#ling (+lan fan) vs bradley was also very good

[thatmightyheart]

hello! I see you're an fma fan. Welcome to the club we have snacks. now the important question.

ling yao?

[big thumbs up] i love ling! i think he might have been the first fma character i doodled lol

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 23

Last time: Ling debated leadership philosophies with Bradley, we got a flashback to Scar’s bro, and Winry was Good. Onwards!

Episode 23 - “Girl on the Battlefield” Run for it, Ling! Looking a little worse for wear, Ling’s booking it through the streets as some very confused civilians look on, and Bradley gripes that “that reckless fool” is beginning to annoy him. Uh, I assume that when you tell Gluttony to follow his scent that you aren’t going to travel together? Even the most basic NPC might be curious about seeing their Fuhrer run through the streets with a Goth. In the alley Ed’s still comforting Winry as some cops clean up the rubble, he hands off the pistol to one of them and asks for Winry (still wearing his coat, daw) to be taken somewhere safe, he’s gonna go help Al out with Scar and NOPE NOPE NOPE [Ed]: “I’m sorry… When this is over, I’ll explain everything.” NOPE NOPE NOPE Boy you just guaranteed something bad is gonna happen to one of you two, do you even realize you’re in an anime? What, are you gonna ask for a picture of her “for good luck”? For Leto’s sake, Winry’s lingering grasp on Ed’s arm as he walks away… you turn around right now, buster! Don’t you DARE let things end on this note! [Winry]: “Why… why is waiting the only thing I can do?” Ok, first of all you are FAR from the mere damsel in distress, Winry. Second of all, as much as it would cheapen the whole “Winry is the creator of the Blonde Trio” thing from last episode, I can’t help but think it would be SO COOL for Winry to use this incident as a drive to learn Alchemy, or build an Iron Woman suit to help out in battle/rescue. Roy and Riza are still fiddling with the radio as reports of Winry going to Central Command come through, Riza’s off to support them in the field. Roy takes a moment to say they’ll meet up at an abandoned house outside of town and give her the address- ha, yeah no. This is Colonel Mustang we’re talking about, as if it could be that simple. Calling it now, despite Riza insisting he stay out of the field, the “address” Roy just gave her is secret orders to do something or other, and of course she won’t read them until after everything’s over. Yeesh, Ling’s still running, with Gluttony keeping close tabs on him. Aaand either he or Lan Fan are bleeding a fair amount. Bradley’s keeping up with the red trail, at the sound of an explosion just gripes about “Scar, again” and tells Gluttony to go deal with it. Ok, so it’s Lan Fan’s who’s bleeding out, she’s trying to get Ling to drop her, arguing that as much as he holds to “A king needs his people” that they’d be just as lost without him. Their clan versus one injured bodyguard? To Lan Fan there’s no choice, for the greater good someone must be left beNONONONO. Young lady you put that shuriken down this instant! Ling, stop her!

