#lis this morning: i was reading this cute fic and i was like oh this was great and went to look at the author and see if they had any other

[starswallowingsea]

okay im gonna make a list of my enstars fics so lis everyone doesnt get jumpscared by discovering i wrote something

[minustwofingers]

love is a laserquest p.2

series masterlist (read p1 here!)

pairing: rockstar!ellie williams x reader

request: @thatgiraffefromtlou so kindly included me on a post about writing something inspired by these beautiful edits :) thank you !

summary: after a serious of unfortunate events, columbia grad y/n y/l/n finds herself using her hard-earned journalism degree interviewing vapid stars and writing articles that she's convinced are rotting her mind. ellie williams has just dropped the album of the year and it's all anyone is talking about, but all she wants is to be off the press train. a certain interview with a certain interviewer might change this.

cws: explicit language, kind of suggestive phrasing? (i get a little feral with guitar playing descriptions), shitty bosses, mentions of nausea and throwing up (no one actually does tho dw), y/n is anxious asf, my writing is a little....yikes...in this one, loser!ellie

a/n: i lied i lied hehe. here's the next part. im still working on building this stupid app so i havent been able to write as much recently + holiday family stuff but oh am i back!

here's a playlist inspired by this fic

wc: 2.4k

tags: tags :) @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie@galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28 @diddiqueen @krisyslostsoul

enjoy mwah

It starts slow, like the drip of a broken faucet. It’s not like you’re actively seeking out anything Ellie William’s related, but somehow it seems like everything Ellie Williams related is seeing you out. 

In the grocery store, one of her hit songs from her newest album blaring over the speakers.

On the street, where you see crumpled pages of magazines with her face plastered all over them. 

And—perhaps the most offensively—on NPR and the New York Times, quite literally days after you’d met her. Suddenly Steve Inskeep and Leila Fadel begin the Up First podcast with a familiar song and devote an entire third of the morning podcast to Ellie and her band’s rise to fame. 

You decide to switch to the BBC World News for a while, but even they seem to be under her spell.

It’s not that you don’t like Ellie. She seems fine. Normal. Really cute, actually, and clearly very talented. But whenever you think about her, you think about the ill-fated, awkward, charmless interview.

“What happened?” Alyssa had asked you when she’d come back from surgery. “That wasn’t you out there.”

Which was actually very hurtful to hear, because you’d been holding onto the hope that you’d been all in your head about your interview being a failure. It all culminates in Eric, your 300 year old manager, sending you a strongly worded email that told you that your performance in the interview was so underwhelming that you were being pulled from the interviewer pool and exiled to article writing land. Which could be worse, you admit. You could be unemployed on the streets of LA. At least you’re still writing. 

And write you do. You spend all your waking hours either at your keyboard, on your yoga mat, or sat in a chair somewhere at a local cafe for a coffee chat. You���ve mostly deleted social media, since all you see nowadays are pictures of Ellie and Becca’s posts about her experience working and loving her life in New York (the algorithm apparently knows exactly what you want to see the most). 

It’s bizarre that, even as you try your best to place your focus on honing your craft and consuming only content that you think will make you a better writer, you still somehow learn everything and more about Ellie Wlliams and her band. It’s in the emails at work whose chains you’re CC’ed on. It’s in the advertisements and the billboards everywhere. It’s even in the conversations you have with your two roommates, Greta and Maureena. 

“She’s so fucking cool,” says Maureena dreamily as you sit around the TV in the living room. “I still can’t believe you got to talk to her.”

“It’s not like I actually got to, like, get to know her or whatever,” you say. “It was honestly kind of dry. Just awkward small talk.”

“That’s more than anyone else I know can say.” She reaches forward and grabs a fistful of popcorn. “How come she gets interviewed by the person who probably cares about her the least in all of LA? Like, what are the chances?”

“I care,” you say, and it sounds unusually defensive coming out of your mouth.

Maureena gives you a long, suspicious look, but before she can respond, Greta comes bursting into the apartment, purse swinging from her shoulder.

A greeting is halfway out of your mouth when she cuts you off. 

“You guys will not believe what I just did.” She’s nearly bursting with excitement, her eyes bright and wide. 

“Like, in a good way?” you ask. 

“Yes. Obviously!” Greta fishes around in her pocket until she pulls her phone out, waving it around. “Check your email.”

The last time Greta had come in with an entrance this energetic, she’d been coming to inform you both that she was getting engaged to her loser boyfriend Brian (which—thank God—didn’t actually last), so you and Maureena trade nervous looks. 

Maureena gets to it first. 

“Tickets to see Ellie Williams? Tonight?” Now she’s about to explode with giddiness, leaping from the couch and throwing her arms around Greta. “I love you, I love you, I love you. How did you get these? I thought they were, like, totally sold out. Or ten thousand dollars.” 

She grins wickedly, holding her hands out in a “who knows” sort of way. “You can all thank me later. We have to leave in about 20 if we want to get there in time. Y/N, you good?”

You’d been staring on in horror, jaw dropped and body completely frozen. You had registered that Ellie was playing in LA tonight—it’s all anyone you knew talked about at work today—but you never once considered actually going to try to see her. “Uh, yeah. Give me just a few.”

By the time you get to the venue, you’re convinced that you might actually puke from the nerves. It’s ridiculous. It’s not like three broke 20 some year olds were going to get last minute seats to an Ellie Williams concert that were genuinely good seats. It’s not like she would see you and realize that the girl who flopped while interviewing her was a big enough fan to attend. You’re going to be fine. 

“Shit, Grets, how are we so close?” asked Maureena as she leads you both closer and closer to the front. 

Horror steadily rises within you as you approach the front row. 

“I got these from my boss,” she says, turning around with a devilish glint in her dark brown eyes. “Her daughter got food poisoning, bless her. She had to stay back to take care of her, and I was the only one who stayed late to work, so…”

Greta’s boss was some filthy rich nepo baby who was a partner of a big talent agency. All of a sudden you feel stupid for not realizing this sooner.

“Shit,” you say, mostly to yourself. “Oh no. Oh my god.”

“Isn’t this so cool!” Greta jumps up and down, hands on your shoulders as she tries to rile you up. “Dude, what if she recognizes you?” 

“I think I’m going to puke,” you say miserably. Somehow the thought of her seeing you made you want to crawl inside your skin in shame and hide for the next calendar year. “Did you guys not see how ass it was? I was so fucking awkward.”

“It wasn’t even that bad.” Maureena pats your shoulder. 

“I literally was forbidden from ever interviewing again because it was so bad.”

“Because Eric hates women,” says Greta. “It’s not your fault he’s a horrible human being. Give it, like, a year or so until he croaks. Then they’ll let you back in the game.”

“Uh huh,” you say, feeling very harrowed. 

You remain in this state of abject terror for the entire opener performance. The nausea doesn’t subside. It only gets worse when you realize that if you actually puke, Ellie’s definitely going to see it. Just like she’s going to see you, with the stupid stars Greta had insisted you paint on your cheekbones with glittery eyeliner and eyeshadow. 

“She really likes space,” Greta had told you while you’d been getting ready, pretending like you didn’t already know all about this. “So all of her fans wear star stuff to see her.”

Before you can think to wipe off the glitter, everything goes black. Then the crowd goes wild. 

When the silvery blue light spills onto the stage, it illuminates Ellie, standing just a number of feet away from you. You barely have enough time to take in the black leather coat and loose white shirt she’s wearing before music explodes out of the speakers, her fingers flying up and down the fretboard. 

You’re spellbound as you watch her. Her voice rings loud and clear and slightly gravelly when it snags on her words. She’s nothing at all like the girl you’d met a month ago—there’s no discomfort, no awkwardness. She looks like she’s born to be on stage. 

When the first song ends, she steps back, grabbing the standing mic next to her. 

“Uh. Hi,” she says, and it’s so endearingly nervous compared to how she’d just sounded that something in your chest twists. She rubs the back of her neck. “I’m Ellie.”

Greta and Maureena join the crowd, screaming and cheering. 

“I LOVE YOU!” someone shrieks, louder than everyone else.

“You know,” she says, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to people reacting like this to me just, like, saying my name. It’s really fucking weird. Oh. Shit. Sorry. Are you guys okay with me swearing?” 

The roar that comes from the crowd is entirely undecipherable. 

“Right,” says Ellie. “Um. I’ll take that as a yes. Sorry to anyone who brought their kids or something. Anyway, this one’s about the ex who cheated on me and gave me mono.” 

Before you can react to that, she starts playing. 

As she proceeds through the setlist, you’re struck by just how close you are to her, how many things you can notice that hardly anyone else in the crowd can see. You see the outline of her phone in her pocket, the pieces of hair that have fallen out of her little half bun and are sticking to her face, the way that the glitter on her collarbones trails down her shirt in little rivulets. 

And, above everything else, you can see the horrible way her fingers straddle the fretboard, curling and pressing with ease so practiced it looks tender. 

Apart from this bad, bad development (you can feel your mind going a million miles an hour about things you should not be thinking about), things are going great. Ellie hasn’t noticed you. Or even looked in your direction. You’re not even sure she can see you, given how little light is shed onto the crowd. The false sense of security makes you feel comfortable singing along with Greta and Maureena, your lips forming the lyrics you’d been pretending to not listen to whenever her songs came on. 

It happens during a slower song, a sort of ballad that makes your heart thud harder in your chest to hear from her mouth. The lights on stage dim a little. Light spills just the slightest onto the front of the crowd, and Ellie’s eyes fall and snap onto yours so decisively that it almost feels audible. 

For a moment, you can’t breathe. Ellie’s voice suddenly catches mid-word, faltering and missing a beat. She thrusts her hand with the mic into the crowd, which eagerly picks up where she left off and finishes the verse. 

It’s impossible to see on the screen projecting her image behind her, but you can see the flicker of recognition in her eyes, the stiffness that comes with realizing that you actually know someone from somewhere. 

You’re the one who breaks eye contact, focused with a sudden intensity on the way the thin fabric of your sleeves are situated on your arms. 

Greta pokes you so hard in your ribs that you gasp. 

“What the fuck!” you snap, but the words are swept away by the noise around you. 

“Why didn’t you wave?!” she hisses in your ear. “She totally recognized you.”

The realization falls over you with the subtlety of an anvil. Oh my god. You totally should’ve waved. That was the normal, well-adjusted thing to do. Now she was going to think you were weird. And it was too late now. But she didn’t wave to you. Wasn’t she supposed to wave first? Because you of course remembered her, but she might not remember you. Yeah. You could go with that.

Maybe she didn’t remember you. 

You can’t relax for the rest of the concert. You try your best to just act normal and dance along with your friends and casually mouth the words, but it’s hard when it feels like she’s staring at you. Which is completely impossible. The light doesn’t fall back onto the crowd until the concert is over and Ellie and her band are long gone backstage. 

~

Two months later, all you can think about is the way that Ellie stuttered over her words when she saw you in the crowd. Of course, this is definitely something you’ve made up in your mind, because there’s a number of reasons why she might’ve slipped up. Maybe she just thought she knew you from somewhere and couldn’t place it. That’s why she (allegedly) kept looking in your direction afterwards. Or maybe you’re completely batshit insane, and she didn’t look at you at all. Because if she had, wouldn’t she have waved? Right?

It’s almost bad enough to distract you from work. You find yourself prowling on Twitter, watching the #elliewilliams tag blow up following every concert date. It doesn’t give you any clarity, because in every picture, she looks just as perfect and cool and confident as she was at the LA show. You don’t know why you assumed she’d look different if it was true that she’d recognized you. More human, maybe. But she’s just as bathed in starlight as she was that night many weeks before, just as far away and untouchable. 

You spend so much time thinking about her that you’re convinced you might’ve slipped into a dream when Eric appears at your cubicle with the news.

Instead of saying hello, he plops a stack of papers on the desk in front of you, all labeled “PopNow! Interview Etiquette”. 

“Excuse me?” you say. 

“Start reading up, kid,” says Eric. “You’re back in the game.”

“What?” 

“You have an interview scheduled later this week.” He scowls down at you, gum smacking in his mouth. He smells faintly of tobacco. 

“But I thought I was removed from—”

“You still are,” he says. “But someone requested you. Their manager told us they wouldn’t talk to us if they didn’t get you.”

“What?” 

He huffs out a short laugh. “Believe me, I was surprised too. Don’t know what they’re on about after the last time you talked to their client. Fuck this one up and you’re out, okay? Got it? The info’s in your inbox already.” 

Somehow the words don’t quite sink in until you open the email and see the words on paper. 

SENDER: Maria Miller

RECIPIENT: Eric Bal

CC: ewilliamsmusic@gmail.com, y/ny/l/n@popnow!.com

Eric,

Great to hear back from you. Glad that 3 next Wednesday works. 

Best,

MM

final a/n: lmk how u guys feel about this...feeling a little unsure about where this is going but enjoying writing it anyway there are two wolves inside of me etc. etc. also ive missed u all! i hope everyone is doing well! dont b shy!

[thewickedjazzy]

hello jess...did i mention how much I want to thank you for blessing us with an exciting kinktober event? guess I didn't?

i'm really curious to know more about you well guess we all are haha!

Hellooo!! Thank you so much UwU.

more about me, I guess? I’m not the best at introducing myself to people. Honestly, I’m the kind of person who’d spend days making a whole introductory PDF about myself and just sending it to anyone who wants to know me better!

ENTJ | Gemini Rising | Gemini Sun | Taurus Moon

You’d think I’d be super extroverted, right? Nah, I’m more of an ambivert. Lately, I’ve been really enjoying my quality alone time more than ever. You’ll usually find me in the mornings waking up early, sipping coffee at my favorite café near the office while diving into a good book. In the evenings, I’m either cooking, watching a great movie, or writing some fics with soft music playing in the background. It’s my little routine, and I love it

I lean towards the feminine side, but my wardrobe is super versatile. I'm absolutely weak for suits, elegant casual dresses, and depending on my mood, you might catch me in gothic, rock, or grunge fits. The one thing that’s constant? Black and burgundy are my go-tos. Oh, and I’m 5'3 *yes, people think I'm taller*

career wise? Believe it or not, I majored in Japanese, but I’ve been working for a year in the medical field! I'm a medical practice manager for a gynaecologist and suboncologist. My work persona? Perfectionist, fast-paced, and problem-solver extraordinaire (I've got cute awards for leadership, problem-solving, and fast surgery bookings. it's so cute jsiwjej).

Outside of work, I’m obsessed with reading—my library is my sanctuary. Oh, and I paint a lot too; I need to bring out my stashed canvases asap fr..I also sing, mostly opera-like songs, and have been on stage multiple times.

I have a deep passion for video games as well. I’m currently obsessed with Dishonored, Elden Ring, Ghost of Tsushima, and Lies of P.

Things i hate? shallow people and foolishness are major turn-offs. I thrive on intellectual conversations and prefer depth over superficiality. Also wannabes give me the ick—let’s keep it real. Chaotic and dramatic individuals can be a drain, as I’m all about seeking peace. But if my bestie calls me at 3 am to spill the tea on some drama or how she omg-accidently got back with her ex, I’m all ears sweets no judgement xx.

I guess that's pretty much it? Let me know if you'd like to know more about me though.

[iturnlemonadeintolemons]

Klaroline+'I hold onto the night you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me' from Forever and ALways my Taylor Swift. I know that's supposed to be a sad song but I've always loved that lineand was hoping you could do someting cute/happy/fluffy with it?

I've made this like a sort-of sequel to my latest drabble something in you, so I recommend reading that first before reading this one.

(someone please show me how to put the underline link thingy under the name of a fic)

.

.

.

Caroline shuts the door behind her quietly, toeing off her shoes and nudging them into a corner, too tired to shove them inside the shoe rack. She rolls out the cricks of her neck, careful not to make too much noise so as to not rouse Klaus, who’s probably still sleeping.

As soon as she enters their bedroom, however, Klaus jerks awake, blinking sleep out of his eyes blearily. “No,” Caroline groans. “I was quiet.”

“Mm,” Klaus grumbles, getting up, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t mind. I told you to wake me up.”

“It’s one am, Klaus.” Caroline drops her bag on the desk and gets on the bed, crawling over to where Klaus sits. He kisses her cheek and then her hair, frowning.

“You look like death warmed over. Sleep.”

“I would’ve if it weren't for my hardass boss,” Caroline grumps, suppressing a smile when Klaus freezes, pulling his lips away from her cheek. He looks deeply offended when he looks at her, all traces of sleepiness gone.

“I resent that.”

“Dr Mikaelson’s such a dick,” Caroline continues, grinning when Klaus narrows her eyes. “Giving us paperwork while he goes home to sleep it off.”

“I have a twelve hour long surgery tomorrow,” Klaus points out.

“You made me work till one am,” Caroline hums, climbing onto his lap. “Ass,” she says affectionately, kissing the bottom of his jaw. Klaus makes an affronted sound and pulls away, looking at her.

“Last I checked, I was perfectly willing to single you out and take you home with me, but you said I couldn’t treat you differently.”

“Yeah, with surgeries, I didn’t mean paperwork, anyone can do that. Give it to Hayley or someone, I hate her.”

Klaus grins sleepily, closing his eyes when Caroline buries her face into his neck. “I know.”

“Klaus?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can you kiss me?”

“Yes,” he says sleepily, leaning forward to kiss her. Caroline hums, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pushing him down so that he’s lying on the bed and she’s on top of him. Klaus moves his hands to her hips, steadying her when she rocks on top of them.

“Caroline…”

“What, no, come on, Klaus.”

“It’s one in the morning, sweetheart, and you were so tired when you came in.”

“Well, now I'm awake,” she says seductively.

“Well then, I'm tired.”

“I'm the one who’s been doing your stupid paperwork.”

“Yes, while I was doing a seven hour surgery on my feet. Apologies for—ouch.”

“Shut up,” she says affectionately.

“Don’t use that tone, love, I'm too tired for sex.”

Caroline groans and pulls away from him, sitting up on his lap while he still lies down. He makes an affronted noise and pulls her back to his level. “I didn’t tell you to get off me.”

“If I stay on top of you you're going to get a boner.”

“Can you not call it that?” Klaus grumps.

“Literally everyone calls it that.”

“Just call it an erection like normal people do.”

“You're not normal. I thought you were going to sleep.”

“I am,” Klaus says, looking as offended as one can look when their eyelids are half-closed. “I can't do it with you talking to me.”

“Oh, god, this is déjà vu from the night I lost my virginity,” Caroline grumps.

Klaus’s eyes fly open, and he’s suddenly up, eyes narrowed. “What—”

“Oh, go back to sleep,” Caroline huffs, pushing him back down, laying down beside him and pulling the covers on top of them, snuggling into his side when he rolls over to face her, throwing a leg over his.

“What—Caroline, put on some socks.”

“No, I can't sleep in socks.”

“Your feet are freezing—what the hell—Caroline—”

“No, come here, this is punishment for making me do your stupid charting—”

“You're my resident—get your feet away from me—”

Caroline snorts, shoving her foot between his thighs. Klaus yelps, jerking away from, her, making her burst into laughter. He glares at her, nudging her foot with his. “I thought we were supposed to be sleeping.”

“So sleep,” she hums. “Do you want me to tell you how I did my charting? That might help.”

“Fine,” he yawns. “Tell me.”

“So, there I was, sitting in my chair with my charts, totally naked—”

Klaus snorts, eyes closed. “Somehow, I doubt there’s any truth in you flashing the rest of the hospital.”

“Smart man,” she says, kissing his cheek.

“Besides, I like listening to you, so that probably won't help me sleep anyway.”

“Do you want to try anyway?”

“Fine.”

“I finished my surgeries and clinic hours for the day, helped Enzo in the clinic, and then did your stupid paperwork with Bonnie, ooh, and by the way, I assisted with a coronary revascularisation, which was awesome, Bonnie watched from the gallery. But it’s okay, you don’t have to get excited for me right now, you can do it tomorrow.”

“Caroline,” comes Klaus’s voice.

“Yes?”

“This isn't working. You're too interesting.”

Caroline lets out a bark of laughter. “Just sleep, Klaus.”

Klaus hums and wraps his arms around her, burying his face into her neck. “Goodnight, love.”

“Good night, hardass.”

[fettuccin-e]

Matt Murdock Fic Recs (Part III)

oh matty. my tortured, angsty, sexy man. why must you have a smile like pure sunshine? why must you have a fat ass? i am simply Not Normal about this man, so more fic recs!! PLEASE comment and reblog these works from these awesome writers, they so deserve it!! (also, if you are an author and would like to be removed from this list, let me know!!)

Part I and Part II of my Matt Murdock recs!

Choice and Chance and Promise by @courtforshort15

>> As much as you've tried, your feelings for Matt won't go away. No matter how must you try to ignore it, you will always love Matthew Murdock, even if he doesn't feel the same. One night, though, may change things. (mutual pining!!! happy ending!!! hooray amazing!!)

90 Days by @multiharlot

>> The day you lost Matthew Murdock was the worst you've ever experienced. The days that follow are painful, the road through your grief agonizing, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. (i read this when i need to cry. it is so. good. HOWEVER, there is some heavy depression and darkness in here, so please stay safe!!)

Reciprocum by @murdocks-devil

>> Matthew Murdock is a giver, through and through. He never takes anything for himself, even though he desperately needs it. So, you've learned how to make sure Matt gets what he needs, without making him think that he's taking too much. (just,, taking care of matty in the sweetest, fluffiest way. so so wonderful)

Shut Up by @skeletonsslut

>> You're trying to get him to stop, trying to pry him away. But Matt's mission is to make you cum as many times as possible, and he's never been one to shy away from a challenge. (porn. pure overstimulation porn. hell yeah.)

S.M.S. by @prettyeyesnof4ce

>> There are some mornings where you wake up early, with Matt still asleep next to you, calm and warm and soft. These mornings are few and far between, so you've learned to bask in them as much as possible. (the title literally stands for sleepy morning sex. PURE SMUT and its so nice)

For as Long as You'd Let Me by @fulmis

>> Matt knows that you deserve better than him, so he keeps his distance, burying his feelings deep inside himself. He should have known that you wouldn't stay single forever, but he didn't expect the sight of you with someone else to hurt so bad. (awwwee he's so tortured and sweet,, i LOVE angst with a happy ending)

"Playing Pool" Ask by @devils-dares

>> A drabble about playing pool with Matt, Foggy, and Karen as Mrs. Murdock. Foggy insists that it's not fair that you get someone with superpowers on your team, you've never been happier. (i ADORE domestic, married!Matty. this is so fucking cute.)

Funeral Liturgy by @redahlia-writes

>> Matthew Murdock is dead, and you have to organize his funeral. But no one has found his body, and you can't help traitorous hope from creeping in, praying that he's still alive. (pain. just,, pain but its so good and ends happy so don't worry!!)

Please Don't Be Mad by @chvoswxtch

>> After Matt lies to you about being with Elektra, you think about ending things. Finally leaving. But Matt always drags you back in, for better or for worse. You're weak to him, and he to you. (UGH the smut is fucking amazing, and the angst?? game-changing. PLEASE be warned though,, the relationship in this one is slightly toxic!!)

Just The Tip, Princess by @saintmurd0ck

>> College has been getting to you both. A game of truth or dare may take the edge off, and maybe bring some feelings to light. (College matty makes me fuckin FERAL are you kidding me?? the smut is simply top tier.)

[devoraqs]

the arcana m6 for the character ask thing

I’m going to leave out sexuality for this one because the m6 are all canonically bisexual and that’s just fine with me!

Asra

Gender Headcanon: we know he’s canonically nonbinary, let’s hear it for the he/theys!

