#like. im stuck between doing something more ''''''serious''''' like idk being shot.

[whomstdvelynt]

writing is HARD. how am i supposed to come up with an interesting way to kill someone without directly copying another piece of media and/or putting some Very Questionable Things in my search history.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Heyyy ok but what about dad!tom finding porn on his 15yo boy’s phone and having "the talk" with him 😭😭 I live for this😌

Trying writing again, seriously guys idk whats going on with me. And im terrible at doing “the talks” so take it as it is-

warnings: ya know..porn and praying children<3...and a hint of bisexual!tom👀

Its normal, Porn. The dirty sight for anyone to see. Tom did it once, only once though. He found it pretty creepy and stalkerish that hes watching people have sex. When he was 15 and thought about sex it caused insecurity because he noticed that you HAVE to get naked. It just shivered his veins. well of course until he met you. 

So when Tom and Wesley were cooking for your birthday, Tom forgot an Ingredient. “Hey- wes, can i borrow your phone?” tom struggled, his hands covered in flour as he looked at his sons phone. Wesley's eyes widened as his hands were also covered in flour, he turned, wiping his hands on the black apron before chuckling “y-yeah dad”. Tom laughed and also wiped his hands with a towel before grabbing his phone. Wes’s knees almost gave out as they shook and his body felt like it was going down a roller coaster, he jumped when his dad asked for his code. “Its my birthday” “oh- of course, it is” tom mumbled, leaning on the kitchen island as Wes got back to work, trying not to look weird as normally he would stand over his dads shoulder watching his fingers tap away in his phone, not that he did it before. 

Toms eyebrows furrowed as he bit his bottom lip, wondering if he should search through his phone while he already has it, only to shrug his head no saying thats not a good thing for a father to do. He clicked on the safari tab, Wes’s phone acting slow so he reached and grabbed his glass cup thats filled with water, only to choke and have his eyes widened. “Oh shit” wes mumbled to himself. Tom didnt even look further, he slammed the phone down but both of their ears turned red when a loud pornographic moan left the womans mouth “yeah fuck my cock”. “OH MY GOD” tom yelled in his british accent, grabbing the phone and screaming when he was met with liquids shooting at the camera, he shut off the phone and placed it back on the table, Wesley's hand slapped over his mouth as he cringed intensely by the word “cock” but then soon becoming more embarrassed that his dad knows he watches….well, that. “Im gonna use the bathroom” wesley said, not looking at his dad as his cheeks shot red. “Erm….im gonna set a 15 minute timer” “DAD” wes said storming off to the bathroom. “Im gonna die” wesley muttered to himself, cursing at the lord for letting this happen as he also begged for forgiveness and asking for this not to be a big problem, just on his knees infront of the toilet, apron still dirty as he shut his eyes tight. 

“God i swear if my dad leaves me alone i’ll pray EVERY night, i’ll sing- look i’ll sing this church song”

By the way, he only heard it from some where.

“Take me to the kinggg, i dont have much to bring” he didnt know anything past that so it didnt do anything in his favour, it only made tom furrow his eyebrows from the other side of the door before knocking making wes silently flinch at the holy ghost “just please- dont do this” he whispered. “I-i can hear you son” tom awkwardly smiled, “mind coming out now?” “ive only been in here for like 5 minutes” “can we just talk about it?” “i dont know if id be comfortable with that-” “or else it will be with me and your mom” “oh my god” wes stood up and did a “woo-sah” looking at himself in the mirror before turning around and hesitantly opening the door. Tom smiled and did an awkward wave “to the couch please”

“Dad i really dont wanna talk about this” wes said on the couch, touching knees with his father that was sitting right next to him. “No we have to- so be quiet and let me speak.” tom sent a look at wes making him grumble and hunch in his seat, but all ears. “Please dont watch porn, its terrible. Its addictive and its not how things work, trust me. When we made you it was pretty ugly in there-”

“DAD PLEASE” he groaned in his arms. “What! Im just letting you know! Im letting you know that when you- or you probably have but-” tom shrugged looking at him son. “Just make sure you use protection, uhm if you want me to buy you some i can- dont give me that look” “your literally talking to me about what goes around penises, what am i supposed to do, say i love you?” he groaned again. “Well its your fault! But anyway you need to make sure you get consent from her, make sure she- or HE is into it-” “oh my god” “what? I dont know your options?” “what are yours?” wes asked.

Tom smiled at his son, making wes’s mouth drop (i dont think its a secret that toms at least a LITTLE fruity) “anyways. Girls have three holes, ones for the pee and the others for the- pp. And the other one is for the other one. I dont think your ready for anal yet” tom gripped his sons knee. “Youve done-” “you ARENT ready for that talk” tom but him off. “But you need to make sure that the woman is lubricated enough because if she isnt it will be TOO tight and un-pleasurable for the both of you. If shes” he raised his fingers doing the quote on quote “loose, that means shes lubricated, dont listen to these assholes shaming girls for something they cannot control” he rolled his eyes, wes thinking about anything to drift off into space but very stuck. “Dont be nervous asking for help trying to find the hole, although it should be located right on top of her- ya know” tom too immature to say the word, something he cant say although he said only a few words ago. “But yes, make sure you wrap it! Im serious, i dont need more children” tom ordered. “Im the single child” “your also annoying” wes sarcastically smiled at his dad by his words. “Her clitoris is that- bean, yeah lets call it a bean” “you call a clitoris a bean?” “oh no, i give it a name more...boujee, but thats between me and your mom” “PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME THAT YOU AND MOM HAVE SEX” wes shouted while stuffing his head into a pillow. “What its normal! You were watching it!” wes grunted “my life is over” “oh it hasnt even began” “DAD” “im just sayin!-”

The boys heard the keys jiggle from the door before hearing a loud “hii!” “we are in the living room babe!” tom said, wes panicking more as he heard th door shut and lock before seeing his mom coming over. “What are you guys talking about?” tom looked at wes and wes silently pleaded for him not to say anything, but being the div he is “sex talk!” he threw his hands up. “Ohh! How fun, have you told him about the movements yet?” “PLEASE NO-”

[relatableventpage]

i love you forever and always, I had a this big speech I was going to give you for our 6 month coming up in a few days but now that youre gone I have no one to give it to. I really wish for the best in life and for you to get better with your health. Im always here if you need someone to talk to.

(name), I remember the exact night, time, what I was wearing, what you said to me and the first thing I thought of when we first met. I remember how I literally confessed to you like 4 times and the first 3 you IGNORED ME. But that 4th try was gonna be my last shot and after that I was giving up. (also not to sound salty or anything but you also REJECTED ME FOR VALENTINES DAY) but, Im so glad i tried again bc now ive got to spend 6 months, 6 whole months with someone i just might die without<33. Whenever im meeting new people i cant help but look for the you in them, words cannot express how beautiful you are and nothing will ever change the way i see you and think of you. You genuinely changed my life for the better, you may not have realised it because of the way things happened between everyone, but you helped me understand what real friends are. And the people I was friends with were anything but. You helped me understand the qualities to look for in people, and i really thank you for that. Yes, at times I do miss talking with them and hanging out with them because I mean, I was friends with them for quite a while; but if I had the choice to start over and decide you or them, id choose you again without a second thought, thats how much you matter to me. I know im kinda sucky at conforting people and maybe i come off as i dont really care or cant be bothered, but id do anything for you, if I could stop the world to help you I would. Gosh, if i could stop the world, id stop it just to spend time with you, even if its not in person id stop the world just to talk to you. Just to hear your voice. Please, please, please, if youre ever doubting something or need help, or even just need to get something off your chest, pleeeease know that i will listennnn. I cannot stress this enough aster, i fucking love you so much and I want the best for you. I dont want anything bad to happen. (name), you are the first person to ever make me feel good, about being me. People like that are hard to find and im so lucky to have found you when I did, because if im being honest, before we joined that stupid overly problematic server, i quite literally might have off'ed myself. Youre my first serious relationship and no matter what happens I know I wont love another the way i love you. Also did i mention i love you and if we were stuck in a box I wouldnt just be stuck in a box with you, id give u smooch😚. And that whenever I hear a song remotely related to loving someone you instantly come to mind. Or when i see my favourite flower im like "reminds me of (name)" bc of how much I love it. And when im walking by myself i always think "damn, i could be holding his hand rn to stop my hands from freezing and snapping off." Also you remind me of the song Money, by the drumbs, idk its not the lyrics that remind me its just the tune and instruments? they sound nice and beautiful, they make me happy i guess. Whenever I see a notif from you im like a little kid winning a stupid prize at a carnival, if im laying on my bed i literally kick my feet when im texting you. I dont care how long it takes for us to finally meet but believe me when we do expect the longest hug youve ever had. I know this is already really long but, i will honestly, truely, completely love you, no matter who you say you are. Maybe you feel really masc one day and then really fem, maybe you feel like absoultley nothing another day and all 3 at once the next. I dont care, I love you so much and you mean the world to me. If I lost you, id lose everything, because theres nothing worth more in my life than you. Happy 6 Months my love<33

[botwstoriesandsuch]

YES! POST THINGS! IM BORED!!!

Okie Dokie here you go!

The real reason I wanted an ask was because the original person who asked for this prompt isn’t in my inbox anymore...? Someone requested a one-shot about Revali failing at his gale, but I can’t find it in the inbox because I’m dumb/technology issues? (I think their name was trash mammal or something, idk). Anyway, here’s that, although I kinda, accidentally turned it into a character analysis of Revali...But an anon said that I apologize too much with requests. Therefore, I’m NOT sorry about that, I’m NOT sorry for the wait, and I’m NOT sorry that this is 3487 words long. Enjoy!

Edit: Sorry if the format looks weird on mobile, idk why!

The Pride of the Rito

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild

Revali x Reader

The night was bitter in more ways than one. The snow that tumbled down on the Flight Range was thick, leaving clumps of ice on the roof. The air was hazy, a silver atmosphere that commanded the winds to howl towards the sky. The rugged mountains that surrounded the area isolated him and the trench. The only thing that could be seen past the lingering snowstorm was the faint blue glow of Medoh in the sky, for even the stars were captured under the white, with not a twinkle in sight. Outside, the flurries rested on the tips of his feathers and beak, a delicate moment in the midst of his relentless training.

Again. Let’s do it again. I need to be more precise.  

Revali knelt on the edge, teetering between the solid ground and the emptiness below him.  

