#listen it's not that it bothers me just started finking about it after seeing those posts

[westmeath]

i feel like when you've been on this website for more than ten years most people will breach 1000 followers in that time just by the nature of the beast or whatever or at least i've seen a post or two recently that said something along those lines and took it as gospel. but i've been posting since 2012 and still havent hit that milestone. like i'm not far off but also since i've had this blog so long probably the majority of those followers aren't actually active so it doesn't even translate into engagement. it's just you and me in here. & 900-odd ghosts

[spooky-scary-imagines]

Just poppin in to say that Chop Top story was 👌 and I’d love to hear a continuation. He’s gotten himself and the reader into quite a mess considering how Drayton reacted to Bubba and Stretch, and now you’ve got me all curious about how they’re gonna get out of it.

((You are very correct. Meeting the family on the first date? Lord knows what he was thinking. AND GUESS WHAT! I saved this bad boy so it’s my 69th post. *smacks lips and looks at the camera* Noice. It’s what Chop would have wanted. Also, I am trying my best to stick to the canon story-line like I did in the first part but like…the canon story-line as is does not allow much wiggle room. I’ve cranked the forced 70’s slang up to 11 so I hope the context clues work. ;P Also, it’s pretty much canon that Chop only listens to shitty “experimental” prog-rock.  In any-case, thanks so much to all of y’all who’ve encouraged me to write the sequel as well as write in general. Your support means a lot to me. TW For Drayton being…the way that he is. Most of his dialogue is straight from the script but if that’s upsetting feel free to skip this one. Tagging: @i-cant-get-with-it

From outside, the abandoned theme park was just an empty husk of long-forgotten family trips and worn plastic over a warped metal skeleton. Inside however, the old Texas Battle Land had found a second life as home to some of the most wanted people in Texas. When the youngest members of the Sawyer clan arrived home, it was just as they had left it. Fluorescent lights casting a dull glow over the filthy environment, made even more unpleasant by the ever-present smell of decayed flesh and dried blood.

As they carried the bodies they’d gotten earlier inside, the older of the two stopped his brother before they entered the threshold. “H-Hey Bubba, I, uh, I’m just gonna take this one alright?” he asked, gesturing to the body whose head wasn’t a gross mess of blood and pulp. The younger, Bubba, looked at his brother curiously, and while it was impossible to tell from beneath the mask, his eyes conveyed that he definitely was raising an eyebrow at this behavior. Chop-Top fidgeted under his gaze, “I-I g-got a, er, project I wanna do with it.” Bubba just shook his head and shrugged the limp body off his shoulders, into his brothers arms. He grinned up at Bubba and turned to walk away before quickly whipping back. “W-Wait!” he held onto Bubba’s arm, “Don’t-Don’t tell Drayton about this one, ya dig? He’s joanin’ on us enough already.” Bubba nodded solemnly and he and Chop parted ways down into the labyrinthine tunnels.

…

When you finally woke up, you had no clue where you were. Your first instinct was t scream but you held it back as you tried to analyze your situation. The room was dark and looked like the inside of the Devil’s Shaggin’ Wagon. The walls were lined in colorful, yet dingy carpets and miscellaneous oddities, ranging from bones, to old and blurry Polaroids, to worn and torn band posters, and age-bleached centerfolds of woman and men, naked as they day they were born. After quickly taking in your surroundings, you groggily moved to stand up, but were cut short as you finally took notice of the rope tying you arms and legs to the chair you sat in. You instantly wanted to panic, memories of what happened suddenly flooding back. But you knew that, whoever these people were, you were at their mercy, and it was in your own best interest to just try and play along. Just thinking like that was frying you, but you had to keep it together, or you didn’t have a chance

.After what felt like ages of waiting for a bomb to go off, the door directly across from you opened up to reveal the pale face of the man from the radio station. His glasses and wig were gone revealing an exposed metal plate embedded into his skull, the edges where it met skin were raw and torn, indicating they had not been allowed to heal. He turned to you, and when his eyes met yours his face lit up. “Y-You’re awake! I-uh, well, groovy!” he said, scrambling over to you. He sat beside you, and started messing with your still-trapped hand, picking at the skin and bringing it to his face. If you remembered right, this man mostly responded nicely to you, so he was probably your best option.

  “Um, hey man, not-not that I can’t dig it but-either I’m tripping or you’ve got some ‘splaining to do Lucy.”

  The man laughed at that and moved away, crossing the room to a shoddy looking record player. “You-You like At-t-tomic Rooster?” the man asked, though the record was in place before you could answer. Distorted keyboarding and some bitchin’ guitar riffs blared through the tinny speakers as the man bared his teeth in a manic grin. “Th-this one’s called Ger-Gershazer,” at that word, he started giggling to himself. Disappointed, you tried again.

  “So is this your pad?”

“Damn straight!” the man yelled before more quietly adding, “Well, I-I don’t live alone…But-But I paid for this place!” He pointed at the metal plate, “What I got for this chrome-dome ‘Nam gave me?”“You…you were in Vietnam?”

The man’s eyes got a weird glint to them and his head whipped back in a loud cackle, “NAAAPALM! FIRE IN THE HOLE! The ole’ AGENT O!” He gripped your shoulders tightly, “It’s the dream baby, Nam Land!” You just stared at him in a mix of shock and horror. Before you could respond, from somewhere outside the door, you could make out the sound of a someone yelling. The man’s eyes narrowed and whipped towards the door. “Just-Just w-wait here. Don’t bug out on me now,” he said before bolting out the door. You didn’t bother to mention that you couldn’t even if you wanted to, well, of course you wanted to, it’s just…it doesn’t matter. There’s certainly nothing you can do right now. Worry about your apparent susceptibility to Stockholm Syndrome later.

  When the trippy hippie finally returned, he wasn’t alone. “Hey sunshine, he crooned, seemingly having gotten over whatever caused him to freak-out last time, “I got someone I want you to meet…” He gestured to the other person revealing a gnarled old corpse wearing a camo army jacket, and you bit back a scream. The thing was on the rough side of decomposition and looked like a prop from the guy who did Dead of Night. The man broke into a near falsetto and reached the corpses hand out as if it were a puppet, “H-Hi my name’s Nubbins! You’re-You’re a r-r-real f-fox.” Despite the horror of the whole situation, you couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. The man swatted at the corpse and turned to you, with a noticeable pink to his cheeks that wasn’t there before, “J-Just ignore m-my brother. He’s a j-jelly brain. 

You decided not to address the obvious taxidermied elephant in the room, “So you two are brothers?”

“Yeah. We’re twins! But I got the good looks.” the man argued. Given the state of the other one, you’d have to agree. “Ya see those pictures on the wall?” You nodded. “Nubbins is the one who took them. He always liked artsy stuff…” he drifted off, lost in thought or perhaps memories, of a happier time you couldn’t picture. You were about to offer some comfort when the door slammed open, revealing the giant from before. “DON’T YOU EVER KNOCK!” the smaller man shrieked, leaping up to try and block the other from you. You heard the masked man mumble indignantly. “SO WHAT IF I DON’T USUALLY CARE!” Despite the hippie’s best efforts the large man pushed past him and was struck dumb when he saw you. He turned to the other and yanked him off to a somewhat separate part of the room. While you couldn’t tell what all they were saying, you could tell it was a heated argument.  Before they could return to you, the yelling voice from earlier called for them both and you were left alone again.

…

Drayton was on one again, this time, he was convinced that there was some intruder in the house and had been yelling at the two of them to FIND THEM DAMN IT. Finally Chop-Top and Drayton caught up to where Bubba had some girl cornered at the end of a tunnel. It wasn’t surprising to find a cave-in or a dead-end and end up lost for hours. “What the hell’s going on here?” Drayton looked from Bubba to the young woman, confused and angry, “Bubba, you nap-haired idiot. Get out of here. Who’s this? I get it. Are you the saboteur that’s fucking up our house? Tryin’ to put me out of business? Thousands of dollars lost. You got that kind of money?” “No!” the woman finally responded, and Chop-Top finally recognized that voice.

“It’s the DJ. My faaaaave.”

“That dirty thing?” Drayton sneered, “Told me you boys got her!”

“Well, yeah,” Chop butted in, “Leatherface killed her once already tonight. But look, she’s red-faced. Bubba’s been playing with her. Bubba likes her!” With a exaggerated gasp, he broke into an obnoxious chant, “Bubba’s got a girlfriend. Bubba’s got a girlfriend! Bubba’s got a girlfriend! Bubba’s got a girlfriend!Bubba’s got a girlfriend! Bubba’s got a girl-BLEAH” he jumped and erupted into cackles again.

  “Is that what this is, Bubba?” Drayton asked, “The old cock-and-cunt swindle, huh? S-C-E-X. Sex. And you had to find out about it, didn’t you? You just couldn’t leave it alone. If you wanted to know about it so bad, why didn’t you ask me? You wanna know about it? Ask me. Ask me! It’s a swindle, that’s all. So don’t get mixed up in it…”

Bubba grunted angrily and pointed to Chop-Top, who had lost his playful expression. “What are you going on about?” Bubba communicated in his own way what he had seen in Chop and Nubbin’s room. “Cheese-eating fink…” Chop-Top mumbled under his breath. Drayton threw his arms in the air, “Are both of you falling for it! What would Grandpa say!” Bubba hung his head sadly and Chop just rolled his eyes.  Drayton sighed, “Alright, Chop-Top, take this one away,” he thumbed towards the DJ and glared at the his second-youngest brother, “Then we’re going to see this little cock-monger of yours!”

…

After a more than awkward first meeting with the eldest of the Sawyer clan in which he called you every name under the sun, you were brought to a large dining table and were sat across from Vanita. She briefly stopped screaming when she saw you and sobbed, realizing the fate she had doomed you and L.G. to. You tried to comfort her but there was only so much you could say over Drayton raggin’ and monologuing his totally square life story. “There’s Grandpa now!” he crowed as the two other Sawyers brought in what appeared to be a decrepit corpse in on a throne like dining chair. As Drayton began rambling again about the man “Grandpa” used to be, you noticed that the thing in the chair wasn’t a corpse at all! “Refracto…” you muttered as you watched the ancient man move, albeit slowly. The man who had captured you, “Chop-Top” you had heard the others call him, kept scrambling around, alternating between taunting Stretch and nuzzling against you. “Get the hammer!” the cook squawked and the hippie scampered off. Drayton ordered them around, yelling to “Just get on with it!” and soon they had a small tub set down in front of the old man.