A ship I have with said character: Asrian, of course 😂 also Ascha (Alexander x Asra)

A BROTP I have with said character: Asra and Muriel, Asra and Portia, Asra and Nadia… the list goes on!

A NOTP I have with said character: Asra x Lucio. Surely I don’t have to explain this one

A random headcanon: he has several faust-patterned things! Veterans among you will remember the faust dress from a while ago, and I’ve also given him a faust coloured shawl too!

General Opinion over said character: I know people see me as a Julian Person, but Asra is my favourite LI personally. I literally have his love confession cg on the wall next to my bed 😅

Nadia

Gender headcanon: Trans Nadia is lovely and I enjoy it, this is gonna be something I feel pretty generally about all of the LIs tbh

A ship I have with said character: CasNadi (Caspian x Nadia), Nadian (Nadia x Julian) and Portia x Nadia are all very heart eyes to me

A BROTP I have with said character: Alexander and Nadia being science nerd besties makes me very very happy. I need to write that fic of them actually opening the observatory and planetarium

A NOTP I have with said character: I don’t, really?

A random headcanon: as part of her skill with tinkering she learns how to make one of those piano (well, in this case probably a harpsichord) models that can play themselves

General Opinion over said character: Nadia is so so beloved to me

Julian

Gender headcanon: as with Nadia, trans Julian is a pretty swell headcanon

A ship I have with said character: Asrian, Ilyacha (Alexander/Julian), Nadian

A BROTP I have with said character: Also with Nadia, and a begrudging chalk and cheese friendship with Muriel because I find it amusing

A NOTP I have with said character: Jucio and Julian x Valdemar. Neither do it for me at all

A random headcanon: post canon he fosters a collection of delightfully bisexual dangly earrings

General Opinion over said character: I named my blog after him. Need I say more 😂

Portia

Gender Headcanon: see above!

A ship I have with said character: Nadia x Portia, Portia x Alexander, Portia x Muriel, aaaaand Portia x Nahara which I need to either seek out more of or draw some myself because I think Portia’s crush on Nahara is so sweet. Oh, Asra x Portia too, it’s super cute

A BROTP I have with said character: Portia and Alexander without a doubt. I’ve been chipping away at a rewrite and them being best friends is so important to Alexander. They just missed out on being as close as kids as Alexander and Julian are owing to Portia being so young, but they more than make up for it.

A NOTP I have with said character: again I don’t really, there are some I don’t care for but none that fall into notp territory

A random headcanon: once she gets stuck into a book she can absolutely devour it in a ridiculous amount of time. She found a really good mystery novel at the market one morning and read the whole thing cover to cover before midnight

General Opinion over said character: massively underappreciated but she’s awesome and I love her

Muriel

Gender Headcanon: I do really like trans man muriel, I feel like determining his gender for himself would be very important to him

A ship I have with said character: Asra x Muriel, CasMuri (Caspian x Muriel), Portia x Muriel

A BROTP I have with said character: asra and Julian as mentioned above, and I think Muriel has a very quiet friendship with Alexander too

A NOTP I have with said character: Lucio. Again, I hope it’s obvious why

A random headcanon: I know it’s probably implied in canon that he taught himself his rune magic, but I stand by it as a headcanon that while he had to work on it he had an intuitive pull to his own unique style of magic

General Opinion over said character: Muriel's great, he really is. I wish his route did him more justice

And finally…

Lucio

Gender Headcanon: I see a fair bit of trans lucio and yeah, I see it!

A ship I have with said character: LuciCas (Caspian x Lucio), Lucio x Valerius

A BROTP I have with said character: it’s not really a brotp but him and the devil have an interesting dynamic and I do like how people characterise them sometimes.

A NOTP I have with said character: Several.

A random headcanon: He sounds like Martin Short as Preminger from Barbie Princess and the Pauper. I’m committing to this and rolling with it

General Opinion over said character: I think it’s pretty common knowledge that I hated his route for the most part, and as a guy I’m not overly fond of him either, but I think he has wonderful potential as a villain even if I don’t think that potential is realised.

[sukirichi]

— just the two of us

request: I almost read all of your jujutsu kaisen writings and I love it. Your writing is really good! I do not know if a request about a fics🥞 about satoru gojo who is really in love and not very possessive with an oblivious reader. It will be fun to see Satoru try to flirt with her and she doesn't get it🤣

pairings: gojo x oblivious! reader

notes: THIS IDEA IS SO CUTEEE I absolutely loved every second of writing it! thank you for the request and I hope you like this! 🥞 breakfast has been served!

word count: 3.3k

warnings: none, other than this is unedited and written humorously rather than seriously~

masterlist !

Gojo doesn’t know whether he’s lucky – or completely cursed – over the fact you’ve got no idea he’s so in love with you.

It’s a bright sunny morning, perfect for outdoor training, and he walks with you all the way to school with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. You stretch your arms out in the sky to bask in the morning glow and warmth of the sun, sleeves pushed up to your forearms to “get that vitamin D.”

Satoru snickers at your statement, because you’d totally be getting a different kind of Vitamin D if only you’d notice him. Sometimes he wonders, if maybe you’d inherited the Six Eyes instead of him, would you finally be able to see him – or would you still remain unaware?

He doesn’t even know where it began. A year ago, Yaga introduced you as the newest staff member. You’d been so fidgety and nervous then, unsure of what to do and worried if maybe the kids wouldn’t love. They did, of course, how could they not. Not only were you extremely fun to be with, you’re also caring, fretting and even crying whenever one of the students got injured over a mission.

Shoko reminds you all the time that this should be normal for you by now, but you always cry every time, sobbing that they’re still only kids and should be out having fun.

Yeah, maybe that’s where it began. Your kindness struck a chord in Satoru’s heart, and before he knew it, he was falling for you. Hard. Next thing you know, he shows up five minutes before you leave for work, mock-saluting you before inviting you to breakfast. He does this every damn day, and you still don’t get a single thing.

“That café was really good,” you muse, fingers stretching outwards and giggling as the sun peeks through the spaces. Satoru sighs beside you, wanting nothing more than to slip his fingers through those softer ones. “We should go back there sometime. Maybe even take the kids with us this weekend so we can all have breakfast together!”

Satoru masks a snicker with a cough. It reminds him of the time Megumi called you mom and dad by accident, to which you happily responded with before tackling the boy in hugs, while the strongest jujutsu sorcerer only flushed in embarrassment.

Him being him though, Satoru played it off cool, flipping his hair before striking a pose. “Huh, a dad?” he smirks, “The only person who gets to call me daddy would be no one else but Y/N.”

The raven haired first year student immediately recoils in disgust. Meanwhile, the innuendo flies straight through you, and you peer up at him innocently with your head tilted to the side. “Daddy? Why would I call you my dad? My father is still alive and well, and I don’t see you marrying my mom or anything,” Just as Megumi nearly howls in laughter – another evidence that you’re really something else to get the usually stoic boy to lose his composure like that – you snap your fingers, the light bulb above your head practically shining. “Oh, I get it! You prefer younger women and you want them to call you that! Kind of like the hype for onii-chan nowadays.”

Hopeless, Satoru wants to say, you’re absolutely, utterly hopeless.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Satoru shrugs nonchalantly, sending a smirk your way. It usually drives everyone crazy, but you only smile back up at him in the same way you smile with everyone, and he tries his best to not show his shoulders are deflating. Nevertheless, he doesn’t give up. “How about you and I go out somewhere this weekend? The movies, perhaps?”

Say yes, say yes – please say yes.

Really though, he’s waiting for that ‘no’ already. Satoru knows you always go out of town during the weekends to visit your family in the countryside, only coming back on Monday the next week with a basket of fruits and traditional goods that isn’t so easy to find in the city.

But then you clasp your hands together in excitement, lashes fluttering delicately as you beam up at him. “Really? You’d like to go to the movies with me?”

“Of course I would,” Satoru tries not to stutter, hiding the fact that he’s completely taken aback. He’s the Gojo Satoru for heaven’s sake, he shouldn’t be this affected by anyone’s presence. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want to?”

“Oh, nothing, I just thought you were busy. This Saturday, then?”

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, it’s actually happening – his mind was barely functioning at this point, and he even slapped his cheeks to snap him back to life. “I thought there was a fly,” he lied with a chuckle, “But yeah, Saturday. I’ll pick you up?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Satoru wouldn’t stop smiling the whole way to the school. Even when Yuuji had face planted into the ground and Megumi sprained his ankle from training, he wasn’t able to get rid of the ridiculously big smile that stretched across his lips. He’s floating in cloud nine, flowers erupting from his ears and heart-shaped emojis bursting in his background.

“Well, you look creepy,” Shoko commented in the faculty room the moment you excused yourself, “Did you land a date with her or something?”

“That I did,” he stated proudly, even banging his fist on his chest like a deranged form of King Kong.

“I can only hope Y/N makes it out alive,” Nanami announces from behind the newspaper he’s reading, legs crossed over another before he peeks above the paper, narrowed eyes dead set on the blindfolded man. “Don’t be too wild with her, Satoru. She’s a gentle soul despite being a sorcerer – I humbly suggest you don’t mess with her feelings.”

“Are you kidding me? She’s the one messing with my feelings by being so fucking cute all the time!”

“Who’s cute?”

Shoko nearly spits out her coffee the moment you enter, glancing around the room and sitting down next to a shock-still Satoru. Nanami only huffs in his seat with a shake of his head. It doesn’t take long before Satoru regains his confidence and recovers from his shock – he’s turned to you with his torso completely facing your way.

You bask in the attention, mimicking the gesture until your faces are mere inches from one another. The fact you’re so responsive and attentive to him yet still painfully naïve strikes a mental war of himself debating whether he wants to kiss you or knock your head upside down. Satoru chooses neither options as he leans closer, his smile growing wider when you don’t pull away, and he doesn’t stop moving until his lips are right beside the shell of your ear.

“You’re cute.”

Shoko shudders at the same time Nanami just gives up on everything, folding his paper and lying that he’s got someplace to go with Ichiji. Satoru patiently waits for your reaction; for you to crumble this time around.

You’re silent for a moment, brows almost right across each other when you register his words. Satoru ends up holding his breath for your next words, wondering: is this it? will she finally understand what I feel for her now?

Even Shoko ends up sitting at the edge of her seat, silently watching the exchange with interest barely hidden in her sparkling eyes. Satoru watches as your lips open, his eyes transfixed on the way the soft flesh moves. They tilt upwards, revealing a set of a wide smile – the smile he can never get enough of. “Thank you!” you giggle at his compliment, “You and Shoko are very cute too! And the kids too, especially Toge! Not that I’m saying he’s my favourite—”

“He’s definitely your favourite student,” snorts Shoko who is ignoring the way Satoru turns completely gray beside you.

It turns out you still haven’t figured it out after all.

“The kids this – the kids that,” the tall, lanky man whines, his head falling back on the back of the leather couch. He looks so utterly defeated you can’t help but lean over him to check if he’s okay, but Satoru pouts and hides his face under his uniform instead. “Why can it never be just the two of us?”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

This time, you’ve kneeled on the couch to hover him. You even pluck one side of his blindfold off to see how he’s doing, and suddenly thankful you can’t see the way his cheeks are absolutely flaming right now. 

“Nothing,” he assures, his smile hidden behind his shirt. You look absolutely adorable hovering over him like that – eyes wide and lips pouty – what he wouldn’t give to kiss those lips right now, but it isn’t the right time, and Satoru just needs to find a better way to tell you how he feels. “It’s nothing.”

It’s absolutely not nothing.

Saturday couldn’t come faster.

Satoru finds himself willing time to go faster. Once the awaited day finally comes, he wastes no time in choosing his best outfit; an oversized black shirt tucked into black skinny jeans before styling his hair up the way he likes.

He winks at his reflection in the mirror, going ooh and aah at how hot he looks. It’s another reason why he can’t comprehend why you don’t like him yet, when, uhm, he knows he looks damn good? He’s pretty funny too – and his strength and power is already a no-brainer. Satoru can’t wrap his head around any possible reason why you wouldn’t like him; it’s basically a life or death mission at this point.

With that end goal in his mind and a spritz of perfume later, Satoru sashays out his apartment. Even though it’s already dark outside and he spent the whole day walking back and forth in his room trying to come up with ways to confess to you, he acts coolly all the way to your apartment.

This time around, he’s more than confident. He’s going to have you wrapped around his pretty little finger, “Wow,” is the first thing he says, pulling his blindfold down just to look at you.

Satoru feels blessed in that exact moment to witness how the heavens took their time with you, creating only the best out of the best and birthing the most magnificent person ever. Suddenly, he grows an urge to run to the countryside and thank your parents for going funky one night and creating you, because you’re an absolutely magnificent gift and it really baffles him how you’re real.

“Wow,” he repeats again, and you chuckle when he shakes his head. “You look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you look him up and down, smiling in satisfaction. “You look very handsome yourself.”

Satoru’s been called handsome a million times before that it’s gotten too much in his head already, but hearing it come from your lips hits different. If he was excited before, it’s nothing compared to what he feels now when you loop your arm through his, dangling off his arm like you were a lover.

He knows it’s not real and this is probably just a friendly date for you – something he intends to clear up later – but it doesn’t stop him from puffing his chest up a bit, almost as if bragging to everyone around you that he was the one you’re with, and that he was the one you’re going to the movies with.

All your babbles about everything goes straight into one ear and out the other. He wants to listen to you, he really does, but he’s so intoxicated with your voice that he just ends up nodding at everything you say; his attention mostly on how sweet you sound and smell.

His feelings only intensify a hundred times more when you finally make it to the theatre. Not only is it dark, but you’re sitting right next to him, arms and thighs brushing against each other. He takes note of every little movement you make, smiling to himself when you don’t pull away from his thigh flush against yours.

In this close proximity, your perfume overwhelms his senses. He finds himself leaning closer just to get a little more taste of it, his arm resting on the armrest beside him and placing his cheek on his open palm.

He doesn’t even know what the movie is about. All he can see, hear, feel and recognize is you – nothing and no one but you. Just as he wanted, it’s just the two of you.

Satoru reaches out to the bowl of popcorn in his lap to distract himself from the need of kissing you already. He was so smug that he’s on this date with you; now he feels like the world is laughing and mocking at him because you’re so close yet so far away. The last thing he wants is to say something weird and have you running for the hills. It’s clear you don’t like him, after all.

You end up reaching for it the same time he does, making your fingers brush. It sends a jolt of electricity down his spine and he immediately retracts it.

Looking up at him with an apologetic smile, Satoru knows he’s messed up. “I’m sorry,” you blurt out, raising your hands in surrender with a nervous chuckle. “I should’ve gotten my own bowl instead.”

Satoru stares at you through his blindfold. You’re close enough that he can count your lashes – both top and bottom row – and he’s so stupefied at this point that he just says the first thing that comes to his mind; absolutely anything just to get your attention. “Cold,” he shows you his hand, “I’m cold.”

“Oh,” you nod and slip your fingers through his. Satoru nearly gasps at how electrifying the sensation is from having your smaller, softer fingers collide with his, your hands fitting perfectly in his bigger, calloused ones. Then, you close your intertwined hands and smush your cheek with it to transfer your heat – completely unaware that Satoru feels like he’s floating in his own Infinite Void right now. “Feel warmer now?”

“Yes,” he replies. “Extremely.”

Something beast-like wakes within him after that. Now that he knows you don’t mind touching him at all, Satoru can’t help but want to take out all his playing cards and just go fuck it. So he does – and he might regret, he might not – who cares? It’s just the two of you, and you’re the only one he ever cares about this much that he’d pretty much let you do anything at this point.

“You know,” Satoru begins, shifting until your joined hands are resting on top of his chest. His heart is just about ready to burst through its confines at this moment, but he holds back. It’s now or never. “Shoko and Nanami are annoyed that I talk about you all the time.”

Your eyes widen at his statement. “Really? Do you talk badly about me or something?”

“No,” he nearly groans in frustration, “You’re really pretty and cool. You’re amazing during missions, too, when you fight, it’s like I’m witnessing a warrior princess. So cool.”

This makes you laugh until the person sitting behind you rudely shushes you. You bow your head in apology, turning to Satoru with a softer smile this time; one that looks reserved and private compared to your big grins. “Oh, no,” he closes his eyes even behind his blindfold, “Don’t smile at me like that. I don’t think I’ll still be cool if I end up stuttering over my words.”

“Satoru!” you whisper-hiss, although your chest is filled with so much giddiness too that you’ve both forgotten about the movie; unaware that the entire theatre was crying over the main character’s friend’s death. “What are you going on about?”

He wants to laugh so damn hard. He thought confessing his feelings for you would end up in a pitiful heartbreak that you’d be weirded out and push him away. For a moment, he forgets it’s you, and that nothing is ever difficult or painful with you – other than, of course, you being oblivious, but that isn’t something he can’t fix. He’ll get you on the train one way or another.

“I have a confession.”

“Yeah?”

“I was practicing how to ask you out for a whole hour in the mirror,” Satoru whispers, careful to not ruin the melancholic mood of theatre. It doesn’t even surprise him that his world is filled with nothing but sunshine even if the world around you has descended into grief and loneliness. “I also called Nanami on first date tips.”

“Nanami?” you echo with a gasp, “Why Nanami?”

“Because he’s married, that’s why. Mans know some tips for sure.”

“Wait, so,” you chuckle nervously, and Satoru waits, waits for you to pull away or push him back – anything that would indicate discomfort. He’s patient the whole time, watching carefully as you only squeeze his hand and gesture to the both of you with your free one. “This is a date? Our first date?”

“Only if you want to be,” Satoru shrugs, grimacing afterwards at how sappy he sounds. “Well, I actually consider this our first date and I’ve been waiting for this for like forever now, so I sure as hell hope you want this too. I didn’t dress myself up today only to come back home crying.”

Satoru’s heart – if possible – only beats crazier and sings the syllables of your name when you start laughing harder to the point you have to muffle it by burying yourself in his bicep. He feels like his muscles and nerves could erupt at any moment. It’s crazy – absolutely insane – how you have him wrapped around your finger like this. He doesn’t complain though; he never will.

“I’m glad,” you mumble through his shirt, your erratic heartbeat matching kiss when you take the first tentative step of kissing his jaw.

Satoru stiffens underneath you, a low growl ripping from his throat. He’s feral, wild, drunk at the sight and scent of you. You make him feel like he’s fluctuating between dimensions, all the planets just crashing on one another until the stardust is left in your eyes because what else could be an explanation for what he’s feeling other than a supernova collision of hearts?

“You always make me feel so happy when you’re around that I still can’t believe you feel the same way. I was so worried that maybe you wouldn’t get my hints.”

Satoru groans, “What the hell? How long have you liked me?”

“I guess when you started bringing flowers to Megumi randomly just to piss him off.”

Satoru wants to rip his hair out. That was just a few weeks after you’ve started working with him, meaning you both have liked each other this whole time and he’s been suffering and feeling stupid just for nothing?

“God, Y/N,” he mutters to himself, “You really do know how to make a man go crazy, huh?”

That innocent smile on your face lets him know that as usual, you’re oblivious of everything. Satoru is right; he still can’t decide whether he wants to whack you in the head upside down. With a sigh, he ends up choosing the latter, nearly falling over his seat when you let out a surprised yelp at the feeling of his lips on yours.

It doesn’t take long before you grab onto his shirt and cling to dear life, laughter bubbling through your lips as you kiss. The sound is so precious he wants to bottle it up and keep it treasure for the rest of his life, but Satoru doesn’t rush anything.

With you and only with you is he ever capable of feeling like it’s just the two of you in a world filled with chaos and destruction.

[annathesillyfriend]

Anna's August Fic Recs

Welcome to my August fic recommendations masterpost!! This has been quite a busy month for me but I'm holding onto last weeks of freedom. I am trying to read as much before uni starts and I had a pleasure of reading some brilliant fics this month. I am so excited to share them with you all! I hope your summer is going amazing and to those, who have just started classes - good luck!

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!

To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.

HOLLAND & Co.

✨ Tom Holland

revenges is sweet by @t-lostinworlds

series, social media au, college!au, football player!tom, fake dating, idiots to lovers, all of our fave tropes, i am invested in this series more than i am in my own life, it's just that good

sunkissed by @duskholland

one-shot, 18+, surfer!tom x lifeguard!tom, exes to lovers, h's great mind at its finest 👏

souvenirs of the heart by @veryholland

one-shot, brought me to tears no joke, such a beutiful story, mila did such an amazing job!!

heartbreak girl by @lauras-collection

one-shot, 18+, lead singer!tom, based on 5SOS song, this is so goooood 😫😫 this story lives in my heart rent free right nextdoor to laura!!

act 1: scene 5 and 6 by @youandtom

one-shot, best friends to lovers, helping tom with learning lines, i loved this very much!

happier than ever by @vendettaparker

one-shot, tom being the great lad he is comes to save an awful date and we stan

the trial of the eldest holland by @reawritesthings

one-shot, ex!tom, welcome to the angst town! this is so deeply heartbreaking but so beautifully written!

lucky to be in love by @hollandsvogue

one-shot, rose is going staright for my silly little heart :')

slide in by @uglypastels

one-shot, frat!tom, i fall in love with this story time and time again

white winged dove by @muhollands

one-shot, 18+, conuntry!tom, insert country boy i love you vine here (also, i'd like to take this moment to kindly invite you all to go through d's whole masterlist cause it's brilliant. this mj blurb has sent me straight to hell but it's so worth it)

abide by @hazofmyheart

one-shot, 18+, mob!au, tom x reader x harrison, this made me feel some type of way 👁👄👁

getting ahead of ourselves by @/hazofmyheart

one-shot, 18+, college! lacrosse player!tom holland x tutor!reader, this is soft, this is cute, this is hot, this is everything! 12/10 would recommend

✨ Harrison Osterfield

little lune by @dovenymph

one-shot, celebrating your birthday with haz, made me want a refund for my birthday cause it's so lovely 🥺🥺

it will come back by @greenorangevioletgrass

one-shot, part of the rich kid!au series, 18+, richkid!haz x richkid!reader x actor!tom, there are no words in any language that would let me express how much i love ava and this au

✨ Harry Holland

wild side by @softholand

one-shot, 18+, best friends to lovers, that trope was made to be written about mister harry holland, i swear

lost in your light by @spider-barnes

one-shot, 18+, best friends to lovers, bloody lovely 💛

falling in love at a coffee shop by @/spider-barnes

one-shot, college!au, oh to fall in love with harry holland at a coffee shop 😫

hope is frightening thing by @peterplanet

one-shot, writer!reader x first da!harry, her book gets a film adaptation and harry is being is wonderful self 🥰

my forever by @unsaidholland

blurb, talking about your future with him, it's just 🥰🥰

circles by @farfromharry

one-shot, rich kid!au, enemies to lovers, so wonderful!

MARVEL

🎂 Suz's birthday fics

this total babe @samwilsons-pillowpecs gave us four beautiful gift on her birthday! we adore you, lovely 🥰 these stories are all wonderful anddeserve their own category 💛

you're the glitter in the dark

one-shot, 18+, mob!bucky

if i could touch you...

one-shot, 18+, boxer!steve

love you in a thousand ways

one-shot, 18+, ceo!sam

miss your kiss

one-shot, 18+, biker!thor

🎂@rodrikstark ’s 1.5k follower celebration!

collecion of headcanons with our favourite marvel boys as well as some other characters, i bloody love them all but my numer one has got to be joaquin teaching you spanish 😌

✨ Sam Wilson

book smart by @indyluckycharlie

one-shot, librarian!sam x PhD student!reader, such a warm and comfy little story by my dearest cate who i love very much 😌

he we go again by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, idiots in love 🥰🥰

adventures in babysitting captain america and winter solider by @princessmisery666

one-shot, reader takes the boys to disneyland and it's just so amazing!

stay awhile by @lacapucharoja

one-shot, black!reader, a saturday morning with sam 😌😌

slow motion by @ambrosiase

one-shot, 18+, sam in baggy grey sweatpants and no underwear, need i say more?