He brushed the tips of his wing against the rocks, the winds rushing between his feathers. His body relaxed for a moment, closing his eyes and feeling the air. Then, he tensed, stiffening his wings on either side, in a motion as if to summon something from the earth. Well, he was summoning something. The air, the wind, the movement, the authority to conjure a draft below him. The winds were now picking up, swirling violently and circling under him, he could feel his jade anklets clinking around from the rampant air.  

Keep going. Keep. Going. It needs to be stronger, faster. 

The falling snow was now alive, dancing around as they were swept into the hurricane-like entity that was now surrounding Revali. His braids were flapping in the air, his cream colored scarf billowing. The winds were now cutting, bitter cold nipping despite his feathered features. 

Now, up. Release with control, direct it upwards. Not all at once. Keep the energy. Follow through the whole way. Command the ascent. Steer the flow. This is it!

A shaky breath escaped him. A strange charge now filled the air. The winds, once turbulent, now suddenly stilled, seeming to wait for their cue. He could feel it still swirling, inside of him, ready to burst at any moment. Then, his wings, still strained on either side of him, gave a mighty flap. The air now roared back to life, swelling beneath him. 

A tornado, a great pillar of air, now released into the sky. 

And he flew

…straight into a rocky cliff. 

“ARGH–”

The wind, quite literally, was knocked out of Revali, as he connected with the rocky ridge. He dropped, and then fell on the ground with a thud. He laid there, aching for a moment, before letting out a deep sigh.

Revali started to move, slightly, just enough to get his head out of the dirt. Then he knelt on the ground, for what seemed like an eternity, contemplating. Finally, he got up. The Rito armor, now dusted with grey snow and rocky debris, had protected most of him, however, it couldn’t protect the blow to his confidence. He cursed under his breath.

It seemed that instead of streaming Revali towards the sky, the gale had pushed him back, sideways towards the surrounding cliffs. With another flap of his wings, he moved back towards the wooden hut, shaking his head.

He landed on the armrest of the balcony, making his way to a little oaken desk. Snatching his journal (astutely named The Diary of Revali, the Rito Legend) he started scribbling down notes. Of course, being so focused on recording his latest happenings, he failed to notice the Hylian sitting amongst the pillows and blankets behind him. Putting the rest of his thoughts onto paper, Revali turned around and was greeted by your smiling face.

“Gah! [Name]? What– when did…how long have you been here?” 

You gave a quiet chuckle.

“Just half an hour or so. A blizzard was coming in and I knew you would be out practicing again. Being stuck here, alone all night, isn’t really ideal. So���”

You moved the blanket off of you, spreading your arms wide as if to present yourself or pose. A cheeky grin on your face.

“Ta-da! Now you have company!”

Moving the leather strap around your shoulder, you tugged a satchel onto your lap. Digging through, you pulled out two sealed containers.

“Plus, I brought some spicy meat stew.” 

Revali shook his head, moving closer to the blankets, but not daring to sit down.

“That’s alright, I’m not hungry.”

Acknowledging, and subsequently ignoring his comment, you shoved the soup container towards his chest, forcing him to hold it. 

“What? You get full from eating the snow and pebbles from your fall just now?”

His eyes then narrowed, “I’m trying to train.”

“By starving and injuring yourself?”

“By perfecting my technique– Listen, [name], if you came here to distract me from my goal, I’m sorry to inform you that your efforts will be for naught.”

Revali turned around, placing the spicy meat stew on the desk. He started making his way towards the landing outside.

You have out a huff. Getting up to follow him, you tossed both of the containers back into your bag and started walking.

 “Instead of focusing on long forgotten spiritual magic, why don’t you just focus on being the best you, you can be?”

“Farore above, did you really just say that? Incredibly cliche, I expected more of you–”

“I was joking.”

“Hmm, we need to work on your sense of humour.”

Outside, the air stung on your cheeks. The snowstorm still clouded the sky, masking both the heavens and the earth in white. Shivering, you asked,

“Rito can already fly, can’t they?  This seems a bit redundant, you already have wings. What’s even the point of creating an updraft?”

Revali slowed his pace to give out a hearty laugh. In fact, he stopped outright, on the edge of the landing, the echoes of his laughter filling the air. At this point it wasn’t entirely clear if he was being sarcastic or not. You crossed your arms, he stopped when he met your stiff gaze.

“Oh, so you were being serious then…”

A familiar smug expression crossed onto Revali’s face. He hopped back onto the railing, perhaps so he could physically look down on you. He tucked his wings behind his back, leaning forward ever so slightly. A professor about to give a lecture. This should be good.

“Well, as understandable as it is that a Hylian couldn’t comprehend the benefits of such an ability, allow me to enlighten you. Rito style archery is the most superior in all of Hyrule for a multitude of reasons. The light crafting of the bow, the quick and efficient draw, our graceful movements and technique, 

“But most importantly…”

He took one foot of the edge, half hovering over the windy pit.

“…the ability of flight!”

Both feet were now off the railing. Revali dove head first into the abyss. While you knew he was probably going to be fine, instinct kicked in as you hurried to the edge to check on him. 

Snow still fell through the air, flurries were once again sticking to his feathers. But all he felt was adrenaline, along with the rush of air as he plummeted towards the bottom. Before hitting the watery depths, he unfurled his wings, catching the natural updrafts of the Flight Range. Now soaring towards the sky, Revali gave a few more mighty flaps to get even more height. 

Still on the landing, you watched as a blur of navy blue rose above the cliffs. Contrasting with the grey and silver landscape, the blur shot through the air. Then it hovered, just below the clouds, still as a leaf.

Above the Flight Range, Revali shifted the bow off his back, allowing it to drop. Repositioning his weight, he dove down to catch it with a practiced grip. Falling through the air, he flipped upside down, just for show. Taking arrows from his quiver, he knocked them into place. Three arrows, all at once, were released. 

Thud! 

Thud! 

Thud!

All made perfect contact with the bullseye, the blue luminescent paint on the targets showing evidence of Revali’s accuracy and precision. Revali fastened another round of arrows, drawing them back before letting them through the air.

Thud! 

Thud! 

Thud! 

Perfect, as should be expected of me.

Now, he was about halfway down in his descent. 

I think [Name] might be impressed if I warm up the place…

Taking the arrows near the bottom of the quiver, he took out three heavier bomb arrows. Round, scarlet heads held a good amount of gunpowder. Sparking them with a piece of flint on the arrow rest, the fuses were lit, and he let them loose. 

BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!

The once frigid air now subsided in the wake of three explosions. The colors of a sunrise clashed in the air, bits of the once turquoise targets nearly flung into your face. You ducked, the warmth of fire now filling the Flight Range. 

Revali spread his wings, catching the natural drafts once more, then settled back on the railing. 

“As you could see from my demonstration, taking to the sky allows for Rito to shoot our enemies without becoming a stationary target ourselves. However, you can only shoot for as long as you’re falling, and taking to the skies takes time.

“You can’t just flap your wings and get into the air immediately. That only works with natural updrafts, again, as I just demonstrated. An average Rito would have to start at an already elevated position, such as the landings in Rito Village, in order to gain enough momentum and height. Or, alternatively, use a long stretch of land as a runway, gaining height at an gradual angle.

He turned to face you, smirk still on his face.

“Both options take too long. You asked the significance of my ability? It’s the fastest way in all of Hyrule to take to the air. Instantaneous height, the ability to attack whenever, wherever. Thought impossible by everyone, but something that I have solely mastered.”

Or, will master, anyhow…

He strode towards you, bow returned to his back, wings, once again, folded behind him. He gave a deep bow.

You gave a polite clap, humoring his grand show.  

“Fantastic performance, Revali. Encore?”

“Tsk. If you came by more often I might consider it.”

Now it was your turn to put on a smirk. “Yeah, yeah. When I finish begging the elders to reward you with a statue, maybe I will.”

“I don’t want, nor need something like that.”

“Oh? But I have to reward you somehow…how about…”

You took out the stews from your satchel. Presenting it like a trophy, you held one out. Then, you tilted your head towards the hut with the pillows and blankets, as if to say, over there! You urged Revali again.

“You didn’t eat lunch, or breakfast!”

“Didn’t I just explain, a literal five seconds ago, how important it is that I practice my–”

“Aaaaaaand you can’t do that on an empty stomach, can you?”

You tried to catch his eye, maybe if he just looked at your eyes, you could get him to change his mind.

“You don’t need to put on an act around me.”

A jade eye shot up, meeting your gaze.

“I’m not–”

Revali looked at you, a new charge filled the air. 

“…fine. Just for a minute.”

. . . . .  

“Did you even attempt to heat this?”

“It’s almost midnight, and I made it at nine. You’re the one who decided to coop up here all day.”

Despite the temperature, the stew was delicious. For the last hour or so, he and you had been devouring in the flavorful dish. Apparently, it was an official recipe from Rito Stable. The meat, tender and soft, complemented well with a savory broth that you slurped every drop of. The spiciness tingled through your bodies, warming the both of you up. Outside, the blizzard was still present, but now less violent. A thin slice of the moon could be seen beyond the edges of the mountains. 

It was you who made most of the small talk with Revali, an incredibly rare occurrence since it was usually the Rito Champion who spoke for extended periods of time. He kept looking outside, near the cliff he had crashed into earlier. 

Damn, he’s really still stuck up on that, huh? You thought. 

Trying to change the subject to something that would get his attention, you piped up.

“So, the move you’re working on, what’cha gonna call it?”

Revali turned his head back at you. He fiddled with the spoon in his half eaten stew, thinking.

“Something with ‘Revali’ in it, so my name’s out there. Revali’s Flap, Revali’s Hurricane…Revali’s…something. I’ll work out something.”

You let out a soft laugh. “As expected from you.” Shoving another piece of meat into your mouth, you added, “Maybe, *munch* maybe do something like Revali’s Turbulence. Oh! How about Revali’s Boldness! Wait, *munch* no, that’s stupid. But maybe a name more along the lines of Urbosa’s Fury, or Mipha’s Grace, ya know?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I need to copy from the likes of Champion Urbosa or Mipha.”

“What? They both got cool powers. You know the saying is ‘good artists borrow, and great artist stea–”

“As I said, I don’t need to copy, steal, or piggyback on my fellow Champion’s esteemed reputation. Further associating myself with them will not be necessary”

You set your bowl down, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Nayru save me, don’t tell me you hate them too?”

“What?”

“I mean, I guess I know from experience that you insult people that you like.”

“I…what?”

“Although, not just personal experience. From what I could gather, you seem to actually hate Master Link, but everyone else you just insult because that’s how you make friends. Wait, or are you actually trying to be friends with Link and you just suck at this kind of thing overall…”

Revali interjected in your rant, turning all his attention to you.

