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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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mtmte liveblog issue 30

30 issues wow...forget the fact that I skipped like 5 issues of crossover event nonsense

another big ole swerve recap omg

this trial is so messsyyyyyyyyy lmao

hvbajdfbahsjkfdbhjs starscream listening to meagtrons speech looking like ‘hmmmmmmm I may have miscalculated’

prowl looks pissed af meanwhile optimus just looks dead inside lmao

I mean. megatron kinda does have a point. this is like, the most biased, conflict of interests lookin trial of all time, in that all the major participants have some sort of long, complicated history with each other. what a mess

optimus, listening to megatron’s speech: wow this is worse than divorce court was

oh shit I totally forgot that those decepticons attacked the trial

MAGNUS HAMMER AYYYYYY

a guy saying ‘objection!’ as optimus prime punches half his face off...that pretty much sums up idw op lmao

op: oh thank god, I can punch shit now. I'm not cut out for this bureaucracy nonsense

megatron: thanks, random decepticon, for the attempted rescue, but I'm super old and I just want to nap so no thanks

random decepticon: wtf- [gets murdered by optimus prime]

I love op’s big ass antennae

meanwhile, brainstorm goes to a bar and instead of buying anything, pulls out his own drink. I feel like that isn't allowed in most bars, or is at least frowned up vbsjdhfbhjdkfn. ily brainstorm

also? big ass mood I was so broke last time I was on a barhopping vacation w/friends that I brought a cheap giantass bottle of mixed drink in my backpack and just drank that at all the bars lmao

WHIRLLLL I love his humansona sm. and also I love that whirl is into artsy french movies or w/e omg

brainstorm, drinking thru a wrist funnel: sorry I cant take my mask off rn it isn’t plot relevant yet

‘earthlets’ lmao

I love that rung is like, too pretentious to care that much about movies and would rather read earth books lol

and then bluestreak is like ‘yeah they have books...comic books’ can this man not read

I still cannot fuckign believe that the argument that got megatron out of a for-sure death sentence or w/e was ‘its not a war crime if we’re on the moon’ liiiiike what the actual hell lmao

also I love that, once again, we see magnus’s strict adherence to the law, technicalities and all

magnus: you cant really stop a trial and move it somewhere else where the laws are better suited to the outcome you desire

prowl: what are you, a cop? fuck off

also op being like ‘ok whatever all that doesn't matter...what DOES matter is that it would look bad for us to move the trial to cybertron in an obvious attempt to circumvent the rules, and public perception is what’s most important, fuck all that ‘morality’ bullshit’

meanwhile, rodimus is dead! and ambulon is also dead, which makes first aid sad, which makes ME sad

ayyy, rodimus is still alive! well, one rodimus is alive, at least

rodimus and megatron really have the vibes of ‘stepfather and stepson forced to work together on a family road trip gone wrong after dad decided to sit this one out’ lmao

ah yes, ‘malaise’ the medical diagnostic term for ‘I don't feel so hot and idk why’ that practitioners like to throw under the ‘diagnostic notes’ section of lab orders to explain why they're ordering every blood test under the sun for a patient

I love medical terminology. ANYWAYS

BE NICE TO MY BOY MEGATRON.

rodimus: listen I have to come to terms with the fact that there's another version of me right here, and he’s DEAD, which means we can’t fuck, which is super lame

I firmly believe that rodimus would be team ‘hell yeah id have sex with my AU self’ tbh

I find it interesting that megatron is often casting blame for his actions onto others - here, he says that rodimus made him realize he doesn’t want to stop doing stuff w/his life, and then says that starscream forced his hand w/the whole ‘luna 2 law’ thing, and previously he’s said how whirl beating him up in jail is what led to him abandoning pacifism - take responsibility for your actions and decisions dude!

though he goes on to say here that he resorted to violence because he realized that the system that was in place could withstand everything else he would have tried to use to change it, which is super interesting

megatron: okay, yes, I MIGHT have murdered billions, but I could help find us a new planet, which would be baller, sooooo...how about you co-opt your lame son’s frat boy ship and put me in charge?

op: sounds fair to me. now how about we do some more Big Speeches before I make you somebody else’s problem

vbhdjskfbhaskdjf the ‘team rodimus’ lineup setup reminds me so much of the ‘together we make the ______’ meme with the different members being like, ‘the power’ ‘the gay’ ‘the awesome’ ‘the guy with no ears’ hbvhjdkfbs

chromedome: if I do this I could die

rodimus: that sounds like a you problem bro

‘this one time’ YEA RIGHT c'mon cd honor your dead husband’s wishes

omfg I forgot abt brainstorms ‘early early warning system’ lmao

I love nautica soooo much oh man

ooooof drift :( :( oh no

dead future rodimus!! uh oh is right

rodimus, known himbo: I'm sure I can defeat the inevitability of future events! all I have to do is cut my own arm off!

tailgateeeee he’s so cute...I love that he can tell stories of his daring escapades, just like at the beginning of mtmte, but this time its actually TRUE

OH SHITTTT GETAWAY

he looks so fucking sinister there lmao how are we NOT supposed to realize he has bad intentions from the get-go

‘you’ll make a prime one day’ well, getaway, you’re right about that at least...

cyclonus in the bg like 🤨🤔 at getaway

seriously I cant get over how getaway has such a slimy kinda vibe to him, like specifically in his interactions w/tailgate - this is before things even really take off but I'm still like TG GET AWAY (lol) FROM THIS GUY

cyclonus: somebody flirting with my crush? better go stare out a window instead of communicating absolutely anything to said crush about my feelings!

