#like. unclench please. and call your doctor while youre at it. your meds might not be working

[semistable17yearoldgirl]

You're like me (bucky x amputee reader) part 3/?

author's note: thank you!! This was my first ever note in my inbox and this means so much to me! I work really hard on my pieces so to have someone complement them is incredible. Enjoy the long awaited part 3!!

As Steve ran to get banner, Bucky was able to take a closer look at Y/N's arm. He could tell just by looking at it that it was clearly a hack job, and was done semi-recently. It was healed to an extent but the surgical (if you could even call them that) were still puckered and red. He felt a similar ache in his shoulder as he ran his fingers along the suture line of the wound, before remembering a horrific thought. Hydra was never a fan of anesthetics. It hit him like a bag of bricks as he remembered his own screams as they worked on his arm without any form of pain killers. It was then that Steve walked in with Bruce.

"Hey, you okay punk?" Steve asked seeing him. When Bucky turned around however, it was clear something was worse than he thought. Steve kneeled down to be beside him on the floor next to the medical cot. "Hey you're okay man, you're okay. Just breathe with me alright? I need you to tell me what's wrong" As Bucky gulped for air with a hand on his chest, he managed to explain in little increments. "Hydra... no... anes... anesthetics.. I... I remember" He whisper shouted before giving up on explaining. "Oh my god" Steve stood up as he rubbed a hand through his hair. He made eye contact with Banner who had the same look of shock in his eyes. “Steve I need you to carry her inside. I’ll deal with Buck, but we need to get her into a real medical bay fast. If what Buckys saying is true to her case, her body is most likely in shock and isn’t presenting symptoms that could be vital to us helping her.”

Without a word, Steve scooped up Y/N and started towards the medical wing without even looking back. He knew that Bucky would eventually follow, but that he was in good hands with Dr.Banner.

Bucky’s POV

Bucky unclenched his eyes to see Steve running out of the jet holding Y/N bridal style with her head resting on his shoulder. “NO!” He shouted, but Steve was already long gone. “I need.. I need to see her!” He said in a highly panicked voice, looking at Bruce with wild eyes.

“Okay, but I need you to listen to me first. Can you do that?”

Bucky nodded in response, allowing Bruce to continue.

“We need you to calm down so we can go into the med bay to treat her. We won’t be any use if we can’t stay calm for her sake. It’ll just make her more anxious if we walk in shaking. Okay?”

With a few deep breaths, Bucky finally trusted himself enough to respond without gasping in-between words. “Okay, okay I can do it” He stood up, and with the help of Banner, they picked up a quick pace up to the med bay.

Steve and Y/N’s POV

He tried to run with as much steadiness as possible, but he knew his efforts were futile. “Steve?” A quiet voice asked as her eyes fluttered open, only to clench again at the harsh jostling of his running. “It’s okay baby, we’re gonna get you to the med bay okay? It’s almost over I promise. Just keep those eyes open okay doll?”

Her breathing was coming out in short pants, as she kept her eyes squeezed shut. It wasn’t long before she felt herself being laid on the bed, and Bucky and Bruce hustle in.

Back to normal POV

Bucky sat in a plastic chair next to her bed, holding her remaining flesh hand as Banner ran around gathering supplies. It’s gonna be okay baby doll alright? I promise” Bucky whispered as Banner pulled a tray to her bedside.

“We’re gonna treat the burn first because it’s the easiest to take care of okay? It shouldn’t be that painful, just cold. I’m just gonna spray some water on it and put a bandage over it. I won’t rap anything around your neck I promise.’

She nodded feebly and gripped Bucky’s hand, and turned her head to face him, exposing her neck and burn to Bruce.

“You’re doing great love, you’re so strong.” Bucky kept whispering sweet things to her as Bruce finished patching up the burn.

“Hey Buck, Steve? Can I pull you guys aside for a second?” Bruce asked. Seeing the worried look on Y/N’s face, he turned back and added “nothing bad, just work stuff” Seeing her face ease at this, the 3 man walked just outside the med bay doors.

“I’m gonna need to clean the wounds on her arm and I can tell by the looks of it that it isn’t gonna be pleasant or pretty, so heres what we’re gonna do” Bruce explained. Bucky cringed remembering when he had doctors touching around his wound after his amputation. “Buck I’m gonna get you to lay on the bed behind her, and im gonna raise the bed to a sitting position. She’s gonna sit between your legs and lay with her back on your chest to keep her calm, and keep her head from looking at her arm while I clean it.” Bruce continued. “Steve, you’re gonna sit where Bucky was and hold her hand, and be back up. Got it?” Everybody nodded and they returned into the room.

