#lio liveblogs: thrawn series.

[loveoaths]

thrawn: alliances is hilarious actually

shit that has happened so far:

- an extended scene wherein anakin confidently mispronounces Thrawn’s full name

- anakin is SO touchy about thrawn being smarter than him that he goes out of his way to prove he’s smart too, and, in the process, fucks up their plans. you know. like an idiot would

- r2 desperately wishes to commit murder, father! please him shoot the stinky evil men!

- padme has an (sadly off-screen) grand theft auto chase sequence with the cops and wins

- padme then hangs out in the woods with three hot bearded beefcakes

- Vader and Thrawn get in a bar fight wherein Thrawn douses a guy in vodka wet t-shirt style and Vader bitchslaps a man with his lightsaber hilt

- thrawnakin homoeroticism is advancing at an exponential and frankly dangerous rate

- Vader does the space racist “you’re maybe one of the good ones” to thrawn and then immediately takes it back lmfao

- anakin uses the force to make a dead man walk around and look alive and has a weird moment where he’s kind of into it, and seems to believe that if he had an hour to devote to playing with this dead guy he could figure out how to make him move, walk, and react like a real living person, which is as funny as it is chilly as it is wrong. bc anakin’s ass is NOT paying attention long enough to do anything of the sort!

- thrawn can’t stop himself from mentoring every pathetic man within 100 feet of him

- anakin thinks thrawn is cool and is big mad about it

[loveoaths]

things i like so far about thrawn: treason:

- thrawn cannot help collecting a little guy to mentor. it is one of his fatal flaws. this guy talks to anyone in a 50 mile radius like a kgb preschool teacher. “and where do you think the grysk hid the bombs, commander? why? can you show me how many bombs there are on your fingers?” knowing that he is one of the empire’s most dangerous assets is peak comedy. he’s just an autistic evil pre-k teacher (affectionate)

- grand admiral savit diagnosing thrawn with autism 30 seconds after meeting him

- faro. keep being yourself little lady.

- eli can NOT catch a break. every chiss and their mother has something shit to say about him, and he has to take it all on the chin. stay strong my country king

- eli’s default state being resentful and dogged determination until someone gives him an ounce of attention, at which point he does a full 180 into “i’d die for you” land

- hot blue girls and their sub-par blue boy compatriots

- domtop queen admiral ara’lani and her weird ass accent

[loveoaths]

god the end of thrawn: alliances is so fucking dire

- thrawn predicts the clone betrayal and eagerly begs anakin to consider what [REDACTED] could mean but anakin, ONCE AGAIN LIKE WITH FIVES, doesn’t fucking listen

- thrawn tells anakin not to [REDACTED], anakin doesn’t listen, and padmé won’t argue with him because he’s acting like he did with the Tusken massacre and scaring her and she’s too scared/unnerved to speak up against him even with Thrawn’s support, which leads to anakin [REDACTED]ing and entire [REDACTED] and majorly fucking over [REDACTED]. and he isn’t even sorry about it because it’s what he decided to do, and if he admits he’s wrong here he has to admit he’s been wrong at other points and he refuses to do that

- anakin admits to himself a billion times that he is not a good jedi and ain’t there for the right reasons but he’s also too much of an ass to leave + really does enjoy beating the shit out of other creatures to give that up lmfaoooo the little fascist got his wings today!

- padmé reflects on how fucked up the war has made her and almost has a full moral turn moment but as per usual she fails to completely change, and her refusal to counsel anakin fucks shit up again lol

- [REDACTED] cameo!!!

