#lilly x niragi

[lillyontheborder]

"Even You... Even Me."

Niragi x OC (Lilly)?

// This is a writing I did because I have Lilly in a love triangle with Chishiya and Niragi (in my own headcanons, I know that rp is different) and so I was feeling kind of sad and wanted to turn that into something.

// This is kind of vunerable for me, but also deals with the issue of bullying. So if you decide to read it, just know it does talk about bullying.

// I was up so late writing this man... I suffered... I wanted to get the idea out before I lost it

Lilly sat next to Niragi on the rooftop. They sat in silence as Niragi messed with his gun. He sighed and didn't acknowledge her. He was really scary when they first met, but as she got to know him, she realized and learned a lot about him. Of course she didn't agree with his actions or how he treated people, but he's been through a lot.

It wasn't pity... it was understanding.

He still scared her of course, but she felt differently about him now.

"I..." she began to speak, her voice barely above a whisper. She struggled to get it out, what she was going to say.

"What?" Niragi snapped, not bothering to look at the girl beside him.

"You know... I was bullied too." She whispered softly. She was treading carefully, but she felt like she needed to tell him this.

"Huh?" He questioned, immediately stopping what he was doing and looking at her in annoyance. "What are you talking about?" He said. His eyes flickered back and forth on her form, studying her expression and posture. "What is this? Huh? Are you trying to pity me? If so, then you can fuck off." He said before continuing to mess with the killing machine in his hands. He was clearly annoyed and slightly ticked off, but he didn't hit her, threaten her, or yell at her. Instead, he just continued what he was doing.

That made it obvious. He tolerated her.

"Sorry." She whispered.

"So what was it?" He asked, focusing on the task at hand.

"What? What was what?" She said, looking at him. The wind made her cold, especially in a bathing suit. It was colder at night, and being on the roof of a building didn't help. She felt goosbumps rise on her arms. She rubbed her arms to keep herself warm.

"What was the reason?" He said. He looked at her again, flickering his eyes like before. He smirked and let out a quick, short, laugh. "Your personality? The yelling? You're pretty annoying." He said, leaning closer to her to make it clear and obvious.

She looked away, but this time, he didn't. He watched her, waiting for a response.

"Yeah. A bit. It was mostly my appearance. I was filmed and had photos taken of me. Asked out as a joke. Glaring from grown adults while I was in high school, people laughed. I grew up in a small town. It wasn't nearly as bad as I'm making it sound but... it hurt. I fell into a deep depression. I hated myself." She paused and looked at him, smiling, as if mocking herself. "Still working on that part." He didn't say anything. He just stared.

"You know..." she started. She felt a lump in her throat, like she was going to cry. But she wouldn't... that was stupid. "I know I always joke about being hot and shit. All that over-femininity and dancing and singing and shit... it's to make myself feel better. I'm not that narcissistic. I promise." Her voice was weak by the end. "I don't even like myself that much." She paused again and looked down at all the people taking a nightly dip in the pool. "I... I wonder if coming to the borderlands was a good thing. Everyone is so focused on staying alive they don't have time to mock others. To make fun of me." She looked at him again, her eyes widening a little in playfulness. "Except you. You do that plenty." He just stared silently, not responding. He then scoffed, a short, brief laugh coming out of his mouth as he looked away.

"Tsk." he paused, staring at the gun in his hands. He hated this conversation. Why didn't he kill her already? For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to, and he hated it. Was it because she was the only one who wasn't yelling at him? Telling him he was a monster for killing people, or barking orders at him? He hadn't had a conversation that WASN'T about death and the borderlands in a while. It was oddly... calming. God he hated this.

"Everyone has pathetic lives." He stated, looking out at the people below. "Even you." He said, looking at Lilly. He stayed quiet for a moment before adding, "Even me." He paused. "It's all so fucking stupid. All this shit. All people care about is themselves." Why was he having this conversation? He wished he could shut himself up. But some small part about him... didn't want to stop.

"Yeah." Lilly laughed weakly. "We all suck... don't we?" She whispered sadly. "Even you..." She said looking at him with a weak expression. Whatever that meant. They stared at each other for a few seconds in silence. Lilly hated eye contact, but she couldn't bring herself to look away from the threatening man. "Even me." She whispered. They didn't break eye contact.

They didn't have to be friends.

They didn't have to be lovers.

They didn't have to be enemies.

But they tolerated each other.

And that was okay.