIGAN from FIRE EMBLEM follows back from rowanberryhub

blogroll . dossier . meme . open . verses . link rules below the cut --

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

communication

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

- no weird age gaps ( adult mortal x immortal is fine )

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships kid/teen muses/verses

no age-ups JUST to hard-ship

cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

#* pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

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alchemistflare · 2 months ago

Text

@ ALCHEMISTFLARE ;; the flame alchemist -- a private selective and independent ROY MUSTANG from FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST follows back from rowanberryhub

blogroll . dossier . meme . open . verses . link

rules below the cut --

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

communication

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

- no weird age gaps ( adult mortal x immortal is fine )

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships kid/teen muses

no age-ups JUST to hard-ship

cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

#* pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

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necroromantics · 5 months ago

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Tobin dynamic with other Creepypastas.... and also Tali :3333

OK LMAO Here is my toxic confession.

So way back when I first started developing Ticci Toby for my AU I literally just projecting myself onto him so bad. And then. I projected people I knew IRL onto the other characters.

Like I write Clockwork based on my gf, I write Eyeless Jack, Brian, and Tim based on some friends I had in high school, I write Nina and Kate based on people I knew/know too. It switches around a bit who I base certain characters on (like Nina and Kate and characters Ive developed less) but the general rule of thumb is that I heavily project my IRL shit onto what I write for the Creepypastas, with fiction and source material in there obviously cuz theyre still just characters

BUT THEN. I ended up making Tobin. A self insert. And my gf made Tali. A self insert. (Once again with fiction shit mixed in for storytelling purposes) but then it created a dilemma for me cuz both Toby and Tobin were characters I projected onto. They were both an extension of me in a way.

And so when it comes to writing shit like Tobins interactions with the canon Creeps, it always ends up being how Id write Toby with those characters.

Tobin would be close friends with EJ cuz I base EJ off my best friend in HS. If they interacted Tobin would definitely try and get a reaction out of him but to no avail, and EJ would see him as a pet project, probably would mostly hangout when he was patching Tobin up after he got into shit. EJ would be a good, stable influence for Tobin

Tobin would beef with Jeff cuz I... Base Jeff off someone I hated in HS.... My bad... LMAOOOO Theyd always kinda compete with their egos in mind. He'd just hate Jeff's superiority complex like hes above everyone and he'd be grumpy as shit around him, always talking back, picking fights a bit, he just doesnt like him

And Tobin would be friends with Nina and Kate, cuz theyre characters I base off people I was friends with. He'd see Nina as a little sister type almost, and at some points he'd get frustrated with her and her attachment to Jeff, her boy issues, her emotions. They'd bicker like siblings too, he'd tease her a lot, but ultimately look out for her. Hes awkward when it comes to emotions, and Nina has intense emotions, so a lot of the times he doesnt know what the fuck to do, and probably gets pissy.

Tobin with Kate would be mad chill. He loves dogs, hes good with dogs, hes dealt with fighter dogs, and so when Kate becomes the Chaser and is just this animalistic beast of a girl, hes pretty good at "taming" her to an extent. I think they both understand what its like to be treated like something less than human. But for Kate herself, theyd be like stoner friends without the weed, mostly. Just chill, jokes around, Kate would probably randomly give him money cuz she has no use for it and I hc her love language to be gift giving, and Tobin would joke and call her his sugar momma.

I think the same would go for Tali/Clockwork but my gf made Tali into her own character more than I did with Tobin/Toby so a bit less there....

Tali would be fine with Jeff, but she listens to Tobin when he doesnt like someone so she wouldnt befriend him or anything. She would befriend Nina, if Nina bugged her enough. She has a soft spot for those girly girls that mean well. Tali would be chill with Jack, but not close with him, just appreciative of his maturity and how its like a breath of fresh air being around some nonhuman who acts more human than the freaks around her

#tombtalk #tomboc #creepypasta oc #creepypasta #tobin lawsen #tali marks #creepedverse #crv tobin #crv tali

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lxmitlxss · 7 months ago

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MOBILE FRIENDLY RULES

as of 08/11/24

i. Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see III. )

send asks! ( BE SPECIFIC, non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC or by Gojo or Break )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

ii. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

iii. Please DO ( ship edition )

het, slash, femslash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x Canon ( but no godmodding my portrayals! )