“Hey honey, can I sit with you?” Bucky asked as they walked in. Oblivious to what was about to happen, you nodded and got off the bed so he could sit where he wanted. He offered for you to sit between his legs and you took it, leaning back onto his chest, looking for any kind of comfort you could get.

Bruce scooted beside you on your left side on a wheel-ie stool with a syringe (minus the needle of course) of saline and a sad look on his face. “Okay darling, I know this won’t be fun but I have to clean your arm. If I don’t all the dirt in the wounds will get infected.”

“NO!” You screamed and started thrashing, trying everything to get away. Bucky rapped his legs around yours, and rapped his medal arm around your torso, as Steve held your flesh arm down. “NO PLEASE!!! PLEASE!” You sobbed, not being able to breathe from pure terror. The sight shattered all 3 mens’ hearts as you begged for them not to touch your arm.

“Shhhh” Bucky cooed, trying to calm you down. “I know it’s scary baby doll, but if we don’t do this it’ll only hurt worse later down the line”

You had stopped thrashing at one point, simply too tired to continue. Bucky held one side of your face, stroking your cheek to turn your head away from your left side, as Steve stroked soothing circles on your remaining arm. “It’s gonna be okay baby, I promise” Steve whispered, afraid his own tears might start to fall.

“I’m gonna start okay Honey?” Bruce cautiously asked.

“O…Okay” You hiccuped, still gasping for breath.

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Kindness; Part Eight

Fandom: Fallout (3)

Pairing: Female Lone Wanderer/Charon

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Four more!

“You get the hell away from my friend!”

  Charon's eyes rolled open and instantly shut again. The light was so bright, his stomach too queasy to handle how the room was spinning. His ears picked up an all-too-familiar cry of pain, the sound of liquid splattering on the floor. There was a breathless gasp and something heavy hit the ground. Another yelp of pain, lower this time. The sick, dragging noise of a bone saw punching through someone's side.

  Charon felt consciousness begin to fade again and he was ashamed at how quickly he submitted to its dark caress.

  Pain. The pain was almost intolerable. The headache was finally gone but everything else seemed to hurt in an effort to compensate. A voice. There was a voice. It was her. Spoon. Come to him in his delirium, his fever-dream. She was wearing a simple white pre-war dress, her hair curling in cascades down her back.

  “I hope you're alright. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.” She said softly, a gentle hand touching his face.

  Charon shook his head dazedly, moving through the pain to catch her hand before she pulled it away.

  “I...I won't do it again. I promise. I can't let you get hurt again.” She whispered to him, her eyes full of tears. “You mean too much to me. I can't let you get hurt anymore. You're always there for me, and the one time I could have been, I fucked it all up. I'm...I'm so sorry.” She began to fade, her hand disappearing from his...

  Charon blinked several times, then groaned as he realized he was still bound in the room. Someone was moving around, outside of his field of vision. But he didn't have the strength to turn his head and see what they were doing. So he stayed put. He felt the restraints loosen around his arms, though, and that got his attention. He shifted, alerting the person to the fact that he was awake.

  “Charon!” Spoon's hands were bloody, her nose was crooked and her right eye was going to have one hell of a shiner, but Charon couldn't have cared less if he wanted to. Right then, she looked fantastic.

  “Smoothskin...you're alive.” He breathed. The relief that flooded Charon surprised him. Spoon grinned back at him, her own relief palpable.

  The next second, he was freed from the restraints. Spoon wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her and seeming to partially cradle him while he waited for the feeling to come back to his fingers. Charon was too tired and sore to protest being coddled like a child. He just buried his face in Spoon's shoulder and luxuriated in the texture of the soft skin on her neck against his cheek. Spoon gently rocked him back and forth, one hand tentatively rubbing circles on the giant ghoul's raw back.

  “I'm...I'm so glad.” She whispered. Charon felt something hot and wet drop onto his face. “I thought they killed you. I thought I failed you.”

  Charon chuckled dazedly. “You cryin' for me, smoothskin? No one's ever cried for me before. Don't you start now. I thought you were dead too, y'know. I thought...” Charon trailed off as he remembered how hollow he had felt when he thought Spoon was gone for good. It hadn't been a good feeling. Certainly not what he was used to feeling when an employer died. “...I don't know what I thought.” The ghoul said instead. “But you've never failed me, Spoon. If anything, I failed you.”

