#like... i'm pretty sure the reason i'm currently writing a *ton* for a certain ship isn't solely bc i like their dynamic
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there is something so evil about knowing that you're worth something by simply existing, and yet the only time you actually feel useful is when you're doing something for others.
#inside of me is an inner child that still seeks validation so badly and one day i will heal them#like... i'm pretty sure the reason i'm currently writing a *ton* for a certain ship isn't solely bc i like their dynamic#but also hugely bc it's a small fandom and therefore the people are like... more vocal and appreciative#and i just feel so... useful.#i am writing for myself. yes. but 40% of me is writing to get the feel of doing something good. worthy. useful.#look at me! i am giving this rareship more content! i'm good for something! i'm useful! i'm worty of something!#and its just so evil bc i was worthy before writing for this ship and i'll be worthy once i stop...#but my brain is like.... realistically i know this.... but nahhh i'm not gonna let you feel this#own#the sergeant speaks#xxx.
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