#like. ma'am. not to be a jerk or anything but if literally everybody else in the class gets what i'm going for then maybe its a you problem

[batemanofficial]

i love having my writing peer reviewed bc on the one hand i'll get people's genuine reactions which are cool to see and i'll also get cool suggestions from them that i wouldn't have otherwise thought of of on my own, and on the other hand i'll get the most batshit insane peer review letters ever seen by human eyes

[aristocratlegacy]

Chapter Forty-One: Blazer Barn

Astrid: "Hey, honey, I'm heading to the store for a-"

Irving: "Astrid, we need to talk."

Irving: "Look, I think you're great. I do, but I just got a bit promotion at work, where I work as a Very Serious Journalist, and I guess I just wanna say...hmmm... I'm just not really looking for anything super serious right now?"

Astrid: "Are you dumping me? You...you know that we have 3 kids together, right?"

Irving: "Good for you, hon. Remember the good times."

Astrid: "This is bad, Irving. Even for you. This is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed."

Irving: "I know I'm the love of your life, and this experience may have just ruined all other men for you, but-"

Astrid: "Maybe you should just go."

Irving: "I will, but just know that I'm going to be super thirsty and keep calling everybody in our family at all hours of the night and inviting them to karaoke."

Astrid: "No need to go to such extremes.

Astrid: "I know this is weird but I sorta...don't feel that upset. Like, I'm furious, obviously. But...it's like that short story where the old woman finds out her husband is dead and then she's lookin out the window and they start using all that vaguely erotic language to portray how she's seeing the world as a free woman, y'know?"

"The Story of an Hour."

Astrid: "That's it!...that was kind of an obscure reference, Meghan. I don't think that's really going to resonate with a lot of readers."

"Not important, good short story, good connection, don't worry about it."

Astrid: "I just mean that-"

"Is that your phone I hear ringing?"

Astrid: "I don't hear anything, oh, yeah,....hello? uh huh? That actually sounds awesome right now. I'll meet you there in an hour."

Astrid: "Hey Roscoe! It's really good to get out of the house right now."

Roscoe: "Oh yeah?  Why's that?"

Astrid: "Well, my husband just dumped me as if we were in middle school, so that's fun."

Roscoe: "Jeez. That guy sucks, though. You deserve a man with a little more class, and a real job."

Roscoe: "And who can do a bunch of sit ups like this."

Astrid: "Get a guy who can do both, right? Can you stop doing situps though? We're in public and it's not actually that impressive."

Roscoe: "RIght. Sorry. They have a bubble blower, let's go try that out."

Roscoe: "Excuse me, ma'am, my friend has had a pretty hard day today, is there any way we can be alone at the machine?"

Townie: "No, I think I'll stay here."

Astrid: "Are you serious, lady? Who do you think you are? Do you have any idea who I am? With your sweater and purple leggings what year is it? 2001?"

Roscoe: "And those flip flops, don't you know it's January? of 2017?"

Townie: "Jeez, fine, I'll just leave."

Astrid: "Yeah, get out of here!"

Roscoe: "And stay out!"

Astrid: "What a jerk."

Roscoe: "You handled that pretty well."

Astrid: "You too."

Roscoe: "You're cute when you're really mean to strangers."

Astrid: "I really am, aren't I?"

Roscoe: "I still can't believe what he did to you. You're so great! You're pretty and smart, and kinda mean and really...manipulative. You're like every guy's dream girl.”

Astrid: "Oh, well, uh, I....thank you."

Astrid: "I like this place, and I'm so glad we have weed now! I mean...bubbles. Obviously. Just bubbles that change your feelings and comes out of a hookah."

Roscoe: "Um, Astrid. It's obviously for tobacco,"

Astrid: "If the guy at the front desk, sure."

Roscoe: "Nice. I'd like to do this again sometime, if you want."

Astrid: "I don't know about this exactly-"

Roscoe: "Right yeah, totally-"

Astrid: "Because I'd rather it be a real date."

Roscoe: "Oh. Well, then it's a date. When are you free?"

Astrid: "Tomorrow?"

Roscoe: "Tomorrow it is, then."

Astrid: “But I don’t have anywhere to be, we can stay out for a little while longer.”

Eliza: "So why exactly are we at the bluffs? This sucks."

Baldwin: "Yeah, if we're gonna cut class then we should at least go somewhere fun, like a bar, or a cat cafe."

Beatrice: "OMG guys you're being, like, so embarrassing now. Everybody knows that this is where the coolest kids go and hang out during school hours. It's like a tradition or a right of passage or whatever."

Baldwin: "Or we could’ve gone to IKEA."

Eliza: "Ooh, IKEA."

Beatrice: "Ugh! You guys are so washed! We just came here to hang out with the other kids from school. This is where the seniors hang out."