“I don’t hate them.”

“Master Link?”

“No, Urbosa and Mipha. Well, perhaps that knight too I suppose. I–I haven’t decided yet.”

“Then why have you been so bitter lately?”

This caught him off guard. You set your bowl down, holding his gaze. This whole week, Revali had isolated himself in the Flight Range, being sharp-tongued to visitors, much more than usual.  He wasn’t eating, Hylia knows if he sleeps. You decided to stop beating around the bush and got to the core of the issue.

“Revali, I’ve known you for a long time and I know by now when something’s up. You’re angry about something, or scared, you tell me.”

“It’s. Nothing.”

“Is it your new ability?”

 “No.”

“You only got the title of Champion two weeks ago. If you’re feeling pressured, that’s natural”

Revali let his bowl clatter on the ground. Getting up, he made his way outside.

“I’ll eat the rest later, I have to start practicing now.”

You raised your voice slightly, starting to get irritated. “Why is that so important, that you’re sacrificing your health and well being for it?!”

“I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Are you trying to prove yourself? To me? To the Princess? The King? The Champions?”

Revali turned back towards you, but was still walking backwards. The sky was now serene, and full of stars, despite his not so peaceful expression

“I’ve already been deemed on an equal level with all of the other Champions. You know, the team made up of royals and accomplished warriors? I’m here because I’ve shown that my skills are superior to everyone else. Either way, I don’t need to prove anything to people that are of the same rank as me!”

“Hylia, you’re always so blunt with everything else, why not be straightforward now?”

“I am. I’m training because I’m an accomplished Champion who needs to train, not because I’m some mediocre warrior–”

“So you’re afraid of mediocrity?”

“OF COURSE NOT!”

Both of you stood there, stunned. While the tension was building between you two, Revali’s sudden outburst was sudden. You both stood there, wind playing with your hair, and dancing through his scarf.

“…of course not.” His final lie, whispered into the air.

For a moment, there was no sound but the whistles of the wind. You took a step forward, arm outstretched.

“Revali…”

He shook his head, shaking his wings, exasperated.

“OK, Fine! You want the truth, about the updraft? It’s not about the practical use, or the grand show, or defying odds. It’s about me, ok?  Right now I’m nothing, just a random cuckoo walking amongst royalty and legendary warriors.

“Daruk, the Goron Elder with an impenetrable force field. Mipha, the Zora princess, whose healing prowess is said to counter even the most devastating of wounds. Lady Urbosa, Chief of the Gerudo who can summon lightning at a literal snap of her fingers. How did I get in here? I’m put beside warriors who are obviously better than me, and what am I supposed to think? Without anything distinguishing about myself, I’m going to fade into history, behind the actually competent people. I thought I worked my ass off to get where I am today, but then I’m put behind some random knight with a shiny sword. So am I worth something or not? Everything’s contradictory, nothing makes sense.  Did I just get lucky? Am I getting screwed over? 

“The only way I can wrap my head around this whole situation is to confront the fact that I’m just an ordinary Rito who is only here by chance. The work I’ve put in my whole life isn’t enough, I need to go beyond. And beyond means actually mastering this cursed gale!”

An ugly pause. You could cut the heat and tension with a knife. Revali, realizing how much he had just poured out of his soul, gave a half-hearted chuckle.

“Heh, you put wine in that stew?”

His attempt to lighten the mood didn’t fully work. Nonetheless, you stared at him for another eternity. Then you went in for a hug.

“You’re the dumbest Rito alive if you really believe any of that. You are not mediocre. You’re incredible. Incredibly annoying, incredibly persistent at talking my ears off, but incredibly skilled and smart too. Hell, that’s why I’ve loved you for so long.”

Ignoring whatever reaction just escaped from his beak, you continued. 

“I would like to reiterate my point that you’re a moron. You can’t isolate yourself here and expect to get better. You can’t go through all this as a solitary warrior. If mastering this ability means so much to you, then go for it. I don’t doubt you for a second. But just know…just know that you’re a complete idiot if you think that you’re not worthy. You’re a fool if you think for even a second that you’re average or inferior, because…

You gulped.

 …because you’re everything to me.”

OK, I’ll admit that was super cliche. But catharsis is catharsis I guess.

The moment settled, and silence returned once more.

“Hylia, maybe I did put some wine in there.”

Revali gave out a soft laugh. Then, more quiet. Finally, Revali whispered.

“Did you really mean all that?”

“…yeah.”

A pause, a strange charge filled the air.

“Thank you, [Name]. That, uh, means a lot, coming from you. Truly.” 

The air was still once more. However, Revali’s thoughts still swirled like wind.

Say something idiot, they just confessed! 

Haha, yes, of course you like me, considering I’m the best around. 

Holy– They just called you out on your crap! Don’t say something like that

I love you too…

Wow, cheesy and not really part of the mood. Haven’t I presented myself as more sophisticated than that?

Spirits above, what do I do now???

“I’m sorry.”

You looked up at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been making you worry all week.”

“It’s fine, I–”

“No, it’s not fine. We just established how that was not fine.”

Revali looked back at you, clearing his throat.

“Hey, so about all that about love, and stuff–”

“Oh my goddess, yeah, no, if you want to just stay friends I can–”

“Oh no, well. Just to be clear, you were talking about me, correct? You weren’t mispronouncing someone else’s name, or referring to someone else named “Revali?”

You cocked an eyebrow.

“No…I–I was referring to you. The person I was talking to.”

“Ah. Good. Glad that’s clarified. That’s great.”

“…so do you–”

“OH-oh-oh, right, uh yes.”

Revali took a step back, pointing at you with both index fingers. His beak was open, but no sound escaped for a moment. 

Say it! They said it a few minutes ago!

I love you too!

“I have also, liked you, a lot, for a long period of time. You’re, pretty great. Yep. Yeah. This is mutual, yes…” 

Gods, I’m really am an idiot

[comicteaparty]

November 8th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on November 8th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Anacrine Complex by Sae.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Anacrine Complex by Sae~! (http://pigeoncomic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

RebelVampire

i liked the whole sequence in Lee's head. illustrative wise it was really creative and had so much subtle detail that helped breathe that sense that they were not in the real world. not to mention the color balance really leaves you feel kind of ominous

ShaRose49

What criticism? Man, I agree! I loved the sequence in his head, it was cooler to me than Inside Out in many ways cause it reminded me more of my own head

I think Lee was my favourite but Ben was so funny he reminded me of Hinayana from Haikyuu

Superjustinbros

Hello there~

ShaRose49

Hinata

Is what I meant to say

Hi!

Superjustinbros

Pleasure to be here ^^

ShaRose49

My favourite scene was probably the scene in Lee’s mind too-but I also loved the Jujitsu scene, and the scene at the beginning with Ben and Lee and the explosion

The pleasure is all ours

And I just found out that I have nowhere to be this evening so I’ll probably be chatting more than I thought

RebelVampire

fantastic

Superjustinbros

http://pigeoncomic.com/page/4

Looking through, I found this one charming

ShaRose49

It was a ton of fun

RebelVampire

i think ben is my favorite. cause while hes not as serious or practical as lee (which lee is a precious angel), i like how he has to basically interpret everything as a game. and i think they just make him really unique and entertaining

i like ben and lee as a package though. i think they have an interesting personality mesh that isnt quite perfect for drama but isnt quite completely opposite so they can work together and achieve common goals. like its that perfect blend of subtle awesome that not a lot of comics can achieve

Superjustinbros

http://pigeoncomic.com/post/170447488832/spider-ben-spider-ben-does-whatever-a-spider-ben This one was also good, the effects especially.

ShaRose49

Yeah I think characters were this comic’s greatest strength, which is the most important part of a story to me

AAAH that was great

Superjustinbros

Oh yes

Characters mean lots to me

Of you write them well and provide enough side-material to back them up

RebelVampire

yes that was definitely a fun scene. in general i like how the powers are visually depicted. i think it was a great choice to give them all diff colors schemes and aesthetics. it makes them stand out and you can always tell who is doing what.

i also love the random pigeon cameos.

these are the most photobombing pigeons in the land

Superjustinbros

Giving powers different colors is part of the fun, IMO

mathtans

Made it. You can probably guess at my favourite scene.

Superjustinbros

Glad I don't live in New York City then

Let me guess

It's loaded with puns

mathtans

It's where the trigonometry was used to knock the guy out. ^.-

Superjustinbros

o

mathtans

Also, Ben was using degrees, rather than radians, implying that it is coming from his own experiences rather than some meta-math in the environment.

'Course he uses the imperial system too, for whatever reason.

RebelVampire

that scene made me sad with jealousy because even when i was good at math, i always sucked at mental math. XD

mathtans

The sequence in Lee's head was pretty cool and creative. I suppose I felt I couldn't get as into it, I think because it just represented such an invasion of his privacy. (I liked how Lee addressed the whole "manipulation" thing later.)

Heh. I think that sort of mental math is beyond most people.

The visual depiction of the math-type powers as more cubic/angular was a nice choice too, I found.

Superjustinbros

>Rebel mentions math while Mathtans is in the chat(edited)

mathtans

Math's good stuff.

Superjustinbros

yes

It was my best school subject

till they stopped teaching it after tenth grade

mathtans

Actually, I kind of hate it when "doing mental math" is presented as some kind of superpower. I don't feel like that's the case here, because being able to judge distances, monetize portions of food, and hit precise estimations isn't the same thing as "I can multiply real fast". So that was good.

Superjustinbros

Yea

mathtans

Incidentally, how does magnetization powers give one the ability to X-Ray? Maybe I missed something in my science classes.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Of all the characters, Lee seems to have the past that is most covered in mystery. What do you think happened in Lee’s past that caused him to have such a core of guilt? Was it related to Ana or was there something else going on? What even was Lee’s relationship with Ana? Why do you think Lee turned to illegal car theft activities, and what do you think caused him to go clean? Why do you think Lee is so desperate to patch things up with Sterling? How do you think Lee even knows Sterling in the first place? What do you think any of this has to do with the comic’s opening scene? Lastly, do you think Lee will manage to meet Sterling? If so, what do you think will happen?

mathtans

I think Lee and Sterling worked together in the past, maybe in a post-doc or something. There was that flashback sequence with the motorbike (I think that's what it was?) and stuff.

RebelVampire

arent mri machines basically just giant magnets?

i assume they took creative license based on that

mathtans

Ahh, maybe they are, right. Can't bring metal in and such.