  “Wait, uh,” Chop spoke up, “Maybe we ain’t g-gotta kill ‘em.” He looked nervously back to you, “I mean, at least n-not both of ‘em. Mine ain’t gonna be an-any trouble. A-And I’m the one bankrollin’ this place! I should decide!”Drayton sneered, “I can’t believe both you shit-heads are gonna pussy-out on me at the last minute. You know the country’s in the shitter when a man can’t even rely on his own family! The plight of the American businessman! Quick fucking around and bring them down!”  The two younger brothers looked at each other, neither moving. Slowly, the larger one, Bubba, hung his head and starting walking towards Stretch who started screaming again, pleading for him to let her go. You were too scared to scream and could only watch as Vanita was dragged from her chair and made to bear her head over the bucket at Grandpa’s feet. Chop muttered something into your ear about “Not tripping” and “Just letting him handle it.” But something told you it was gonna take a miracle to get you out of here alive.

  That miracle came in the form of a disembodied voice singing “Bringing in the Sheaves.” From your position at the table you couldn’t really make out what was happening, but you could hear Drayton talking to someone, apparently some competition in the catering biz? You heard Stretch pitifully say “Lefty…” Wait, wasn’t Lefty the name of the guy you two were waiting at the station for? Before you could even call out to him, everything exploded into chaos. All you could hear was chainsaws revving and the screams and yelling from the whole family. You saw Stretch run past you into the tunnels, Chop-Top hot on her heels. Bubba was chainsaw-dueling with a guy who looked like a love-child of  Sheriff Buford T. Justice and Major Kong. Drayton was nowhere to be seen. 

In all the excitement, they seemed to have forgotten about you. You seized your chance to escape, wiggling out of the ropes Chop-Top seemed to have purposely tied a little loose.

  You made your way through the seemingly endless tunnels, finally making your way outside. As you finally reached the surface, you realized night had turned to day. Exhausted on all levels, you collapsed inside the metal tunnels leading to the main body of the park. You heard the sound of explosions, chainsaws and screaming in the distance, but they barely seemed to break through the daze you were in. You had no idea how long you sat there, but you were suddenly broken out of your stupor by a gangling shadow looming over you. 

You looked up, only to see the grinning mug of that crazy Head you just couldn’t seem to lose. He looked more than worse for wear, blood dripping from his neck and a gaping hole in his abdomen. Despite everything he had put you through, you found yourself still feeling pity for him. “Hey, rock b-bunny,” he crowed weakly, “Figured you’d blown this p-pop-stand.” You couldn’t bring yourself to respond, instead leaning in to look over his wound. He brushed you off, “Don’tcha’ know?” He grinned, “Sawyers are like cockroaches, it’ll take more than a lil’ rough stuff and and a wayward Smokey to take us down. Now c’mon.” He held out a hand to help you up, then started off back towards the park, “Let’s go round up the rest of ‘em.” You took one last glance behind you towards the horizon, your freedom, the rest of the life you had always believed you wanted…then turned back and followed your new life into the caverns. Into his, and now your, hell, or perhaps…heaven.

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 32

Title & Song:  Growing On Me

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Word Count: 3500+

Summary: Genevieve gets played by the marriage enthusiast Aggie. - Alfie finds a way to cut through Genevieve’s bad mood. - Genevieve is hit hard with questions about her worth when it comes to romance. 

Warnings/Tags: Language. Fluff.

A/N: Every chapter of this story will have a song to work as the title and as a soundtrack. Chapter song is Growing On Me by The Darkness. 

Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes, asks and comments feed me to write more! Let me know if you’d like tagged in my work.

My Masterlist. (Includes Parts 1-31)

He's come home to an eerily silent house. No one answers him at the door, and he sees no one on the way to his room. As he's changed into something more comfortable and made his way cautiously around the house, subconsciously heading straight for your room, turning swiftly as he hears a noise from the kitchen.

He pads down the dim back hallways of the house that connect almost all the rooms. He hears you and exhales noisily, putting his gun into the back of his trousers. He moves towards the sound of you talking to yourself as you're leaning over slightly, hands on your knees, looking into the oven window. You have a lovely flowing blue dress on, your hair pulled back messily, bits loose and pieces fall in no certain order.

"Where is everyone?" you hear Alfie call from the other side of the kitchen.

"It's a summer day off I give the house staff before my birthday." you explain, turning to face him, showing a smudged apron and a flushed face.

"What do ya do that for?" he asks, chin moving up as he approaches you, hand on the large wooden butcher block top of the island in the center of the kitchen.

"Well it's very stressful on them. The planning, the cleaning up, tending to guests. It can get a bit wild so some can come upon uncomfortable situations and I like my people happy so I give them time off before and after the party." you explain, laying your pot holders to the surface his hand rested on.

"Well that's nice of ya innit?" he asks rhetorically, looking into the oven behidn you. "What ya got in there?" he asks, head nodding towards the dish.

"Dinner." you say with a chuckle. "Hopefully. It's been well over ten years since I've made it." you say with an uneasy smile and a shrug.

"Well what is it?" he clarifies.

"A Potato Kugel." you say, moving with him as he walks towards the oven.

"What ya makin' a Kugel for luv?" he says with a surprised look on his face.

You turn to sit on a stool by the counter. "Well Aggie reminded me it was the anniversary of Ida's death and got me feeling all nostalgic." you say with sweet inflection to your voice.

"Who's Ida?" he asks, turning to you, hands in his pockets.

"She was the nurse I had from before I even born." your lashes flutter, your eyes moving around the room in memory.

"Has Agatha not been with ya that long?"

"She worked in the same home, but she wasn't my personally assigned nurse." you explain.

"Personally assigned nurse. I forget how posh your upbringing was sometimes." he admits with a small half smile and a quick tilt of his head.

"Hush." you say with a chuckle.

"Was this something Ida made?"

"Yes. I loved it when I was younger. She'd made me one special sometimes." he adores the girlish smile that comes across your face as a good memory dances behind your eyes.

"Was Ida one of mine?" he asks, turning his eyes back to the oven for a moment.

"Yeah." you laugh, finding the way he asked his questions very entertaining from time to time. "I don't know much beyond her being Russian and Jewish though." you admit with a furrowed brow.

"Oi, she was like me 'en wunnit she?" he lets out a surprisingly loud laugh.

"Are you Russian?" you ask, your surprise clear in your high pitched voice.

He grins at your big eyes and open mouth. "Me mother was." he says with a nod.

"Well that's a bit of serendipity isn't it?" you say with a childlike wonderment on your face. "That's lovely." you say with a very charming smile, kicking your feet as they don't touch the floor in the high chair.

"Well we'll remember her fondly tonight with this." you say with a heavy sigh. "Aggie thought I could make it from memory. Although I'm not entriely convinced yet that her faith is misplaced, I just haven't cooked anything in so long."

"Yeah I don't know that I've ever seen ya do much besides put jam on toast." he pauses, his fingers pick at his beard as he thinks. "Nah, you's heatin' up leftovers in a pan one night in 'ere wunnt ya?" he chuckles.

"I'm perfectly capable of cooking, I just haven't had to in awhile. Aggie thought it might be nice for me to make something to eat for once since it'd be just a handful of us here tonight. Not like I had to make a huge meal." you elaborate.

"And what better to make than a Kugel?" he says with a grin.

Then it hits you and you start to laugh, your face moving to your hands on the counter.

"What?" he asks, eyes getting wider.

"I got fucking worked by cheeky 'ol Ags is what." you groan out. "Fell right fucking into that." you sigh, turning to face him, wiping your fingers under your eyes.

He stands, raised eyebrows still waiting for a response.

"It's only going to be a few people here tonight. She knew she could use Ida as an excuse to get me to cook. And of course, she lures me right into making a Jewish dish. And she knew you'd be here tonight for dinner. A dinner that I'm making...cooking for the first time since you've moved in...ya see where this is going?" you ask with a wrinkled nose.

The realization blooms across his face as he laughs out loud, eyes crinkling at Agatha. "Relentless." he says with a shake of her head.

"So she IS bothering you about me as well? Because she's sure as fuck bother me about you." you both start to laugh.

"Of fuckin' course she has been Genny." he says gruffly as if it were the most obvious fact in the world.

"She is persistent if nothing else." you say with a sigh as you both laugh until a sigh builds between you, biding your time over the cripsing Kugel.

"I meant to tell ya when I came in 'an got so distracted by your divine skills in Jewish cookin' that I must've gotten sidetracked with the urge to propose and forgot." he says with a goofy smile.

You blink your eyes at him, giving him a playfully warning smirk.

"I 'eard some boys talkin' 'bout you today." he says with an odd but not off putting expression. "And a few ladies, come to think." he adds with a nod.

"What?" you ask with an unsure shake of your head.

"I 'eard you's the girl that knocked the granny out 'a Darby." he says proudly before his shoulders shake with a silent laugh.

"Oh, the word must be getting around then." you say with a big, slow nod. "It seemed I got hassled less today and I wasn't sure if it was coincidence or not." you say with a thoughtful pout.

"Apparently that second hit gave him a bit of a shiner and with the need for explanation, that he ain't givin', yeah? It's findin' its way around the rumor mill 'bout now. And apart from the normal derogatory terms that are inescapable amongst that sort of company, it's all about you being quite the little bearcat, roughin' up Darby 'n gangsters like me 'n the like." he gives you a sly smile.

You study his face, still smirking at his words. "They aren't talking about us working together?"

"I 'on't fink nobody gives a flyin' fuck as long as the subject of a woman beatin' up a gangster is on the table." he says in a matter of fact sort of way that your find oddly relieving to hear.

"Seems that worked out in my favor." you say with a huff of a laugh.

"You got all of London whispering about what a tough little bird ya are, luv." he says quietly with a supportive smile, leaning in closer to you.

