#like... i am so amazed with what you wrote in this ask i honestly don't even know HOW to reply because I'm stunned it's so perfect

[oneluckydragon]

got hit with the echo+sora brainrot so i am once more rambling in your askbox about it. because reasons.

anywho i think there is something truly saddening about echo's struggles to make peace within herself and how she truly finds it hard to find that peace when she is so certain that if the truth about her origins were to be revealed to the world, much less to *sora*, everything she achieved, everything she worked for, all of which matters to her most, will crumble away in a moment's notice.

but the fear of losing all your life's work is none compared to the fear of losing sora. the feeling of poison that settled itself within themselves and between each other out of fear and tragedy of what had happened to them is familiar. echo's resemblance to dusknoir was already enough to set the two off because of how much it had all hurt to see someone you love and yourself turn into a mockery and a splitting image of someone who had pretended to care yet showed he never did at all, but this poison is louder. it hurts to bare, to carry, and to have none but yourself to be its sole holder.

but this poison, this feeling of heartache is different. because whereas the previous pain was something both of them felt, sora was lucky enough to not have known the truth about the person who she cares for so dearly.

echo knows that she used to be darkrai. and it haunts her to have known that her previous incarnation was so *cruel*, all for the sake of it just feeling right. wishing to engulf an entire world in darkness, solely for whatever desire she used to have.

and for how much she knows, how much she will hammer it into her own head that she is *not* like that anymore, that she looks at her past with sneer and disgust and that she will not be the barer of evil anymore, it will not matter in the slightest when she will have to look at sora if she were to ever find out.

how afraid, angry and dejected she would look when finding out, and how she will go on the defense/offense because of how much this will overwhelm her.

because when echo looks at her own shadow, she sees herself for what she is. she knows what she is, be it out of shame or guilt.

but when sora will look at it, she will see a tall, contorting and menacing shadow, towering over with a bright cyan eye doing nothing but looking at her, as if tempting her to make the next move.

and she defends herself. from someone she knows will not harm her. she raises her arms up in self defense from a hand that would never hurt her more than the world has already did.

she knows echo will not hurt her. and thats why she is afraid.

Oh my oh my OH MY, Sinnoh!!! YES YES YES!

HOW!!! IN THE WORLD!!! Are you so good at crawling into my head and creating these vivid analysis/snippets on my OCs??? I've barely shared ANY information about Echo and Sora because I've been wanting to hoard most of my stuff for when my fic is finally finished... but... I think you've broken my resolve a bit, if I'm entirely honest.

You know what? I'm so inspired by your accuracy and eagerness to talk about my girls that I'm gonna forgo my crippling anxiety regarding my writing skills and instead post a snippet of my WIP fic here as a treat for you. A teaser, if you will. Since I have no idea when the fic in question will actually be done and ready (or when I will be satisfied with it, cause the thing is currently 36,000 words and still slowly climbing). And now you've got me eager to share SOMETHING of my fic with you and anyone that might want to take a peek at it.

Please enjoy this conversation between Dusknoir and Echo. The topic deals a lot with what you'd described up above!! c:

[Note: this is an unedited part of my fic because I am still in the process of writing and it may change in the future, so please be gentle w/ me but I'd love to read any thoughts/comments that pop up while reading!! pls send asks or replies or anything really cause I love you guys]

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“I’m going to tell you something now, and you are going to listen.” Echo commands with a sharp bite in her voice that Dusknoir cannot fathom ignoring. He pauses and then offers a slow nod, waiting, wondering what she could possibly desire to tell him at a time like this, of all things.

Minutes pass as Echo remains rooted in place, still as her own shadow, and her eyes dart around as she stares at the patches of dry grass and sand beneath her paws. Her claws clench and unclench, digging into the earth like daggers as the wind of the forest (it’s trees so close, just behind them, a looming sort of presence that could engulf them whole) whistles through the surrounding branches, carrying stray leaves of many bright greens through the chilling breeze. Dusknoir watches them dance around Echo, twirling, floating down, down, down… but it’s quiet, too quiet, and Dusknoir feels a shiver pass through him when Echo’s voice finally rings out through the silence.

"When I evolved, Sora was petrified," She says, nearly a whisper, an admission that melts away her confidence and appears to bring her a flood of both shame and regret. Her face twists up then, strangely, like she’d felt a twinge of pain from somewhere deep inside the very fabric of her own soul and was unable to quell it. "She couldn’t even bring herself to look at me most days. At first, my appearance… well, it reminded her too much of you. And eventually of someone I used to be.”

Someone I used to be. At that, Dusknoir’s immediate reaction is to recall Echo’s previous life as a human, as the miserable shell of a creature surviving alongside Grovyle that he’d relentlessly hunted in the dark future. A human made of contempt and anger and apathy, who never smiled or laughed or cried or screamed like the old legends said humans would-- an entity that simply existed rather than lived. An echo of a life long dead and buried. But, judging by her tone, by her voice, by some uneasy intuition itching in the back of his mind like a swarm of pestilent Ninjask… he knows that she means something else entirely. Something that she isn’t willing to share. And frankly, that concept utterly terrifies him.

Someone I used to be. Dusknoir wants to speak, to break his own silence, wants to ask the myriad of questions bubbling up in his throat because this isn't the first time she's hinted at another life beyond being human, but those questions die at the source like a flame doused in water. And always the coward, coward, coward, instead he takes the easy way out by doing nothing at all. Whether Echo notices his surge of inner conflict or not-- the nervous wring of his hands and the tremble in his spine that he cannot control under her gaze-- she does not react.

“I’d take a step and Sora would flinch away.” Echo confesses, her markings flickering with light before going dark and dead, as if her body wished to snuff them out entirely, a deep seated rejection, a self-loathing so strong that Dusknoir cannot help but recognize it and empathize, and his heart aches, “It took ages for her to stop shaking when I’d speak. To stop looking at me like-- like I was going to…” 

Echo grimaces like she’s enduring waves of grueling torture and doesn’t finish that string of thought, but it’s not hard to make an educated guess on what went unsaid. Like I was going to betray her. Hurt her. Break her heart. She’s been through so much already and I couldn’t bear to be another influence in the history of her suffering. I hate myself because of how I made her feel. When her eyes went wide in fear and through them I could see myself staring back like some sort of burden, some sort of curse.

“I am not my past.” Proud and true, Echo straightens up and holds her head high, a spark igniting in her eyes, a glint of determination, a will to keep going and going despite such circumstances and strife, despite this horrid, unspeakable past that haunts her so, “And I am definitely not you. It’s taken a while, but I know that much now. I’ve accepted it.”

I am not my past. And I am definitely not you.

A sigh, a breath, and Echo glances at him with a certain sorrow that cannot be described, a sorrow that lingers even through the veil of her tenacity, "But no matter how I feel, no matter my conviction, my shadows still find ways through the cracks. Every time I think I'm getting a grip and that I might finally understand myself… I change all over again." She admits, sounding more angry and tired than defeated now-- like a mirror of her old self, her human self that had clawed and damned and cursed him, despised him more than anything. "I hate it. I hate that I never truly know who I am. That I have to learn about my past through stories others tell me, or through fragments of twisted, broken memories that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Through conflict and pain and… and..."

"Echo," Dusknoir murmurs her name softly, an offering, a potential escape if only she would wish to drop the subject and forget this conversation had ever happened-- if she'd overstepped and needed an excuse to back out, a diversion, an understanding. And briefly, Dusknoir wonders why she is opening up about this particular information, why she would delve into something so vulnerable, so personal. Why she would bring up this hurtful history when it obviously brings her great discomfort.

And then, he gets an answer.

“You’re lucky, Dusknoir." There it is, that wildfire burning in her eyes again. A spark that’s new and bold and startling. But lucky? No, never. He'd have to disagree, accounting the mountain of evidence that was his life and regrettable deeds.

"You already know exactly who you are and what you’ve done, and most importantly why. You have more than a tattered picture of yourself that reflects broken answers. And you can change with that knowledge. I see you trying.” She tells him, searching, looking for something so deeply and Dusknoir wishes he knew what it could be so that he could give it to her, because he would, he would gladly give it to her without a second thought if it meant they could be close again. But he isn’t a fool, and he’s wise enough to know they’ll never be like they were before. “And if somehow I could change, even as half-assed as I have. Well, then what’s your excuse?”

You can do it, say her unspoken words, I believe in you.

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[azziesbattybaddie]

You are my survival

Azriel x reader

You and Azriel are mates. Az knows it, you don't, that is until a particularly hard training session when the truth finally come out.

Word count: 5k

Requested: no

Warnings: fem reader, shadow play, smut, swearing, choking kink, praise, Azriel's wingspan, oral F and M receiving, Az is a Dom, PinV, we die like men

🔥 means smut will follow

Authors note: this is the first WIP I've finished in like 2 or 3 years so be gentle on me I also wrote this with one of my friends on discord and she is absolutely amazing, constructive criticism is welcome and plz let me know if I missed any tags. Enjoy!

"Pay attention."

His words weren't harsh by any means. No, Azriel would never raise his voice at you, but he'd be lying if he said training you was easy. He watched as you breathed heavily, body glistening with sweat. You'd been at this for hours. Clearly, you'd underestimated just how difficult swordplay was.

"I'm trying my best"

He let out a small chuckle, watching your brows furrow with frustration as he managed to point his sword at your neck, Again.

"Gotcha."

"dammit!"

You threw your sword down in frustration and slinked over to the corner of the ring. Before hugging your knees to your chest and sulking.

"I'm done, I'm quit!"

Sheathing his sword, Azriel approached you slowly, his footsteps silent on the straw-covered floor. He stopped a few feet away, giving you space but close enough to offer comfort.

"Hey, hey now," he murmured softly.

"Don't give up just yet."

He hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside you, keeping a respectful distance.

"Training is hard, y/n. It's supposed to push you, make you stronger. It's okay to feel frustrated, but don't let it consume you."

He glanced at you, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.

"You're doing better than you think. You've improved so much since we started. It's just... progress takes time. And patience." He offered you a small, encouraging smile.

"And maybe some water? You've been at it all day."

"yeah well maybe I should train with someone else because your a thousand times better than me and you have 400 years of experience on me so even if I am getting better your skill just dwarfs mine..."

Azriel looked at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. He had expected such a reaction from you, and he couldn't say that he blamed you either.

"You underestimate yourself," he told you gently, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"It may take time, but you will get there. Just keep practicing and if you can't believe in yourself, believe in the fact that I'm starting to feel your progress in your punches." As always tried to joke with you slightly but seeing as he got nothing but a half earned smile he let himself fall quiet.

He sighed deeply, his gaze drifting down to his scarred hands fiddling with them idly. There were things he wanted to tell you, things he wanted to share about his past, but he knew you weren't ready for them yet. Maybe one day, when you were strong enough, he could tell you everything.

Following his gaze, you watched as he picked at his nails and cuticles. You had known Az for a few hundred years now and as long as you had known him he had never shared the story of his warped skin and you had never worked up the courage to ask, that was until now.

"can I ask you a question without you getting upset? You can tell me to screw off if you don't want to answer, I won't push." You said in a timid, whispered voice. Azriel turned to look at you, his expression curious.

"Of course, y/n. What is it?"

He kept his tone calm and non-threatening, not wanting to scare you off. Whatever it was, he would do his best to answer honestly.

"what happened to your hands?"

Azriel's expression softened, and he looked down at his hands, his fingers curling slightly as he remembered.

"My hands... They were burned by-" he let out a heavy sigh, flexing his hands under your gaze before continuing.

"they were burned by my brothers, many years ago. I was born a bastard like Cassian so I was treated differently, even by my so-called family. They it left me with these scars."

He lifted his hands, showing you the intricate network of burn scars that covered his palms and fingers. They were a constant reminder of his past, a painful chapter he would rather forget.

"what brings that question to mind?"

you reach to grab his hand but hesitated before touching him.

"I just always wondered if they were painful they still look painful..."He noticed your hesitation and gave you a reassuring nod, encouraging you to continue.

"It doesn't hurt anymore, physically at least. But sometimes, the memories can still be quite painful." He lowered his hands, his gaze returning to yours staying quiet for a beat.

"It's alright, y/n. You won't hurt me by touching them. I won't bite or as Cass would say 'i won't bite unless you want me too'" he says with a half honest grin trying to lift the mood slightly.

He held out his hand, palm facing up, waiting for you to make the first move. He wanted to show you that he trusted you, that he was comfortable with you touching him. "Go ahead, y/n."

you gingerly brushed your fingers over his scarred hand before taking one of his hands in both of your running your thumbs over the back before smile and saying softly

"They always looked soft still..."

A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he felt his face heat slightly at the praise. He never wanted to feel anything other than your gentle touch on his scarred hand.

"Because of the burns, my skin never calloused so yeah I guess they are."

He turned his hand over, intertwining his fingers with yours. The warmth of your touch seeped into his skin, soothing the old wounds in ways he hadn't experienced in centuries.

"I never associated touch with comfort before. It feels like home." ' you feel like home' is what he would have said if he had the nerve but kept that thought to himself, thinking it to cheesey to say out loud.

His thumb stroked the back of your hand, a tender gesture that spoke volumes about the unspoken bond between you two. In that moment, the weight of his secrets and the darkness of his past seemed to fade away, replaced by a simple, pure connection with you.

you lifted your head to look at him only to find him already looking at you, your faces close enough to feel each others baited breaths.

Azriel's gaze locked onto yours, his heart pounding against his ribcage like a wild drum. The intensity of your stare was almost overwhelming, stirring feelings within him that he thought long buried.

He leaned closer, his lips inches away from yours. He could smell your scent, a mix of sweat and something uniquely you. It was intoxicating, making his pulse race and his resolve weaken.

For a moment, he considered closing the gap, pressing his lips against yours and losing himself in the warmth of your embrace. But he pulled back, breaking eye contact, reminding himself of the danger in such actions.

without thinking of the consequences of your actions you shot your hand out to cradle the side of his face turning him back to look at you and meet him with pleading look, begging him not to turn away.

Azriel's breath caught in his throat as he felt your hand cup his cheek, turning his face back towards you. He met your pleading gaze, his own eyes filled with a mix of longing and fear.

He wanted nothing more than to surrender to the desire burning within him, to lose himself in your embrace and forget about his past, his fears, and his responsibilities. But he knew he couldn't. Not yet, at least.

With a heavy sigh, he gently removed your hand from his face, his fingertips trailing along your skin as he did so.

"y/n, we can't," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"I care for you too much to risk putting you in danger. We need to focus on our training, on becoming stronger, you need to be ready for when hyburn attacks."

your pout deepened as you moved back slowly pulling your hand away from his reluctantly as you bit your lip trying to think of something to say to make him change his mind.

"Az we can still train and I've been getting stronger for years, why can't we just," you trail off, not knowing that words for the feeling you felt for him.

Azriel's chest tightened at your pout, a pang of guilt slicing through him as he cut you off. He hated seeing you upset, especially over something he had done.

"It's not because I don't want to," he assured you, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

"It's because I care about you too much. If I give in to these feelings now, it might lead to something neither of us is prepared for, not with so much at stake with war coming."

He paused, his gaze dropping to your lips before lifting back to meet your eyes.

"We're mates. I've known for a while but even though we were designed for each other. And right now with hyburn threatening to breach our borders, our lives and decisions can't be about love or passion-it's about survival"

you pull his face back to you for a last time before running the pads of your thumbs over his cheeks lovingly

"I know that az, but you are my survival. you said it yourself that your my mate, do you really think that I can live without my mate, without you?" You plead tears starting to form in your eyes.

The words hit him like a physical blow, leaving him momentarily speechless. Your admission cut straight to the core of his being, striking a chord within him that resonated with a depth of longing he didn't fully understand.

"You need my love..." he echoed, the words sounding foreign even to his ears. He'd never been loved, let alone needed. The idea was both terrifying and exhilarating.

"I... I don't know if I can give you that. I've never been loved, and I've never loved anyone the way I think I should. you deserve all the love there is in this world, and I don't think I can give you that."

His voice cracked with emotion, betraying the turmoil of feelings welling up inside him.

"you can,"

You step closer still holding his face you pull a hand away to grab his scarred one and place it on your waist and putting your hand on his chest over his heart gingerly.

"You have so much love in your heart that you can't help but let it spill over. You try to act so cold and calloused to everyone but we all feel you how much you love us. "

At your touch, Azriel felt a surge of emotion course through him, his heart pounding wildly against your palm. He stared down at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception or manipulation, but found only sincerity and vulnerability.

"You really believe that, don't you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"That I have love to give?"

He hesitated for a moment, then placed his other hand tentatively on your waist. The warmth of your body seeped into his chilled skin, melting some of the ice that had encased his heart for so long.

"I want to believe it," he admitted, his gaze dropping to your lips once more.

"But I'm afraid of putting you in a dangerous situation that you never need to be in. Afraid of losing control and doing something that could harm you. We both know that my work is extremely dangerous and if you got pulled into that I would never fucking forgive myself"

"Azriel... Your the bravest male I've ever met, please don't stop being brave." You take a final step faces inches apart

Azriel's breath hitched as you closed the remaining distance between you, your bodies nearly touching. He could feel the heat radiating off you, drawing him in like a moth to flame.

"Brave doesn't mean fearless, y/n," he said, his voice low and husky.

"Sometimes bravery means facing your deepest fears, even when every instinct tells you to run." You whisper gingerly brushing you fingers over his leathers laying over his heart.

He reached up, his fingers curling around the nape of your neck as he tilted your head back slightly. His thumb brushed against your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine.

"I'm just scared of failing you, of not being able to protect you. But I'm also scared of missing this chance, of letting my fears hold me back from trying to give us the life the cauldron has laid out for us."

"Then don't let your fears hold you back Az, let me hold them instead." You hold his hand over your cheek and guide his thumb over your lip again gently.

Azriel's resistance crumbled under your gentle guidance, his thumb gliding over your soft, plump lips with a tenderness that surprised even him. He leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours as he savored the scent of your skin, the warmth of your breath.

"cauldron..." he murmured, his voice thick with longing.

he closed the final inch of distance, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that was both tentative and desperate, holding your sides as delicately as fine china.

🔥🔥🔥

you surge you hand up to tangle in his hair and let out an audible cry of relief into his mouth.

Azriel groaned softly into the kiss as your hand tangled in his hair, the sensation sending sparks of pleasure through him. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping across your lips to explore the warm cavern of your mouth.