✨ Steve Rogers

bullies, bullied by @anika-ann

one-shot, my main babe is blessing us with protective steve and i love her 🥰

there's a peace in dreaming by @babycap

one-shot, i don't have the words to tell you how stunning this story is, please go read it

✨ Bucky Barnes

timer by @xbuchananbarnes

series, soulmate!au based on the movie TiMER (2009). i could go on and on about how incredible that series is but with dani it's a given, sooo 🤷‍♀️

the kids will be alright by @imaginationintowords

series, social media au, lawyer!bucky x interior designer!reader, single dad!bucky, single mom!reader raising their kid together as friends, also reader x clark kent. honestly this is one of my fave social media aus of all time. and it's got a sequel is coming!!

quick fix by @ocean-bucky

one-shot, tfatws!bucky x ofc, vidra is the queen of ofc's, you simply can't not love her characters!

grant (part 2) by @coffeecatsandsarcasm

two-shot, bucky's in a relationship with a single mom with a little boy, it's so soft, i love this little family!

before sunset, i fell by @buckysbiota

one-shot, modern!au, when i get drunk i get myself cake, when reader got drunk, she got herself a husband. a very fine husband 😏

alcohol you later by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, is it the 4th of dani's fics on this list? yes, she's just that powerful

three flags up by @starbuckie

one-shot, 18+, campcounselor!bucky x campcounselor!reader, best friends to lovers, buck being a cute little puppy in love and i adore him very much

and he kissed me right there by @sunmoonandbucky

one-shot, veteran!bucky, age gap, this is so full of feelings and it's gonna steal your heart!

lost and found by @sunshinebuckybarnes

two-shot, neighbour!bucky, alpine being the matchmaker of the year and we love that for her

hazy dreams and good mornings by @angrythingstarlight

one-shot, 18+, firefighter!bucky, i think that's enough encouragement to read this gem 😏

✨ Joaquin Torres

red by @remmysbounty

one-shot, a truly exceptional story!!

hold my words, keep us together by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, soulmate!au, just simply stunning!

✨Peter Parker

love lies by @rosyparkers

series, social media au, y/n is silk but peter doesn't know it, peter is spiderman but y/n doesn't know it, sarah is the brightest star in the universe and everyone knows it

sunset lovers by @duskholland

one-shot, college! au, soulmate!au where what your soulmate writes on their skin, appears on yours. i don't think i have to tell you that eveything written by h, my beloved is pure gold. the softest thing!

always waiting (for you to come home) by @peterbenjiparker

one-shot, reader comes to peter cause she needs him to patch her up after patrol, it's so funny and sweet and i just love it so much, m is the bestest!!

perfectly a little late by @/t-lostinworlds

one-shot, college!au, reader forgets about peter's birthday. or does she 👀 please, give a round of applause for this wonderful writer who's been feeding us so well this month 👏👏

this fic by @peeterparkr

one-shot, last kiss with peter :') nancy knows all the most beautiful ways to break someone's heart

the plan by @spideyyeet

series, aveneger!reader, reader likes peter, peter likes mj, mysterio shows up, lots of angsty things happen. it's so bloody good, my mates, go read it!!

burning red by @spideyspeaches

one-shot, avenger!reader who who describes people's personalities as colors, it's just a stunning story with wonderful writing and i love it!!

this fic by @mcumendes

blurb, peter brings y/n flowers and is very very adorable!!

kiss me more by @celestialholland

one-shot, first make out with peter and i'm just 😫😫 in love

the reveal by @cloudybarnes

one-shot, best friends!reader where she finds out about him being spiderman, so lovely!!

always by @ptersmj

one-shot, an absolutely adorable best friends to lovers moment

red-handed by @/vendettaparker

one-shot, stark!reader, morgan interrupts y/n and peter's alone time 😏😂

OTHERS

✨ Spencer Reid

as told by flowers by @reidingmelodies

one-shot, story about the progress of the relationship with spencer told by flowers (duh 😂), it's just wonderful!!

✨ Frank Adler

thnks fr th mmrs by @wiypt-writes

one-shot, 18+, reader goes to frank the night before his wedding, i love this with everything i have

will you hold on my love by @writerwrites

one-shot, don't come anywhere near this piece without tissues!!

✨ Ransom Drysdale

undercover boss by @chase-your-dreams-away

series, reader's working at drysdales' company and hooks up with ransom not knowing who he is. this series is so bloody good! i love the reader in here so much!!

a/n: if you catch some kind of mistake or if you see that i miscredited someone - please let me know so i can change that!

[etherealeeknow]

the fwb rules

• rated m for mature

• pairing: fwb!hyunjin x fem!reader

• wc: 4.559

• tw: explicit language, light characterization of an insecure reader, unprotected piv sex (stay safe, lovelies!), fingering & oral (f), nipple play, cream pie— i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:

• note: last time i said long fic isn’t my forte and this time i’ll still say the same hahahahaha. but still, i hope i don’t disappoint 🥺 please kindly note that english isn’t my first language. therefore, i apologize for any mistakes. feedbacks are always appreciated because i’d love to grow! thank you for waiting and enjoy 💞 pretty banner made by my bestie!! ilysm 😽😽😽

• tag list: @charlieshelves @es-kay-zee @formidxble @oh-my-sparkle @bobateastay @http-hyxnjxn @lyralurexrattle @hyunsluvv @healinghyunjin @sailorhyunjinz

—

what happened to the rules?

it didn’t start off like this. you can’t remember when exactly you started wondering about the five word question. all you know is that you were one bite away from gobbling a spoonful of jisung’s ice cream when it struck you: since when did you and hyunjin stop going by the rules? he’s been occasionally texting you out of the blue lately just to know what you’re up to, and today he even asked you to stay the night at his, and as much as you want to believe they’re all normal, again, it didn’t start off like this. from the beginning, you and hyunjin have come up with three rules so your relationship can work: one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking. but look at you now, lying naked and out of breath under his blanket while facing his ceiling, driving yourself insane over the haunted question. you have to get it off your chest somehow, but how? 

“hey, why so serious?” asks the culprit behind your overthinking, causing you to jump slightly over his sudden appearance and your hands instinctively pull up the blanket to cover your naked chest, which as a result, makes him chuckle. cute. “here. it’s my cousin’s,” adds the topless man as he sits on the edge of the bed and hands you a white shirt that even under the dim light, you can already tell won’t fit you.

“your cousin? the model? hyunjin, she’s tiny,” you utter, hands still gripping onto the blanket. “i’m—“

“you,” he cuts you off, placing a hand on top of yours while carefully glancing at you to make sure you there aren’t any signs of discomfort. “are fine, y/n. now hurry up. i’m sleepy,” he adds before letting go, leaving behind a lingering warmth on your knuckles.

nodding, you turn your back on him to change, and the room falls silent, causing you to hear how fast your heart is thumping even more than it should have. is it because you had too much coffee this morning? or it can probably be because the shirt is too tight that it’s cutting off your air circulation, right? right, of course. you tell yourself because as much as you dislike both reasons, they are still far better than having hyunjin as the cause.

once you’re done, hyunjin already has his back lying against the bedhead, his head tilting slightly to the side, avoiding the light coming from the night lamp on the bedside table, while his eyes bore deeply into yours. unbothered that he’s been caught staring, he averts his gaze downwards till they reach your chest and spot how your nipples are sticking out through the thin fabric.

“see? it fits you just fine,” he says, turning his vision back to your face as he opens his arms and motions them at you, only to have you remain in the same position with your increasing heartbeat.

“aren’t you gonna, uh, wear something?”

instead of a proper answer, all you get is his laugh—hyunjin’s contagious laugh that usually always succeeds in making you laugh too. but today hits differently. has his laugh always sounded this lighthearted before? no matter what the answer is, one thing for sure is that despite how sweet hwang hyunjin and his laugh are, they have never made your cheeks burn like this before, and this is forbidden. it’s against the rules.

“an hour ago we were naked while sucking each other’s face, y/n,” he finally answers after a while. “besides, i always sleep like this. now, come on,” he adds, repeating the same gesture, except this time his hands are open wider, eager to have you near him again because the space around him is starting to make him feel lonely.

complying with him, you fall into his embrace and hyunjin immediately lets his hands travel to the exact places of where they want to be—one around your head and the other around your waist. despite the room turning less cold with his warmth directly passing onto you, your heart and cheeks conditions remain the same especially since you can hear how hyunjin’s heartbeats are beating just as fast as yours when he lets you lay your head on his chest.

“hyunjin,” you call out, hands fiddling with the collar of your shirt.

“y/n,” he replies, replacing the collar with his fingers instead, intertwining them with yours.

what happened to the rules?

“do... do fwb do these?” you ask, the bravery in you finally decide to show up, even just for a little.

“do this?” he asks back while squeezing your hand with all his might, as if he’s nervous.

no. not ‘this’, but ‘these’. not only the hand grabbing, but also the fact that he asked you to stay the night, that he’s cuddling you to sleep, and that you’ve been getting unusual symptoms over them until this very moment.

“yes, this,” you nod and hyunjin becomes muted, but his heartbeats are growing louder, and his grip on you has become tighter.

after what feels like forever, he whispers, voice slightly cracking, and hands getting a little colder, “yes. yes, they do.”

then the two of you become muted, but both heartbeats keep growing louder, and everything stays that way until sleep eventually takes over.

—

as a homebody, you’ve always against the idea of sleepovers. you believe home is the sweetest place and your own bed is the comfiest even when your mattress is older than a decade and your favorite plushie has had too many holes here and there. but waking up in hyunjin’s bed has broken your stigma—never in your whole life that you’d have thought someone else’s bed can provide you twice the comfort.

“looks like someone had a good sleep,” chirps jisung as he sits beside you, causing you to wipe off the smile on your face before going back to your laptop.

“wow suddenly my best friend’s a psychic?”

“hey, that’d actually make a great drama title!” he exclaims and you roll your eyes. “please do spill the tea though. what happened?” he adds.

“what happened?” you ask back, eyes still on the screen, but the corner of your lips are on the verge of breaking into the smile, knowing full well he’ll complain—which he does by lamely calling you a meanie.

laughing, you tell him nothing happened, but the way he rolls his eyes is a sign he’s not taking any of your bullshit. you are telling the truth though. besides spending the night with each other, nothing really happened, right? it was just another casual fucking session. yes, it was amazing, but that’s no news for jisung. the guy’s practically your wingman—setting you up with hyunjin was his idea because he believes you should, “live your life. have that dreamy college sex orelse you’ll regret it like my old man changbin!”

right on cue, a notification popped out on your big screen, and the sender’s name makes your heart pop too.

“aha, see!” jisung points at it. “y/n, where are you?” he reads out loud, earning yourselves all the eyes from every other student in class.

“oh my god, jisung. shut up!” right when you’re about to log out from the chat app, hyunjin sends another one.

“can i call you?” jisung reads once more and you’re only one second away from smacking his head, but your vibrating phone holds you back.

shooting jisung a glare, you make sure to close your laptop before leaving the class, answering hyunjin’s call even when you’re still half way through the door. right when you’re about to greet him hello, hyunjin beats you to it—his voice a bit raspy, but the softness in his tone still lies within, and it creates endless questions in your mind.

has he just woken up? so is this how he sounds in the morning? why is he calling?

and the list goes on because this isn’t like hyunjin at all. sure, he’s not validating the rules, but he’s breaking his character despite already alarming you to anticipate morning booty calls from him at times. he’s never actually done that though. 

“hi,” you reply, startling yourself with how small your voice came out.

“you left,” says hyunjin and you can hear him sighing from the other line, which somehow causes a slight pang in your heart, wondering if perhaps he is disappointed. “can you come back? wait, actually, let me go to you instead.” he says and you can hear the rustling sounds coming from his side.

“hyunjin, i have class. that’s why i left. i—” should you apologize? but why should you? casual, no strings attached, and no fucks given, remember? “i’m sorry.”

“oh.” hyunjin stops on his track before plopping back down onto the bed, smiling. “i’ll pick you up after class then. when will you finish?”

unconsciously, a smile creeps up your face too, but the realization hits you right after, then followed by the five word question, and you know—you know this is your guts telling you that now’s the time to ask him about it, but your heart hates confrontation. plus, wouldn’t it be rude to reply to someone else’s question with a question? “hyunjin, are you, uh, horny?”

just like yesterday, hyunjin laughs, and with the raspiness in his voice still present, he doesn’t fail to make you laugh along, but at the same time waking the butterflies in your stomach and makes you rethink your decision. mayhaps, you should’ve left him a note or told him that you’ll leave early in the morning; or even, you should’ve ditched classes today and stayed so when he wakes up, you can get him a glass of water, not leaving the boy uncared for like this. but who are you to do so? 

“isn’t it normal for a guy to have a morning wood?” he jokes before quickly adding that he’s not horny. “i just want to see you so let me go get you.”

pressing your lips together, you contemplate on whether you should let him. if you do, won’t you be turning whatever the two of you have right now into something far more complicated? but it’s only until hyunjin adds a desperate “please?” that all of your dilemma disappears, as if you’re being cast into his spell—“okay.”

—

while heading to the gate, you have the biggest urge to book a massage appointment. dodging jisung’s questions and running away from him after the first period was draining, but having to spend the day running back and forth between two buildings because thinking that volunteering as the lecturers’ teaching assistant was draining on a whole new level. other than feeling like your legs are gonna come off, your mind also feels like it’s gonna blow off—you can’t stop recalling all the things you need to start working on as soon as possible, but stepping into hyunjin’s car turns everything to 180 degrees.

you’d like to think that it’s because of the faint lavender aroma coming from his car freshener along with the heavenly cool air conditioner, but no. you know full well it’s because of the way hyunjin’s smile lit up, his eyes disappear into two small crescent moons, and his blonde hair which is becoming one with the warm orange sky that brings peace to your heart.

“hi,” he breathes out the moment you close the door, and you do the same except for looking at him, which causes hyunjin to furrow his eyebrows while speeding away.

the way home is silent, just the way you like it, but you know full well that it’s not hyunjin’s cup of tea. he doesn’t need to say it, his action is showing it all as he’s been fidgeting non stop, wiping his sweaty palm along his jeans while occasionally licking his plump lips. hyunjin’s a very vocal person. he’s talkative and loud—including in bed. you press your warm cheeks over the realization of your own thoughts, embarrassed. you can’t possibly suspect hyunjin for being horny in the morning when you yourself are being like this in the afternoon. it’s uncalled for.

noticing you from the corner of his eye, hyunjin calls out, asking you if there’s anything wrong, totally catching you off guard. what should you say? lying is not your forte, but being honest clearly isn’t the best option right now, at least, not before you shower and appear presentable in front of him—but wait, since when did that matter so much? a few months ago, you even fucked after you ran a marathon.

“y/n?” calls hyunjin for the second time.

“look, hyunjin, really, it’s okay if you’re horny. you can pull over and i can, uh, relieve you and i can just take the bus home after,” you spit out shamelessly while looking at him straight in the eyes, eager to get far away from hyunjin as fast as possible before you go out of your mind.

just like the night before, hyunjin laughs. and just like the night before, his laugh hits differently and it does nothing other than burning your already burnt cheeks for the worse.

“i swear to god, y/n, i’m not horny. i genuinely want to take you home. nothing more,” explains hyunjin, head straight at the road but eyes repeatedly stealing glances at you. “and nothing less,” he adds, voice barely audible but you caught it.

“o— oh.” is all you manage to respond before the ride quickly turns quiet and hyunjin’s hands begin fidgeting again, all the while you’re trying to decode what he has just said—what does he mean by genuinely wanting to take you home? do fwb do this too? what happened to no fucks given?—and it goes on until hyunjin hits the break in front of your old apartment building.

“we’re here,” says hyunjin, breaking the silence by unlocking the car door.

“we’re here,” you repeat after him, already opening the door and setting a foot out. “uh, thank you.”

“don’t mention it.” hyunjin shoots you his signature smile the moment you lower yourself to meet his eye level from outside the car; this time, you have no choice but to fall under his spell.

“hey, uh, you wanna come in?” you ask, biting your lower lip as a way to punish yourself for being so indecisive. one second you want to run away from him and the next second you want to be near him. come on, get a grip.

as if the punishment isn’t enough, hyunjin declines your offer, all while chuckling with his head thrown back. “for the third time, y/n. i’m not horny. go in and rest up.” 

“if you say so.” you shrug, giving him a small smile before turning around, making sure not to look back, only to fail when you hear the engine driving away.

—

you can’t quite tell—no, you can’t tell. you don’t get it. there’s an unexplainable empty space in your heart that is caused by hyunjin’s rejection. is it because you’re just not used to see him without having to fuck him? or is it because you’re hurt over the fact that he’s not in the mood to touch you? is it because of last night? is he finally sick of your flaws? things would probably be different if you had retouched your makeup or at least combed your hair before seeing him, would they? either way, you’re fully aware you shouldn’t be torn over your friend with benefits, yet your aching heart says otherwise.

and so when the doorbell rings only a few seconds after you get in and the figure you see through the peephole is no other than the man in question, you spare no time to swing the door open. hyunjin, in return, spares no time to lock his lips with yours right after he utters a brief apology. just like the way hyunjin sneaks his playful hands down your ass, you sneak your tongue in his mouth, and your action makes him smile into the kiss as he leads you back into the room and kicks the door shut with his long legs.

the way to your bedroom is actually pretty short, but with your tongues moving in sync, bodies pressing—glued, even, and eyes continuously closing in pleasure, the short way to your bedroom consists of endless stumbling, tripping, and bumping the door. once inside, you break the kiss and are about to undress yourself when hyunjin beats you to it, settling you down on the bed as he begins taking off your attire one by one ever so effortlessly. and in just a matter of seconds, his lips are back on yours again, floral scented hair falling and brushing against your cheeks, leaving you no time to wonder over the fact that it’s the first time hyunjin has ever undressed you. 

as the kiss continues, you can feel yourself gushing more and more that you start grinding on him mindlessly, needing to feel more than just his bulge poking you. your hands leave his blonde strands to tug on his hoodie, only to have him stop you—one hand around your grip and the other rests on your hip.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“need you. need to feel you,” you mumble, desperation so visible through your cracked voice. 

“what happened to the girl who was all flustered to sleep with me last night just because i was shirtless?”

autumn nights aren’t supposed to be hot, but hyunjin has proven he has the power to make the impossible happen just with his words and mocking smirk. but the rising heat on your cheeks is nothing compared to the emptiness you feel below, clenching around nothing surely isn’t the best feeling.

“please, jinnie,” you whine, tugging on his hoodie once more, hips moving against his hold.

“fuck.” is all he manages to say before getting off the bed to disrobe himself—hoodie and track pants thrown across the room, now showcasing his toned body and thighs altogether as he hovers over you.

“please take this off too. it looks suffocating,” you say, index finger running faintly through the bulge forming from his tight boxer, making it stand up even more and hyunjin has no choice but to obey you. “put your hair up too please,” you add just when he’s about to dive right back in, and again, your wish is his command.

biting to pull off his hair tie from his wrist, hyunjin smoothly ties his hair back and you’re only given a few seconds to admire his feature before his plump lips coming in contact with your hardened nipple while he toys with the other using his fingers—rubbing and pinching, making your breath hitch over the sensation, fingers digging into his bare shoulders because you don’t want to mess up his hair, and hyunjin’s low grunts pretty much indicate he’s loving it.

“more, please. give me m—”

hyunjin retreats his hand and tongue away from your breast, moving them to your naked pussy,  drawing circles on your outer labia with his middle finger. he teases you just enough and quickly slides in his digit and at the same time sucks on your clit right before you’re about to complain, making you tingle from head to toe.

“you hear that?” he asks, voice muffled, the effect of being too tongue tied from licking every part of your heat, but finger working its magic perfectly, creating loud wet noises from your fluid. “drenched. my pretty y/n is drenched,” says hyunjin, and as much as you want to comment on him for the pet name, you’re too caught up on how his lips vibrate against you the moment he starts palming himself with his unoccupied hand. if he keeps it up, you know you would come undone there and then, and you don’t want that—not yet. so you ask him to stop and he instantly does as told.

“what’s wrong? did i hurt you?” there’s fear written across his expression and heard from his tone, but you’d like to believe your eyes and lips are just playing tricks on you.

“n— no. i just,” you pause to avoid his gazes, but something within you pulls your attention back on him. “i wanna cum with you inside me,” you confess, voice barely audible due to embarrassment; all this time, it’s always been hyunjin to say such things, but perhaps, all the strange tension lately has finally gotten the best of you. you hear him mutter a low “fuck” while his pupils shakes for a brief moment before they somehow appear a shade darker. licking his lower lip, hyunjin pulls you by your legs and rests them on his shoulders, and proceeds to align his tip with your entrance, once again teasing your throbbing core.

the moment you whine is the moment hyunjin pushes himself inside ever so gently, but the stretching still has you throwing your head back, while hyunjin letting our airy moans upon your walls clenching around him. none of you can tell how it’s possible for your vagina to remain so tight after all the countless fucking session for the past half year, but hyunjin doesn’t find that troubling. in fact, he lives for that and it shows from the way his eyes roll to the back of his head as he begins thrusting in and out of you—slowly but steady, veiny hands secured on your hips, vision goes back and forth from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.

hyunjin leans down to kiss you for a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, he quickens his pace—leaning down once more so his length can go deeper in you, hitting your g-spot. at that very moment, you mentally praise yourself for placing the bedroom mirror right across the bed. it presents you with the magnificent view of hyunjin’s rounded, firm ass bouncing rhythmically whenever he snaps his hips, and placing your hands around them, squeezing them, nearly makes you drool over the sight. with hyunjin constant thrusts, the familiar knot in your abdomen starts to bubble up.

“oh my god,” the two of you whimper in unison as hyunjin begins to lose his tempo, moves also grow sloppy, but never once misses your spot.

“y/n, i— ah— i’m so close. fuck,” he breathes out, sweat forming on his forehead, wetting his baby hair down to his neck and chest, and you can only drool helplessly at the sight.

“me too. please cum inside me, cum with me, hyunjin, please, please,” you beg, voice a pitch higher, almost sounds like you strain your throat, and it stays the same. when you feel hyunjin twitch inside you, your hands automatically reach for the bed sheet again, but it only lasts for a second before they’re being taken by hyunjin’s own hands—he has never done this. while intertwining your fingers, his cock twitches again and his eyes roll to the back of his head, jaw falls open as he calls out your name—you naturally do the same, fingers pressing flat against his white knuckles

“hyu—”

“cum, baby,” he cuts you off, averting his hazy eyes on you, and that’s all it takes for you to break—your orgasm washes over you like waves and you cum undone around hyunjin, shaking and mewling altogether while feel the wet coldness around your inner thigh. hyunjin follows right after, shooting his hot cement inside of you; the man can no longer keep his eyes open as he buries his face on the crook of your neck, his choked moans bring music right to your ear all a while his hot breaths bring goosebumps to your unrecovered body.

after riding out your highs, none of you move. hyunjin stays on top of you, his chest rises and falls according to your hard breathing. somehow, it’s calming you down, but it shouldn’t.

“hyunjin, you’re heavy.”

“oh, sorry,” he chuckles and even without looking, you can tell his eyes are smiling too. with his remaining strength, hyunjin pushes himself up and rests on your thighs to pull his dick out of you, momentarily admiring the mixture of his juice and yours dripping down your cunt before fixing his eyes on you to study your face—also something he has never done before. 