  Spoon made a shushing sound, her hold tightening on him. “Jesus Christ, you're essentially my only friend out here. I can't lose you, Charon.” The following laugh shook a little. “You and Wads are all I have. No one else knows who or what I am. No one else has ever been there to fight for me, to distract raiders from me. No one-” Spoon stopped abruptly.

  Charon felt her throat work against his cheek, and he gave a long, rumbling sigh. “Smoothskin...I-”

  “I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said, I-I mean I--” Spoon stammered, seeming like she was about to pull away.

  Charon grumbled again, effectively silencing her stutters. “I thought you were a goner smo--Spoon. I thought my next step was seeing which one of these filthy pricks had picked up your contract. I thought I was going to have to work under the shit that murdered you.” Charon was surprised when his throat started to feel tight and odd. Your contract. Yours. The words came slower now. “You're so much stronger than you think you are, Spoon. You don't need me. You confuse me. You treat me like an equal, spoil me half to death with killing and Stims and food.” Charon shook his head as best as he could, mostly just rocking it against Spoon's neck. “I just...I know for a fact I don't deserve to be treated even as a human, after some of the things I've done. Spoon I oughta' be killed a hundred times over for what I've done.” Charon mumbled, his words slurring a bit with exhaustion.

  Spoon placed a reassuring hand on his cheek, and Charon was embarrassed to find himself leaning into the touch. She started emptying her pockets, pulling six or seven Stims out to the ghoul's wry amusement. “Lemme' give you these. Then, you get me back to Megaton where I can get to my supplies, and possibly have Church hammer my nose back into place.”

  “Good thing I finished that rad water, huh?” Charon commented, getting a clogged chuckle out of the scavenger.

  “Fuck you. I'll pour my vodka into your open wounds.” Spoon threatened, her crooked grin diffusing her words admirably as she started to treat his injuries.

    The trip back to Megaton was somewhat slower, what with Spoon taking breaks to fuss over Charon. The ghoul didn't particularly seem to mind though. If Spoon wanted to fool herself, she might have thought that Charon looked at her more. And that his eyes seemed more peaceful when he did.

  If Spoon had wanted to fool herself, she might have heard the concern in his voice when she had to curl in on herself with pain after trying to re-set her nose singlehandedly. She might have seen his wince when she rolled her pants up to examine her shattered knee.

  If Spoon had wanted to fool herself, she might have done a lot of things.

    Charon paced back and forth in front of the door to Doc Church's clinic.

  Why the hell do I care so much? She'll be fine. She's going to be okay. Why the fuck am I so worried? Charon thought furiously, forcing himself to sit down on the edge of the porch and take some deep breaths. His hands clenched and unclenched restlessly on his knees, mind wandering to how bad Spoon had looked when they finally got to Megaton...

  “No, I don't need you to carry me. I'm okay...honest!” Spoon had insisted, her smile looking more like a grimace stretched across her bruised face.

  Charon sighed heavily. “We're still at least half an hour away. Please just let me help you, Mistress.”

  “I'm telling you, I'm fi--!” Charon wrapped one arm around Spoon's shoulders and tucked the other carefully under her knees, sweeping her up in the blink of an eye.

  “What was that Mistress? I couldn't hear you.” The ghoul had quipped as Spoon tensed against him.

  She glared up at him tiredly. “You're a real bitch, you know that?”

  “Been called much worse than that, smoothskin. Just relax and enjoy the ride. You're badly injured, and it's all because of me.” Charon had schooled his face into an impassive mask. “Let me help you.”

  Spoon had settled against Charon's chest, groaning. Charon risked a glance down after a few moments. She was sound asleep, crooked nose casting an odd shadow in the moonlight playing over her pain-pale face.

  The Charon then had tightened his grip. “I'm not going to let you fall.”

  The Charon sitting on Doc Church's doorstep snarled at himself for being such a sentimental jackass.

    “Alright you little shit, that should keep you coherent for a few days.” Church grumbled, wiping his hands on an old rag. Spoon offered him a wan smile, her exhaustion getting the best of her as she tried to stand. “Whoa now, you little vagabond. Just pay me and I'll call your king-sized shuffler to sweep you off your feet again.” Church said, tapping the jar next to his examination table and moving to the door. “Hey! Get up, you slug. He's fine, just in no shape to walk.”

