#line from orison s7 e7

[limnsaber]

“You stand as you do now, neither here nor there. Longing, but afraid.” WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN SAYING!!!!

When Eurydice followed Orpheus from the underworld, it was Schrodinger’s existence. How do you know if she’s behind you or not if you haven’t looked? How do you, Eurydice, know if you’re there at all? This is what it’s like for Scully.

Mulder and Scully would go to the end of the earth for each other. When Scully made the decision to stay on with the X Files, she did so because she wanted to see where Mulder would take them, and what she and Mulder would see on their path to the unknown.

She loves him for his passion and wonder, but in turn his fixation is his fatal flaw. One of the main reasons for her hesitation to mention the ever-present subject of their relationship is her fear that Mulder will succumb to his fixation, and lock himself in the basement forever.

Because, when it comes down to it, Scully knows full well how she feels about Mulder. She knows what they could have together and she knows how she feels. But Mulder is himself, with all of his trauma and tendencies and idiosyncrasies. He cannot look her way, even when he wants to, even when they both want him to. Mulder’s fixation on the hidden and the unknown means he cannot look to see her behind him.

He cannot support her, he cannot look at her when he’s too busy looking at the sky. They’re partners, running this path together, but he doesn’t look back to see her falling behind him. And his faith that she will be behind him, which she always will be, means that he doesn’t turn to look.

Mulder and Scully would go to the ends of the earth for each other. We watch Mulder travel time and time again to the underworld for her. But Mulder does not look back. They’re still stuck in the basement, they’re still trying to exit the underworld.

To Scully’s point of view, their relationship, from Scully’s role in the X Files to her importance to Mulder, exists in that quantum state where he doesn’t look back at her. It’s Orpheus and Eurydice, Scully and Mulder. They’re still walking out of the underworld.

And until Mulder gets his head on straight, until Mulder has the presence of mind to look up and leave the basement, nothing will change. Her following him, they're still traveling the underworld. Their relationship exists in this state. This is the tragedy. If you don’t look back, how do you know if she’s there at all?