You aren't really sure how to take the news. It was good, but you were still left nervous. You breathe a sigh of relief after a shielded reassuring smile at him before he moves to fetch drinks. The kitchen is quiet, but it's noisy in your head as you wonder how far the word would spread, and even more curious as to how that rumor might change as it traveled. --------------- You're raging with blood to back up your fury as you've barricaded yourself in your studio again for the few days. It isn't unknown to those who have been in your employee for any amount of time how you prefer to be left alone for a few days a month. And by left alone you mean you are probable to yell, and not in polite words at anyone who did anything to upset you. At this point, you ruled as a ditator in your household, you tried to compensate for your behavior with kindness to your staff, the poor dears.

Alfie pads up the stairs, taking his time, listening to shouts from the landing above him, slowly coming into view. He hears a teacup smash and girl hunched over, trying not to look mad, shuffles out of your studio hurriedly.  He stands and moves his head with her, watching her rush away. He returns his head with a quick swing as he hears Aggie's familiar sigh and a door shutting.

"My word Mr. Solomons," she says rolling her eyes, "Why are you up here? I told you she wasn't fit for company, poor dear." she says, shoudlers slumped, clearly tired and bless her, she was still trying to shine this in a positive light.

"Well she ain't come down for tea 'an then I's told she was feelin' poorly and I thought it proper to bring her somefin'." he says with a hopeful tone that makes Aggie shut her eyes and took a deep breath and hoping to herself that you'd see how thoughtful this man was one day. "I didn't know what was wrong so I just brought her 'is." he holds up a box from his bakery, flowers limply resting on top, wrapped in paper.

Aggie frowns and he's entirely confused by the expresssion. He thought women liked these sorts of things. Her face is really scowling because of how pleasant he could be in his honesty with his shrugging shoulders and questioning brows.

"You really didn't have to go to all that trouble." she says, biting the inside of her cheek at him.

"Well, she coulda been fuckin' dyin' up here what with how no one would tell me what was wrong with her, eh?" he says with a nod, eyes wide.

"She isn't always in such a foul mood," she says with one last sigh, moving away from the door, letting him enter by his own choice. "But there's always the chance she won't be miserable at you if you go in there and be your charmin', young self at her," she says matter of factly, moving slowly back to the stairs. "I don't care what she says, I know she likes it." she says in a sassy way and to no one in particular even though it was just the two of them upstairs.

He clears his throat, readjusting the box in his grip and knocking swiftly on the door.

"WHAT?" you state loudly, not in anger but in the least rude way you could get away with. The door opens with a quiet squeak as he pushes through his hesitancy, still not knowing what he would be met with.

You are perched on a stool, back slightly hunched with one foot resting on the seat, the other hanging down. You were posed much like a gargoyle on a cathedral with your curved back, a claw-like pose of your hands around the paint brush, extended to the canvas as he enters.

"Genevieve?" you hear his familiar voice, it felt even more warm than usual. He must have been warned. You move your face, stone with a heavy brow to his wide eyed curious face with a sigh.

"Alfie..." you sigh noisily. "Why are you here?" you ask in an annoyed drawn out way.

"Can I come In?" he asks politely, his lips pouting just slightly as your eyes narrowed at him, waiting to walk further into the room. At least he wasn't being a pest.

"Fine." you groan, shaking your head and setting down your brush. You turn to see him walk in, the box you know to be from his bakery in his hands, your stomach grumbles at the sight. You notice the paper on the top actually conceals flowers and is not part of the box and your stone face breaks.

The laugh starts in your chest, your eyes squeezing shut as you put your hands over your face as you laugh. You turn your head back to him as he approaches. You slowly drag your hands down your face, pulling bits of pieces of your already wild and haphazard bun that rested on top of your head down with your fingers. You sigh and exhale in a dramatic way. You leave one hand on your face, your fingers over your mouth. You've stopped laughing by the time he reaches your side. You take in his casual appearance, the smell of rum telling you he'd just gotten home from work.

His eyes meet yours, they're cheerful and you give a half smile at what he must've been told about you in this state.  He sees your eyes reflecting something that he thought might be pity and he's not sure why.

"You brought me fucking flowers? You absolute fool." your voice is deeper than usual, more gritty.

"Well you weren't at tea and I was told you felt poorly so..." he shrugs and you lower your hand and take the flowers, moving both legs to a normal sitting position, sitting them on your lap. You readjust the black robe around your shoulders, the paper slides off the slick silk of the floor length gown.

"Why in the hell did you bring me flowers and sweets?" you ask, sounding exasperated but your face read as indifferent, almost amused.

"I was told you felt poorly." he says as if it's obvious. "I thought it proper to bring you somefin." he says in defense of himself. "We live in the same fuckin' house Genevieve, if ya sick, I'm not just gonna ignore you." as he speaks you take the box from his hands and open it, eating one of the round pastries.

"Perhaps you should." you say chewing slowly, your eyes looked tired, the circles under them more visible than the last time he'd seen you.

"Am I not allowed to bring you things when don't feel well now?" he sounds on the precipoce of annoyance to your difficult defaulted setting.

"They didn't tell you why I felt poorly I'm guessing" a single eyebrow raise and subtle half smile, breaking the tight lips that held too much tension.

"Well no but...what's that gotta do with anythin'?" he asks, shaking his head.

"Well, for your ease of understanding, if one were Jewish they might refer to me currently withe term, Niddah." you say, rolling your head back his way, looking for the understanding in his face. It was there.

"Ah." he says rather loudly, making you flinch slightly as you felt sensitive to such things at the moment. "Well everything makes much more sense now, dunnit?" he says with a lazy smirk and a small chuckle as you clearly are holding back a smile, your brow low but your eyes not angry in any way.

You shrug an eyebrow and your shoulders in response.

"Well, you don't gotta separate yourself now do ya? What ya hidin' up here for?" he asks, shoulders losing their stiffness now, his head nodding with his words encouragingly.  

"When I feel particularly overwhelmed I isolate myself. I don't like being such a bear so I prefer to be alone," you say evenly, cooly, no offense meant. "I'm guessing your interpretation of ritual is a bit loose since you're still in the room?" you say with a smirk, side-eyeing him, cracking a joke.

"Eh." he shrugs, his voice gruff. "I fuck up most days anyway dunnit I?" he offers with an easy going nod and eye roll at his own words.

This makes you laugh again, a quiet, more chesty laugh, pieces of hair falling into your face as your shoulders shake. You raise your head nodding, taking another heavy breath and looking over him, your face tired but your smile still subtly worn. "Good it isn't kisses and hugs but rather food and solitary I crave while like this isn't it?" you say with a sarcastic tone, your face back to pleasant.

"After the maids warned me of your foul mood, I didn't think bringin' the former in here with me would be particularly useful. " he says with a smile, his eyes playful.

"I'm never entirely opposed to anything." you say low, a humorus twist to your words, keeping your chuckle silent. "However, I do feel much like a busted old boot in this state." you admit, your face frowning slightly.

"Well now I can't have ya talkin' like 'at about yourself now can I?" he says with a sarcastic over the top frown, moving towards you, you narrow your eyes as he approached with an extended arm. He wraps one around your shoulders, pulling you close to his side, after putting your arm around his waist despite your disapproving pout.

You hated how precious the action felt so much in fact, that you started to cramp again.

"I won't wear out my welcome, luv." he says in a warm way that taps against your shield of pouting and frowns. Your raw state, your nostrils twitch at the masculine smell of him as your face was just short of grazing the loose fabric of his shirt. Your mood shifts quickly, as it often does and you swallow as the smell of him relaxes you, breaking through your grumpy phase and pulling you into your stage of craving comfort. "But will you be coming down? I bought some new books and I'm happy to bury my nose in those alone all night if that's what you wish, but I thought it worth askin'." he looks down at you, and you look at him with big kitten like eyes. You sigh and touch his hand that rests on your shoulder with your own.

"You want me to come down for dinner?" you ask, your eyes narrowing from underneath, "Even in this state?" your voice gives away your surprise.

"I want ya in any state, darling." he says, excessively and dramatically throwing his charm at you in an obnoxious way, his head shaking down towards yours, your noses almost touching.

"Fuck off with it now," you say low, your mouth smiling ever so slightly as you shove him away from you by the ribs.  He laughs and holds his side as if you'd hurt him. "Fine. I'm fucking starving anyway."  you sigh loudly , popping another pastry into your mouth. ------- You're outside in a lovely sheer green dress, matching silk slip, blending you into the rows of flowers as you moved in and out, heading towards the path to go in for tea. You're taking your gloves off, beating them outside the door as you look up and see down the long corridor that something rests on the table by the stairs that you hadn't put there, and in the midst of party planning this puts your senses on high alert. You toss the gloves into the box of tools and use the clean side of your apron to wipe the sweat from your face. You step over the boxes of food and decor for your party that lay in organized piles in the long hallway by the entryway to kitchen.

As you approach your brow furrows, your fingers reaching out lightly to touch the purple petals of an Iris. Your soft expression glances over the large floral arrangement that didn't match anything you'd ordered, you find a card inside. "It's not a field and it's not Faberge but it is French and sent with feeling. Happy Birthday." The swooping signature, as big and obnoxious as the man himself didn't have to be seen to know the alliteration to be of his doing.

"What's these?" you hear Aggie ask moving the mixed arrangement of deep jewel tone flowers, the deep purple of iris's with their yellow accents, maroon and navy, all posed in a vase, black and bejeweled sits hidden under the cascading bottom of deep greenery, fluffing the whole thing to it's ground stature.

"From the missus." you say with a laugh, watching Aggie's face as she reads the odd little poem he's left.

"Christ on the cross, Genevieve, this man," she says handing the paper back to you with a huff and readjustment of her apron. "Sometimes I think it's you that doesn't deserve him." she says, picking up the vase, already knowing to move it to your room.

"Oui," you mumble, a subtle nod. "Sometimes I think that as well." you whisper out. A slow inhale and exhale, looking about the room, knowing you had no time right now to address such feelings that his personal touches left you with. You had a party to stage.

PT 33 Dance The Night Away (NSFW)

Tags! Let me know if you’d like to be added or dropped! Thanks!

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[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Total Eclipse of the Kart”

Written by: Haley Mancini, Jake Goldman

Written & Storyboarded by: Kyle Neswald, Jaydeep Hasrajani, Leticia Abreu Silva, John Martinez

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Needs a pit stop. Or three.

The episode begins with the Mayor announcing the beginning of the Annual Townsville Eclipse Grand Prix. Whoever can get through the Cursed Canyon, Rampage Ridge, and ominous stone spires, again, the Mayor happens to know they're ominous but doesn't seem to care, gets a box he happened to dig up while excavating his new hot tub. Probably a step down from the key to the city.