honestly I feel like, while megatron renouncing the decepticons and becoming an autobot is certainly interesting, it would be equally interesting for him to remain a decepticon but try to change the philosophy of the movement

like, I get why op had him give that speech - to prevent the cons from trying to free megs again/thinking that he was being coerced into things (ironic considered he WAS coerced into giving that speech) - but it’s kinda the easy way our for megatron - being able to completely abandon the decepticon cause and not deal with it at all, and start over anew as an autobot

it would've been a lot harder to remain a con and try to reform what he has broken in the decepticon movement - but I think that would've been really interesting

though from a writing logistics standpoint, I get why jro didn't go for that bc we don't get a lot of other decepticons in the cast for that to work, and also megatron still definitely DOES have to face down all his mistakes w/the decepticons w/the djd and overlord and whatnot

anyways. I cant believe that all megatron had to do to join the lost light was make ONE speech denouncing the decepticons. like, they should've at least had him do a tiktok dance too or something, just to make it a really tough deal

I love the rodpod vbhjfsdkfbjaskjndfj

ok but I still don't really get the logic of making megs CAPTAIN like ouch. poor rodimus

I feel like making megs a bartender at swerves or st would've been WAY more useful in showing him humility or w/e. OR it would've made him evil again, which, fair,

ratchet: don't worry, we’ll medically poison him, it’ll be fine

ok but rodimus is right, this is SO messy, op wants to prove his ex husband isn't 100% evil so he’s like ‘ill let my rebellious son deal with him’ lmao god. I love this setup so much, its so wild

ratchet is also right, rodimus’s fuckup definitely pales in comparison to megatrons All That

OH BRUTALLLLLLLL when ratchet says the list is fake ‘because my name’s not on it’ FUCKING OUCHHHHH

‘only bad guys say ‘unhand me” rodimus ily

omfg ‘we’ve practiced this’ of course they've done evacuation drills...magnus ily

lmao it’s the panel where it looks like rodimus and megatron are doing karaoke or having some sort of rap battle

and the lost light is GONE! oh shit!!!!

and there closes issue 30! once again we’ve gotten a lot of setup and exposition - which, while definitely necessary, means I don't have too much to say

I will say, throwing megatron onto the lost light has definitely mixed things up, and it’s interesting to see new dynamics already forming

so, until next time!

#lj rereads mtmte

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afterspark-podcast · 6 years ago

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G1 Episode 10: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: And his uncle Benjamin who gets eaten by a cannibal! And he's just so angry.

O: [Laughter] Can you blame him?

[Intro Music Plays]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 10: War of the Dinobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Mm-hmm

O: So, we open with Chip viewing a ‘dangerous’ meteor through a telescope.

S: We got our boy, Chip, back!

O: I’m glad, he's- Chip’s a good boy.

S: He's the best! He's the best human so far.

O: Yeah.

S: I think he will continue to be the best human-

O: I have a hard time picking between him and Raoul, to be honest.

S: Yeah.

O: I really like Raoul but I also really like Chip so I have a hard time picking. And like, I feel like Raoul might win just ever so slightly because I like him and Tracks together more but Chip still- he's up there. He's like my second favorite, if nothing else.

S: We need both of them and Carly to show up in an episode in some new series

O: I know! And they never do in G1 which is really disappointing because, like, I like all these characters but we never actually- like, I think we get to see Chip and Carly interact and we get to see like Chi- oh, not Chip-

S: Spike and Raoul?

O: Spike and Carly, and Chip and Spike but I don't think we really get to see a lot of the other ones interact.

S: Yeah.

O: Which is a pity. Anyway, Chip calls the Autobots because they’re ones who can save the Earth from this meteor, apparently?

S: Nevermind that it apparently lands more or less safely but who the hell cares? Spike is chilling in Optimus’s cab on a ride to the obs- observatory, you know, like a- like teenage boys do.

O: No worries, dad, I'm not going out drinking and driving! I'm just gonna ride in my giant alien robot friend! Optimus’ burning conviction to save the earth once he, ah, you know, figures out what's going on shines through as he clenches his fist and it's covered with red electricity!

S: How very anime of you, Optimus.

O: Indeed. Uh, Optimus decides they need to get to the meteor before the Decepticons do because it might be a power source. Apparently. And opts to take the Dinobots as back up.

S: I don't think they thought this through. At all?

O: [Laughter] I don’t think they did either!

S: Meanwhile, Megatron totally rages against the machine.

O: Or at least the fact of the Dinobots kicked their ass.

S: [Laughter] Yeah. So it's Tuesday night- time for Starscream and Megatron's weekly tiff.

O: Of course! Megatron insults Starscreams’ strategies and orders Soundwave to find the Dinobots weak points.

S: You know, as one does.

O: Of course.

S: Soundwave flies off to spy on the Dinobots.

O: Slash Autobots.

S: Yes, the Autobots, sorry.

O: Which, of course, means he lands near them. And then Soundwave, a giant 30-foot tall robot, does this by sneaking against the side of a building. It is great.

S: Oh, I feel we should probably mention that the meteor, like, lands in, like, the middle of this sort of bombed out looking town which is across the river from a perfectly ordinary looking town, or whatever.

O: Did I miss that part where it was across the river?

S: There's a bridge or something I think? Well, it's separated, somehow, I don't remember.

O: Regardless, yeah, it basically landed in this like very bombed out looking place perfectly fine? So I don't know why there was this whole “They've got a save the earth.”

S: Yeah but so, yeah, Soundwave is basically sneaking through ruins.

O: Yes but of course he's still a 30 foot robot so, you know, he sends out a good old listening tentacle.

S: It makes snake sound effects. It's kind of weird.

O: I love it.

S: The Autobots are trying to get a twofer for putting their allies in danger today as they brought along both Chip and Spike.

O: Because that was a good idea. And okay, Soundwave has been beat out for worse naming schemes to fucking Spike. Spike suggests they named the meteorite after Chip as the meteorroni chipperoni?

S: Meteorini Chiporoni or whatever.

O: Oh god, it's terrible. Anyway, shut up Spike!

S: It's a pretty fucking big meteor, I guess? About the size of Optimus Prime though whether it was bigger when it was- before, you know, burning through the atmosphere is another thing entirely and I mean honestly it probably should have, like, had a crater.