Oh for Leto’s sake, now we’ve cut away from that awfulness to Scar vs Al, who is an absolute BEAST when it comes to combat now. Earthbending giant stone hands, all Scar can do is keep jumping back and pity Al for the harm Alchemy has caused him. But Al rejects his pity, argues that it was through Alchemy that Ed saved his life, and to reject his Alchemy-supported form (but isn’t rejecting it kinda the whole point of the show? Eh, whatever) would be to reject what saved his life and the efforts of Ed. Scar’s response is Sudden Steam Cloud and an attempted sneak attack, but Ed enters the fray. Alright, time to get this battle going in earnest! [Gluttony]: “Oooh! I found you!” Ok, still of two minds about Scar and what should happen to him, but damn me if this isn’t a perfect Enemy Mine scenario. Oh hey, is this the first time that the Elric Brothers have seen Gluttony? While they’re reacting to seeing yet another Goth, Scar lays the smackdown. Alright, let’s- Cut back to the Xing alleyway? Bradley still walking along the blood trail? But what about Lan Fan? Nevermind, back to the train depot where Scar’s Hand O’ Doom did some harm to Gluttony, but then Headbutt. And a shoulder charge right into a shipping crate, good Leto. Then back to Bradley with his now [hurried footsteps] Then Gluttony getting double-kicked by the Elric Brothers to Scar’s shock (Enemy Mine, Enemy Mine, Enemy Mine…) Then Bradley turning the corner and drawing his sword What Lan Fan’s blood-covered hand Bradley shocked What No Ling, why? Why didn’t you stop her? Wait what ok what the Leto is going on now? Shirtless!Ling has just jumped out of a storm drain and holy crap he’s all pirate badass now with scimitar in his teeth and a grenade shoved down Gluttony’s gullet. But, Lan Fan… Ok, have to set that aside for now, the grenade was brutally effective against Gluttony… for just a few seconds, his upper body’s already reforming. Ling shouts for some strong cable from the Brothers, not sure if tying him up is going to be all that effective. Actually, it’s very effective; Gluttony’s regeneration is trying to counteract the pressure of the cables, meaning unless he can break the metal (which is still a possibility) then Ling’s gone and caught himself! But he still had to leave- Oh. OH. Oh my Leto that is disturbing and genius at the same time. Also, that poor dog! Seriously, dogs have had a real hard time in this show, haven’t they? [Bradley]: “That was well played, girl.” Ok, so… Lan Fan is a badass. But maybe you should get that stump looked at? Please? Up top Scar’s shocked at the revelation of a Homunculus- right, sorry buddy, but you’re still a murderer, so Riza’s gonna kneecap you while driving up in the getaway vehicle. Gotta say Riza, the white coat, glasses, and hair down look is good on you! Ah right, their Conspiracy means they have to pretend not to know it’s Riza as the MPs run up, they need to trust Roy on letting this Mysterious Stranger get away with Ling and the captured Gluttony. In the meantime… Alright Scar, just stand down and what the oh my Leto NOT NOW! I wanted you to come back to the show, little girl, but this really isn’t the time! Ok ok, we can still salvage this, she’s come all this way to see Ed so… oh, no. She’s looking for a short Alchemist in a red coat! Winry! Winry, get over here! Well ok, she’s protecting her “savior’s servant” now, deems it time to retreat so she good Leto blows up two train cars in a matter of seconds with Alchemy. Note to self: do not make May mad. Damnit damnit damnit, things were going so well but now the music’s all oppressive, Scar’s gotten away again. Meanwhile Riza’s heading to the safehouse when Ling says they need to go back for Lan Fan, Riza says ok as long as it’s quick AAAAARGH welp we’re boned, Bradley saw them and through Riza’s disguise. So much for the Conspiracy. Bradley: “That woman driving… I’m sure she’s Mustang’s. I’m tired of playing games with that upstart.” AAAARGH oh my gosh how are we only halfway through the episode AAAAARGH daw that’s a cute picture of Lan Fan eating AAAAARGH oh wait she’s armless now so she can’t even do that AAAARGH oooh is she gonna get an automail arm? Away from the depot May is patching up Scar’s leg as he broods about Winry, how no matter what he does hatred keeps spreading. The MPs are searching, so they start sneaking away… but where’s Shao May? Pffft! Looks like Al picked her up from the battle, didn’t want to leave the poor thing in danger. Said poor little panda bear tries biting back, but Soul Armor, so no. You’ve got a new master now! The Elric Brothers have been brought to Central by the MPs, where Winry’s waiting… along with Bradley. Whuh oh. [Bradley]: “That’s a nice, honest friend you’ve got there. Make sure you both take good care of her.”

