#link made a bleach/vinegar mixture when he was younger and attributes his iron digestive system to that

[freakinflipflop]

So does anyone want to hear about a BOTW/TOTK Home Depot AU? Haha who am I kidding of course you do.

So @teehee-vibes and I have been talking SO much about BOTW’s champions bc we both care them so so much

And it was late and I had just gotten home from 3 days of driving with my family for a road trip so I was SO so tired. And I was thinking about real life/store owner AUs and what types of stores would be the most canon-compliant. Bc you know, you can make something fun out of anything, but it’s always extra fun to see how you can shape AUs around canon.

And I had come up with the idea of Link running an oddities/exotic goods business that he stocks with stuff from his international adventures, and moved on to Revali next (bc he’s my favorite :] rito so so cool)

I thought archery store at first but like. That feels so much more like Harth (and Teba?)’s thing, so I was like gotta find something different. and all I could think was. he has the whole wind thing. he sells fans. control the wind.

so yeah I sent that to TV and promptly passed out

Woke up the next morning to a response from TV saying “Can’t believe Revali monitors the ceiling fan section at Home Depot”

And then we fleshed out an entire Home Depot AU around it. Including:

Current and next-gen champions all have their own jobs in the store corresponding with their talents/abilities/vibes in the games

Revali gives Tulin a phone and signs him up for Twitter at age 10

Revali frequently livetweets about coworker interactions (especially about Teba knowing about nothing other than the woodworking section)

Link, the store’s janitor, yearns for a position in the garden department

Kass invented the home depot theme

Link also knows how the entire store runs but is relegated to janitor work by their boss

Their boss is King Rhoam

He forces Zelda to work in the electronics section and keeps her from her true passion (power tools)

Ganondorf runs a SECOND, COMPETING home depot (or Lowes) and forces all of the OG champions to be transferred to his store. Link, who knows how the whole store works, has to train the new champions to take over the old champions’ jobs. The old champions are doing a shit job on purpose at GanonDepot. Revali vaguetweets about his boss.

Link puts anything in his mouth. he gets less consequences to this than he should. (bit started when we talked about his garden department dreams and how he can perfectly tell soil’s pH but only by putting it in his mouth)

Riju and Tulin both get jobs at the Home Depot after the OG champions are transferred through the power of nepotism and lying on their resumes. Riju feels bad about it. Tulin Does Not.

Anyway yeah I can and will post more about this. This is only a taste of the WONDERFUL AU that has consumed me and @teehee-vibes‘s DMs for like a week and a half. Revali also works in paint mixing as well as the fans btw

Edit: check rbs for some screenshots of TV and my conversations about this AU lmao some are worldbuilding-y most are shitposts