O: Yeah, it really didn’t. Like it might have but it wasn't very deep. Uh, they extract a sample from the meteorite--via shooting at it.

S: Extraction via gun. It's the fastest but definitely not the safest way to do this when you're afraid that goddamn thing is gonna blow up.

O: We don’t know that yet.

S: Well, they keep talking about how it's possibly dangerous soooo.

O: You know, I sometimes question Wheeljack’s science credentials.

S: Except isn’t Optimus shooting the thing? I don’t remember.

O: Maybe it was, but Wheeljack’s the one who asked for a sample.

S: True. And the Dinobots are left behind to guard the meteor, as one does.

O: Of course.

S: Chip describes seeing the Autobots transform as ‘outrageous’!

O: What show does he think he's in? Jem and the Holograms?

S: Well, it could be argued that they’re all in the same universe.

O: [Laughter] We’re not getting into that, but yes!

S: So they just decide to leave their young, impressionable, and not so smart babies behind without supervision to guard the meteor.

O: What could go wrong, am I right?

S: I mean they stick them- they leave them in a closet most of the time so, ok, no one get- no one ever gave them the stranger-danger talk.

O: [Laughter] So true.

S: Seriously, they couldn't leave Wheeljack and/or Ratchet with them? Ratchet? Someone?

O: You would think? I mean, like, clearly they shouldn’t be left here by themselves. Hence, Optimus despite trying to offline them a few episodes back says he's pleased with the Dinobots and is going to order two more.

S: [Sighs] Their family planning is not good.

O: No, no it’s not. Once back at the base, Chip suggests a Stegosaurus and a Pteranodon for the two new dinos. Ratchet and Wheeljack seem to agree with this.

S: They think it's a hot idea.

O: [Laughter] They just wanna make more babies.

S: Yeah, and Sparkplug asks if there's anything Chip doesn't know about. Spike and Chip just, like, share a look that seems to say, “Good question.”

O: Chip: Resident super genius. Back at the Dinobots, Soundwave continues spying by initiating a brain scan with a scanner that pops out of his head.

S: [Sighs]

O: [Laughter]

S: Because, of course, we've got a- we've got the weird. We've got this listening tentacle and now we’ve got brain scan time. I mean, yeah, okay you're psychic but whatever.

O: I mean, at least we've seen the listening tentacle pop up a few times at this point.

S: This breaks down to Slag wants to fight, Grimlock who wants to be the boss man and Sludge just wants to follow whoever’s strongest cuz apparently, well, he's not good at critical thinking.

O: He’s not.

S: But I don't think any of them are especially good at that. Though we did look at the tech specs and Grimlock is indeed the smartest of them.

O: Or at least in the toys- in the comics that, uh, begs to be seen if that's relevant. If that's the exact same stats here.

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron seems to translate this information slightly differently, with Slag is hostile, Grimlock is arrogant and Sludge is stupid. Poor, poor Sludge.

S: Yeah.

O: The evil plan for today is to use this information to make them fight against Optimus Prime and steal the meteor.

S: So we're just gonna make babies do shit today.

O: I'm gonna go with yes?

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: I remain convinced Megatron has a bling obsession as he is way too damn excited about big shiny rocks.

S: I mean there were those rubies. There was that giant thing in South America. There's these- I feel like there have been more rocks. There's going to be more rocks in the future.

O: Yeah ju- he has a thing for bling. Optimus just needs to get him bling and then propose to Megatron and the war would be over. Just give the man his bling.

S: Yeah.

O: The Seekers attack the Dinobots, who defend themselves.

S: They gave the babies guns, probably with little to no proper training on said weapons because the Autobots are morons.

O: [Laughter] Well, the Autobots just aren't good with Sparklings, me thinks.

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron lands and several things happen all at once. Namely, that Megatron takes three dyno beams/fire to the face with absolutely no issue what-so-fucking-ever. He literally tosses his fusion cannon off to the side, he basically is like, “Why can't we just be friends? I just want to talk to you guys.”

S: The Dinobots fall for Megatron's flattery as he tells them they are stronger than him and stronger than all the other Autobots.

O: Leading Grim to reach the conclusion that, “He, Grimlock should be leader.” Oh you idiots, my poor, poor dumb Dino idiots.

S: Poor Dino babies.

O: They deserve better.

S: And meanwhile the Seekers take off with the meteorite that the Dinobots were guarding. Like, they literally toss out these, like, grappling hook things from their bellies and they latch onto the meteor and it just looks really goofy.

O: Ah, back at base- are ya ready for a montage?

S: We’re ready for a montage!

O: We- we see that plans are underway to build the new Dinobots.

S: God, Sparkplug--is holding a document that says, “outline plan desge.”

O: [Laughter] Someone couldn’t spell design.

S: Or they couldn't fit it and they didn't care. Or they just didn't speak English or something.

O: Or they were, like, nobody will see this. And then DVDs came along and whoops! Making babies though, it's totally something the whole family can enjoy together.

S: [Laughter] Yeah, and Wheeljack calls Optimus to his lab to tell them that the meteorite is unstable as fuck and could literally explode at any second!

O: This is important because we need to show off Trailbreaker’s super-secret awesome ability to create force fields which he promptly uses to contain the conveniently timed explosion that happens immediately after.

S: I mean we saw the force shield stuff when they were off on Cybertron with the acid rain that time, so this isn't exactly a surprise but it's a new use of it.

O: I guess.

S: Because, yeah, he just surrounds the thing and then it blows itself up and that's fine.

O: Everything's fine. The base is fine. Wheeljack is fine. Optimus is fine.

S: There isn't even, like, a smear or whatever. I don’t know. And so, hey! They learned something from the first Dinobot disaster, so no showing off the Dinobots indoors by the Ark [I meant, Teletraan 1. ~Specs] They're gonna show Swoop and Snarl off outside instead of next to freaking Teletraan 1!

O: [Laughter] You know, the thing that controls their entire base.