Wow. Subtle. Aaaand now it’s time to tell Winry everything. Yay. Aw, Winry. It’s not selfish to want your parents to have come back. And don’t beat yourself up over waiting. Aw! Ok, that is adorable, getting a call from Rush Valley about how everyone misses her (work). But horrid flashbacks to needy retail customers aside, this is just what the doctor ordered. [Winry]: “I’m sorry… I’ll be back home soon.” (Somewhere Pinako looks up sharply and snarls “Excuse me?!”) “Just hold on… I won’t be much longer. I’ll help everyone… Thank you all.” Sorry Ed, but you’ve gotta let your mechanic get back to work. And hey, her heading back to Rush Valley means being away from Bradley’s grasp! We’re giving goodbyes at the train station, promises to take care of their automail… come on boy, spit it out! Aw, don’t chicken out on me now Ed, you turn around and- [Ed]: “The next time I make you cry, I hope they’ll be tears of joy! And Al and I will be back in our normal bodies, and I’ll make you cry out of sheer happiness! That’s a promise!” Heh! So while Winry does have to see the backs of two people she loves again (Al bumping Ed with his elbow and Shorty yapping at him), it’s on a much better note. Maybe…? [Winry]: “All this time, have I been… falling for him?” YYYYYYAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS [So Tephi actually stopped by right when this scene happened, she’s cackling over my shoulder. I’m too giddy about this to complain, moving on.] Hey Roy! You gonna take the Elrics to the safehouse now? Oh hey Doc, what’s your role in the Conspiracy now? Ah right, Lan Fan and her missing arm. Yikes, no anesthesia? I know this isn’t a hospital but dang, Lan Fan I’m so sorry. So is Ed, but Ling shuts him down, saying he was the one who suggested this. Aw dude, please stop beating yourself up. Hey, she’s awake! And got the idea to use her arm as bait from when Ed did it fighting them, hah! Still, hard to be a bodyguard when missing a limb. Perhaps a certain mechanic could help you out? Come on Ling, get up and check on your lady friend! Or chat with Roy, that works for now. Alright, good to see everyone getting along. Now to deal with the Goth Ball you have in the side room- [Roy]: “He and his friends appear to have connections among some of the military’s senior staff.” [Ling]: “Just some, you say? It goes far deeper than that. Your Fuhrer, King Bradley…” *Open Eyes of Seriousness* [Ling]: “I believe it’s possible that he’s a Homunculus too.” Here we go, reveal time! Ling recounts how he saw an Uroboros tattoo under Bradley’s eyepatch, working with Gluttony against him and Lan Fan. But Ling doesn’t get the same “Goth-Sense” from Bradley that comes from Gluttony, and the others argue that Goths can’t reproduce and he has a son. But Doc says that the kid is adopted. No direct blood relation. Roy says regardless of him being monster or human, it just makes it easier to kick him out of the boss’ chair. For now, it’s time to interrogate Gluttony, then get his Stone to heal Havoc/be taken back to Xing/heal the Elric Brothers… aw man, it’s Ruby Madness.

Come on guys, it’s a Philosopher’s Stone! Horrific origins aside, it can work for all of you, just set up a schedule and- Uh oh. Gluttony just overheard “Colonel Mustang”, recognizes the name as the one that killed Lust. And he Bulks out and oh good Leto what’s wrong with your stomach buddy, eyes do not go there. Fellas? You may want to ru GAH what the Leto was that?!

[fullmetalirin]

Fullmetal Alchemist OG vs. Brotherhood: On Endings

One more post before the final analysis: as I compared the beginnings of the series, I'll also compare the endings. The ending can tell us a lot about a series and the author's intentions. What things did they want to resolve and how, and what did they want to leave us with?

Fullmetal Alchemist

Let's review the ending of OG first. OG had a climactic final confrontation, but it was a pretty restrained affair: Ed vs. Dante alone, and then Ed vs. Envy alone. It was very personal in nature, with Ed fighting alone to rescue his brother and discover the truth behind the homunculi and the Philosopher's Stone.

The true confrontation was philosophical in nature. Dante deconstructs the guiding principle of the series up to that point, the law of equivalent exchange, and reveals it to be a lie: there's no guarantee that hard work will pay off. There is no justice, she tells us; there's just us. The hero is stripped of his moral certainty and shaken to his core, but stubbornly clings to some hope that there is still some justice in the world. Hohenheim offers a parting gift: that Dante may be right, but by freeing yourself from the logic of equivalent exchange, you can also gain something for nothing.

For our climactic belly-of-the-whale moment, Ed straight-up dies. Al overcomes the hesitance and impotence that has weighed on him all series, and uses the immense power he's been granted to sacrifice himself for Ed's true resurrection in a mirror of Ed's own sacrifice for him at the start of the series.