RebelVampire

which actually explains why ben has that headache meltdown everytime hes near lee using his powers

cause like an mri machine, lee is pulling those metal shards

causing more damage

good job lee

lightlybow

Creator here, hey guys!! I'm so happy to see this discussion! To address the x-ray thing, there is a bit of creative license applied for sure. Lee can't literally see people's bones like in an x-ray, but he can sense metal objects and magnetic fields. I just had to find a way to visually represent that, and x-ray visuals felt like something that would be a really quick read for most of my audience.

And yeah Rebel, you're right on the money! Lee can easily move the little bits of metal around in Ben's brain if he isn't careful

mathtans

Right, the metal shard pulling thing I figured. (Also, I tend to agree with Lee that the guy should get that checked out! It cannot be good for the health.)

Oh, hihi creator! Must be early morning for you I guess.

Superjustinbros

Hello Lightlybow!

ShaRose49

Will Ben not have superpowers if the metal is removed?

RebelVampire

tbf going to the hospital might not do ben any good. cause if theyre in his brain thats already a very dangerous surgery

Superjustinbros

D:

ShaRose49

But will he get killed if he doesn’t remove the metal?!

mathtans

I feel like he might be able to calculate a way to deal with it mathematically. I mean, it was the substance on the metal that gave him the abilities, right? And it's supposed to be healing or something, so that's probably why he's still functional.

ShaRose49

Yikes wow but still

mathtans

Removing metal from head before wounds close seems prudent. shrugs

lightlybow

Ding ding ding! Ben's powers do come from the metal! Idk how many details you guys want...

Superjustinbros

Now that's why he can't do the surgery then, cause, well.

He loses the powers

ShaRose49

I think Lee worked with Sterling and they both love the same woman and that caused a rift between them. Maybe Lee tried to win Ana away from sterling or left him when he needed him because of Ana. This may be the biggest cause of his guilt since the thought of talking to Sterling is the only hope he has

But what if it’s unhealthy for Ben to have that metal??

mathtans

Ahh, interesting. (I mean, what do I know, right? ^.- ) Maybe Ben will learn that he doesn't need superpowers to be a cool guy. Particularly if he retains the fighting techniques.

RebelVampire

it is definitely unhealthy for ben to have metal in his head, especially around lee who can make it worse. XD i dont forsee ben wanting to give up powers tho

mathtans

Sha: I'm kind of with you, but I'm not sure Ana necessarily caused a rift directly... I feel more like maybe Lee decided he just couldn't work that close to them any more, and went looking for other work.

Illegal work, possibly.

Maybe he's got a bit of self loathing or something.

lightlybow

In terms of metal in the head/ injuries! There are reported cases of people living normal lives with shards of metal stuck in their brain matter. I was going off those when writing Ben, especially a case of someone who shot themselves with a nail gun and turned out to be just fine

Superjustinbros

That's an interesting piece of trivia

I have heard of people living with bullets lodged into their brain for years

as an example

mathtans

I've heard of that stuff, possibly even seen an XRay one time. Gives me the willies.

RebelVampire

yeah its definitely possible. but basically no mris ever which limits diagnostic tools ppl can use

which is not good cause mris are super powerful

im gonna go out on a limb and assume ana is dead or potentially in a coma. and that lee is (or assumes he was) the cause because whatever he used to contain the medicine that sterling had him built

and thats where his guilt is

mathtans

Lee's kind of my fave character, actually. Ben is too eager to treat everything as some kind of game, and Veda has no respect for boundaries.

RebelVampire

and that what happened between lee and sterling is they both feel responsible for what happened

and while lee wanted to move on, sterling wanted to obsess

mathtans

Rebel: If that's the case (interesting theory), maybe Lee just feels like if he'd stuck around (assuming it happened after he left), he'd have been able to do something.

RebelVampire

yeah.

alternatively

maybe ana is just sick in the hospital

and sterling is obsessing trying to save her

mathtans

Maybe he even has a theory for how to fix things but Sterling put a hit out on him and refuses to hear anything.

RebelVampire

and while lee should be supporting her he doesnt have the strength too

mathtans

Either way, if they end up talking, I feel like it would be near the climax.

Superjustinbros

Seconding Math

ShaRose49

I don’t think Ana is dead, otherwise this would be a lot like Miraculous Ladybug is recently

RebelVampire

i forsee that, but i also hope they dont wait till the climax. and that they hug and talk it out. and while they patch some things up theres stuff about the disease that fall to deaf ears on sterling's part(edited)

mathtans

I don't follow the reference, but okay.

ShaRose49

Sorry Miraculous is a silly romantic superhero cartoon that I love for some reason

RebelVampire

yeah i go back and forth on ana being dead. although i think we can at least assume something bad happened to her

mathtans

Just want to say, I thought putting in that scene of Sterling was a great move. I'd kind of pictured him having gone all "mad scientist", so the idea that he's kind of tortured and trying to fix things was an interesting window.

ShaRose49

Yeah I felt sorry for him he’s like an even more realistic Hawkmoth sorry I keep referencing Ml

ML

I love the realism in the drama for this comic

mathtans

Plot twist: Ana is actually one of the pigeons. Things went terribly wrong.

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked what that scene of sterling did

cause it knocked him down from enigmatic evil overlord to tortured human soul who is trying to fix something he doesnt know how to fix

lightlybow

OMG MATH

I'm crying

RebelVampire

ana is trying to tell lee shes a pigeon this whole time but lee just doesnt get it

lightlybow

all the pieces are falling together

mathtans

Ana tried to use the bird woman to get her message across. That also went badly.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Much of the current events of the comic are now being driven by Veda who wants to save her sister. Do you believe all Veda really wants to do is save Dani, or is something else going on? Do you think Dani is being held against her will, or might there be a reason she doesn’t want to see Veda? How exactly do you think Veda became exposed enough to the medicine to gain her powers? Is Veda so aggressive with her powers because of desperation to save her sister, or do you think it’s telling about what Veda does for a living in some way? At the hotel, we also see Veda get sick for a moment. Do you think her sudden illness is revealing? What about her words as she looked in the mirror? What consequences do you think this “sickness” will have for the group as a whole?

Superjustinbros

Math does it again

But I do wonder if there is some kind of dark secret to the pigeons, and why they're everywhare

lightlybow

"That also went badly"

ShaRose49

I think Veda is trying to save her sister, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another motive as well. I think she gets fatigued severely from using her powers too much

Superjustinbros

I mean, magic exists in this world so that wouldn't be far out of the ordinary

but back onto the subject

RebelVampire

on a tangent i liked lee's convo with the old lady because it was so utterly ridiculous on so many levels. like who approaches some old lady on the bench and assumes she knows a lot about pigeons just cause shes showing them mild affection.

ShaRose49

Wait magic?! I missed that

Yeah but he was desperate lol

junebugjo

More like superpowers

Superjustinbros

As in, the en mase of pidgeons being a result somehow of everyone having powers

ShaRose49

Yeah I don’t think this was magic I didn’t get that at all just superhero sci-fi

Superjustinbros

lol

ShaRose49

Magic and sci-fi together can annoy me sometimes I just love my scifi

RebelVampire

i do think veda is trying to save her sister. but part of me wonders if its not just that her powers exhaust her. what if veda has the disease too and thats actually why she was exposed to the medicine? that is my out there theory

ShaRose49

Oh yeah....

That could be it

I wonder if people get the disease if they get the powers or if the powers don’t actually cure you

RebelVampire

oh man thatd be ironically sad. that the cure comes with the disease

mathtans

Sorry, in and out as the little one makes a fuss. I wonder if Veda's trying to save her sister more for herself than for her sister's sake. Like, she feels guilty over letting her go in the first place. (And what other doctor is she going to take her sister to if they get out? I mean really.)

RebelVampire

yeah i thought that too

about where would veda even take her

lightlybow

Yeah there aren't really any other doctors who can solve her problems but she's desperate

ShaRose49

Yeah Math could be right. (I’m doing Laundry right now lol) good luck with your little one!

RebelVampire

any other doctor is probably gonna tell her theres nothing they can do but make her comfortable and manage the symtoms

and give a death time estimate

lightlybow

*curently

*CURRENTLY DANGIT

Superjustinbros

Guess doctors aren't common in this universe or soemthing

junebugjo

Well doctors who can cure the disease aren’t

RebelVampire

well doctors who can cure this specific disease, yes XD

lightlybow

Junebug! Hello!

junebugjo

Hey!!!

RebelVampire

to answer another question on the list, i think dani's imprisonment is a bit of both. that sterling 100% is holding her but that even if veda came dani would tell her to go away for some reason. maybe to protect veda...or maybe veda and her had a fight just like lee and sterling had a fight. and later on that fight is something lee and veda can bond over

junebugjo

Certainly the fact that her ailment can’t easily be cured by someone else is a motivation for Dani to stay with Sterling

mathtans

Or maybe Dani also has mind powers and can tell that Veda's not being real sincere or something.

Superjustinbros

Hello Junebug~

lightlybow

Something the future script will touch on is whether the Cure is more important than the Person. If their physical health should be prized over their emotional well-being

RebelVampire

that sounds deep

ShaRose49

Hmm. I don’t know I wonder if Lee and Veda will start to like each other. Probably not but they do have some things in common

junebugjo

I really want them to(edited)

ShaRose49

What good is emotional well-being if you’re sick as a dog? You need a combination of both I guess

junebugjo

I desperately need them to be begrudging friends / partners in crime

ShaRose49

Haha

mathtans

He is a chick magnet. (That was a good line.)

Superjustinbros

Good one Math

RebelVampire

i feel like before lee and veda can get along they need to have a huge fight. like get all their reservations an stuff out in the open air. cause at the moment the entire relationship is kind of soured by veda's emotional blackmail

lightlybow

Yeah as it stands there's not much room for "getting along"

Superjustinbros

Yeah, that there's pretty twisted

junebugjo

I’m just a big sucker for characters like Veda esp if she goes through some good ol character development

lightlybow

wink wonk

RebelVampire

i think of the characters veda is the most likely who's gonna grow too. cause right now shes toeing that bad guy line a bit too hard

QUESTION 4. All these super powers are caused by one thing: Sterling and his magical Anacride medicine. Why do you think Sterling developed this medicine in the first place? Does it have something to do with Ana given the number of times she’s shown when talking about the disease it cures? What is going on with Sterling currently given he refuses to let families see those in his treatment program? Are there some sort of detrimental side effects he can’t control, or is something else afoot? Do you believe he can fix everything, or are the powers and other side effects now permanent? Also, what do you think happened to him that landed him in the hospital during one flashback? Finally, what does all this mean for Ben given that he has metal dangerously embedded in his head? Are Ben’s powers really caused by a brief exposure to the medicine, and will this journey change him in some way?