- Vader and thrawn have the weirdest fucking bickering bastards vibes of all time. arguing and having side line convos and smirking and smiling at each other and Vader being the worlds biggest brat. if he couldn’t flatten your brain like a coke can with his mind he would not be scary. he’s 40 years old and acting like a school yard bully. hilarious

- thrawn is physically incapable of admitting he’s wrong

- karyn faro is eli’s replacement but there is faint weird sexist tint to it that there wasn’t with eli 🤨

[loveoaths]

why does vader’s commando fascist attack dog get so much damn screen time in this book. kimmund i am killing you with my bare hands

[loveoaths]

i have exactly three days to finish thrawn: heir to the empire 🫡

[loveoaths]

in alliances thrawn and padme are having lots of gay ass looks behind anakin’s back, and thrawn is staring HARD at anakin and padme and keeps talking about their “odd relationship” like yeah i know thrawn is being a nosy fucker bc he’s just like that but it’s even funnier to me if he’s 1) Feeling Some Kind of Way about it, 2) thought anakin was hot in a stupid way and now thinks padme is smart and Intriguing (thrawn doesn’t want to bone her but queerplatonic would be hilarious), 3) anakin keeps grabbing Thrawn’s hand and demanding thrawn protect padme while making intense eye contact with padme / there are multiple moments where they’re all sort of touching one person while wishing they were touching the other and it’s such a college gay thing to do that it’s making me crazy, 3) thrawn and padme get in a ship together and i know they’re about to have the weirdest convo ever

unpopular opinion but if thrawn was anidala’s third None of this would have happened

[loveoaths]

alright, i finished Star Wars: Thrawn: Ascendancy: Chaos Rising, and i have Thoughts. aside from the copious amount of colons in the title, it was… fine. it is the most Zahn of all the thrawn novels, and all my old criticisms of the thrawn novels are applicable here, too: no character development; same-old space mystery plot that ends in a naval battle with one or two creative maneuvers; women with the strangest character motivations you have EVER seen; etcetera.

i talk (read: rant) about this way too often, but i truly do feel that thrawn novels would benefit by letting him be wrong more often. he’s a military genius, but he sucks ar politics and people — so put him in situations that force him to engage with politics and people!!! he would be so much more interesting if we saw thrawn trying to apply his military know how to, say, a grounded chiss-regency era style plot. give me a thrawn wounded by a reckless battle maneuver and now stuck on mandatory medical leave somewhere and, OOPS WHAT’S THAT? ALL HIS POLITICAL ENEMIES FINALLY HAVE HIM IN THEIR TERRITORY AND STAGE A POLITICAL ASSAULT ON HIM? and now thrawn, mr genius mcsmarterson, has to lean on all those friends and allies he’s made to survive a political maelstrom. ar’alani, thalias, and samakro and their families are roped into keeping his stupid ass afloat and helping him play the political game, or at least shield him as much as they can from his own ineptitude. and at the same time thrawn is trying to sniff out enemy subversives influencing chiss society and planning a naval attack on the chiss fleet, and he has to juggle all of these problems while while also trying to remember which tiny fork to eat his salad with? and if he doesn’t pick the right fork the visiting syndicure will make him harikari on the SPOT???

now that would be a fun thrawn novel. hot damn.

[loveoaths]

the thrawn novels are so frustrating because they could be SO GOOD as proper mystery-action-military novels! but no. they’re 300 pages of slow plodding military tactics, the driest plot ever served, and a total lack of interiority or insight into thrawn as a character. in fact i’d argue that they’re purposefully structured to maintain distance between thrawn and the reader by only showing us other people’s pov on thrawn.

and on one hand i know that’s because if we were in thrawn’s head there’d zero suspense because he figures everything out immediately, but the solution to that is to just… put him in situations he can’t figure out so quickly, like, i dunno, the political situations he famously sucks at soooo bad. that would be fun! we’d get to be in his head and see how he tries to strategize surviving a dinner party like it’s a naval battle! interiority! character driven plot! we could have had it all!!

[loveoaths]

child thrawn is the biggest fucking nerd to ever exist. he is concerned about missing class. i just know he has a pocket protector.

starting thrawn: ascendancy solely to be a hater

[loveoaths]

“thrawn calls to me, across time and space” most evil bootycall FaceTime EVER!!!!

alright, it’s ahsoka time

- first things first: i’m glad she has slivers of her old personality still + she should be kissing hera. who said that

[loveoaths]

YEAH AHSOKA WHOOOP THAT RAGGED BITCH— woop NEVERMIND

morgan elsbeth. girl. you have GOT to trim them nails. you got sequoias on your damn fingernails girl! guess the hardwood shortage is over!