  Charon's massive form darkened the doorway, and Spoon started digging in her pockets. “Doc, I can't thank you enough-”

  “Damn right you can't. Now just pay me and get out.” The old doctor said gruffly. Spoon dropped two handfuls of caps into the jar, making Church's eyes widen. “Listen here, you, I'll have no charity in my clinic! Pay me what you owe, and not a cap over.” He sputtered. Charon scooped Spoon up, the drained scavenger noticing how dark his eyes were. Like the ghoul was far away, gnawing on something in his mind.

  Spoon caught Church's hand before Charon could carry her out the door. “It's not charity. It's an apology. I know I haven't been scavving nearly as many meds as I used to before. I'm sorry. Stuff's getting harder and harder to come by, y'know Church? But hopefully with that, it'll give you an edge when you have to bargain with the traders.” She explained.

  Church's eyes softened. “Ah, get the hell out of here y' grifter.” He grunted good-naturedly, dropping her hand and waving her off. Charon didn't wait for further confirmation, almost running out the door.

    Failure.

  Charon slowly came around to awareness, gripping his shotgun tightly. He had fallen asleep again in Spoon's large chair, and now her house was being overrun by raiders. They were everywhere, so many of them, missing ears and eyes and hands.

  Charon went to move, only to find that chains even stronger than before wrapped around his arms and legs. His shotgun had disappeared in his moment of distraction, and he was left weaponless. He struggled against the chains, flailing in a frenzy while the noise level around him grew with his efforts. Blood and spit flew from his mouth as he screamed at the raiders, their ceaseless gibbering mocking his every move.

  A fist slammed into his jaw from nowhere, effectively stilling the giant ghoul as his neck snapped painfully to the side. His left side lost all feeling in it while faces in the raider crowd began to change. Twisting, turning, bubbling skin gave way to decay and rot, raiders ghoulifying before his eyes.

  Charon knew some of those faces, knew some of those burning eyes, and his heart sank. In his time with Spoon, he had almost forgotten one of Ahzrukhal's favorite forms of entertainment. But here it was, right back with him, crawling up under his skin and deadening his limbs.

  Ahzrukhal was not above renting Charon out to get some quick caps, whether loaning him to a desperate ghoulette or passing him around a few fighting rings. But those were trivial troubles compared to what Charon was reliving right now.

  It started with the Med-X. Ahzrukhal would wait until Charon was ravenous with hunger, not letting him eat for days beforehand. The bartender knew damn well that his bouncer needed to eat, but it was just one more thing that he could hold over his head. As if the contract wasn't enough. Anyone who was caught slipping Charon food was punished with a swift beating, usually from the bouncer himself per Ahzrukhal's orders. Then, Ahzrukhal would 'leave' something small on the bar counter when he went to his quarters for the night. A scrap of squirrel meat, or a few gristly chunks of a mole rat steak. There was the order that Ahzrukhal would throw over his shoulder before he left. “Eat, Charon.”

  Charon would resist as long as he could, hoping that maybe this time was the time he would break the conditioning. Until finally, delirious with pain, hunger and orders orders orders scraping at the inside of his skull he would devour it.

  He always tried to regurgitate the food, but Med-X worked so quickly when ingested. The relief of no longer having the orders was gone almost instantly. His legs would give out and he would collapse on the floor, vision fading in and out as he watched Ahzrukhal creep from his room and smile down at him...

  Charon could only recall bright, painful bits and pieces of what would happen afterwards. From what he could determine, Ahzrukhal charged three to six ghouls an exorbitant sum of caps, and then left them alone with a restrained Charon, a room full of bloodied instruments, some Stims and a friendly warning that their time would run out 'sooner or later'.

  They always looked so pleased with themselves, the ghouls who caused him such harm. Delighting in kicking a drugged-up dog. He was powerless to do anything as they played with him for what felt like eternity. Hacking into fingers just to elicit a response, tracing the trickle of tears down his face with grimy, disbelieving hands. Often as not, the tears would come as a surprise to them, as would the strangled groans of pain from the tall ghoul. He could feel every minuscule thing they did to him and yet he was powerless to do anything but retreat into his mind and let the pain dissipate, or be present and endure the suffering.