Superjustinbros

Character development makes the world go round

junebugjo

Ana could have the disease

Also is the uh medicine named after her

I feel like he could be desperate to find her a permanent and less detrimental cure so he goes through others not caring what happens to them so he can save Ana ?

RebelVampire

omg

i never connected ana's name was in the word anacride

junebugjo

I just now saw it capitalized and was like ???? Maybe ????

lightlybow

DING DING DING

junebugjo

Do I win a prize

Lol

lightlybow

Yes you get a pigeon. Here

junebugjo

I will take good care of him

Superjustinbros

Aww

RebelVampire

thatd be a sad approach is sterling was using everyone else to test the medicine before testing it on ana, assuming shes a victim. but now im wondering if maybe she isnt a victim. maybe she helped make the medicine but she had a falling out with sterling and now sterling hopes that if he makes the medicine succeed ana will love him again

Superjustinbros

Maybe

junebugjo

I feel like Ana has some dark side to her

mathtans

Okay, back, mostly. Oh, good call on the naming! Didn't register that.

junebugjo

Like she at least a little bit fudges the lines when it comes to pharmaceutical experimentation but wouldn’t go as far as sterling would idk

mathtans

Remember there was that flashback scene where Ana was actually helping Sterling due to his heart problem or whatever. I think maybe SHE developed the medicine, and Sterling's trying to perfect it for her.

So I guess similar to the "love me again" idea.

Except maybe it's just in her memory.

'You will be the last victim of this disease'...

RebelVampire

well tbf, the only viewpoints weve had of ana are those from ppl who love her in some capacity. so to them ana is probably an angel. so her having a dark side would not surprise me at all cause nobody is perfect an all that jazz

and yeah i considered that too, math. that this could just be a "last victim of the disease" sort of thing

mathtans

Ana is actually an NPC in the story.

She hands out the quests.

As a pigeon.

RebelVampire

its a good thing they have ben. he will figure out you have to accept the pigeon quests in order to progress the story

Superjustinbros

I shall do that o_ o\

Give me all them challenges

lightlybow

The clues were there all along. There she is, pigeon # 62

mathtans

Yeah, some of the "deluded Ben" stuff when Lee first found him was amusing. I'm glad it didn't become an overlong gag though.

lightlybow

http://pigeoncomic.com/post/162180122762/the-horror

Superjustinbros

For a sec I thought those were bats

mathtans

Speaking of amusing things - I liked some of the little background naming things. Like the diner that had been crossed out and it's like "Al's now" or whatever. Or the donut box saying to drink juice.

lightlybow

I'm so happy you noticed

mathtans

My favourite was the self defence book. "This convenient book is going to show you how not to get punched in the face".

Superjustinbros

The best kind of book

lightlybow

And in Ben's apartment there's a statue of Han Solo with the words "_ shot first" and the name is covered

mathtans

I think it also had a picture of the Matrix in it or something.

junebugjo

THATS MY FAVE

the Han statue

mathtans

Ahh, I interpreted that as "Han" (the statue) "shot first".

lightlybow

Oh I see!

mathtans

Probably why Ben's roommate moved out. A Star Wars disagreement.

lightlybow

Anyway I'm glad you guys enjoy the stupid jokes in the flavor text

junebugjo

I almost walked out of watching a new hope bc my friends all said exactly the opposite of who I think shot first

Superjustinbros

Always fun when the author sneaks in background gags/jokes

lightlybow

OMG

mathtans

I wonder what's in the van. Like, is it more of the drug? Could they actually analyze it before they do the run? (Though, they probably don't have time for that.)

RebelVampire

i assumed it was more of the drug

although

that begs the question of how its made

cause youd think sterling would make the drug in his lab

mathtans

Maybe he outsources.

junebugjo

Maybe ingredience

mathtans

Right, just gotta mix it with fructose.

lightlybow

The drug needs to go through a special process of pressurization and maturation before it's viable... so Sterling designs the drug but no one knows if it will work for a few weeks until they test it

mathtans

It's important to be mature about such things.

lightlybow

pun game on point

mathtans

Oh, nice detail about Lee's card being demagnetized btw. Hadn't occurred to me.

Poor guy.

lightlybow

In that pigeon comic it's implied that he keeps breaking watches too. It's really inconvenient!

Superjustinbros

Well, I guess it's almsot the end

RebelVampire

having magnetic powers sounds like all kinds of trouble. cant take him camping cause hell throw off the compasses. although you could use him to hold metal screws for you without them getting lost

mathtans

Right! I remember noticing that. Guess it does make it easier to fall off the grid.

Superjustinbros

In that case cya, and thanks for the great reads, @lightlybow

It was great metting ya.

mathtans

I wonder if Ben will compare him to Magneto.

junebugjo

He should

ShaRose49

I wonder what Dina!s gonna be like she looks like she could be a sweet but tortured soul

lightlybow

Great meeting you too @Superjustinbros !!

ShaRose49

He already did compare Lee to Magneto!

I remember he said “You totally Magnetoed him”

mathtans

I am clearly not paying enough attention. Must have read it as magnetized. It makes sense given his Marvel references.

lightlybow

Omg rebel I just imagined Veda sticking screws to Lee's face like "Here, hold this"

ShaRose49

Omgosh

mathtans

I could see that.

Anyway, definitely pulling for Lee. Guy can't seem to catch a break. Hope his mental demons are appeased.

lightlybow

Me too, buddy. Me too

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Sae, as well, for making Anacrine Complex. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Sae’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://pigeoncomic.com/

Sae’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cottonart

Sae’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/lightlybow

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Skeletons in the Closet by Niah. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, November 15th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: https://tapas.io/series/Skeletons-in-the-Closet

[willgayers]

reddie at a fuckinn,,, office christmas party and eddie is like 'oh finally my chance to talk to the cute guy (richie) that works in HR' but then richie walks in and he's wearing the UGLIEST fucking christmas sweater ever and eddie loses his shit ((idk this just came to mind do what u want with it)) ((((this is kinghanscom ily)))

@kinghanscom MY ACTUAL GOD ,,, I WORSHIP ,, LOVE, AND ADORE YOU

theyre like ,, 25-26 here

office christmas parties… oh god

first of all they’ve been seeing each other in work the whole year, never really talked 

they were in the break room at the same time a couple of times but they never really got far with talking

as richie was always busy being the jester of the break room 

but one time he winked at eddie before he turned his gaze away to talk to somebody else again 

and eddie rushed away with a blush

and his donut

well yeah,,, back to the christmas party:

“hey greta” eddie smiles at the old info counter lady as he walks in 

“hello eddie,,, here take this”

she gives him the “hi my name is” sticker

eddie writes “Eddie” on it and sticks it to his baby blue button-up 

he grabs a glass of the “champagne” on the tray but its probably some cheap apple cider just put in a fancy glass

eddie sips it and cringes

yep he was right

soon he turns his gaze to the left side of the hall, where laughter is coming from

who else but richie tozier is in there,,, entertaining as usual

eddie bites on his lip because tonight would be a great opportunity to finally talk to the cute scrawny guy 

like eddie had no idea if he was gay or anything (at least not according to the awful shoes he wore) but he HAD winked at eddie so??? 

suddenly everyone starts to disappear from around richie,,, to get more drinks or smoke cigars or something

richie gets left alone,, and eddie notices how he pulls his smartphone out from his pocket and starts to scroll on it

now is your chance kaspbrak

eddie gulps the cheap apple cider down in one take and leaves the now empty glass on the table before making his way to richie 

he inhales and exhales once more,,, before he steps forwards

“hey” eddie says

richie turns around, not expecting to see who he did but now a huge smirk takes over his face

“hey!!! its you”

eddie’s gaze slides down to the shirt richie is wearing

its,,, a ,,fucking shirt,,, with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer 

“what the FUCK is that” eddie asks, nodding towards his shirt, his gaze still stuck on it 

richie glances down at his shirt again

“its a shirt with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer” he says

“oh my fucking god” eddie facepalms

“what???” richie asks “you dont think its cool???”

“NO i dont think its cool i think its a fucking disaster”

“excuse me i paid good money for this” richie jokes

“wasted money i say” eddie says, and now regrets drinking his apple cider down in one go 

he notices an abandoned glass on the table next to him tho so he leans to grab it 

“whats your name, flower of positivity?” richie asks

eddie looks at him for a moment, wondering whether this was a bad freaking idea 

but then he remembers he’s literally been swooning over this guy throughout the whole year

“eddie” he says “says so in here too”

he points at his chest

“ah! right” richie says

eddie turns his gaze to richie’s sticker

which says

“hi, my name is…

CHICKA CHICKA SLIM SHADY”

eddie raises his brows

“are you kidding me”

richie smirks

“pretty genius huh”

“no. thats awful. and used”

“you’re very negative aren’t you” richie smirks, tilting his head and sipping his drink 

eddie had no idea why he was like this tbh

somehow this guy annoyed him to the maximum?!??!!? BUT WHY?!?!?! 

just a few minutes ago he was standing in the elevator his tummy turning around at the thought of running into richie tonight

“you’re really weird” eddie just says

richie laughs

“is that all?”

eddie looks at him quietly

“sit down,,, eddie”

richie pats the empty seat next to him on the awful leather couch

eddie hesitates for a moment but then sits down

“so,,, eddie…..” richie starts “im richie”

eddie fake gasps

“so youre not slim shady???” he asks dryly

richie smirks so wide because ?!?!?!??! !

EDDIE KASPBRAK IS FINALLY TALKING TO HIM 

(he actually knew his name was eddie already)

(because richie’s got the BIGGEST crush)

(it all started when he saw eddie in the break room the first day and noticed eddie picking out a donut for five minutes and then glancing around to see no one was witnessing,,, he grabbed two)

(and didnt realize richie was outside behind the counter)

(so he asked his name from greta)

(and she told him)

(and the whole year richie wanted to talk to him but thought eddie wouldnt like him so he made sure everyone ELSE liked him first and that eddie would notice richie was actually very likable :(((( ) 

(ANYWAY BACK TO THE PRESENT MOMENT)

“i knew you were funny” richie says

“i am kinda funny” eddie shrugs

“thats unfair. usually you can only pick one”

eddie frowns 

“huh??”

