#like...i KNOW none of my readers are probably going to care whether i get terminology right or not

[griseldabanks]

d;lfkjasd;gljsd;fklj I'M STARTING TO WRITE THE CLIMAX OF MY WIP!!!!!!!!!

WHAT HOW WHEN DID THIS WHY IS THIS MY STORY AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whysojiminimnida]

A bit triggering so i understand if you dont want to publish this ask. To that anon: saying "Can we talk positively about people who offed themselves?" I'm speechless. You obviously never been through what even a bit of us go through. I'm not saying our struggle and reasons are the same, but as someone who was one minute away from "off ourselves", anywhere is better than that the state we were in. Nothing positive about that. Fck get off the Internet. Tk is not real i guarantee you that

OH LOOK EVERYONE YOONGI IS WORKING ON HIS MIXTAPE, "L'iL Friskies"! That is exciting but if you read my last post you know that when Yoongi the cat not the man is at work there MIGHT BE TRIGGERS AHEAD SO READ CAREFULLY OR MOVE ALONG. You matter, your safety is important. If you are my nice anon or you feel okay to keep reading, hit the link under my cat's butt headphones:

Everything about this subject is triggering, anon, and I am really not sure if by answering this I will make it worse for anyone. I don't want to do that but you are important, and so I'm gonna hope that people pay attention to the big ass TW I posted right before I answered this. Y'know, I use gallows humor and very morbid vernacular a lot. So I get that often things I say off the cuff, like stating in another post that my sister "offed herself intentionally or otherwise", probably sounded really harsh to a lot of more sensitive ears. I do need to be more careful about my use of words, huh? Because that super weird anon used my own terminology against me and by extension against you and my other readers. That's not cool. I'm sorry about that.

But that wasn't your point, was it? Here, have a group hug, anon:

I hate that you've been there.

I hate that I've been there and more often than I care to admit.

I hate that in my own life I've had three family members get there and not make it back alive in the last year.

OKAY THAT SUCKED SORRY. But it DOES SUCK. It's horrible for those of us who get to that last minute and those who think about it and those who genuinely believe they are making other's lives better and those who just don't have the strength to care anymore. Here. Time for another hug.

When we get to that place where our decision to end things is the BETTER CHOICE - and oh yes it absolutely feels that way - we're already in Hell. You know this. I suspect a lot of us know this. That anon, and others like her (I shouldn't assume gender but I'm gonna go right on and do it, that's the least offensive thing I've done this week) - they have NO IDEA. None. Not a shadow of a fucking clue. Hug.

But, lovely anon, I am so sorry you've hurt that much. You don't deserve that. Nobody, not even that anon, deserves that. Nothing you have done has deserved that. You are valuable way beyond your imagination. You know, that thing Tae keeps telling that anon and her friends to get out of.

What they are doing and have done is awful, it's hateful, it's - for lack of a better word - evil.

But you're none of those things. And if you, or anyone reading this, is hurting, please reach out to me, to anyone you trust, hell, Google your local crisis line and give them a fake name and address so they can't send the team (source: have done it. Have also not done it and ended up in the ER so do whatever you need to get through and stay here.) Just, please make sure that you are taking care of you the best way you can, whether that looks right to anyone else or not. Please do what you can to not to get to that one minute again. I'm so glad you made it back. Wanna stick around awhile? PS: This would be the WORST TIME to haul out my "suicide is never the answer little trooper" meme but when I feel like drinking the drain fluid I pull out Heathers or Better Off Dead and just have me a marathon. Not that it'll work for you, but if you need some horrible gallows humor you will find it in the movies of my teenage years. We were FUCKED UP in the 80s. Anyway I'm here if you wanna yell or cuss or talk about anything.