As he kissed you, Azriel felt a weight lift from his shoulders, a burden he hadn't realized he carried until it was gone. In your embrace, he found a sense of peace, of belonging, that he had never known before.

Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours, panting lightly as he struggled to catch his breath. "Y/n, I've wanted this for so long," he confessed, his voice rough with emotion.

"Wanted to hold you, touch you, taste you now."

"then don't fucking stop now." You practically begged, chasing his lips.

Your impassioned plea sent a jolt of desire through Azriel, his grip on you tightening as he ground his hips against yours, the hard length of his arousal pressing insistently against your belly.

"Oh, god, baby," he gasped, his breath hot against your skin.

"I won't stop, not now, not ever again." His hands trailing down to your ass, gently kneading the flesh under your fighting leathers.

"You're mine, and I'm going to fuck you so hard, make you scream my name until you forget everyone else exists."With that declaration, Azriel swept you up into his arms and winnowed you back to the house of wind before.

carrying you towards his bedroom as he devoured your mouth in a frenzy of kisses, his hands roaming your curves with a hunger that bordered on desperation. your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you and you press your breasts against his chest, mewl desperately against his lips.

The sound of your moans vibrating against his lips was music to Azriel's ears, fueling his already raging desire. He kicked open the door to his bedroom, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity as he laid you down onto the plush mattress.

"Gods, babygirl," he growled, his hands tracing the outline of your curves as he knelt beside you, his eyes devouring every inch of your exposed flesh. "You're so beautiful, so perfect..."

Without another word, he began to undress you, peeling away each layer of your leathers with a reverence that belied his usual cool demeanor. As he revealed your skin to his hungry gaze, he marveled at the sight, at the swell of your breasts, the curve of your hips, the sweet dip of your navel.

"And you smell divine,"

Azriel couldn't help but lean down, his tongue darting out to trace a path along the delicate line of your collarbone, savoring the taste of your skin. He licked and nibbled his way down your body, pausing to lavish attention on each breast, his tongue swirling around your nipples before taking them into his mouth, sucking gently.

His hands weren't idle either, slipping down to cup your ass, squeezing the firm flesh as he continued his descent. His shadows hooked around the sides of your panties, dragging them down your thighs with a teasing slowness that left you squirming beneath him.

"Tell me what you want, baby," he whispered against your skin, his voice a husky murmur.

"What do you crave? Tell me how to make you come undone?"

you reached down to Palm the tent in his fighting leathers at the words and using your other hand to wrap the scared flesh of his hand around your throat.

"I want you to use me, own me Azriel."

At your command, Azriel's heart pounded with a wild rhythm, his cock throbbing in your grasp. He allowed you to control his movements, his hand tightening around your throat in a gesture that was both possessive and protective while one of his larger shadows gently brushed against the side of your face in stark contrast.

"You're mine now, babygirl," he breathed, his voice laced with raw need.

"And I plan to worship every gods-damned inch of you."

With that promise, he slid down further, his lips trailing kisses along your inner thigh, his breath hot against your sensitive flesh. He paused just above where you needed him most, his eyes locking with yours as he teased you mercilessly.

"Do you want more?" he asked, his voice a seductive whisper. "Do you want my mouth on you, tasting you?"

"gods yes please!" You hold his hand tightly around his throat encouraging him to squeeze harder what you arch your back of the bed in hopes of inching your cunt closer to his mouth.

Azriel's grip around your throat tightened slightly at your eager response, his thumb applying just enough pressure to send a thrill of excitement through you. With a low growl, he finally gave in to your pleas, his mouth descending upon your dripping folds.

He lavished your pussy with attention, his tongue delving deep inside you as he fucked you with slow, deliberate strokes while flicks of dark swirl around your clit. He explored every inch of your sex, savoring the taste of your arousal, the feel of your slick walls clenching around his tongue.

As he ate you out, Azriel's free hand roamed your body, palming your breasts, pinching your nipples, leaving trails of fire and cold in its wake. He could feel your climax building, could taste your sweet submission on his tongue, and it only fueled his own desire.

"come on babygirl, ride my face while you come."

He brought one of your hands to tangle in his hair and wrapped his arms around the tops of your thighs encouraging you to buck into his tongue.

Your hips bucked off the bed as you came hard on his tongue, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave, your juices flowing freely as you cried out his name, your fingers tangling in his hair, holding him close.

Azriel drank in your release, his tongue lapping up every drop of your essence as he savored the taste of your pleasure. He held you tight, his mouth never leaving your pussy as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, your cries of ecstasy music to his ears.

Only when you finally went limp did he release you, his face glistening with your arousal. He crawled up your body, his chocolate eyes blazing with a fierce possessiveness as he claimed your mouth in a searing kiss.

"Now it's my turn," he growled against your lips, his hands tearing at his leathers to free his straining cock.

"Get on your knees, baby, I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours."

You eagerly roll onto your stomach and push yourself off the bed and onto your knees Infront of him batting your lashes and staring up at him with lust filled eyes.

Azriel watched you move, his heart pounding with a mix of desire and admiration. Your eagerness was intoxicating, fueling his own need even further. He discarded his leathers completely, revealing his veined cock, throbbing with need.

Azriel's breath caught in his throat at the sight of you kneeling before him, your eyes filled with hunger and desire. He ran a hand through your disheveled hair, his fingers tangling in your locks as he guided your head towards his aching cock.

"Open wide, love," *he murmured, his voice thick with need.

"Show me how much you need me."

you took him into your mouth, Azriel let out a low groan, his hips bucking involuntarily. Your warm, wet mouth felt like heaven, and he had to fight the urge to thrust too hard, too fast. Instead, he set a steady pace, his hands guiding your head as you sucked the tip every time he pulled out.

"Fuck, good girl," he gasped, his grip tightening in your hair. "You fucking feel incredible..."You moaned softly as you took him deeper into your mouth working your tongue over his cock, your hands reaching up to cup his balls as you continue to suckle on his cock.

The sensation of your tongue working over his length, coupled with the feeling of your hands on his balls, sent jolts of pleasure coursing through Azriel's body. He watched you, entranced by the sight of your lips stretched around his cock, the sound of your soft moans vibrating against him.

"That's right, baby," he purred, his voice heavy with lust.

"Take all of me... Show me how much you want this..."

He began to move faster, his hips rocking into your mouth, setting a rhythm that had him teetering on the brink of release. His fingers threaded through your hair, urging you on, pushing you to take him even deeper.

"fuck yes! Good girl, just like tha- oh such fucking good girl!"

You moan louder now sending subtle vibrations down his shaft, your cheeks hollowing out as you suck harder on his cock, taking him deeper each time until he hits the back of your throat. You gag softly but quickly recover and continue sucking him off as if your life depends on it.

The feeling of your throat constricting around his cock was almost too much for Azriel to bear. He grunted, his hands gripping your hair tighter as he fucked your mouth with abandon, his hips snapping forward with each thrust.

"Oh gods, baby..." he groaned, his voice ragged with need.

"You're going to make me come so fucking hard..."

His cock throbbed in your mouth, signaling his imminent release. With a final, powerful thrust, he spilled his seed into your willing mouth, his cum coating your tongue and spilling down your chin.

"That's it... Swallow it all..."

Swiping your fingers over your chin you collect the molten cream and swallow every last drop of his cum, your throat working to milk him dry, your eyes locked on his as you gaze up at him with a look of complete satisfaction and devotion.

Azriel watched, transfixed, as your throat bobbed swallowing his cum, your tongue working to milk him dry. He let out a satisfied sigh, his fingers gently stroking through your hair as he admired the look of complete satisfaction on your face.

"You're amazing," he murmured, pulling out of your mouth and offering you a hand up.

"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did."

With a smile, he pulled you into his arms for a deep, passionate kiss, his hands roaming over your body as he savored the taste of you still lingering on his tongue.

You lean into his touch, your body pressed tightly against his as you kiss him back just as passionately, your hands running over his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his skin.

Azriel dominated you mouth with a throaty moan, his hands exploring your curves with a growing urgency. He broke away from the kiss only long enough to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, savoring the taste of your skin.

"I want more," he whispered huskily,

"but I think we should save some energy for later."With that, he lifted you effortlessly, carrying you back to the bed where he laid you down, his eyes darkening with desire as he looked down at you.

You giggle lightly as he lays you back down on the bed, your legs parting slightly as you invite him closer.

Azriel's gaze followed the movement of your legs, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth as he saw the invitation in your eyes. He climbed onto the bed, settling between your thighs, his weight supported on his elbows as he gazed down at you.

"Impatient little thing, aren't you?" he teased, his voice low and playful.

He leaned down, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened peak before giving it a gentle bite.

"But don't worry, love. I plan to take full advantage of that"

Feeling your hands in his hair, Azriel gave a low chuckle, the vibration of his laughter traveling straight to your breasts. He continued his attentions, alternating between teasing your nipples and tracing patterns across your skin with his tongue.

"Hmm, sounds like someone wants more," he murmured, his voice muffled against your flesh.

Pulling back slightly, he shifted his position, aligning his cock with your slick entrance. Without another word, he pushed inside you, filling you completely with a single, smooth stroke.

You arch your back, pressing your breasts back into his waiting mouth as he teases and bites at your sensitive nipples, a soft moan escaping your lips. Your hands find their way to his hair, tangling in the strands as you pull him closer, desperate for more of his touch.

"Fucking hell, babygirl..." he groaned, his hips beginning to rock slowly as he adjusted to your tight warmth. impatience."

He moved to your other breast, lavishing the same attention upon it, all while grinding his hardening cock against your core. Your back arches off the bed as he fills you, a sharp gasp leaving your lips at the sudden intrusion. But as he begins to move, slow and deliberate, you relax into him, your inner walls clenching around his thickness.

"Ah... yes..." you breathe out, your hands tightening in his hair.

"Just like that... Don't stop..."

Hearing your plea, Azriel picked up the pace, his hips snapping forward with increasing urgency. Each thrust drove him deeper into your welcoming heat, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.

"Gods, you feel incredible," he growled, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dueling with yours as he fucked you relentlessly.

His hands roamed your body, squeezing your ass cheeks, tracing the curve of your waist, and finally, cupping your breasts once again, thumbing your nipples into stiff peaks.

You meet his kiss with equal fervor, your tongue dancing with his as you lose yourself in the sensation of being filled so completely. Your legs wrap around his ass, pulling him even deeper within you, urging him on.

"Oh god, Azriel!" you cry out, your walls spasming around him, milking him for all he's worth.

Feeling your orgasm ripple through you, Azriel let out a guttural roar, burying himself as deep as he could go as he found his own release. He came hard, pulsing streams of hot cum inside you, his body shuddering with the force of it.

"baby Fuck, y/n-" he gasped, collapsing forward, catching himself on his elbows to keep from crushing you before pulling out and gently resting himself on top of you, his hips still between your legs and his head resting on your breasts.

He stayed there for a moment, panting, his heart pounding against your chest, before slowly rolling to the side, taking you with him so you were draped across his chest.

"That was... intense," he panted, his fingers trailing lazily up and down your spine.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"Yeah... That was amazing." you murmur, snuggling closer to him, enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking.

As you lay there, spent and satisfied, your the aftershocks of your orgasm. You nod weakly, a contented smile tugging at your lips.

Azriel smiled, his fingers gently stroking through your hair as you nestled against him. He could feel the warmth of your body pressed to his, the steady beat of your heart against his chest.

"I know, baby," he said softly, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your forehead.

"And it's only going to get better from here."

His hand trailed lower, his fingers finding your hip, where he gave a gentle squeeze.

"Now rest, we've got plenty of time to explore more later when you can feel your legs again." He taunted with a tired grin.

You sigh contentedly with a fucked out smile on your face, feeling utterly relaxed and loved. You close your eyes, letting the warmth of his body envelope you, and drift off to sleep in his arms.

Watching you drift off to sleep, Azriel couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the moment. Here, in his embrace, safe and protected, with his beautiful mate, it was everything he could ever want. And now, it seemed, he had it all.

With a final lingering look, he allowed himself to relax fully, his breathing evening out to match yours. As he drifted toward sleep, he knew one thing for certain - this was just the beginning.

[timewillpasssoon]

HELLO!!! Maybe in the second part there's some drama 🫣 Maybe a dating scandal with another person and Joost is heartbroken but Y/n is like No, I only like Joost!! And Y/n reaches out to him first and apologizes for all the drama and he asks her to come to one of his concerts??

LET ME THINK...

pairing . Joost Klein x fem-celeb! reader

content . fluff, reader is an actress, you are addressed as 'reader', reader is the same age as joost, fake social media screenshots,

summary . you announce that you are a huge fan of Joost Klein in an interview... and he sees it! He just so happens to be a huge fan as well.

word count . 1,9k words, 10,8k characters, 3 screenshots

author's note . guys i did it, i wrote part two. there will be a part 3 (maybe a part 4!!). the part 3 will include the dating drama...!!! ALSO ME AND KÄÄRIJÄ HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY, LETSGO

You honestly couldn't believe it. That your celebrity crush just said you were cute. That he's too shy to talk to you??? You found this out when you were in a Café.

Finn decided to take you out to a nice, but little Café. A nice outing with his “older sister”, he said.

You and Finn were chatting about recent drama you both recalled when your famous friend, Ella Purnell, suddenly FaceTimed you. As you answered, she said her quick hello and mentioned something about Joost responding to your interview. However, her words were muffled by background noise, and you only caught Joost's name. "What are you talking about?" you asked, a sense of panic rising within you, hoping it might just be a prank call.

Meanwhile Ella, between her hair and makeup session with her crew, urged you to check Twitter. "He responded to you... you'll be pretty happy to hear what he said," she exclaimed. With a mixture of dread and curiosity, you glanced at Finn before hurriedly opening Twitter to investigate. As you navigated to the trending section, your heart sank as you read the top headline: "JOOST REPLIED."

“Ah, shit.” Finn checks Twitter as well. His jaw slightly drops, probably an inch down. “He saw it?” Ella hums at Finn's question, “He probably saw the interview right as it dropped.” Finn nodded.

You freeze as you click on the button, two tweets on your screening both saying that Joost Klein responded to Reader Lastname. You clicked on the clip attached to one of the tweets. It was Joost in his iconic blue spiked-shouldered suit. Appie and Stunje are barely on screen.

The video starts on by Joost speaking, "well, I am honestly very flattered that someone beautiful as her would be interested in me."

He continues, "When I saw the interview, I froze! She is one of my favorite actresses. Reader is amazing at her job!" The interviewer chuckled, "Oh! Well maybe you should message her!"

"No, no! I am too embarrassed to make the first move...

“But she is very pretty.”

You were in a state of frenzy, alternating between giggling uncontrollably and wiping your sweat that was on your forehead. You were also kicking Finn's legs in excitement. "Will you stop doing that?" Finn chuckled, clearly amused by your reaction. The video repeated, indicating that you watched the whole clip.

Both Ella and Finn witnessed your surprised expression. “Amazing, right? That means you have a chance!” Ella shouted, trying to make herself more audible over the commotion behind her. “I think I'm going to faint.”

Finn placed his hand on his own forehead, looking at the video one more time. Never before had you felt so embarrassed and dizzy in your life. “You should text him.” Finn smiles at his friend, placing his phone down on the table, lifting his fork. “You know what,”

You take a moment to think about it. Maybe you should make the first move. Well, you kind of had to, since Joost quote-ly wasn't.

“Alright, I'll text him-!” Ella and Finn cheered you on, “Atta girl!”

As you reached for your phone to check your contacts, a sudden realization washed over you.

"I don't have his number," you muttered, a sense of disappointment creeping in. Finn and Ella, who had been cheering you on moments before slowly, gradually fell silent. "Well, shit," Ella exclaimed, her tone reflecting a mix of frustration and disappointment.

She glanced away from her camera phone, redirecting her gaze to the mirror in front of her.

“You can't DM him on Instagram, he doesn't have them on.” You don't question how she knows that. Okay, maybe she might have tried to message him about you when the interview first dropped, but she couldn't.

“How am I going to contact him?” Finn raises his cup of coffee to his lips, “We have connections…?” Finn suggested a solution but you weren't listening because he explained it too fast, or maybe because it wasn't that good… Ella sighs fidgeting with her baby hairs, “We should ask around. To see if anyone is close to him.” Ella's suggestion was the best one out of the two.

She picked up her phone, you can hear Ella start typing, in search of finding friends that know friends that know friends that know Joost.

Finn unlocking his phone on his way to mass message all his contacts.

…

How long has it been?

It felt like an eternity, but in reality, only about twenty minutes had passed. All you wanted to do is talk to (maybe) your future boyfriend.

You got a message back from someone in your contacts.

The three of you have tons of connections that you just asked around if anyone had his number, and after what seems to feel like hours...

YOU GOT IT!

You got Joost Klein's number from mutual friends. Your old co-star is friends with a Greece singer who is also friends with this Finnish rapper named Käärijä.

And Käärijä is really close with Joost...!!!

You got Joost's number from Käärijä, “What should I say?” You asked Ella and Finn. Your palms were very sweaty, emphasis on very.

“A simple hi would be good.” Ella said smiling, you couldn't tell if she was making fun of you or not. “What if he finds it weird that I got his number through his friend?”

“How else would you get it? He's ‘too shy’ to make a move. You had to get it somehow.”

Finn finished taking the last sip of his coffee before saying that. He lifted his eyebrows indicating that you should agree with him. “You know he's right. His friend probably already told him that you have his number. What if he's waiting for you?” Ella teasing you to hit the send button of your text.

...

And she was right. Joost was pacing around his room as he got the news from Käärijä. That the most beautiful woman, Joost's words, is going to text him any minute now. “I don't think I'm ready.” He admitted aloud, the weight of anticipation and nerves settling heavily on his shoulders.

Joost has loved your movies and shows since your career started. You were a great actress and had an even greater personality from what he has seen online.

Also, when you revealed that you knew some Dutch in an interview… he loved you even more. “What!? Why… Do you not like her?”

Joost sighs and backtracks, “I do! I'm just nervous. How would I reply to her message?” Käärijä lets out an airy laugh. “I'm not sure… But you'll figure it out!!”

He was no help, thought Joost. He sighed when he heard Käärijä's advice. The two of you were a nervous wreck.

Käärijä spoke again after hearing Joost's depressed sigh, "I'll help you think of a response when she does text you."

“What if I mess this chance up with her?”

/

"What if he thinks I’m weird?"