  Once, there was only one ghoul waiting for him. Thinking of him made Charon's stomach flop queasily, raider-ghoul rabble around him stilling as he remembered the filthy feeling he had afterwards, like the dirt had burrowed under his skin and he needed to flay himself alive just to feel clean again. That ghoul had stuck around too long; the drug wore off and Charon strangled him with his bare hands. Ahzrukhal had swung open the door and burst into laughter at the sight of Charon, bloodied and furious, unbuttoned pants hanging precariously on his hips, with one massive hand still wrapped firmly around the unnamed, naked ghoul's crushed windpipe.

  “That's a bit more of him than I ever wanted to see!” Ahzrukhal chuckled, making Charon snarl and drop the body.

  “Enough.” The barroom door swung open, and Spoon waltzed into the room. She swept off her hat and bowed ridiculously deep at Ahzrukhal. Surprisingly the sleazy ghoul returned the bow, waving her on.

  “Of course ma'am, he's all yours.” Ahzrukhal said, nodding to Charon and then leaving.

  “Kneel, Charon.” Spoon ordered, her hands on her hips. Charon was powerless to disobey, dropping to his knees and looking up at her in poorly-concealed fear. She took his face in her hands, and then kissed him mercilessly, like she was trying to take the breath out of him.

  Fuck . “ Mistress, I--”

  “It's alright, love. You're with me. You're safe. Just relax, everything will be alright. Let me carry you, for once.” Spoon whispered, smiling at him kindly. The raiders faded to black behind her, everything was darkness but Spoon, his Spoon.

  “I'll always be right here, Charon. I'll do my damnedest to always be here for you, big guy. Even if you're still dreaming, even if it's just a nightmare, you shouldn't be alone...”

    Spoon breathed a sigh of relief when Charon's eyes opened slowly. “Are you alright?” She asked quietly. Charon nodded, looking confused. “You were...yelling. In your sleep. I came downstairs because I thought Jericho was back but...” Spoon trailed off, tightening her grip on the tall ghoul. She didn't really care whether he thought she was being forward or not, the way his body shifted while he slept and the way he had alternated between groaning and crying out had been heartbreaking. She kissed his forehead, then looked down at the worn fabric of his shirt. “I just...I wasn't sure whether you were gonna' be okay if I woke you up, so-”

  “You sat on me.” Charon finished drowsily.

  Spoon flushed. “That was just because you were thrashing around! I wasn't trying anything, I swear!” So much for not caring whether he thinks you're forward. Smooth move, Spoon. “I didn't want you to hurt yourself, not after all the raider shit.”

  Charon's fingers twitched and then sought out Spoon's hand on his chest. “I am...I am somewhat battered, I will admit. You wish me to be honest with you. I will be honest. I am damaged.” He seemed to be making a concerted effort to keep his voice calm and level. “I have been passed around a bit. I don't understand how to react to things. Sometimes I have awful nightmares.” The words poured out of his mouth faster and faster, like he was cracking. “I remember things that I've done, or maybe it's not me but things that people around me have done I remember people doing things to me the sleep and the fucking conditioning that makes me want to puke and the white, white walls so fucking white and I just-”

  “Hey, hey, whoa there big guy. One thing at a time. Take it easy.” Spoon interrupted, immensely worried as Charon's chest started to heave. He dropped his head into the crook of her neck and shoulder, swallowing hard. “Please don't vomit on me Charon. I stain something fierce.” Charon's laugh was choked and forlorn-sounding, but it was something. Spoon took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “I'm glad you told me.” She said seriously. The ghoul shrugged. “No really, I am! I mean, this isn't like the hungry thing where I can just pile more food onto your plate, but shit it's something.” Spoon got to her feet, and stretched out a hand to Charon, her crooked grin firmly in place. “Leave ol' Shotty next to my bed for the night. You can sleep upstairs with me. I'll kick the shit out of your nightmares.”

    Charon laid rigid on the bed, Spoon fast asleep beside him. A small solar-powered fan hummed quietly in the window, doing almost nothing to alleviate the heat. Charon himself didn't feel it all too much, but obviously Spoon did. She was in a pair of shorts and hole-riddled shirt. However she was the one sleeping, and he was the one left awake to stare at the ceiling and feel every twitch of Spoon's body.

  Lord , she was a restless sleeper. So much for kicking the shit out of my nightmares .

  Charon snorted at the ceiling. Beside him, Spoon rolled over, pressing her stomach to his side and flinging her leg over his. Charon grunted, attempting to wriggle away and failing miserably. Spoon's hand drifted over the ghoul's chest, tracing languid, unknown patterns across the ragged skin. Charon sucked in a breath, somewhat surprised still. Spoon was attracted to him. Spoon was...attracted to him? It may just be an unconscious reaction from her body and not her mind, but even that was flattering. Getting a positive physical reaction out of someone who wasn't ghoulified was high praise in Charon's book. As ghouls went, he wasn't that bad looking. He still had hair after all, even if it was only a light dusting of it. But as far as human appearances go...