Let’s meet our contestants, as it’s pretty much a who’s-who of the reboot's rogue's gallery. It seems like whenever Townsville has contests of any sort, the only constestants seem to be either criminals or the Powerpuff Girls, and this Grand Prix appears to be no different at first. Despite that nobody really knows what's inside, everyone seems to know it must be something really good!

Princess Morbucks: She wants the box because it's the only thing in Townsville she doesn't have! Princess is by far the most used villain in the entire show, which probably has something to do with being voiced by one of the head writers.

Man-Boy: He wants the box because it's manly! I would say more, but that pretty much sums him up. He's a man man man man man man. Man. Man.

Pack Rat: Speaking of one-note characters, this villain wants the box because it's shiiiny! This villain didn’t even make a single appearance in Season 2, even though his last episode involved him holding a super-cast with ominous music playing in the background. He’s very fitting here, especially due to that Rat Fink-like mini-monster truck he has.

The Fashionistas: They want the box because, to quote them, "ha ha ha ha ha". Yeah, they kind of just gave up after Pack Rat. They didn't even bother saying how fashionable the box was.

Unpictured, but surely just as important, is Jemmica, who makes a generic quip that there's no way she can't have that box. Also unpictured is Him, but that's because he decided not to show up in this episode at all. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention those unforgettable group of misfits...

...those four random cars on the left side of this shot, and no other shot in the entire episode! Finally, some proof that not everyone that participates in Townsville's events is a criminal aside from lovable superheroes.

Sadly, we didn't get those. Instead, the Reboot Puffs join in this race, too, knowing that there must be something sinister in that box to justify all of these villains showing up for it. If you're expecting any explanation to how 6 year olds can participate in something involving driving a car, that's because this is supposed to be a go-kart race. We know this, even though every car in this looks like a real car, because that's what the title says. I don't believe anything in the episode itself indicates this.

He did have some restraint, though. Right from the beginning, Buttercup wants to drive the car, but the Professor, seen via holographic projection, tells her she's too aggressive. The Mayor starts the race, and we see a few more of the rogue's gallery show up beyond who I've already talked about, including a set of returning villains who I'm sure were very welcomed to be in the reboot.

Yes, Fuzzy Lumpkins and his trustworthy banjo! He’s in what looks like a lawnmower. It is a way to keep your proper-tay clean! Sadly, we don't even get a line from Fuzzy, not even one of his famous ones. He gets immediately flattened, Wile E Coyote style, by Manboy running on a giant, manly log. In fact, I don't believe Fuzzy said a line in this entire reboot that didn't involve him cross-dressing.

Manboy does get a bit of just desserts for that, as he gets interrupted by the Gnat badly singing Ride of the Valkyries. This guy is essentially the replacement for the Ameoba Boys, except he's more of a troll than incompetent. Honestly, the more he appears, the more I'm ashamed that I ever said he was cool. The Gnat flings an overgrown termite at his log, which eats it and burps. It takes quite a bit for this joke to finish, no shock here.

Having seen this carnage, Blossom and Buttercup argue about whether destroying the other contestant's cars is awesome or not. Buttercup is of the former opinion, of course; it's that aggression the Professor keeps talking about. Bubbles wants to stop this argument by playing some hot tunes! She reaches into her dashboard and presses a bunch of buttons.

This leads to one of the running gags with the first half of the episode: a Reboot Puff randomly pushing buttons in the most ridiculous ways imaginable. All she’s doing is turning on the radio, and at no point does she accidentally fire missiles at someone.

With the help of that running gag, she manages to successfully play some music. After a few seconds of the music, they stop arguing and start singing along with it. Why wouldn’t they, it’s a parody of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston, except it’s “I Wanna Have Lunch With Somebody”. The joke is that it involves food.

Discount Jojo, having been left in the dust, reveals that he's the Dick Dastardly of this race. He brought his own invention: the Deceleray, a ray gun that causes anything it hits to slow down to a crawl, and aims it right for the Reboot Puffs.

He even takes the time to tell the viewers that it's solar powered, or "solar power" as they didn't account for the CN logo covering half the text up. This seems like a completely random joke, and the sun that pops up to say "yeah, that's me" seems to hint at that, but this actually becomes important later. Misdirection, or just plain silliness? You decide!

The Powerpuff Girls are too busy listening to the song to notice that a ray is being fired right at them, which is a far better excuse than most of the "the Powerpuff Girls just sit still and take the punishment" scenes. As soon as they're hit by the ray, the car slows down slower than a tortoise that happened to be passing by.

It doesn't seem to slow down the Powerpuff Girls themselves, because the plot wouldn't work if it did, and they wonder why their song is now a vaporwave remix. Okay, Buttercup just calls it a "remix", but I couldn't resist. Discount Jojo then throws a giant spiked bomb right in front of them. I would have tried aiming right for the really, really slow moving targets, but again, that would have ruined the plot.

Buttercup unbuckles herself, and jumps into Blossom's cockpit for another wacky button pressing scene. Unlike the last scene, this does cause warning bells to go off, and she accuses Blossom of doing something wrong. Bubbles was just lucky, apparently.

Buttercup manages to press a button that splits the car into three different vehicles, each with their own name. You know how utterly blatant this scene is? They even have a song that says "cool toys, cool toys", and it ends with a random stock photo of a bunch of kids jumping in the air. They might as well have cut to a fake commercial of a bunch of kids playing with action figures, but that might have been too self-aware.

But wait, if the slow ray hit the entire car, even affecting Professor Utonium and the car's radio, shouldn't these vehicles also be slowed down? At least they explain why the Professor is now okay with Buttercup driving: he knew that Buttercup would rebel against him, and planned accordingly. That's actually a good Professor moment; using the knowledge of his children in his planning.

Now that they’re all split up, does this mean we have to see Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup start competing against each other? Bubbles decides to take a shortcut away from the entire race, basically taking her out of the episode. We do get to cut back to what she’s doing while Blossom and Buttercup are dealing with the rest of the villains, including a few surprise cameo appearances.

The very first of these cameos happens to be Donny the Hellhorn. I would complain, but he's reintroduced by us by Bubbles accidently running him over. Sadly, he survives, but the good news is that this episode is going to make his bad luck a running gag. It's almost like they know he's one of the most hated characters in the show, and this is their way of acknowledging that. I'm not a fan of unnecessary cruelty, even in the original, but it's Donny, so I would say it is necessary.

They get out of the Cursed Canyon, we never find out why it’s “cursed”, and the surviving racers go into the Rampage Ridge. Most of the race portion after this can be summed up with “Buttercup takes out most of the other racers with various traps.” Pack Rat gets distracted by shiny spike traps, The Fashionistas get oil slicked, and the unseen-in-this-episode-until-now Pug-Faced Paulie and his gang get distracted by a dog bone. Each of these ends with our villains falling off a cliff, and their car exploding.

Don’t worry, Buttercup is not intentionally killing all of these villains: she’s just pressing random buttons just to get the turbo buttons to work. I guess I can give them some creativity points for not just reusing the same wacky animation for every one of these scenes in this running gag, but all I can really think about is which one of these is the worst. I'm going with that Bubbles one in the beginning. Those eyes, ugh.

Blossom never gets the same treatment, most likely because an off-model button punching gag would be out of character for her. In fact, she barely gets to do anything other than drive and bicker with Buttercup. Oh yeah, Blossom ends up competing against Buttercup after they all split up, but nothing really comes of it.

After the Ridge, which was definitely reckless thanks to Buttercup, the final stretch leaves the two remaining Reboot Puffs, Discount Jojo, the Gnat, Princess, and Jemmica. The Gnat and Princess essentially go out just like the rest of the villains, with the Gnat splatting on Princess's windshield, and Princess gets taken out by her car running out of gas. One of the posse members exclaims that at least the car didn't explode, and then the car explodes. Wah, wah, waaah.

The episode isn't even halfway over, and the race appears to be nearly over. Clearly, something must be going on with that box. I honestly thought they were going to stretch this wacky race into a whole half hour, but they decide to take it in a completely different direction. Probably for the best.

While the Powerpuff Girls are still bickering on who's going to win, even Blossom forgetting that she wanted to win together with Buttercup, Discount Jojo swats them away, taking them out of the race. In a shocking turn of events, Jemmica uses a jar full of snakes to distract Discount Jojo, taking the lead. Well, so much for her being a female Indiana Jones. She manages to win, much to everyone's surprise! So what was in that all-important box?

A stick. No, really, a stick. I think even a pickle, which a lot of people expected, would have been at least something that tied into the Mayor’s character. However, Jemmica seems to know that it’s a little more than a stick, as she talks about how she’s been waiting for this moment for centuries. How amazing that Jemmica manages to win an item that was specifically for her and her alone.

Suddenly, Jemmica uses the stick, combined with an orb she happened to bring with her, and turns it into a staff. This staff turns her into Cleopatra Thanos! Okay, her real name is Jemoire, and the Professor is about to reveal everything he knows about her, with Jemoire giving some visuals using her Stick of Omens.

To make a long story short, an ancestor to the Mayor banished Jemoire, took her powers, and turned her into Jemmica. She walked the Earth, her immortal body never aging past elementary school age, as various people across time, though we only ever see her in a Greek outfit and a knight outfit before leading to the outfit we knew and, um, loved? I like how this gives a little bit of worldbuilding about Townsville, but there was something that bothered me about this.

This is not possession by an evil item, nor, as I implied before, is this some sort of Him plot. Jemmica was really this demon goddess this entire time. We should have known from all the clues they subtly put into her past episodes, like that one thing! And that other thing! And...actually I have no idea.

No, really, I have no reason to believe this was their intended purpose for this character when they were writing Frenemy or even The Buttercup Job. Well, there may be one thing: she did seem to have a knack for items that would fit a demonic sorceress than an Indiana Jones style adventurer, such as those BFF necklaces from Frenemy and the Doom Cube from The Buttercup Job. But really, this just comes out of nowhere. It's as if they couldn’t think of any more ideas for this character, so they decided to write her off in a way that attempts to make this reboot seem more “twisty” than it is.