[compassionatereminders]

It's up to you whether you're going to publish this, bc I don't know if I should butt in. But as one of the guys in question here, I just want to say that I see where y'all are coming from. "Pre-transition trans guy" would probably suffice, I didn't really think further on it. Like if we were to get into the nitty gritty I'm transmasc genderqueer etc, but I felt like this was enough for a short post. My whole gender ordeal is really noones business but my own. But I also think it's important to be careful with tone policing people, especially allies, on language that we -within the community- haven't even settled on. Like these days the discourse moves very fast, and even as a trans person, I sometimes lose track of what's the correct terminology. What's way more important than terminology is the basic compassion and respect with which someone approaches a topic, and the people associated with it. So honestly: Kat asked me to read over the post as a sensitivity reader essentially, and to know if we personally are comfortable with the terms. As the sensitivity reader it would've been my job to catch if something could be hurtful, and as such Kat posted in good faith. Hope this clears it up :)

Thanks for adding your thoughts! I did indeed ask you and your boyfriend to read my posts exactly because I wanted to make sure I didn't use terms you're not comfortable with - and none of you commented on the use of the afab terminology. So while I now know not to apply it to trans people in general, it was my impression that it didn't bother either of you - and I haven't been applying the term to anyone else.

[monipoka]

Addressing Content Warning Concerns

I am writing in response to points that were brought up concerning my recent post. If you haven’t read that post, you can find it here.

Be warned that this is a very long post (2.8k words). It deals with the topics of pedophilia and rape. Opinions expressed are my own; however, I do offer some resources for you to better educate yourself on this post’s content.

I will not provide a link to the user that responded as she had no ill intentions. Disclaimer if the said user reads this post, I write with peace and love at 4:00 A.M. There are a couple of places where I may sound aggressive or petty, but it is analytical and not meant to invalidate you or your opinions.

Red = user’s response with minimal changes (adjusted for grammar and clarification)

Black = my response

Part 1: Age Regression and Infantilization

To learn more about age regression, here are two lovely articles describing what age regression means medically and socially.

“Age regression [agere] is a form of coping meant to eliminate stress in potentially triggering situations. Agere is not a part of sexual play and never should be. I believe [Moni] is confusing agere for age play.”

This completely misses the mark. I understand that age regressors enter a younger psychological state often as a coping mechanism. There is nothing inherently wrong with age regression as therapy. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING age regression. As stated in my post, age regressors enter the mindset of a child commonly called a “little space.” These individuals are to be treated like children as it helps them feel safe and loved.

In my experience on Tumblr, writers commonly misinterpret Daddy Dominant, Little Girl (DDLG) or Age Play (the larger, umbrella term) for age regression. For the purposes of explanation, I am going to be using DDLG and she/her pronouns. DDLG is a type of BDSM relationship where the dominant partner (male) takes on the role of a care-giver while the submissive partner (female) takes on the role of a child. This dynamic is pretend and intended for sexual interactions. Keyword here: pretend. While the submissive portrays childish behavior, she still has an adult mindset; therefore, she can give meaningful consent. Once writers describe the submissive slipping into “little space,” her mindset is corrupt as she has age regressed; therefore, she cannot give meaningful consent making the interaction non-consensual as she embodies a child.

“Infantilization is treating somebody as if they’re a child. For example, ‘babying’ someone is the best explanation for it. This, in my opinion, is not pedophilia because it’s not inherently sexual. If it IS sexual, I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as pedophilic, but it is questionable.”

Again, this misses the mark. In a non-sexual context, infantilization is completely okay. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING the infantilization of characters. I used this term as an alternative language to age regression because I have encountered both on this site.

“Age Play, in my opinion, is pedophilic due to how the 'older’ of the partners is benefitting from it. So if [Moni] and I are thinking the same thing, but not really using the same terminology, then I agree.”

Age Play is a kink in the BDSM community between two consenting and level-headed adults.

Age Regression is characterized by regressing back to a younger headspace.

Sexualizing age regression is pedophilic because age regressors feel, act, and exhibit childlike qualities; they genuinely believe that they are a child.