“i’m sorry,” he mutters a few moments later, eyes now on you.

tilting your head, you sit up, resting your upper body with your hands on the bed. “all of a sudden? i came? you always make me feel good.”

“that’s what i’m sorry about. i— i didn’t mean to— i mean, i—”

you reach out to him, gently patting his thigh. “hyunjin, calm down. this isn’t like you,” you whisper the last sentence, knowing that perhaps, now’s the time to talk things out, to stop whatever is going on, and go back to how things are used to be, maybe? your heart’s just been restless for too long and apparently, hyunjin seems to be in a similar situation too.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to keep using you like this. i genuinely meant what i said. i only wanted to take you home, but we ended up here and—”

“isn’t that what fwb do?” you pull your hand off his thigh, and a frown painted across his face as if he’s questioning your question. “that’s what we agreed on. we have our fwb rules, remember?”

“one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking,” says hyunjin, proving he has memorized every words to the back of his mind.

nodding, you carefully bring back your hand to his thigh, repeating the same movement you did before. “exactly. so you don’t have to be sorry. don’t worry, i’m not feeling used at all.” you end it with a smile.

hyunjin mirrors you, he smiles too; his eyes fall to where your hand is. “but what if i’m breaking them? the rules,” asks the boy whose cold hand is now on top of your warm one. “what if i like you?” his eyes find their way back to you, and that’s when you know. the difference between your temperatures; the difference between your smile and his—the sadness that lies within.

that’s when you understand. everything finally makes sense; every one of hyunjin’s unusual acts. the constant texts and calls, the undressing, the pet names, the facial expression, the hand holding.

what happened to the rules? feelings. that’s what happened. to hyunjin, it’s his feelings over the rules.

but you, what about you? the butterflies, the irregular increasing heartbeats, the flushing cheeks, the overthinking, the disappointment at some point.

“y/n,” hyunjin calls out and you don’t get to get back to him because he’s already an inch away from you, momentarily eyeing your lips before he closes the distance. once again, his blonde hair falls down, brushing against his cheek before meeting yours and it tickles you, but not in the same way as how his kiss tickles your heart; giddy.

what happened to the rules? unwanted feelings. that’s what happened. to you, it’s the unwanted feelings against the rules. and for now, the unwanted feelings are too strong for you to push him away, so you pull him close instead. for now.

—

gen’s masterlist

repeating this!! special note: HUGE THANK YOU for my awesome bestie for the banner 🥺💞💞 ily, bish!! thank you for being my beta reader too 😽😽😽

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Laisse tomber les filles 3

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; tags to be added as story progresses

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: Lee’s slowly creepin’ and I hope you’re ready for it.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You slurped the last of your shake through the straw, the paper cup damp in your cold hands as the heater blew out hot air. The foamy dregs of the drink were overly sweet and made your cheeks twinge. Lee popped the lid off his cup and offered it and you slipped yours inside. He pulled the straw out and stacked the lids, squeezing both straws through and setting it on the seat beside him.

He stretched his arm over the leather, his hand just behind your head and you listened to the deep voice of the narrator recount the eerie words of HP Lovecraft. You fidgeted and looked at your watch. The sky was dark and the stars twinkled down ominously.

“Um,” you uttered, “I think... uh…”

He looked at you and his hand hovered close to your shoulder, “what is it, honey?”

“I think I should get home,” you finished.

“Oh, why’s that? You don’t got class tomorrow, do ya?”

“I don’t but… well, I’m tired,” you rubbed your neck and sat up so he couldn’t touch you, “I had an early morning.”

“Well, of course,” he retracted his arm and straightened up, he pulled the car into gear and slowly pressed down on the gas, “you should get to bed, little girl.”

You scowled at the venom in his last two words. He’d been nice but he had no right to patronize you. You hated that most. People thought because you were quiet they could just treat you like you were dull.

“I’m not… not a little girl,” you eked out.

“Ah, I didn’t mean nothing by it,” he said as he pulled out of the lot, “you are little though, ain’t ya?”

You felt a peculiar heat creep up your neck and cheeks. You were short but you’d met a few people smaller than you. People came in all shapes and sizes. You didn’t comment on his stomach or the wrinkles around his eyes. Yet, the humour in his voice kept you from rebuke.

“I guess, I…”

‘I don’t mean it as an insult, you see?” he chuckled, “kinda cute you can’t reach the floor.”

“Mmm,” you inhaled and pursed your lips. You pulled the collar of your pea coat closed and wiggled your foot nervously.

“I see,” he said, “you got your friends waitin’ on ya, huh? Yeah, young girl like you don’t wanna be hanging around an old man all night.”

“I didn’t say that,” you said.

“Hey, I’m not stupid, I was only bein’ nice,” he interrupted, “you looked lonely and I… I got carried away.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” you scrambled as he passed by the college entrance, “I was… I don’t know.”

“Well, you’re in such a hurry, honey, you can’t wait to be away from me,” he ranted, “actin’ all sweet and shy but you just like the rest of them.”

“What?” you grimaced and watched the buildings pass by, “no, I’m not. I…” you felt guilty as if you’d done something wrong. All you wanted was to go home and lay down, but it felt like a personal affront. “I… lied.”

“What?” he asked as your voice fizzled.

“I lied, sir,” you confessed, “I don’t have any friends. Not really, just… classmates.”

“Nah, that can’t be true,” he scoffed, “who wouldn’t wanna be friends with a pretty girl like you?”

“No, no, please, I… I’m sorry, I just want to go home, okay? I’m tired,” you cupped your cheek and slumped in defeat.

He was quiet for a moment as he drove along. He turned along the line of residences and streetlights flashed over his profile as he stared at the road. He flipped into park as he stopped in front of your building and nodded. 

“Alright, I believe you,” he said at last, “I don’t wanna keep you up and I didn’t mean to get so upset. It's just, well, I like being with you.”

“It’s fine, thank you… for everything. The milkshake was good.”

“No, I mean it, it’s a pity no one else can see it,” he went on, “you’re real smart and nice. You got a pretty smile too when you show it, too.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly as you gripped the door handle, “that’s very kind. I should go--”

“Wait, wait,” he caught your arm, not tightly, but kept you from getting out as the door opened an inch, “can I come back? Next week, we’ll have another shake and listen to the show. I’m really curious what happens.”

“I don’t know, I… I have lots of work to do,” you looked at his large hand on your arm. He dropped it and wiped his palm on his brown pants.

“You bring your homework, honey, you can study and listen, I don’t mind,” he offered, “if you don’t want a shake, we can get some burgers and fries. Have a nice dinner?”

You smushed your lips together and thought. He hadn’t done anything bad enough to warrant that feeling in your gut. You were overthinking things just like you always did. Besides, he had to be almost fifty, he was just being friendly, he said it himself. 

And what else did you have to do? You didn’t have any friends and it was too late to start making them.

“I… okay,” you said softly, “my book club ends at seven. It’s over at Clover Hall.”

“I’ll find you there then,” he smiled, “now go on, before I keep you out any later.”

You got out and scooped out your bag with you. You closed the door and headed up the path without looking back. You got to the door and focused on unlocking it. Your hands were shaking and your mind was reeling. You always lamented being little more than a fly on the wall but it was completely overwhelming to be noticed.

📚

You clacked away on the keys of your typewriter. Your dorm room was small and stuffy as dry heat rose from the dingy old radiator. You could hear your roommates in the kitchen as they gabbed and laughed loudly. You were jealous yet too intimidated to try and ingratiate yourself. You always just ended up in the corner as everyone else had fun.

Your assignment was to write a review of a primary resource borrowed from your visit to the archive. You carefully looked over the laminated manuscript between sentences. Your small radio played in the background and you couldn’t help but nod to the full tones of the jazzy music.

You were drawn from your entranced study by a knock at your door. It was unusual to be disturbed unless there were chores to dole out. You didn’t have time to wipe up their messes again. You got up and went to the door and opened it an inch.

“Hi,” you said meekly as Gina stood with a box in her hands.

“This is for you,” she held out the package, “it was down at the residence office.”

“Me?” you let the door fall open and took the box, “I don’t…” You looked it over but there was no address, only your name, “thank you.”

She left without another word and you nudged the door shut with your elbow as you turned. Your parents only sent you letters, they didn’t like to pay the pricy postage for a whole package. You put the box down on your single bed and peeled back the brown tape. The flaps came open and you peeked inside curiously.

You took out the skirt, a yellow plaid piece shorter than anything you’d ever owned. It was the new style found on the cover of Vogue. You put it aside and reach for the blouse, a pure white thing with bell sleeves. Lastly, a pair of knee high heels to top off the mod look.

There was an envelope amid it all, the note inside short and scribbled.

‘Saw this and thought of you, honey.’

You stared at the paper and folded it back up. It was a nice gesture but you couldn’t wear that. You couldn’t accept the gift either, it was too much. Every garment you owned was second-hand and you’d seen the prices of these clothes in the magazines. 

And, you wondered as you packed the box and shoved it against the wall, why would the sheriff buy you all that? His friendliness made you uneasy. It was suffocating and yet, you could find no fault in someone being too generous. 

You realised too, how little you knew about him. What if he had wife or even a family? What if he didn’t? What if he was only doing it to fill in some gap in his life? Maybe he was playing out some father-daughter relationship he never had.

Well, you could ask him next time you saw him. Or try to.

[babymetaldoll]

"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)

My gif 😉

Requested: Yes

Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.

Warnings: Cursing

Category: Fluff

Word count: 4,5K

A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!

Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.

That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.

- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.

- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.

He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.

- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.

- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.

- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"

- "Hey. I'm..."

- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.

- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.

- "Yeah."

- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?

- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"

- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.

- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.

- "Who are you guys talking about?"

Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.

- "No one"- I lied and looked away.

- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.

- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."

- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."

- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.

- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.

- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."

Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.

- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."

I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.

- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.

- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.

- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."

- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.

- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.

- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.

- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.

- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.

- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.

- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.

- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.

- "I didn't want to think of that!"

- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."

- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."

- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."

I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.

- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."

- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.

- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."

- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.

- "That's how good it was."

The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.

- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."

- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.

- "Why not?"

- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.

- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.

- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"

- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."

His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.

He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?

Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.

- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.

- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.

- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."

- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."

And Spencer just snorted at my words.

- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.

- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.

- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."

- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."

I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.

But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.

I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.

- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.

- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.

- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.

- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"

- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."

- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.

- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.

Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.

I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?

I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.

I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.

Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.

But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.

Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.

I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.

But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.

It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.

- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.

- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.

- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"

I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.

- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.

- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.

- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."

Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.

- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.

- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.

- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"

- "I didn't mean to."

- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."

I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.

- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.

- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.

- "I was wrong..."

- "Why did you do it?"

I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.

But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.

- "I did it because I am in love with you."

Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.

- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.

- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."

There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.

I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.

Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.

I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.

My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.

- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.

- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."

- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.

- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.

- "Me too."

That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.

But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.

- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."

- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.

- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.

- "I'm so sorry..."

But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.

I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.

- "Come here."

I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.

I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.

It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.

- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.

- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.

- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.

- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.

- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.

- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.

- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.

- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.

- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.

- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.

- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.

- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.

- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.

- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."

- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."

- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.

- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.

- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.

- "You are adorable when you ramble."

- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled

- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.

- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."

- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."

- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.

- "Anything for you."

**

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego

[voiceless-terror]

Outside the Lines

for @archivalpride month! the prompt was ‘sharing clothes’ so I decided to add on a bit to my More than Enough archives polycule fic. you don’t need to read it beforehand, though. 2.2k words, cw in the tags.

Jon likes Sasha’s clothes. Particularly, her cardigans.

They’re warm, oversized things in pastel colors, chunky cable knits and ancient pullovers, smelling faintly of jasmine and sandalwood. There’s always one draped over the back of her chair at work, at home. Sometimes a pile of them.

“Just in case,” she said knowingly, when Jon mentioned the teetering pile on the back of her office chair. 

“Of what, a blizzard?” he replied archly, to which she had no response.

But Jon runs cold, so it makes sense that he’d like them. And eye them. And eventually, borrow them.

“You look good in pink,” she said casually, walking by him cozily wrapped up, surrounded by books for his latest case. “You should wear it more often.” Jon just grumbled in response.

It now sits on the back of his chair.

Point is, they’re not strangers to sharing clothes. Once they move in together, the lines blur even more. Jon’s scarves become hers, her jackets become his. It’s nice when the someone’s scent begins to remind you of home. Embarrassingly, he’s come to think of it like a hug when she’s not around. Perhaps she feels the same way, but Jon’s not going to bring it up. He’s not that maudlin.

“You need to stop me from online shopping,” she groans one day, dropping a pile of clothing into his lap that must have been from the newly-arrived and altogether giant box he found on the steps of their flat. Jon had raised an eyebrow as she guiltily hauled it to her room and got to work. “I swear, I don’t remember ordering half of this.”

“Far be it from me to get between a James and her phone,” he replies, picking through the pile of utterly un-Sasha-like clothing. It’s all floaty tops and tiny skirts, nothing like what she usually gravitates toward. She certainly has more...adventurous tastes, when she’s intoxicated.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m not looking at you at all,” Jon retorts, picking up the most offensive piece from the pile with his thumb and pointer finger: a muted brown, and yet somehow sparkly miniskirt. He raises a judgmental eyebrow. “Really?”

“I was not in my right state of mind, you know that.” She ran a hand over her face, refusing to look him in the eye. “Anyway, see if there’s anything in there you like. Otherwise, it’s all going back.”

Jon very much doubts there’s much in here for him - not a chunky knit in sight. The tops aren’t too bad, but a bit too sheer for his liking, and if he’s going to layer, he’d rather be comfortable than fashionable. He pushes the pile off his lap when something catches his eye. Buried beneath two very loud shirts is something black, with bits of lace. He pulls it out to find a simple black dress, high-necked with pearl buttons and slightly puffed sleeves.  It’s modest, but covered in a delicate lace pattern. His grip tightens incrementally. “You don’t like this?”

Sasha peeks her head around the corner. “S’bit short on me. You should try it on, though. It’s cute.”

Jon flushes. It’s something he might’ve worn in uni, when he and Georgie made a night of it and Jon had just enough liquid courage. Now, though, it doesn’t fit with his professional persona and strict uniform of blazers, vests, and button ups. He needed to be taken seriously, and he didn’t feel he could do that if he was...experimenting, as his grandmother would phrase it. His hair he still wears long, the only vestige of that life he kept. “Oh,” he responds automatically, “I couldn’t.”

Sasha blinks. “I think you’d look really nice. Put your hair up, maybe add some earrings.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not.” She comes behind his perch on the sofa, gathering his hair up in her hand and pulling it from his face. “Leave a few pieces out, y’know, artfully messy.” She takes the dress and pulls it up against his body. “What do you think?”

“Um, maybe,” he barely manages to whisper. It feels nice, right. He can see it in his mind’s eye - it looks very him. Not feminine or masculine, just pretty. Just Jon. “I’ll think about it.”

He thinks about it. The dress hangs in the back of his closet, untouched and passed over many a morning. He tried it on and Sasha had been right- of course she was, she’s good at that sort of thing when not inebriated. Maybe one day he’d wear it out - not to work, but to drinks or something.

Maybe.

It’s not until months down the line that he tugs it out, on one of those days where he feels like his body doesn’t make sense and names sound wrong in his ears. Drinks with Tim, the newest recruit to their department. Hard won drinks, if Jon might add; Tim was just starting to open up to them. He tugs the dress over his head and digs through a plate on his dresser for the long silver earrings Sasha gave him last Christmas. He studiously avoids the mirror on his way out the door, throwing his bag over his shoulder and standing in the doorway, as if waiting for Sasha’s reaction. 

This was a bad idea, he thinks as his palms start to sweat. You look ridiculous, you shouldn’t have- his thoughts are interrupted by a gentle hand tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. Sasha smiles at him.

“Oh, you’re perfect.” 

Tim thinks so too.

----------

“Oh man, I’ve got to get rid of that.”

Tim motions to the blazer in Sasha’s hand. “Hasn’t fit me since uni. Y’know, when I got these guns.” Sasha rolls her eyes as he makes an exaggerated motion with his arms. They’ve been cleaning out Tim’s apartment for the past few hours, she and Tim in the bedroom while Jon sorted through his books in the living room. She suspects he’s doing more reading than sorting.

“Why’d you keep it, then?” She holds the hanger up, smoothing the fabric out with her hand. It’s heavy, quality fabric. A shame to get rid of it.

“Dunno, just one of those things,” he shrugs, throwing another pair of joggers onto the bed. “It was expensive, but I only ever wore it to interviews for internships and the like. You can toss it in the donate pile.”

She hums idly, making no motion to get rid of it. She’s rather fond of blazers, has quite a few in her collection. They’re nice when she wants to be a bit more dressy and professional. A woman’s outfit can occasionally be her armor, particularly in academia, and nothing says ‘take me seriously’ like a nicely fitted jacket and skirt. Never mind how it makes her feel. But this is very much a men’s blazer, barely a nip at the waist and with nothing to outline the curve of her body. And yet.

She shoves it in her bag. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll throw it out.

_______

When Jon and Tim are tucked in bed, she tries it on.

She doesn’t know why she’s being so secretive about this. It’s not like Jon and Tim will care, it’s just clothes. Lord knows she’s encouraged Jon to wear whatever he wants, and there’s no surefire way to get Tim blushing like wearing one of his pullovers. But there’s something that feels a bit transgressive about it. She was generally drawn to more feminine looks, growing up as a tall girl there’s an inherent (perhaps taught) idea that making herself look smaller and delicate would make her more appealing. Appealing for what? She always wanted to ask. But she knows the answer now. It’s taken near a decade to get the slouch out of her posture and to get comfortable wearing heels. 

It seems silly to feel so cowed by a blazer. She’s thirty years old, unmarried and living with two partners. She stopped playing by the rules a long time ago. Her hands shouldn’t be shaking. For Christ’s sake, just put it on.

She slips her arms into the sleeves, pausing to inhale the leftover scent of Tim, his laundry detergent and the after shave he occasionally wears. Her entire body warms, like stepping into a bath. She slips the rest of it on, pausing to adjust the shirt underneath. When she looks in the mirror, she can’t help the grin that fills her face. She looks good. Her broad shoulders fit the line of the jacket perfectly, her curves hidden and barely even suggested by the cut. It is decidedly not feminine. 

She likes it.

It takes her twenty minutes to drag herself from the bathroom and back into bed. She lies awake through Tim’s light snores and Jon’s murmuring, filled with a strange, nervous excitement. It’s just a blazer, she thinks to herself somewhat giddily. It’s just clothes. But when she throws it on that Monday morning and steps into the kitchen, she starts to think it might be more than that. She walks a little taller, feels a bit more at home in her skin. Tim choking on his orange juice when he sees her is just an added bonus.

“Glad you kept it,” he stutters out, once he manages to stop gaping.

She’s glad too.

______

Martin’s sitting on Jon’s bed, watching as he runs a brush through his hair.

Jon’s hair is lovely, long and shiny. His own he keeps rather short, though the curls are getting a bit unruly these days. When he was a child, his mother insisted he keep it long, just like she insisted on a great many other things. But he shed all of that, got as far away from it as possible. And yet, eyeing the silvery tray on Jon’s dresser, he has to admit he’s curious. 

It’s full of delicate, pretty accessories- hair clips and necklaces and earrings. Jon’s like a magpie, collecting shiny things; though this collection is mostly gifts from the three of them. It’s a little dance they like to do- Jon sees something in a store, stares a little too long, insists he doesn’t need it, and eventually it ends up in their flat. 

Their flat. He’s still getting used to it. He’s never felt at home anywhere, but he’s starting to think he has one now. Listening to Jon hum as he cooks, Tim reading aloud from his recent article deep-dive, Sasha butting in with a comment - these are all good things. The background noise to his days that used to be filled with silence. 

And he’s never been around people so at home with themselves. Martin is so used to putting an effort into how he presents himself in the world, he’s never enjoyed being misconstrued. A strange, delicate balance of pride in who he is at war with a desperate need to be understood and accepted. Palatable. Easier to put yourself in a box with clear labels than to deal with the confusion and the questions. Any passing thought or fleeting impulse that goes outside the lines is dismissed.

But nothing about his situation now is easily labeled, to be honest. It’s hard enough explaining his relationship status to others, though Sasha has a little spiel ready to rattle off at a moment’s notice. They’re all so comfortable with each other, with themselves. It makes him both a bit braver and a bit more afraid.

While Jon scurries off to flick through his closet, Martin gets up, walking over to the collection and picking up the small moth broach he’d gotten him on one of their first dates, before Tim started to come along. The memory brings a smile to his face.

“Oh, it’s lovely, Martin.” Jon had immediately pinned it to his jacket, before reaching down to grab a bag at his feet. “And ah, actually- I got something for you too?”

A little Highland cow plushie. So he had been listening to his rant on Scotland the other day. It still sits in place of pride on his desk. 

“Do you want to try one?” Martin jumps at the sound of Jon’s voice, dropping the pin unceremoniously back into the pile as if he’d been burnt. He turns around, prepared to voice a thousand excuses, a knee-jerk reaction. 

“No, it’s-”

But Jon’s already sorting through the pile with clever fingers, hand lingering over a thin barrette with a tiny, gold flower. Pretty, simple. Martin’s hand itches to reach out but he draws it into a tight fist. Admiring is one thing, but actually wearing it-

“C’mere.” He thinks he should refuse but instead he leans down, lets Jon’s fingers wind their way through his hair and feels a settled weight against his head.

“There.” Jon smiles. “That’ll do quite nicely.”

He looks in the mirror. Oh.

It’s barely even noticeable, just a small clip bringing the longest of his curls behind his ear. But Jon’s right. It looks nice. It goes with his hair and it doesn’t feel feminine or wrong, just a comfortable weight against his head reminding him he belongs, he’s loved. And that Martin’s still himself, even if he steps outside of the box every now and then. 

“You don’t have to keep it in if you-”

“No. I like it.” He straightens his spine, tilts his head. Smiles. Jon smiles back.

Yeah. He likes it.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31803076

[yostresswritinggirl]

Tales of The Ghost Writer

“You met Xingqiu at Wanwen Bookhouse when delivering a batch of your newly-published book. But as a ghost writer, no one knew it was you that authored such books. Safe to say it was cute watching the noble bookworm fanboy about you in front of you.”

Pairings -> Xingqiu x Author!Reader

Word Count -> 3518

Theme -> Long Fic, Fluff

Series -> #Bonafide specials (100 followers event)

Warnings -> Xingqiu's name might be mispelled at times, also he rambles a lot

Entry Log # 645:

I’ve once again delivered the new batch of books to Wanwen Bookhouse today at 4PM, 30 new books in collection to be sold. That would add up to a total of 420 published books for Legend of the Lone Sword. Despite its old circulation, collectors and avid bookworms still seek out the volumes. In a spur of the moment thought, the 4th volume was finally rereleased for more readers to get a chance to read them. While on my rounds, I’ve met a particularly peculiar fan.

“4th volume?” You nod as you set down the stack of books on the counter where Jifang stood behind with a welcoming smile. “Thank you, everyone has been asking about it for a while now. I don’t understand how people keep missing out on the last volume like so.” There was an exchange of giggles between you continued your idle chatter, busying yourself with recounting the stack to make sure the order placed was exact. Yep, 30.