Ed refuses to accept this. He wants to have it all. But he cannot get it: though he partially restores Al, he himself passes through the gateway, leaving the brothers separated. But meanwhile, the background characters who never bought into this nonsense in the first place are doing great. Rose is healing, Izumi is willing to teach Al, and Mustang's rebellion is a success.

It's a bittersweet ending: the heroes survive, gaining some of the things they sought but losing others. We are left uncertain about their fate, encouraged to reflect on what we've seen and what they've learned. It's a contemplative ending, meant to stick with you: it's on the audience to write the ending of the story, through living their own lives.

Now we'll compare that to…

FMA Brotherhood

Let's catch you up on what happened in the intervening time in Brotherhood real quick:

WINRY FINDS OUT SCAR KILLS HER PARENTS OH NO WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO oh nothing because Ed talks down the hysterical woman. What a relief!

LAN FAN LOSES HER ARM OH NO oh wait we have super prosthetics so she just gets automail and she's fine.

GLUTTONY SWALLOWS EVERYONE but it's okay they get out fine and also Ed finds something useful in there so actually this was good for the heroes.

BRADLEY TAKES RIZA HOSTAGE but does not actually kill her or anyone and Riza is still able to leak information to Mustang and escape when it actually matters so this is totally pointless except for sidelining the female action hero for a while.

FATHER SHOWS UP OH NO WHAT'S HE GONNA DO oh he's going to tell Ed he needs him alive for his plan and for some reason he can't just beat Ed into a coma so actually Ed is free to act with total impunity.

BUT OH WAIT HE TURNS LING INTO A HOMUNCULUS except actually Ling is still alive and will end up totally fine.

BRADLEY TAKES WINRY HOSTAGE WHAT'S HE GONNA MAKE ED DO oh he's just going to tell Ed to keep doing what he was already doing. Okay then.

Mustang was apparently friends with Riza's dad and Riza has the secrets of flame alchemy tattooed on her back, because this is shonen and everything has to have a convoluted explanation.

Envy frees Kimblee and makes him track down Scar who is also with Marcoh because adding more characters into this tangled mess is definitely a good idea.

Pride invites the Elrics into his house and Bradley shows up to menace them but not actually do anything. Pride continues to act like the most precocious kid ever I presume because he gets off on it? Is he already planning on jumping to Ed at this point?

Ed meets Olivier and is immediately imprisoned so Ed can twiddle his thumbs while we watch Olivier take over the plot for the next few episodes.

SHOCKING TWIST that Amestris was formed for the purpose of transmuting everyone into a Philosopher's Stone which is so absurdly over-the-top I cannot even

WHY DOES FATHER LOOK LIKE HOHENHEIM??? Because he tricked Hohenheim into giving him his face and actually Hohenheim is totally innocent because why have complex morally gray characters when we can atomize any possibility of that instead. (Also Father's original form looks absolutely nothing like how historical homunculi are drawn or described except that he's in a flask, even though homunculi's flasks are obviously artificial wombs and not literally part of their bodies why do I need to explain this.)

After several episodes of wheel-spinning the characters suddenly decide it's time for the finale so a hideously convoluted multi-front battle ensues.

They're fighting Envy and SUDDENLY RIZA POINTS A GUN AT MUSTANG OH NO CLIFFHANGER HAS ENVY TRICKED HIM no Envy turned into Mustang for some reason and Riza saw through it because the villains spent all their competence points killing Hughes.

Mustang curbstomps Envy because he's a Gary Stu but Ed doesn't want him to be consumed by vengeance because it was… so much better when he sadistically burned a homunculi to death for no reason at all?

RIZA'S THROAT IS SLIT AND MUSTANG HAS TO DO HUMAN TRANSMUTATION oh never mind she gets healed by the cavalry BUT SUDDENLY THE HOMUNCULI SHOW UP AND FORCE HIM TO DO HUMAN TRANSMUTATION ANYWAY… somehow… and OH NO HE GOES BLIND but he can still fight because he's a Gary Stu so it doesn't actually matter. Nothing ever actually matters.