The air was filled with worry. “I don’t know…” Finn rolled his eyes, telling you that if you don’t bag him now, someone else will.

You knew he was right, so you swallowed all your embarrassment.

“Maybe a simple explanation?” You ask your two friends before sending your text. “Yeah, whatever, just send it!” Ella couldn't wait anymore, rushing you to send the message already.

“Alright, alright!”

You typed out your message: “hey joost, it's reader! I got your number from a friend of yours. wanted to say hey and if you're down to talk ^^”

“Is that good? Oh god, maybe I should just say ‘hey’.” Ella rolls her eyes, slightly annoyed from your overthinking, “It's great. Don't overthink it,” Ella chuckles at a thought that popped in her head, “He's already getting you stressed out and you guys aren't even together yet.” Yet. That word made your stomach twist into several knots. You and Joost haven't had a proper conversation yet.

There were a lot of “yet”s in your thoughts. Finn snapped you out of them, saying, “Listen even if you mess this up, there are other fish in the sea, right? You don't even know him that well enough to be stressing this much.”

Was that advice the best? It was decent but he was also somewhat right!

“What great advice, Finn, be my therapist!” Ella makes a mockery at him just for a good laugh. She was successful on making you laugh quietly while staring at the now empty plate in front of you.

“Whatever, I'm always right.” Finn scoffs, tilting his head to the side. “If you don't want to text him you don't have to.” You look directly into his eyes, you weren't quite sure what to say. “Yeah but…

“I want to.”

You straighten your posture and click the send button. Your three letter message is sent within five seconds of you pressing the send button. “Did she actually do it!?”

Ella asks Finn, nodding yet she couldn't see, “Holy shit, she did it!” Finn cheered quietly for you. “You did it, Reader!” Ella claps her hands together, bringing her tied hands in front of where her heart would be.

“I feel better.” Ella smiles at your comment, “I'm glad you took the first step. I have to get going now! But text me when he responds! Cheers!” Ella quickly ends the call after you and Finn say your goodbye to her.

You smile at Finn, the knots in your stomach going away. “Want me to take a photo of you?” Finn asked as he unlocked his phone to go to the camera app. He swooped some of his hair, that was once in front of his forehead, behind his ears.

“Duh!" When he finished taking a photo of you in the green Café, you snapped a picture of him as well.

It was later in the day, around six pm from where you were currently located at, the nice cool air breezing through you and Finn. When you first sent your text to Joost, it was around ten am, making it seven pm in the Netherlands. It took him around ten minutes to respond to your first text. It was him reassuring you that he was down to chat.

The conversation lasted for a couple of hours, getting to know each other well enough within the four hours he had. The talk ended due to Joost having to go to bed, him being nine hours ahead of you was sure frustrating, you wanted to talk for a few more minutes but respected his goodbye. The rest of the day was traveling around with Finn.

You were in Finn's car, in a random semi-empty parking lot. A little takeout box on your lap. You were staring at the sky, having thoughts, little ones that weren't going to stick for a while.

Finn placed down his tiny bow on his lap as well. "What are you think about?" He snapped you out of your thoughts. "I think you know who I'm thinking about..." He smiled at you, nodding his head slowly as he looked away. "Should've known."

Finn sighed, "Just spit it out already!" He could tell something was bothering you, something that may involve a certain Dutch man. You shake your head. "It's nothing bad." You take a moment to yourself. "Just feel nervous."

You shifted in your seat, facing Finn that was in the driver's seat. "He's really nice, sweet, and just overall understanding! I know we only talked for, what- four hours? But he's pretty decent from what I had."

Finn looked away, knowing you were right. "I like him more than the others." Finn smirked at you, with cheekiness, "I did some research."

You sigh, you slightly open your mouth, the tip of your tongue touching your inner cheek. "Of course you did!"

taglist . . . @poppymelonz @grassclippers @catch1ngmoths @beansnsoup @f4n3tt3 @smiley-roos @welcometowonkas @hatsunimikuuu @haela-ttt @iamirish @berryxblue @ki-wiix @hsthbs @ihrtmusicsblog @arisja3701 @morrrospotted @casuallyeating @evonevenik @hiraethberry @yaxily45 @katlolsblog @1lovef1sblog @hockeybae @arysbruv @bl0om-star @bineeeee @gigilovescatsx @non-lo-so0 @lovely-nightstars @frikandllbroodje @lovingyeet @frenchgirlsblog

white means i can't tag.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Now that I've had a smoke and touched grass...

Feels like this took forever to finish even though it halfway wrote itself. Didn't wanna make you guys wait too long because that cliffhanger was cruel even for me honestly.

I know where this is ending, but I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to take to get there. I'm estimating two to four more chapters, not counting a silly epilogue and a follow-up oneshot.

Anyway, here, have some shameless smut

Flight Risk

Young!Mihawk x Marine!AFAB!Reader

Ch. 10 of more than I planned don't ask

Wordcount: 3,970

First chapter and Previous chapter link

Brief summary of The Story So Far: Your mission, as a Marine and Zoan type devil fruit user (gray parrot), is to gather intel on Dracule Mihawk, a pirate on the Grand Line who has become a thorn in the Marines' side over a relatively short period of time. He has been allotted forty-eight hours to make his decision on the offer of becoming a Warlord, and you can do little but imagine what that means for you

Warnings n stuff: Very NSFW. Very yandere.

Taglist: @i-am-vita @nerium-lil @browneyedhufflepuff @madbadpadawan @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @littleleelee @dragon-bubs @animefreak818 @byysandra @lufemia @gizamalblythe @schanwow

Once again, you guys are amazing and I love you so much

A soft moan left your lips as he pulled his fingertips slowly down your neck, his command hanging heavily in the air around you.

“Do you understand?”

“Y-yes, sir,” you stammered out in a trembling whisper.

“Good.” Mihawk curled his hand under your chin, tilting your head back, and brushed his lips to your exposed throat as he pushed his hand back into your hair, curling his fingers into the tresses to hold your head in place. “Good girl.”

You drew in a sharp gasp as he slowly pushed a finger into you, barely registering his pur of approval against the column of your throat as you tightened around the digit, arching your hips up toward his hand. He pulled in a sharp breath himself, tracing his lips across your collarbone, pulling his hand back down to your neck.

“I should consider myself lucky to have such an obedient little pet.” You bit your lip as he curled his finger within you, rubbing slowly against the center of that agonizing pressure and sending a strong, pleasurable throb through your clit as the bundle of aching nerves begged for his attention. “You seem close already. Are you?”

“Y—yes, sir,” you whimpered, gripping hard onto a fistful of his hair as his lips reached the swell of your breast. You fought to keep your breathing steady as you lifted your head, watching his slow descent.

“Oh…” You gasped as he grazed his lips across the stiff point of your nipple, lying your head back in a breathy moan when he sucked the sensitive protrusion into his mouth for far too brief a moment. “Oh, how unfortunate.”

You cautiously glanced down when he pulled his hand from beneath your panties, your heart throbbing, wondering if you had done something wrong.

“I had hoped to play with you a bit longer.” He wrapped a hand around your wrist, his grip firm, and pulled your hand away from his shoulder, shifting back up so his eyes were level with your own again. “But you might need to distract yourself first.”

You swallowed, glancing at his hand as he guided your own on a slow, almost torturous path don the deep lines of his abdominal muscles, before your gaze snapped right back up to his.

“I hope you don’t think I’m only depriving you for my own entertainment.” You were certain he was—or at least that it was a very great part of it. He left your hand to rest at the waist of his pants, just above the buckle of his belt, and pushed his arm between the two of you to take your other hand from his hair. “The longer you remain at the edge of abandon, the greater the prize will be.” You exhaled a shuddering breath as he brushed his lips across your knuckles, before he pulled it down to level it with his other. “And I intend to take very good care of my pet.”

You detected no lie in his gaze. There was still that glint of amusement, but there was something else burning there as you cautiously unhooked his belt with trembling fingers. He didn’t have to spell out what he expected of you, for you to focus on him until you had calmed down enough to continue—and, nervous though you were, you were in no way reluctant. You could feel the heat of his stiff erection through his pants as you pulled the button loose, keeping your eyes glued to his, watching the desire that quickly consumed his gaze as he helped you push them down his lean hips.

There was some degree of surprise there as well, as if he had expected you to be far more reluctant to relent to his instruction. Your hands trembled, trailing your fingertips back up his hips as he kicked the pants away, your breathing quick and uneven; watching how he closed his eyes with a slow sigh as you brushed your fingers lightly up the thick shaft, feeling it jump and twitch under your light touch—how he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth when you brushed your other hand over the sensitive head, swore under his breath when you wrapped your fingers around it to drag the slick precum down his length.

As much as you ached for your own release, there was something even more exciting in watching his resolve melt away at your touch. You kept your gaze level with his face, stroking his rock hard erection slowly with both hands, waiting for him to open his eyes again. The subtle hitch in his breath when your gazes locked again was enough to spur you on, to strengthen your resolve a bit more. You bit your bottom lip lightly, deliberating for a moment, before speaking quietly.

“Should...should I use my mouth? I don’t—I don’t really kn—”

His breath caught again at your nervous murmur, far less subtly this time, and he cut you off by brushing his lips briefly to yours. You tightened your grip as he pushed his hips toward you, parting from the brief kiss with a low groan and throbbing hard in your hands. You felt his hand wrap tight around one of your wrists a moment later, stopping the torturous motion of your hands, and you watched the apple of his throat bob as he swallowed.

“Yes.” His breath was hot against your lips before he dipped his head back down and locked his lips to yours in a deeper, lingering kiss, his tongue pushing into your mouth to tangle with yours for a moment longer, his fingers gripping your hair to hold your head in place. He regained enough composure to chuckle softly as his lips parted from yours, but the sound of it was a bit breathless as he combed his fingers through your hair. “You’re quite the quick learner, pet.

You were slightly taken aback at how quickly he pulled himself up to his knees, unabashed at his own brief loss of composure. He shifted his hands to your shoulder and your hip, guiding you to shift onto your knees in front of him, eyes half-lidded and rapturous, his breathing rapid and shallow as he pushed a hand into your hair and guided your descent.

But...something stopped you.

It wasn’t your nervousness this time—you were a bit too far gone for that, too wrapped up in pleasure and anticipation for that to stop you.

It was something else. Something about the way he had spent all this time teasing and taunting you.

That made you inclined to do just the same.

His low growl of protest when you turned your head slightly to brush your lips to his muscular abdomen instead was like music to your ears. You felt his cock throb against your cheek as he gripped hard at your hair.

You turned your head and brushed you lips low a the base of his thick arousal, reveling in his low moan as he leaned back against the wall of the daybed alcove behind him and loosened his grip to comb his fingers through your hair.

“...infuriating little thing…” he grumbled amid a slow sigh as you grazed your lips slowly up the stiff length, tracing the veins along its surface, staring up to watch his expression, watch how he gritted his teeth and tensed his shoulders. He drew in a sharp breath when you slowly dragged the tip of your tongue over the smooth, bulbous head, flicking your tongue teasingly as you lifted your eyes again and met his gaze, wrapping your hand around the base of his thick shaft.

“I only wanted to show my appreciation, master,” you said innocently.

You saw the flicker in his eyes this time when you addressed him so subserviently, the lust that it breathed to life in him, and you were briefly overwhelmed with the knowledge that you were in control—if only for a moment, you were in control, and it sent a thrill through you that you hadn’t expected or ever experienced before through every inch of your body. He sighed again and laid his head back as you stroked your hand slowly up, back down, rubbing your palm over the head with each pass. You kept your gaze on his expression, still staring up at him in some mix of lingering nervousness and curiosity, and decided to test the waters, to see just how far you could push your newfound control, speaking in a quiet murmur.

“Would...it please my master if I sucked on it?”

You swallowed, biting your lip anxiously at the sound of his strained chuckle, barely able to see his smirk with his head tilted back against the wall behind him. “Then you do mean to see me lose composure.” He moved his hand to the nape of our neck, gathering your hair there to pull it away from your face. “I’ll allow it for now.” he stretched his arm out over one of the horizontal dividers along the window, and lifted your head enough to lock his eyes with yours. “Provided you do a good enough job.”

You hoped that wouldn’t be an issue—were fairly sure it wouldn’t be, with his fingers curled in your hair, already guiding you down again slowly. You kept your eyes on his, enjoying the newfound thrill you found in the sight of his faltering confidence as you wrapped your lips around the head and circled your tongue slowly around it; in the sharp breath of air he drew in through gritted teeth when you gave it a hard, brief suck, his grip tightening around your hair.

You heard him sigh as he guided you further down his length, and glanced up to see him rest his head back against the wall again, his eyes slipping shut, letting himself become lost in pure bliss.

There was no doubt he would be angry if you finished him like this—he had already told you he wasn’t done with you. You kept your pace steady, slowing down or releasing him whenever you felt him tense or needed to take a breath, when you felt him tug at your hair or tighten your grip painfully wherever his hand happened to be resting on your body, resuming the sensual torment only when he relaxed again. You were sure you would be covered with bruises bty morning from your waist to your rear, black and purple abrasions in the shape of his strong hands.

When you were sure he was composed, that you were at no risk of pushing him over the edge, you decided to try descending further—slowly, tensing your throat swallow the thick shaft down nearly to its base. He drew in a sharp breath through his teeth as you gagged, releasing it in a low, started groan as you felt his engorged cock throb hard between your lips, against the walls of your throat. His fingers dug into your hip nearly hard enough to break skin, and he jerked you up so hard by your hair that it drew a breathless cry of pain and alarm from you before his lips were crushed against yours to muffle it.

Your tension eased away amid the harsh, hungry kiss, and he pulled you forward to wrap your thighs around him with his hand resting against the small of your back. It slipped back to your hip as he withdrew his lips, pulling you down—until you gasped at the feeling of him pressing against your entrance. He pulled his hand down through your hair, leaving it resting against your jaw, watching you with hunger burning in his eyes as your own fluttered shut and you turned your cheek into the warmth of his palm, letting out a slow sigh against your parted lips.

“You’ll still tell me when you’re close.”

He punctuated the murmured command by brushing his lips to yours, almost gingerly. You lifted your hand to rest it against his, nodding shortly. You felt the pad of his thumb brush your bottom lip, still slick and slightly swollen, and reveled in the hitch in his breath and the throb of his cock between your thighs when you took the digit into your mouth and swirled your tongue around it briefly. He regained himself quickly as he spread your own saliva across your lips, and you opened your eyes at his light chuckling to find his yellow eyes alight with amusement, his gaze fixed on you.

“Such a deviant creature.” He pushed his thumb under your chin and pulled you forward by your jaw, so close you could feel the vibration of his murmur against your lips. “Do you take so much pleasure in trying to make me lose control?”

You your lip lightly at his smirk, but the way his gaze held yours made it impossible for you to avert your eyes away. He didn’t sound upset with you, didn’t look it—but that didn’t mean he wasn’t.

“Don’t lie,” he said teasingly. You swallowed...and gave a short nod—you had enjoyed seeing him lose his composure, however briefly. He laughed quietly again, and turned your head to brush his lips to your neck. “Naughty little thing.” You gasped as he pulled you down at your hip, only enough for you to feel the very tip of his erection beginning to stretch you open, wincing at the pressure. You knew it was going to be painful to take the full length and thickness of his cock—but you wanted it so badly now that it was difficult to care. “I ought to punish you for being so willful.”

In your frenzied desperation to feel more of him inside you, the threat sent a confusing wave of excitement through you that pulled a deep moan from your chest. He purred quietly against your neck, pulling his hand down to brush across your breasts, flicking his thumb across one of your sensitive nipples.

“I’m not sure I should let you come at all.”

But he pulled you down a little more, grunting as the sensitive head pushed into your tight entrance, and you whimpered as you contracted pleasurably around it—if he kept going this slowly then maybe it would hardly hurt at all.

“If I should even give you the pleasure of fucking you.” A little further, perhaps an inch, his slow, shaking sigh as he held himself back burning your neck like fire. “Or if I should just pull you off of me right now and take you back down to the dungeon.”

“N—no—” You gasped as he pushed his hips up, his fingers digging into your hip, holding you in place to push slowly into your body. “P—p-please don’t—master—” You shook your head quickly, swallowing as his lips trailed across your collarbone. “I-I’ll be good, I promise,” you breathed, lowering your gaze to watch him push your breast up, watch his mouth nearing the swell of the soft mound of flesh. “P...please…”

He purred quietly again, letting it drift into a few chuckles. “Oh, perhaps since you asked so sweetly,” he murmured. His lifted his eyes to yours briefly and added, “Soon, dear.”

You nodded quickly, so distracted by his mouth that you couldn’t have anticipated what else might be coming—he suddenly wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking at it hard, and your surprised moan rose into a cry of pain and alarm as he pulled you roughly down by your hip, thrusting his forward to meet yours, burying himself inside you. His low groan was muffled as he relinquished only a little, briefly pressing his forehead against your collarbone, grounding himself before taking the sensitive protrusion back into his mouth.

You hooked your arm around his neck, gripping at his shoulder with your other hand, your thighs shaking around his. His skilled tongue dancing across your nipple, the euphoric shockwaves coursing through you, mingling together with the pain and deep pressure of feeling him fully inside you, stretching you wider with each deep thrust….

It was all far too much.

You would definitely come soon if he didn’t relent, and he showed no sign of doing so as he shifted his attention toward your other breast, grazing his lips across your sternum and brushing a light, wet kiss to the stiffened nub at its peak that made you cry out.

“You’re awfully sensitive,” he breathed, tugging at your hip to guide your motion, to pull you repeatedly down onto him, ensuring your swollen clit ground down against the hard plane of his pelvis each time he rolled his up to meet you. He was trying to make you cum, trying to force you to defy him—to make you lose control, as you had so enjoyed doing to him. “You can’t be so close again already.”

You could only nod, unable to form any words between the quiet whimpers and brief, sharp moans that left your lips in time with each thrust.

“No wonder your so damned tight,” he growled out through gritted teeth. You gasped as he lifted his hand to grasp at your jaw and pull you into a deep, crushing kiss. He groaned into your mouth, and you met his tongue with your own in an answering moan when it delved between your lips. He broke away, only to trail his lips across your jaw.

“Ah—I—” You cried out as he lowered his head to brush his lips across your nipple again, flicking his tongue over it lightly, tightening around his cock as the pressure threatened to burst into the waves of euphoria you so desperately craved. “I’m c—c-close, ma—mas—”

“Are you really?” he teased. You tensed your thighs, fighting against it when he didn’t relent in the slightest—digging your fingertips into his shoulder when he only sped up, letting out a breathless chuckle in his amusement. “Surely you’re bluffing.”