You picked one up from the top pile as Jifang enters the bookhouse to gather the payment. It wasn't that much of a feat to carry a pile of 30 books when it's only this thick, you thought as you opened the book in the middle and... buried your nose in it, literally. Archons, the scent of freshly printed books had always been such a stress reliever of a kind. The imprints were still fresh as you run your thumb over the pristine white page of page 75, the gravings of the letter bumping it in such an intricate and endearing manner. You suppose it should be prime time you get a copy of your own-

"Ah, the glorious scent fresh books offer are quite irresistible to everyone," your head whipped to the side in a hurry at the embarrassing display. Yet your new company only offered a light-hearted laugh, floaty and flowing swiftly past his lips. You find it enjoyable to listen to. "Fret not, I don't judge such honest guilty pleasure."

His smile was soft and respectful as you return it, watching his hand (wrists largely ruffled) pick up the next book on the pile, his interest shining the more he recognizes the the piece of literature. Such expensive clothing and poise, you thought as you continued to inspect. "I knew Wanwen had a schedule of new releases today, but I was not informed it would be the 4th volume of the Legend of the Lone Sword!"

"A fan?" You mused as you placed back the copy you took, leaning against the counter as you watched him quickly scan the lines of the book. He was intensely staring at every word with such a calculating gaze, that sometimes break when he reads how the character would sometimes reach an impasse, or when a new discovery reaches its peak. His ardent gaze was enough of an answer. When he took a break from reading to pass you his attention, you hadn't realize how red your cheeks had been out of embarrassment. "I've always wanted to get my hands on my own copy of the 4th, yet everytime all bookhouses in Liyue keep running out of stock. Is delivery normally this scarce?" He'd gestured at the not so looming pile.

You nod in response with a forgoing giggle. "Publishing could be running into some... shortness of funds?" Subtle, yet he hums in disappointment at the thought. His little pout, adorable, as he buries his face in the book again. I would gladly fund such glorious writing, you thought you heard past the leather back before the ornate doors past the counter finally opened again.

"Ah sorry it took so long, I couldn't find the exact pouch for the- hey! You again, you've read and been scolded dozens of times already," the woman angrily gestures to the notice board by the table, "Pay first, read later!"

You snorted, thankfully masked by the sudden cry of the caught culprit as he was smacked (hopefully gently) on the head by the owner, forcing him to put back the book to the pile. "Hnghh, but Lady Jifang! You didn't scold her, she was indulging herself with the book just the same," you breathed a fake gasp of astounded betrayal, before you three had laughed in chorus.

The oldest of your trio scoffed in amusement as she placed the bag of Mora unto your waiting hand. "What, her? Why would I scold her, she probably knows every word like the back of her ha-" her rambling was then cut off by a loud smack on her bottom, a book expertly finding its way back to your hand with a perfectly cut smile. Her yelp was not unnoticed by the male as he laughs at the display.

"Let him be, he's really been patiently waiting for the release!" Jifang scoffs at the word patiently as you came to the defense of blunette. You were never really aware of the norm in Wanwen, as you usually come by at a time where you would have been alone. This was a first.

"Quite so! Just the start of the volume had me hooked, setting for the peak of the story climax! The synopsis itself already hinted of another inclusion of a new element into the story I had not expected from this style of a book, surely such a writer would not tread such parallel territory without being an expert teller-" Jifang watched in amusement as her gaze lands on you at the start of the bookworm's rambling, watching the redness touch the tip of your ear with an abashed smile shyly gracing your lips. Behind it she can see the mirth and amusement, something she outwardly shows with her own expression.

"Wow," was the Liyuean woman's only response once the speaker has finished his lengthy speech. His dorkiness stands with pride at his examination.

You cleared your throat before you could mutter your initial words, finally realizing the time. "That was... quite marvelous of an analysis. A-Anywaysss, thank you for your partnership, I hope the books are all sold by tomorrow!"

And with that you swiftly made your exit, wanting to find a place to scream the embarrassment out. Or maybe squeal, just to be subtle.

Entry Log # 15:

As a distant relative to the Guhua clan, the (L/N) clan was not exactly known to be tied closely to the prestigious clan known for their expert martial. However, despite the impure connection, they carry with them still the honor of learning the arts to a meticulous detail.

Your family was one of the living practitioners of the Guhua Arts, twice removed, yet your spotlight was not that obvious as the name would carry. Your father wish to carry a new kind of prestige without relying on the powerful namesake and he had been adamant since birth to grind every teaching and form of the art into his immediate family.

"Misogyny nor feminism will not save you from battle, only your own strength." Something along those lines, was what he said.

Your eldest brother was his main point of reference when scolding you on not taking your lessons properly. A slacker he is, now he lacks not only a means of security but also financial stability, that's what you end up to if you don't treasure the arts of our family. You have no idea how martial arts brings you monetary security, but you can't really state to your own father that his logic was a bit skewed.

Daily during morning and the first touch of evening, you had resigned yourself into training under your father's supervision. As the eldest daughter of the house, you carry with you still a responsibility to be strong. No fraility was accepted, and your mother always argues about your father's ever so masculine lifestyle being imposed on you, a lady that should be taught other customs for means of living.

Yet after every session, at the end of the day under the caress of the lamp by your study table, your hands move with precision and calmness he would have scoffed at in the dojo. The beauty of words and their power to create new worlds effortlessly had drawn you in too easily, ever since you were young you had a knack for the books your mother reads to herself or to you.

Entry Log # 651:

The next time you'd met the Wanwen Bookworm (nickname you gave) was a rare moment when he'd finally looked at you more than the book in his hand. It seemed your little interaction from the bookhouse was attention-grabbing enough to make him seek out your person with a bunch of questions and wonder.

You gulped, patting down your blue skirt before accompanying him. The way he rambles was too dangerous, it was drawing something within you to also do the same, and you feared you may let out something you shouldn't. But a fellow 'reader' is good company, and with the little interactions you had with the same age group with the same interest makes this moment something you can't pass.

"Carrier to the Yae Publishing House?" You nodded calculatedly, after confirming you've said just the right information. "Quite intriguing, especially with such young age to be working in line with the greatest press house in Teyvat." Ohhh, he's surely smart despite the first impression of goofiness.

You giggled as politely as you can remember you should upon the scarce teachings of your mother. "I've always liked literature so I couldn't uhm let the opportunity pass, even if it's insignificant like that." Good, good, piling up the lies. You're grateful you haven't made some contract of friendship and happen upon the wrath of your nation's God. Or Qixing.

"Surely, you must have been in the presence of some of the wordsmiths during your rendezvous! So tell me," there was a dangerous glint in his eyes and you knew exactly what he's gonna ask, "Have you met the legendary Bob Ong?"

Oh goodness, you felt him caress and pat your back as you tried your best to breathe after the sudden choking on nothing, he was so spot on that you were horrified even if you had an inkling of what he was gonna inquire. "I uhm I don't really know what I'm allowed to say." In the inside you were goddamn screaming.

"You don't have to tell me anything about him, really! It's his mystery that makes his character just the most intriguing." You gulped down hard, this time without choking out of nothing. "I don't really know much about who he is since he's, you know, unknown? No clues whatsoever, he could be anywhere right now, maybe you've talked to him already or no. Yeah?"

He held a convincing hum before taking in the cryptic answer, content, for now you assume. "Not many avid readers of the book can place a name to the unnamed author, but how blind they were to see the cryptic signature at the back of the cover. Truly a wonderous act." Xingqiu, you finally learned his name, had took you out to lunch for the trouble and enjoyment. It wasn't really necessary, but you figured it was probably to keep you with him longer to converse about the books more.

A lot of his... analysis actually coincide with the messages that you lodged between the lines. He understands your way of narration more than you do at times, and you were left wondering just how much he had read of the fourth volume despite only having it for a few days then. When evening once again struck, you had bid each other farewell in the promise of another time to hang.

"It's a literature of love and freedom- disguised as a martial arts novel." Was his parting analysis, and you were left to wonder, was that really what you had projected into your works?

Entry Log # 32:

In your young and hopeful mind, you'd sent your first ever manuscript to Yae Publishing House. It wasn't your first work but it was the one you worked hard on the most, with weeks of furbishing and reworks. Your mother, although not directly informed of your whole plan, had provided you with great feedback and generous suggestions. And soon you created the first manuscript of 'String of Pearls'.

With a generous note and what you hoped is enough mora to at least publish a book, your package was sent to Inazuma.

You waited for days, of which turned to weeks, and then to months. You thought by the end of it all, you had been swindled but as young as you still hoped for the best of its outcome.

And then one day, as you were sweeping the outside of your gates in preparation for your father's return from some business in the harbor, a lone man of Inazuman style found its way to your humble abode. He calls himself Mr. Nine, and in his arms cradled two similar looking books, with a familiar envelope.

That was when you had been given the opportunity to write for the greatest Publishing House under the guise of a pseudonym. The great Nine was astounded by your ripeness paired with your prowess in writing. You hid behind Bob Ong, a protection from being belittled as a young child and a woman, to prevent being traced by your father if ever.

Yet you remained as subtle still. Even if your name was not written on the covers themselves, within your heart you were still the writers of those books. You've placed anagrams and mysterious puzzles revealing your name but it was part of the intrigue of the story that they had not thought much about it.

One day, you lost your book when you had gone out to eat. It was the second copy, as you carried the first one in your room, yet it still held a special place in your heart.

Xingqiu was a master novelist too, as you'd expect from someone so enthusiastic on the art of literature too. You'd long since become friends and found out soon enough his true identity. The heir to the Feiyun Commerce Guild, master practitioner of the Guhua Clan Arts, soon to be novelist. He was in every aspect the better half between you two.

One day in his daily reading breaks where he would happen upon you, he had found his eyes wafting over your notebook that you always carry. It was designed to look like a hard bound book specially tailored to your tastes, but it was nothing but mere keepers of your notes and musings.

Your newest page had in it a brand new draft for a brand new story you wanted to flesh out before the success of Legend of the Lone Sword diminishes. Mr. Nine still praised you for the success of your first major publishing and had assured you that there's no need to immediately compensate with another work so early, but your mind was already so eager to work. Your friend had never seen you so- flamed and passionate as the paper caves to the intense pressure your pencil places on it.

So he leans on your shoulder slightly (glad you were still distracted) as he quietly reads the words that articulates on the paper. The more Xingqiu reads, the more he craves, just the same vigor he felt everytime he had read his favorite works when each chapter invigorates him to continue to the end.

"Such a great outline," the blunette breathes out as he leans his cheek at the crown of your head. You let out a cute squeak when you'd finally come to, and turned your head to face him- "I didn't know you were into romance, my liege. Tell me, just where do you get such inspirations?" Your nose softly collided against the smoothness of his cheek, your lips ghosting over the line that is his jaw.

You scrambled backwards to direction opposite of his, yet with his body weight leaning on you, his center of balance quickly shifted on your weight like a net being pulled against the sides of a boat. You both toppled over.

"My, my, I didn't expect such abrupt resistance from you," Xingqiu's arms caged you as it holds him up against the grassland on either side of you. There was a certain mischievous glint in the ocean that is his eyes, which only meant one thing. "No need to be shy," you closed your eyes shut as his face leans in closer to yours, fanning over the frame of your face as he lets out a warm yet teasing exhale, "I'm sure we've gone past our personal bubbles in this relationship." You felt his chest against yours and braced for the inevitable-

as he finally licked your nose(?).

What.

"X-XINGQIUUUUU!" And then a cry of pain after a particularly harmful blow.

Entry Log # 659:

Xingqiu had always been a man of great words despite his chicken scratch of a penmanship. Vivid tales of his manuscript that I'm sure the Publishing House would take great value for, his years of memorizing numerous works in his arsenal. He told me that if I were to one day publish the manuscript, he wants to get the first copy and the first to get it signed. However Xingqiu has one glaring weakness when it comes to the art of words. When I asked him what would be a good title for the manuscript I made, he simply said, "Tales of the Writer!" And he sent a goofy smile. I thought he was joking, and I asked again, this time of what his work would be named. He replied:

"Why, Legend of Sword, of course!" He really sucks at titles.

Entry Log # 660:

Upon returning home with my new work ready to be shipped off for mass publishing, I've finally confronted my father. I had with me the final volume of my first work and offered it to him as first a gift of reconciliation, and my father took it with a mirthful glint in his eyes. He said he has been looking for the last volume of the series he'd been wanting to complete. I... I didn't know father was a fan.

The climax of my entire double-life ended so peacefully and tragically meh. I was expecting a martial arts fight of honor that will go down in history, but instead I ended up signing my own book as my father gushed about how nicely I illustrated the martial arts teaching we had during our sessions. I did not sleep well that night.

October 9th was a day celebrated by others more than the young master Xingqiu. The pavilion was mixed in with people from different walks of life and of faces he doesn't necessarily recognize. He lingers by the open window that shows the grandeur balcony, beckoning him outside. Today was a scheduled new release for Wanwen Bookhouse, and he had heard several chatters from the citizens that a new series would be published hailing from Yae Publishing House once again.

And the virtuoso of literature cannot attend such important matter himself because of his own birthday. How irking, you weren't even there to help appease his grumbling, you should have been here by now upon his invitation.

Suddenly the master of invitations bellowed out a familiar name, as his job to announce the entrance of the invited guests to the banquet. When he looks up, you were already walking down the grand staircase in your creme and blue Hanfu garb, accompanied by a tall man of a different wear—

"(Y/N), M-Mr. Nine-!" He bowed politely to the man as you curtsied at his presence. You looked absolutely dashing yet the man towered your form easily. "It's my honor to finally meet you, sire."

"Happy birthday, Xingqiu, I've heard many great things about you," the blunette opened his hands to receive the book gifted by the man. It had a familiar cover and title to it, Legend of Sword, "Great things, in fact, that there would too be great things to discuss later on." The Inazuman graced him a smile and he almost teared up at the implications, if not for when the author suddenly nudged you forward from your demure state.

Tales of the Ghost Writer

"X-Xingqiu, happy birthday! This is uhm, I've always wanted to- I wanted to give you this myself, I know you'd miss the first batch of releases," an unfamiliar book sits on his palm now. A plume and sword adorning its cover but no title, he shifts his hand to open it to the first page, "You said you wanted its first copy be signed, and I thought it appropriate to be given now at such a special occasion."

There in fresh print and ink he'd finally been revealed the mysteries he had long been searching for.

Against the translucent paper it was written and signed,

Tales of The Ghost Writer

Bob Ong, (Y/N)

@creation-magician @your-local-venti-simp @boxofteenageideas @indigodreamtime47

[laurenairay]

Found You - J. Oleksiak

Summary: You thought you’d finally found the perfect guy – were you right?

Word count: 12k

Warnings: super cute fluff, some angst

A/N: So the wonderful @whatishockey inspired me to write a full story of this Big Rig blurb I wrote in my Valentine’s Day list. Without her encouragement and sweet words this wouldn’t be in existence - so thank you! This one is for you 💖 The scenes in the blurb are referenced but not repeated in this fic, so do feel free to read the blurb too!

Also tagging: @danglesnipecelly @texanstarslove @itsbadgerbadgermushroom​ @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @princessphilly @denis-scorianov @broadstbroskis @thebookofmags​ @shelbsatans​ @antoineroussel​​

*

It was only meant to be one night. One night in a bar. One night of fun and dancing. One night of passion. A one night stand.

You’d been out on a girl’s night, cocktails in a local bar, when you’d spotted him across the room. Not just because of how tall and broad he was, head and shoulders above everyone else, but…because of his smile.

That big confident beautiful smile made your breath hitch in your throat, and the moment that he locked eyes on you and turned the full force of that smile in your direction, you knew you were done for. That smile stayed on his face as he walked over to you, slow smooth and confident, because he knew exactly what effect he was having.

What had surprised you was that it wasn’t just quick conversation and back to his. It wasn’t just a drink each and then leaving. He danced with you, had several drinks with you, talked with you for hours. It didn’t feel like a usual hook-up from a bar – it felt different. He made you feel special.

You didn’t know until the next morning that he didn’t usually ask a one night stand to stay over. You didn’t know until the next morning that he’d never made a hook-up breakfast before. You didn’t know until the next morning that he thought meeting you was special too.

That’s when everything changed. Instead of the one night you had meant it to be, Jamie had asked for your number, asked you out on a date the very next night. One date turned into two, into three, until it was a month in. A month of incredible sex and amazing dates and a wonderful guy. You knew it was happening so fast, but you were already falling for him. How could you not? You spent every spare moment thinking about him, about seeing him again, even if it was nothing official yet.

Never had anyone treated you like this before. So special, so important. Never had anyone put such a smile on your face, got your stomach filling with butterflies, made you feel so giddy. This guy was different – Jamie was someone worth pursuing something real with.

You could only hope he felt the same way.

*

Jamie couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he ended his Valentine’s Day phone call. Going on a roadtrip two days before Valentine’s Day had really thrown off his original plans. Jamie had initially thought of taking you out on a romantic candlelit dinner, showering you with gifts and taking his time bringing you pleasure over and over again back home, but thanks to hockey he wasn’t able to, as much as it frustrated him. Pavs had seen his frustration easily, had suggested surprising you with something to remind you that he was still thinking of you, even when he wasn’t there – and Jamie had taken him up on that with the giant bouquet delivered to your office as well as the follow-up phone call tonight.

He definitely hadn’t planned on defining his relationship with you over the phone, but the fact that you agreed to be his officially? Even if you wanted to hear it in person too? Mindblowing. Like there was any way he was going to change his mind about this – he hadn’t lied at all when he talked to you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, to the point where a lot of the guys on the team were teasing him, but he didn’t care.

This feeling, this hopeful wonderful feeling that you gave him whenever you smiled his way – it was everything. That someone like you would even give him the time of day when he could never guarantee being there by your side (ie. Valentine’s Day absence) made him feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Call it sappy, call it head over heels, call it whatever, he didn’t care. Being with you made all of it worth it.

He couldn’t wait to ask you in person, to take you out to dinner and call you his girlfriend. Just the thought of it put a stupid smile on his face.

And the stupid smile was still there when he left his room a little later to meet the team for dinner.

“What’s got you grinning like an idiot?”

Well that was fast. Jamie snapped out of his thoughts, rolling his eyes at Tyler’s words, Dickie, Bish and Pavs all behind him.

“Nothing,” Jamie shrugged, although he knew that the smile on his face hadn’t dimmed at all, and wasn’t exactly helping his case.

“Uh huh,” Bish snorted, making Jamie blush slightly.

“Anything to do with…hmm, the woman you’ve been seeing for a month now?” Pavs teased.

Damn it.

“Yeah, alright, you win. I was just on the phone with her,” Jamie admitted.

“You snuck in phone sex before dinner?” Dickie asked, surprised.

Jamie just punched him in the arm, rolling his eyes as the others laughed.

“No, I finally asked her to be my girl,” Jamie retorted.

Oh, wait, there was the smile again. Oh well.

“Officially?” Pavs asked, a big smile on his face too.

“Yeah, man, officially,” Jamie nodded, grinning.

Even saying those words felt amazing. Finally. Finally.

“About time,” Dickie snickered.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Jamie mused.

“You know his moon eyes are only going to get worse now though,” Tyler teased, “it’s bad enough with that stupid smile on his face,”

“Oh man, yeah, he was already enough of a big soft sap before,” Bish nodded, smirking slightly.

“I am right here you know,” Jamie said, rolling his eyes, although his smile still hadn’t lessened.

How could his smile change? This was the happiest he’d been in a long time.

“Well I think it’s great that you asked her,” Pavs mused, nudging Tyler with his shoulder.

Tyler nudged him back, sticking his tongue out.

“Thanks,” Jamie said warmly, “I know it’s only been a month but she’s special,”

“Booooo,”

Jamie laughed at the chorus around him, shaking his head. Okay so maybe he was a bit of a sap. But you were worth it, he knew that much. And he didn’t care what anyone else thought about it.

“What are we booing?”

Jamie looked over at the voice, smiling at the sight of his Captain.

“Big Rig caught feelings,” Dickie teased.

“Ugh, feelings,” Benn groaned, although Jamie could see the laughter in his eyes, “can’t have that,”

Jamie just rolled his eyes, laughing. “Can we talk about something other than my love life?”

“I vote yes!” Tyler said loudly, winking at Jamie, “where are you paying for dinner, Cap?”

Well at least that fuelled a discussion loud enough to get the attention off him. Now all Jamie needed to do was think of somewhere to take you out for dinner when he got home…

*

It was another week before Jamie arrived back from his roadtrip. The two of you still spoke on the phone every night, still messaged throughout the day, but knowing that he’d asked you to be his girlfriend? And that he’d agreed to ask you again in person, even just to sooth your own anxiety? Well that changed everything.

You were now Jamie Oleksiak’s girlfriend. Hah. Even just saying it to yourself put the silliest smile on your face. And you couldn’t wait to see him again.

Jamie had arranged for the two of you to meet at the restaurant, having made reservations, and then you’d agreed to go over to his after to stay the night. Apparently this was what he had intended to do for Valentine’s Day, to take you out like this – better late than never, right?

So all dressed up in your favourite little black dress and classy stilettos, you met Jamie outside a fancy-looking Italian restaurant. He was already waiting when your uber pulled up, and the smile he greeted you with made your heartbeat race. Wow, he really does look handsome all dressed up in a clean-cut suit.

“Hey, you look incredible,” he said in greeting.

He leant down to pressing his lips to yours before you could answer, kissing you slowly and sweetly in a way that made you clutch at the lapels of his suit jacket. Wow. Then he pulled away with a slightly dazed smile, and you knew you must look exactly the same.

“You look pretty damn good yourself,” was all you could say.

Jamie just grinned. “Shall we?” he asked, tilting his head towards the restaurant.

You just tucked your hand into the crook of his arm and nodded.

The two of you walked inside, your breath hitching in your throat at the sophisticated décor, trying not to feel out of place as Jamie gave his name for the reservation. He must’ve felt you freeze because he leant down to press a kiss to the top of your head, winking with a cheeky smile, making you giggle and smile back. Jamie wanted you here with him - that was all that mattered.

In no time at all, the two of you were lead to your table, Jamie ordering wine before the waiter left you in peace for a moment.

“So now that I’ve got you here in person…”

You felt your cheeks warming as he trailed off, that beautiful smile of his making your heart beat a little faster. Well he wasted no time at all.

“Yes, Jamie?” you said, trying to be as calm as possible.

“Obviously I haven’t changed my mind. I was never going to change my mind. Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

Your breath hitched in your throat, his blunt question affecting you just like it did when he’d asked you over the phone, and it was all you could do to nod. “Yeah of course I will, Jamie. My answer hasn’t changed either,”

Jamie laughed softly, almost as if he was relieved, making your chest fill with a little anxiety. Was he really that worried?

“You didn’t think I would change my mind, did you?” you asked, frowning slightly.

Jamie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “No, not really. I just…I really like you so I was just filled with so much hope?” he offered.

You couldn’t help but laugh, nudging your foot against his.

“I really like you too,” you said, a little shyly.

“Well that’s good. Because I bought you something,” he said, grinning.

What?

Jamie bit his bottom lip before reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulling out a box. A pale blue box branding that you actually recognised – Tiffany’s.

Why would he…

“Here, I saw these and thought of you,” Jamie said sweetly, “Happy belated Valentine’s Day,”

You inhaled sharply as he passed you the box, unable to do anything but stay silent as you opened it. Inside were the most beautiful square diamond earrings you had ever seen, perfectly cut and polished. Fuck, these must’ve been so much money. Why did he spend that on you? Why would he…why? You swallowed heavily, looking back up at him. Jamie seemed to freeze at the trepidation on your face.

“Is something wrong?” he asked nervously.

“I…why did you buy me something so expensive? I don’t need…”

You trailed off, glancing back down at the beautiful earrings before letting out a shaky breath.

