#list of scrapped titles: sad soggy dog. someone thinks he has a chance

[angeygirl]

Dave Miller X reader: In which Dave and the author both embarrass themselves

Saw a post by @dovewingkinnie and took it as a writing prompt lol, Anyway, enjoy Dave being pathetic and socially oblivious.

Uh, alternate timeline where there's not as much of an age gap? Also he's less grouchy then normal but there's a reason for that

Probably cringe but I am free

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Today really could have gone better. An angry mom had decided to take out her son’s “ruined” birthday on you, when you saw the whole thing and could confirm that he was the one who started the fight. He was like 11 and picking on a 7 year old, why wouldn’t you get involved? You hadn’t even been that rough with him, kid was just a brat who couldn’t take being told no. But now here you stood, enduring the barrage of insults to your intelligence and demands to speak with a manager. You weren't paid enough for this.

“Alright, what’s all this?” A voice rasped lazily. Oh great. Dave was on day shift again. Honestly, who let this man be around children? The boy who supposedly couldn’t do anything wrong cowered behind his ‘noble’ mother, who took a few paces back. Sure, tall people could be intimidating, but it was more about Dave having the worst vibes, worst posture and worst breath of just about anyone you knew.

“This one here” The woman snapped with a gesture at you. “interrupted a harmless game my son was playing with one of this little friends. He plays with smaller children all the time and I promise no one ever gets hurt. Someone was just trying to play hero and completely ruined the day.”

Dave quirked an eye brow and looked at you.

You glance at the floor. “That’s not really what happened...” Trying to drown the kid in the ball pit despite the younger one’s protests didn’t sound like harmless fun.

Dave shrugged. “Seems like you’re makin’ more of a ruckus then anyone here.”

The woman began to launch a tirade against Dave, who only stared at her blankly and mumbled ‘yeah yeah, care to get out?’. It wasn’t long before the attack began to have an effect. Something about the guard seemed timid as the woman's voice rose. “And speaking of the employees in this place, do they not have any hiring standards? Why you have to be the most unqualified guard I’ve ever seen. Have you even showered?”

“Just last Friday.” He says with a tiny smirk.

Her face crinkles. “Disgusting. You’re disgusting. And so is this place.”

“You said that already. Now would you care to get out?”

“Not until I get a refund!”

“We don’t give refunds. Says so at the counter.”

“Where’s your-”

“Manager’s in the back stuffing bodies in the animatronics. Want me to get him?”

You don’t outright shudder, but it did always make you uneasy how comfortable Dave was with disturbing jokes.

The woman’s nose wrinkles again. “You really think that is appropriate to say? In the restaurant it was rumoured to happen? With a child right here?”

“Eh, kids love gory stuff like that. Now if our restaurant is so crap, why don’t you just leave?”

The woman grabs her son’s hand and storms out of the building. Dave grins at you with his crooked smile. “That takes care of that.”

“Yeah.” You roll your eyes. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.”

Dave’s grin turns a little shy. “Rescue?”

You shrug. “I dunno.”

He slouches nervously. “What do you mean by rescue?”

“Uh? Nothing really. I mean I guess you could say you vanquished a 'witch' on my behalf.” You add with a chuckle.

Dave smiles sheepishly.

The rest of the afternoon passes uneventfully. You take a quick break before your shift closes out, only to find Dave in the break room fumbling with the coffee pot.

He smiles when he notices you, and slides into the chair next to yours. You try not to scoot your chair back, but even without the invasion of your personal space, his breath is just nasty.

“So… are you doing anything this weekend?” He asks.

“Uh… not much, just going to see a movie with my friends.”

He nods. “I see. There’s only one movie theater in town, I assume you’d go there?”

“I guess so.” You scoot back just a little.

“When?”

“I dunno, we haven't worked it out yet.”

Dave nods and sips his coffee without breaking eye contact.

“What about you?”

He glances away. “Uh… well, I supposed I’m an open book. Haven't decided on anything yet but that just means I’m free if someone were to... invite me to something.”

You nod uncertainly.

“Or! or maybe I’ll just sleep, who knows? Heh.”

“Yeah, you look like you need it, buddy.”

He cracks a shy little smile. The next day passes without much incident, but you notice Dave is definitely trying to chat it up more then usual. On your lunch break you find him sulking in the break room.

“You ok there Dave?”

He sort of whimpers. “Fine.”

“Dave, you are never fine.”

He glares up at you. “Didn’t think I’d need a lunch, turns out I do. And I refuse to touch the pizza in this place.”

You sit down and open your bag, somehow feeling too bad for him not to help. “I’ve got a turkey sandwich here if you want to split it.”