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

no weird age gaps ( adult mortal x immortal is fine )

canon abuser x victim

no sexual ships for kid/teen muses

follow-up: no preteen ships… crushes are fine!

no age-ups JUST to hard-ship

craddle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

iv. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

v. Please, if you have anything you want to talk to me about, I am here to listen. Criticism and plotting or whatever have you, I am fine with talking! I’m only semi-selective because my muses can be really finicky, so I’m sorry in advance! ADDENDUM - Please do not vague me if I have upset you. If I have blocked you or moved away from you in some way, and you would like to reach out, you can! I won't deny you an explanation if you ask. But please be mindful that I can and will block/soft block if I feel like I need to.

vi. CREDITS. mun's Gilbert icons and PSD SakuraCommissions Boothill and Levi Baskerville Icons by SakuraCommissions Loki Icons by tonyshoodie and helpingheroes vash icons by crimsonicons/popsicons

#➤ bчgone vısıons | ooc

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viridisleo · 3 months ago

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@ VIRIDISLEO ;; the green lion -- a private selective and independent PIDGE from VOLTRON LEGENDARY DEFENDERS follows back from rowanberryhub

blogroll . dossier . meme . open . link . link

rules below the cut --

before anything, i do want to say i do write pidge as some form of genderqueer because of some selfindulgence/self-projection. if you cannot respect this, please do not interact

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

3. communication

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

no weird age gaps

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships with adults she is 17 at the oldest in canon

on that note, no age-ups JUST to hard-ship with adults (if you want to develop something with someone older it has to be within 5 years and have WRITTEN DEVELOPMENT)

also, no cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

#* pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

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waterparksdrama · 2 years ago

Note

ok track by track review of Intellectual Property. GO!

as you wish anon. be warned this is literally like one of maybe 4 times i've listened to this album in full again

st*rfucker - a bit too saccharine on first listen but it has better replay value as time goes on. the beginning of the shoehorned jesus lyrics and the continuation of limo imagery to represent fame which is actually fitting admittedly bc just like a limo that is supposed to represent glamour and celebrity living, they are just as widespread and accessible as him and aren't really that glamorous at all. also this is me saying again wow he complains a lot about fame for someone who isn't really that famous. i still hate the cutoff at the end bc. cmon man. 7/10

real super dark - ok i did like the gilbert gottfried inspired melody i think that's fun actually. the song lyrics? uhhhhhh. just more complaining. if you have listened to any of the albums since fandom you are not missing much there other than the otto serial killer jokes he has inserted here? which is a choice i guess. instrumental is great tho. i feel incredibly stupid listening to a lot of the other parts of the song tho. 7/10

funeral grey - god i can't bear listening to this one on my own i'm sorry. live it's fine, but the studio recording i would rather kill myself than listen to again. IT'S SO ANNOYING. the terrible overenunciated vocals. awsten's attempt at humor by writing these wattpad fic lyrics that make me cringe to my core because i know there's a part of him being genuine. the one direction ripoff hook because he managed to get one of 1d's actual songwriters to help write the track. the only saving grace is the ending but at that point it's too late for any redemption. 2/10

brainwashed - ironically this was written with the 1d guy again and. i'm actually fine with this one LOL. it's simple and lowkey so it's considerably less annoying than funeral grey. considering awsten said the lyrics on this album were hypersexual, but it's 2023 so this is fairly tame, it just makes me wonder how much he has repressed in his psyche. 6/10

2 best friends - ok now we're back to simple annoying. if you tune out the lyrics enough, it sounds like disney channel filler music. but it's actually about ~~sExxxx~~ hahahahaha everything about this album so far is like reading fanfics clearly written by middle schoolers. awsten's sad about his situationship so he goes out with his 2 best friends to forget but it doesn't work :( but he could just fuck his friends bc it wouldn't hurt to try at this point. hey what if this was what the song was actually about that because in travis' insane songfic he made jawn and awsten hook up during this chapter #neverforget #riptravisficeventhoughmebitchingontumblrmadehimkillit 4/10