  Eh. He could use a little work. There were better-looking folk just in Megaton, never mind the Wastes. So Spoon finding him attractive was...interesting. Charon carefully wrapped an arm around Spoon's shoulders, and was rewarded when she snuggled into him with a sigh.

  “Charon...”

  The ghoul bit his lip at the sound of his name. “What the fuck is wrong with you, kid?” He murmured. “You've slogged your way through hell and back for a monster who doesn't even deserve to be around you. I'm surprised you didn't put a bullet in my skull instead of going to trade in dangerous territory to get Ahzrukhal to hand me over. I don't understand you, smoothskin.” Charon grumbled.

  “I know you don't.” Spoon yawned, making Charon flinch. He had thought she was still sound asleep and he cursed inwardly, wondering how much she'd heard. Spoon stretched languidly. “Luckily I'm not in this for your understanding, otherwise we might be in a jam.” She said teasingly, her voice rough from sleep.

  The ghoul snorted as Spoon yawned again, her lazy stretching pressing her into his leg and hip. Charon shifted, going to take his arm from behind her shoulders. But she grabbed his hand.

  “No.” She mumbled. “Stay.”

  Stay. “Spoon...” Charon groaned in exasperation, even as the order spiraled down from his brain to his spine, then settled in his stomach. A low, dull pulse began to pound in his gut and his breathing hitched momentarily. Next she'll tell you to sit. Like a good dog. When to come and when to go. What to kill. When to sleep when to fuck when to eat when to --

  Spoon's eyes fluttered open, staring up at him with an odd expression. He knew he must look like a sight. He hated the way his face stiffened under orders. She bit her lip, worrying the chapped skin between her crooked teeth. “...sorry. I goofed that one,” She whispered finally, “You don't have to stay. You can stay...if you want to, that is.”

  The throbbing in his back and stomach vanished as quickly as it had begun, leaving Charon reeling. She picked up on that very quickly! His brain screamed in bewilderment. The ghoul untangled himself from her and got up from the bed.

    Spoon flopped onto her stomach, watching him as he paced in the tiny bedroom. She obviously wasn't going to be getting more rest for a while.

  “Why?” He finally asked, milky blue eyes luminescent in the half-light of the bedroom. Spoon shivered unconsciously. His eyes could be quite...unsettling.

  “Why what?” She yawned, rolling onto her back and looking at him upside down. Charon's face twisted and for a minute she could have sworn he looked on the verge of tears.

  “Why me? Why...Why are you like this?” He clarified; slow, careful steps taking him to the bed where he proceeded to loom over the prone woman.

  Spoon stared up at him, closing one eye as if she were concentrating hard. “Charon,” She began after a long, contemplative pause (during which her heart pounded in her chest wildly because he's so close to me and we're not in any danger and he could kiss me he's so close) “Why did my parents have me?” Charon's expression was flabbergasted, but Spoon persisted. “C'mon, you've done the deed a few times I'll wager! You know how this works, big guy. Why did my parents have me?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest, studiously avoiding her eyes as he murmured something under his breath that sounded decidedly exasperated before replying, “I don't know, smoothskin. I didn't know your folks. This a trick question?”

  Spoon sighed. “Allow me to apologize to your delicate sensibilities ahead of time, Ferryfuck Of The River Styx.” She said wryly. The teasing name startled an indignant huff out of the large ghoul, and his arms tightened across his chest. “My parents bumped uglies and, in turn, had me because they could stand each other. I gravitate to the people that I can stand. I'm not infinitely patient. If you had turned out to be some grumbly prick all the time-”

  “Beg your fuckin' pardon, smoothskin?!”

  “--I would have handed your contract off and been done with you. I snagged your contract in the first place because I needed someone to watch my back. It gets lonely out there. I picked you because you seemed like you wanted to escape. You weren't happy. No one would be on a leash that fucking short.” Spoon's hand coasted up the outside of the ghoul's hip, and she wound one calloused finger through the fraying belt loop located there. She tugged Charon closer, staring up at him the whole while. “I didn't even know who you were, but I wanted you happy. I couldn't let you suffer if I could help and you in turn could help me. I'm kind of selfish, y'see.” Spoon's eyes drifted closed. She sat there silently, feeling Charon flex and shift under her hand on his hip as he fidgeted. “Charon?” She murmured, removing her hand after a good long while and still feeling the heat of him on her fingertips.