“I—n-no, sir—I-I swear—”

He pulled his hand down the place of your stomach, and you let out a breathless cry at the pleasure of his fingertips pressing down against your overstimulated clit, as the small bud twitched and jumped beneath his firm touch. From his purr of approval he must have felt the involuntary response beneath the pads of his fingers.

“I suppose you aren’t,” he murmured in your ear, and you could all but hear him smirking. “I do still owe you a reward for how adeptly you used your lovely mouth.” He brushed a delicate, tender kiss to the corner of your lips, and lowered his voice even further. “Then you may ride me until you finish.”

You sighed shakily as he slowed his quick, hard thrusting, loosing his grip on your hip and letting you take control. His breath left him in a slow sigh as he curled his arm around your back, lifted his hand to brush your hair out of your eyes and back behind your ear. You rolled your hips slowly, hooking your other arm around his neck as you fought to catch your breath, savoring how he throbbed and twitched against your tightening walls, how the round head rubbed so pleasurably against the center of arousal within you.

“That’s it,” he sighed, and brushed his lips to your neck as you moaned softly, lying your head back. “Nice and slow. No need to rush.” You deepened the soft kiss he pressed to your lips, dragging your fingertips down the hard plane of his chest, his murmur a warm vibration against your swollen lips. “Enjoy yourself as long as you wish, pretty girl.”

Now that he was finished tormenting you for your audacity at breaking his composure, his sole focused seemed to shift to dragging out your pleasure for as long as possible, letting you use him to your heart’s content.

And drag it out you did—you had no idea how much time passed, only that your body was growing weak from both immeasurable ecstasy and overuse, that your breathing was growing more labored by the minute, that there was a subtle flush staining even his high cheekbones as his breath shuddered out from between his lips. You lifted your hand, stroking your fingertips lightly across the flushed skin as he trailed his lips up your jaw.

He was close to the edge as well—you noticed it abruptly, from the lust flooding his gaze to the rock hard rigidness of his cock, throbbing and jerking within you with nearly every unbearably slow stroke. He was fighting the compulsion of his own release only to ensure your own pleasure at this point.

“C...close now,” you forced out on a trembling sigh—and added quickly, “s—sir.”

He gave a quiet growl against your jaw, his lips still ghosting over your skin there. “I should think so,” he murmured. “I have been depriving you for the better part of the past hour.”

You cried out as he pulled you down hard, thrusting his hips up to slam into you with an answering groan, immediately increasing his pace again—and you did as well as he pushed his hand between your bodies, rubbing his fingers against your clit, leaving you trembling all over at the swelling pressure beneath his touch, swelling until it was ready to burst.

“Now,” he breathed, wrapping his arm tight around you to grip your ass and hold you in place as he thrust into you, harder and harder, grunting and pressing his lips to the crook of your neck. “Come for me now. Let me feel it.”

“I-I—mmph—” You gasped as he bit down on the tender skin, groaning himself as he sped up even more, every deep thrust threatening to shove you straight over the edge. You felt your clit tightening, your thighs trembling as you drew closer, closer, unbearably close, your own voice far away and unfamiliar in its heightened pitch. “I—m-master—I’m—”

You barely heard his deep groan under your own sharp, unrestrained cry as the ecstasy of your release flooded through you—barely felt the pain of his hand digging into your hip as he thrust into you one final time and filled you with his own intense orgasm, pulling you slowly onto him to ride the waves of shared euphoria, his low, shaking moans vibrating in the crook of your neck. Your thighs continued their trembling even as the rest of your body slowly relaxed, as you rolled your hips to match his slow, deep strokes, your moans dissolving into breathless whimpering.

You lifted a shaking hand into his hair as he brushed a kiss into the crook of your neck, against your shoulder, your jaw, lifting his own hand to the nape of your neck to pull your lips to his for a slow, deep, sensual kiss. His eyes remained closed when his lips drifted away, his breathing nearly as labored as yours. He pushed his hand further into your hair, and the sensation of his fingertips brushing across your scalp drew goosebumps all over your body, sent a small shiver down your spine.

“You’ll join me in my chambers tonight.” Your breath caught when he opened his eyes, leaving them half-lidded as he kept your gazes locked, his forehead pressed lightly against yours. “I want my darling pet warming my bed, not chained and hidden away in the dungeon. You’ll behave, won’t you?” He lifted a hand to your cheek as you nodded quickly in agreement, brushed his thumb lightly across your bottom lip, his own lips twitching into a ghost of a smirk as he rubbed his hand slowly along the soft curve of your hip. “Good girl.”

[bring-forth-his-sac]

Thank you sm (I’m the anon who sent the ask) 🥹 & wow I’m so shocked you’ve only wrote a couple drabbles/imagines because it was honestly so well written! I saw a prompt on pinterest for “you make me proud, you know that right?” & it’s where the reader/character is pregnant & negan is just all soft & proud of her if that makes sense 🥹 if you don’t wanna write this topic it’s all good don’t worry!!! 🫶🏻

thank you so much for the request!! I hope you enjoy <3

Summary: Negan realises you’re insecure about becoming a parent and gives you some much needed reassurance 

Pairing: Negan x Pregnant!Reader 

Tags: Pregnancy symptoms, insecurity, lewd and suggestive language, swearing, fluff, Negan being a big ol’ softie, pet names, praise and reassurance 

Word Count: 2k

You don’t know it, and that baffles Negan.

He knows you don’t know. He can see it in those little moments when you don’t think anyone is paying attention.

At this point, Negan is acutely attuned to all of your tells. He sees the emotional tug-of-war within you every morning when you study the new changes to your body. Usually Negan pays subtle attention whenever he sees you looking in the mirror, making a mental note of what body part to praise more during your next session under the sheets.

He sees the sparkle of humour in your eyes as you announce that you, yet again, for about the sixth time, need to go pee because the baby keeps kicking near your bladder.

Negan absolutely loves to see that pouty look of determination you have plastered across your face whenever he tries to help you complete a simple chore. Despite the slow waddling and frequent breaks you need, you’ve been hellbent on still helping out while pregnant. 

Negan appreciates your refusal to shy away from the more "risky" household tasks, like climbing up on a step ladder to paint the higher parts of the wall in the baby’s nursery. Although he didn’t mind being the one to hold the ladder, it just meant he got to stare at your ass while silently praying you don't fall— a win-win situation, if you ask him.

And yet, you still don’t know. Or maybe you just don’t realise it.

He always picks up on that insecure tone of yours. It usually creeps out every now and again but it has been rearing it’s ugly head more often since the pregnancy. If it wasn’t so concerning, it would amaze Negan that you seriously don’t know how good of a mother you’ll be, or how amazing you’re taking on this pregnancy.

Negan sighs, stretching out on the couch as he reminisces. Only a couple of more months from now and he’ll be looking back on the days he didn’t have to burp a baby and stay up half the night cooing at them. 

As he contemplates the sleepless nights and endless cries ahead, Negan can't help but feel a surge of excitement. He's well aware that in those moments, when he's exhausted and cleaning up baby vomit at 4:30 am, he won't necessarily feel thrilled, but goddammit he just can’t wait to meet the little shit!

He snaps out of his thoughts as you emerge from the bedroom, huffing to yourself. “Looking for something, Momma?” Negan teases affectionately, a lazy grin on his face.

“I forgot shoes,” you announce more to yourself than to him.

“Hmm?” Negan hums, not exactly sure he heard you correctly.

“The shoes,” you reiterate “I never got shoes!”. 

Negan struggles to suppress a laugh at how seriously you’re talking about shoes. He’s well acquainted with how up and down your emotions have been since getting pregnant and so he’s trying his best to be more mindful.

“Sweetness, what shoes?” he asks, keeping his tone soft “we got plenty of shoes just laying around the place”.

The second you leave out another sigh, Negan opens his arms to you, silently inviting you to join him. You waste no time in padding over, practically collapsing into his embrace. “I meant shoes for the baby,” you clarify with a frown “we managed to find clothes, socks, bibs but I forgot about shoes! We can’t have the baby going around without shoes on!”.

It takes a moment for Negan to register your words before he slowly replies “I don’t think newborns do much walking”.

Leaving out yet another exasperated sigh, you lift your legs up, lounging on the couch and using Negan as your pillow. “I know the baby won’t be running around the place straight away but...” you pause, silently scowling at yourself “they’re shoes! How the fuck could I forget shoes?! Like, everyone has shoes! So the baby needs shoes too!”.

Negan peers down at you, trying his best to take in your cranky expression. For a moment, he wonders if it's direct towards him for not thinking of shoes either but then you mumble “I can’t fuck up the basic shit like this…”.

And just like that, everything clicks into place for Negan.

Despite his shock at hearing it, there’s no denying the insecurity in your tone. Even though he knew you were nervous about the baby coming, he didn’t think you’d actually beat yourself up over the little things like shoes – how could you? With the amazing things your body is doing, who gives a fuck about shoes?! …Besides you, that is.

Nevertheless, the vulnerability in your voice catches him off guard. Shifting to hold you properly on the couch, Negan’s arms wrap around you, his hands going straight for your bump. You instinctively snuggle against him, your back against his chest as you rest your head by his shoulder and mindlessly trace patterns on his forearm. 

“You ever just stop and think about it?” he asks, his voice oddly dreamy, a tone you don’t normally hear from him.

“About what?” you ask, growing warm in his embrace. 

“Your body took the spunk I fucked into you and you’re making a goddamn baby out of it! I mean, right now, this very second you’re making a mini us out of nothing but your egg and my jizz!” he laughs in pure disbelief, feeling his heart melt at his own words as pride takes over.

You try not to wince at his colourful description of conception.

With a wide grin, Negan continues “Here you are, cuddling up on me as if you’re body ain’t growing through hell. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Darlin’. Carrying life that we’re after making… you’re a goddamn badass”.

“I’ll make sure to give myself some credit the next time I forget about getting shoes… or some other basic thing for the baby” you sulk, showing off that stubborn quality of yours he loves so much.

He shakes his head affectionately, straining forward to try and see your face. “Hon, you’ve got a lot going on right now, and you’re dealing with a lot of new, stressful stuff,” Negan tries to put your mind at ease “It’s totally reasonable that you’d forget some things. And so what if the baby doesn’t have shoes straight away, it ain’t like they’re going anywhere. It’s not gonna make you a bad mother, you gotta stop thinking that way”.

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment before you slowly begin to open up ”But if I can't even get the little things right, like the shoes, then I’m bound to mess up the bigger things too! And I can’t do that, especially when the baby arrives".

As you speak, you feel yourself that familiar sense of insecurity flare up. You tilt your head up and your eyes look up to meet his gaze, searching for reassurance.

Negan exhales, a content smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite your worrisome expression. After all, how can he not smile while he has you in his arms, pregnant with his baby? His own happy little family, despite everything he has done in life. Now all he wishes for is for you to see just how damn perfect you are, how perfect you have made his life. 

“Darlin’, you’re gonna get stressed and forget things, and fuck up every once in a while. That’s how parenting is. Nobody is a perfect parent. We’re both gonna have our moments and that’s a-ok” he explains, bringing one hand away from your bump to gently cup your face, subtly making sure you keep looking at him “you know why I’m so relaxed about it all?”.

“Because you’re not the one carrying the baby? Or dealing with morning sickness? Or because you won’t have to push out a literal child in a few months?”.

He gives you a quick deadpan look, managing to keep it playful before he reverts back to sincerity “I’m relaxed because I know that even when I’m dealing with a baby that’ll be drooling all over me or screeching in my face in the middle of the night, I know you’ll be right next to me, and that’s all I need”.

His gaze remains fixed on you, drinking in your features intently as he holds your face. For a second, Negan gets lost in thought and silently wishes the baby will have your nose.

“You make me proud, you know that, right?” he strokes his thumb across your cheek “so, so goddamn proud”.

You can't help but smile bashfully in response, feeling a bit self-conscious. In a sweet attempt to hide your expression, you pull your face away from Negan’s hand and nestle yourself closer to him, concealing your face. Accepting compliments has never been your strong suit.

“C’mon, don’t go hiding on me now,” he chuckles, gently searching for your face  “I wanna hear you say it, to make sure you know”. 

Defiantly turning to your side, you use both the couch and Negan’s own arm as a shield to keep your face hidden. He grins, amused by your attempt at avoiding his words. He pokes your side, his voice a mix of teasing and affection.

"You know you make me proud, right?" he repeats with a hint of playfulness in his tone, as if trying to coax you into admitting it “riiiiiiiiiiiiiight?”

Negan doesn't show any mercy, transitioning from playful pokes to relentless tickling. Your body trembles as laughter escapes your lips, struggling to shield vulnerable ticklish spots while simultaneously attempting to fend off his hands. Your head perks up again, a light blush on your cheeks; whether it’s from the sudden tickle attack or Negan’s praise is anyone’s guess.

Between bouts of laughter, you manage to get out a word, struggling to speak through the giggles "R-right!". 

Negan beams, happy you agree. Before you can think, he takes advantage of your unguarded face to plant a quick, chaste kiss on your lips - as if the tickling didn’t leave you breathless already.

Negan's voice becomes a sultry purr as he whispers "How about I show you just how proud I am of you? Actions do speak louder than words and all that shit...". His warm breath caresses your skin as he speaks, his intentions alone sending a shiver down your spine.

A pleased hum escapes your lips, already liking the sound of this. “Works for me,” you agree, biting back a smile as you stand.

Before your pregnancy and even in the early stages, you didn't mind ‘doing it’ anywhere, but now that you've reached the second trimester, the comfort of the bed has become more appealing. Negan has never been particular about where y’all get freaky either way, although he does like how you can both comfortably cuddle afterwards if you do it on the bed.

As soon as Negan stands, he gently checks to make sure you're steady on your feet. When you both begin walking towards the bedroom, you suddenly change direction. 

Negan's expression morphs into confusion as you abruptly pivot and walk towards the bathroom. Looking back over your shoulder, you try not to swoon at the endearingly baffled expression on his face. “Just give me a second, with you tickling me and the baby bouncing on my bladder, I need to pee again” you shrug, waddling off to the bathroom.

As the sound of the bathroom door closing reaches his ears, Negan can't help but chuckle affectionately. In the meantime, he strolls into the bedroom and plops himself down on the bed, making himself comfortable as he waits for your return. His gaze fixates on the ceiling above as a smile plays on his lips once more, a warm feeling of anticipation stirring within him.

Sometimes, Negan finds himself wondering if all the hardships and disappointments he's endured in life were necessary because they were all part of some cosmic plan that led him to you. Or at least that’s what he tells himself so all that pain feels like it was worth it because it brought him to you. 

Negan isn’t exactly sure how he did it or what he did to deserve all of this luck, but goddamn he struck gold having you in his life.

And he knows that for certain.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

"The Best Gift He Can Give." Mickey Altieri X AFAB! Reader.

Okay, so the amazing and fantastic @mrsaltieri-real had a birthday a while ago, and I wrote this as a gift. I edited it to make it reader insert friendly and now I am sharing it with all of you! I hope you all enjoy it.

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Rating. Explicit. Length. 5.4K. Mickey Altieri X AFAB! Reader. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: Your Boyfriend David Fucking Sucks. Your Boyfriend Cheats On You. Apologies To Dudes Named David Who Don't Suck. Stalking. Breaking And Entering. Murder. Blood. Gore. Violence. Making Out. Grinding. Vaginal Fingering. Eating Out. Eating Ass. Hair Pulling. Spanking. Praise. Degredation. Rimming. Vaginal Sex. Cream Pie. Confessions Of Feelings.

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There are people in this world who do not deserve anything. They don’t deserve kindness, or understanding, they don’t deserve friends, they don’t even deserve to breathe. One such asshole was your boyfriend, David. You don’t even know why he is your boyfriend, honestly you’ve had friends ask, and you are never sure much what to say. He treats you terribly, he is mean to you, rude, constantly picks fights, and it isn’t like you can say, “Well at least the sex is good-”

Because it is very much not. You’d been together for four years, and it had never been good.

Mickey didn’t know about that, though. All he knew to start is that you were cute, and he liked how you looked, the rest started to become revealed to him through watching you over time. He remembers the first afternoon he started to pick up on that very clearly. He was in the library, one table over, trying to do some actual work, sure he wasn’t paying for his degree, but he couldn’t exactly flunk out either, and he overheard an interaction, “Do you have to turn your pages so loud?”

Your head snaps up, looking over to him, Mickey’s own eyes flick up, but his head doesn’t raise, brows furrow in question mirroring yours as you ask, “Excuse me?”

“You are turning the pages of your book really loudly-” He drew out your name, focused on it, and that made your expression turn from somewhat annoyed confusion to outright disgust, a roll of your eyes. “Fuck off David.” 

His tone made Mickey’s skin crawl, “Sooo mature, this is a library, can’t you keep it down and show some class?” 

Mickey had to fight to keep his jaw from dropping, who the fuck was this guy, and why was he so comfortable talking to you like that? He thought boyfriends were supposed to be fucking nice to their girlfriends, and here he was treating you like he hated you, as if you were shit on the bottom of his shoe.

That was not the only time he saw you being treated so shamefully by David, either. Seems whenever he overheard, walked by, you were being talked down to by him or already mid-fight. 

Worse still he would complain about what you wore deriding any skin you wanted to show, and what you were into, he’d overheard him belittling your love of movies too. “How the fuck can you do that shit?”

“Do what shit, David?” You sighed, and he asked, “What the same fucking movies over and over, don’t you ever get bored?”

Your reply comes out almost bored, edging on annoyed, “Those same movies over and over are definitely more interesting than talking to you so-” 

“Woooow, is that any way to talk to me?” He’d ask, and Mickey would think to himself that you should treat him a Hell of a lot worse for how he acts.

You and Mickey had been friends in secret for a while, it had been a very quiet affair, mostly because David would be threatened and jealous, something that bugged Mickey, but he was just glad for the time spent with you and to get to know you. Small moments carved out whenever that prick wasn’t around became absurdly meaningful. 

One day he found you alone on a park bench on campus and seemingly very upset, he couldn’t leave you like that, your boyfriend isn’t around and so he comes forward until he is close enough to ask, “Hey uh, you good?”

Head raises, and you sniff, hands rushing to wipe at your nose and mouth, you nod shakily, mouth dry as you say, “Yeah, totally, so, so good.” 