“Jamie, why?” was all you could say.

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and he sighed. “I really did just see these earrings and think how nice they would look on you, and that maybe you would like them? It may sound stupid, but I like buying things for the people I care about. Like, I fought so hard to work my way onto the team, still fight for a permanent place every day, and the fact that things are finally becoming more settled for me means that I have money I never had before,”

You opened your mouth but quickly shut it with a click, the look on Jamie’s face telling you he wasn’t finished.

“It’s not about showing off my money though. Everything that I’ve worked for means that I can spend money on things I never would’ve been able to otherwise. I like being able to treat the most important people in my life. You’re one of those people now. And I know that you don’t need expensive things, which is why I wanted to buy these earrings in the first place. You would never ask – you would never assume you were entitled to them, as the girlfriend of an NHL player. You just like me for me, and I wanted to show you how much that means to me. It’s, like, my love language or whatever. Seggy made me do a quiz,”

You couldn’t help but laugh, hand rising up to cover your smile afterwards. Of all the things to break the emotional moment. “Seggy made you do a quiz?”

Jamie blushed furiously, but nodded. “The love language thing fits too, how I like to show affection. He said I needed to know how to treat you right, how to show you how I feel. So you would never doubt it, even when I’m not there,”

You bit your bottom lip, glancing down at the gift once more.

“I don’t doubt it,” you said softly.

When you looked back up at him, Jamie had the biggest smile on his face, making your stomach fill with butterflies.

“So do you like them?” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah, of course I do Jamie. Just…this love language thing, it doesn’t mean gifts like this all the time, y’know? It’s just as meaningful to me to bring me, like, eggs when I run out or a cute pair of socks or whatever,”

Because as much as Jamie wanted to spend his money on you, he really didn’t need to. Expensive jewellery, as incredibly beautiful as it is and as astounded as you were that he’d even seen them and thought of you, wasn’t something you could use all the time. It could be a balance, right?

“I’ll bear that in mind,” Jamie grinned, “That doesn’t mean I won’t buy something for you if I see it though,”

You bit your bottom lip to hide the smile that threatened to spread across your face. Such a ridiculous man. Shutting the box in your hand, you slipped it carefully into your handbag for safekeeping.

“I still can’t believe you bought me Tiffany’s earrings. I’ll save them for special occasions? They’re so beautiful, Jamie,” you said, voice filled with wonder, even to your ears.

“Like I said, I saw them and thought of you,” Jamie shrugged, although his smile showed you just how pleased he was with that.

You felt your cheeks warm up at the compliment, a smile spreading across your own lips. “Shall we look at the menus before the waiter comes back?” you asked, trying to get the attention of yourself.

Jamie laughed, just nodding. “That’s probably a good idea,”

You picked up the menu, hiding the smile on your face that had now turned stupid, even more so as Jamie nudged your foot with his again. If this was just him asking you to be his girlfriend? Well, you couldn’t wait to see where your relationship went next.

*

You thought the little things Jamie did would stop now that you were official, now that he wasn’t trying to woo you anymore.

But if anything, his romantic nature only increased.

Even in only the space of a few days, the few days he had off with light training before his next home game, he delivered another bouquet of flowers to your workplace (making you the envy of your bank of desks) as well as meeting you for lunch every day. You knew it couldn’t last, couldn’t keep up like this (even just because of the fact that he would go on a roadtrip again soon enough), so you were soaking it all in while you could.

There was nothing wrong with enjoying the ‘honeymoon period’ of your relationship, right?

And it wasn’t just flowers and lunches – it was the little things too. Officially being his girlfriend seemed to take a door off its hinges in terms of affection from Jamie. He would give you a gentle kiss on the forehead in passing. He would kiss you on the cheek when you were sitting in his arms watching tv. He gave your hand a little squeeze whenever your hands were clasped, fingers linked while you were walking down the street.

It was all of these little romantic affectionate things that made your heart beat a little faster, your stomach fill with butterflies, your cheeks ache with a smile. He was so so sweet – surely this would last?

You could only hope.

*

Tonight was a big night. Well, perhaps not for some, but for you? Huge.

Tonight you were going to a game for the first time as Jamie’s girlfriend. You were going to be sitting with the other spouses and partners. While you were excited, of course, you were also so nervous. Who wouldn’t be? This was a big step. This was public. You were going to be sitting with Jamie’s surname on your jersey, identifying you as his. And that was a lot.

But he was so excited to see you at a game, to see him play when you were official, and there was no way you could say no. This was just nerves, that’s all. You could get over a few nerves for him, right?

So after putting on a cute pair of boots with your comfiest jeans and a warm long-sleeved top, you slipped on the Oleksiak jersey Jamie had given you, biting your bottom lip when you saw his name across your back. When you saw how much you liked it.

Yeah, maybe you could get used to this.

Hair loosely curled and make-up applied to perfection, you walked into the arena with the pass that Jamie gave you, smiling nervously as you made your way to your seat. The sheer size of the arena never failed to amaze you – the vast white spread of the ice vs the roar of the crowd was always a little overwhelming, which didn’t help your nerves. But you tried to focus on that rush of excitement for gametime, the underlying buzz you could already feel from the fans – that’s what kept your feet moving forward step by step. It wasn’t long before you spotted the names Bishop, Cogliano, Pavelski…

“Hey, you made it! Tyler said you were coming to support Riggy today,”

Tyler? Oh Seguin, of course, duh.

“Yeah Jamie gave Tyler my number, he was pretty enthusiastic about welcoming me to the team,” you said, smiling.

The beautiful blonde rolled her eyes fondly. “Yeah that sounds like Tyler,”

You just giggled, earning another smile.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to everybody before warm-ups start,” she said, “I have no doubt that Riggy will take up all your attention as soon as he gets on the ice,”

Your cheeks flared with heat as she winked…but her teasing set you at ease. She was welcoming you like you already belonged, like you were already seamlessly part of the group – was that Jamie’s doing? Did he ask them to be nice to you? No…even if he did, that didn’t mean she had to be genuine about it. Deep breaths, you could do this.

“Come on!” she grinned, beckoning you forward.

You grinned back at her, letting her lead you towards the other women. There were a lot of faces, a lot of beautiful glamorous faces to put names to, but by the time you’d been introduced to everyone and guided into a seat, warm-ups started. Without even meaning to, you immediately started searching for Jamie’s familiar body, knowing you’d at least be able to identify him that way, head and shoulders above everyone else as always.

“Aww look at Riggy searching for you,”

You bit your lip to hide your smile at Andrea Bishop’s words, just waving as Jamie finally spotted you. When he waved back, his whole face lighting up, the other spouses and partners aww’d and cooed, making you laugh. You didn’t hesitate to blow Jamie a kiss, which he pretended to catch and press into his heart, making you laugh again at the cheesiness of the action. Jamie just winked at you before skating off to make some passes, your nerves finally settling.

“Oh wow, Tyler was right, you two really are sugary sweet,”

Oops, guilty.

“Yeah he is so head over heels, it’s so cute. There’s no way Riggy isn’t going to be showing off, playing like a beast tonight,”

You just laughed, shrugging.

“I can’t wait,” you grinned.

A chorus of cheers sounded from the women around you, making your stomach fill with butterflies. Somehow, with Jamie’s name across your shoulders and the smiles of the women around you, you felt like you belonged. Was it really that easy?

*

Weeks came and went. Games were won and lost. Jamie stayed the ever-sweet gentleman. You slowly relaxed into your new relationship. It felt like you were floating on a cloud, living in a dream…and if was a dream, you sure as hell didn’t want to wake up.

Every day he found a way to make you smile, to laugh, to count your lucky stars, and even your family was getting excited about this relationship. Jamie was…everything. He made it clear that he only wanted the best for you, even to the point of making your Instagram account private due to some unsavoury comments from ‘fans’. And it didn’t even matter whether you were in his fancy apartment or your not-so-fancy apartment – he made every moment one that you treasured.

It sounds sappy, it sounds dumb, it sounds too good to be true, you knew that. But you didn’t care. This was the happiest you’d ever been, and if it was too good to last like this then you were going to embrace and enjoy every single minute of it.

Tonight you were out at a bar with Jamie and his friends, all dolled up for Joel Kiviranta’s birthday, and you just knew that tonight was going to be one to remember.

“Happy birthday Kivi!!”

The birthday boy grinned at the loud cheers, accepting rough pats on the back and hair ruffles as he made his way to the large booth that the Captain had organised, the other Finns walking behind him. The bar was huge – dark lights but classy tables and booths – and while it was busy it wasn’t heaving with people. The music was just loud enough and the booths were spread out enough that you had enough privacy from the next group of people. It was the perfect place to celebrate Jamie’s friend’s birthday. You just grinned from where you were sitting on Jamie’s lap, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, especially so publicly. All of this still felt so new, even after nearly 3 months in – but being surrounded by this much love, this huge family feeling…well, it was quickly becoming addictive. Who wouldn’t want to be in the middle of all of this?

“Captain buys the first round!”

The man in question rolled his eyes with a grin at Tyler’s loud declaration, dragging Bish up to the bar to help him too.

“Ready to let loose tonight?” Jamie murmured in your ear.

“Sounds like fun to me,” you grinned, turning your body to face him slightly.

Jamie grinned back, pecking your lips with a gentle kiss, before continuing his conversation with Dickie on his left, making you laugh and turn to Tyler on your right.

“Here’s to a good night!” Tyler smirked.

A good night indeed.

One drink turned to two, which turned to five, which turned to you needing to go to the bathroom pretty badly. You were still in the group booth, but rather than sitting on Jamie’s lap you were sitting next to him, some space having been made after some of the team went off to dance.

“Hey, let me past?” you said to Jamie, where he was blocking the exit of the booth.

“Where are you going?” he frowned.

You rolled your eyes fondly. “To the bathroom, and no you can’t come with,”

Jamie blushed fiercely but quickly stood up to let you out, making you laugh. As he sat back down, you leant down to press a slow sweet kiss to his lips, unable to stop yourself from smiling as Jamie’s hands clutched at your hips. He groaned at the whistles and jeers that sounded around you, making you laugh again, but you pecked one last kiss to his lips before standing up properly.

“Don’t miss me too much,” you teased, stepping away from him

“Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave!” he called back, earning loud laughter from the group.

You laughed loudly too, shaking your head, blowing him a kiss before you navigated your way across the bar to the bathrooms in the back. Thankfully it was empty, leaving you to do your business in peace. But just as you were pulling your underwear back up, the door crashed open, and two girls entered. From what you could hear, with their giggling and stumbling, they were well past drunk, so you sighed and sat down on the closed toilet seat, preferring to wait until they were gone to leave and wash your hands. Zero drama, please and thank you.

You tuned out as they started talking, Girl 1’s nasally voice loud and abrasive with Girl 2’s giggle already irritating…until you heard them start talking about the Stars. Then you couldn’t stop yourself from listening.

“…yeah it’s one of their birthdays. One of the Finns I think? I don’t know. Or care,” Girl 1 said.

Lovely. A big fan then.

“I don’t know, I reckon he wouldn’t mind a birthday treat,” Girl 2 laughed. You could only imagine the grin on her face, given the giggles from Girl 1.

“It’s such a shame that Big Rig looks out of commission though,” Girl 2 sighed.

Out of commission? Charming.

Then the other girl snickered, and you had no doubt she was rolling her eyes.

“So what? It’s not like this one is going to be around very long. He never commits to a steady girl,” her nasal voice said indifferently.

What?

You swallowed heavily, a pit of nausea filling your stomach. She was just making things up, right?

“I don’t know, this one’s already been around longer than usual,” Girl 2 said.

Girl 1, nasty nasal, just giggled. “Then obviously she’ll be out on her ear soon. She’s nothing special anyway. Trust me, Big Rig’s never committed before, and that isn’t going to change now,”

Oh fuck. You clasped a shaky hand over your mouth to hide the whimper that threatened to spill out. She was lying right? She had to be lying. Fuck, fuck why were you still listening to this?

“Come on, let’s go get some guys to buy us shots,” Girl 1 said.

The two of them walked out of the bathroom, but their smug words rang around your head, and it was all you could do to take a shaky breath, tears filling your eyes. The nausea only got worse, bile rising in your throat, but you took shaky breath after shaky breath until it settled again.

He never commits.

She’ll be out soon.

She’s nothing special.

That isn’t going to change.

Oh fuck. You choked out a sob before shaking your head, running a shaky hand through your hair. No, no you couldn’t stay around here knowing that’s what people thought of you. You couldn’t bear the stares and the smirks and the snickering. Not tonight, not now, not in front of the whole team and their better halves. Jamie…he wouldn’t, right? He wouldn’t act like that?

But what if they were right?

No, no, they had to be wrong. But still…what if?

What the hell were you meant to think? Whatever it was, you couldn’t decide here, couldn’t decide now. You had to go, that was the only way to preserve at least a little bit of your dignity. Fuck.

Yeah, leaving, collecting your thoughts, taking a step back, that was the way to handle this. Not to make a scene – that really wasn’t your style. Jamie…

Fuck, Jamie.

Jamie would just have to deal with it tonight. You didn’t want to say something you’d regret, that was for sure. So with a deep breath and a brief close of your eyes for confidence, you left your bathroom stall, washing your hands and quickly reapplying your lipstick in the mirror as armour. Yes, leaving was the best idea. At least for tonight.

The nausea returned as you walked back over to the group booth, and you knew that Jamie wasn’t the only one that noticed the unease on your face.

“Hey, what’s up?” he frowned.

“I don’t feel that great, so I’m going to head home,” you said softly, just loud enough to be heard over the music.

With that, you grabbed your jacket and walked away, not waiting for an answer. You sure as hell didn’t want to give anyone a chance to convince you to stay. But within seconds Jamie was by your side, his own jacket in his hand.

“Hey, wait up,” he said, smiling as he rested a hand on your shoulder.

Damn it.

“Stay, Jamie,” you said shortly, stopping in your tracks and turning round to face him.

“What?” he said, confused, “if you don’t feel well then I want to make sure you get home okay,”

“I don’t want you to come with me,” you snapped.

The hurt that spread across Jamie’s face made you feel sick all over again, but for different reasons. Oh fuck. That…that wasn’t what you meant at all. Where did that come from? Damn it.

“Um, I…”

“Just go back to your friends, J,” you sighed, interrupting, “I want to be alone right now,”

“Okay,” he said quietly, shoulders slumped in defeat, “Let me know when you get home?”

You just nodded, offering a weak smile before you turned and walked out towards the exit. Pulling your phone out of your bag, you quickly ordered an uber, thankful there was a car only 4 minutes away. At least something was going right tonight.

“I saw you and Riggy, you know,”

You flinched at the sound of Tyler’s voice as he stepped up next to you but stayed silent, not wanting to get into it. Not with him. Tyler just sighed.

“Obviously I don’t know what happened or what was said, but seeing you look that angry, and then Riggy looking so upset, only for you to walk out looking just as upset? I couldn’t just let you leave like that without checking you’re okay,” Tyler said softly.

Maybe he should’ve just let it go. But you knew Tyler well enough to know that he wasn’t going to drop this, not easily.

“It’s nothing,” you murmured.

Tyler just hmm’d. You laughed weakly, running a hand through your hair. Of all the time for him to be particularly insightful.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you sighed.

Tyler smiled sadly at the defeat in your voice but nodded. At least he wasn’t going to push you for a proper answer. At least he was letting you leave with a little bit of dignity.

“Let me know when you get home safe? I’ll let you know when Riggy’s home safe too. He’s already downed a few shots so I don’t think he’s going to be in a good shape,” he said quietly.

It was all you could do to nod, wrapping your arms around yourself. Jamie was lucky to have such a good friend. With another sad smile, Tyler pulled you into a hug, not letting go until your uber pulled up to the curb. He gave your shoulder one last squeeze before stepping backwards, and you shut the door in silence, desperately trying not to break down just yet. The uber driver seemed to sense your mood, pulling away with nothing more than a gruff hello, and you just rested your head against the glass as you noticed Tyler still watching you.

You could only hope that he didn’t notice the tears trickling down your cheeks.

*

What a terrible night.

You still weren’t entirely sure if leaving had been the best idea…but you did know that the words those girls said still haunted you. Of course, you’d barely slept, their horrible comments swirling around in your brain, not made any better by the increasingly incoherent pleading texts that Jamie had sent you, as well as the confirmation from Tyler that he’d personally dropped Jamie off at his apartment because he was far too drunk to get home by himself.

You didn’t want to dwell on what had happened. But you also didn’t want to admit how much your insecurities played into their words. You couldn’t bear the thought of any of it being even remotely true – and you also couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Jamie look so hurt again.

So what the hell were you meant to do?

It was stupidly early when you dragged yourself out of bed, knowing full well that sleep wasn’t coming. You hadn’t bothered showering, hair a mess and eyes a little pandary where you’d only half-heartedly removed your make-up last night – coffee was the only thing you were focused on. Sweet sweet coffee, the only thing that was going to get to moving today.

But as you poured your first cup, the buzzer for your front door went, so you went to the intercom with a frown.

“Hello?” you asked hesitantly.

“Hey, it’s me. Can I come up?”

Jamie. Oh wow. What was he doing here at this time? You didn’t answer him, just bit your bottom lip as you pressed the buzzer to let him into the apartment building. There was no point in getting dressed or putting on make-up – he knew full well what you looked like at this time of day so he could deal with it. Well, that, and there was no time to do much anyway. All you did was scrub a little at the stubborn mascara, ensuring you looked a little less tragic and tear-streaked. By the time he was knocking on your front door, anxious butterflies had filled your stomach, but you let him in anyway, taking in his dishevelled appearance, wearing sweatpants and a tshirt that you knew he only wore when he was planning on lying around at home. So why was he wearing them out now?

“Thanks for letting me in,” Jamie murmured, closing the front door behind him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you frowned.

Jamie winced, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I wasn’t sure where we stood after last night,”

“Jamie…”

You trailed off, sighing, the nausea and frustration and desperation of last night flooding your body all over again. Jamie swallowed heavily, taking a step closer towards you, but you couldn’t produce any more words.

 “I didn’t want this to linger and fester, whatever it is. Whatever happened that set you off last night, whatever it was, I just…I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Jamie said sadly.

Any lingering anger or frustration you had fizzled away, and your shoulders slumped in defeat. Jamie frowned as your face crumpled, immediately stepping those final steps forward to pull you into his arms. That was all it took to make you start crying again, awful harrowing sobs into his chest, and Jamie cursed under his breath before holding you tighter, hand rubbing your back soothingly. It was like all the emotions that had hit you full force last night were resurging again now, full blast and agonising, and it was all you could do to bury your face into his tshirt, clutching at the material at the small of his back like an anchor.

You were lost, drowning in the hurt and misery you felt from those nasty words, and Jamie was the only thing keeping your head above water.

Eventually, somehow, your sobs softened down to sniffles, Jamie releasing his hold on you a little.

“Why don’t you take a shower, and then we can talk?” he said softly.

You just nodded miserably, bottom lip still trembling as Jamie gently guided you to the bathroom. You were exhausted – mentally and physically drained – and the only thing you really wanted to do was sleep. But Jamie was right, the two of you needed to talk. He turned on the shower for you, helping you out of your pyjamas, an oversized tshirt and short shorts, nothing sexual about his motions in the slightest. He just wanted to help, as he always did. Sweet gentle giant.

“I’ll be outside when you’re ready,” he murmured.

You mustered up a smile and nodded, letting him leave the bathroom before your smile dropped. You let the hot water pour down over your face and body, washing away the angst, the drama, the frustration, the sorrow. Things would get better, right? You’d get through this, right?

By the time you got out of the shower you felt a little less emotionally shaky, but still physically tired. It wasn’t like you could turn Jamie away now though. There was nothing else for it – you had to get back out there and face him. Luckily you’d left your dressing gown in the bathroom, so after drying yourself off and wrapping your hair in a towel, you threw on the dressing gown and headed into your bedroom…where Jamie was lounging on the bed, legs kicked up and back propped up by pillows.

“Don’t you look comfy,” you mused.

The smile he sent you in return, that beautiful big smile, made your stomach fizzle with butterflies.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, reaching a hand out towards you.

You instinctively took his offered hand in your own, smiling as he squeezed your fingers gently.

“Been better, been worse,” you shrugged, not wanting to lie.

Jamie’s smile dimmed to a frown. Here it goes…

“What happened last night? Everything was fine – or at least I thought it was?” he asked, confused.

Straight to it then.

“I don’t think you’re going to like it,” you hesitated.

Jamie’s squeezed your hand again, tugging to gently closer to him, until he could rest a hand on your waist.

“I just want to know what upset you so that I can make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future,” Jamie said earnestly, eyes wide and face serious.

Well damn. You sighed, taking a step backwards, earning a frown until you flipped your head upside down to quickly rough-dry your hair, making Jamie laugh softly. You flipped it back with a shrug and a small smile, dropping the damp towel to the floor – if you were going to bare your heart then you wanted to feel a little less ridiculous than with a towel wrapped on your head.

“It was nothing to do with you. Well, not directly? I was in the bathroom, about to exit the stall to wash my hands when these two girls came in. I stayed sitting in the stall because they sounded really drunk – loud and giggling and stumbling – and I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned the Stars. So I continued to stay in the stall, and that’s when they started talking about you,”

“About me?” Jamie asked, confused.

You bit your lip briefly but nodded.

“Yeah, about you. How you never commit to any girl, to any relationship. How I’ll be out the door soon. How I’m nothing special. How you’d never change just because you’re with me for the moment,”

Jamie’s jaw dropped and he opened his mouth…but you shook your head, needing to finish.

“Everything they said hit me in my insecurities, Jamie. They made me feel like shit and start doubting everything, and I just needed to leave because I didn’t want to face anyone. And before I said something to you that I would regret. Then I went ahead and hurt you anyway, which only made me feel worse,”

There it was.

“Baby, you’ve got to know that nothing they said is true,” Jamie said gruffly, eyes shining.

Right.

“So you’ve been in a committed relationship before?” you snapped back.

You knew he hadn’t. You already knew that. So why did he say it?

“Well, no, that part’s true,” Jamie winced.

“Is that why you send me flowers, buy me gifts, shower me with compliments? Is that what you do? What you’ve done with all those other girls?”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you regretted saying them – but it was too late. Jamie’s jaw dropped, hurt flashing across his face just like last night, before he shook his head firmly. “No, I haven’t done any of that with any other girl,”

“You haven’t?” you asked dryly, folding your arms over your chest.

“No!” he insisted, “They were never worth it. Yeah, I used to sleep around a little. I’m not ashamed of that. It was fun and easy and I didn’t want the commitment when I was trying to cement a place for myself up on the team. But then I met you, and that all changed,”

You swallowed heavily, looking away from him as your eyes pricked with tears. You wanted to believe. You wanted to believe him so much. By looking away, you missed the way Jamie’s forehead creased with a hurt expression again, but you didn’t miss it as he stood up and moved to stand in front of you, so you had no choice but to look up at him.

“I know it sounds like I’m just saying these things, but it’s true. You can ask any of the guys. I’ve never felt like this before for any woman. I’ve never acted this way around another woman. You are so special to me – and I don’t want to go back to that life I had before I met you. This relationship we have is serious to me, and I don’t want to lose that because some jealous catty girls made you feel insecure about what we have between us,”

You couldn’t help but whimper at his soft words, chin quivering as you fought not to cry again, one hand coming up to cover your mouth. Jamie made a distressed noise, guiding you to sit down on the bed and kneeling down in front of you so you could see the anguish on his face too.

“I don’t know what else to do or say for you to believe me. I care about you so much, and I know that my track record doesn’t exactly help me out here, but you’re different. What we have is different. Please believe me,” Jamie said desperately.