  She received a grunt in reply, and a body climbed onto the bed to lay down beside her.

  “Would you...would you ever bump uglies with me? If I asked really nice, maybe?” She whispered, already half-asleep and feeling vaguely like she ought to be embarrassed by what she just said.

  A hand cupped her cheek, and she thought a set of chapped lips pressed to her forehead. “Sleep.” Came the rasping voice, a note of warning in it. “You need to heal.”

  But Spoon persisted, gripping the hand on her cheek. “Please?” She knew she was whining, but she was so tired...

    Charon hushed her, carefully running his free hand through her hair in a motion that was all at once familiar and unfamiliar. “I'll tell you in the morning.” He said quietly, biting his lip hard when Spoon sleepily kissed his knuckles.

  “Hope you say yes...” She trailed off, stretching and humming appreciatively as he continued his ministrations on her hair. The ghoul rolled his eyes, making a shushing sound as best as he could.

  “Don't you worry about that, smoothskin. It ain't important enough.” Charon only found sleep as the room began to lighten from the dawn.

Part Nine

[remeny-writes]

Roses are red, Violets are Adored (Viadore/katlaska/group fic)

For “Mack” @immortalitymydxrlings and her endless encouragement and enthusiasm.

Chapter 170

Fame’s POV

“Hey bitch, wake up.” I heard whispered in my ear. I jumped and bit my lip to stifle the whine that was longing to escape. I grimaced and tried to take a few breaths and opened my eyes.

“Hey, it’s your fairy fucking Godmother, take some meds goddammit! You’re grinding your teeth into nubs.” I opened my mouth to say no but she plowed on, “and don’t worry about becoming addicted because I’m not gonna share them forever AND I’m gonna be watching you like a hawk. You need these right now and it’s not a bad thing to need help. So take them. I’m gonna help you sit up a bit.” She just stared at me until I gave her a nod that I was ready.

I was NOT ready for the pain I was thrust into. My vision blurred as my stomach rolled with molten acid. I gazed past a plaid pyjama-clad Willam to see Pearl and Phi Phi sleeping on the couch. Well more accurately, Pearl laying ON TOP of Phi Phi, drooling on her chest.

“Honey, no offense but green is not your colour. Don’t lift your arms, just open your stinkin’ piehole.” Willam popped 2 pills in my mouth and held a straw in a bottle of water up to my lips. I swallowed thickly around the two giant pills. “Have another drink, I don’t know why they make them so stupidly large!”

“Thank you Willam.”

“Don’t mention it.” That’s when Will looked over at the couch and did a double take. “What the fuck is that about?” Will whispered with a glint of mischief in his eye.

“Will don’t, please?” I begged, I knew Pearl didn’t always sleep well. But Phi Phi had gone to bed, hadn’t she? How did she get back out here?

“Fine, goddammit! No one lets me have any fun ever!” He pouted.

“Sorry your life is so tough hun.” I said with a chuckle that quickly turned into a gasp of pain as I felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me.

“Jesus! You really are in a bad way bitch, maybe you should see a doctor or something?” Will suggested, giving me the once over look from my toes to my head.

The problem was I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to say that I fell with a supposed boot shaped imprint on my side. Then everyone would know, people would judge me and pity me and worry about me. I don’t think I could handle that. It was bad enough having Phi Phi and Pearl look at me like that last night. No that cannot happen.

I felt a hand on my arm and I reflexively jumped and let out a strangled cry. I heard noise from the couch. Fuck! I just woke them up.

Pearl lifted her head as Phi Phi stirred underneath, they both looked around blearily as if to place themselves and then noticed their position and sprang apart, both turning bright red. They sat at opposite ends of the couch, Pearl with her arms crossed over her chest. Phi Phi was suddenly very fascinated with her blue acrylic nails.

“Well, well, well.” Willam said gleefully, sauntering over and sitting between the two. “What is going on here this very day?”

“We fell asleep…” Phi Phi said lamely.

Willam snorted, “yeah, I might not be a member of Mensa but it doesn’t take a genius to figure that much out.”

“Will…” Pearl started softly, “I was really upset last night, Phi Phi was comforting me and I must have passed out on her. I’m sorry Pheef! I haven’t really slept in a while so I must have been just exhausted.”