“i mean,, you’re already cute as heck. and you’re also funny?? thats not fair. pick one”

eddie blushes vigorously as his jaw drops a little because holy fuck that was smooth

and richie smiles wide 

“youre-”

then all the people march back in from out of nowhere

“HEY RICHIE YOU WANNA COME TAKE SOME SHOTS? JAKE JUST GOT THE VODKA BOTTLE!”

they both stare at the workers,,, and then glance at each other

eddie’s kinda disappointed because he only ever hangs out with three people and richie’s the more famous one 

so obviously he’s gonna go with these people

why would he stay with eddie

“no thanks guys im gonna stay here with eds”

“with who????” eddie raises his brows in a excuse-me-what’d-ya-call-me way 

“you sure???” the guy who suggested shots asked, a little confused

“yeah” richie nodded “am perfectly comfortable here”

eddie blushes again but this time there’s a small smile to it as he looks at richie

richie winks at him

“okay. fine” the guy says

“BOOOOORING” one of them says from behind him and off they go 

“you didnt have to do that” eddie says

“but i wanted to” richie shrugs “why would i care about some vodka shots when i have something much more interesting going on here,,,”

“okay romeo enough with the flirting” eddie chuckles

“why though?” richie tilts his head “i find you extremely flirty-worthy”

“you dont even know me” eddie smiles amusedly 

“i know you stole two donuts on our first day” richie says and sips his drink as eddie gasps and his jaw drops

“I THOUGHT NOBODY SAW ME”

“well you thought wrong sweet tooth” richie smirks

“its just,,, who the hell can decide between a raspberry sprinkle and a salted caramel?!?!?!?”

“i totally get you” richie nods understandingly “i feel the same about a chocolate and a crunchy crunchy one”

“YEAH” eddie says “like honestly i think everyone should be allowed to take two donuts. one donut… what the fuck is this, the biggest loser????”

richie laughs

“yeah i know right”

“yeah” eddie says, sipping his cider again

and richie smiles

because wow they havent talked for even thirty minutes but he’s like so fucking whipped already????

“i didn’t tell anyone though” richie says

eddie looks at him for a moment,, his heart swelling up a little 

but he doesnt show it outside

“good. because i would have fucking wrecked you”

“oh i dont doubt that for a second” richie says

and he means it 

eddie looks at him for a moment ,,, starting to smile but then he laughs

like really laughs

and richie is heart eyes 

“whats your opinion on cinnamon sugar though?” richie asks

“its okay” eddie says “kind of boring,, but its okay”

“agreed” richie nods

they look at each other for a moment before eddie speaks

“i gotta confess”

“i am not the father”

eddie laughs again

richie’s proud w himself and smiles 

“no,, im serious. i uh,…. i knew your name was richie”

richie raises his brows lightly

“,,,reeeeaaallly????” he asks, starting to smirk 

of course eddie did

one of his work buddies,,, tacy caught him staring at richie one day 

…. 

“what are we looking at”

eddie gasped and turned around, seeing tacy wiggle her brows at eddie  with a cup of coffee in her hand

“jesus,, how long have you been standing there”

“long enough to notice you’re totally daydreaming about the new guy”

“I AM NOT DAYDREAMING ABOUT THE NEW GUY HOW DARE YOU!” eddie gasped

tacy raised her brows 

okay fine

tacy was right

eddie just glanced behind him again,,, looking at the curly haired guy unpacking his box

“you know him???” eddie asked and turned back around

“yeah” tacy shrugged “his name’s richie”

“richie??” eddie asked 

“richie tozier” tacy said, turning her gaze to the guy “and i would climb that up like a tree”

“hey! i saw him first” eddie half-joked, frowning and tacy burst out laughing

“calm down, kaspbrak, i’ve got a boyfriend” tacy said. “but if i didn’t, though…. mmmm-mmm-mm-”

eddie playfully smacked her arm, making tacy laugh again

“come on, we got work to do” tacy said

“but-”

“you can talk to him on lunch break”

—-

(he never did)

“yeah” eddie says “my uh… my friend tacy told me”

“tacy?? tacy’s your friend??” richie asks

eddie gets a little bothered

“…yeah why?”

like has tacy done something with richie???

“she’s been flirting with me this whole year” richie shrugs as he gulps on his drink and slouches deeper to the couch and eddie’s jaw drops

THAT BITCH

ok eddie knew she flirted with everyone

bUT STILL

“dont worry. i was actually focused on someone else” richie says,, and turns his gaze back to eddie 

whose tummy flips again

“…..reeaaaaallly” he imitates richie from earlier and richie of course notices this,,, starting to smirk

“yeah. reaaaaally” he says

eddie smirks wide back at him, before he notices his glass is empty

“well, richie, my glass is empty.”

“oh my god no,,, we have to change that”

“i know” eddie fake gasps 

“that can not happen” richie says and gets up, holding his hand out for eddie who grabs it and richie pulls him up

“at a office christmas party? no way you’re gonna be sober”

eddie chuckles

its music to richie’s ears

they walk to the drink table and get more drinks

approximately a hour and a half later they’re making out hot and heavily inside a broom closet

gotta love office christmas parties

@superbyersbros@xbell22@donthateonk8@stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie@donvex@blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak@whipashwhipash@rissyq@richietoaster@edskasqbrak@urtury@bukiminajimu@kcutieeesblog@stansmansuris@adorefack@reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill@graveyardshipper@taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth@richiefreakingtozier@castletozier@tohzier@80soleff@lonewolfhard@low-key-dying@sad-synth @richietoaster@badboyharrington@beepbeep-losers @temptedtozier @kaspbraccs @kylieee827-blog@sad-synth @low-key-dying @officiallyreddie @reddietofall@stanleyboii@eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie @rosegoldrichie@80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard@trashmouthgazebos@littlepointman@finnhardwolf@allison0609@fabulousprinceali @tatiscribbles @s-s-georgie @coralinejones @richiestoziiers@tatiscribbles @bellsd129

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 313

Ermagherd guys, Droughtlander. It’s here. But it’s here with Hamilton stuck in our heads, cheesetastic secksi times and the knowledge that the beginning of next season is probs the most like the oh-so-high-up-on-that-pedestal-S1A than anything else in the series. (In a strange new place! Trying to build a home! Except this time they’re doing it together! With the kiddos! Plus a doggo! *grabby hands*)

I know I’ve been on the *cough* less than positive *cough* side of things a lot this season. And last season, if we’re being honest. And I was going to apologize for that, but honestly, I’m not sorry. That’s just how I fan. I flail about what I love, I rant about what I don’t. I’m *very* aware that’s not everyone’s cup of tea and that I’m the sort of fan the cast and crew shit on in interviews and on twitter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I enjoyed the finale for what it was. I squee’ed! I yelled things at the teevee! I side-eyed like whoa! So basically the same-ish reaction I’ve had to most of the episodes.

(I never bothered doing a full S2 rewatch, but I might do one for S3 just to see if it flows any better when watched all in one go, but I have a feeling it’ll still feel more like individual units than a cohesive whole.)

Anywho, beer-fueled nonsense that offers nothing of substance under the cut.

Finding more and more that I miss the old-style title cards.

Hard pass on doing this VO twice, tbh. Like we know obvi she’s not going to die. Just have it be where it plays out in the story.

Ok but all I can think about when the carriage stops and the crowd of people walk by is the part in The Mummy when they’re all like zombified and chanting Im-Ho-Tep.

I was just about to snark on Claire apparently having a change of clothes in the damn carriage but alas, we didn’t have to headcanon that she went and changed somewhere. No snarking for me.

Although for fucking serious? She changed back into the same damn outfit?! Ffs. Let the damn woman wear a different dress.

Aw, Fergus lets his wife come with him and doesn’t leave her behind in the woods with Willie. (I heart Marsali.)

“I’ll gut you” is apparently Young Ian’s go-to threat. It’s cute he already has a signature murder-style. Now you just need a rad serial killer name, dude. Take the hiatus to think about it.

This whole thing with Claire and Geillis is like ♬ I know, you know that I’m not telling the truth. ♬

I love that the Army/Navy rivalry spans both time and country.

But for real. Lord John in this scene is my goddamn everything. Sorry, Captain Babyface. I like you, but I need my dude out of those handcuffs and LJG is fucking *bringing it* right now. Can Jamie keep the handcuffs though? They might come in handy once he’s back on the Artemis... ;)

Ok but the final lingering shot of the pining face. Why. It was such a great scene. Lord John helping his buddy. Jamie being like yep, I still get in trouble, thanks for the assist. A nice goodbye. And it could have just ended there and been perfect, but nah, gotta smack everyone over the head with 1000% commitment to my least favorite trope.

#GetJohnABoyfriend2k18

Ah a “why are you here” callback to ep. 111.

For real though, Geillis is fucking nuts. Claire knows Geillis is fucking nuts. Claire knows Geillis has Young Ian. WHY ARE YOU LIKE HAVING CASUAL STORY TIME WITH HER, CLAIRE! DON’T TELL HER THINGS!

CLAIRE WHY ARE YOU TELLING GEILLIS ABOUT GOING BACK TO THE FUTURE! WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER ABOUT BREE! THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA! STOP SHARING THINGS WITH PSYCHOPATHS!

Also, we’re just casually talking about time travel in front of Hercules? I mean, I guess since he’s enslaved, no one gives a shit what he hears because it’s not like he can do anything?

“He was one of my favorites.” She’s fucking nuts but I still do love Geillis.

*zones out through discussions about the mechanics of time travel*

Did you really think you *weren’t* going to get locked in, Claire? YOU KNOW WHAT GEILLIS HAS DONE, YOU WERE CLEARLY GOING TO BE LOCKED IN. BREAK THE FUCKING WINDOW OR SOMETHING IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT.

I get that this is a parallel to the pilot when Claire’s watching the dancers at Craigh na Dun with Frank from the grass, but part of me is still wicked uncomfortable that they’re again using Black people as basically set dressing. I know it’s in the book, I wasn’t a fan of it there either.

How I think of Margaret during her Visions R Us office hours, basically.

Man, they really committed to this damn rabbit and bird thing. Maybe it’s some folks’ jam, but it never really struck a chord for me and the more they kept bringing it up, the more it makes me roll my eyes. Maybe because birds and rabbits were never a thing with Jamie and Claire? So it just seemed wicked random and kind of forced? Whatevs.

Hated Margaret channeling Bree in the book, hate it here.

This whole thing is so much weirder in the book, but just because they made it less weird for the show doesn’t make it good.

Like if we’re getting an exposition dump from Archibald about the prophecy, we really don’t need the weird Bree thing about someone coming to get her.