He lets himself smile this kind of sad smile as he sits down beside you, humming out, “Why don’t I believe you?”

“Leave it alone.” You sigh, and he presses, “No way, there has to be a reason you’re this upset and I wanna know.” 

You slump back further into the bench, averting your gaze as you confess, “You caught me, M’ not good at all. I just found out that my boyfriend fucking cheated on me.” 

Immediate anger flares as does genuine concern for you, both emotions taking hold makes his eyebrows raise and his hand reach out to touch your elbow, your attention snaps back to him. Your eyes meet, and he says, “You can talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about?” It’s said very quietly, and his grip on you tightens by a fraction as he encourages, “Plenty. It isn’t healthy to keep this shit bottled up, what he did was fucked, talk to me about it.” 

You haven’t opened up in such a long time but right now, something in his eyes beckons you and the urge overtakes, you feel safe and think, maybe you should open up. Your stomach is churning, and you think, what harm could it do? You start to tell him, a verbal torrent that once it began it was impossible to stop, as you vent about David and the series of horrible things he had put you through in your relationship. He listens, and only when you stop for breath does he say, “You don’t deserve to be treated like this, you could do so much better than an asshole like him.”

A small shrug as you brush him off, “It’s easier to stay in this relationship because it’s all I’ve ever known. Even if I broke things off with him, he’d never really let me go.”

“What do you mean he wouldn’t let you go?” His question isn’t entirely unexpected, but you still struggle for a moment to respond, “I dunno, I just…I know he would put up a massive fight, and I couldn’t ever just make a clean break. He wouldn’t let that happen.” 

He licks his lips tentatively, an almost nervous action, “He…He doesn’t own you. Hon, you know that, right?”

You looked over at Mickey and said quietly, unconvincingly, “I know that.” 

He wasn’t sold. He hated the look in your eyes right now. Not only that, but he tried to break the tension and asked, “Is the sex that good or-?”

You laughed, head tipping back, genuine smile crossing your face, you shake your head as you catch your breath and tell him, “God no, it’s terrible! So vanilla, nothing but missionary, he never even eats me out.” You exhale and expound further, “He expects me to blow him too.” 

“Fuck off no way.” His reaction pulled another laugh out of you, and he insists, “You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was.” You sighed. He speaks with conviction, anger but not at you, never at you, more frustration at your situation and how you seemingly have just accepted it. “Why the fuck do you put up with this asshole? Seems like you are doing all the giving with no take.” 

A shrug as you tell him, refusing to look at him any longer, “I’ve grown used to it, it’s been just so long of the same thing, you know?” 

That was fucking bullshit. Sunk cost fallacy much? Clearly you were never going to get out from under this jerk’s thumb on your own, so he was going to do something about this. It would take some work, but you were more than worth it. He started to stalk him, determined to get real dirt on him, he learns his routine and becomes far too acquainted with even the most basic and mundane things about your boyfriend. 

It doesn’t take him long, around a month in is when Mickey catches David in the act of cheating, he was fucking some girl from his film class. 

It was infuriating! Here he has you, a total fucking catch, and he doesn’t appreciate you, mistreats you, and cheats on you on top of all that. What a complete piece of fucking trash. 

He has every intention of telling you when he has the adequate proof-

Wait.

What if he tells you and you still stay? You seemed so downtrodden, what if not even this is enough to convince you to leave? Fuck, that would be terrible, but he couldn’t let that hold him back. 

He just needed to stay on task, stay focused, and this could work out. He clung closer, tried to be around you more and provide more support, but that, as it turns out, only made it harder. Having to be confronted so frequently with the damage he was doing to you, how sad you were, it made him hurt in kind. He really fucking cared about you.

On top of all of this, his presence is apparently putting more pressure on your relationship. He comes across you and David having a loud and public altercation a few days later, as he gets closer he realizes it is about him. 

“You can’t tell me what to do!” You insist, and David bites back, “Oh, can’t I?”

“No! You can’t! What is the problem anyway?” You try to implore, and he isn’t having it, “I don’t like him! No, scratch that, I fucking hate him. You shouldn’t be talking to any guy, I don’t want you to even look in his direction-”

“You are so ridiculous-” 

He can’t stay. He can’t listen to this. Furthermore, he can’t stand idly by any longer. He is going to do something about this. 

Breaking into David’s place was easy, taking his time is what was difficult. He eases into his bedroom, costume on, knife already in his hand, and comes up to the bed. You were back at your own place, far away and hopefully peacefully sleeping, blissfully unaware of just what he was about to do for you, of the devotion he has and was about to display. 

He wanted to spit in the fucker’s face for what he did to you, more than that he wanted to main and mutilate him, wanted to inflict as much physical pain onto him as he inflicted mental pain onto you. He reached down, he ripped the blanket back, and with one smooth motion he stabbed the sharp blade into David’s stomach. 

The reaction was immediate, his eyes snapping open, mouth open in a soundless scream as it seems all the air leaves him, hands flying to his stomach trying to clutch at the blade but stopping short, afraid to touch the intrusion. He ripped the knife out and then stabbed it back in, immediately. He twists, David inhaled as much as he could but then breathed out, hiccuping on the air, it becomes a complete bloodbath. Mickey cuts, he stabs, he hurts him as he can’t hold back, and David chokes out, “Why?”

Mickey laughs, this cold and calculating kind of laugh before he takes the mask off, and then he starts to talk, “You are a pathetic excuse for a man, a worthless piece of trash-” 

The knife is ripped out and brought back down harder than before, the steel scrapes bone, and he sobs, “-you don’t deserve someone like her, you know that, right? You’ve been mistreating her for way too long.”

The metal wrenched free and then drove deeply inward again, the next sound of pain is a short gasp, Mickey tells him further, “That is why I am doing this, I am going to step in and take over.” 

David looked so pitiful, tears down his cheek, bloodstained and movements slowing, weakening. Mickey leaned down and told him lowly,“I’m going to make her feel so, SO much better than you ever did.” 

He is unrecognizable. Organs are laying all around him, cuts on his face making it, so his identity is basically gone, partially skinned in places. He wished he could have taken the time to skin him alive, fillet him like a fucking fish, but even that would be too good for him. He is sure that he has drained him of about half of his blood, the mattress is soaked, heavy and thick, there is a squelching sound when Mickey gets off the bed. The blood has soaked through the robe, it is staining his shirt and jeans he is positive of it, the handle of the knife is slick, he can feel coagulated blood that has gathered between his fingers, the clots are slippery and almost black.

There is one place he wants to be and it’s with you.

He goes to your place. 

It is obscenely late when you open the door, you are in your pyjamas, you look fucking gorgeous to him. 

“Mickey?” You rub over your eyes, suppressing a yawn, you ask, “What are you doing here?”

He pushes past you, comes inside as he starts to talk, “I had to come see you, I just did something amazing tonight-”

You close the door, he is talking quickly, a mile a minute, excited, manic. “I was thinking about what told me about David and I just got so fucking inspired, you know? So I decided I just had to do it, so I did but, darling, you need to tell me, what else didn’t he do for you?”

“What he didn’t do?” You repeat, softer, confused, and he nods, brows raised and eyes alight, mischievous, “Yes, tell me all the things he doesn’t do for you.”

It is then that you take him in awake enough to register, and notice what he is wearing. A black robe, almost plastered to his body, your eyes flit downwards, and you see that it’s shiny in a particular way that tattles on it being wet, but wet with what? Eyes catch red droplets on the ground coming off of the frayed edged of the black fabric, your gaze shoots back up. You smell the iron, and you see the small flecks of red on his face, and so the question tumbles out, “What is with the robe and is that fucking blood?”

This half smile on his face and a cock of his head as he tells you as if it couldn’t be more obvious, “I just killed David. For you sweetheart.”

You don’t feel angry or upset, to your complete surprise, you feel an insane and immense sense of relief that David is gone. You no longer have to put up with him. 

A sharp inhale as the feeling sinks in, you let it wash over you, not fighting it, letting it soak into your bones. Another question spills out as you ask, “What did you do to him?”

His grin is so wide you worry it hurts his face. 

“I snuck into his apartment, broke in with no issue, I crept into his bedroom and I stabbed a knife-” He brought one foot up, boot rested on the chair at your desk, hauling up the robe, careful not to get blood on more than he had already his hand grasps the hand of the knife. He unsheathes it from the holster that was strapped to his leg, his foot comes back down, he is holding the knife up, you can see the dried blood all over the blade and his hand, he continues to expound, “-this knife, into his stomach.”

He mimics the motion, smile still pulling his features tight, “He gasped and struggled, it was pathetic. I ran him through over and over, the sound was wet, the blood gushed.” 

A sigh crosses his lips, he is looking down at the blade, turning it over in his hands. You, too, are fixated on the glinting metal as it moves from one hand to the next. He keeps talking. “You’d think sound would be a concern. That he’d be screaming his fucking head off, right?”

You look up, he is staring at your face, expectant, you respond to the question, a shaky nod. He continues on, a point of his knife, “Wrong. When you stab someone right, it sucks all the air out of their lungs.” The images his is giving fills your head, of David lying there, bleeding and as Mickey put it, pathetic. He is still expounding. “I was relentless, kept stabbing him, he had no chance to catch his breath. You can’t scream if you can’t breathe.”

You listen enthralled as he describes how he cut flesh from bone, how chunks fell away, digging fingers into open wounds, manually separating cartilage and skin and muscle apart just because he could. He speaks of how much blood he drained and by the end of it you were breathing much harder as was he. Almost no space between the pair of you.

He is looking in your eyes, and he speaks, “I ask again, what did he never do for you?” 

You can’t help it, inquiring, “Why do you want to know so bad?” 

“Because sweetheart-” He sets the knife down on your desk, his hand reaches out to take yours, tacky with partially dried crimson, and he says, “-baby, darling, I want to make you feel all the things you’ve missed out on the past few years.” 

You are as explicit in describing what you’d been missing as he was when describing the violence he did to David. 

“He never made me cum with his mouth, his dick, not even his fingers. I haven’t felt a hot tongue on my clit in fucking years.” You start, a deep inhale before you force it out, speak in hushed tones, “He only ever fucked me in missionary, he never put a hand on my throat and choked me, never pulled my hair, he never praised me, fuck, Mick, he never even degraded me.”

You sigh now, “Never spanked me, never ate my ass, God do I want someone to eat my ass and above all else, he never overstimulated me-”

He cut you off. His mouth crashing into yours after far too long, he kisses you deeply, and you fall into it, into him. A moan into his mouth, hands reach out, fingers tangle in the sleeves, they feel damp, you flex your fingers, you squeeze, beads of blood squeeze through your fingers. Your tongue runs over his bottom lip, and you revel in the taste of him. Christ it was never like this with David, a simple kiss with Mickey was serving to do you in, the graze of his lips against yours, of his tongue brushing yours was sending sparks throughout you. 

Feet stumble back, you pull him with you, keep him near, unwilling to break the connection you’ve made and yet you do, a quiet mumbling of, “Get this fucking robe off-”, pulling on his sleeves for further emphasis. The contact is broken for him to listen and obey, he pulls the robe off and drops it onto the floor, the blood has soaked through to his t-shirt he was wearing, and again you are confronted with what he did. He killed David for you, the evidence of his care for you, of his total devotion is splattered all over him, plastering his shirt to him, soaked into thin fabric. 

This time, you are pulling him back to you, greedy and needy as you do so. Mouths meet again as you are moving backward, the back of your knees hit the edge of your mattress, and you let yourself fall, tugging him down with you. 

His leg slots between yours as his lips descend on yours again, you sink further into the mattress as he, in turn, sinks into you, melting into the contact, his leg presses closer, knee is tighter to you and that makes you inhale sharply. That sets something off in him. 

One of his hands moves, threads in your hair, and he tugs, it forcefully breaks the kiss and pulls a moan from you at the delicious rush of pain. His mouth moves, presses over your jaw, down your throat, and he makes your hips move on their own, grinding against him, desperate for more already. A squirm of your hips as you drag your clothed slit against his solid thigh, and the wash of pleasure makes you have to suppress a shudder, a whining moan held back as well as you bite your bottom lip. 

He notices immediately, pulling back from your neck, another tug of your hair, and he makes you look at him, “None of that shit, I don’t fucking care how late it is, I don’t care if every son of a bitch on this entire floor files a noise complaint, I want to hear you, no holding back.”

You are stunned, speechless, your hips shift, and you are drenched, underwear plastered to you and one of his hands locks onto your throat, he squeezes and says, “I’m not hearing you say yes.” 

You just cannot believe everything you’ve ever wanted has fallen into your lap, you choke out, “Yes, yes, please, fucking yes-”

He shuts you up with another kiss and that is how things seriously escalate, both of you rushing to undress each other. You hadn’t been wearing much to sleep, the tank top and shorts were removed, his shirt and shoes are off now, and he stops. You are looking up at him, admiring him the same way he is you, even with almost all his clothing removed there is still the mark of the crime he committed, blood left on his torso after leaking through his shirt, splatters on his arms, the small flecks on his face. He is looking at you like you are a full meal with nothing more in his way than damp lace, “Fucking Christ-”

He sighs, his fingers trace the curve of your breast before he fully takes it in his hand, he looks helpless in regard to what he wants to do, he follows the impulse, he leans down, and his mouth latches onto one of your nipples. His tongue circles and you sigh, arching up into him. 

His teeth graze as one of his hands slips between your thighs, he only gets one pass of his fingers over the wet material before he decides that isn’t good enough. Fingers hook in the thin garment, and he pulls, he hopes you didn’t give a shit about them because he cannot be bothered to remove them properly, he pulls until it rips and throws it aside. No chance of you complaining because his fingers are on you, strong digits press to you bare for the first time. 

Your eyes roll back with a soft, “Oh my fucking God-” which Mickey absolutely eats up as he starts to move, fingers trace slowly, dipping low, catching some mess and dragging it up, using it as lube to rub your clit. 

The increase in pleasure was immediate, your body slowly starts to tense as the feeling digs into your bones, you fully give in to what he is doing to you. 

“Do you know how much I’ve poured over this?” He asks, and you say quietly, “No.” 

“So many nights.” He confesses, his fingers pick up the pace, tight circles rubbed, and he tells you more, “I’d think about this, about having you under me, about doing-” Two fingers ease inside of you, and he moans like it’s his pleasure, breathing out, “-this.” 

“You feel better than I ever thought you could, so fucking wet, so soft.” He groans, and you arch closer, his palm presses nearer, he moves and works with you, fingers curling into that sweet spot and hand grinding over your clit. You listen, and you feel, minutes later, very quickly between his hushed words and expert touch you are shivering and telling him, “M’ close Mickey-” 

“Fuck yes, do it.” The firm command makes it impossible to stop, you tip over and cum. It feels phenomenal, it’s been ages since anyone has done this, showed this level of care and investment in your enjoyment. He doesn’t relent, keeps his pace steady and consistent, and draws out every bit of feeling he can from your high. 

He doesn’t let you rest, your body sinks back into the mattress, you are panting, and he slides his fingers out of you and right into his mouth. Not only that, but he tastes you for the first time and moans from the salt and tang of you coating his tongue. 

“You taste better than anything I’ve ever put in my mouth.” He slips down your body, drags of his lips lighting further fire in you until he settles between your thighs, his mouth latches onto your still very sensitive clit and your thighs clamp around his head immediately. Your hand shoots down, fingers in his stupidly attractive hair, and you moan loudly, just as he wants you to. 

He was ravenously hungry but still taking his time with this, he forces himself to slow down just a touch, he knows you haven’t had this in years thanks to that douchebag of an ex-boyfriend. He laps at your leaking slit, from hole all the way up to your throbbing clit, he swirls his tongue around the boarders once, twice, three times before passing over it again, making you gasp out his name. 

Mickey luxuriates in the act and does his best to ensure that you do as well, sucks with purpose and is quickly rocketing you to another orgasm, you can barely string together a sentence to warn him of that, but he knows, fingers twist further in his hair, and you pull with a cry of his name, in another two short minutes you are cumming again, it’s stronger than the first, you are louder than you were last time, but he continues. He doesn’t stop on your come down, he just slows, goes lighter, his licks are running up the length of you, between your lips and on top of your twitching bud, over and over, methodical, and you can’t stop shaking. 

Somehow through the haze of pleasure you manage to speak, calling out to him, “Mi-Mickey, oh my fucking God-”

He lifts his mouth, you expect him to give you a breather or to give some pithy response that will turn you on further and make you leak more, but instead his hands are on your hips, he tilts them up and his tongue dives lower. His tongue circles over your asshole, and you actually sob, shocked and broken from the sudden stab of ecstasy that hits your gut, your hand leaving his hair, instead gripping at the sheets. You can’t stop from squirming, which makes his job harder, you hear something that sounds akin to a mildly annoyed growl. 

One of his hands lifts off your hip, and he lands a firm smack on your ass as he grits out, “Stop squirming so much babe, let me make you feel good.” 

He gets back to it and your head is thrown back against the pillows, you try, you really do, but his tongue flicks just so and your body bucks. He instead flips you over onto your stomach roughly manhandling you, one hand pulling your hips up, and he dives back in tongue first. He eats your ass with passionate fervour, whenever you buck too much he reminds you to behave with another hit to your ass cheek. His hand that wasn’t on your hip slides under, and he circles your clit with fast and clever fingers. 

The sharp slaps of pain and combined with him being tongue deep in your ass and rubbing your clit makes you cum embarrassingly fast yet again and harder still, legs trembling so much you almost fall on your face, with an ample gush onto his chin while sobbing his name into the pillow.  

When you stopped shaking he came up, another smack to your ass, his chest to your back as he leans down and praises right in your ear, “Oh good fucking girl.”

You start to babble out into the damp pillowcase, “Mi-Mickey, ‘lease, fuck me, need you-”

He hums, and you hear his belt open, finally getting his pants open, he inhales sharply in relief, the pressure easing from him opening his pants. The rest of his clothes are discarded, and he pauses. His hand on your sore ass, right on the spot he kept hitting over and over, his thumb traces down, spreading your lips, over your hole, and he sighs, “I have been dying to get inside this cunt.”

He lines up, he pushes his hips forward and sinks deep inside you, in one swift and smooth motion. The moan you share is like music, beautiful, melodic, passionate collaboration. His hand goes into your hair, he fucks you like that, face down ass up, he starts a quick pace initially, rough, needy and you love it. His body is covering yours as he breathes into your ear, “You feel incredible, oh my God-” His head tips back with a loud moan, he drives into you over and over, “-fucking stunning too, you are so gorgeous.” 