end of the water (feel) - hearing awsten try to hit those high notes reminded me of people saying brendon straining on his high notes on the last panic tour was like hearing a dog that needed to be shot out back for its own good. this is very obviously a charlie puth ripoff to the t because not only does he hit high notes that no man should ever reach, but i'm pretty sure the verse instrumentals rip off "light switch" by charlie. anyways more of "ughhhhh i'm not getting a text backkkkkk" that makes me want to throw awsten's phone into the pacific. i still don't know why kurtis conner is here and how this is supposed to relate to any of this at all. also actually now that i'm crossing checking the genius pages for these, the descriptions for these songs make them sound much better than they actually are lol. 3/10

self-sabotage - this one is mid on it's own but funny because i remember the amount of twitter discourse this song has spawned. "awsten's being toxic and misogynistic" did we not listen to some of the songs off fandom "awsten has bpd" what if he just sucks sometimes. the memories of this are more memorable than the song itself. 5/10

ritual - remember when i found out the soundbyte at the beginning was from an aids psa. good times. fine song other than the shoehorned soundbyte. the entire song is just a repetition of the verses and chorus like a ~~ritual~~ spooky! i like the flair vincente void adds with his screams i feel like this feature makes more sense because it's a song about protecting yourself from the doctrines of religion that harmed you when you were growing up and apparently vincente has known awsten since he was 13???? only thing i hate is the corpse ripoff ending so much so that i have a personal version where i edited that out. 8/10

fuck about it - BORINGGGGGG OH MY GODD. if you've heard one blackbear feature, congrats you've heard them all because they all sound the same and blackbear adds no energy whatsoever. he made a bayside instrumental sound boring you really can't underestimate him. anyways back to the song itself; the situationship has dissolved into pure sex and disinterest and annoyance outside of that and with the way awsten sounds like he plans having hate sex, i don't think he's ever had hate sex before. there's the ending synth i think is fun and that's the only reason this gets a point at all. 1/10

closer - it's a sweet song but um. haven't we heard this in a way before? *cough cough 21 questions* i think this is the closest (lol) parx comes to at a return to pre-fandom form, but when i listen to the chords too much i'm just like "did he lowkey rip off that one smashing pumpkins song". anyways it's just about needing to be closer to someone or ending the relationship completely. simple but effective but not nearly as effective as 21 questions for me sorry. 7/10

a night out on earth - ok i had physical tickets to the last tour bc i won them on idobi so i was like "THIS SONG BETTER BE AT LEAST DECENT BC I STILL HANG UP THE TICKET WITH THIS NAME" and it was at the least. it's like. a good waterparks song, but i feel like i've heard it already? my mind goes back to see you in the future but for these i can't tell who's ripping off who more lol. yeah i feel like other than some interesting production here and there it's a rehash of shit we already heard before. shoehorned religious lyric. fake ass band guys. "i turn my agony into songs and people only like when i'm hurt". "i've been dead since 2016" (part two). "i'm evil now. idgaf. wat ever."

and then i think the part that makes me go awwww but also confuses me is the im a natural blue radio interview snippet? like why does this all tie in together now. geoff's not even here bro how is this the only release where otto's the only one namedropped when awsten hasn't even named dropped him until last album. 80% the album is about some random relationship how is this supposed to tie into all of these.

idk i feel like i've just had this on my mind when when of my mutuals made their own analysis on awsten's mindsets towards life and said how he uses fear as motivation but his perfectionism keeps him from using failure as an editor and how this song was the peak example of this; the rehash of the same ideas over and over because despite his stubbornness, despite "ultimately -not- giving in to the perception that you’re worth ‘Demonizing'", he never confronts the problem for real, just compartmentalizes the problem away and doesn't truly overcome the root of his problems. that's what i feel like manifests in this album for me to be put off by it at its core. nothing ever changes, he just finds a new situation to complain at. maybe that's also why his fans never change even as new ones come though. maybe that's why we also stay stagnant in this with him.

again i get it, he's a public figure; if he did dive too deep into this and didn't choose to generalize the lyrics for his own sake, he would probably end up incriminating himself way too much and have a hard time performing some of these songs. but i can't help but wonder. if he's truly getting over a mental obstacle like that, or keeps himself so set on the future that he ignores the problems he never solved. like he always does. like he always seems to be doomed to. anyways, 7/10 song.