Jemoire's first step is to take over Townsville just like she did in the ancient days. The Mayor shows up to tell her that she must be democratically elected in order to take over Townsville, and Jemoire decides to give her rebuttal: by turning the Mayor into sand. Hmm, just like that certain movie that was probably not out when this episode was in production.

Buttercup tries to give her something involving an aura power, but not even the aura powers can stop her! She even tears them apart just by slamming that magic stick again. I would wonder why she couldn’t just use that staff to turn Buttercup into sand too, but plot. All nitpicking aside, I wanted to see those aura powers torn apart at some point to show that they're not an invincible barrier, and this is one way to do it.

Blossom tries to attack, only for her to get knocked into a bunch of rocks. Well, that shouldn't be too bad, the Powerpuff Girls often went through walls in their fights. It's not like they're going to have an extended scene where Buttercup picks up Blossom's seemingly lifeless body from the rubble and cries that she could have saved her, and that it's all her fault.

Sure enough, we get an extended scene where Buttercup picks up Blossom’s seemingly lifeless body from the rubble and cries that she could have saved her, and that it’s all her fault. Yeah, I really believe that these superheroes, who can lift buildings full of people, could really die from getting knocked into a bunch of rocks. Sadly, I really do; if they can get their bones broken from getting tail whipped into a wall, this isn't too far off!

They’re trying to do this emotional moment, but they apparently have no time for that. Out of nowhere, Buttercup wonders where Bubbles is.

We smash cut to a happy scene where Bubbles manages to get Poseidon to join her Party Cat Car! Remember Poseidon's appearance in The Buttercup Job? A previous scene also gave them a bear, who just swims off after Poseidon joins. One can assume he joined a polar bear and a panda and made a far better cartoon.

Oh yeah, bonus points for the implication that Donny was holding his breath for an exorbitantly long period of time. While no Donny would have been better than any Donny, a Donny in constant pain is something I can definitely appreciate.

Cutting back to the now far less dramatic scene, thanks Bubbles, of course Blossom didn’t get killed by a bunch of rocks falling on her. She doesn’t even get a broken arm! Bubbles must be that weak. Buttercup confirms that she learned absolutely nothing as Buttercup starts bickering with Blossom again. With Bubbles still partying with the fake Whitney Houston song, who could stop them from getting into another fight?

Discount Jojo, of course. Actually, I joke about calling him Discount Jojo because his character is often a downgrade from what I remember from the original, but this is one of his better appearances. Discount Jojo ends up teaming up with the Powerpuff Girls because he had dibs on taking over Townsville, and this "Jem-Moo-Moo" lady is getting in the way. It's a case of Forced Kin, and that's not a complaint at all.

We do get a scene where they plan a huge strategy against them with tiny little rocks. I think they could have thrown a joke or two in here, but I guess having a piece of cactus represent Jojo was good enough.

Jemoire summons a bunch of rock minions, and the Powerpuff Girls end up being in a big fight scene against them. I honestly don't have a lot of bad things to say about this scene. One can tell this is one of those scenes where they put a little more money into it than usual. There’s even a nice use of CGI, which I thought was a little beyond this show’s budget! It helps that, since these minions are made of rock, they have no problem showing the Powerpuff Girls punching their arms, legs, and heads off with no hit flashes whatsoever. That's an anomaly in this reboot; sometimes you can't even show a soccer ball getting kicked!

This was all going to end with Discount Jojo firing his Deceleray at Jemoire. Unfortunately, due to all the clouds and the solar eclipse, he only has one shot. Even worse, the episode still has quite a few minutes to go before it ends, and they sure weren't going to end this with a four minute dance party to that fake Whitney Houston song!

One of the rock minions is a giant robot, and Discount Jojo decides that this was too scary for him to keep aiming at the sorceress. He decides to press a giant bail button to launch himself out of his car, causing the car to drop the Deceleray. The Deceleray then shoots its only shot at a random bird. I said it was one of his better appearances; I did not say it was a good appearance.

Then again, maybe he had a reason to be scared, as the Reboot Puffs struggle to face off against it, too. Can anyone stop them, especially if it ends up to a payoff to a not-that-great running joke that ruined a previous scene?

In comes the party train! Choo choo! Somehow, they fly from the sky and ram right into the giant rock monster that Jojo was so terrified by. The robot even pukes out of its eyes, or at least that's the first thought that popped into my mind when I watched it.

But, predictably, beating up a bunch of minions doesn't mean anything. As the previous season has shown, they can have scenes where some random nobodies, and immediately lead to the Monster Punch Girls Down as soon as anything potentially story-changing could happen.

We got Poseidon, the Greek god of the seas and apparently a really good actor! With all of his might, he offers Jemoire some of his world-famous undersea creamed corn! That was a running gag with him in this episode. I don't believe you can grow corn under the sea, but I guess you can't prove Poseidon can't!

Needless to say, Jemoire does not accept the offer, and manages to take him down with a lightning strike from a storm she summoned earlier in the scene. I wouldn't take this victory against a god too far; electric is super effective against water.

I don’t even need to have a screenshot of Donny doing whatever he was going to do, because it’s a foregone conclusion that he can’t do much against this, either. The only time he’s ever in direct combat in the series was to run into a control board in a drunken-esque stupor.

They sure let this electrocution joke go for a long time, and this is something I usually complain about. However, considering how bad two of his previous episodes were, and the fact that the third episode was only okay despite him, this is a well deserved punishment for the Hell-Horn. He doesn't even deserve a consistent spelling of that.

Finally, we get the Reboot Puffs, given a job that would be easier for them than the corn salesman and the Worst Friend Forever. They could fly in and punch that sorceress right in the face while she's busy electrocuting those two.

Or, they can just get electrocuted, too. Funny how they don’t give anyone else any silly faces, but they’re not afraid to do this to our beloved classic characters. I will say that there is some comedic timing with this; the lightning strikes come up just as soon as they fly up. It's a rare good use of timing in this reboot, but way to make your super powerful characters that should inspire all those mothers and daughters look weaker than a wimpy unicorn.

All hope appears to be lost. Discount Jojo’s still around, but the Deceleray can’t get any power because of all the clouds and the moon covering up the sun. See, take that, you solar power loving hippies! Jojo clearly should have used something bad for the environment!

Discount Jojo tries to do something else, but he gets twisted up by Jemoire's magic. Thankfully for everyone else, she decides to keep all of her attention on Discount Jojo to do this one thing. Lightning spells and/or spells to keep everyone else paralyzed are apparently far less taxing than telekinesis. Unfortunately for Jemoire, it was about time for the solar eclipse to end, causing the sun to shine on the Deceleray again. The Powerpuff Girls get the Deceleray, and zap her until she’s completely stationary. What happened to Donny and Poseidon? I don't know.

We cut to The Mayor finishing the story about how he managed to come back from being turned into sand, which is sadly one of the more clever bits of the reboot. We also find out that everyone managed to survive their explosions, as we get a shot of all the villains that participated…except for Fuzzy and a few other characters. This is pretty much proof that they didn’t put a lot of thought in the classic villains’ appearance in this earlier in the episode.

Discount Jojo shows up to attempt to take over Townsville now that Jemoire is nowhere to be seen, but considering he still has injuries from being bent out of shape, his low chances of actually taking over Townsville are even lower here. The Reboot Puffs don’t even have to punch him; he just falls over just by himself. Again, this is something I could see the real Mojo doing. The trying to take over Townsville after getting injured part, not the falling over. The episode ends with the Powerpuff Girls going out for ice cream. No, that isn't my usual "eat ice cream" gag, that's actually what they did.

And right after that quip, we see Jemoire still making the same stance she had when she was frozen by the Deceleray, as ominous music plays and the shot slowly fades out. We still have a half a season left before we can assume this is yet another cliffhanger that will never be resolved.

Does the title fit?

An eclipse does factor into the plot. As mentioned before, they never really call it a "go-kart race" or anything of the sort; all of the vehicles seem like regular cars or just weird gimmicky stuff like that log.

How does it stack up?

The first half of the episode is a pretty mediocre Wacky Races parody. It's cool to see all the villains together, and unlike the last time this has happened in Tiara Trouble, you at least get to see some personality beyond "let's just put them in a dress!"

The episode gets a lot better once we get into the second part of the episode, though I'm still not convinced the twist wasn't something pulled out of thin air. However, there were some good ideas here, and the fight scene against the rock minions is surprisingly good by reboot standards. All in all, it's an upper-tier Neutral that still shows some potential.

Next, we take the long skate home. Take the long skate home.

← Ragnarock and Roll ☆ The Long Skate Home →

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What? I didn’t forget anything! That’s it, I’m done for this week. If I didn't get a cold a few days before this review was posted, I might have had some time to review The Long Skate Home and had a double feature to make up for my absence last week, but when it comes to sickness, sleep is better.

Wait, that's not what you want me to talk about?

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Alright, fine, I'll talk about that cameo that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and didn't need to happen.

Almost as soon as the race begins, the Powerpuff Girls notice these three boys that look so much like them. They recognize them as the Rowdyruff Boys, as they say their names in unison. These boys were incredibly popular villains in the original, but they haven't made a single appearance in the reboot beyond false rumors of them returning with Vine superstars voicing them.

They had fansites, and even to this day, there’s tons of fanfiction and fanart depicting them as being lovey-dovey with the Powerpuff Girls. So how does the reboot reintroduce these beloved characters from the original? Clearly, they must have put some thought into that; look at those cute little helmets they gave them! It would be perfect for more cool toys! Cool beans!

Well, as soon as the Reboot Puffs say their name, the Reboot Ruff's kart immediately gets rocketed and we never see them again. They don't even get a line, it's just rocket boom, boys down, womp womp. To be honest, considering this reboot's general track record with characters returning from the original, I am a little relieved that this is their only appearance in the reboot.

Their appearance was completely inconsequential to the plot, and would only lead to confusion to people who are not familiar with them. In fact, I question why they even bothered to include them. Sure, this is a battle royale with a bunch of villains from previous episodes, but it's not like they included absolutely everyone. Is it a tribute? Is it a jab? Or maybe this is just a tease for a future appearance by them in Season 4. Ha, ha, ha.