[loveoaths]

additional hilarity:

- anakin sounds like a surfer chad. like seriously he sounds like he is on the beach halfway through a doob. it’s incredible

- thrawn throws shade at anakin every .2 seconds and at Vader every .01 seconds

- anakin is constantly wondering if thrawn is condescending to him (he is) or if he just sounds like that (he does)

- thrawn reflects regularly on anakin’s, and later vader’s, total inability to not leave a trail of destruction in their wake, with a due amount of annoyance/awe

- padmé bribes the hot beefcakes with a necklace worth more than a year of their collective salaries and they’re all just like “yeah alright you can stick with us”

- killer concrete bugs. not explaining

- Vader has an attack dog stormtrooper who sucks just as bad as he does. it’s wild

- karyn faro doesn’t deserve any of this bullshit (except she does bc she’s a fascist 💜)

- thrawn is soooo proud of his shitty TIE defenders. meanwhile everyone else cannot stand them and think they are the WORST SHIPS EVER MADE. literally no one understands why he likes them, not even his own crew

- thrawn’s fleet is the Montessori School of the Imperial Navy and the rest of the Navy hates him for it

- faro is doing an amazing job at replacing eli. good job sweetie keep it up

- the author does karyn faro SO dirty by saying she can’t understand what thrawn is doing with the art so she gave up and “just enjoys looking at the pretty pictures” 🤨

thrawn: alliances is hilarious actually

shit that has happened so far:

- an extended scene wherein anakin confidently mispronounces Thrawn’s full name

- anakin is SO touchy about thrawn being smarter than him that he goes out of his way to prove he’s smart too, and, in the process, fucks up their plans. you know. like an idiot would

- r2 desperately wishes to commit murder, father! please him shoot the stinky evil men!

- padme has an (sadly off-screen) grand theft auto chase sequence with the cops and wins

- padme then hangs out in the woods with three hot bearded beefcakes

- Vader and Thrawn get in a bar fight wherein Thrawn douses a guy in vodka wet t-shirt style and Vader bitchslaps a man with his lightsaber hilt

- thrawnakin homoeroticism is advancing at an exponential and frankly dangerous rate

- Vader does the space racist “you’re maybe one of the good ones” to thrawn and then immediately takes it back lmfao

- anakin uses the force to make a dead man walk around and look alive and has a weird moment where he’s kind of into it, and seems to believe that if he had an hour to devote to playing with this dead guy he could figure out how to make him move, walk, and react like a real living person, which is as funny as it is chilly as it is wrong. bc anakin’s ass is NOT paying attention long enough to do anything of the sort!

- thrawn can’t stop himself from mentoring every pathetic man within 100 feet of him

- anakin thinks thrawn is cool and is big mad about it

[loveoaths]

UPDATE:

this book goes some places, huh.

things i like so far about thrawn: treason:

- thrawn cannot help collecting a little guy to mentor. it is one of his fatal flaws. this guy talks to anyone in a 50 mile radius like a kgb preschool teacher. “and where do you think the grysk hid the bombs, commander? why? can you show me how many bombs there are on your fingers?” knowing that he is one of the empire’s most dangerous assets is peak comedy. he’s just an autistic evil pre-k teacher (affectionate)

- grand admiral savit diagnosing thrawn with autism 30 seconds after meeting him

- faro. keep being yourself little lady.