He perks up immediately. “You mean that?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” You hand Dave half of the sandwich and it’s down his throat before you realize he took it. You look up in shock while he smiles awkwardly.

“Uh th-thanks.”

“Yeah... No problem?”

He turns away and giggles slightly, yes, giggles like a shy school girl. He’s annoyingly friendly the rest of the day, but all at once, pulls back and won’t speak. No wonder he was considered the office creep. His weird behaviour rolls over to the next day. At this point you’re best off trying to ignore him, but it’s hard. He’s got such a pleading look on his face while he stumbles through small talk that you don’t know how to tell him off. Luckily the shift manager notices him abandoning his ‘post’ and barks at him to get back to work.

The manager pulls you aside. “You ok there? Looks like Miller won’t leave you alone.”

You nod. “Yeah, he’s not creeping or anything, It’s just annoying.”

“If he tries any funny business, we'll move him back to the night shift, should probably get him on night shift anyway since he refuses to shower.”

You and Dave manage to avoid each other the rest of the day, but as you pack up your things to leave, Dave slides a note over to you and shuffles off. He hangs by the doorway a moment, watching to see if you’ll read it and then scurries away.

You unfold the piece of paper.

‘meet me outside freddy’s at 7’

Oh. No.

Oh no.

No, no, NO!

Dave just awkward, right? Harmlessly awkward, socially clumsy and too forgetful to shower or pack a lunch, right? He wasn't thinking of luring you to the back of Freddy’s around closing time to be less suspicious and then kidnap you or anything, was he? Maybe it was just your manager’s warning putting that idea in your head, but frankly you didn’t think it would be worth it.

You feel a gaze on the back of your neck and realize Dave is still behind you. You shove the note in your pocket and head home. Once there you do some chores, make yourself dinner and settle down to watch TV. It’s almost quarter past seven when you remember the note in your pocket. You take it out a reread it.

“Maybe I’m overthinking...” Dave did seem pretty harmless but honestly, why would you even want to meet up with him? You toss the note in the trash and don’t think about it the rest of the night.

By the next morning you almost forgot about the note, so it takes you a good while to understand why Dave looks so much more sulky then normal. His slouch is less lazy and more sad and he almost seems to be pouting, just a little. Then again, his face was usually locked into one weird expression or another.

The worst thing of it was the way he tilted his head down and looked up at you. A grown man was trying his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. As the day went on, his sulking seemed more genuine. Ah geez, he was pretty pathetic, wasn’t he? Before you went home, you stopped him in the break room.

“Dave, what’s all this about?”

His eyes glint almost tearfully. “You didn’t answer my note.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to.”

“You... didn’t?” His voice nearly breaks. “But you said I rescued you. You gave me your sandwich!”

“You ‘rescuing’ me the other day was a joke, and I didn’t need the whole sandwich since I don’t mind the pizza here so much as you.”

He sniffles. “So none of that meant anything to you?”

“I was just being polite.”

“That! Being polite! Who else would do that for me? Nobody here for certain. I know we hadn't known each other very long, but judging by the way you asked if I was alright earlier it's obvious you care about me!”

“It's really not that much of a commitment. Really, you're overthinking things. Maybe if you showered more other people wouldn't be so turned off by you.”

He tilts his head like a confused dog. “That’s all?”

“Well, it’s hygiene and not being a creep and not joking about dead kids in the robots.”

Dave rubs his wrist nervously. “So you don’t have feelings for me?”

You shudder. “Not a chance.”

He sighs. “I must have jumped the gun. M-my apologies.” He sniffles.

“Don’t worry about it? And just to be clear, you weren't going to kidnap me if I had shown up alone?”

“No promises.” Dave laughs.

As much as that sounded an alarm bell in your head, it sounded like another dark joke.

“No really, I just wanted to talk. I wanted to know why you were ignoring me if you had feelings for me.”

“Well, I don’t. And let’s just keep the small talk to the break room? It’s kinda hard to get my work done with you giving me puppy eyes the whole time.”

Dave nods, and a tint of red spreads in his pale face. "I'm sorry if I was acting..."

"Creepy?"

He nods again. "I wasn't sure what to do. You just... the thought of someone taking an interest in me was a bit overwhelming. I haven't been in love in a very long time, and even if my feelings towards you weren't very strong, imagined attraction can be just as powerful as the real thing."

"Eh, I'm sure there's someone for you out there... somewhere. But you'd have to be willing to clean yourself up first."

"I appreciate the advice, though I don't think it'd be practical right now."

"You'd be surprised how often its relevant."