← Ragnarock and Roll ☆ The Long Skate Home →

[ambootyos]

Hate It Pt. 3

Part Two

Word Count: 1,320

A/N: Heya! Sorry I haven’t been very active lately, but! Here I am! Anyway, enjoy! Feedback is always welcomed! :)

Tags: @originalbish98 @theprestigious0ne@thegenericluchadora@dorkyvillain@sheaxdevitt@baybayforlife@reigns420 @bolieve-that@laziestgirlintheworld@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure @i-ship-it-okay@breakfastwiththesun@littlebluespoon @earl-01@thirstiswet@princesstoniii @lunatic-svillain @waywarddaughter-fanfics @villainsqueendom @alexnine @yaboichrizach

I woke up with a smile on my face after what’d happened last night. For the first time in quite a while, I actually saw myself being able to move on. It was a comforting feeling.

“Oh, good morning Y/N.” Will smiled. I sat up, making sure to cover myself. He’d just finished getting dressed, before he took a seat at the foot of my bed, and rested his hand on my knee. “Last night, was a lot of fun Darling. Hopefully ‘yer still ‘inta me, and maybe, it could ‘appen again?” He asked, sounding hopeful.

I smiled softly and nodded. “After that, how could I not be into you?” I flirted, blushing slightly. He smirked, and cocked his brow.

“Well, I love ‘va sound ‘ov ‘vat.” He said before kissing me softly on the lips. “You feel like breakfast Darling?” He asked, his tone soft and sweet.

“Absolutely, I’m starving!” I chuckled.

“I guess we really did work up an appetite last night hmm?” He winked. I rolled my eyes, as I grew more embarrassed.

“Will! Come on..” I mumbled, before covering my face with a pillow. He chuckled softly.

“Alright Darling, I’ll let you get dressed.” He said before exiting the room.  

I removed the pillow, and smiled up at the ceiling. It’s been forever since I’ve felt this excited for a relationship. I’d missed this feeling. I didn’t even realize I had until now. But, I didn’t wanna let it go anytime soon.

“Marty..I’m sorry..” Matt sighed, after Marty had explained what had happened. Marty said nothing, as he continued to sulk. Nick scoffed at his brother’s response, and shook his head, not being able to hide how annoyed he was by Marty’s behavior.

“I told you not to go.” He shrugged, rolling his eyes.

“Did you know?” Marty whined as he furrowed his brows, and Matt shot Nick a dirty look for being so direct.

Nick sighed, and shook his head. “No. I didn’t know. But, I’d hoped.” He admitted. His answer obviously only upset Marty more. He exhaled sharply. “Marty, I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t be on your side with this. I’m sorry that you’re hurt, and that you regret your mistake, but you did make one. You have to live with it.”

Marty rubbed his eyes. “I’m aware ‘ov ‘wha happened Nick. I was there. I want her ‘ta be happy. I’m just afraid she’ll realize she doesn’t even want ‘ta speak ‘ta me anymore. I’m afraid ‘ov really losing her.”

“You’re not gonna lose her..” Matt assured him. “But, as much as I hate to say this, you have to stop looking at her like she’s yours. That’s the only way you two are gonna be able to stay friends.”

Marty nodded. “You’re right. Both ‘ov you..” He took a deep breath, and rubbed his forehead. “I just wish she didn’t ‘ave ‘ta move on ‘wif him ‘ov all people..” He trailed off, before walking out.

Matt and Nick shared a glance, not knowing what else to say.

I left my room, and Will smiled as he helped me put on my jacket. “You look beautiful, as always.” He flirted.

“Ah, such a gentleman!” I teased, chuckling softly.

“Well Darling, I thought I owed it ‘ta you. I don’t ‘fink I was such a gentleman last night.” He said as he laced his hand with mine. I couldn’t help but blush.

“Oh, anything but ‘gentle’ indeed. But, I’m definitely not complaining.” I flirted, before biting my lip, trying to hide my smile. He chuckled before pressing his lips to mine, as he opened the door.

When we pulled away, we saw Marty, blocking our path and about to knock on my door before Will had answered it. He cleared his throat, and slid his hands in his pockets. Will looked at me and smiled softly.

“I’ll..wait for you outside Darling.” He said, in a hushed tone before walking past Marty.

Marty walked in frowning at his feet. My face fell. I guess I should have expected this to happen, with how good things had been going, why wouldn’t it?

“Love..I already knew. I saw last night when I was gonna come talk ‘ta you. I don’t know why I assumed he wouldn’t be ‘ere..it’s-it’s pretty obvious ‘wha happened.” He finally said, his tone hushed. He tried to cover it by breathing a laugh but even that was weak. “I didn’t come here ‘ta make you feel bad or anyfing..I thought I should clear ‘va air, and..I-um-I’m sorry Love..I wanted ‘ta be better about ‘vis. But, I can’t..” He shrugged, refusing to look me in the eyes.

I felt horrible. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I wasn’t gonna apologize for being with someone else, but I also didn’t like to see Marty hurt like this.

“Marty, listen. I like Will, I really like him. And, for the first time since you-” I cut myself off, and took a deep breath as I started to tear up, I never really discussed this with him, because it hurt too bad. Sure, we talked a bit. But, it was a brief conversation before a breakup. Then I pretended like it didn’t happen the way it did, but I was so sick of doing that. “Since you cheated on me, with some girl, you’d never even met before that night.” I said, showing anger and frustration for the first time. “So yes, I went out with Will a few times after that first date..and I think I’m kind of with him. I’m sorry you found out the way you did..but, I don’t plan on ending it any time soon.”

He nodded, and swallowed the lump in his throat. “Okay. But Y/N..” He trailed off, wiping his eyes. “W-Why him? ‘Ov all people?”

I exhaled sharply. “You know, those words, sound awfully familiar.” I choked out. “It’s pretty much exactly what I asked you actually.” I added, before cupping his face. “So let me answer you the same way.” I cleared my throat, and shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say..I’m sorry.” I said, my voice monotone, before I wiped tears from my eyes.

“Y/N..” He trailed off, as he rested his hands on my waist and started to tear up as well. I took a deep breath and shook my head, before patting his face away lightly.

“Let yourself out please.” I said, before walking out, and slamming my door as I did so.

I tried to keep myself together, but that was so much built up frustration and anger, I couldn’t just go about having a normal day after that. But, I didn’t wanna bother Will with something I should’ve dealt with a long time ago. I tried to keep myself together when I met up with Will.

“Are you okay Darling?” He asked, sensing there must’ve been something wrong. I faked a smile and nodded.

“Yeah..I-I’m fine. Marty was just..” I trailed off, not even knowing quite how to finish that sentence. I started to tear up again. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t bother you with this..” I said wiping my tears. He pulled me into a hug.

“You're not ‘bovering me Darling.” He smiled. “I really like you, in case ‘ya haven’t noticed.” He chuckled.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks Will..I really like you too.” I flirted, thankful he was still so understanding. He ran his hand through my hair, and breathed a laugh.

“That’s good ‘ta hear Y/N. Do you..wanna talk about this?” He asked. I hesitated for a second. I hadn’t really talked to anyone about how it happened, or what I felt when it did. The only person who really knew anything was Nick. But, I nodded. For once I actually felt ready to.

[attytabano]

22 Divorce Experts Share What They’ve Learned About Divorce -

No matter your status…thinking about divorce, going through a divorce or moving on after a divorce, there will be work to be done on your part. Your own words, actions and thoughts undoubtedly play a role  