It has been entirely too long since you’ve been fucked in any position other than missionary. The sensation, his weight on your back, the sound of skin on skin, his breath in your ear, it’s fucking perfection. You rock back with him, meet him in the middle, you were giving back, showing just how desperately you want him in kind makes Mickey let out this sound, caught between a groan and something more possessive, not explicitly words, but it hits you low in your gut. 

He starts to slow down, takes a little more time, and you are moaning louder and louder, you are so worked up, so sensitive, you feel alive and electric. On one level it feels like you can feel every ridge and vein of him and on another like you can’t determine up from down, completely drunk on feeling. 

You completely lose track of how many times you get off that night, the pace will switch on a whim, from hard pounding and him calling you every name in the book to more easy and sensual, a writhing joint movement instead of an aggressive pounding. 

You ride him, grind one out on top of him while he cradles your breasts, thumbs passing over your nipples as he calls you a beautiful fucked out angel. 

He fucks you spooning, hand around you and between your thighs, strumming your clit with one hand, the other locked on your throat as he is fucking in and out.

The only thing that seems to make it stop is you literally sobbing for it to. Your cheeks are wet, you are babbling his name and the word stop, you have one leg over his shoulder and the other is pinned down near your knee by him. His stamina was impressive, he’d already cum once when you were riding him, had filled you up, but instead of that stopping it, he just flipped you over, still hard, and kept fucking going, his own cum providing even more lube.

That was a while ago, you could tell that he was near again, sweat down the side of his face, movements of his hips sloppy, panting your name over and over. You know you can’t again, you are too fried, too overstimulated and finally, just as the soreness is starting to teeter on the other side of being more unpleasant and painful than pleasurable he holds deep and cums again. 

You feel totally boneless, your arms feel heavy as you wrap them around him loosely, his head dips down and rests on your shoulder, you are just trying to catch your breath.

He gets his back faster than you. 

He is still inside of you when he comes back up, fingers push some of your hair aside as he looks down into your eyes. Your chest is still rising and falling rapidly as he confesses, for what must be the third time tonight, telling you, “I fucking care about you.”

A strong belief that is nothing but the truth hits, “You deserve way better than him, I wish I could have met you sooner so you could have had those years back of someone who actually gives a shit about you instead of that asshole.” 

You want this, want him, damned what that says about you or your morals, you don’t care as you tell him, “Fuck that selfish cunt, forget about him, let’s just make up for lost time.” 

He has every intention of doing just that.

[bluegalaxygirl]

Home cooked meal (Law X Reader)

Plot: Your the cook of the heart pirates creating amazing meals that meets all the crews energy and dietary needs but when Bepo asks you to make a meal from his home your secret might get out.

Warning: Bad language, Panic attack, Past Bullying, Bepo being cute and finally some comfort.

Reader is GN, This can be read as Platonic or romantic, As someone with Dyslexia i struggle from time to time with reading but i'v had a lot of help to get to where i am now. Reader on the other hand hasn't had any of that help so i'm writing this based on my experience's in the past and the struggle i had in getting help later on in high school. Honestly it was only when i was in collage that i actually got any help.

It was Early morning and like always you were about to make breakfast for the crew but to your surprise Bepo was already up and sitting at the dinning room table looking over a few pieces of paper. "Morning Bepo, did you not sleep well?" You ask with a concerned look while the bear jumps in surprise at your sudden voice "O-Oh! No, i slept ok, i've just had something on my mind for a while now and i-i was hoping to talk to you about it" Bepo stands holding the papers in his paws as he makes his way over, you can tell he's beyond nervous about something but you wonder why wouldn't he go the Captain who's usually his go to when something happens. "Sure sweetie, what's up?" You ask the slightly shaking bear, he gulps before holding out the papers to you with his head slightly down "I-I know you don't like taking requests but i was hoping you could make an old home recipe for us tonight" You jump a little in shock, its true you don't take requests from the crew unless its something you know how to make off by heart or something you've made before. You hesitate to answer while keeping your hands to your sides refusing to take the piece of paper your friend and crew mate tries to hand you "I'm sorry, i'm just missing home at the moment and this always cheers me up, my brother used to make it for me, and he wrote down the recipe and steps so i was hoping you could make it tonight" The bear begs as his eyes look up to meet yours.

You freeze in place when meeting his watery and shining eyes, gritting your teeth your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes widen at his cute face but you try to stay strong. There's a reason you didn't take requests and none of the crew know the real reason why and you would like it to stay that way. Gulping you go to say no to the cute bear only for him to let out a little whimper, you crumble as your heartbeat sped up and cheeks go pink due to his cuteness "Ok... but tonight really?" You ask grabbing onto the papers as his eyes stop watering, a huge smile forms on his face as he cheers pulling you into his furry chest for a hug. "Oh thank you so much Y/N your the best and i know its short notice but i checked, and we have all the stuff needed on the ship so please." he talks so fast it takes you a while to figure out what exactly he's saying but you soon get the gist of it while pulling your head out of his white fur trying to breath again. "I-I'll try my best but there's no garrote it'll be for tonight ok?" You ask as Bepo lets go of you bouncing on his feet with joy his smile never fading "Thank you so much Y/N, your the best" You can't help but smile at his compliment while gesturing for him to sit so you can make breakfast but you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest. You know your gonna have to work hard in order to read it all in a short amount of time while also keeping it out of prying eyes.

Placing the papers on the side you start making breakfast trying to calm your mind and enjoy the morning, soon one by one the crew walk in thanking you for the food and coffee before heading to the dinning room to eat. As usual Law hasn't walked in, he's probably working and doesn't want to be disturbed but if it gets around to lunch, and he still hasn't eaten you'll make something and bring it to him. After everyone ate and headed off to do their work, you cleaned the table with a bit of help from Shachi and Penguin before grabbing your own plate of food and a cup of coffee heading to the dinning table. A sick feeling rose inside making you look down at your own food in disgust since now you had the alone time to read or at least attempt to read the recipe Bepo gave you. Reading always gave you anxiety and a feeling of dread, it was embarrassing to admit that you couldn't read all too well. It's not that you don't know how too or that you need glasses, its just hard when the words move on the page. They look like their vibrating causing the words to look blurry, some handwriting is harder to read then others but the worst part is the headache you get when you stare at it for too long. It's gonna take a day maybe even two to decipher what it says and try to remember it so you don't have to look at it again, with a sigh you try and focus on each word instead of the whole page, moving closer to the page as you do so and cupping your hands around each word to try and force it to stop moving.

You abandon your food and coffee letting it go cold since the words make you feel sick and slightly dizzy soon followed by a growing headache. After half an hour your headache got worse and worse to the point where it felt like your eyes were vibrating along with the words so you forced yourself to stop. "Fuck, all that and i've only read the ingredients" You sigh to yourself while rubbing your temples and keeping your eyes closed shut in an attempt to stop your throbbing head, managing to ease it a bit you stand while grabbing your dishes, throwing the food in the compost and the coffee down the sink you place the plates on the side and reach into one of the cabinets pulling out some pain killers. The dishes were usually a task you didn't like too much but right now it was the only thing you wanted to do since it will be an excuse to get away from the words for a while. Reading has been something you've struggled with since you can remember, your parents often got upset with you over not being able to read simple words while your teachers gave up a few years into school, labeling you as a lost cause. You weren't dumb despite what your teachers said, You know how to spell and what words mean, it was just reading that was a problem. You were more hands on when it came to learning which is why things like Art, Physical education and Cooking came so easy to you. Your mother, despite some times getting frustrated with you, taught you how to cook, how to measure by eye and helped you remember all you needed to know while reading the cook books to you.

Your mother also taught you how to figure out what shops are by the signs color which made shopping a lot easier, most fresh fruit and meat shops are green while most fish markets are blue so when on an island you use that to figure out where to go. Despite getting a headache and feeling anxious around books you have quite a few cook books in the kitchen, you want to keep trying to read and learn new recipes but their mainly dust collectors now, you haven't picked up one in months. You either can't bring yourself to read it or you give up half-way through due to your headaches, it can take you a week to read and remember a new recipe but thats a week of dealing with a headache, sickness and anxiety all while trying to keep your problem under wraps. You could never bring yourself to tell anyone or ask for help in this, you fear they would think your stupid or that your not worth keeping around. You wanted to tell Law when you first joined since he's the smartest man you know, and he's a doctor, he could fix you but on the other hand because he's smart he might think your not worth bring on his crew. Your scared he'll laugh at you or kick you off the ship, as for your friends your scared they'll also laugh at you, the worst would be the teasing from your best friends, Shachi and Penguin. They tease Bepo all the time for little things, and they do the same to you at times but its all light-hearted, reading through is a touchy subject and one you avoid at all costs even more so around them.

After lunch, you spend the rest of the afternoon trying to read that stupid recipe, you were forced to take pain killers once the last ones had warn off but in your effort to please one of your best friends you forgot about you Captain who hadn't joined the crew for lunch. Squinting at the page with your hands cupping the sides of your face the words continued to move, you wanted to cry in frustration, you wanted to throw your hands in the air and give up but your friend asked you to do this one thing for him and you already agreed. "Please... please stop moving" You whisper to the words as if they are living things and can hear you, if they were living things your sure they would laugh at you and start hopping around to make it worse. Footsteps soon get your attention making you gasp and look up hoping who ever came in didn't see you in this position, your eyes widen further when seeing your Captain standing at the head of the dinning table your sitting at. "Oh! Gods Captain, i'm so sorry, i forgot your lunch" You panic standing out of your chair almost knocking it over in the process but Law raises his hand to stop you "Its fine, don't worry" he sates but you can't help but worry, you forgot the most important person on the ship, the captain. "I'll make you something, i'm so sorry" You continue to panic while rushing past him to the kitchen.

Law sighs before following you into the kitchen where you rush to get things out to make him something to eat. "It's fine really. How long have i been in there?" His question makes you let out a small laugh starting to relax now that your cooking and you can't see the mans face as he leans against the wall "Over a week" you state keeping your eyes focused on the food, the captain lets out another sigh while rubbing his head "You want some Coffee?" You ask wondering if it will ease his headache or stress, he gives you a simple nod keeping his eyes on what your making. "You can sit, I'll bring it to you" You smile at him while boiling some water for his Coffee, there wasn't an answer but you could hear him walk away into the dinning room, you let out a sigh mentally cursing yourself for forgetting the Captain of all people. You manage to compose yourself before walking into the dinning room a plate in one hand and a cup of steaming hot coffee in the other, you gulp when seeing Law looking over the recipe you were trying to read. Walking over you place the plate and Coffee down in front of him getting the man to look up at you with his tired eyes before moving the papers away. You were about to apologies again but Law spoke first "I thought you didn't take requests" You gulp again trying to swallow your nerves before gathering up the papers "Yea but its kinda hard to say no to Bepo.... especially when he gives you those eyes" You laugh a little, The captain sips his coffee while raising an eyebrow at you, he could tell something was wrong, your laugh sounded more nervous than humorous.

Holding the papers close to your chest you give a small bow "I'll leave you too it" you smile going to walk away when the captain pushes the chair across from him out with his foot "No need, sit" It sounded like an order but you didn't want to sit in front of your captain for god knows how long while portending to read, you've gotten good at it, letting your eyes scan over the page while making tiny facial expressions once in a while. "I don't want to be in the way." You smile hoping to cover up the anxiety welling up in your chest, as Law eats he's eyes shift from you to the chair before pointing at it with his fork "Nonsense, If anything i'm in your way, sit and continue" he states while his eyes go back to looking at you, your chest tightens but you do as your told and sit back down placing the papers in front of you. He goes back to eating as you do your best to pretend to read, your normally very good at it but with your incredibly smart captain who spends most of his time reading sitting right in front of you its starting to get harder and harder. Before you know it, Law is done with his food and coffee his eyes fixed on you as you stare at the paper your eyes unmoving while your hands grip into fists on your lap trying to control the building anxiety. You're breathing stops as your mind spins with thoughts, its likes a thousand eyes are on you waiting for you to slip up, so they can laugh at you and call you stupid, you can already hear their laughter, how their mocking voices sound.

A tear slips out of your eye rolling down your cheek and hitting the paper your still staring at making the captains eyes widen "Y/N? You ok?" he asks with concern, when you don't answer and instead start to pant in small breathes trying to force air into your lungs he stands making his way around the table to you are, he spins your chair to the side forcing your eyes away from the paper "Hay, Y/N can you hear me?" he asks kneeling down while placing his tattooed hands on your shaking and clenched fists. "Y/N, it's ok, your in the dinning room on the sub, just try and breath for me" He keeps calm as you try to breath more tears falling down your face, his voice starts to bring you back to reality but now you know you've fucked up, how are you going to explain this way? What if he already knows? What if he forces you to leave because of this? You're spiraling thoughts are interrupted by a hand on your cheek making you look up from your lap to meet your captains eyes, they were calm and held no sign of annoyance or humor which you were thankful for "Hay, it's ok, your having a panic attack, i just need you to breathe, in for four, hold and out for four... try and follow me" You follow his breathing the best you can slowly starting to get better with each intake of breath, after a while he lets go of your cheek and takes both of your hands "I-I'm sorry" You stutter, but he shakes his head at you and squeezes your still clenched fists "You have nothing to be sorry for, it's ok if you don't know how to read" he states trying to be calm while getting to the route of the issue but it makes you angry.

Pulling your hands away from him your body tenses while you look away from him "I can read, i'm not stupid" You spit out through clenched teeth, Law sighs seeing this isn't an easy topic for you but he's your captain and doctor if something is wrong it's his duty to help. Pulling out the chair next to you, Law takes a seat and leans forwards letting his arms rest on his lap "I know your not stupid. Your smart Y/N, it's ok if you don't know how to-" you cut him off with a glare while wrapping your arms around yourself trying to give you some kind of comfort "I do know how to read, its just-" you cut yourself off not wanting to reveal too much but despite your yelling and angry glare Law stays calm, he didn't flinch or get mad or upset with you like so many others and you wondered why. He waits for a second before speaking again letting you have time to calm down "I'm sorry for making that assumption but i want to help, can you tell me what you see or feel when reading" He tilts his head a little as your eyes shift to the paper and then back to him, he wants to help you? Its nice of him to try but people have tried to help you in the past and no one has been able to do anything for you. "You can't help me, no one can... I'm sorry to disappoint you Captain" you bow your head letting your forehead almost touch your lap wanting his forgiveness, The captain sighs before placing a hand on your shoulder and pushing it slightly to make you sit up and look at him.

His eyes are still calm but there seems to be a bit of sadness or maybe anger. "Your not a disappointment Y/n and i can help you, I'm a Doctor and your Captain it's my job to make sure all my crew is healthy and capable, even if it means they need some help." Your eyes widen at his words, he's not going to ridicule you or throw you off the ship? It sparks hope in you, that even if he can't help, you still have a place here. Now you feel stupid for doubting your captain, Law's smart, smarter than anyone you've ever met, if anyone can help you he can. "The words move, well they vibrate, if i look at it long enough i can make out the words it just takes time and i need quiet but... I get a terrible headache and i feel sick and dizzy" You explain placing your hands back on your lap starting to relax "Do you find it better or worse with different color's?" he asks making you raise an eyebrow at him, you never really thought about that before, but he did have a point "Kinda, i can't make out anything when its white writing on a black background but i find it easier to read writing thats on cardboard" You shrug as your captain leans back a bit giving you a nod "All that plus a few other things iv noticed over time i'm sure you have Dyslexia" at first your overjoyed that you now have a name for what is wrong with you but then your hit with confusion, you've never heard of that before, what is it and can it be fixed?

Seeing your confusion Law leans forwards again and places a hand on yours. "It's a reading disorder, You have difficulty reading due to the part of your brain that identifys speech sounds and another part for learning how those sounds relate to letters and words not communicating with each other. There isn't a known cause but it does run in families." As he talks you nod along starting to understand more and more "So can i be fixed?" you ask earning a slight smile and huff of humor as Law looks down at his lap "Your not broken Y/N, there's no cure for this but there are things that can help. There's a test i can run that will help you in the future, if you want" Your captain looks back up at you as you show him a small grateful smile, there may not be a cure but at least there is something that can help so you nod scared to speak in case you break down in happy tears. Law nods and let's go of your hand before standing up "I'll grab some stuff and be right back" at that you jump up and stop him by grabbing his arm "Wait, i don't want anyone to see" you panic not wanting to be teased by your friends and crew mates, Your captain sighs and removes your hand from his arm while turning to face you "There are several people on the crew with Dyslexia, no one is going to laugh at you for it or tease you about it. If you feel more comfortable we can go to my office but i assure you that no one is going to think differently of you" You release his arm letting your hand falling to your side "I-i would prefer your office if thats ok" You gulp but Law nods and takes your hand walking you to his office.

[canirove]

Mason Mount Imagine | eight

Author’s note: Just something cute I wrote the other day after seeing this tweet. All credit goes to you, Gianmarco 😅 As always, I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜 Little summary: You join Mason at the Olympic Games in Paris, where he is Great Britain's flag bearer, and a little accident happens during the opening ceremony🫣 (Female reader/pov)

Masterlist

“How are you feeling?”

“Honestly? I'm shitting myself.”

“C'mon, Mason. You've played in the Champions League and Euros finals and taken and scored decisive penalties for your team. Waving a flag is nothing compared to that” I chuckle.

“This isn't just a flag, love. It is the flag. I am representing my country in the Olympic Games! This is an honour!”

“I know, Mase. I know” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I was just teasing you.”

“Then less teasing and more showing how proud you are of your dearest husband” he says.

“Do you have anything in mind?”

“We could start with a kiss” he smirks. 

“Ok” I smile before kissing him.

“I am gonna miss this so much while I'm away” Mason says against my lips when we break apart. 

“Just my kisses?”

“All of you, love. Everything about you” he says, caressing my cheek. “Wish you could be at the villa with me.”

“I will be with you” I say, taking his hand and showing him his wedding band. “I am always with you.”

“Always” he smiles. 

“So you better be careful with it and don't lose it. Again.”

“I didn't lose it. I just misplaced it” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Mason, the cleaner at Carrington found it while cleaning the changing room. That's losing it, not misplacing it.”

“Meh, meh, meh” he says, pulling me closer. “Can I get another kiss? I need all the luck I can get to not mess it up during the opening ceremony.”