Up to and including…

FMA Brotherhood Episode 61: "He Who Would Swallow God"

THE BAD GUY WINS! FATHER ACTIVATES HIS TRANSMUTATION CIRCLE! HE BECOMES GOD! ROCKS FALL, EVERYBODY DIES! Except oops, nevermind, turns out Hohenheim spilled the souls of his Philosopher's Stone all around the country offscreen and now they, for some reason, are helping the guy who helped trap them and destroy their country at no benefit to themselves. Somehow, they were not absorbed by the transmutation and can somehow free the souls of Amestrians. Somehow.

Seriously. This series has always been careful to surgically remove real tension from the story, but now it’s just atomizing its desecrated corpse. Everything, up to and including the villain succeeding at all his goals, will be reversed on a dime so the heroes can win. There is no longer any possibility that the heroes might get anything other than an absolutely perfect victory. This is terrible storytelling. It’s sacrificing all narrative coherence on the altar of one cool scene.

Ed shows up for five seconds to yell at Father but is useless because Father deactivates alchemy. This is followed by several minutes of Hohenheim ranting about how awesome he is and how important this confrontation is to him personally because why focus on the protagonist when we can spend all that time on his awful deadbeat dad.

Hohenheim's Stone is activated by the circle of the moon's shadow. Sure. Why not. Nothing else in this show has ever made sense, why start now.

Ed looks on in awe as Hohenheim exposits on the exact effects this will have on Father. Father shoots an energy blast at them and Hohenheim deflects it. Another energy blast, this time May deflects it because alkahestry still works and is perfectly suited to this because it's magic. Another energy blast, and Hohenheim blocks it again. But oh no, he's losing strength, so the protagonists play support for him.

Then we cut to Scar vs. Bradley. Bradley asks why he's using alchemy if that's against his religion, and asks if he's abandoned God. Scar does not answer.

How is Bradley defeated? He's blinded by the sun when the eclipse finishes and that negates the Ultimate Eye.

Seriously? Seriously? HE WEARS AN EYEPATCH. IF HE CAN SEE THROUGH AN EYEPATCH WHY CAN'T HE SEE THROUGH BLINDING LIGHT. Also how has this never happened in any of the other daytime fights.

Scar gets one hit on him and that kills him when the immortal legion which is explicitly made the exact same way as him have multiple lives because what is consistency. But what's this, Bradley manages to stab him in his last moments! Oh wow, is a major character actually going to die in the final battle??? No.

Then Bradley talks for a straight minute about pretentious nonsense. Wow, and here I was thinking OG had too much talking.

Then what Tumblr has helpfully informed me is our great disabled WOC representation sits there and demands to know if Hitler loved his wife, then she helps Scar over to his transmutation circle so he can learn the very important lesson that it's wrong for him to hate white people so now he's going to save them. Thanks, brown people! Still no answer to Bradley's questions. If they're answered earlier, you are free to tell me about it.

Bradley… ages to death? Why?

Alchemy is powered by tectonic movement, apparently. That is a reasonable but incredibly boring answer that does nothing to explain why soul goop empowers alchemy. (Also I guess they're slowing down the planet's rotation by doing this?)

Alchemy's reactivated so Ed finally does something and it's to… smash Father's throne. Wow. Great contribution, hero. Father throws another energy blast at him and Hohenheim defends.

"When will he run out of energy?" "I don't know!" And this is why I don't like Brotherhood homunculi. There's no sense of progress or scale. They're boss monsters who are always exactly as strong until they suddenly die. The battle lasts as long as the author wants it to.

Ed makes one substantial attack on Father who then shrugs it off.

Mustang is sad he's useless. CAN'T RELATE.

Ed asks what the homunculi's motivation is and gets a non-answer.

Kimblee is still alive in Pride because NO ONE IN THIS SHOW CAN EVER DIE. He nosells the soulstorm because he's just so special. He's mad that Pride is lowering himself to entering a human because for some reason he cares deeply about Pride's honor. Then Ed… turns himself into a Philosopher's Stone so he can enter Pride's mind, kills Pride, and turns him into a human baby? That's bizarre even by this show's standards.