- eli can NOT catch a break. every chiss and their mother has something shit to say about him, and he has to take it all on the chin. stay strong my country king

- eli’s default state being resentful and dogged determination until someone gives him an ounce of attention, at which point he does a full 180 into “i’d die for you” land

- hot blue girls and their sub-par blue boy compatriots

- domtop queen admiral ara’lani and her weird ass accent

[loveoaths]

- Vader likes Thrawn’s stupid little ships

- thrawn misses anakin and prefers him to Vader. Vader knows thrawn knows his secret and basically tells him to stop bringing it up because it upsets him and thrawn just says “ok”

- thrawn says “yes, my lord” way too sexily for a guy within six feet of a 7 foot death machine

- vader has THE most “gay white boy crossbred with a white mom yelling at a grocery store employee” mannerisms heretofore seen in a Star Wars novel. He literally wags a finger at thrawn like “naughty naughty” wtf just have sex already damn

- random chiss lore

- vader and thrawn tacitly admit they need each other. it’s gay as hell

the first half of this audiobook was more interesting to me, but that may be because i am exhausted now/fell asleep at some point and maybe missed a chunk of the plot. anyway. if you like thrawn, vader, and thrawnakin you’ll get something out of this

god the end of thrawn: alliances is so fucking dire

- thrawn predicts the clone betrayal and eagerly begs anakin to consider what [REDACTED] could mean but anakin, ONCE AGAIN LIKE WITH FIVES, doesn’t fucking listen

- thrawn tells anakin not to [REDACTED], anakin doesn’t listen, and padmé won’t argue with him because he’s acting like he did with the Tusken massacre and scaring her and she’s too scared/unnerved to speak up against him even with Thrawn’s support, which leads to anakin [REDACTED]ing and entire [REDACTED] and majorly fucking over [REDACTED]. and he isn’t even sorry about it because it’s what he decided to do, and if he admits he’s wrong here he has to admit he’s been wrong at other points and he refuses to do that

- anakin admits to himself a billion times that he is not a good jedi and ain’t there for the right reasons but he’s also too much of an ass to leave + really does enjoy beating the shit out of other creatures to give that up lmfaoooo the little fascist got his wings today!

- padmé reflects on how fucked up the war has made her and almost has a full moral turn moment but as per usual she fails to completely change, and her refusal to counsel anakin fucks shit up again lol

- [REDACTED] cameo!!!

- Vader and thrawn have the weirdest fucking bickering bastards vibes of all time. arguing and having side line convos and smirking and smiling at each other and Vader being the worlds biggest brat. if he couldn’t flatten your brain like a coke can with his mind he would not be scary. he’s 40 years old and acting like a school yard bully. hilarious

- thrawn is physically incapable of admitting he’s wrong

- karyn faro is eli’s replacement but there is faint weird sexist tint to it that there wasn’t with eli 🤨

[loveoaths]

y’all’s silence is DEAFENING but the EVIDENCE IS THERE!!!

- after discovering [REDACTED], padme and thrawn have an impassioned argument on a rooftop about justice and power and individualism, wherein padme is described as “desperate” for him to stay until she realizes he is as empty inside as a battle droid, “empty like a soldier”

- but before that they have a cool sexy little spy sequence where they have to rappel up a building

- thrawn uses anakin’s lightsaber and Thoughts Are Had about it

- for the entire book thrawn is telling anakin what should happen next and anakin is following bc he’s a soldier first and foremost, but when thrawn and padme team up they’re essentially equals. they take turns leading and asking for the other’s advice and can actually debate and challenge each other

- they embody opposite ends of the same “i will die for my people” coin: padme is all heart and determination and political savvy and tactics, while thrawn is cold pragmatism, ruthlessness, and utterly unsentimental. i think they should argue while listening to npr during long drives to visit anakin at his in-patient program 👍🏾

unpopular opinion but if thrawn was anidala’s third None of this would have happened

[loveoaths]

i lied i have more thoughts about this because it would be SO FUCKING EASY to tell a thrawn story with character movement!

thrawn does some wild ass shit in a battle and WINS, but is injured.