all in all, it's an album that tries to reach a concept of coming to terms with your sexuality and religious trauma all entwined in fame but in reality it's mostly just about a sucky situationship and awsten complaining again while putting in random religious references sometimes and the beginning and ending are about fame. my hot takes are: tennis imagery = gay sex, there's not enough of a distinction between "soulsucker" and awsten to make "album lore" when the overarching concept of parx's discography is "awsten's life sucks", and darth vader is luke's father. - iz

#i hope you liked this one anon and i hope it explains or relates to any other longtime fan's thoughts on the album #track by track

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doublepractiser · 2 months ago

Text

@ DOUBLEPRACTISER ;; remind -- a private selective and independent RANMA from RANMA 1/2 follows back from rowanberryhub

blogroll . dossier . meme . open . link . link

rules below the cut --

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

3. communication

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

no weird age gaps

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships with adults he is 16, nuh uh!!

on that note, no age-ups JUST to hard-ship with adults (if you want to develop something with someone older it has to be within 5 years and have WRITTEN DEVELOPMENT)

also, no cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

#* pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

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daggersaim · 3 months ago

Text

@ DAGGERSAIM ;; the deadliest aim -- a private selective and independent MAES HUGHES from FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST follows back from rowanberryhub

blogroll . dossier . meme . open . verses . link

rules below the cut --

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

communication

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

- no weird age gaps ( adult mortal x immortal is fine )

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships kid/teen muses

no age-ups JUST to hard-ship

cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

#* pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

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stardustfanfare · 2 years ago

Text

I’m going insane over here. Ok. Strap in. I’ve got a lot to say.

I’ve already made a couple posts about this but the thoughts are running rampant in here and I think I’ve got some more in depth topics I want to get into this time.

(really long post its like 1.5k words so dont click on it if u dont wanna scroll thru all that LOL)

First off, we’ve got the voting system. I have… a lot of gripes about the voting system. I’ll preface this statement with maybe I’m wrong, because I haven’t spent a lot of time interacting with the fandom, but it seems like a lot of people are taking the voting system at face value. The premise is simple, after all. Examine the prisoner, assess their crime, and decide whether you think it was justifiable, right? But there’s a twist, obviously. Your verdicts have a direct impact on the prisoners. And you are speaking through the audience surrogate, the warden at Milgram prison, Es. Es is very interesting to me. Despite being a clear self insert, they absolutely exhibit personality of their own, and thought processes and decisions that aren’t influenced by the audience at all. A perfect unreliable narrator. They aren’t a character at first as much as a lens to see the prison through. From the very beginning, they insist on the same thing: job first, questions later. They’re the warden after all. No time to think about the prison. Now I haven’t read the light novel so I’m sure I could go more in depth on my thoughts on the prison if I had read it, but regardless of that, it’s painfully clear how suspicious the whole situation is. However, the way it’s framed almost makes the prison itself, the warden, and Jackalope fade into the background. It’s kind of brilliant actually. Anyway, you’re voting through Es. But who says Es has the right to pass judgement? Look. No one knows what Milgram is. What their ulterior motives are. What’s ultimately going to happen at the end of the project. According to the light novel, it's happened before, so again, I’m perhaps not the most knowledgeable about this part. But why does Milgram get to decide what to do with the prisoners? It feels awfully hypocritical and potentially dangerous. But the whole project is set up so you have no other choice than to vote. It’s fascinating. You’re led towards the conclusion that Milgram wants you to reach. And your immediate thought is NOT to question it, because it’s a piece of media. Why would it lie?

Alright, bear with me for a minute. You know the original milgram experiment? The one the whole thing is supposedly based on? It's about obedience to authority. Listen to me. I am shaking you guys by the shoulders. It’s about obedience to authority. DOESN’T THAT SOUND LIKE WHAT I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT. They had people administer shocks to “test participants”. The shocks got higher and higher till near fatal levels. The test participants weren’t actually real, but they found that “every participant [went] up to 300 volts, and 65% [went] up to the full 450 volts.” (Milgram experiment, Wikipedia). The whole video series is like this experiment. I don’t know. You get it. You get the connection. I don’t know how much better I can explain this. You can imagine me jumping up and down and flapping my hands.