S: They learned a thing!

O: They did learn a thing! Swoop and Snarl seem to be slightly smarter than their compatriots, with Swoop using a more grammatically correct sentence than we normally hear from a Dinobot.

S: And the new Dinobots are solar powered, at least Snarl is. They probably both are and I guess go back to the intelligence thing apparently Swoop and Snarl have “7” according to their toy tech specs. Well, “7” in intelligence.

O: Which is still more than the other Dinobots, aside from Grimlock, right?

S: Yeah, Grimlock was an “8.” I think Sludge was a “3,” which just makes me sad.

O: Poor Sludge, poor baby.

S: Yeah, not sure about-

O: I just want to give Sludge a hug.

S: Yeah. Not sure about, uh, Slag or Slug. I feel like he was a “5.”

O: Maybe he was.

S: But I don't remember. And- oh god- and then Ratchet and Wheeljack just tell basically everybody to try and take out the Dinobots cause-

O: I'm not! I’m not sure who I think this is being mean to: the Dinobots or to everyone else.

S: Cuz the Dinobots do a number on everyone. Yeah. Sideswipe is super goddamn excited to fight and gets a pretty good punch on Swoop in.

O: Swoop and Snarl pretty much wipe out everybody else, though.

S: Yeah, I think someone gets picked up and dropped and... Yeah, none of the Autobots are having a grand old time. And then Optimus shows up where they left the other three Dinobots, who are now missing along with the meteorite because we saw what happened earlier.

O: Exactly! And we get to see his tiny antenna pop out of his helm as he calls the base. It’s great!

S: The Dinobots then pop out of nowhere and triple-team Optimus. Optimus makes a plea for the Dinobots to stop this but naturally this fails. Um. [clears throat] Optimus is also making strange moaning noises again through this. I wish he would stop. [Laughter]

S: Oh god, I'm not sure how either of us could, like, do the keyboard smashing noise.

O: [Laughter] I- that was. I knew I was gonna have to be the one to say that anyway, so I was just like [incoherent noise]!

S: And so Optimus is knocked on his ass. Like, he's literally knocked into some sort of fissure or something?

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, um. Well, he’s knocked on his aft or his ass or whatever. Grimlock shows a smidgen of discomfort at the idea of murdering a helpless opponent, because, apparently, he has some sort of honour even though he is a small child- basically, a very young person who has not had a whole lot of, um, moral education.

O: As Optimus puts it when he gets back up, he blathers something about “traces of Autobot training.” [Laughter]

S: What training? You stuffed them in a closet!

O: In the next shot, Grimlock has clearly stolen Optimus’ gun as he reports in to Megatron about Prime’s defeat.

S: Because he literally just has it under his arm?

O: Yeah, he has it. Yeah, yeah, I feel a little weirded out that I can actually tell Prime's gun apart from everybody else’s now, but I can.

S: That's what happens.

O: That’s what happens when you play the freakin PS4 game so much and you end up playing as everybody including Optimus Prime despite only wanting to play as Wheeljack! I actually feel bad because I'm like, Grimlock’s in that one. I love Grimlock. I think I don't like playing as him because he's hard. He's basically constantly swapping between robot mode and Dino mode the entire time. It's kind of a pain in the ass.

S: Hmm.

O: Elsewhere, we see Megatron overseeing the filling of Energon cubes from the meteor or where they’ve taken the meteor anyway.

S: Yeah, Soundwave is making more Tupperware cubes again and then seems to defy all laws of physics as he shoots the meteorite and, somehow, this causes a flow of energy to fill up the Energon cubes.

O: Despite them being, like, not near each other, it's very strange.

S: Yeah, it’s kind of- kind of kooky.

O: And, for once, Starscream makes an accurate observation that the meteorite energy seems unstable.

S: And Megatron's a dick about it.

O: Of course! Nevermind that Starscream is, in fact, a scientist, but whatever!

S: Then the Dinobots show up dragging Optimus with them, you know, like the dead weight he is right now.

O: [Laughter] Ouch! Uh, Megatron is rather pissed that Optimus isn’t fucking dead.

S: And Starscream says that Grimlock will never destroy Optimus, begging Megatron not to listen to Grim.

O: Give the bot credit, where credit is due- he is on a roll today. Starscream is on a roll today.

S: He is, and Optimus also attempts to tell Megatron that the meteorite’s unstable, so that's two people telling him it's unstable.

O: Yes, Megatron ignores this, too.

S: At the Ark, Wheeljack has tracked down where the Decepticons have taken the meteor and the Autobots send out Snarl and Swoop to help.

O: Megatron’s unstable Energon stash finally explodes sending Reflector and poor Soundwave flying.

S: There were some really funny photos from that.

O: There were, it was pretty great.

S: Mmhmm. And Starscream gives Megatron his best, “I told you so!”

O: [Laughter] Swoop and Snarl show up via flying and Megatron orders the other three Dinobots to transform and attack.

S: The Dinobots fight, Swoop getting the short end of the stick fight-wise because one of his wings gets chomped on.

O: Yeah,

S: At least a few times.

O: It looks painful, poor baby.

S: Poor kid. Like, he's just woken up, he's like-

O: And now his older brothers are chomping on him!

S: He's now an hour old or something.

O: [Laughter] Starscream and Megs flee as the meteorite threatens to explode and Optimus tackles Grimlock out of the way of the explosion.

S: This looks an awful lot like that bit in Fantasia with all the dinosaurs.

O: [Chuckles] Grimlock, understandably, is now pissed at Megatron.

S: And Megatron does the smart thing and orders a retreat to escape the angry t-rex.

O: Angry, big t-rex.

S: Yeah.

O: I'm glad a camera, a cassette and a cassette deck can fly. [Laughter]

S: Yeah, and then the cavalry arrives in the form of the rest of the Autobots. Of course.

O: Of course! And Grimlock apologizes for, you know, trying to kill Optimus.