character question is introduced when aralani/other friends ask him why he’s like this, if he even knows why, and thrawn finds that none of his answers really satisfy them (or himself if he’s honest). but he blows them off. it doesn’t matter. he does what he does for the sake of the ascendancy. (the fact that his answers never seem to go deeper than that is unimportant)

furious with his behavior and answer, and more than a little perturbed by thrawn’s growing desire to preemptively strike out at alien “threats”, admiral aralani recommends (read: orders) thrawn to go on medical leave for three months. the fleet will survive without him, and he could use the rest. samakro, who was also injured during the mission and is privately rethinking his admiration for his commander, is also sent home on med leave. good. he needs a break from his crazy ass commander.

meanwhile, thurfian and other politicians with an axe to grind against thrawn realize that with thrawn off his ship and temporarily grounded, this is their chance to finally end his career. so far they’ve been facing thrawn on his turf — in military situations — and now it’s their turn to face thrawn in a homegame. thurfian plans some big important event with the Nine Family, and seeks to use the trappings of chiss culture to trap thrawn in a political blunder big enough to get the mitth to cast thrawn out and ruin his career, but not so large as to give one of the other noble families enough ammo to take the mitth down.

thrawn is deeply out of his element and, for the first time in many years, discomfort and out of his depth. he knows thurfian wants him out and that the aristocra has no love for him, but when he tries to apply his military mindset to dinner parties and opera box drama, it blows up in his face more.

samakro, who JUST wanted to enjoy med leave and NOT think about his goddamn commander for once, sees thrawn getting royally — and unwittingly — dunked on at a party, and despite his better instincts decides to step in and save him. realizing what thurfian is up to, samakro tells thrawn that the only way to survive this and not be ruined is to learn politics.

cue many character-centric and -driven chapters of samakro taking thrawn under his wing for once. as they work together to keep thrawn from shitting the proverbial bed, samakro and thrawn get closer (against sam’s will) and begin to see new sides of each other. it sucks because they’ve never had a conversation as People instead of as military men, and they both realize that they… really suck at this, huh.

up in space, somehow all the aliens thrawn has pissed off at some point in the past realize that he’s temporarily out of commission, and now is their best time to act against the Ascendancy! a bunch of fuck shit starts happening in space. aralani and the Springhawk crew are trying to put together the pieces of what’s happening. after being told (erroneously) that she’s nothing without thrawn, aralani feels motivated to solve this problem without him. also, she too wants is quietly nursing conflicting feelings over him as she reflects on his most recent bad behavior. she claims she’s worried about his health and doesn’t want to trouble him if she doesn’t have to, but really she fears that if he knew what was going on, he would use it to push the Ascendancy into war with [insert alien species]

back on the chiss homeworld: sam and thrawn are dodging an increasingly complicated political threats from thurfian et al, including all the great tropes such as: the chiss rumor mill claiming samakro slept his way to the top, that thrawn is an alien fetishist, that thrawn is crazy; thurfian hiring an escort to make thrawn look like an improper slut; the details of Thrawn’s bio family being plastered in the newsholos and dragged for filth; aspiring young heads of house trying to drag thrawn into all of their stupid little reindeer games; etcetera. at the same time, thrawn struggles with his feelings of inadequacy/wonders about the innate barrier between him and others, and realizes that he does not know samakro as a person, doesn’t know how to, or if he even wants to. meanwhile samakro knows for a fact he doesn’t want to know thrawn as a person (or does he???) and is very happy keeping an emotional and personal distance between them (or IS he????) this section also digs into the question of *why* thrawn cares about the Ascendancy so much, why he cares about rules and the military, why he would do anything to protect a homeworld that has no place for him…. while also unraveling sam’s backstory and why he’s so distrusting of thrawn and politicians and, well, basically everyone.

thrawn realizes he hates being grounded. he doesn’t know how to be a person. he keeps illegally contacting aralani and the spring hawk and trying to insert himself into what they’re doing because he’s going crazy down here. aralani misreads his stir craziness as a lack of faith in her abilities, and shuts him down more harshly than she means to. she tells him that if he spent more time handling his own business and cleaning up his own political messes he’d be up here with her. their relationship is strained. thrawn continues obsessively looking for news of the springhawk and the fleet. at some point thrawn manages to win a naval battle for aralani while still being grounded and AT A DINNER PARTY, and aralani knows she should be grateful for the assistance, but finds she’s just bitter and angry with him.