The devastation in his voice filled your stomach with lead. He really was pouring his whole heart into this, wasn’t he? And what reason did you have not to believe him? Were you really going to throw away the best relationship you’d ever had just because of some gossipy girls in the bathroom of a bar?

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Okay?” he asked hopefully.

You swallowed heavily but nodded. “Okay, I believe you. I really want to believe you. So I’m going to try not to let my insecurity get the better of me,” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could.

The sheer relief on Jamie’s face made your heart beat a little faster. He leant his forehead against yours briefly, just long enough to inhale slowly, before he leant back, smiling the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, to which you could do nothing but smile back at him.

“I’m going to prove to you how much you mean to me,” Jamie said firmly.

“Jamie, no, I don’t need-”

“But maybe I do. Need to prove it, that is,” he interrupted, eyes wide but serious, “Maybe I need to do this for me,”

You bit your bottom lip but nodded. If that’s what he needs?

“Just don’t go crazy?” you winced.

Jamie laughed softly, but shook his head. “I won’t, I promise,”

Well that was something at least. He moved to sit next to you on the bed, hand lacing with yours again.

“Do you want to nap? Even just for another hour or so?” he said softly.

“Oh god, more than anything,” you groaned, nodding.

Jamie laughed, that beautiful smile back on his face, as he reached one arm back to tug his tshirt over his head. He stood up, pausing briefly, before he shoved his sweatpants to the ground, revealing himself to be wearing no underwear at all. He sat back down, eyes hesitant, cock soft against his thigh, completely bare and vulnerable to you, before he reached for your dressing gown sash. You stayed silent as he tugged it open, only moving to help him slip it off your body, leaving you just as bare as him. He smiled at you, ducking his head to give you the gentlest of kisses, before guiding the two of you under the covers.

“You’re everything to me, baby,” he murmured, hand rising to cup your face.

Your heart swelled with warmth and your eyes filled with tears, making Jamie frown until you captured his lips with a kiss, trying to pour your emotions into the embrace as your hands clutched at his shoulders.

“Hey, hey, ssh, it’s okay. We’re okay,” he mumbled between kisses.

You pulled away from him, inhaling shakily as you nodded.

“Hold me while we sleep?” you asked hopefully.

“Of course,” he said softly, smiling sweetly.

That smile was all you needed to reassure you as you turned over, letting him press his chest to your back and wrap his arms around you from behind. As you closed your eyes and relaxed, you felt him press soft absent-minded kisses to your neck, drifting off in the warmth of his hold.

*

Jamie sighed at the number of cars already at the training rink as he parked his car. He knew that his heavier-than-usual drinking at Kivi’s birthday two nights ago had raised some eyebrows, especially from the teammates who’d seen you leave early. Of course he was happier knowing that things were okay between the two of you again, but he didn’t relish the thought of explaining to anyone why you’d left, but if he knew his team (and he did, too well)

How people could be so cruel was beyond him.

He avoided meeting anyone’s eyes as he walked through the corridor maze to the locker room, just nodding at the few people getting changed when he dropped his bag on the floor. He could hear more people entering the room from wherever they’d been in the rink before he got there, but it wasn’t until Jamie was about to put his skates on that he heard someone clearing their throat next to him.

“Hey Riggy, got a minute?”

Jamie looked up at the sound of Tyler’s voice, raising an eyebrow as he noticed his Captain watching, along with Bish, Dickie and Pavs. Great.

“Sure,” Jamie said simply.

Tyler beamed at him and started walking out of the room, making Jamie sigh as he followed him into an empty trainer’s room. As soon as the door was closed, Jamie folded his arms over his chest, staring his teammate down.

“Is this an ordered interrogation?” Jamie asked bluntly.

Tyler just grinned, unperturbed. “Well it was either me by myself or a group intervention,” he shrugged.

Oof, no thank you. That would’ve been all kinds of awkward. Tyler laughed at the grimace on Jamie’s face, nudging Jamie with his shoulder until Jamie unfolded his arms. Tyler jerked his chin at a chair, indicating wordlessly for Jamie to sit down, so he did so, Tyler following his lead and sitting down too.

“You know we care about you,” Tyler started.

“Aww jeez Seggy,” Jamie groaned, interrupting.

Tyler just laughed, kicking out a foot at Jamie, toes lightly tapping his shin.

“I’m serious, man! You’re not normally a heavy drinker like that and we’re worried. I mean, I know that it had something to do with you and your girl, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it while I waited for her uber with her,”

“Thank you for making sure she was okay, by the way,” Jamie said, swallowing heavily.

Because he sure as hell hadn’t been able to himself.

“Yeah of course, Riggy. I care about her too, she’s a good person,” Tyler shrugged, smiling.

Jamie smiled back, appreciating Tyler’s candid caring nature even more.

“Are the two of you okay?” Tyler asked softly.

Jamie nodded, although he felt his smile dimming a little at the memory of how emotional yesterday had been.

“We spent yesterday talking, on and off. I went over really early in the morning to confront her. Not in an aggressive way, but like, to make sure she was okay and to ask her what happened? Well, she essentially had a breakdown and eventually told me why she left, and after we napped for a few hours, we just spent the day watching mindless tv in between talking more,” Jamie explained.

Tyler let out a sigh of relief, nodding, making Jamie smile slightly. The fact that his teammate cared so much about his relationship meant so much, especially with how close Tyler had grown with you in only a few months. To have that kind of support was so important to him – the team was like a second family, so it meant a lot to Jamie that they’d welcomed you with open arms.

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking,” Tyler asked.

Jamie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

He never commits.

She’ll be out soon.

She’s nothing special.

That isn’t going to change.

“She was in the bathroom and overheard some puck bunnies talking about how I never commit to a relationship and how she was nothing special so I’d be ending our relationship soon enough. How I would never change,” Jamie muttered.

Tyler groaned, wincing. “Shit, I can see why she was so upset,”

Jamie just nodded, frowning. “I understand why she left, really I do. But I just don’t know what I can do to help her. People are always going to talk, that’s a downside of a relationship like this. But I just…I like her so much. And I hate that she felt so insecure yesterday, especially since I think she’s incredible,”

“Look…I haven’t known her long, and especially not like you do, but what I do know, I get it. I can see why she would be anxious,” Tyler admitted.

“Why? How?” Jamie frowned.

How could you not see how amazing he thought you were?

“It may be a couple of months down the line for the two of you, but it’s still new too. New enough. And you did play around a little – not that there’s anything wrong with that, you were always clear in letting those girls know you didn’t want anything serious. Just like you’ve been clear with her how much she means to you. This is the first time she’s had something so direct in person. It’s just…cut her a little slack,” Tyler reminded him.

Jamie felt his heart sink but nodded. Tyler was right. Of course he was right. Just because it felt like it had been years already…it was still new. Wonderful and incredible and heartstopping, but new.

“I know, of course I will. I told her I’m going to prove to her how much she means to me, but I just don’t know how,” Jamie said seriously.

Tyler laughed, shaking his head. “You and your love language man,”

Jamie blushed but shrugged. He wasn’t ashamed of how much he enjoyed being able to buy gifts to show his affection – because it wasn’t just empty gestures. Whenever he bought something, it was out of love, and every little gift meant something to him.

“All I can say is combine what you love with what she loves. Can’t hurt to have a balance,” Tyler said, shrugging.

Then he laughed at the exasperated look on Jamie’s face.

“Don’t make things complicated. Stick with the classics, Riggy. You can’t go wrong with the classics,” Tyler grinned.

“Yeah, alright you make a good point,” Jamie conceded, nodding.

A fancy dinner? A fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant could work, right? Somewhere special, where he could show you how special you were…

“Alright I can see the cogs are turning. We’d better get back to practice though, before Cap comes after us himself,” Tyler mused.

Jamie grimaced, making Tyler cackle as he stood up. He accepted the wordless hug from Tyler without hesitation though, thumping him once on the back before the two of them left the room. He could only hope to get through practice smoothly – he had plans to sweep you off your feet to make.

*

From: Tyler

So I heard from a little birdie that Riggy is taking you out to The French Room tonight?

~

The French Room. Hah. When Jamie had told you he had reservations three days after your long heart to heart, your jaw had dropped. One of the top rated dining places in Downtown Dallas?! And he had reservations?! You were so glad he’d given you forewarning though, because it meant you were able to dress up to match the venue. This wasn’t just something you could guess for.

Because somewhere this opulent needed something a little fancier than usual.

Luckily, a couple of weeks back after that first game you attended as Jamie’s girlfriend, some of the spouses and partners had taken you out for a girls’ afternoon, a boozy lunch with shopping afterwards, and they’d convinced you to buy a gorgeous pale blue long-sleeved knee-length lace dress, much fancier than you would usually buy, just in case. Just in case was the occasion tonight.

Jamie’s jaw had even dropped when he picked you up, eyes roving over your body, so you’d take it as a win.

Walking into the restaurant had your heart beating so fast – even the ceilings, arched and grand as they were, took your breath away. Jamie just watched you with a smile, hand gentle on your back as the two of you were guided to your secluded table. Jamie gave the waiter your wine order before you’d even sat down, making you laugh softly at the pleased look on his face.

“Someone’s prepared,” you teased.

“Someone’s worth preparing for,” he shot back, winking.

Your cheeks flushed with heat, only making Jamie smile wider.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jamie murmured, eyes staring straight into your soul.

“Jamie!” you giggled, one hand covering your face in embarrassment.

He laughed, reaching over the table to tug your hand away from your face, linking your fingers with his as he rested your joined hands on the table.

“I mean it. Everyone’s jealous that I’m with the most beautiful woman in the room,” Jamie said simply.

“Oh you smooth talker,” you mused, cheeks still warm.

“I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me,” he shrugged, laughter in his eyes.

“Your wine?”

Saved by the bell. Or well, the waiter.

“A toast?” Jamie said, picking up his glass when the waiter had left you once more.

“Toast to what?” you asked, smiling as you picked up your wine glass too.

“A toast to us,” he said smoothly, “a toast to us and all there is to come,”

You bit your bottom lip to stop the stupid grin threatening to spread across your face, but could do nothing about the butterflies that filled your stomach. The warmth in his eyes as your glasses clinked together made your heartbeat pick up as always, and then there was that beautiful genuine smile…how could you have any chance of surviving that? This was everything you needed after that awful evening – just you and him and a special evening together. What more could you ask for?

Then his smile faded into the most serious expression you’d ever seen him wear, and you swallowed heavily, heart beating fast for all different reasons now.

“I know you have your reservations, your insecurities about us, especially after the other night. All I can do is try to remind you just how much I adore you, how important you are to me. I know you don’t need fancy gifts or extravagant dinners all the time, but tonight…tonight feels special to me,” Jamie said.

“It feels special to me too, Jamie,” you replied, a little hesitant, “But…”

“No buts. Unless it’s your butt,” Jamie mused.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his cheesy words, the nervous tension breaking a little, although you still felt a little trepidation as Jamie’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. He only did that when he was nervous…

What did he have to be nervous about?

It was when he pulled a red box out of his pocket and passed it across the table to you that you got your answer.

Cartier. Holy shit.

“Jamie…”

You trailed off helplessly, only able to stare at the box in shock.

“Please, will you open it?” Jamie asked softly.

You bit your bottom lip but nodded, opening the lid with a shaky hand.

Inside was a delicate chain bracelet connecting to three overlapping rings, each a different colour of gold – rose gold, yellow gold and white gold. It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing anyone had ever given you. And Jamie had given it to you?

He cleared his throat, making you look back up at him.

“It’s called the sweet trinity. There was a whole blurb about it online, but, uh, from what I remember, the pink stands for love, yellow for fidelity and white for friendship. When I saw that, it makes so much sense to me - they are intertwined because you can’t have one without the other. Which is exactly how I feel about you,”

Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes pricking with tears and your mouth going dry. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Jamie saw the overwhelmed expression on your face and leaned forward, hand reaching out to hold yours, bringing your attention back to him.

“I saw the bracelet before the…event the other night. You can ask Tyler, I was with him. He teased me about being head over heels for you already. When I walked past that same Cartier store again today, I just followed my gut and went inside again – and there it was, still sitting on the cushion on display. It felt like fate,” Jamie said softly.

You inhaled sharply, looking down at the beautiful piece of jewellery again. Never had anyone bought you anything like this, never. And you didn’t want to know how much it cost – you could only imagine. For him to buy you something like this?

“I don’t know what to say,” you murmured, looking back up at him with wide eyes.

“Say you’ll wear it?” Jamie asked hopefully.

You laughed a little helplessly, cutting yourself off by biting your bottom lip. How could you ever turn down something that beautiful, when Jamie had thought about it just for you? When he’d gone back, followed his instincts, and still come to the same conclusion?

“Yeah, of course I will,” you nodded, smiling widely.

The answering smile that Jamie gave you filled your stomach with butterflies.

“Now?” he asked.

You just squeezed the hand that he was already holding, smile going a little shy as you flipped it over. “Will you help me put it on?”

Jamie inhaled sharply at the thin delicate skin of your wrist but nodded. “Yeah, yeah, if you want me to,”

You watched intently as he carefully took the bracelet out of the box, and your cheeks warmed at how gently he moved your wrist with his large hands, turning it just so to get the clasp done up properly. As the cool metal hit your skin, Jamie’s eyes widened, shifting a little darker as his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Interesting.

“That looks amazing on you,” he murmured.

Huh. He really does like it.

You gently trailed a finger over the delicate chain, over the thin skin of your wrist, and Jamie inhaled sharply, making you grin. Maybe Tyler wasn’t wrong about this love language thing after all. Maybe it was exactly what Jamie needed.

“Maybe we should look at the menu?” you suggested, tilting your head slightly.

Jamie narrowed his eyes slightly at the teasing lilt in your voice, but smiled slowly, knowing that the obvious desire in his eyes made you squirm in the best way.

“Yes, good idea. The night has only just began after all,” Jamie smirked.

Well now there was a thought.

*

You woke up in Jamie’s bed the next morning with an ache between your thighs, early morning light peeking through the curtains, lengthening your body out in a luxurious stretch. Jamie was completely knocked out still beside you, and you couldn’t help but bury your face in your pillow to muffle your happy squeal. Last night had been amazing – not just because of the incredible gift Jamie had given you, but because of the feelings behind it. Jamie had shown his heart to you, and you had accepted it entirely. Anxiety and insecurity would never fully go away, but he had more than proven to you that he was committed to your relationship.

How could you be happier? Not only that but the food had been outstanding – Jamie’s eyes constantly flicking down to the jewellery on your wrist - and when the two of you had eventually returned back to Jamie’s home, well…he’d brought you to new heights over and over again, until you’d both collapsed in a blissful heap.

Things could only go up from here, right?

It was when you reached for your phone on the bedside table that you spotted the bracelet in its box again. Biting your lip, you snapped a quick picture and send it to Tyler, the previous night’s conversation above it.

~

From: Tyler

Whew that is a pretty little gift there.

I can’t believe he went back and bought it.

~

To: Tyler

Yeah he said that he’d seen it with you and you’d teased him about it.

~

Not that you had doubted Jamie at all, but it made your stomach fill with butterflies to see Tyler confirm his story without you even asking. Jamie was a man of his word – you could appreciate that.

Again, within seconds, Tyler responded.

~

From: Tyler

When do I not tease him?

The man is nuts about you, you know that.

~

His words put a smile on your face, and you glanced over your shoulder to the sleeping man in question beside you.

~

To: Tyler

Yeah I do know. I’m a lucky girl.

~

From: Tyler

Just as much as he is a lucky guy.

~

You snorted, shaking your head. Ridiculous man.

“What’s so funny?”

You jumped slightly at the rumbling voice beside you and put your phone down before rolling over to face your boyfriend.

“Oh nothing, it’s just Tyler,” you shrugged, propping your head up with your hand.

Jamie rolled his eyes fondly. “It is far too early for you to be texting Seggy when you should be snuggling up with me,”

“Oh should I?” you mused.

Jamie growled playfully, scooping his arms around you to tug you towards him, making you shriek and burst out laughing.

“You’re such a caveman,” you giggled, batting at his chest but making exactly zero moves to escape from his hold.

“If you’re naked in my bed, you shouldn’t be thinking of another man,” Jamie pouted.

And as much as you could tell he was joking, there was also a thread of vulnerability in his voice that made you pause for a moment, before smiling softly.

“For one, Tyler doesn’t know that I’m naked in your bed. I mean, I’m sure he can guess, but he doesn’t know. And two, I sent him a photo of the bracelet because we were talking about the date yesterday, and I wanted to tell him how wonderful you are,” you said simply.

Jamie bit his bottom lip, but he was unable to hide the grin that spread across his face. He pulled you even closer together, bare bodies fully pressed up against each other now, allowing you to thread your leg between his thick thighs where you were lying on your side facing him. It was…intimate without being intimate. It was perfect.

“Tell him how wonderful I am, hmm?” Jamie murmured, hand sliding around your waist.

You gasped softly as that large hand settled lightly on your ass, but you grinned.

“Mmhmm, and how lucky I am,”

“I’m the lucky one,” Jamie grinned back.

“That’s what Tyler said,” you nodded.

“Enough talking about Tyler,” Jamie grumbled, squeezing your ass firmly.

A desperate noise escaped your throat, a wave of heat rushing through your body at the claiming action, Jamie’s eyes going dark.

“Don’t stop,” you said, a little breathlessly.

Jamie groaned as if he couldn’t help himself, before he captured your mouth in a kiss.

*

The buzzer sounded and that was it.

That was the end of the Stars season.

Your heart felt like it was cracking, breaking right in two. Jamie had fought so hard throughout the months of the playoffs, given his blood, sweat, & tears in his desperation to win the cup. Hell, the whole team had. Another year, another chance slipping through their fingers. You couldn’t help but shed tears alongside the other spouses and partners and families in the box, all of you knowing how much this had meant to the men in your lives.

But now it was over, and you had to be there to help them pick up the pieces, to recover, and to come back even stronger. Like there was anywhere else you’d rather be.

The wait for Jamie to be able to leave was excruciating. All you wanted to do was to hold him in your arms, but he (and the rest of the team) had to go through media questions as well as their own team debrief, and by the time Jamie eventually appeared he looked exhausted.

Like, drained to the bone exhausted.

Without a word, Jamie passed you his car keys, linking your hands together as you left the arena. Jamie stayed silent the whole way home, during the drive and even after you’d walked in his front door, to the point where you couldn’t hide your worry on your face. What could you do here? How could you help him?

Jamie saw the concern on your face and just pressed a kiss to your forehead, before tugging you gently up the stairs to his bedroom. Silence. All silence. Deafening all-consuming silence that you had no idea what to do with but it was clear that this was all that your boyfriend could handle right now. So you would roll with it, give him what he needed, just be there for him. That part was easy at least.

He stayed silent as he stripped out of his clothes, staying in his underwear, so you followed his lead, thankful for the grateful smile he sent you. It was definitely a new feeling trying to read someone without any verbal prompts, but just the fact that you could tell what Jamie needed after only 6 months without him telling you felt good, like you were doing the right thing.

Jamie guided you into bed with him, waiting until you were settled on your back before he rolled mostly on top of you and buried his face into your neck.

Oh.

Oh Jamie.

You slid your arms around him, one hand rising to play with his messy curls, and you felt him let out a shaky breath, bringing tears to your eyes. This strong wonderful man was barely clinging to his composure and he trusted you to see him so vulnerable? That broke your heart all over again.

Time passed slowly, like wading through molasses, filled only with your fingers stroking Jamie’s curls and his shaky breathing, everything fading out until your world consisted of only the two of you. He needed you. He needed you. He needed you. And there was nowhere you would rather be.

Eventually, Jamie pressed a kiss to your neck, and lifted his head up to look at you.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“What for?” you mused, cupping his bearded face with one hand.

“For being you. For supporting me. For making this suck less. Take your pick,” Jamie shrugged.

You laughed softly but curled your head down slightly to kiss him, just a soft slow kiss, before pulling away again. He still looked tired. Just so done with everything. And if you could help with that, even a little bit, then of course you were going to.

“I’m here for you, whatever you need,” was all you said.

“Hold me a little bit longer?” he asked hopefully.

As if you were going to say no to that. Instead of answering, you just pressed his head back down into your neck, earning a huffed laugh against your skin as well as a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin. You could feel his body relaxing finally, melting into yours, and you let your body do the same, the emotions of the day finally catching up with you. Just as you were starting to drift off, you felt Jamie kiss your neck again.

“I don’t really know what tomorrow is going to be like. Probably awful. But I’m glad I get to do it with you by my side,”

This man. This big beautiful tender-hearted man. How did he not realise how devastating he was to your heart?

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here with you, as long as you want me,” you said softly, willing your voice not to crack.

Jamie hummed softly, pressing another kiss to your neck, before he buried his face back down. You cradled his head with your hand, squeezing the arm you had around his waist that little bit tighter. If he needed you to shield him from the world, to protect his head and his heart, then you absolutely would. He had always been there as a rock when you needed him, and there was nothing that could stop you from being the rock he needed in return now.

You didn’t know what this summer would bring, but you knew you would be right there by his side. The two of you had found each other out of nowhere, and there was no way you were losing him now. Jamie had your heart, just like you had his, and you couldn’t imagine your future without him. It had been a beautiful 6 months together – bring on tomorrow, and every day after that.

[sankyeom]

splash! | l.jy

pairings: lee juyeon x reader genre: lifeguard!juyeon, summer love, strangers to lovers summary: in which you fall in love with the lifeguard at the hotel pool during your summer vacation and don’t want to have to say goodbye word count: 5.1k warnings: i said bullshit like once i think requested: nope, this is the result of me having a daydream about lifeguard juyeon and missing my home in santa cruz a lot bc i’m overseas right now note: i should have called this water after the boyz’ song, but i already made the banner say splash and i was too lazy to change it. also i was picturing ddd era juyeon for this fic so keep that in mind if you want 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

The salty air blowing in the breeze wasn’t a familiar scent, but you welcomed it as you draped yourself across the beach lounge chair by the hotel pool. You couldn’t have been more thankful for your best friend who surprised you with a beach-side vacation for the summer. Your third year of University had been difficult to say the least, and after your friend had seen you buried in books and notes, they decided enough was enough.

“Didn’t I say this was a good idea?” your best friend asked, shielding their face with a broad-brimmed sun hat. The two of you had opted to lounge by the pool for the day instead of hitting the beach, mostly because your friend wasn’t particularly fond of the ocean.

“Yes,” you hummed in agreement. “Didn’t I already acknowledge that you’re a genius?” you retorted, turning on your side to face your best friend. They made a vaguely dismissive motion with their hand, eliciting a laugh from you as you decided what book to read while you soaked up some sun.

A shout interrupted your thoughts. “Hey!” the call came from the lifeguard up on the tall wooden chair that designated his position. Your eyes followed the sound, intrigued by the sudden call. The man in question was tall, slender, and broad-shouldered, with light brown hair and honey blond highlights. He was speaking into a megaphone and seemed to be targeting a group of teenage boys. “They’re not interested. Stop bothering them and go along with your day,” you noticed the group of boys in question seemed to be lingering near some teenage girls. They scowled at the lifeguard, faces clearly displaying their embarrassment at being called out. It seemed as though they wanted to reply, perhaps say something snooty about them being guests there, but the lifeguard wouldn’t have it. “Don’t make me go down there. I will go down there,” he warned.

You cracked a smile as the group of boys mumbled to one another before stalking off with glares on their faces. “Well that was nice of him,” your friend had peeked out from under their sunhat long enough to witness the encounter. “He’s pretty cute,” they observed.