“You can. But” I say, stopping him as he is about to kiss me. “You have to promise me that after the Olympic Games you are getting your wedding band fixed so it fits you properly. It's been almost four years since we got married!”

“I will, I promise. Can we kiss now?”

“Fine” I sigh. “But only because I love you.”

“I love you too” he smiles, that dimple of his showing before we kiss.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“This is amazing, bro!” 

“It is, isn't it? I still can't believe this is happening!” Mason says as he waves the British flag, people cheering as their boat cruises through the Seine. 

“If you get tired I can help you” Luke says. 

“I can do this. They chose me for a reason.”

“Yes, because you are the pretty one” Declan says, making everyone around them laugh. 

“It's a shame it won't show up on camera with the rain, tho” Luke says. “Right now we all look like drowned rats. You included, Mason.”

“But even while being soaking wet, he is the pretty one” Declan sighs.

“Sorry” Mason smiles, taking a rest from waving the flag. It may look easy and he may have trained to do it, but he had started to struggle a bit and they still were half way through the parade.

“Bro, look! That's where the girls are!” Declan says, waving towards a group of people with British flags.

“Can you recognize anyone?” Mason asks him, looking for his wife. She had said she would be carrying a flag with his face on it that she had found online God knows how, that she would be hard to miss. But neither of them were expecting for the weather to be that bad, and he could barely see what was going on in front of his nose.

“Not really. But if we don't wave at them, they will get mad.”

“They will, yes” Mason chuckles, joining everyone else. And then… he sees it. The flag with his face on it, someone jumping like crazy behind it. “Over there, Dec!” he says, now waving and moving his arm from side to side so he gets to be seen among all his teammates. 

And when he sends his wife a kiss, moving his arm with maybe too much intensity… 

“No!”

“Bro, are you ok?” Declan asks him.

“My wedding band!” Mason says.

“What?”

It was gone. Forever.

He had first felt it move on his finger, slipping from it. And when he had looked at it to somehow try to put it back in place, it was already flying, hitting the side of the boat before sinking on the Seine. 

“My wedding band, Dec. I've lost it.”

“You what?”

“She's gonna kill me. She's gonna fucking kill me. She's…”

“Mason, relax” Declan said, putting his hands on his friend's shoulders. “It is just a ring.”

“It isn't just a ring, Dec! It is my fucking wedding band and I lost it! I… I…”

“Breathe, Mason. Breathe.”

“It's over. My marriage is over.”

“She isn't gonna ask you for a divorce just because you lost a ring. Not even if it is one as important as this one” Declan says. “But we have to come out with a plan so you don't spend the rest of the year sleeping on the sofa.”

“A plan?”

“Leave this to me, ok? You just worry about waving that flag and acting normal.”

“But…”

“Waving, Mason. Waving” Declan says.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

masonmount: I'm sorry, love. I am so sorry. I know I should have gotten it fixed a long time ago like you always told me to. I know. But that, plus the fact that I was soaking wet and everything was a bit slippery, and that I got too excited after seeing you cheering for me as our boat sailed past where you were… and it was gone. My wedding band was gone. I saw it leave my finger, hit the boat and then disappear under the water all in slow motion. It probably lasted just a few seconds, but as I held my breath, it felt like an eternity. But if I'm being honest, better to lose it there than somewhere else, like at a random changing room. How is that any better, you may be asking yourself? Because I lost it while representing the country I love during the biggest sporting event in the world, and all thanks to the sport I love. Because the sign of our love, will now forever be part of the city of love. Though that sign of our love is missing its other half, so wouldn't it be romantic if we went there once the Olympic Games are over and threw your ring into the water too? Let them be together forever just like you and I will always be? And you always say that even though our wedding was perfect despite the circumstances (covid days), you wish you could have had everyone you love with us. So maybe this is our sign to renew our vows and throw that big party you always wanted?  Once again, I'm sorry, love.  I love you ♥️

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“This is the spot?”

“Yep” Mason says. “Right in front of where you guys were waiting for us. It is a lovely place, don't you think? And there is a hotel over there. We could come here each year and remember what happened, make it a tradition.”

“Oh, because after your Instagram post, I will easily forget about everything that has happened, will I?” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry, ok? But Declan thought it was a good idea. That by making it public as kind of a declaration of love, you would be less mad and disappointed with me.”

“I mean, what you said was beautiful, so if you had texted me all that, maybe. But you are freaking Mason Mount. That post has gone viral to the point that it made it to the news and people have offered to go into the river to look for the ring.”

“I’m sorry, love. Je suis désolé.”

“Talking to me in French won't make it any better?”

“What if I say voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?” he smirks.

“You are not making it better, Mason.”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, love. I truly truly am” he says, putting a lock of hair behind my ear and caressing my cheek. Which is cheating, because he knows I go weak at the knees every time he does it, and that staying mad at him after is almost impossible. Especially if he does it while smiling and making the dimple on his left cheek pop like it is happening right now.

“I know you are” I sigh. “Now, let's get done with this crazy idea of yours before I regret it. Or was it Declan's?”

“Throwing your ring into the river was all me” he chuckles. 

“Anyway…” I say, taking off first my engagement ring and then my wedding band.

“Do you want me to hold that one for you? I promise I will take care of it as if my life depended on it.”

“Your life does depend on it” I say, putting it on his palm and closing his hand around it. 

“God, you are so scary when you get serious like that…”

“Good” I smile. “Now, how do I do it? Do I say some words before throwing it or…”

“I don't know” Mason shrugs. “Just do whatever feels right.”

“Nothing about throwing my wedding band into the Seine feels right. But…” I say, turning to look at the river when I see him rolling his eyes. “I know you will find him. Just like us, you are meant to be together. Goodbye” I whisper to the ring before throwing it with as much strength as I can so it makes it to where his ring supposedly is. “Done. Now wha… Mason!” I gasp when I look back at him and see him on one knee. “What… what are you doing?”

“Remember what I said on my Instagram post about renewing our vows?”

“I… I do.”

“Well, for us to do that, I should probably ask you to marry me first, shouldn't I?”

“Mason, we are already married” I chuckle.

“Are we? Because I don't see any ring on your hand, and I don't have one either” he says, moving his fingers and looking at them as if they were something he hadn't seen before, making me laugh. “So, with the city of love as our witness… Would you do me the immense honour of marrying me?”

“Again.”

“Yes, again” he sighs. 

“Only if you promise me one thing. No, two.”

“Fine…” he sighs again.

“One, that we will go together to get our wedding bands measured and will make sure they both fit perfectly, and that we will get something like a cute box or little pouch for you to put yours and keep it safe while you are playing.”

“I promise.”

“And two…”

“Wait, weren't those two things already?” he asks with a confused look.

“No, that was just one. And two…” I say, leaning forward towards him. “You have to promise me that we are going to throw the biggest party ever, one that won't end until the sun comes out.”

“I promise you, my love. People will take a week to recover from it.”

“Good” I smile. “Then with the city of love as our witness… Yes. I will marry you again, Mason” I say, extending my hand. 

“Perfect” he smiles back, standing up once the ring is back in my finger. “May I kiss you now, my love? My fiancée?” he smirks, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer towards him. 

“You may, my love. My fiancé” I chuckle before kissing him, people suddenly clapping and cheering around us. 

“Oh, shit” he says, stopping his kiss to look around. “Looks like we have an audience.”

“Do you think they know who we are?” I whisper.

“Maybe? I don't know. But” he says, looking back at me. “If they do, I think we should give them a proper kiss. One movie worth it and that becomes even more viral than my Instagram post.”

“Mason…” I say, his cheeky smile letting me know that he is planning something I will definitely regret later.

“Hold tight, my love” he says before kissing me like they always do in movies, by somehow twisting me and leaning me back, holding me down while one of my legs in the air to allow me to keep my balance. “I love you. Now and always” he says against my lips, our little crowd cheering again.

“I love you too, Mason. Now and always” I say before kissing him again.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

masonmount: I did it (again). And she said yes (again)

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

masonmount: Mr & Ms Mount 2.0 How it started. How it went. How it ended.

[gaiaseyes451]

2024 Fic Roundup / AO3 Ask Game

Oi, so many tags! Thank you @nosferatini, @kotias and @cheeseplants!

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens

How many words have you published in 2024?

Not including collaborative works: 129,329. Good grief, that feels like a lot.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

Honestly, I'm proud of myself for writing to deadlines this year. A lot of my writing was for events and I'm always terrified I won't make it but I did! I also art'd for the first time for @the-literal-kj

What are your favourite top three fics you've written this year?

Ostinato - Pianist Crowley summons Aziraphale back from Heaven. This let me lean into my pianist background, I loved writing this for the High Pollen Count event.

Breathless - The breath play kink fic that was never planned but @sixbynine-da demanded. I've never had a scene flow out of me like this and it isn't angst!

A Little Life - My first long fic. Folks say it's sad and it is, but to me it also... isn't... Forever indebted to @fuzzygoblin for the music prompt for the Good Omens Song and Poetry exchange and for gamely agreeing despite all the trigger warnings (before they knew it was me writing it). <3

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Truthfully, I'm in my lowest point of the year right now. Haven't written a word since finishing Breathless. But I've got amazing friends in this community who have my back. I'll be okay.

What have you learned?

Tell the story you want to tell. Better to write for yourself and the handful of people the story will resonate with than to force a story you think will appeal to the masses. If it's pulling at you, it's pulling for a reason.

Reach out to your idols, I've yet to find one of the people I perceive as BNF's to be anything but kind and encouraging.

I'm pretty sure I can HTML just about anything with a general guide now.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I still have a roughly 20k draft of 1941 that I wanted to finish. It needs to be rewritten, but I will finish it.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I beta for a lot of folks! I'm going to miss people, I'm so sorry. @adverbian's Is This Desire?

@kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon's Sins of Knowledge

@sixbynine-da's A Tricky Situation

@spectrallydistracted's If I Loved You Less ... We Could Have Coffee

Most everything by @the-literal-kj and @hakunahistata but particularly KJ's Show the Way and Haku's 21 Grams

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Someone is Calling Him Shorewards by @harlotofupdog - The first fic that made me break my "I don't read WIPs" rule. Gorgeous and atmospheric and sexy and heartwrenching and mysterious. I don't know how I got the title of angst queen in our little group when Harlot wrote Shorewards.

Quite Contrary by @gingiekittycat - Poor Gingie has listened to me write honest to someone literary analysis of this fic as well as beg for multiple historical prequels. This one lives rent free in my head and will for a long time.

Play for Me the Music of Your Heart by @leviosally - There is one chapter left to go that I (and everyone else) am waiting for with baited breath, but now is a perfect time to start a read if you haven't yet. This is, in my opinion, the quintessential musician AU written by someone with a deep love and understanding of music. Spellbinding.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

@the-literal-kj and I are already working on our Heaven before the Fall story that we've been calling Bitter Things! The other big fic I'd like to get out is a Human AU where Peter Pan collides with Peaky Blinders. And, in January, expect.... wait for it... fluff

Who do you want to thank?

@hakunahistata, @the-literal-kj and @adverbian - You three cheer and challenge and cackle and cry and you make things better, both my writing and my day to day life. I'm grateful for you as beta's and I'm humbled to call you my friends.

@kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon, @dbacklot99 and @sixbynine-da - Y'all are the first real collaborators I've worked with on an as of yet unspoken project. I have so enjoyed working with you three and also becoming friends! Thank you for the randomness and the wonderful angst spirals and that utterly AMAZING Lucicrow birthday gift - Changing Keys

@goodomensafterdark community and all the wonderful folks who are following me here or have taken the time to kudos and/or comment on my work. Seeing what y'all create and hearing from you brightens my day immensely! I'm so grateful for this amazing, welcoming, exuberant fandom!

No pressure tags: I have no idea who hasn't been tagged yet, if you're mentioned above please take it as a tag. If you see this and want to play, please do and tag me!

[goodluckclove]

Hey. Stop scrolling for a second.

You scroll through writeblr a lot, don't you? I get why. Lots of fun people, interesting concepts and prompts. But maybe you haven't taken that jump from collecting resources on writing to actually writing.

Once again, I get it. It's daunting if you've never done it before. I've been doing it for a while and I genuinely can't think too hard about the act itself as it happens or else I get all sweaty and confused. I flopped spectacularly at a game of Scrabble tonight because I just ran out of words to think of and I'm in the middle of my 13th novel. Writing to me is like side-eyeing the sun - but that's besides the point.

What I mean is that you should do it. That idea that you think could be, might be, maybe has potential. More than that, I think you should do it right now. Right now.

Ooh but Clove, it's one AM and I have to do open heart surgery tomorrow. Cool. Write three sentences and go to sleep, then see if you want to do more after you get your license revoked.

But what if it's not good? Okay. What if it isn't? But what if it isn't, and it GETS good later? Or what if it isn't, but then later in the story you find a way to make those three initial sentences make sense? Three sentences isn't a story, unless you're Ernest Hemingway or a Haiku Man. Moving on.

Clove, where do I start? Honestly if you've never finished a project, or really never wrote anything at all, maybe just start at the point that sounds the most interesting in your head. To find the process that works for you takes work and experience so maybe for now you get dessert for dinner.

But I don't have an outline/character sheet/world map/mood board/playlist/ECT! Cool. Maybe that's an issue. Maybe it isn't. There's only one way to find out.

But it's hard! It's hard at first and then it gets easier. It's a muscle. You work at it consistently and you'll get to a point where you struggle to remember what it was like to not know how to write.

But it's painful! Hah yeah. That's kind of the more honest issue, isn't it. It's easier to think that your idea WOULD BE GREAT rather than face the fact that you might not be able to MAKE IT GREAT. That fear isn't based in reality, though. People like different things. You might write a work that you're displeased with in one aspect and find that it's changed someone else's life for a completely different reason.

What if I'm not a good writer? I struggle with this a lot and I've been published. It doesn't really go away even when people cry at your work and heap praise on it. But if you like to do it, if you would still be doing it even if there was no end promise of fame and success, you should do it.

What if I'm not a writer at all? I used to ask myself that. There are lots of answers to this question so I can only give my own: you are a writer if you write - past, present or future. If you haven't written in a long time but you're trying to get back to the craft, you are still a writer. You just have to keep trying.

What we do is half-trade, half-religious act, and because of that it is easily one of the weirder passions. I don't really get why people romanticize the field but at the same time I guess it seems pretty magical at times. As a writer, though, our job is to be the proverbial Man Behind the Curtain. You have to know how the magic trick works enough to do it successfully, but you also still have to be amazed. It's weird. I don't know why I do it.

I still do it though.

Write three sentences. Right now. Why not, right? If you send them to me in an ask I'll read them, or you can send them to me at my email address that I posted a few posts back because I'm old enough to know online safety and choose to ignore it. Or just do it for yourself.

Make something. You deserve to be a source of creation.

[icarusredwings]

Not me going to join the anon hype train, only to find you've turned off anon asks 🤣🤣🤣

(really do love you though. I'm always excited to see what you'll come up with next)

Hi!

Yeah I turned off Anon because I started getting extremly hateful spam messages from anons and honestly if youre gonna say it say it to my face with an account instead of hiding behind anon like a bitch. You guys' mamas didn't raise you like that, and yall know it. (Not towards you pickinglilahs!!! Just in general.) Like, yall asked me for fem Wade content. So i gave fem wade content. And now i'm getting messages that I shouldn't write fem Wade content at all because im a man. It's so confusing at this point. I have half of people telling me im amazing (THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU!!) and then I have people telling me I should be violently harmed because of the way I wrote a satire silly ficlet.

OMG so so sSORRY for ranting!! I just am frustrated with this community in general. @bougiebutchbinch is right, so I turned off anons. If you still wanna say something I won't mind but don't expect me to submit and "be professional" (cause apprently my last awnser wasn't 'professional') because uhhh this is Tumblr..... if you expect professionalism be/ act accordingly.

ANYWAY!! You are so kind! Thank you very much!

Im cooking up a couple things with animalistic logan right now (Good boy, a sfw petre fic and Catfight an au where Logan brings home a nice version of sabertooth and logan gets territorial very quickly) after that I'm not betraying my main fics anymore (this is probably a lie) and will be working on 3 main things at a time.

1. Kevin getting stabbed because GOLLY @joykai has been SO patiant with their request but I just wanna make sure its good.

2. Baby evelyn au

3. Widdle wolvie update

What will follow will be

1. Silence au

2. A love without a need for words (cherik)

3. Find her au

[discoveredreality]

intro post <3

don't mind me editing this like every single day lol

my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3

anons are welcome too <3

also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭

anyways

BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)

this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so

@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL

@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333

@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH

@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333

@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33

@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333

@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG

@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg

@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3

@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭

@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg

@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER

idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along

moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3

so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭

about me

i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭

personality/star sign or whatever

according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(

time zone

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ

my music taste

i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.

favourite books and authors

i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.

dni

idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf

tag games and shit

yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol

tags

i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?

fandoms!

i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro

i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D

and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo

all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.

my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here

the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good

IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333

[youunravelme]

Who are some other writers we should check out?

Love your fic recs 😁

omg i LOVE this ask! (and i love that you trust me to rec things/blogs/fics! it's a huge honor)

i'm gonna put this under a read more because there's a lot of people i think are worth following (and if i rec'ed you and got your pronouns wrong, please tell me and i'll fix it!)

so i'm gonna attempt to organize this list by player. disclaimer: i don't read for every hockey player in existence.

mat barzal (obvi number one bc he's the loml)

@barzysunflower - lolo (she/her) is the first mat barzal writer i actually read and when i tell you i binged her masterlist???? it's so good, my favs are the you are in love series and the unexpected series!

@thewintersoldierdisaster - literally anything she writes is great, i go feral for it tbh. she writes for a few canes players as well, but my favs are the mat fics (for obvious reasons being that i'm in love with him). especially the fics with the baby (whose name i cannot remember) and when mat calls reader squeaks???? i'm in love.

@islesnucks - clara (she/her) has so many good mat fics and headcanons (seriously, headcanons are underrated and need more love in general). i think she was also a writer that made me fall in love with mat because she just writes him as the dream romantic hero every single time.