blah blah alien intrigue keeps building blah blah

in a moment of weakness (maybe after thrawn faces the young nobles trying to bully him in something dumb like a rich person drinking contest and poker faces his way to winning despite being so drunk he’s on the verge of needing his stomach pumped and Sam has to drag him back to his bed and share it with thrawn to make sure he doesn’t DIE IN HIS SLEEP) thrawn tells Sam what aralani asked him: why is he like this? why is he alone? why does he understand everything and nothing all at once? it is a horribly human moment from thrawn… and after putting him to bed, Sam reacts to it poorly. he realizes that despite all his griping otherwise, that he’s always preferred thinking of thrawn as an organic machine. intelligent and bloodless. not without flaw, but without the things that make people get stupid. seeing that thrawn is a person doesn’t make him feel better at all, in fact he feels worse. he’s SCARED to follow a thrawn who can look sad and feel lonely, and when Sam gets scared, he gets angry. their relationship becomes strained and distant again, and more fuck shit happens as a result.

blah blah more alien intrigue ramping up blah blah blah

the central questions winding through the narrative thus far — why is thrawn like this? why does he care about the ascendancy so much? does he actually care, or is this just the closest he can come to real emotions? does that matter if he’s doing a good thing for “selfish” or “unfeeling” reasons? is there any one right way to be a person, or are we all just doing our level best to get through the day and mean something to somebody, anybody, so we can be loved? are love and duty the same? — are slowly and messily answered for all of our characters in the final chunk. aralani regains her trust in herself and thrawn by extension, and reminds herself that even when she doesn’t like what he does, he trusts WHY he does it: for the good of the ascendancy. samakro accepts (mostly) that his anger towards thrawn is really fear rooted in his need for a command structure, and he decides that thrawn is more of a “real person” than most of the aristocra. those people are driven by fear of the unknown to reject change; thrawn is enticed by the unknown and seeks order, often for order’s sake. thrawn is a good man. and thrawn, privately, must finally admit to himself that maybe he isn’t doing all this just for the Ascendancy… maybe, just maybe, there is a part of him that enjoys power, enjoys control, enjoys feeling like he understands people for once, and the only way he can understand them is through warfare. his revelation is as troubling as it is freeing. he also realizes that ignoring his own personhood, and that of others, had become a coping mechanism that helped him cope with not being able to understand people’s emotional motivations/feeling disconnected from the world around him. he understands assets and acquisitions, but not the full range of emotions present in deep relationships. part of him sees art and war as his way of relating to people; some of the warmest feelings he’s ever felt have been when facing worthy enemies like yiv the conqueror, or in the afterglow of a battle. what does that say about him? are people right to be scared of him…?

thurfian coordinates a situation to trap thrawn between impossible choices. like, idk, choosing between a major space battle and a major trial to determine Thrawn’s worthiness to continue serving. somehow Sam uses whatever the fuck he’s learned here to help thrawn out, giving him the opportunity to take a shuttle back to the Springhawk so Thrawn go kick alien butt, but doing so will cost Sam his career. Thrawn’s lesson comes full circle and he realizes that samakro cares about him as a person and a commander even if Sam would rather get dropkicked out an airlock than admit that. Thrawn instead tells samakro to take the shuttle to the Springhawk. Thrawn will stay behind and face the political enemy, which he’s finally realized is just as if not more dangerous than the external alien force brewing outside. He gives Sam a plan — because of course thrawn always has a plan — and a way to reach thrawn here on the ground. Sam asks thrawn why he’s doing this. Thrawn tells him that a good commander does not needlessly risk their subordinates’ lives. he used to mean that only meant their literal lives, but now he sees how his behavior has affected samakro’s political life and military career. He understands why sam is angry with him. He also tells sam that just as sam has taught him much about politics, thrawn has taught sam much about facing [insert alien species here]… and perhaps, over the past three months, they’ve both taught one another much about trust. (plus, he’ll be listening in and in constant communication with sam during the space battle, bc thrawn is Like That) sam rolls his eyes, breaking their heartwarming moment of mutual connection, then races off to go blow up some aliens while thrawn attends the most harrowing dinner party/trial/whatever of all time