If age play includes “little space,” then it is pedophilic because the submissive has age regressed.

“None of these is what I would consider illegal due to the fact that both parties are consenting adults. But age play definitely is pedophilic. But, obviously, if both people are adults, it can’t be considered illegal.”

I called pedophilia (and rape) illegal. In the eyes of the law, sexualizing age play--given that the individual is of age--is legal. This point used the transitive property of equality (Trans POE) to point out the hypocrisy in condemning pedophilia but supporting the fetishization of age regression. To clarify, it may not be illegal, but it is morally wrong.

“Infantilization and age regression aren’t inherently pedophilic because they revolve around the idea of a mindset and not physicality.”

This is contradictory to your previous point and only half true. Age regressors largely rely on physical objects (ie. clothes, stuffed animals, pacifiers) to feel safe. While the root of age regression involves a change in psyche, it is reflected in their appearance and environment.

Part 2: Dubious Consent and Non-consensual

To learn more about rape, here is a wonderful article on non-consensual sex.

���Secondly, I’m quite confused on what she [Moni] is saying regarding calling dubcon [dubious consent] and noncon [non-consentual] rape instead of dubcon and noncon.

They are rape, or at least some form of sexual assault, but I don’t think anyone’s trying to mask them from being as such.”

I whole-heartedly disagree. It is apparent by the staggering number of dubcon and noncon posts that people use these terms to try and justify writing rape because they consider it a “fetish.” The reason I am against these terms is that writers never specifically condemn them. Oftentimes, writers mix the content of the fic into their warning section. So, by writing ‘blowjob’ next to ‘dubcon’ it underscores the severity of the situation.

“Categorizing both of the two as 'rape’ could potentially end up being very damaging. Rape is a very triggering and harsh word for some people, which is why I believe a lot of people use non-consensual sex as a term to avoid potentially triggering people.”

Again, I believe that people use dubcon and noncon to try and justify their rape “fetish.” However, if using the term “rape” is triggering to some individuals and the terms “dubcon” and “noncon” are used as a substitution, why aren’t these writers coming out and explicitly saying that they do not support these types of interactions? Furthermore, why are they writing and sharing this content in the first place if they acknowledge it as rape?

“Also, I think it’s important to clarify whether the 'sexual assault’ in fiction is dubious or non-consensual. There’s a big difference between both parties being drunk in a fic (dubcon) and hard rape, and it’s important to distinguish the two in warning columns.”

Drunk people can’t consent. Both situations are rape. The “level” of rape that you refer to, being how consensual it is, is more damaging in my opinion. Because they were drunk, it means less than if they were sober. This perpetuates victim shaming. She was asking for it. She shouldn’t have drunk so much. Rape is rape. It is never okay. And one rape is never better than another.

“Dubcon is also very important to clarify in fics due to the fact that dubcon is only a fictional concept. It helps indicate the level of consent given in the fiction because someone could be not triggered by sex under intoxication but can be triggered by hard noncon.”

I’m going to use a quote I cited from this source because I feel that the writer describes dubcon more eloquently than I can: “What bothers me the most about this situation, and what I think you are partly getting at here, is when people say that their fic isn't "noncon" or they say it is "dubcon" or "noncon depending on your point of view." Come on! Have the guts to admit that what they're writing is rape. Dubious consent bothers me as a qualifier because if you aren't sure whether someone is consenting, you don't do it or it's rape. No excuses. So, I think that people should just bite the bullet and say, this is a rape fic.... If people want to write rape fic, go for it, and I will probably read it, but let's step up and acknowledge what it is we are writing. I take issue with these qualifiers because I think that it is far more insidious than out and out rape porn. At least when we say it is rape, then we can move on to the next step: saying it's wrong, just a fantasy, etc. But avoiding the label perpetuates the rape myths that have had such a damaging effect on victims and justice: did she enjoy it, she didn't really say no, she was a tease, they've done it before. None of those things matter, and when a person labels their fic, they need to stop pretending they do.”