S: Optimus Prime kind of ignores this apology. It's like, “I'm not forgiving or forgetting,” as sort of an undertone here.

O: Seems like, he’s like, “I'm going to give you some long-winded speech that's not going to address your apology in any way.”

S: Yeah,

O: And that's the end of episode so we're now up to five Dinobots because more is always better when it comes to dinosaurs.

S: Yeah.

O: Join us next time for the beginning of another three parter, The Ultimate Doom, Part 1. Or the episode that third Bay movie was basically based on.

S: Yeah, or the trio of episodes or whatever.

O: Yeah [Laughter].

S: Ok, so we've got the fanfiction recommendations.

O: Yup!

S: Gotta do it, there's only the two of them and they're both by the same person. One of which is a sequel to something that I recommended earlier. Alright, so for a first recommendation we have “Art in Me” by Nightwind. Continuity's G1 cartoon, rated K. It’s Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots, Prowl, Red Alert, Wheeljack, and Ratchet.

S: Okay, so “Art in Me” is a sequel to a story that Nightwind had written earlier called “Vigil” and so the summary is, “The Autobots might have a budding Picasso on their hands. Who might it be?”

O: [Chuckles]

S: And so our theme for actually both of these recs or recommendations were “Dinobot shenanigans”-

O: Yes!

S: Because we now have all five Dinobots and as, um, I’ve been keeping track of things were in a series or one-shots or whatever, this is a sequel to Vigil, also by Nightwind.

S: And our second recommendation- there's only the two of them today- is Crosses to Bear, as I have said before, also by Nightwind. G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T. It's Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots and various Autobots. And in summary, “It’s Swoop and a few other crazy Autobots versus a really big chunk of rock with Track's life hanging in the balance. Rating upped a bit to due to Trailbreaker’s gratuitous use of a certain expletive.”

S: Expletive. God.

O: Expleti- Expletive.

S: [Laughter] A certain curse word!

O: There you go!

S: Okay, and yeah. Dinobot shenanigans and that's the two fanfiction recommendation. Do we have fan art recommendations?

O: No, it’s an even numbered episode.

S: Ah.

O: Well, we’ll have fan art next week, though!

S: Yep.

O: Well, next episode, not next--we post every two weeks but you know what I mean.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort at Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, Stitcher and YouTube, just to name a few. Till next time!

S: I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music Plays]

#g1 episode 10 #transcript #afterspark podcast

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tyrantisterror · 8 years ago

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Slightly More Detailed Character Nonsense for Baron Skeleton

It is weird how I’ve made more progress on this story concept in the last couple of days than I have in rest of the couple of years since I came up with it.

This builds off of/refines the rambling brainstorm stuff I did in this post, just in case you missed it.

Baron Skeleton Character List

Size Classes from Smallest to Largest: Scout, Basic, Deluxe, Mega

Villain Team

Baron Skeleton

Character Role: Big Bad

Motifs: Skeleton, Cobra Commander, Skeletor

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: Snap on Chest Armor

Personality: Manic and almost perpetually annoyed, Baron Skeleton is prone to spiteful rants and loud tantrums. While anger and frustration are basically his default emotions, he rarely directs these feelings at the people around him, being more likely to rant about bad luck or society being rigged instead. Despite his volatile temper, he’s actually far more patient with his henchmen’s quirks that you’d expect, and genuinely likes the people he works with. Unlike the villains he’s based off of, Baron Skeleton is never abusive to his underlings and generally tries his best to accommodate their needs and desires in his schemes, even if doing so often results in failure. Though he talks as though his worlview is bleak and cynical, Baron Skeleton notably refuses to ever give up the fight – he always has another scheme for victory after each defeat, and rarely dwells on his failures for long before moving on to the next plan.

Meta Stuff: As the show’s protagonist, he’d get a lot of toy variants with different gimmicks, like “dragon blast armor” and the like. The show would work these in as clumsily as possible.

Snakeman

Character Role: Big Bad’s Wacky Sidekick

Motifs: Snake, Barbarian

Size Class: Deluxe

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Though technically Baron Skeleton’s number two, Snakeman’s real function is as Baron Skeleton’s best friend. As the second in command, Snakeman is terrible – he can never keep Baron Skeleton’s plans straight even on the rare occasions where he actually listens to them, and always ends up derailing things by “winging it.” As a best friend, though, he’s marvelous – he’s always there to listen to Baron Skeleton’s problems, and he’s always doing his best to cheer Baron Skeleton up. One could say that Snakeman gives Baron Skeleton what he needs instead of what he wants. Snakeman is also a very chill boss to the other underlings, rarely dolling out punishments and always willing to hear them out. Like most of the bad guys, he can actually be a competent fighter when he applies himself – he just rarely ever does so.

Meta Stuff: Snakeman’s design should be as He-Man-y as we dare to get.

Newbie/Edgelord

Character Role: Fish Out of Water, Eviler Than Thou

Motifs: Grimdark villain

Size Class: Scout as Newbie, Deluxe as Edgelord

Toy Gimmicks: Clip On Spike Armor (Edgelord only)

Personality: Newbie’s role in the first season is to be the fish out of water character who triggers exposition from the pre-established characters, but overall his real purpose is to contrast the bad guy’s outdated style of supervillainy with a more modern Grim & Gritty take. Newbie is the only bad guy who is legitimately evil rather than just weird and antisocial. He views murder as the best solution, and all of his suggestions for plans essentially boil down to “kill as many people as possible.” He’s sadistic and cruel, and the other bad guys are ultimately unsettled by him (though many, Baron Skeleton included, still try to turn him around to their way of thinking). Once he becomes Edgelord, he dives straight into the most Grimdark of villainy, doing his best to put every face-removing Joker to shame. Edgelord is the one character on the show that the audience is invited to hate without any regret.

Meta Stuff: While Newbie’s action figure should just be a variant of the Henchskull figure (with a different head and color scheme), Edgelord’s should be a 100% new mold to better make him stand out as a character from a very different take on the superhero genre.