Listen to me. If you aren’t looking at it from a meta perspective that’s fine. I get it. Most media I like I just passively engage with. Usually that’s more fun for me. But frankly with Milgram I feel as if not looking at it from a meta perspective makes you just another test participant. Another shock administrator. Another cog in the machine. I see people talk about Milgram’s bad writing sometimes, and, you know, fair. There are subjects not handled with the care they need. I’m not claiming that Milgram is perfect. But I haven’t seen anyone talk about how fucking cool this is. They’ve taken the art form and made it into a mechanism. I think it’s kind of brilliant.

Anyway, essentially what I’m trying to say with perhaps an excessive amount of words is that I don’t think we have the right to pass judgement on the prisoners. From a meta perspective, of course.

Apologies in advance for another interjection. This part is perhaps less relevant to the rest of the post, but it’s so cool that I kinda wanna skim over it anyway. You can skip this part if it's getting too long for you, especially since I already kind of touched on it up there. Es as not only an audience surrogate but ALSO as their own character makes them so interesting. I personally actually hated them for a little while after watching some of the voice dramas. Because they act cruel. And make bad decisions. And say insensitive things. And some of that is seeping in from the audience, but even more interesting to me is that a lot of it is just a result of their environment. They’re harsh and defensive and seem very convinced in their own righteousness, and they come off as a total asshole about it sometimes. But think about it. They’ve woken up in this prison. Fucking insane. But instead of freaking out about it, they begin to cling to their newfound authority. I mean, it’s the most rational thing to do. Like, it’s not a normal thing to do, but it’s rational. It’s easy to make yourself forget about everything else when you fixate on a certain point, so that’s what they do. They don’t seem to think there’s any way out of this besides becoming a willing participant, so they lean real hard into the whole “warden” thing. They’re just as trapped as the prisoners are. I believe there’s an empty cell in the prison. Probably Es’s; It’s not a hard conclusion to come to. Milgram has happened before and my guess is that the prisoners are picked more or less by chance. This has very interesting implications. Either Es is a totally random person, or they’re just like the other prisoners, having taken a life. This would make sense as to why they needed to have their memories erased. This makes the whole thing just that much more hypocritical. But I digress.

And so now we come to my second point. Or maybe third on account of the tangents. The parallels with the other prisoners. Specifically number 03, Fuuta. Fuuta is a really good example of taking things out of proportion. His crime is simple: something along the lines of cyberbullying someone into commiting suicide. So like, yes. Objectively? Shitty. Shitty move. He’s not a great person. 20 year old terminally online gamer. Many people off the bat are not going to like him, and therefore probably vote him guilty. But put that into scale: he did not actively kill the person, nor was his intention to cause death. Which is not to say he wasn’t in the wrong. But consider it; we’ve got this weird suspicious prison complex. And we’ve got some loser online. And then there’s the immediate consequence. Now we didn’t know Kotoko was going to go crazy, but regardless of that, that was the consequence of us voting Fuuta guilty. Now he’s literally missing an eye for the crime of… being mean online. So clearly some people started to think about this (hence his innocent vote in trial 2). He’s a crack in the facade, or something of the sort. Apply pressure, dig a little deeper, and it starts looking like, well, the stuff I’ve already said.

But more than that is the realization that Fuuta really has just been taken and put into this prison. He’s a normal person, who has behaved in a less than ideal way, but still a normal person, put into this absurd situation. And you know who else is like that? Well, everybody, but specifically Es. I genuinely do not think there will be a happy ending for anyone unless Es begins to realize this. Which means the audience beginning to realize this. The “innocent” and “guilty” votes don’t really mean anything. Or, they do, because they’ve been assigned value, but the person assigning value to them is, once again, Milgram. Or Jackalope, I suppose, assuming he is the guy behind the whole thing. Maybe I’m preaching to the choir. Maybe you guys have already considered this. But it’s been bouncing around my head all day and I was going a bit crazy over it and I had to get it out.

TLDR; I think the whole voting system is rigged in the favor of the prison itself rather than the prisoners, I don’t think that, as Es, we get to decide who is and who is not “guilty”, Milgram Project itself seems an awful lot like the experiment(not the content of the media, but the interactivity of it), and Es has probably done something bad in order to be in the prison in the first place. The key takeaway from this is that I’m actually really normal and pumping out 1.5k words in 2 hours because of this media is an average and usual thing to do.

