#like. lays on the fucking FLOOR I DONT EVEN HAVE A PRECEDENT FOR THIS THAT I KNOW OF

[trollbreak]

The brief moment of ‘I want to interact with other peoples sandboxes more’ before I’m hit by the cement truck of ‘I am viscerally afraid of misportraying someone’s lore and characterization to the degree that it gives me literal nightmares’

Ack

[mercuryazraeldrake]

II : Cunting frost trolls, and why I sing during battle

do u know what i hate? frost trolls. cunting frost trolls. 

alright, so this morning SWiege and i were finally called into action, thank god too i was starting to think the only reason they hired us was to be cold and look pretty. Either way this morning this scrawny little lad, in armor that most certainly did not fit him, woke us up and told us that the commander requested our presence today with his battalion. so we suited up. I even got to wear my fur Pauldron, seeing as how its cold as piss up here. I strapped on my spears and we headed out of the tent. 

Now by far one of my favorite things is the way or reputation precedes us. I mean we walked through the encampment these fucking soldiers looked like they were gonna shit themselves. if they weren’t whispering about seeing the Calamitys up close, they were stunned silent. We met with the commander and marched into battle with his battalion. I’m not really a fan of that bloke, he thinks too highly of himself. Someone should tell him that defending a cold as piss city against barbarian, is in no way a crusade blessed  by the gods.

So we found ourselves in the heat of battle, siege and i had already killed a piss ton of these sorry barbarians, when low and behold i here the roar of a cunting troll. Oh not a normal troll, no that would be far to fucking simple. No its a sodding 30 foot tall frost troll. So yes today i killed a frost troll and now i have sodding troll blood in the fur of my favorite pauldron. The northern empire is absolutely not paying us enough for this shit. but i’m used to killing things bigger than me.

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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skys are grey, you’ll never know dear how much i love you, please dont take my sunshine away.

On the morning of my 12th birthday mum woke me with her singing. She always did that. I loved her singing. she had made me breakfast. my favorite, egg sandwich. she reached into her pocket and gave me 7 gold pieces, which is amazing because its more than she would make in three months. She told me to have a good day and that she loved me. I of course couldn’t wait to spend my new fortune and rushed out not even telling her thank you.

i ran to Sieges house. we spent the day running about town, pulling pranks on town folks and pretending that we were assassins. i spend my entire fortune on a cheap dagger. I eventually  told Siege goodbye and i ran home, to show mum my new blade. I arrived home and flung my door open, to find my mother laying on the floor with a massive gash across her throat. Three men stood over her body. i couldn’t move. luckily i didn’t have to because someone hit me in the back of the head and i blacked out. happy fucking birthday to me.

The next few months are a bit of a blur. i was sold to a man, named Noblies. He was sort of like a walking zit, fat, greasy and generally un-fucking-pleasant. As his slave i was forced to fight and kill animals in dirty smelly pits, while the scum of the earth bet on my life. if i’m being honest i still have nightmares about dire rats and rabid wolves. After a full fucking year of killing animal with a rusty butchers knife, I found my self standing once again in a pit surrounds by the shouting of less than noble men, but facing me across the small octogon wasn’t some rabid animal. but another boy, with just as much fear in his eyes as me. 

He had a sickle, and i had a knife, which i will to this day argue the fairness of. I was surprised at how level headed this kid was swinging that sickle around. it took me half way through the battle to realize that the kid was singing. under his breathe but sure enough singin’ to himself. i figured Its what kept him calm.

That kid was the first person i ever killed. A kid just just like me. He was right about the singin’ thing though..