Essentially, the writer is reiterating what I explained in my previous comment that rape is rape. Another statement that I found describes how damaging fiction can be in real life. While most readers understand that what occurred didn’t really happen, there are real-life consequences attributed to it: “...However, not everyone in fandom uses those terms in those ways. And I think that's a problem that we need to fix. Because, especially when situations that exist in real life and that would be called rape in real life are labeled "dubcon," I think it does real harm to us all.....We currently live in a culture where not fighting back - because, for example, the rapist has threatened to kill you, or someone else, or your pet, if you don't go along with it - will very often get a rape case overturned in court. Where judges and juries and god knows the popular media will pick out and analyze every detail of a person's life to determine whether they were asking for it, whether they secretly wanted it, whether they could have conceivably fought back more than they did, why they didn't scream, why they didn't report the blackmail that was used to control them, whether or not their "consent" might've been implicitly given by winks or nods or secret handshakes or a general miasma of sexual invitation. In other words, we live in a world in which rape culture, a thing we all unwittingly participate in at one time or another, works very very hard to label things dubcon when they're really noncon.”

“Most people 'romanticizing’ non-consensual sex are victims who are trying to gain some sort of control over their trauma, so they have every right to do so. If a victim of rape should have the ability to choose whether or not they want to read/write a noncon fic and if they don’t want to use the word rape because it makes them uncomfortable, they don’t have to and shouldn’t be forced to.

As a victim of rape and sexual assault, I find peace in having the control and ability to write about my trauma. It's a way for me to gain back control that I lost and the word rape does make me uncomfortable, it makes many victims uncomfortable, and if I prefer not to use that word then I should not have to if people know synonymous terms.”

Romanticize: deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is.

If you are writing/reading smut, you are trying to get off. If you are writing/reading dubcon/noncon smut, you are getting off to rape. Instead of writing/reading about how heinous rape is and how disgusting rape culture is, you write/read fics romanticizing rape since as a reader you enjoy the content to some extent: it is with your favorite character, it takes place in a cool universe, it got you horny, you felt good after reading it. Romanticizing rape is damaging to society as it subconsciously makes rape appealing. I doubt that is the intention, but you can’t deny that these underlying connections exist.

There is a difference between writing to cope and writing to entertain. My intention has never been to victim shame. But writing non-consensual sex between anime characters and a reader-insert is a form of entertainment. Remember the purposes of writing we learned about in elementary school? Yeah, I have a hard time believing that this is therapeutic. Journal therapy uses reflective writing to work through trauma and mental health issues. In sexual assault cases specifically, victims often write about their experience and/or letters to their perpetrator(s). However, if this is your way to cope, that’s fine. But writing rape fics is not the same as sharing rape fics.

“People know the severity of noncon and dubcon, which is what I think [Moni] is missing. No one is trying to not make noncon rape because it is rape. People know that it is. Most people just chose to say 'noncon’ to avoid unnecessarily triggering others.”

Do they? I think to my previous comments in this section, people use these terms to downplay the seriousness of rape.

“And there are far more 'consensual’ fics out there than noncon/dubcon fics, so I don’t exactly understand what [Moni] means by 'romanticize’ or 'normalize it.’”

Two comments up I describe what romanticization is and how it is being done in the community. I’m going to ignore the number part of this statement because I feel that there is no relevance; If there is a platform for rape fics and people are engaging with them, numbers don’t matter relative to another type of fic. I call that authors romanticize consensual sex because it is oftentimes not explicitly stated, and I think it should be. The character(s) and reader are in a relationship and sex is a byproduct of that (I do not consider this dubcon). Personally, I have found very few fics where explicit consent is written in. People sometimes think that asking for consent interrupts the flow and ruins a moment. Works of fiction have an impact on real life, and writing/reading about consent serves to reinforce healthy practices.