#some of this probably doesnt make sense but whatever #pleeease if u have any thoughts or disagreements i want to hear them #milgram #milgram project #milgram theory #junebug season #long post #bleeeuhi typed all this out in 2 hrs #milgram spoilers #junes milgram posting tag

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multimerc · 6 months ago

Text

Mobile Friendly Rules

Updated 08/24/24

i. Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see III. )

send asks!

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my character

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

ii. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

iii. Please DO ( ship edition )

het, slash, femslash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x Canon ( but no godmodding my portrayals! )

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

no weird age gaps ( adult mortal x immortal is fine )

canon abuser x victim

no sexual ships for kid/teen muses

follow-up: no preteen ships… crushes are fine!

no age-ups JUST to hard-ship

cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

iv. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

v. Please, if you have anything you want to talk to me about, I am here to listen. Criticism and plotting or whatever have you, I am fine with talking! I’m only semi-selective because my muse can be really finicky, so I’m sorry in advance! ADDENDUM - Please do not vague me if I have upset you. If I have blocked you or moved away from you in some way, and you would like to reach out, you can! I won’t deny you an explanation if you ask. But please be mindful that I can and will block/soft block if I feel like I need to.

vi. CREDITS. Levi Baskerville Icons by SakuraCommissions divider by saradika-graphics

#》「ᴏᴜᴛ ʙᴇʀʀʏ ᴘɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ」 ooc ➢

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theredwitterell · 2 years ago

Text

like listen not to be like "ohhh both sides" but like. a) yes it is getting real bad re: the honestly like borderline sexual harassment of pedro pascal and like the uncomfortable sexualization of this dude To His Face and like. can we all tone it down bc this man deserves a fucking modicum of privacy and like. the ability to be a human without having ppl constantly telling him abt his dick but also b) it is ok to make fan content abt pedro and like dude imo fan content should be a level removed from the subject anyway ykwim like having sexual thoughts abt someone attractive is normal and like maybe its a little cringy to have self insert stuff on the internet but like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this is the cringy porn website so wht did u fucking expect but like yeah with a layer of removal its fine to like. be horny for pedro pascal and these other actors but pls chill the fuck out to his face and like. the paparazzi stuff is getting out of control and mb we should be comfy w the stuff that gets put out by PR firms or from actual content w/o looking for this man in Real Life ykwim

like we all have a crush on Pedro Pascal the public figure and the actual human pedro pascal should be allowed to have his own life ykwim but like engaging with Public Figure Pedro Pascal isnt a fuckin crime

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submonished · 2 months ago

Text

@ SUBMONISHED ;; remind -- a private selective and independent FRET from NEO: THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU follows back from rowanberryhub

blogroll . dossier . meme . open . link . link

rules below the cut --

to do or not to do

Please DO

crossovers, aus

most anything goes ( within reason )

ask to ship! ( see 4. )

send asks! ( non-claimed/non-directed anons will be answered OOC )

One-liners, Para, Multi-para and Novella

Please DONT

Godmod - ie. control my characters

Powerplay - ie. make a character all-knowing/powerful who isnt already

Metagaming - ie. put your ooc knowledge in your character ic if they genuinely dont know

Please be aware that I am dyslexic and a slow reader…

2. PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO ROLEPLAY ANY SORT OF ROLEPLAY, WITHIN REASON.

3. communication

4. to do or not to do (ship edition)

Please DO

het, slash, polyship, crackship, rarepair, BrOTP, Queerplatonic, etc

OC x Canon, Self Insert x OC

communicate first about a potential ship

bring your headcanons to the table and communicate them

communicate ( /silly )

jokingly ask to ship ( i will take it seriously /silly )

ship with chemistry

Please DONT

no weird age gaps

ABSOLUTELY no romantic ships with adults he is 16, nuh uh!!

on that note, no age-ups JUST to hard-ship with adults (if you want to develop something with someone older it has to be within 5 years and have WRITTEN DEVELOPMENT)

also, no cradle robber ships ( older muse watched younger grow up, etc )

if you want to use darker material in a roleplay, please communicate with me - though if I say no, please respect that!

5. FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME!

#* pinned #rowanberry #26 #mst/denver

0 notes