@hockeywhy - i am almost positive that they are tired of me tagging them, but the truth is, they are the writer of my all time fav mat series caught in the middle! but they also have other great mat fics and matthew tkachuk fics that i've enjoyed almost as much! i don't think they're as active anymore writing wise BUT if you want amazing writing and haven't checked them out, you should!

auston matthews

@bagopucks - ella (she/her) hands down my fav auston series is her single mom!reader series. it's the perfect balance of angst and found family and it's just flat out wonderful. she also has a masterlist full of other fics too, that series just happens to be my favorite. but if you wanted another fav of mine, read the jack hughes fic "a little funky," it's about a reader with ocd and as someone with ocd, it was really impactful!

jack hughes

@chewingcyanide - emme (she/they) literally writes the most poetic fics i think i've ever read. everytime she publishes something new, i am stunned. seriously, i honestly take notes from her writing style. stories aside, if you wanted to become a better writer, check out her stuff, it'll really inspire you to use more descriptive words! her breakable heaven series is what introduced me to her writing and it's phenomenal!

@babydollmarauders - faithlynn (she/her) i'm almost positive that faithlynn was the first hockey writer i really followed because jack hughes was my gateway drug into the hockey world. she has so many fun series and aus going on not only for jack but for other devils players, so if you love the devils, definitely check her out!

@jackhues - naqia (she/her) also has a really fun series called mockingbird and it's technically more focused on the friendship/brother-sister relationship jack's gf (reader) and quinn have but it's really sweet. she also has a great auston au as well!

others

@ladylooch - b (she/her) is great! i put her in this category because i feel like she writes a lot for a lot of different players. i've loved her stuff with nico and mat alike. she also has a pretty consistent schedule as well from what i've gathered (which, girl, share your secrets please)

@troubatrain - kim (she/her) wrote my fav beau fic (set it up) and has written some really good fics for matthew tkachuk too! i absolutely adore the soccer player!reader fic and the blurbs that go along with it!

@comphersjost - m (she/they) again, i've said it once, i'll say it again SHE WROTE MY FAV MATT SERIES OF ALL TIME (all for you). I GO BACK AND READ IT OFTEN. literally had me weeping at times. she also wrote some other fics for auston that i've really enjoyed as well!

@sydnikov - sydney (she/her) has written some realyl great fics for andrei and some for nico hischier and jack hughes (and a few others i think, but those are the ones i've read) and they're just fantastic! she's also a canes fan if you want more canes content!

feel free to reblog this with your own author recommendations (in fact i highly encourage it! there are so many good writers on this godforsaken site and these are just the authors i find myself reblogging every time they post!

[resvarie]

Do you have some Ami's voice lines?

this took so long… i wrote this before 2.6 before rappa voice lines were released so bear with me! they’re all below the cut 😎

First Meeting:

You can call me Amihan. I'm just a lone drifter amongst the stars, no need to pay me any mind. Unless you need parts, of course. Don't ask me where I source them though, haha…

Greetings:

Heya! Wonder what sort of treasures we’ll dig up today?

Parting:

Fair winds, my friend! I’m sure we’ll find our way back to each other soon enough.

About Self: Captain

I wouldn’t call myself a captain, but I am the only member of the S.S. Nova, so everything falls to me. Navigation, repairs, cleaning, keeping stock… Solo ship life keeps you humble.

About Self: Mechanical Peg Leg

My leg? I carved the wooden bit myself. I lost it in a freak accident when I was wrestling a shark on my home planet— or maybe it was when I fought against that brute from the Annihilation gang.. or was it when I was doing repairs on my ship and that piece of metal fell— Ah! I’m getting carried away here, aren’t I? I’ll tell you another time!

Chat: Business

If you’re ever in need of some scrap metal or ahem, IPC approved goods, just message me. I have dealings in the trade– and you won’t have to pay the abhorrent prices they put up on the market.

Chat: Principles

You gotta give to take, everything has balance in this universe. Just so happens that I like giving miscreants a good flogging, and I like taking their belongings as my payment, and sharing that with people who really need it.

Hobbies

I like making these little carvings in my spare time… This one’s a horse, this one’s a dog. Um, this one’s supposed to be a shark. I’m not used to this kind of wood, so it’s hard for me to get the shape right. N-No, it’s not an excuse!

Annoyances

This might sound odd coming from me, but I get the worst motion sickness when someone else is at the wheel. No offense to Pom-Pom.

Something to Share

Look, I don’t believe in luck. If you want something you can’t just dawdle, waiting for something to happen. You need to take action. That’s all we can do in this universe.

Knowledge

Lushaka is a place filled with flooded ruins and seas so blue it’s hard to see where the water ends and the sky begins. The scholars there have tried to tell me about the ruins, but honestly, I’m more interested in the sunken treasures that are waiting to be found…

About Boothill

He’s a reckless one, isn’t he? We galaxy rangers tend to work alone, but you wouldn’t believe the amount of times he’s dragged me into the fray, even if it is just the tail end of whatever mess he’s gotten himself into. Not like I don’t enjoy it though, heh.

About Boothill 2

…I have a lot of respect for Boothill. I envy him sometimes, but deep down, I know I could never do what he could. To have everything taken like that… it’s… *sigh*

About Rappa

It might be a little hard to keep up with her way of… communicating, but I promise you, she’s got a good head on her shoulders. I trust her judgement. She reminds me of my little sister…

About Rappa 2

The Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions? Rappa tries to teach me, but it just goes in through one ear and out the other for me. I’m not too good with words and remembering things like that, but I’m happy to indulge her.

About Aventurine

Ugh, if I have to hear him speak about luck again, I might just send myself overboard. Is it really luck if he’s putting in that much effort to scheme and calculate the outcome?

About Sampo

Sounds awfully like this guy who keeps undercutting me online– Once, I even tried to buy from him just to see if he was legit. Turns out he’s all talk. He even pretended to be a bot when I confronted him… No integrity!

About Himeko

I met Himeko and the Astral Express once upon a time, she offered me an incredibly bitter cup of coffee whilst talking my ear off about fixing the Express. I could only understand a quarter of what she was saying… but wow, she’s amazing to do all of that by herself.

Eidolon Activation

Dead men tell no tales.

Character Ascension

There she blows!

Max Level Reached

Time to take this seriously.

Trace Activation

All hands on deck!

Added to Team With Boothill

Keep up, cowboy!

Added to Team with Rappa

Er, how does it go again.. As the Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions read: “Let’s kick some serious butt!”

Added to Team with Trailblazer

Up for some treasure hunting after this? Saw some untouched trash cans on my way here.

EXTRA:

rappa and boothills voicelines for ami

About Captain Yukaze

The Captain's attempts at learning the Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions are commendable, but it seems she has a long way to go if she wishes to reach an acceptable level of ninjutsu. I worry for her…

About Ami

Ami’s saved my behind more than a couple of times— I owe her, but uh, I’m not too sure on how to really pay her back, plus she always denies whatever I throw at her, insisting she doesn’t need it. She’s not good with her drink, so a good malt’s out the window and she’s pretty set in her ways with her weapons so I can’t get her something new… I’m at my wits end here…

[thatonepersonwhocantwrite]

Backbiter (rewrite)

Platonic May castellan x Gender neutral friend reader

Platonic yandere show version Luke castellan x parental figure reader

Platonic yandere camp half blood x Gender neutral reader

TRIGGER WARNINGS swearing, implied kidnapping, accidental injuries, dark themes

This is a rewrite of something I wrote a while ago just a little bit more detailed original will be linked at the end of this

If you click continue reading you have acknowledged the warnings

The Castellan's had always been close with your family. You and May had been close from a young age. Although May claimed she sometimes saw things..... " I don't know of you should trust someone who claims to be a God sounds delusional and uptight. " You told your friend to which May just rolled her eyes. One day you found May muttering nonsense to herself in the corner of her house. " Hey hey May what's wrong? I'm here. I'm here. " You said gently helping your friend up. " Y/n??! Oh thank the God's it's you! It's really you!" May said squeezing you tightly honestly it was surprising how tightly she was hugging you. " I've got you May. I've got you." You said hugging her back but not as tight. " Y/n?" May asked. " Yeah?" You replied. " I'm pregnant." May stated.... You're mouth dropped.

"Is it that son of a bitch who got you pregnant?" You asked and May nodded. "It's ok May we'll get through it together. " You said wanting to strangle what's his face .......Hermes? Maybe that's his name it sounded right.

You moved in with May to help her with the pregnancy and ended up using the couch as a bed since you both agreed to use the spare bedroom as a nursery for the baby although May did argue about it because you shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. You also made sure May was always comfortable and also worked a few extra hours to make sure there was enough to buy stuff for the baby. " Y/n I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me." May said. " Of course you're my best friend. " You replied. " So if it's a girl I was thinking Lily if it's a boy Lucas." May said. " How about just Luke if it's a boy?" You asked. " Luke...." May smiled softly. " I like that. " May said.

" Luke it is then." You replied. " If it's a boy. " May replied. " If it's a boy. " You repeated back.

................................................................................

" Y/n? Are you awake?" May asked shaking your shoulder. " I am now." You replied sleepily. " Good because I think........ my water just broke. " May said and you sat up alarmed. Somehow the two of you managed to make it to the hospital in one piece. " Excuse me but you'll have to step out of the room." One of the nurses told you. " No wait I want them to stay.....please. " May said. After hours May finally gave birth to Luke. You gently cradled the little baby in your arms as May slept. " Y/n?" May asked a few hours later when she woke up you handed her the sleeping Luke. " My Luke....my perfect boy." May muttered and you smiled softly. " You did amazing May." You said. You held the little boy in your arms as the nurses took care of May his brown eyes so innocent and curious. " Hi little one. " You said smiling he just blinked back at you before a toothless smile appeared on his face.

................................................................................

Well so you're plan was just to stay a month or so until May got back on her feet however what was not part of the plan was May going insane. Surprisingly Hermes tried to be a happy family with Luke and May so you moved out for like a year but would often come visit and help in anyway possible well that was until Luke turned 1, Hermes was nowhere to be found and May had now gone insane so you moved back in with May and Luke because you didn't want them to see May as an unfit mother and take Luke away from her knowing Luke was one of the only things keeping May from complete insanity. " My baby....." May muttered as you cradled Luke her arms shaking. " Would you like to hold him?" You asked and she nodded as she stopped shaking enough to hold Luke you gently put him in her outstretched arms.

You sighed softly. " I have to go to work tomorrow are you going to be alright with Luke alone for a few hours?" You asked quiet and gently. May nodded softly.

To you this "Hermes" guy was just some arrogant man who left in May's time of need and letting her go insane despite having a 2 year old boy.

................................................................................

A five year old with curly black hair and brown eyes came up to you with tears in his eyes. " Y/n/n my mom is doing it again. " Luke said. You sighed softly knowing what he was talking about May was muttering something about a prophecy again while some of it made sense most of it was nonsense. " Come here sweet boy. " You said opening your arms for him. " I've got you sweet boy I've got you." You said hugging him. " We'll let May rest for a bit she's had a ....... stressful day. I'll take you to the park and get ice cream. " You said that put a smile on Luke's face. Someone a little kid made the mistake of calling you pretty/cute/handsome not in a creepy kinda way but little kids tend to be overly friendly yeah Luke didn't like that so he bashed his ice cream cone into the kids face. " LUKE!" You scolded the five year old and turned to apologize for Luke's actions however Luke didn't like that either as he ended up kicking said kids parents although he was only five so it probably didn't hurt.......that much.

"Why'd you kick them?" You asked. "Because you were paying attention to them instead of me . You're supposed to pay attention to me only. " Luke replied

He was five so you brushed it off as him just being a kid and not knowing what he's saying.

" I'm so sorry . He's a little boy little kids need attention......anyway again I am really sorry about his behavior. " You rambled and the kids parents are just like it's fine we understand. Kids will be kids.

................................................................................

One day when you came home you found May sobbing in a corner of the house clutching a picture of her and Luke. " May what's wrong?" You asked gently kneeling in front of her. " Lu....Luke ran aw....aw....away. " May manged to stutter out. " Oh May....." You said hugging her. "Are you sure he didn't just go to a friend's? Or maybe the bus got held up by construction on the way home?" You asked hoping the now 9 year old Luke would walk through any minute. " Th....e .....the scho....ol c...alled an...d sa....id he ne.....ver mad....e it to sc...hool." May somehow managed to choke out between sobs.

" Oh May.....I've got you sweet heart I've got you." You said gently rocking your sobbing friend. "He'll be back in his own time." You whispered to her although you weren't sure you believed that and were just trying to make her feel better.

................................................................................

There was a knock on your door to the house as you were getting ready for bed. The area you lived in was close to May and had a small forestry area behind your house. You no longer lived with May but lived a few houses down it had been a couple years since Luke ran away and you'd constantly go to check on May to make sure she didn't spiral any worse. Luke would be 14 by now. The knocking noise again but this time it sounded more impatient. " Yeah Yeah I'm coming hold you're fucking horses. " You replied walking towards the door. " Who the fu...." You stared but got cut off when you saw three teens and a 7 year old at your door however one teen caught your eye. " Luke....." You muttered.

" Hi Y/n."... Honestly as mad as you were at Luke you started to bond with his friends and him again. "Who are they and where the hell have you been?" You asked crossing your arms. The oldest female was glaring at you honestly you probably didn't come off as the friend type.

" Hey Y/n can I borrow your keys?" Thalia asked. " Urmmmm how old are you?" You asked. " SHE'S TWELVE!" Grover shouted from the other side of the room. " Ehhh that's old enough in my opinion. " You replied and let her drive on the back roads where almost none drives. "Only if you let me come with you. " You replied.

" So you like my little forestry area?" You asked Grover. " Yeah nature's beautiful." Grover said. " Yes it is.....sometimes I think we don't deserve nature." You replied . "Let me show you something follow me. " You said. " How do I know you won't hurt me?" Grover asked. "Just trust me. " You replied and he followed you as you lead him out the door and towards the forestry area near your house. You could tell he was getting antsy until you came across a clearing in the forest. " It's ok look." You said and Grover reluctantly did so there in the clearing stood a doe and her two playful fawns. " Wow......" Grover said. " Nature is beautiful. " You replied.

" Hey Annabeth want me to read a story to you?" You to Annabeth. " Bed time stories are for babies. " Annabeth replied. " It can be anything. " You replied. " Anything?" Annabeth questions. You ended up reading her a few chapters of Frankenstein honestly you don't remember buying it but you found it on your bookshelf so.....( Athena cough cough).

You placed a plate of sandwiches and cookies infront of Luke as the other three munched away at their own sandwiches and cookies. " You know you really should go visit her she's your mother after all." You said but Luke didn't reply. " Luke?" You asked. " Fine if it'll make you happy. " Luke replied. "It would....." You replied. The next morning you went with him, Grover, Thalia and Annabeth to May's house. "Hi ......mom." Luke said hesitantly. " Luke.....? Is that really you? My baby!" May threw her arms around the now 14 year old Luke she looked so happy it was the first time in years you had seen her look so God damn happy it broke your heart knowing it wouldn't last forever.

................................................................................

1 week later. " Y/n come with us." Luke said. " I can't Luke." You replied. Luke's expression turned into one of rage. " Why the fuck not?" Luke asked angry. " Luke calm down please..." You stared as he slammed his hands down. " You're the only parental figure I have you can't turn your back on me. I'm your son! I WON'T LET YOU!" Luke exclaimed, angry he still definitely had anger issues. Luke stormed out of the room leaving you, Thalia, Grover and Annabeth stunned slightly.

"He right Y/n you should come with us." Annabeth replied after getting over the shock of Luke snapping like that. "I would little one but I've got responsibilities here like taking care of May and working. Why don't you all just stay here?" You asked.

...............................................................................

You woke up in a bed however it wasn't your bed. " They look so......fragile and weak. " You heard a voice say. " Why would they bring a mere moral to camp with them?" You heard a voice question . " Huh? It has a name." You replied waking up groggy. " Oh great it's awake like we need a mortal to take care of when we already have these half blood brats. Chiron take care of it." The voice said and walked of an older looking gentleman with gray hair and brown skin who ended up being very kind to you. "Annabeth? Grover? Luke? What happened? Where's Thalia? And is he actually a centaur or am i just imagining things?" You asked. " You must be Y/n. I'm Chiron I'm sorry but Thalia didn't make it. " Chiron replied. " Good to meet you Chiron ." You replied. You could tell by Annabeth, Grover and Luke's eyes that Chiron hadn't been lying about Thalia. " Come here you thre." You said and hugged them tightly Chiron was honestly started to become platonic obsessed with you when he saw the way you tended to Luke, Grover , Annabeth and some of the younger children.

At some point shortly after Thalia turned into a tree, Coach Hedge showed up with a young girl named Clairsse . "It's ok to fell other emotions besides anger Clairsse it's normal to feel different emotions it's not healthy to feel just one. " You said. " But that's weak. " Clairsse said. " No it's not. You know despite your toughness your a good kid Clairsse. " You said gently ruffling her hair and that was the first time you actually saw her smile.

Chiron smiled to himself. " Maybe just maybe having a mortal here wouldn't be so bad..." Chiron thought to himself. " Why don't you stay a day or two? It's dark and wouldn't be safe for you to travel. " Chiron said. " I really should be getting back home....." You replied. " Please I insist. " Chiron said putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. Well those days turned into weeks and weeks into months until you found out the truth about the children being demigods , Chiron being a centaur and Mr.D being a God. Mr.D pretends to hate you but like Chiron he adores you. Honestly you had become a parental figure to all the halfbloods but while you tended to all the children the two cabins that took up most of your time were the Ares and Hermes cabins. Luke came back with the scar and you fussed over him like a worried parent he definitely liked the parental affection. "Oh my boy, my sweet boy what did they do to you?" You muttered gently touching the bloody scar.

One time you decided to decorate Thalia's tree for Christmas Chiron nor surprisingly Mr.D had the heart to tell you no. You got some of the younger campers to help you decorate Thalia's tree as well. It became a yearly tradition.

" Clairsse put Chris down!" You shouted looking at the boy being held by his ankle. " But he hurt you......" Clairsse muttered that was true Chris and Luke had gotten into an argument about God's knows what you had stepped betten them and accidentally got stabbed in the arm in the process. That set all the camp off especially Luke as Luke stabbed Chris back in the arm and probably would have continued if you didn't pull Luke off Chris. The other campers watched with jealousy and rage in their eyes as you tended to Chris's injuries like a worried parent because they wanted your attention all for themselves most of the time when your reading to the younger campers the older ones will come in and listen as well. Especially Annabeth.

when Percy eventually arrives a few years later Percy shows up it gets worse because how dare this unclaimed himbo steal you and your attention away.....

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