“Going off of that, I don’t understand what [Moni] means by 'fairly young’ audiences. I'm hoping that most 18+ consumers are, you know, eighteen or older (obviously that's not the case in all situations), and eighteen is a legal adult. Most people over the age of eighteen are very aware of what these terms mean, and they know right from wrong. So, there should be no need to clarify what 'noncon’ is for them.”

My point is that this community is relatively young. I have not encountered many writers or readers who are over the age of 25 (if you are, kudos). At this age, you lack experience. Many of these readers have never had sex or been in a relationship before. While you might know the difference between rape and consensual sex on paper, some of these things are more subtle--especially in person. You referenced drunk sex as something that you’d classify as dubcon although intoxicated individuals can’t consent. I recently read a fic where the reader was drunk and picked up at the bar by a character. He asked the reader if they consented to sex and they agreed. This is still rape as you cannot consent while intoxicated since alcohol impairs judgment. Regardless of enjoyment, which the reader experienced, this is still sexual assault. Can you see the confusion by labeling that dubcon? What is a young adult to think when they’ve been manipulated into sex but told they consented? It’s confusing, so these terms should be clarified.

Part 3: Fiction

To learn more about how fiction affects reality, here is this interesting TED-Ed animation that summarizes fiction’s impact. Also, I read this article that cites more examples.

“Also, our writing shouldn’t have to equate 'good practices,’ because a healthy-minded individual knows how to separate fiction and reality. Give people the freedom to write about whatever they want, whether it’s in private or not, that's what fiction is for.”

You claim that you don’t want to use the word rape to trigger people, so you acknowledge that not all readers are health-minded as they could be suffering from trauma or mental illness. Likewise, some individuals can’t discern fiction from reality.

More importantly, there is a connection between fiction and reality.

“Finally, I don't think we should be so open with connecting real-life issues with fictional ones. No one is going to become a rapist or want to be raped because they read fiction on it unless they’re truly a rapist or have been raped. Equating fictional works to real-life problems is a little insulting, whether [Moni] intended it to be or not.”

Watch the video and read the article. Fiction directly impacts culture and society. It may be insulting, but it’s factual.

“Because in the end, in rape fiction, no one actually got raped. In pedophilic fiction (I don’t support it don’t get me wrong), no one was actually a victim of pedophilia. Because they’re all fictional.”

That doesn’t make it okay. Again, my problem is that writers ROMANTICIZE these topics which reflect poorly on society.

“If someone is concerned about pedophilia and rape fiction, I believe it would be best to work towards real-life solutions to those real-life problems compared to criticizing fiction authors.”

If you’re concerned about pedophilia and rape FICTION, I’d hope you’d criticize FICTION authors. Honestly, this seems to be a diversion tactic to avoid accountability.

Part 4: “No Offense, but You’re Wrong About Everything”

“Overall, I think [Moni] had good intentions, but it was poorly worded.

You pose a counter argument to each of my points and make it sound like I did not educate myself beforehand. You then deflect to talking about rape and pedophilia in real-world context to downplay the severity of pedophilia and rape in fiction.

I sound petty here, and I do not mean for my words to hurt. I wish that there was some communication beforehand since it seems that there was confusion. If my original post was unclear, I hope my comments help.

Conclusion

This is for everyone:

Please check out the resources I provided and do your own research to understand the situation before forming your own opinion.

No hate to the writer of the response. I just wish you would have reached out directly for clarification before taking my words out of context and assuming their meaning.

[alia15]

I Love Me.

A Short Story:

Two bridesmaids in their late 20s gather around a mirror in a fancy bridal suite. They have just gotten their hair and makeup done by professionals.

Bridesmaid 1: “I need to just wear fake eyelashes all the time. I literally don’t have eyelashes. They are non-existent.”

Bridesmaid 2: “Tell me about it. Ugh, I hate this lip color on me; it’s drawing too much attention to my pencil-thin lips. I need lip injections. How much do those cost?”