Yi Tien Cho channeling Inigo Montoya is kind of my everything. “I’m Yi Tien Cho. You are not worthy of this woman. Prepare to die.”

Petition for Rihanna’s “We Found Love” to be Yi Tien Cho and Margaret’s wedding song.

Omg so much explaining what we’ve already all figured out. We need to headcanon like 75% of Jamie and Claire’s reconciliation, but let’s spell out 2378235 different ways what Geillis’ plan is. (Maybe it wasn’t that many ways. But we’re doing a fuckton of exposition dumping in this episode.)

Ok seriously. The guy with the alligator head drinking chicken blood. Ugh. We got white savior stuff last week, but at least Temeraire had a part in the plot and got some agency at the end? Still problematic, but (maybe?) as minimally problematic as it could be if it was going to be included? This is literally just a backdrop for a conversation with Margaret. Blergh...

And then they have them carry off Archibald Campbell as Yi Tien Cho and Margaret look on in horror and omfg this is not good.

(ETA -- In which Roxane Gay says it better than I could: “It’s all very colonial fever dream, not so vaguely racist, and I honestly forced myself to let it go so I could continue with the episode.”)

“We lost Faith. We will not lose Brianna.” This line sure would have hit home a little harder had we actually seen Jamie give a crap about Bree at any point during the season. In the moment it works, but looking over the whole season *weakly gestures, tired of wishing things had been done differently*.

The goodbye kiss just in case though hits me in the feels. 

Well isn’t Geillis telling Claire “a life for a life” a nice perversion of Claire telling Jamie that he owed her a life in season two.

And then Jamie grabs her hand all gently and I have feelings about the two of them at the stones/pool, guys.

Why does dead!Geillis look super fake? I have questions.

Slash Young Ian is gathering up jewels or something, right? Before he runs out of the cave? He’s like picking shit up off the ground...

Still could have done without the bones in Joe’s office bit, tbh. But whatever.

I know she’s like a bit traumatized, but Claire holding a bloody machete is my aesthetic.

Awwww, lookit that lil family. *heart eyes*

Omg but the stuff on the ship is the eye of the storm. Like the episode is the storm. And the sex is the eye. Because in the eye of the hurricane, there is quiet. For just a moment. GET IT?! GET IT GUYS?! OK FINE I’LL JUST KEEP SINGING HAMILTON OVER HERE BY MYSELF.

I’m way too proud of myself for this tweet though:

“Surprised I dinna have a full head of white hair, after all I’ve suffered these past few months.” ONE LAST WTF, JAMIE *SIDE-EYE* FOR THE ROAD! (I know Jamie has been through some shit. But literally ever since Claire showed back up, he’s managed to make almost everything about him so even though it’s a little joke, this line is just icing on the omfg, you’re killing me Smalls cake.)

#TeamClairesVeryFineSkin

I for real thought this wasn’t going to make it into the show. I didn’t think the quickie in ep. 309 was going to make it either. Glad they both did.

Claire being like yep, I can remedy the I’m still wearing clothes situation, stat, is my everything.

It’s so cheesy, guys. I love cheese.

Jamie’s bangs though, guys. Can we get the man a new wig haircut before next season?

Omg, that ass grab. That ass grab is my everything. Idk why. But omg. RIP me.

They def have made the sex a little less explicit this year. Except for the rape that they decided to shoot like a softcore porn, wtaf. But like, that doesn’t matter? It’s never been about the amount of skin showing? It’s about showing the two characters being wicked into each other, because if they weren’t then going through all the shit they go through wouldn’t be worth it? I’m *rull* glad that the show has finally realized that that’s an important thing to actually have on screen instead of condescendingly telling us that it doesn’t matter or we should headcanon it like they did all last year.

Ok, here for Claire going full mama bear at Young Ian, but girl. How much doctoring do you really thing you’re going to be able to do in this exact moment if you go up on deck.

Slash, what was she waiting for the whole time everyone else, including the two people she was with, was clearing the deck? I know, I need to just go with it, but this is silly.

Ok this is the only time we needed to see this/hear this VO. Beautifully shot. The Faith music is gorgeous, but like I’m not reading anything into it like she’s watching over them or anything. More just like Claire’s in a liminal state between alive and dead like she was when Faith died.

Dude, kiss your wife when you’re both on the surface and it’s been established she’s alive. (I mean, it’s super sweet, but SWIM, JAMMF, SWIM!)

All snark aside, there’s something a little beautiful about Claire spending half the season basically drowning, unable to really save herself and no one else around who cares enough to save her. And now here she is again, literally drowning and unable to save herself, but this time there’s a handy ginger around to lend a hand. Because she’s not alone anymore. And I have feelings. So many feelings. All the feelings. Feelings.

As they’re floating on their scrap of wood, let me take the obligatory detour into the 20 year old grumble that there was definitely enough room on the door for Jack too. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, ROSE.

The thought of crawling around in the sand in wet clothes gives me hives.

“I told you I’d never leave you again.” ilu, claire bear.

Ok but they’re both so sad that the ship went down and everyone’s dead and stuff and it’s moving and yay for hugs, but like. You know nothing about where you are? Why jump to the worst case scenario? The beach is literally littered with stuff from the ship? You made it so other people might have too? Also, clearly all of the important people lived because otherwise this whole half of the season was pointless?

That being said, these two are really good at making their faces show feelings.

It’s really not a strange question to ask where you are, Jamie. You were in a shipwreck. GPS isn’t a thing. I’d say it’s a pretty normal question to have, bro.

OK BUT LOOK AT CLAIRE’S FACE WHEN SHE SAYS AMERICA HERE COMPARED TO HOW SHE WAS FEELING THE LAST TIME SHE ARRIVED THERE. EVERYTHING IS OK NOW, CLAIRE! I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THE FRASERS GETTING TO FINALLY START A LIFE TOGETHER, GUYS.

Literaloling over the rando family just walking away like yeah, uh, you guys do you.

fin.

[dev-hub4fixfict-ut]

Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch; chap 1

/racism, /hate crime, /physical assault, /alcohol, /c slur, /unsanitary, /witchcraft, /panic attack, bad writing. like, really bad. i wrote this when i was in a bs brainspace in highschool to cope.

a self-insert fanfiction where i write what happens after my runs of undertale. written in google docs and idk what im doing. Frisk is 12, use they/them, has a bullshit life, Chara also uses they/them, and is still here, and never meant for all this to happen, they hate each other, and Sans is still, and forever will be, a mess.

_________

here we go with that stuff !! im pumped enough to not collapse of stage anxiety ah ah.

please do not confuse my complicated style for pretentiousness. im but a wordy insecure fool. with a super touchy soft spot for a small fat skeleton. and lots of imagination.

this isn’t something for fontcest and frans shippers and gross ppl who villainize and misgender kids and call gay couples “hawt sin” tho. u guys are uglies and i hate you, go away. ;U

_________

“Sans” i deadpanned.

He perked up a little, his forever-fucking-smiling expression mirroring my tone -with his eyes. Eyes’ sockets. Those were the only hints of what he was actually thinking. Because his fake smile -fake, i’m so sure of it, so fake smile, it only ever dropped when Frisk’s puppeted body struck him down, the very only moment he stopped- wow getting sidetracked. Anyway.

“Sans.” i repeated. i need to repeat myself a lot. Verbal dyspraxia i think. He didn’t seem to know that and squinted a bit more, indication of his annoyance/suspicion/mistrust/wariness. ‘s what his squinting usually means, directed at me. Can’t blame him. “i…” Truth is, i don’t actually know what to tell him. ‘s just. i love him, and i know it sounds crass and misplaced blurted out like this, but as a consequence, i’m worried about him. A lot. Constantly. i hope bpd isn’t blurring my judgement too much. ‘m not sure he does take care of himself as well as he deserve. And look who’s talking, right ? But he is surrounded by loving friends and family. And has his brother. He could get help. Good help.

Damn my hesitance was making him unnerved. I could see it in how he turned to me, bone hands switching in and out of his pockets. I only hugged myself tighter, hands vaguely gesturing.

“i… Could i offer you to crash on my couch sometimes ? Or bed even, i don’t use mine a lot, actually. Since it’s, y’know, closer to a good part of your odd jobs than your house and Papyrus isn’t home then ?” Dang that was weirder out loud. i kept a blank face to show i was serious. i was- the guy looked even more tired than me. Tells something.

“uh. kid, you got something going in the back of your mind ?” Damn he took me too seriously. Squinting hard at me now, he was the perfect studied statue of calm judgement. Damn he was good at those.

“Well, safe from letting you get a good deserved rest more easily, not much !!” i made sure to answer jovially, doing the whole ‘punching the air round and low in excitement’ thing. We could be two playing the happy clown game.

i had found him at Grillby’s, like usual. his food was getting cold. like usual too. what was less usual was the tense manner he held himself when i came in, and how he “straightened” up, like he had forgotten himself, when i greeted him, pat on the shoulder. he would have flinched but he wouldn’t have wanted me onto him about it. so his eye socket had violently twitched -violently as in, noticeably, by his standards, and...uh lost myself again, fuck.

What i mean is that he was having a harsh day, probably after a harsher even night, his ptsd acting up (‘m not supposed to know ‘bout that. He himself doesn’t even know it. i just read. and relate), and i wanted to help him. now, maybe i had been presumptuous thinking i could…

So that’s why i insisted, vigorously,

“And uh-we can watch some trash movies and stuff, anytime, and like you can just stop by during your in-between shifts, even if i’m not home, i’ll give you a spare key and-” sudden stop. oh no. He gave me The Hand.

He indeed did, holding it up, like he wanted me to slow down. i did, obviously, but uh. did that mean i was overwhelming him, or annoying ? Was there a difference ?? Did it matter ???

Not now, because he was talking, and internal anxiety mini attack made me split focus, and i wanted full focus on what he said, on him.

“look kid,” i hate he calls me that “i appreciate whatchu tryin to do here” meh.liar. spill it. “but i can’t accept. paps would be upset if he knew i was squatting-”

“No he wouldn’t !! He would call it ‘GREAT FRIENDLY HANGOUTS OF REST’ and be very happy we uuh spend time together and stuff-”

“ok” glaring at me now, probably pissed i used his bro’s good nature to shot down his excuse. Heh. Two play at that game. “but here’s the thing.” he advanced himself up to me, nearly out of his seat. i held my ground. uh oh. “we a r e n’t f r i e n d s.”

Ouch. i mean i knew this but. Ouch. His eyes hadn’t blacked out on that last part, but nearly, too. Could be that his already hazy eyelights had just dimmed in exasperation but um. That didn’t feel any better. i gulped. Just a little. Just to keep down the new forming clog in my throat. Just a little one. i knew this.