space battle happens and aralani gets her faith back in herself and trusts her own judgement again

somehow the alien intrigue and thurfian’s political plots dovetail, and thrawn puts all of this together during the dinner party he’s at, delivering crucial information in the nick of time. Sam and Ar’alani blow the fuck out of the alien enemy and save the day, yeehaw!

thrawn is cleared from med leave and returns to the Springhawk. aralani sees how much he missed the ship and warfare and, while still having her concerns about his aggressiveness, sees that she was right to put her trust in this man. he is a good man, and he doesn’t deserve the slander he’s put up with over the past three months. she tells him she trusts him and is proud to serve beside him, and their strained relationship resolves. thrawn thanks her, then looks a little lonely when he tells her that samakro would not agree. she tells him to shut the fuck up; samakro is hard to read but he trusts thrawn a lot and thinks highly of him now, even if he’s annoyed by Thrawn sometimes. thrawn: “I get that a lot.” she tells him that he may be mitth, but his true family, who he is really loyal to, is his ship and his crew, and they to him. thrawn doesn’t believe her, until —

thrawn reunites with his crew and is startled by their overwhelmingly positive welcome back. like aralani said: these are his people. for the first time in the entire novel, thrawn looks like he’s in his element again. he accepts that he is made for this: for war and blood and hard decisions, not politics and softness. he chooses war because it allows other people softness. in private, he relays this to aralani, and this time she accepts his answer. even as she smiles at him, thrawn knows he’s lying to her: he knows, now, that he’s also attracted to power, and the last three months have taught him that the aristocra are too powerful and are as likely to destroy the Ascendancy as an outside invasion; that they have in fact been defanging and condemning the Ascendancy to a slow death for decades, but he was too blind to see it. but now he sees it. now he knows. and just as he is committed to defend the Ascendanxy from outside threat without mercy, so too has he begun considering how to deal with the problem of the aristocra… and as he ponders, we CUT TO:

THE END!

alright, i finished Star Wars: Thrawn: Ascendancy: Chaos Rising, and i have Thoughts. aside from the copious amount of colons in the title, it was… fine. it is the most Zahn of all the thrawn novels, and all my old criticisms of the thrawn novels are applicable here, too: no character development; same-old space mystery plot that ends in a naval battle with one or two creative maneuvers; women with the strangest character motivations you have EVER seen; etcetera.

i talk (read: rant) about this way too often, but i truly do feel that thrawn novels would benefit by letting him be wrong more often. he’s a military genius, but he sucks ar politics and people — so put him in situations that force him to engage with politics and people!!! he would be so much more interesting if we saw thrawn trying to apply his military know how to, say, a grounded chiss-regency era style plot. give me a thrawn wounded by a reckless battle maneuver and now stuck on mandatory medical leave somewhere and, OOPS WHAT’S THAT? ALL HIS POLITICAL ENEMIES FINALLY HAVE HIM IN THEIR TERRITORY AND STAGE A POLITICAL ASSAULT ON HIM? and now thrawn, mr genius mcsmarterson, has to lean on all those friends and allies he’s made to survive a political maelstrom. ar’alani, thalias, and samakro and their families are roped into keeping his stupid ass afloat and helping him play the political game, or at least shield him as much as they can from his own ineptitude. and at the same time thrawn is trying to sniff out enemy subversives influencing chiss society and planning a naval attack on the chiss fleet, and he has to juggle all of these problems while while also trying to remember which tiny fork to eat his salad with? and if he doesn’t pick the right fork the visiting syndicure will make him harikari on the SPOT???

now that would be a fun thrawn novel. hot damn.