A third bridesmaid enters the room and lets out a heavy sigh while looking in the mirror.

Bridesmaids 1 & 2, in unison: “OHMYGOD, you look gorgeous!”

Bridesmaid 3: *scoffs*  “Um, OK, I literally look 6 months pregnant. This dress is NOT flattering on me and is really highlighting my flabby stomach.”

Bridesmaid 2: “At least you have boobs to fill this thing out; I have the tits of a 9 year old girl.”

Everyone laughs. At that moment, Bridesmaid 4 walks in the room and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and smiles.

Bridesmaid 3: “Aww, you look so good!”

Bridesmaid 4: “Thanks! I actually feel really pretty. I LOVE my hair like this!”

Bridesmaids 1, 2 and 3 are perplexed. Shook. Kind of even repulsed to be honest? Hearing a woman speak highly of herself just...does not compute.

Bridesmaid 1, under her breath: “Full of ourselves much...” 

This ain’t right. But sadly, it’s reality. As a society, seeing women being self-loathing and self-deprecating is acceptable; welcomed, even. Listening to a woman berate herself might bother us and we might not agree with what they’re saying, but we are OK with them saying it. Why? Because WE say it. We talk about our flaws -- in our appearance AND personality -- but wouldn't dream of doing the opposite. 

But I don’t think it’s a matter of women not loving things about themselves. Rather, it’s about the stigma attached to announcing it. We’re comfortable talking about our cellulite, our big foreheads and bad skin, but wouldn’t DARE say we think we have pretty amazing arms. 

YES GURL.

So, I got an idea. I reached out to a few of my favorite female bloggers and posed a challenge: tell me what you love about yourself. Don’t hold back, don’t use negative terminology, don’t downplay. Don’t think in order to say something nice, you need to also say something negative (no “My nose is crooked but I still like it!”).  THIS ISN’T AN EASY EXERCISE, but we doin’ the damn thing.

It’s important.

I now present you, 6 beautiful, intelligent & amazing women -- and what they love about themselves. 

Who: Stephanie, from the blog Life According to Steph

I am fierce with myself and allow myself to be who I am, warts and all. I know my strengths, I’m not afraid to acknowledge my weaknesses, and I’m not interested in perfection.

I encourage and empower others, especially women. There’s room for all of us to shine.

I do what makes me happy, not what society tells me I should do.

I am an excellent nail painter (my own, not yours).

I work hard at being a good and contributing member of my community.

Who: Emma, from the blog Emma’s Thing

I love that I have no filter. I think life is too short to not speak your truth, tell it like it is, ask awkward questions, or tell someone they have a booger in their nose. I love that I'm upfront and let almost whatever's in my head come out of my mouth. Sure, it's caused some heartache but it also makes life interesting IMO. 

I love my facial skin. I get compliments on it all the time and, even when I'm having a bad week with random acne or some weird, non-descript rash, I know I still have it very good. I thank my mom for the good genes.

I love my hair! It took me forever to love it, truly. My hair is very very curly naturally and, for years, I had no idea how TF to handle it. But once I figured it out, I finally learned to love it. At this point, IDK how I would fare if my hair suddenly changed on me. I wouldn't know WTF to do. I also love that its natural curl lends itself to not having to be washed very often, and I can wear it in crazy, messy ways without being questioned. 

I love that I'm good at so many things. I can get sheepish about the fact that I can write, act, dance, sing, do comedy, have a good photography eye, etc. I'm not sure why — probably because it feels like bragging and showing off. But the fact of the matter is, yah girl has talent! I'm a Jill of all trades, if you will. 

Who: Christine, from the blog Simply Stine

I am a giver and I always have been. Nothing makes me happier in life than doing random acts of kindness for others. I am in a position where I'm able to bring joy to other people and nothing makes me happier. It could be sending random packages in the mail to friends and family or sending flowers out of the blue. Doing things for other people is just something I've always done and loved doing.