If you’ve made the decision to divorce your first priority should be creating a process that is beneficial to all parties involved. According to the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, divorce is far and away the most stressful life event, other than loss of a loved one to death, that we can experience. No matter your status…thinking about divorce, going through a divorce or moving on after a divorce, there will be work to be done on your part. Whether you end up in tears or with a satisfying post-divorce life depends on countless factors. Your own words, actions and thoughts undoubtedly play a role. One thing that will give you an advantage when it comes to divorce is soaking up all the wisdom you can from those who are experts in the divorce field. That’s why DivorcedMoms.com has taken the time to distil it down to the very best 22 experts and what they’ve learned and think you should know about divorce. We hope their words help you uncover the key to navigating divorce and creating a fantastic post-divorce life. 22 Divorce Tips from Divorce Experts 1. There is a Light at the End of the Tunnel. You move on socially and romantically while your kids become more independent. You have two weekends a month to do what YOU want to do. Just remember, divorce only hurts for a little while and you have complete control over how much someone can hurt you. ~ Karen R. Guthrie, Esq. 2. Civil Communication Between Parents is Imperative The best thing any family facing divorce is to assure open communication about the children. It is essential to make sure that both parents have equal access to both the schedule as well as to information.  I used the iCal app and created a schedule that would allow my ex-husband to subscribe. Google Calendar works just as well. This allowed us all to be connected without having unnecessary conversations. It also allows invitations to be accepted or declined. You didn’t get my invitation? Well, here is proof that it was sent. This leaves the obligation on the receiving party to always check their email. My favorite method of sharing and saving information has been through Evernote.  It is a free application, and you can create shared notebooks to exchange and store information. ~ Virginia Masters, DivorcedMoms blogger 3. Co-Parting is a Business The one piece of advice that I always return to, and that I feel puts my situation into perspective time and time again is this: co-parent like business partners instead of like exes. When you parent as business partners, parents shift their focus on what is most important; the kids. So, if parenting is a business, the children are the product of the enterprise. The goal, then, is to produce happy, healthy, and well-adjusted “products”, which requires pooling resources in the most effective way possible and letting go of the petty things that get in the way of success. ~ Audrey Cade, DivorcedMoms blogger 4. Remain Sensitive to Your Children’s Needs It is not uncommon for divorcing parents to switch their focus from being a conscious parent to becoming a distracted one.  So, remember to remain sensitive to your children’s needs as well as your own as they are also learning to cope with your divorce too! ~ Reiki Rita, Spiritual Life Coach and Parent Educator 5. Prioritize Finances One way to prepare for your divorce is to create a list of all your assets and debts before you contact any financial or legal expert. Preparation can save you time and money. Make a list of all debts, and their interest rates. Know the equity of the home (appraisal if needed). Know what is marital property, premarital property, and second properties. List all retirement accounts and any undisclosed monies. Prioritize what is important to you. Do as much work on your own as you can prior to meeting with your legal counsel or going to any of your network of experts. ~ Kathey Batey, Divorce Support Anonymous 6. Be Certain it is a Divorce You Want Be certain it is a divorce you want or are you feeling unloved and unappreciated? Over time behaviors become automatic consequently the response to a situation also becomes automatic, i.e. anger and frustration. Do you find yourself arguing, and saying things, that are repetitive such as “you never listen.” “Why do I bother, you are never happy with what I do.” Instead of continuing with the same behavior, make a conscious decision to change how you react in doing so you can change your relationship for the better. ~ Karen Bashford, Inner Child Connector and Guide, Hypnotherapist, Money Mindset and Abundance Coach, Financial Educator. 7. Focus on Building the Life You Want Divorce your spouse, not your life: if you are at the point of divorcing, there was a part of you, hidden or not, that new it was the next step for the life you wanted to create. Focus on building your life even when you are in the process of divorcing, it will give you the headspace to make choices that work for you instead of choices that are a result of your divorce. ~ Sophie Mihalko, Divorce Empowerment Coach 8. Self-Care and Support With divorce comes loneliness. You may feel that the only cure for loneliness is either get back the life you lost (which you can’t) or find a replacement (which won’t work). But there is a different way and one that does work. It starts with understanding that loneliness is within you, and that means that you have the power to heal it, just like you have the power to feel loved, appreciated and supported again. It’s a journey and it starts with two essential steps: self-care and reaching out for support. ~ Halina Goldstein, Loneliness To Love Mentor 9. Mediate, Mediate, Mediate!! Don’t run out and hire an attorney, mediate! Attorneys only make the divorce process last longer than it should. I am over three years into a divorce and at our court appointed date we will play “let’s make a deal” with my life, listening to an offer from my almost ex. All the time and money and pounds of paperwork and it comes down to something as simple as this. If someone had warned me that it would end up this way I would have insisted on mediation. ~ Carol Johnson, Featured DM Blogger 10. Try to See Things From Their Perspective Get curious about why your ex is saying what he is saying or doing what he is doing. So often we only see things through our own lens, especially when we’re hurting. So, ask, try to see if from their perspective. Ask questions without anger or judgment about what it is they want, or why they are doing something, or how they want to do it or have it done. Then the most important thing is to keep quiet for at least 30 seconds, giving them a chance to think, pause, and respond. Then repeat. Ask if there is anything they want to add. Then wait 30 seconds more while they think, pause and respond. RESIST the urge to interrupt. I have been amazed at how this type of communication is transforming my relationship with my ex. Maybe if I had done this years ago, things would be different now. Who knows? Try it. ~ Esther Litchfield-Fink, Life Coach, and Writer 11. Get Your Financial Ducks in a Row If you are planning on getting divorced, preparation is everything. Don’t run to the courthouse to file a Complaint for Divorce. Make copies of tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements. Make a list of all your joint and individual assets/debts.  Create a “divorce” file and stay organized. If you prepare now, the process will be smoother later. ~ Jason Levoy a/k/a The Divorce Resource Guy 12. Never Play the Victim Role Don’t play the role of victim and begin to make decisions that reflect your strengths. The first step is to examine your divorce experience and self-defeating messages derived from it. Develop a mindset that relationships are our teachers. Divorce can be viewed as a catalyst for personal growth. Counseling, blogging, and reading can aid you in this process. It’s important to develop a healthy response to mistakes and failing. Give yourself permission to “think big” and want more. It’s an exciting time with all sorts of possibilities. ~ Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW, Therapist, Author, College Instructor 13. Before You File, Get Legal Advice Get legal advice. Before you file for a divorce, whether or not you want a full representation and to hire a lawyer for the final process, you still need legal advice.  If you have to pay for a consultation, do it.  It’s wise to talk to a lawyer before you attempt to handle the divorce yourself without much knowledge. Laws change constantly and there may be new laws passed that you are not aware of. Sometimes the internet doesn’t have all the answers because YOUR case is YOURS and no other person has had the same exact situation. ~ Vania Silva, Family Law Attorney 14. Separate Your Emotions from the Process The best advice I have for women going through a divorce is to separate your emotions from the process. It’s tempting for both parties to use divorce for revenge, which can lead to costly legal bills and aggravation over who gets the flat-screen or a statue in the yard. Alternatively, many women approach divorce through fear of conflict which hands over the control to your husband. Divorce is a business negotiation and it’s best to handle it as such. ~ Beth Cone Kramer is a journalist and co-founder of Divorce.ly, a seven-step program to help women develop skills and knowledge for a successful divorce and life after. 15. Do a Bit of Advanced Financial Planning Before leaving the marital home or announcing your intention to divorce, ensure you have your own bank account set up. Deposit some of the joint account funds into your new account but don’t take more than half. Also, investigate your financial status as a married couple so you don’t face big surprises during the divorce process. Uncover all assets, your spouse annual income, any debt and liquid cash before announcing to your husband that you intend to leave him. This bit of advance planning will get you set up for independence with much needed financial knowledge.” ~ Lisa Thomson, Writer, Author, Blogger 16. Align Yourself with a Financial Advocate Most “non-financial” spouses often find themselves out in the cold, as the advisor, they intended to lean on was retained by their ex-spouse. Because of this very common dilemma, The Wall Street Journal suggests divorcing your pre-divorce financial advisor as the best way to achieve post-divorce financial success. Just as you smartly obtained a competent legal advocate, you should now align in similar fashion with a financial advocate. Specifically, a board Certified Financial Planner.  From properly structuring your settlement so it last as long as you do to selecting the correct social security option, knowledge in this instance is power. ~ Mark Kinney, Certified Financial Planner 17. Believe in Yourself The thing that will hold you back from telling your spouse you want a divorce or calling an attorney is the overwhelming fear that you can’t do this. You can. Millions of other women have managed it, and so will you. It won’t be easy at first, but if you can take the first leap of faith (in yourself), the next one will be easier. You don’t have to stay in a miserable marriage. You can have a better life – on your terms. You deserve better and you’re worth it. There will come a day when you won’t question that. ~ Michaela Mitchell, Freelance Writer, Divorced Mom 18. Help Getting Through the Dark Days of Divorce My best tip consists of four musts to get you through the dark days. Self-Care.Taking care of YOU emotionally and physically is a must.  If you feel better you will do better!  Accept and Surrender to Change. Change is a constant. Embrace it. It may be scary to let go of control but it will often lead you where you need to be.  Be Fearless.Think of yourself as a warrior goddess. Have great strength with a feminine heart. Believe and take a leap of faith.  Be grateful.Your yesterday does not dictate your today. Give thanks for all you do have. Sometimes the small things in life are priceless. Look forward to the future. ~ Laney Zukerman, Author, Lessons for an Urban Goddess & The Urban Goddess Lesson 19. Don’t Treat Divorce as a Failure, But as an Experience You should stop thinking of a divorce as a failure—period. Women who struggle with low self-esteem often blame themselves for the end of their marriage and treat it as kind of a failure in their lives. Divorce is the end of your marriage, not the end of your life.  It should be perceived as another experience on our path; a closure of one thing to make a space for another one. Many new wonderful experiences will come, as soon as you genuinely open your heart for them! ~ Sarah Williams, Freelance Writer, WingmanMagazine 20. Protect Your Retirement with a QDRO If you find yourself at divorce’s door, do not assume that your divorce settlement will protect your rights to your portion of your ex-spouse’s retirement account. This is especially important if you are a mom and have spent time away from a career taking care of your family while your spouse has earned all or a majority of the income. Be sure to work with your attorney to enact a QDRO. A QDRO is a “Qualified Domestic Relations Order,” which provides a legal mechanism for dividing the retirement benefits of private pension and/or 401K plans earned by your spouse during the years of your marriage. ~ Cathy DeWitt Dunn, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Founder of Women Money & Power 21. Never Fight Around the Children or Badmouth Their Other Parent Studies show that conflict creates the most pain and turmoil for children of divorce. Keep parental battles away from your kids – even when you’re on the phone or in another room. They deserve the peace of mind. Speaking disrespectfully about your former spouse hurts your kids with anger, guilt, and confusion. They think, “If there’s something wrong with Dad or Mom, there must also be something wrong with me for loving them.” This can result in a damaged relationship with your children and resentment when they are grown. ~ Rosalind Sed ACCA, CDC, Divorce & Parenting Coach & Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network 22. Don’t Bicker Over the Little Things Never sweat the small stuff, especially when it’s on your dime. The antique clock passed down from your great-grandmother might be worth it, but if it’s a rug you bought from IKEA, let it go. It’s all just “stuff” in the end. Draw a line around it and let it go. Bickering about the little things just takes years away from your life and dollars out of your wallet. ~ Liv, Divorced Mom, Blogger at Live By Surprise   Source: 22 Divorce Experts Share What They’ve Learned About Divorce - Click to Post

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22 Divorce Experts Share What They’ve Learned About Divorce -

No matter your status…thinking about divorce, going through a divorce or moving on after a divorce, there will be work to be done on your part. Your own words, actions and thoughts undoubtedly play a role

  If you’ve made the decision to divorce your first priority should be creating a process that is beneficial to all parties involved. According to the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, divorce is far and away the most stressful life event, other than loss of a loved one to death, that we can experience.

No matter your status…thinking about divorce, going through a divorce or moving on after a divorce, there will be work to be done on your part. Whether you end up in tears or with a satisfying post-divorce life depends on countless factors. Your own words, actions and thoughts undoubtedly play a role.

One thing that will give you an advantage when it comes to divorce is soaking up all the wisdom you can from those who are experts in the divorce field. That’s why DivorcedMoms.com has taken the time to distil it down to the very best 22 experts and what they’ve learned and think you should know about divorce. We hope their words help you uncover the key to navigating divorce and creating a fantastic post-divorce life.

22 Divorce Tips from Divorce Experts

1. There is a Light at the End of the Tunnel.

You move on socially and romantically while your kids become more independent. You have two weekends a month to do what YOU want to do. Just remember, divorce only hurts for a little while and you have complete control over how much someone can hurt you.

~ Karen R. Guthrie, Esq.

2. Civil Communication Between Parents is Imperative

The best thing any family facing divorce is to assure open communication about the children. It is essential to make sure that both parents have equal access to both the schedule as well as to information.  I used the iCal app and created a schedule that would allow my ex-husband to subscribe. Google Calendar works just as well. This allowed us all to be connected without having unnecessary conversations. It also allows invitations to be accepted or declined. You didn’t get my invitation? Well, here is proof that it was sent. This leaves the obligation on the receiving party to always check their email. My favorite method of sharing and saving information has been through Evernote.  It is a free application, and you can create shared notebooks to exchange and store information.