Baldwin: "We could've gone to the park and thrown rocks at joggers."

Eliza: "That'll teach them to throw their healthy lifestyle in my face."

Beatrice: "Shut up shut up! Just don't embarrass me, and I'll consider your job to be well done."

Beatrice: “You two have to learn the very obvious leon that who you are in high school is literally the Most Important thing that will affect your whole life forever and ever.”

Eliza: “Yikes.”

Baldwin: “No, you know what? I agree with Beatrice. Let’s make these Super Boring ancient ruins our bitch.”

Beatrice: “Yeah! That’s the spirit! But just don’t...say things like that anymore please.”

Baldwin: “Oh, was that not cool?”

Beatrice: “No, it totally wasn’t…”

Eliza’s Inner Monologue: “Oh god...this sucks. This is so boring. Nobody else is even here...no, wait there are some other kids over there- shit, is that who I think it is? Maybe I can text her from my pocket…”

Kelly: “Patty, I think your phone is buzzing.”

Patty: “Is it, Kelly? Really? Yeah, it’s in my pocket, I can feel it buzzing.”

Dianna: “What does it say?”

Patty: “I don’t have any idea, Dianna, I literally just turned on my phone.”

Dianna: “...So what does it say?”

Patty: “Oh my god! Shut up, Dianna! Why don’t you ever stop talking!”

Patty: “Singrid, can you please tell Dianna to shut up?”

Singrid: “Shut up Diana.”

Eliza: “Shit, why isn’t she responding? I’ll try her again.”

Dianna: “Patty, your phone.”

Patty: “I just...nevermind. This text says ‘I’ll give you 1000$ if you throw your blazer into a bush right now.’ What does that even mean? Is this a sex thing? Is this a new meme?”

Dianna: “Patty,”

Patty: “What is it, Diana?”

Dianna: “Somebody’s running over here.”

Eliza: “Oh shit, she saw them. Why doesn’t anybody just blindly do as they’re told anymore?”

Patty: “Beatrice? Long time no see.”

Beatrice: “What exactly do you think you're wearing?”

Patty: “A perfectly tailored white pantsuit, it’s kinda my thing.”

Beatrice: “You’re totally copying my idea to wear this blazer today!”

Patty: “I can’t copy it if I didn’t see it until literally ten seconds ago. And if I had seen you wearing it, I wouldn’t have, because until I saw it on you, I thought it was classy.”

Beatrice: “How dare you?”

Dianna: “I think it looks better on you, Patty.”

Beatrice: “...Shut up, Dianna.”

Beatrice: “We’ve all taken a vote, and we think you’re trying too hard.”

Patty: “At least I don’t look like a bottle of pepto bismol.”

Beatrice: “Pfft, what about your hair? It must be nice not to have to wear a helmet when you ride a bike.”

Patty: “Aww, if you were just a little bit smarter, I could teach you to fetch!”

Beatrice: “Well you’re just a-”

Eliza: “Hey, guys, we gotta get out of here. I think that’s mom.”

Baldwin: “Shit, you’re right, that is mom.”

Beatrice: “Who’s that guy she’s with?”

Eliza: “Doesn’t matter gang, we gotta boogie.”

Astrid: “Man, did we really stay out all night?

Roscoe: “Yeah, I think we did, and, due to the fact that we’re sims, and we can move extremely fast in our relationships, I think I’m in love with you.”

Astrid: “I love you too, Roscoe.”

(Also, did they add new hot tub animations? I could swear that they’re different now.)

Astrid: “Meghan, you’re killing the mood.”

Roscoe: “Astrid, I have one more place to show you, if you don’t mind.”

Astrid: “Ooh, is it a fancy restaurant?”

Roscoe: “You’ll see.”

Astrid: “So, what exactly are we doing here?”

Roscoe: “It’s pretty here, and I was thinking that it would be a good place to ask you to marry me.”

Astrid: “Pardon me?”

Roscoe: “Marry me? Right now? Because they have a park with wedding stuff at it now?”

Astrid: “Of course! But I don’t have anything to wear!”

Roscoe: “I think I have a couple tuxedos in my glove compartment, one of them might be white.”

Astrid: “What? Why would you have that in your car?”

Roscoe: “You mean you don’t?”

Astrid: “I look ridiculous!”

Roscoe: “You look incredible. Let’s go get married.”

That’s it for now, guys! And as a little side note, I wasn’t super sure about Roscoe at first, but then when he first moved in,

He would come home from work totally exhausted, and Astrid would be gardening, and instead of just going to bed he’d go outside and talk to her while eating cereal. He does this every. Single. Day. Seriously, it’s so cute, I love it. Also, who’s psyched for vampires? It’s gonna be great.