Honestly that whole thing is so random. Pride does absolutely nothing during the battle with Father, then all of a sudden he grabs Ed and everyone else is like "sure whatever we'll leave you behind with the supermonster" because they've read the script, then Ed beats him in five seconds. This really looks to me like the author was going "Crap, crap, Ed hasn't beaten a single villain the whole story, quick, give him some token contribution."

FMA Brotherhood Episode 62: "A Fierce Counterattack"

Why does Trisha's soul have giant boobs in the OP.

Father is just absorbing people directly now because suddenly that doesn't need a circle.

Hohenheim leads the charge and gives a hero rant.

Father frees the souls in his Philosopher's Stone to make zombies. Why has no one ever done this before. What is even the point of this.

Izumi is horrified when a baby touches her because this show just loves hammering in how she's a frail woman traumatized by her inability to have babies.

Father uses Hyper Beam.

We spend another age talking about exactly who's going to go to the final battle. Olivier has to stay behind because she has a broken arm but the blind guy gets to go on ahead.

The Hyper Beam atomized half the building but Al and Hohenheim were somehow able to block it without dying. Ed's automail has taken damage but he can still move it because injuries are for losers.

Father smacks Hohenheim but he's still not dead.

Mustang burns the entire courtyard because what are power limits. (He explicitly says that actually every other time he's used fireballs he's been holding himself back, because this show just cannot stop escalating the Stu Power.) Riza is helping him aim because women get support roles. Mustang preens about clappy transmutation being awesome. Why does he even need to do that? He already has a transmutation circle on his gloves.

Then it's just three straight minutes of everyone blasting Father while Father just stands there looking grouchy. Greed attacks him and Father drops the shield to try to absorb him, but it doesn't matter because he can still raise walls at will without even clapping.

It looks like they might actually get a hit but Father pulls an energy blast out of nowhere. It destroys Ed's arm but somehow not any other part of him. Why doesn't he use his soul drain again? Why is anyone engaging in melee attacks against him when they have a whole battalion of soldiers to nuke him from orbit?

And now Ed and Ed alone is conveniently impaled just enough to immobilize him without giving him life-threatening injuries. This is so Alphonse can make the big sacrifice of repaying his soul to restore Ed's arm, because Truth is just such a nice person who trades so fairly in this. Somehow no one is able to attack Father during the long time they spend discussing this as he slooowly lumbers forward. Where did Greed go? His whole thing is invulnerability, he should totally still be mobile.

Shouldn't Ed's arm be mismatched on account of him losing it when he was way younger? And the fact he has automail welded into his shoulder? But the arm has just grown over that and somehow works fine. I guess Truth took care of that too because he's just so nice.

Ed screams a lot because that's his only emotion.

Yeah Greed is there, just watching this. So is everyone else, including the soldiers.

FMA Brotherhood Episode 63: "The Other Side of the Gateway"

And Ed is just punching him now. Because it's not like this series has "alchemist" in the title or anything. Everyone just stands there.

Then despite being weaker than he was before, Father is somehow able to pull out another nuke and then move super fast to grab Greed. Greed nobly sacrifices himself to kill Father because only homunculi are allowed the sweet release of death. But he still gets to talk with Ling for like a solid minute first about how totally irresistible Father's pull is.

We get a Sad Flashback Montage. Altogether I think it's longer than Al's sacrifice, and more people look sad. This show just has no concept of pacing. Putting noble sacrifices back-to-back diminishes the effect of each.

Then an extended sequence where Father gets a dressing-down by Truth. Last-minute contrived sympathetic moment where he's terrified of being reabsorbed by the Gate because he just wanted to experience the world. Too little too late, show. You cannot fix your complete failure to humanize him at all during the story with a last-minute reversal. Not every villain needs a humanizing sympathetic last moment. Sometimes it's better to just let them own their villainy. Like Dante!

(And given the way this show has handled previous villains I also get the impression we are supposed to laugh at how pathetic and scared he is, which makes me profoundly uncomfortable.)