Gargruel

Character Role: Starscream

Motifs: Demon/Gargoyle, Gaudiness

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: Clip On Armor (more elaborate than Baron Skeleton’s)

Personality: Gargruel is a perpetual traitor, trying to usurp Baron Skeleton’s leadership at every opportunity. It is literally a pathological tendency of his, and one of the rest of the bad guys have just learned to deal with. Perhaps the hammiest of the villains, almost every word out of his mouth is a loud, theatrical declaration of his superior mind and strength. Of course, Gargruel is nowhere near as clever or strong as he thinks he is, and always ends up overreaching. Despite his superiority complex, the others consider him a friend, and he is always quickly forgiven for his repeated betrayals (especially since they tend to implode on him almost immediately). It helps that he can actually be a pretty nice guy on the rare occasions where he isn’t talking himself up.

Meta Stuff: Gargruel’s outfit should look like a much flashier/gaudier take on Baron Skeleton’s. His toy would probably even be a retool of Baron Skeleton’s toy, with different gloves, boots, and clip on armor as well as a new head.

Galvanstein

Character Role: Fanatical Loyalist

Motifs: Frankenstien, Executioner

Size Class: Deluxe

Toy Gimmicks: Spring-loaded Extendo-Fists

Personality: An utter sycophant, Galvanstein is a yes man and Baron Skeleton’s greatest enabler. Galvanstein is utterly devoted to his boss and believes every idea Baron Skeleton has ever had is absolute genius. The only reason they fail, he reasons, is that the other henchmen aren’t pulling their weight, which is why Galvanstein is overly critical of his peers. He’s not a complete dick to them though – after all, Baron Skeleton clearly saw potential in them, so they must have some good sides. Galvanstein’s loyalty is his greatest weakness, as he can never bring himself to admit that his boss is flawed. Likewise, he has no improvisational skills – while he will gleefully carry out Baron Skeleton’s orders to the letter, he is at an absolute loss whenever a plan gets derailed and forces him to think for himself.

Meta Stuff:

Nosferoi

Character Role: TFP Soundwave

Motifs: Vampire, Boba Fett/Samus/Cool Helmeted Space Warrior

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: Grappling Hook Claw, Removable helmet

Personality: Quiet and thoughtful, Nosferoi is the most competent villain in Baron Skeleton’s organization by a long shot. She has the highest success rate of any henchmen, pulling off her tasks efficiently and with a great deal of style. When she contributes to a plot, her suggestions are always cunning and well-reasoned. If she was the gang’s leader, they would have won ages ago – but she doesn’t want to be a leader. In fact, Nosferoi is much happier as a henchman. She likes following orders more than giving them, and thinks Baron Skeleton’s schemes are far more fun to carry out than anything she could come up with, even if they’re doomed to fail. Unlike most of the other villains, she doesn’t really want to win so much as she just wants to hang out with her friends, and is content to just do her part of the job well instead of trying to fix their operation.

Meta Stuff: Nosferoi should look rad as hell.

Spinestra

Character Role: PG Seductress

Motifs: Spider, PG Rated Dominatrix

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Supposedly a master manipulator, Spinestra’s role tends to focus on finding ways to play mind games with the heroes that Baron Skeleton’s forces oppose. She’s not quite as good at this as the others think she is, but she does her best to come up with dastardly schemes to set the heroes against each other. Her real skill lies in trap making, and many of the defense systems in the villain team’s fortress are of her design. Spinestra also often helps with the team’s plans, though she’s sort of a double edged sword – her contributions are so complex that the heroes can’t follow them, but, sadly, also end up confusing the other henchmen more often than not, resulting in a bungled operation. While she tries to act cold and aloof like Nosferoi, she has a ferocious temper and cannot take criticism well.

Meta Stuff: in the vein of villains like Evil-Lyn and Baroness, Spinestra has a vague dominatrix vibe that’s intensely watered down so as not to anger parents (ignoring the fact that they could have just not made her look like a dominatrix in the first place).

Swampstomp

Character Role: Bumbling Brute

Motifs: Swamp Monster, Gill Man

Size Class: Mega

Toy Gimmicks: Tummy Prison

Personality: The muscle of the villain team, Swampstomp knows she’s valued for her brawn and not her brains, and is totally fine with that. She’s the largest of the core henchmen and hits the hardest by far. Swampstomp revels in her role as a dumb brute, cheerfully taking orders from anyone who acts even the slightest bit authoritative. When Gangruel initiates a coup, Swampstomp is generally the first to fall in line, and likewise she’s one of the first to switch back to Baron Skeleton when the old boss reasserts himself. While Swampstomp gleefully embraces her dumb muscle persona, she’s actually more perceptive and intelligent than anyone gives her credit for, herself included. Likewise, while she generally plays up her love of beating people up, she really isn’t the sadist she thinks she is, and is utterly revolted at people who are genuinely vicious.

Meta Stuff: Swampstomp’s gimmick is that she can swallow smaller figures and store them in her tummy. Because this is a pretty intricate gimmick, Swampstomp’s mold would be entirely unique, so her design has more leeway to be strange than most of the others.

Dr. Strategerm

Character Role: Straw Vulcan

Motifs: Mad Scientist, Chess, Mathletes

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: Swappable hands

Personality: Dr. Strategerm claims to value logic and rationality, and tries to reduce all problems to mathematic equations that come to one objective solution. Ironically, he is utterly irrational in his devotion to this philosophy, and will passionately argue about how emotions are distractions that keep people from being run by pure, perfected logic. Strategerm creates all the high tech weaponry and gadgets that the group uses and is prone to sesquipedalian loquaciousness. He has a notable rivalry with Hexadeth, being her foil.

Meta Stuff: Dr. Strategerm’s hands can be switched out with multiple different tools, like a claw, a hammer, a drill, etc. His toy would use Baron Skeleton’s body mold, but with a cloth labcoat draped over its torso and legs to disguise the mold reuse. His arms and head would be entirely new pieces.