Pretty cute was an understatement.

As far as bodies went, his was clearly well maintained and rather impressive, but his face was what had caught your attention initially. He had clear, sharp eyes and a small, slender nose. His dyed hair made him appear to almost glow in the summer sun, skin tanned from being outside all day long. When you glanced down to observe his face, you realised you had been glancing at the stranger’s lips for far longer than socially acceptable and decided to just look away.

“I saw that,” your friend pointed out. “You think he’s more than just pretty cute, huh?” they teased you, wiggling their eyebrows as best as they could to further taunt you.

“No, don’t be ridiculous,” you lied, risking another look back at the lifeguard.

You hadn’t realised it, but the fairly close proximity to the lifeguard’s chair gave Juyeon both a clear view of you and your friend as well as the ability to hear your chatter. Having noticed you earlier as well, Juyeon could feel his ears burning with embarrassment as the two of you locked eyes. When you and your friend arrived, you had caught his attention because the two of you looked like you were very close and having a lot of fun. His summer job thus far had been anything but fun, and the way you looked when you laughed was simply radiant.

Noticing the tension in the area, your friend beamed. “Do you need me to work my magic?” they wondered, taking their hat off and giving you their full attention.

“You don’t have any magic,” you hissed back, breaking eye contact with the cute lifeguard to hush your friend. “And don’t be so loud, he’s not that far away,” you added in a whisper.

“Oh honey,” your friend sighed. “You need all the help you can get. Leave this to me,” they winked, taking off their cover up as you began to protest.

“No, stop that,” you whisper-yelled. “What are you doing, why are you-“ you cut yourself off as your friend not-so-elegantly dove into the pool. You exhaled loudly, looking up at the sky and hoping to any god that existed that your friend wasn’t going to embarrass you.

When your friend started swimming and going nowhere near the lifeguard, you decided you could calm down and not worry about their actions anymore. That was until your friend started shouting and flailing about in the pool, calling out for the lifeguard to help them as they struggled in the water. You furrowed your brows together. They were a perfect swimmer, there was no way they could really be drowning in a pool shallow enough for them to stand.

Without waiting, the lifeguard gracefully dove into the pool and paddled towards your best friend. “I’ve got you, you’re okay,” he told your friend, pulling them towards the edge of the pool. Still, your friend made a big show out of panicking and clinging onto him as he lifted them out of the water.

“Please,” you friend said between exaggerated coughs. “Get my friend,” they pleaded.

You groaned. This had been their plan all along.

With quick steps, you made your way towards the pair. “Are you okay?” you asked your friend, narrowing your eyes at them in warning. Translation: you’re so dead when we’re alone.

Their eyes widened as they nodded. “I had a leg cramp,” they explained innocently, stretching out their right leg and wincing. “Oh look, all better!” with that they jumped up happily and walked back to your lounge chairs.

Your jaw dropped in surprise at their actions as they left you and the lifeguard to kneel on the floor alone. His eyes drifted back to meet yours and he coughed, reaching up to rub the back of his neck with flushed cheeks. The way your eyes peered curiously at him made him want to squeal like an excited child, but Juyeon managed to restrain himself. “Um, I hope they’re okay,” he said awkwardly instead.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” you assured him, feeling your face warm up. “Um, I’m really sorry about them,” you tried to apologise for your friend’s obvious, and terrible, acting.

The handsome lifeguard blinked innocently at you. “Oh, it’s fine. Leg cramps are really common and I wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt under my watch,” then he smiled in a way that made your insides melt, and you had to remind yourself to breathe.

He was the definition of breathtaking, and he seemed innocent and sweet enough to believe that your friend had really been in peril, which made him all the more cute. “I’m Juyeon,” he introduced himself, going to hold out his hand for you to shake before realising it was wet, and lowering it.

“I’m Y/n,” you replied, a laugh naturally escaping you without even trying. He was too sweet.

By the time you made your way back to your friend, they were already grinning at you with a knowing look on their face. “And you said I don’t have any magic,” they scoffed. “I wrote the book on magic, okay?”

“That was embarrassing as hell,” you said instead of agreeing with them. “Never do that again.”

Your friend ignored you. “What’s his name?” they asked.

You paused, getting comfortable on the lounge chair before facing them. “Juyeon,” you answered, and that was just as good as admitting their absurd plan had worked for your friend.

The bonfire was almost twice your own height by the time you arrived at the beach. Your friend had caught wind of the midnight bonfire from one of the waiters at the breakfast bar that morning, and had begged you to go almost all day long. After not seeing Juyeon at the pool all day, you were in the mood to get out of your head and eventually agreed to go.

You felt stupid looking for the lifeguard after only meeting him once, but there was something about him that made you want to get to know him better. Good looks aside, he was sweet and innocent and he had made your vacation a little more interesting by being your summer crush.

The night was slightly chilly, making you relieved that you had thought ahead and worn a cardigan so that you wouldn��t be cold. “Let’s get closer,” your friend suggested before dragging you to stand right by the fire pit. “Oh! It’s you,” their cheeky tone warned you of the fact that they had bumped into Juyeon before you even saw him. He looked comfortable in a short sleeve button up and jeans, and the fire illuminated his honey skin to make him appear as though he was truly glowing. “You saved my life,” your friend told him.

He laughed a low chuckle. “Ah, it’s just my job,” he waved it off with a small shrug. Then, his eyes met yours. “It’s good to see you again, Y/n,” Juyeon greeted.

The fact that he remembered your name shouldn’t have been such a big deal, but it definitely felt like a sign to you. You smiled. “You too,” you assured him. “What brings you here?”

“My friends Kevin and Jacob organised the bonfire,” Juyeon explained, pointing them out nearby. “I figured I might as well do something other than work all summer long,” he added with a bashful smile.

“Great idea,” your friend chimed. “I’m going to get some drinks, Y/n?” they offered but you waved them off, uninterested. Music started playing softly through a bluetooth speaker, and for a moment you were nervous that Juyeon would ask you to dance. You weren’t so confident in your ability to remember to breathe around him, nonetheless actually dance in an appealing way.

Almost as if he sensed your nerves, Juyeon held out his hand to you. “Want to see something cool?” he offered, titling his head slightly at you. Shrugging, you took his hand and let him lead you away from the bonfire and to a darker part of the beach.

“This is super suspicious, just so you know,” you informed him in a teasing tone. You weren’t actually nervous to be alone with Juyeon, there was something soothing about his presence that made you feel at ease.

Juyeon laughed. “Don’t you trust me?” he teased you right back.

“Well,” you hummed. “All I know about you is that you’re a lifeguard, your name is Juyeon, and that your friends are all back at the bonfire along with mine.”

“All the more reason to follow me,” he grinned, coming to a stop further down the beach. “Now,” Juyeon said, gently taking you by the shoulders to stand in front of him. “Look at this,” he pointed up, and you followed his finger until you saw a small cluster of golden lights leisurely twirling through the air.

Realisation struck you and you gasped audibly. “Oh my god,” you exclaimed. “Are those fireflies?”

Said fireflies were floating about the sky, some above you and some lower at the water, exploring their surroundings. “You ever seen those before?” you shook your head at Juyeon’s question. “They usually like to be in marshy, forest areas. But the other night I saw them close to here, exploring the shore.”

“This is incredible,” you admitted, eyes following the small glowing insects as they soar. “What makes them glow?” you asked, feeling Juyeon’s chest against your back as he inched closer.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s the same reason you and I are here right now,” you turn your head to look at Juyeon, curious. He was already smiling, as if he knew something that you didn’t. “Chemistry,” he whispered, making you laugh.

“That was cheesy.”

“Maybe so, but it’s true, isn’t it?”

You nod. “I suppose so,” you manage to agree.

Juyeon smiles. “Do you think I could kiss you?”

“I definitely think you should.”

When he kissed you, your eyes closed and you saw little dots of gold on the inside of your eyelids, perfectly mimicking the glow of the fireflies surrounding the both of you.

After your kiss with Juyeon, he seemed to be appearing everywhere you looked. At the pool when he was on duty, at the bar you and your friend were snacking at during his breaks, the beach during the sunset, and the dining hall for dinner. Your friend was pleased that you were finding something – or rather, someone – to entertain and soothe you after the difficult year you had at University.

Before you exited the pool for the day, Juyeon leaned down to whisper in your ear: “Meet me at the gate at midnight,” without any further explanation. Excited to spend more time with him, you easily nodded in agreement and left to tell your friend about your evening plans.

When the time came, you made your way down to the pool’s gate to meet Juyeon, finding it locked since the pool closed before sundown. As Juyeon approached you in a pair of board shorts and a t-shirt, waving a key in the air with an excited glint in his eyes, you quickly figured out what his plans for your night were. “Are you up for a midnight swim?” Juyeon wondered, greeting you with a hug. The small act of affection made an unavoidable and automatic smile appear on your lips.

“I’m up for anything,” you replied, winding your arms around his waist and leaning back enough to smile at Juyeon. “As long as you don’t get into trouble for it?” you added, eyeing the thick metal lock on the pool gates.

“I won’t get in trouble if we don’t get caught,” he retorted with a small wink, lifting his hand to gently stroke your cheek with his thumb. This was something you liked a lot about being with Juyeon: everything always felt easy and relaxed. “I’ve never gone for a midnight dip before, and I figure a lit-up pool is safer than the ocean.”

“Ah yes,” you laughed. “Safety first. How could I forget that I’m amidst Lee Juyeon, lifeguard extraordinaire.”

Juyeon burst out laughing at your words, eyes crinkling with his widened grin. He gave a shy smile when he was done, opening the gate to the pool for you and allowing you to enter first. Slightly excited at the idea of sneaking around with Juyeon, you made your way towards the pool, closely followed by Juyeon.

As you and Juyeon started undressing down to your bathing suits, you eyed the empty lifeguard chair that he usually occupied. “You’re pretty distracting up there on your little chair, you know?” you admitted, tucking your hair behind your ears.

“Me?” Juyeon exclaimed, pausing while attempting to take off his t-shirt. “I’m the one that has to work and pretend that I’m not sneaking glances at you every minute because you’re so captivating,” he argued, shaking his head in disbelief.

You snuck a quick look at his torso, half exposed from where he was paused. “You’re clueless,” you accused with a sigh, not understanding how Juyeon couldn’t understand how attractive he was. “Now hurry up, I want to swim,” you added with a slight whine.

At your encouragement, the two of you had soon made your way into the lukewarm water of the pool, gently splashing each other in a playful manner. Rather than swimming laps or diving in the water, you and Juyeon decided to stand in the water next to each other and see how the water trickled from your hands to his, underneath yours.

Although the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, you still wished to know more about the boy in front of you. “What’s your biggest fear?” you wondered, watching how little droplets of water sliding down the side of your palm fell into Juyeon’s larger palm.

Each time your fingertips brushed against his palm, tingles shot from the very tips of your fingers down to your toes. Warmth spread throughout your body. You always felt warm when you were with Juyeon.

Juyeon made a quiet sound akin to a chuckle, but thought about his answer. “Heartbreak,” he told you. You paused playing with the water to observe his expression. Usually, his eyes smiled whenever you looked at him. Now, his eyes seemed to be lost in something else.

“Funny,” you said. “That’s mine, too.”

The realisation that whatever the two of you were doing – be it dating casually or just having an exciting summer fling – might end in both of your biggest fear put a temporary stop to the careless relaxation you had been experiencing up until that point.

“I guess we just won’t break each other’s hearts,” Juyeon said it so simply that you believed him. 

Believed that you could have nothing but a small, summer fling with Juyeon. That maybe you wouldn’t fall for the kind-eyed man in front of you, and that your summer wouldn’t end in heartbreak.

So you smiled back at him and agreed.

Silently, you and Juyeon agreed to keep things fun and casual that summer. You had in depth conversations about your hopes and dreams for your futures; the lives you intended to live after your education was over. However, you never told one another things about your everyday lives that could make you get attached to one another. You didn’t speak about where you lived, your daily schedule, or what you looked for in a partner.

Lying beside Juyeon, your thighs brushing his and hands intertwined on his chest, felt comfortable; familiar. The night was still fairly warm out despite it being well past midnight, and the two of you had decided to lie down by the beach and admire the night sky.

The stars were so bright that evening, glowing and shimmering as if they had come out just so you could admire them. The glow they released felt like little fireflies hung up in the sky, as though you could reach out and touch them.

“I don’t know,” you answered Juyeon’s question about what you wanted to do as a career. Your tone caused Juyeon to turn his head to face you. His hair was still damp, and it fell flat against his forehead in a short fringe. You angled your body to face his, raising your hand to run your fingers through his hair. The intimate action didn’t seem to bother Juyeon, and you tried to ignore the way it made your stomach swirl. “I’m always scared to think about it. I just finished my third year of Uni, and I still have no idea what I want to do.”

“You have all the options in the world open to you,” Juyeon rephrased your troubles lightly. “All you have to do is reach out and take them.” he paused, closing his eyes to relish in the feeling of your hands in his hair. “I know what I want to do.”

“Yeah?” you asked, tightening Juyeon’s zip-up hoodie around your frame as the breeze blew stronger; the sound of waves crashing against the shore music to your ears. “What’s that?”

“I want to be a dancer,” Juyeon said. “I want to perform for others and tell a story. I want to sweat and bleed and hurt for it. Because I want to be perfect,” he chuckled. “I guess that’s my fatal flaw. Perfectionism.”

“Perfectionism is hardly fatal,” you disagreed. “Then go out there. Hurt and bleed and do it.”

“I wish it were that easy,” Juyeon muttered, pulling you gently against him. The moderate rhythm of his heart beat tenderly against your ear. “I just don’t know how to tell my parents. They still think I’m majoring in Economics. Guess I have one more year to tell them,” somehow, his statement managed to make the both of you laugh.

You mentally noted that you were in the same year of University, something personal that the both of you had agreed not to talk about. It would be foolish to get your hopes up about Juyeon wanting something serious with you; you forced yourself to let go of the idea altogether.

After all, you were scared of heartbreak too.

“Why is it so easy to talk to you?” Juyeon marvelled. “When I’m with my friends, I always feel like I never have a clue about anything. They’re always faster, wittier, and smarter than me. But with you, I feel like I can take my time.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you pondered on how to respond. Not only had Juyeon captured exactly how you felt around him, but he had made a statement so personal that you couldn’t ignore it.

“You can take your time,” you decided to say. “We have all summer long.”

As the summer was coming to an end, you were already dreading having to say goodbye to Juyeon. He introduced you to his friends throughout the summer, too. Jacob and Kevin from the bonfire, and Hyunjae the bartender from the hotel bar. You understood what Juyeon meant about feeling slow; his friends were balls of energy and quick-wit. You had spent every night with him, walking the beach, exploring the island, and forgetting any of your troubles. The next day, you would always bring your friend to the places you had adventured through the night before; recounting your escapades with Juyeon and admiring how different things looked in the light.

“You really like this guy,” your friend realised immediately. “And not just in a hot lifeguard way.”

You smiled sadly. “Yeah,” you admitted. “I don’t want to say goodbye to him.” The view of the beach during the day with the sun shining wasn’t the same as the way the beach appeared at night. You almost wanted it to be dark every time you went to the ocean.

Your friend smiled. “Maybe you don’t have to? Long distance relationships can work out, too.”

“He doesn’t want to be in a relationship,” you denied.

With a small shake of their head, your friend asked “How do you know that?”

“Because he’s afraid of heartbreak,” you looked out into the sea, observing the families and couples playing in the water together and laughing.

“I’ve heard that before,” your friend recalled all the times you used that as an excuse during the semester. “You know, I love heartbreak.” With wide eyes, you faced your friend to listen to their reasoning. “If I get heartbroken, at least it means I felt something.”

“Well, yes,” you allowed. “But why would you want to put yourself and your feelings out in the world, only to have them broken and exploited?”

“Who cares?” your friend said. “Who cares if my feelings get broken and exploited? How am I ever going to feel anything – love, happiness, admiration – if I’m so scared of being hurt that I never let myself feel it to begin with?”

You knew your friend was right. The more you got to know Juyeon, the more you knew that no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to prevent yourself from feeling an emotion you truly felt.

“I know that,” you confessed in a mumble. “That doesn’t mean that he feels the same.”

“Maybe you should try asking him?” your friend proposed. “Maybe he’ll surprise you. And maybe you should do it today, before we have to leave this afternoon,” they added, patting you gently on the shoulder and giving you their best encouraging smile.

You had already told Juyeon that you were leaving that day. He had mentioned that he had a shift at the pool in the early afternoon, but he promised that he would get away and say his goodbyes to you.

Perhaps you were holding on to his promise a little too tightly. That was why you felt so destroyed when Juyeon never showed, and you had to get the taxi on the way to the airport so you wouldn’t miss your flight.

“Are you okay?” your friend asked, sympathetic to your feelings.

“I’m okay,” you said. “Maybe I shouldn’t be so scared of being heartbroken. It seems like I have no control over that, anyway.”

When autumn came, you welcomed the cold.

The cold meant that you no longer had to think about Juyeon. Autumn in Seoul meant the leaves falling in magnificent shades of burnt orange and yellow, and it also meant going back to University for your final year of your degree. When school started again, you were thankful for the distraction. The more specialised and specific your classes became, the better idea you got of what you wanted to do with your degree in the future.

Coming out of a counselling session with your career counsellor, you felt confident with the options the two of you had come up with for careers to look in to. “I’ll be at the café soon,” you told your friend over the phone, almost rolling your eyes at their excitement over it being Friday. “Yes I promise. No more than ten minutes. Yes, I swear.”

As you hung up the phone, you hardly noticed someone in a black coat walking by you. “I’m so sorry!” the man exclaimed, picking up your dropped phone and handing it over to you. “I hope nothing happened to it,” he said.

You examined your phone, discovering that the screen wasn’t cracked and seemed to be functioning just find. “Don’t even worry about it,” you assured the man, glancing up at his bespectacled face. You paused. “I’m sorry, are you Jacob?” you asked him, vaguely recognising his face.

The man chuckled. “Kevin, actually,” he corrected. “It’s Y/n, right?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m not so great with names. Not that I was really trying to remember this summer, anyway,” you added awkwardly.

Kevin hummed. “Do you go to school here?”

“I do,” you nodded.

“Me too,” Kevin smiled.

Your eyes widened. “You go to school with Juyeon, though,” you recalled. “That means…”

“He goes here too,” Kevin finished for you. He studied your expression. “You should really talk to him. I think that a few things got mixed up between you guys and I’d hate for you to keep thinking poorly of my friend.”

Talking to Juyeon again just when you were getting over thinking of him didn’t seem like the wisest idea to you. And yet, “Okay,” you agreed. “I’ll meet him.”

It seemed almost too ironic that Juyeon was waiting for Kevin in the same café your friend was waiting in. When you saw the two sitting together, you realised why your friend was so desperate to get you to the café quickly. Sneaky.

“Hey,” you greeted Juyeon, taking a seat opposite him as your friend and Kevin gave you some privacy.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t meet you,” Juyeon apologised. “I know this sounds ridiculous but I got fired for breaking into the pool at night.”

You hadn’t been expecting that. “What?”

“The manager saw that someone had been breaking into the pool after hours. It seemed that he hadn’t gotten the keys on the nights where I locked up, so he pretty quickly figured out who it was,” Juyeon was sheepish to admit. “They escorted me out of the hotel so I couldn’t stay to talk to you.”

“Why didn’t you call?” you wondered.

Juyeon smirked. “It’s not like we exchanged numbers,” he argued.

“That stupid not falling in love and not getting heartbroken bullshit,” you sighed.

Juyeon rose an eyebrow. “You think it’s bullshit too?” he asked. “Glad to hear it. I was getting pretty sick of it by the end of the summer too.”

“Tell me about it,” you grinned. “So, we go to the same University,” you stated the obvious.

“Looks like it,” Juyeon grinned back at you. “I don’t know. It almost seems like it’s fate or something.”

You snorted. “Fate? Three months ago you refused to fall in love, and now you believe in fate?”

“People change,” Juyeon defended himself. “Especially when they meet someone worth changing for.”

You rose an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh really?”

Juyeon leaned forward. “Go on a date with me,” he requested. You merely smiled disbelievingly at him. “Seriously,” Juyeon insisted, eyes slightly narrowed with focus. “I’ve had three months to get to know you and I’ve been missing you for two more. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Your stomach fluttered with butterflies. You didn’t have to think about your answer for even one second. You were already head over heels for him. “And if we get heartbroken?” you asked quietly.

Juyeon cocked his head to the side, his familiar eye-smile appearing as he realised you felt the same as him. “Then at least I know that I loved you.”

note: this took me so long to write i’ve been working on it for a whole month. i hope you enjoyed it!!

updated note: guys i wrote this fic a year before thrill ride came out i basically predicted the future lmaooo

[longbobmckenzie]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics (if you haven't written that many, fine 🙄😉) that you've written, then pass on to your favorite writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜

Oooh, I love this, anon! Thank you!

first impressions - I think this one might be the one I'm most proud of. It's a regency!Bobby oneshot and it was challenging but oh-so-fun to write, and I really love the way it turned out. It's a bit of an ETL and draws inspiration from a bunch of the classics, but I think it's also just a sweet romance

someone like me - It's the only Lucas/MC fic I've written (so far?) and it's actually one of my most-kudos'd oneshots, yet for some reason I feel like it gets overlooked (amongst all my Bobby fics, lmao). It's just a cute little friends-to-lovers fic that I have a soft spot for

edge of the world (& sequels) - Can I cheat? I'm gonna cheat. I wrote not one, but three pirate!Bobby fics. The first one has gotten the most love, but I think I'm more proud of the sequels (particularly sails on the horizon) because I can see how my writing has improved. Either way, I love these fics and am super proud of myself for taking on the challenge of writing them

whiskey & scotch - Honestly I struggled with whether to include this one or another one, for a few reasons. One, it was my first fic and my writing has improved a *lot* since then. It's in 1st person POV, which I don't prefer, and in hindsight I included more canon material than was necessary and spent too much time on challenges, etc. But I also love the friends-to-lovers slow burn, the drama, and the nostalgia that it brings when I think of it. Plus, if I hadn't written this one, I wouldn't have written any of the ones that followed. It was also while I was writing/doing research for this fic that I fell in love with Henrik, and I strongly considered blowing up my outline and making him endgame, but I ended up sticking with my original plan (Bobby as the LI) and am now planning to rewrite the fic with an alternate ending (changing the POV, changing a few things I don't like about the original, hopefully cutting the word count significantly, and most importantly, Henrik as the endgame 😍)

saving the best for last - (I had to save this for last) My first oneshot, and the only time I've ever come up with an idea in the morning and had it written and posted by the end of the day. I'm usually a slow writer, but this one was just such a fun writing experience. If you've ever wondered what Bobby gets up to while MC is on a hoe route... now you know

honourary mention: it's just a crush - I've got 23 fics, give me a break, okay? I debated whether to include this one, I've been kinda critical in hindsight but after some lovely words from some lovely people, I'm including it. This fic was in the back of my mind for almost a year before I started writing it, and the reception it got kinda blew me away. If I could do it again, I'd make it a bit shorter, but if you ever want to read a slow, slow burn with a shy MC pining for Bobby, this is the fic for you!

honourary mention two: cashmere & cocoa - Henrik, my beloved. What was meant to be a oneshot for a prompt competition became a 4-chapter mini fic, and just thinking about it gives me the warm fuzzies. I would like to be stranded in a cabin with Henrik during a snowstorm, please and thank you

Thanks again, this was fun (I kinda love talking about my fics, ngl)! But also so hard to choose, I had to get advice from some friends 🤣