Then everyone hands Ed a bunch of ways he can get Al back and he nobly refuses them and I'm sorry but I hate this. Him turning down one thing is just barely acceptable, but this utter deluge of possibilities just turns it into a farce for me. OH NO HOWEVER WILL WE SOLVE THIS TRAGEDY well actually there are a ton of solutions but we're going to turn them down to rationally come to the objectively perfect solution. There's no desperation, no tension or emotional weight. Also HE TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE USED HOHENHEIM, LET THAT DICKBAG BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING.

(Also, how on Earth is a Philosopher's Stone – a zillion lives – for one life an equivalent exchange?)

So instead Ed gives up his ability to use alchemy. Credit where credit's due, he does bring up Nina during his long, long speech about how very humble he is, which is a good callback. (Even though he really doesn't have that much reason to remember her in this continuity.)

TRUTH: That is the right answer, alchemist. You have beaten me.

And this is where it really clicked for me. This isn't about sacrifices, or moral choices, or tradeoffs. This is about winning. It's the gamer mentality: there is a perfectly optimal solution that will solve all your problems, and you just have to keep trying until you find it. Anything you lose you can get back if you just try harder. You never have to face any actual loss or consequence for your actions, because the world is fundamentally fair and just and will bail you out of everything if you can just figure out the right cheat code. That is the exact mentality OG so scathingly attacked in its conclusion, and I concur for all the reasons I've already stated. This all leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

When Al returns, May is hysterical but Hohenheim keeps a stiff upper lip.

Then Mustang declares he's going to… continue the Fuhrer's wishes? Of "national security" read: genocide?

Then Hohenheim reflects on his history with Homunculus because he's the real protagonist with a real connection to the villain. Armstrong tells him they'd have surely lost without Ed and Al despite all the evidence to the contrary. Y'know, maybe if Hohenheim didn't have to incapacitate himself shielding Ed's useless self he could've just solo'd Father with his superpowers. Also, if they were so integral why aren't they getting told this.

Then we continue following Hohenheim as he gets to calmly come to terms with his own mortality over Trisha's grave. Then he finally, finally dies.

I don't know why they keep doing the pixellated skin cracks. It looks so weird.

And then the ending montage is Hohenheim's entire life, because he was the real protagonist all along.

FMA Brotherhood Episode 64: "Journey's End"

We open with Mustang fixing Ishval. Team Mustang helpfully informs us they are doing this because they were so helpful in defeating Father. See, brown people, all you need to do is shut up and help the white people some more, and then they'll fix everything for you!

Marcoh is somehow still alive. He has a Philosopher's Stone because Brotherhood is just tripping over the things. He explicitly says it's made of Ishvalans and then says he wants to use it to heal Mustang's eyes "for the sake of Ishval". Wow. He instead nobly uses the souls of genocided brown people to heal the spine of a white dude, because being disabled is such a terrible, terrible fate no one could ever live with.

Cut to Scar. He's going to help restore Ishval's culture and religion, which I guess is cool with alchemy now? Also he's gonna be helped by an Ishvalan in the Amestrian military because the series really, really wants to hammer in that the oppressed have to work for the oppressors to get anything done.

Olivier seems to have saved Scar just to punk Mustang and oh my god is she still using kisama for Scar? Why is she such an awful person.

We cut to the Elrics, for once at a relatively reasonable point. Al is still recovering from muscle atrophy. Boy, it sure is a good thing there was an utterly nonsensical Deus ex Machina that prevented him from starving to death. Otherwise the heroes might not have gotten absolutely everything they wanted.

Oh, Fu died? So one character was polite enough to remove themselves from this hideously bloated cast after all. Good on you, Fu.

Ed ships Al and the little girl. Ew. Is this revenge for Al shipping Ed with his surrogate sister?

Ah, Al wants to learn alkahestry so he can save people like Nina in the future. That's good but really just hammers in how ridiculous it is alkahestry isn't common knowledge already.

Winry is being a nag and Ed is being a tsundere. Het culture continues to baffle me. He awkwardly proposes with equivalent exchange. Winry jokingly says equivalent exchange is nonsense. If only.

Ed is taller than Winry now. Boy it sure is great his growth wasn't stunted, that would almost be a consequence.