Hexadeth

Character Role: Sorceress

Motifs: D&D, mummy

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: Dice of Doom Accessory

Personality: Superstitious and traditional, Hexadeth is a master of magic who insists on doing things the “old way” and hates technology. Though her magic is extremely powerful, her resistance to catch up with the times often bites her in the butt, as her enemies often use technology that she is not prepared to deal with. She has great skill in dealing with emotional and spiritual matters, but has nothing but disdain for logic and science. She often butts heads with Dr. Strategerm despite the fact that she essentially does the same thing as him – i.e. create new weapons and equipment for the others. Her dialogue is also similarly hard to parse, as she loves purple prose and antiquated linguistics.

Meta Stuff: Hexadeth’s toy uses the same body tooling as Spinestra, though it is disgused by her cloth robe and cowl. Her head, hands, feet, and shins all uses new pieces that are sculpted to look like they’re covered in bandages. Her gimmick/accessory is a set of dice – 1d20, 1d10, 1d6, and 1d4 – with different magic symbols on them, which in the show she uses to cast her magic spells. She might also come with a cup that automatically rolls them or something – we can have fun with it.

Oddserver

Character Role: Wild Card

Motifs: Eyeball, strangeness

Size Class: Mega

Toy Gimmicks: Removable Parasites

Personality: Considered weird by the other villains, which says something considering their own quirks, Oddserver is an alien juggernaut that marches to the beat of its own drummer. The enigmatic monster is unpredictable – sometimes it will follow the team’s plot to the letter, and other times it will break off and do its own thing. Oddserver’s actions always serve a purpose, one that always benefits Oddserver even if it does little if anything to help the others. While Oddserver’s nature and motives are mysterious, there are some moments where it shows clear affection for the other villains, and they consider it to be part of the team all the same.

Meta Stuff: Like Swampstomp, Oddserver’s toy is an entirely new sculpt, so it can go a little wild. I like the idea of it working sort of like some of Kenner’s Aliens toys, with lots of little parasitive creatures that can pop off the main body and work as their own monsters, but look like just a normal body part when attached to the main figure.

Griftermister

Character Role: Prankster

Motifs: Goblin, Pranks

Size Class: Scout

Toy Gimmicks: Bug-Out Eyes

Personality: Griftermister has a deep seated inferiority complex that drives him to drag everyone around him through the mud to feel good about himself. He is always looking for new ways to humiliate and mock others, devoting his life to practical jokes and mean spirited teasing. A dick to friend and foe alike, the other villains rarely if ever incorporate him into their schemes, and instead try to steer him towards the heroes hoping they’ll distract each other. Like many of the other villains, he’s somewhat aware of his flaw, but has no idea how to fight it. The others accept him because he has no one else to turn to, and deep down he does value their friendship – even if he can almost never bring himself to admit it.

Meta Stuff: Griftermister’s goblin head would have a lever disguised as a horn that makes his eyes (and maybe his tongue) extend out ala Rat Fink.

Wailwolf

Character Role: Defeatist

Motifs: Wolf Man, emo kid

Size Class: Deluxe

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Wailwolf is more acutely aware of how often the villain team fails than anyone else, and dwells on this constantly. For her, every battle is lost before its begun, and she only trudges on because she knows the others would be hurt if she didn’t join in with them. While her pessimism can be a bit grating, the others accept her for who she is, and sometimes inspire her with their resolute (if somewhat naïve) optimism. Or, in short, she’s basically Eeyore.

Meta Stuff: Wailwolf would reuse some of Snakeman’s sculpt, though she might require a different torso in addition to new head, hand, and feet sculpts.

Jinxlinx

Character Role: Silver Age Villain

Motifs: Black Cat, Theme Obsession

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Jinxlinx is basically every Silver Age Batman villain, having an all-consuming obsession with sticking to a particular theme for his crimes. This presents several problems, as Jinxlinx never keeps to one theme for very long, and the themes he does choose are almost always terrible and difficult to integrate into crime. The other villains try to accommodate this obsession, but it’s very hard for the aforementioned reasons. Jinxlinx is a very enthusiastic henchmen when things go his way, but panics once things fall apart.

Meta Stuff: Jinxlinx would have his own sculpt, though he may reuse arms and legs from Baron Skeleton’s toy.

Ratfang and Batfang

Character Role: Those Two Henchmen

Motifs: Rats, Bats, evil twins

Size Class: Scout

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Ratfang and Batfang are less defined by their own quirks and more by their shared dynamic. The two are never seen apart and spend most of their screentime making snarky comments, essentially being the Statler and Waldorf of the show. They’re the lowest ranking of the named henchmen, but can be pretty competent despite their lack of special powers. They prefer to just crack jokes though, and their main contribution to the show is their banter. They cannot stand to be separated.

Meta Stuff: Ratfang and Batfang would have very similar head designs, and both would wear re-colored versions of the standard Henchskull uniform. Like Newbie, they were only recently promoted from Faceless Goon to Named Henchmen.

Henchskulls

Character Role: Faceless Goons

Motifs: Cobra Troopers

Size Class: Scout

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: As a legion of incompetent soldiers, the Henchskulls are technically varied in personality, but we generally only get hints of it. Normally they’re just go-fers and minions, though most of the villains know their names and treat them like the individual people they are (which is slightly humorous since their uniforms make them all look identical). The Henchskulls are terrible at villainy, but to be fair, their leadership isn’t much better.

Meta Stuff: The henchskulls’ outfits would be similar to Baron Skeleton’s, but less elaborate. Their masks would conceal their faces and look vaguely skull like. More than a few characters are retools/redecos of the Henchskull sculpt.