~ Virginia Masters, DivorcedMoms blogger

3. Co-Parting is a Business

The one piece of advice that I always return to, and that I feel puts my situation into perspective time and time again is this: co-parent like business partners instead of like exes. When you parent as business partners, parents shift their focus on what is most important; the kids. So, if parenting is a business, the children are the product of the enterprise. The goal, then, is to produce happy, healthy, and well-adjusted “products”, which requires pooling resources in the most effective way possible and letting go of the petty things that get in the way of success.

~ Audrey Cade, DivorcedMoms blogger

4. Remain Sensitive to Your Children’s Needs

It is not uncommon for divorcing parents to switch their focus from being a conscious parent to becoming a distracted one.  So, remember to remain sensitive to your children’s needs as well as your own as they are also learning to cope with your divorce too!

~ Reiki Rita, Spiritual Life Coach and Parent Educator

5. Prioritize Finances

One way to prepare for your divorce is to create a list of all your assets and debts before you contact any financial or legal expert. Preparation can save you time and money. Make a list of all debts, and their interest rates. Know the equity of the home (appraisal if needed). Know what is marital property, premarital property, and second properties. List all retirement accounts and any undisclosed monies. Prioritize what is important to you. Do as much work on your own as you can prior to meeting with your legal counsel or going to any of your network of experts.

~ Kathey Batey, Divorce Support Anonymous

6. Be Certain it is a Divorce You Want

Be certain it is a divorce you want or are you feeling unloved and unappreciated? Over time behaviors become automatic consequently the response to a situation also becomes automatic, i.e. anger and frustration.

Do you find yourself arguing, and saying things, that are repetitive such as “you never listen.” “Why do I bother, you are never happy with what I do.”

Instead of continuing with the same behavior, make a conscious decision to change how you react in doing so you can change your relationship for the better.

~ Karen Bashford, Inner Child Connector and Guide, Hypnotherapist, Money Mindset and Abundance Coach, Financial Educator.

7. Focus on Building the Life You Want

Divorce your spouse, not your life: if you are at the point of divorcing, there was a part of you, hidden or not, that new it was the next step for the life you wanted to create. Focus on building your life even when you are in the process of divorcing, it will give you the headspace to make choices that work for you instead of choices that are a result of your divorce.

~ Sophie Mihalko, Divorce Empowerment Coach

8. Self-Care and Support

With divorce comes loneliness. You may feel that the only cure for loneliness is either get back the life you lost (which you can’t) or find a replacement (which won’t work). But there is a different way and one that does work. It starts with understanding that loneliness is within you, and that means that you have the power to heal it, just like you have the power to feel loved, appreciated and supported again. It’s a journey and it starts with two essential steps: self-care and reaching out for support.

~ Halina Goldstein, Loneliness To Love Mentor

9. Mediate, Mediate, Mediate!!

Don’t run out and hire an attorney, mediate! Attorneys only make the divorce process last longer than it should. I am over three years into a divorce and at our court appointed date we will play “let’s make a deal” with my life, listening to an offer from my almost ex. All the time and money and pounds of paperwork and it comes down to something as simple as this. If someone had warned me that it would end up this way I would have insisted on mediation.

~ Carol Johnson, Featured DM Blogger

10. Try to See Things From Their Perspective

Get curious about why your ex is saying what he is saying or doing what he is doing. So often we only see things through our own lens, especially when we’re hurting. So, ask, try to see if from their perspective. Ask questions without anger or judgment about what it is they want, or why they are doing something, or how they want to do it or have it done. Then the most important thing is to keep quiet for at least 30 seconds, giving them a chance to think, pause, and respond. Then repeat. Ask if there is anything they want to add. Then wait 30 seconds more while they think, pause and respond. RESIST the urge to interrupt. I have been amazed at how this type of communication is transforming my relationship with my ex. Maybe if I had done this years ago, things would be different now. Who knows? Try it.

~ Esther Litchfield-Fink, Life Coach, and Writer

11. Get Your Financial Ducks in a Row

If you are planning on getting divorced, preparation is everything. Don’t run to the courthouse to file a Complaint for Divorce. Make copies of tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements. Make a list of all your joint and individual assets/debts.  Create a “divorce” file and stay organized. If you prepare now, the process will be smoother later.

~ Jason Levoy a/k/a The Divorce Resource Guy

12. Never Play the Victim Role

Don’t play the role of victim and begin to make decisions that reflect your strengths. The first step is to examine your divorce experience and self-defeating messages derived from it. Develop a mindset that relationships are our teachers. Divorce can be viewed as a catalyst for personal growth. Counseling, blogging, and reading can aid you in this process. It’s important to develop a healthy response to mistakes and failing. Give yourself permission to “think big” and want more. It’s an exciting time with all sorts of possibilities.

~ Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW, Therapist, Author, College Instructor

13. Before You File, Get Legal Advice

Get legal advice. Before you file for a divorce, whether or not you want a full representation and to hire a lawyer for the final process, you still need legal advice.  If you have to pay for a consultation, do it.  It’s wise to talk to a lawyer before you attempt to handle the divorce yourself without much knowledge. Laws change constantly and there may be new laws passed that you are not aware of. Sometimes the internet doesn’t have all the answers because YOUR case is YOURS and no other person has had the same exact situation.

~ Vania Silva, Family Law Attorney

14. Separate Your Emotions from the Process

The best advice I have for women going through a divorce is to separate your emotions from the process. It’s tempting for both parties to use divorce for revenge, which can lead to costly legal bills and aggravation over who gets the flat-screen or a statue in the yard. Alternatively, many women approach divorce through fear of conflict which hands over the control to your husband. Divorce is a business negotiation and it’s best to handle it as such.

~ Beth Cone Kramer is a journalist and co-founder of Divorce.ly, a seven-step program to help women develop skills and knowledge for a successful divorce and life after.

15. Do a Bit of Advanced Financial Planning

Before leaving the marital home or announcing your intention to divorce, ensure you have your own bank account set up. Deposit some of the joint account funds into your new account but don’t take more than half. Also, investigate your financial status as a married couple so you don’t face big surprises during the divorce process.

Uncover all assets, your spouse annual income, any debt and liquid cash before announcing to your husband that you intend to leave him. This bit of advance planning will get you set up for independence with much needed financial knowledge.”

~ Lisa Thomson, Writer, Author, Blogger

16. Align Yourself with a Financial Advocate

Most “non-financial” spouses often find themselves out in the cold, as the advisor, they intended to lean on was retained by their ex-spouse. Because of this very common dilemma, The Wall Street Journal suggests divorcing your pre-divorce financial advisor as the best way to achieve post-divorce financial success.

Just as you smartly obtained a competent legal advocate, you should now align in similar fashion with a financial advocate. Specifically, a board Certified Financial Planner.  From properly structuring your settlement so it last as long as you do to selecting the correct social security option, knowledge in this instance is power.

~ Mark Kinney, Certified Financial Planner

17. Believe in Yourself

The thing that will hold you back from telling your spouse you want a divorce or calling an attorney is the overwhelming fear that you can’t do this. You can. Millions of other women have managed it, and so will you. It won’t be easy at first, but if you can take the first leap of faith (in yourself), the next one will be easier. You don’t have to stay in a miserable marriage. You can have a better life – on your terms. You deserve better and you’re worth it. There will come a day when you won’t question that.

~ Michaela Mitchell, Freelance Writer, Divorced Mom

18. Help Getting Through the Dark Days of Divorce

My best tip consists of four musts to get you through the dark days.

Self-Care.Taking care of YOU emotionally and physically is a must.  If you feel better you will do better!

 Accept and Surrender to Change. Change is a constant. Embrace it.

It may be scary to let go of control but it will often lead you where you need to be.

 Be Fearless.Think of yourself as a warrior goddess. Have great strength

with a feminine heart. Believe and take a leap of faith.

 Be grateful.Your yesterday does not dictate your today. Give thanks for all you

do have. Sometimes the small things in life are priceless. Look forward to the future.

~ Laney Zukerman, Author, Lessons for an Urban Goddess & The Urban Goddess Lesson

19. Don’t Treat Divorce as a Failure, But as an Experience

You should stop thinking of a divorce as a failure—period.

Women who struggle with low self-esteem often blame themselves for the end of their marriage and treat it as kind of a failure in their lives.

Divorce is the end of your marriage, not the end of your life.  It should be perceived as another experience on our path; a closure of one thing to make a space for another one. Many new wonderful experiences will come, as soon as you genuinely open your heart for them!

~ Sarah Williams, Freelance Writer, WingmanMagazine

20. Protect Your Retirement with a QDRO

If you find yourself at divorce’s door, do not assume that your divorce settlement will protect your rights to your portion of your ex-spouse’s retirement account. This is especially important if you are a mom and have spent time away from a career taking care of your family while your spouse has earned all or a majority of the income. Be sure to work with your attorney to enact a QDRO. A QDRO is a “Qualified Domestic Relations Order,” which provides a legal mechanism for dividing the retirement benefits of private pension and/or 401K plans earned by your spouse during the years of your marriage.

~ Cathy DeWitt Dunn, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Founder of Women Money & Power

21. Never Fight Around the Children or Badmouth Their Other Parent

Studies show that conflict creates the most pain and turmoil for children of divorce. Keep parental battles away from your kids – even when you’re on the phone or in another room. They deserve the peace of mind. Speaking disrespectfully about your former spouse hurts your kids with anger, guilt, and confusion. They think, “If there’s something wrong with Dad or Mom, there must also be something wrong with me for loving them.” This can result in a damaged relationship with your children and resentment when they are grown.

~ Rosalind Sed ACCA, CDC, Divorce & Parenting Coach & Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network

22. Don’t Bicker Over the Little Things

Never sweat the small stuff, especially when it’s on your dime. The antique clock passed down from your great-grandmother might be worth it, but if it’s a rug you bought from IKEA, let it go. It’s all just “stuff” in the end. Draw a line around it and let it go. Bickering about the little things just takes years away from your life and dollars out of your wallet.

~ Liv, Divorced Mom, Blogger at Live By Surprise

  Source: 22 Divorce Experts Share What They’ve Learned About Divorce –