I love my eyes. They're this beautiful blue and they just pop in the right lighting. I've always loved them.

I love that people come to me for all kinds of advice and support.  I love listening and helping people, no matter what the situation involves. I want my friends and family to know that I'm always there for them and I'm always willing to sit down and listen to them. I think we all need that person in our life that we can go to, right?!?

I love that I'm finally happy with myself as a person. It took me a long time to understand that being "different" isn't a bad thing and that it's so much more of a positive than I ever realized. I am ok with being me and everything that comes along with accepting myself. Why did it take me over 30 years to realize this?!?

I'm a full-time Blogger and I love it. People don't always understand what it is that I do, but it's the best job. It's hard as hell some days and it isn't always fair, but it's so rewarding being able to have something that I'm in charge of come together and be a source of positivity and inspiration for others!

Who: Lindsay, from the blog Bourbon & Lipstick

I love my desire help others - be it those less needy, or something as simple as helping another blogger or blog reader.

I love that I don't take bullshit.  

I love my big butt.

I love my work ethic and that I consistently strive to do/be better.

I love how I'm not afraid to speak up.

Who: Emelia, from the blog Dream Big & Buy the Shoes

I'm extremely goofy. I make up songs and rhymes and make a lot of weird noises. I enjoy it- my kids laugh and it keeps life interesting. One of my favorite things I say every day at some point...to my daughter is "Are you ready? Ready spaghetti? Is my little Betty spaghetti ready?" Not sure where I came up with it- but she smiles, and so do I.

I love my eyes. They're green- but sometimes look hazel, sometimes look grey. I get compliments on my eyes a lot, and it makes me happy because I feel that eyes are an interesting part of a person. Someone's eyes can tell a story- and maybe mine do that for people.

Determination- I have lots of it. I've been through some rough stuff in the past 34 years and I always come out the other side. I'm determined to make sure that my family is taken care of and that we are the happiest we can be so I persevere as much as I can in every situation.

I will do anything for my children. It's hard to be a parent- there's no clear cut instruction manual. There's a lot of judgements and opinions- but you need to figure out the path on your own. I'm extremely proud of the Mom I am to Ethan and Bella. Every day isn't perfect, but we make it the best we can.

I can multi-task and love being productive. I am someone who can not sit down to relax until everything is done- but hell if I can't get it all done in like 20 minutes. I will be sweeping the kitchen floor, starting laundry and loading the dishwasher while entertaining the baby and checking Instagram- HA. But for real, I have always had very busy jobs that require me doing a lot at once and I think that helped me as a person be very productive. Being busy and productive and getting things done is a great personality trait in my opinion- work work work work work!

Who: Allison, from the blog AA (ya know, the one you’re reading right now?)

I have a good eye. Whether I’m putting an outfit together, decorating a room or taking a photo, I love that I just know what looks good. If you see me in action doing any of those aforementioned things (especially photography; my second love after writing), you know I’m serious about it.

I have long, naturally muscular legs. I was born with long legs (thanks mom) which makes me appear taller than my actual 5 feet 4 inch stature, but years of walking in heels is likely responsible for some serious calf definition that I’ve always loved having.

I love my sense of humor and quick wit. It comes across in my writing, but in “real life” it’s there, too. I’ve always said I’d rather be the funniest person in the room instead of the smartest or prettiest, and I stand by that. Humor is SO important to me. AND I’M A FUNNY BITCH.

I’m true to who I am, always. I’ve never adapted, changed or downplayed anything about myself to appeal to or appease anyone else. I stand by my convictions and I’m proud of the woman I am and will stand up for what I believe in any day of the week.

My one dimple. One is better than none, and I have a pretty big one on the left side of my face that enhances my smile and normally causes someone to poke their finger in it when they see it, which sounds weird when I type it. I love that it’s kind of a “trademark” thing I have.

OK ladies (& gents, of course!) -- your turn! Leave what thing(s) you love about yourself in the comments. I’d love to hear!