Ed ends by affirming equivalent exchange.

May is adult height in the ending photo, so yyyyeeeah that wasn't just stylistic, that was a little kid Al was crushing on.

WHY IS YOKI STILL ALIVE

Conclusion

So, uh, yeah, I'm honestly not impressed by the final boss fight. It's more a montage of everyone showing off their best moves than, you know, a fight. OG's battles with Greed and Sloth were much more visually and tactically interesting to me. I also don't like the battle royale aspect, and Al's sacrifice feels so tepid next to actually bringing Ed back from the dead. I did actually mist up a bit at Hohenheim offering to sacrifice himself, but it was ruined when my logical brain reminded me of the context and how yeah, there is no reason not to sacrifice him and he 100% deserves it. Honestly, though, I don't think I would have minded if the show had actually committed to its obvious desire to make Hohenheim the protagonist? He really is better-suited to it. He has an actual personal connection to the villain; he's the one making an actual sacrifice by turning against him; and he's the party member with the most power (except maybe MUSTANG THE MOST SPECIALEST). I genuinely think his death by the grave would have worked as an ending to the series, emotionally, if he had been the protagonist from the start. But then we'd have to have an old geezer as the protagonist of a shonen and that's just unthinkable.

For real, though, Brotherhood's finale is a great shonen finale. It is very prettily drawn and well-animated, and adequately wraps up the massive tangle of storylines with a feel-good bow. Everyone gets what they want and everyone's happy. The heroes' beliefs are affirmed. All problems are solved forever.

It's also all flash and no substance.

I read an interactive webcomic once, called NanQuest. As to be expected from an interactive story, it was pretty spiralling, and had a rather open-ended conclusion that left some mysteries unanswered. In the Q&A afterward, people hounded the author with questions, asking him what was going on with X, why didn't we get resolution on Y. I was right there with them.

In response, the author said something that stuck with me: "[The story is] like life. It's messy, not clean. No last words."

Now, you can say that's a load of crock, just a lazy author covering his butt with some pretentious platitude. And you might not be wrong. I certainly feel the same about a lot of works I feel are too open-ended. But in the case of NanQuest, I thought it made perfect sense, and put some things in perspective for me. Because you know, he's right. In real life, we don't always get to wrap everything up to our satisfaction before the end. Some problems are bigger than us. You can't dismantle a system of racism in a day or even a year. You can't always save everyone. You can't always get a perfect narrative finish to your subplots, a perfect fairytale ending. You don't always get last words.

We love stories because they're a world where we can get all those things. That's a comforting fantasy... but after I'm finished it just fades into the mists as I get up for another flawed, imperfect day in my life. And… maybe I'm just weird, but when a fantasy is too happy, it actually makes me feel worse. It doesn't mean anything to me when you say that these perfect people who had everything stacked in their favor got a happy ending. That makes me say, "But I'm not those people. This happy ending is for people who aren't me, who are better people than me." It's when I see horribly flawed characters go through awful trials and still make it out in the end that I can allow myself to think maybe I'll be okay too. It's through imperfections in stories that life bleeds through, that we are able to take something back with us. And I, personally, think that verisimilitude is worth some visceral dissatisfaction at the imperfection of a narrative.

What were Brotherhood's last words? The things it wanted to make sure happened before the end? A comforting lie. The world is just, it says. As long as you work hard enough, you can achieve your dreams. It doesn't matter how many sacrifices you have to make or how many people you have to hurt, because you can fix that too, in the end.

What were OG's last words? A hard truth. You can give everything you have and still lose. You can't have it all. At some point, you have to recognize that you're better off leaving the scab alone. There was no justice in Trisha's death. In trying to fix it, to assert justice onto the world, they only hurt themselves more. In trying to fix that, they hurt more than just themselves. But maybe, if they can accept that, they can find happiness in what still remains to them; maybe if it's possible to lose something and gain nothing, it's possible to get something for nothing too. Maybe. We don't know. It doesn't pretend to have all the answers. It's on us to complete this story, to take these lessons into our own lives. That's not a fun ending. But it's still, in its own way, a good one.