“Ahhh comforting you eh?” He smirked.

“It’s not like that.” Phi Phi snapped.

“Phi Phi, your tone is very pointed right now. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell anyone. It’s not that big a deal, it happens.” Will shrugged and I let out a breath of tension that I didn’t know I was holding in. “I’m just yanking your chain! Relax! Unclench goddammit!”

“Oh ok! Thanks for understanding, this has never happened before! I swear!” Pearl held a hand up in Scout’s Honour.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass,” Will flailed a hand at them, “I just came out because Fame woke me up. I’m going back to sleep, it’s way too early for a queen to be conscious.” And with that he turned and sashayed down the hall towards the bunks.

“I’m sorry!! I didn’t mean to.” I called after him, I don’t know if he heard me since he didn’t respond.

Pearl groaned and curled in on herself, still red in the face. “Sorry Phi Phi,” was mumbled from somewhere near his knees.

“It’s ok, you didn’t mean to and I didn’t want to wake you up. I know you don’t sleep well so I thought maybe I would wait a little bit before I tried to wake you up. I didn’t mean to fall asleep at all!”

Pearl looked touched at the thought someone would put themselves in an uncomfortable position just so he could get a few hours of sleep. “Uh...thanks!”

“Don’t mention it.” Phi Phi said and rubbed her eyes, pulling her phone off the table. “Shit it’s only like 6am. No wonder I’m so tired still. Pearl, why don’t you go back to your bunk, I’ll keep Fame company. Well for another few minutes until she falls asleep again.” Phi Phi said with an endearing look my way. It was true, my eyelids were feeling heavy again as I smiled back at her.

Pearl hugged herself like she was cold, “I can’t sleep back there tonight. I just can’t.” She shook her head back and forth like a dog getting out of water.

“Ok! Ok!” Phi Phi said, scooching a little bit closer to Pearl, testing the water to see how she would react. She didn’t shy away so Phi Phi put her hand on Pearl’s shoulder. “It’s ok hun. I understand. Do you want me to stay out here and keep an eye on you both?”

“I’m so sorry you two, I should have just stayed in the damn restaurant and all this wouldn’t be happening. You would be sleeping in your bunks without feeling scared.” I croaked out, feeling hot tears run down my face as the guilt I was feeling threatened to drown me.

“Fame, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Pearl said slowly while she kept eye contact, “please don’t blame yourself. I don’t sleep a whole lot on the bus anyway, you saw what happened with everyone when Vi had that nightmare, imagine that every night. No thanks!” Pearl said with a giant yawn.

“You must be exhausted.”

“ I AM! I’m the sleepy queen for a reason. I just can’t seem to sleep. I can’t control my dreams so I just stay awake and then I don’t have to worry about it. Don’t look so worried, I get a good night’s sleep if I drink enough. I have some vodka in my bunk, a few shots and I’ll be fine.”

“Let me watch over you, please? I know you sleep better when someone is with you.” Phi Phi begged and I wondered how I didn’t see how close they were before, how much Pearl trusted Phi Phi.

“Ok,” Pearl conceded after Phi Phi gave him the puppy dog eyes. “But just this once, well second.” They both chuckled.

Phi Phi moved so she was sitting at one end of the couch with a pillow on her lap, Pearl went to curl up at the other end and Phi Phi stopped her, “come here you goof. Why don’t you rest your head in my lap and I’ll make sure you stay safe. If you start to have a nightmare, I know how to deal with it. I just want you to feel safe.”

Pearl turned red but nodded, all fight and pride sapped from him as he drooped. He curled onto his side, putting his head in Phi Phi’s lap. “See that wasn’t hard!” She joked.

“I feel like an idiot,” Pearl mumbled around a yawn.

“You’re not, let me do this for you.” Phi Phi reassured, she took her hand and in a very maternal gesture, started to smooth it across Pearl’s short hair.

“Thank you. Fame do you need anything before I pass out?”

“N..no I’m fine.” I hugged the pillow to my chest and yawned, the action of taking a deep breath making it feel like I had a fire spreading up my side.

Just before I fell asleep, I shared a look with Phi Phi and mouthed “thank you.” She just smiled and started humming a tune that seemed familiar but that I couldn’t quite place. I let my eyes drift shut, content in the fact that Pearl was hopefully feeling safe enough to sleep. I tried to shove down the feeling of guilt that rose in my chest again, it would inevitably still be there when I woke up.