Hero Team

Captain Touchdown

Character role: The Hero

Motifs: Football, Superhero

Size Class: Deluxe

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: As the leader of the heroes, Captain Touchdown comes the closest to embodying the ideals they’re supposed to stand for. In D&D terms, he is every bad stereotype about Lawful Good characters: a goody two-shoes who insists on playing by the book and insists that everyone do things his way because it’s “right.” While many of Captain Touchdown’s beliefs are noble, he’s hampered by his completely lack of empathy – he cannot understand the idea that people think differently than him, or that anyone would be dissatisfied with the status quo. “The complainer is always wrong” is practically his motto, and most of the conflicts between his team and Baron Skeleton’s is rooted in his inability to accept different points of view. While never explicitly malicious, there is a smarmy air of condescension in how Captain Touchdown interacts with others, and he treats all of his peers as if they’re ignorant children who need to be told how the world works rather than, y’know, his equals.

Meta Stuff: though Captain Touchdown’s overall design should feel very Superman-ish, like Baron Skeleton, he should also have a few slightly medieval/fantasy touches. The Football theme could be used a bit here – maybe finding some middle ground between football shoulder pads and armor?

Cheerally

Character role: The Girl

Motifs: Cheerleader, Ultra-Femininity

Size Class: Scout

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Cheerally is basically the anthropomorphic personification of what toy companies think girls act like and desire. She dresses in pink and pastels, she loves ponies and cute things, and her role on the team is essentially to provide moral support and act as a sort of surrogate mother. None of these traits are negative, of course, but Cheerally doesn’t get a great deal of respect in the group because of her perceived role, and rarely feels comfortable voicing her opinions. She’s somewhat aware of the fact that she’s not quite getting a fair deal, but she doesn’t know how to get the others to listen to her concerns.

Meta Stuff: If we were going super meta, Cheerally probably wouldn’t even HAVE a toy in the toyline, as the token girls of these shows often weren’t expected to sell merchandise well. But let’s be nice and give her a toyetic deisgn anyway – albeit one that’s unique, since she probably wouldn’t be likely to get many retools.

Hooper Trooper

Character role: The Lancer

Motifs: Basketball, Future Warrior

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Hooper Trooper is the second in command of the Hero Team, though that doesn’t mean a whole lot. In a more complex take on hero team dynamics, he’d be a foil to Captain Touchdown, but since 80’s hero teams hated interpersonal strife, he’s basically little more than a slightly more lax copy of his leader, and generally just acts as a yes-man.

Meta Stuff: His head is a giant basketball, and maybe removable?

Basebarian

Character role: The Big Guy

Motifs: Baseball, Barbarian, Caveman

Size Class: Mega

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: The big guy to the hero team, Basebarian isn’t particularly smart, but he’s got a lot of muscle. His ignorance will often be treated as a joke by the other heroes, and often people laugh at him without him truly understanding why. Thankfully, he’s not aware enough to realize just how poorly he’s being treated, and takes it all in stride.

Meta Stuff: Though he lacks an overt gimmick like the other mega figures, Basebarian does have multiple trick baseball accessories – including one that’s on fire, one covered in buzzsaws, etc.

Rockem Soccer

Character role: The Smart Guy

Motifs: Soccer, Cyborg

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Explicitly part robot and part man, Rockem Soccer is the smartest of the core five members of the hero team, although that doesn’t extend beyond memorizing a lot of facts and trivia – none of the team are very big on creative problem solving. Though his intellectualism is sometimes a boon, more often the not it just annoys his team-mates, who often tell him to stop rattling off his useless trivia.

Meta Stuff: Rockem Soccer would probably reuse some parts from Hooper Trooper, though his legs would have to be entirely new pieces.

Pukamok

Character role: The Loose Canon

Motifs: Hockey, Mad Max

Size Class: Deluxe

Toy Gimmicks: Puck-Canons

Personality: An aloof ally, Pukamok is sarcastic and far less “goodie goodie” than the other heroes, almost fitting better with the villain team. There is constant tension when he does work with the heroes, as his personality does not mesh well with their high standards of how heroes should act. He tends to struggle to win against the villains a lot more too – some would say it’s because of his independent streak, though others might note that the other heroes do little to include him or look out for his safety.

Meta Stuff: Pukamok’s toy would probably reuse parts from both the hero AND villain figures, as well as some new pieces.

Wrekracket

Character role: The Tomboy

Motifs: Tennis, Rock & Roll, Amazon Warrior

Size Class: Basic

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Aggressive, masculine, and itching for a fight, Wrekracket is the obligatory tomboy to Cheerally’s girly girl. As per tradition, those two do not get along well, and also as per tradition, the other team members tend to take Cheerally’s side. Like Pukamok, Wrekracket is one of the least content heroes, and one the others fear may switch sides.

Meta Stuff: Wrekracket would use some parts from Spinestra’s mold, to further emphasize how she’s straddling the line between “hero” and “villain.”

Fortempo

Character role: Aquaman

Motifs: Marching Band

Size Class: Scout

Toy Gimmicks: Projectile-Launching Tuba

Personality: While technically a part of the hero team, Fortempo is generally shunted to the side under the assumption that his powers aren’t terrible useful – after all, how useful can music really be in the fight against evil? Fortempo desperately wants to prove he’s just a good a hero as the others, but he is rarely given the opportunity.

Meta Stuff: Fortempo’s toy would be a heavily altered version of the Henchskull sculpt, and might even have the tassle-y shoulder bits from Baron Skeleton’s toy. Again, this would be foreshadowing that he’s one of the heroes that’s on the margins.

The Council

Character role: Ineffectual Higher Power

Motifs: Student Council, the Guardians of Oa

Size Class: Scout

Toy Gimmicks: N/A

Personality: Presented as a sort of ultimate force of good that the heroes ostensibly answer to, the Council never uses their supposed power and does little more than occasionally give orders and evaluations of the Heroes. Though they demand that their authority should be respected, they do little to show they deserve that authority, and yet few of the heroes ever question them.

Meta Stuff: If these guys get a toy, it would probably be an add on with another character – no one really wants to play with the vague council of supposed goodness.

#Baron Skeleton #I am proud of how shitty all these names are

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