“i know this !! but look, we could be, if we hanged out !” i didn’t dare say more. My eyes stung a lil bit too much for my liking and while never embarrassed by my tears, didn’t want to embarrass him.

‘s not like i was seriously hurt. i knew where we stood, and that my crush was going to stay that, a crush. what really stung was the utter lack of trust and the hatred-like suspicion he had of me. that and also feeling like i’m watching someone drown, but can’t help, because when i reach out they swat me away in fear i would be the one pushing them further. That’s probably more of my saviour complex dramatizing everything, but it’s bad to be helpless when you know someone, and you’re the only one to notice where they’re headed, because they’re great at pretending, but it’s like looking at yourself in a mirror for you. Get me ?

But. That’s fair. We hadn’t started well off. At all. Oh boy we hadn’t…

___

Seems like now would be a good time to make a small recap, uh ? ‘bout how i ended up knowing that dude, falling in love, analysing his mental shit and all that jazz. Yeah.

me, some lame girl who won’t eat for days and forgo sleep just because, who doesn’t shave but my actual hair, doesn’t do makeup, who doesn’t smile when I’m told to and who grins for no apparent reason whenever a new daydream pops up, because i’m kind of stuck in my own head because it’s better in here. because of… trauma crap. i get by by drawing and playing games where i can just save everyone.

i don’t know if you get what i mean. i sorta hope you don’t. Because it hurts. But at the same time it’d be awesome if you did, because y a y let’s relate about crap !

Don’t know if it matters, too.

Could help to get a few friends. But being  an asocial, asexual, kinda aromantic mess kinda throws that out of the window. You’d think so many A would get me higher in life eh heh heh heh heeeeeh… not funny. i’m not funny. My life is not funny. The way i react to it can be, though.

Like, that one time i was hanging out on my own, outside the bar i had first entered with classmates, as i tried to be less of a hermit, in a bar street and fled because i can't stand alcoholic jerks, and then saw this crowd of tough guys ejecting a small and stout person in a blue hoodie from said bar by fucking throwing a chair at them through the fucking window, and seeing that this little dude is a monster, and knowing they’re gonna get busted down to a puddle of dust by the mastodont looming over them if nobody intervenes ?

i reacted funny.

---

“Yoo-ou ffffffuking cunt, I-I’m gon’ mash you to the dirt yo motha shitted after getting fucked by yooour d-d-dog of a oold man-”

As he spits the words, an obviously very drunk dude stumbles closer and closer to the monster, his hands shaking like he wants to grip their head and smash it.

Freak it. This son of a bitch may be slurring like he drank the whole city, but he’s for sure all out to kill him ! Get up and run, little dude !

“c’mon man, “fucking cunt” , fun king or earl, it’s still a bit early to speak ‘bout mothers isn’t it?”

[i recognize him]

Pfft- what ? i snort loudly from my spot.

Okay, this is a gloriously  bad, stretched pun -but now is not the time for goodness’ sake ! Run, dude, run -wait, is that a skeleton ?!

[i recognize him]

Oh my fuck, how dumb is that dude, going out in a popular bar at what-the-heck-hours in this stupid city ! There were shootings and assassination attempts on the monster gym leader not even two blocks away yesterday ! And you just go in there with a face that screams “LOOK AT ME” ?! Are you stupid or do you just lack of basic preservation instincts ?!

The brute keeps advancing, spouting shit, a sort of gang backing him up, toward mc comicbonedude, a guy i assume, given the voice, but with monsters you never know, gender’s a myth but not them- who’s still on the ground, backtracking, crawling with a grin it didn’t drop the whole time, is it stuck or something and doesn’t look like getting up holy crap he can’t get up, the more hatred a monster is confronted with the hardest it hits he must be low on hp or something he’s gonna get killed

[i recognize him]

mc comicbonedude cracks another joke or is it his ribs cracking under the viscious kick he just got he’s thrown nearer the spot i’m chilling in. Another kick. Nearer. They can't see me, i’m well hidden in the shadows. Another kick.

This time, mc comicbonedude gags out a pun about sole-ution to the problem being-

FUCK OFF!! a gun is being drawn out.

Screw this i’m not witnessing a murder, fucking racists fucking xenophobics fucking city full of fucking shitheads there are other people around here why isn’t anyone but i don’t want to die either that's how it is, eli, always strive for yourself.

i get up fast and sprint to the monster, screaming about cops and a monster attack and insults, anything to spark a bit of panic, deck a scrawny fucker the one who.was.going.to.shoot.him. and aim for the skeleton, who yells.

[i recognize him]

i grab him by the hood and run in some narrower streets, hearing yells after me, and the anxiety is building up a little too much for my usual adrenaline numbing spell to work-

i trip on some trash and my own feet -same difference, fall over, roll, get up that’s how you do it eli, hit and roll, but back on your feet. And keep running, holding the monster close to my chest he’s warm that means he’s still alive and ok, right, left, dodge the you whore you bitch get back here you bitch and the bullets yup i’m good at thiiiiiiis- a bullet still grazes my ankle, I stumble, nearly faceplant, and it hurts but like a sting and I’m still alive. The adrenaline keeps pumping and i feel so light, i sprint into a shabby alley, panting like a dog, i think i’m crying, and drool is mixing with it. i can feel the headache coming, and mc comicbonedude is heavy enough to slip in my arms why won’t he move ? Is he dead ? Is he in shock ?

[i recognize him]

i run to a staircase, you know, the rusty and slippery metal kind outside buildings for fire escape ? Exactly what i need, as the assholes keep firing at me, huh. I climb, to the top, jump to the next building am i really doing this as me for real and run. i don’t know if they’re still after us, my ears won’t stop ringing, and i can’t tell it apart from sirens. I’m on a four stories building running to save a skeleton who

who starts emitting blue and yellow light and what the hell is happening why am i floating holy fuck i’m two inches away to be totally out of not-looking-near-enough-at-all- concrete to fall on.

[i recognize him]

[*focus insufficient]

[*procedure fails]

He’s silent. Sprawled two meters away from where I’m hanging

h-how did i

Looking exhausted and furious, like a cornered dog who has already taken on a tiger in the past, and from his left pupil there’s a cyan blue and yellow flame ? crackling, or bubbling ? or is it just flashing. can’t tell eyes too blurry. and dark blue is surrounding me at my sternum is that monster magic it’s beautiful, did i get headshot i can’t thing straight no. i can’t breath. It’s holding me in place. i can’t breath properly. i try to call out for him, he’s just overreacting in an understandable alarm but

please don’t crunchy crush the goofy girl on the cracking hard ground but when I try, I look at his eyes. One is glowing a fiery but disturbed cyan and yellow, with shards of red here and there, and the other is blank dead. Black. i’m terrified. He pants and that’s the only sound for a while. He’s alive. Good. Am i going to still be alive after this ?

“DON’T DROP ME DON’T WANNA DIE DON’T KILL ME OKAY IT'S THE LAST TIME I’M HELPING OUT ANYONE I PROMISE I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. DUDE PLEASE.”

“wha- ghh- !” He flinches like waking up. He lets go- lets go of meeee-

“AAAAAAAAAH NO !” He gasps and grasps again. i only slipped a meter into nothingness “Oh please please please i really don’t wanna die, and not falling, it looks like suicide i don’t do that i managed not to so don’t spoil it all ok i-”

“what- kid no stop r-”

“SO SORRY DON’T KILL ME DON’T-”

“ kiiiid please” he’s clutching at his skull now.

“PLEASE D-”

“shut. up”

Ok. Not talking.

Whimpering and sobbing a bit, but he better take this because i’m having an anxiety attack and it will escalate into a hyperventilation fit if he doesn't lower me on the ground and I can't calm down.

“Please don’t kill me.” blurts out anyway of my gritted teeth.

A white light bulb alights in his empty eyes socket, and the glow in the other dims. Could he not see me before ? Hey, is that a crack across his skull ? Augh that looks like it s t i n g s.

“ H-hey, there. You- ah, fffuck this hurts. You okay ?” i try.

Nothing. He stares at me, as if watching out for something. I can feel the power around me wavering. He needs to come to his senses before I go kiss the dirt.

“P-please don’t leave me hanging.” He snorts, but keeps scrutinizing me, shaking. ‘s like he’s half understanding the pun, half not there. Silent.

“Woah, that was bad, even for me; guess i’m just that high.” i attempt a feeble finger gun.

He holds back a laugh “pffft- what the hell, kid- oh fuck.” He starts, realizing what i’m hinting at. He drags me back to the ground. i still can't move, but breathing is easier. i whimper again -heck i’m surprised i didn't piss myself- and draw out a looong sigh.

Now we stare at each other awkwardly is not strong enough to cut it. And i observe, that i m may be sweaty, tired and teary, but he looks bad.

His skull is definitely cracked across his left eye, he won’t stop shaking, sweats profusely and seems to have troubles breathing so monsters skeletons breathe and pant. Ok. Do they cry too ? Cuz that weird red stuff oozing from his damaged eye doesn’t look like tears but that can’t be blood… right ?

He looks horrible, if only physically. But the way his eyes sway, with this grin I can’t find the reason for, it worries me more. Is he ... having an episode, or something ? i mean he could be and be totally inoffensive, but ? Was he the one attacking first back at the bar ? is he really having an episode of some sort ? i’m not too nice when i’m having an episode either.

Should i cry for help ? i can't budge from his grasp.

And i know i shouldn’t but i’m feeling an attack coming up- the restraint is triggering my ptsd ridden ass…..

Let me go y-you there c’mon i can’t take this not my shit nuh uh lemme go lemme go lemme go

“ lemme go…” woah not pathetic at all. “Let me go.” no reaction, try again “LET M-” i can’t move my mouth.

The pressure fucktupled, and it’s like my lungs and my muscles are being crushed.

“ok buddy, pal, chum, whoever you are, what the fuck ?”

i can’t answer you, you dumbfuck you just muted me

“i mean, nice save and all. thanks i guess. but who the heck and what on earth are you up to ?” both of his eyes went black oh my god what did i do to your highness Hecate like seriously now how did i end in such a mess.

“H-how about we both calm down first, and talk next ?” i seem to break through the mute. ok good, deep breaths, count backward from ninety to zero, relax, we’re both freaking out, he’s as spooked as you-which is funny cuz he’s the skeleton- focus on breathing.

Still no answer. “Look, i, i get it, bad freak out, i interrupted you back there, i get you’re fucked up-” nothing but his eyes narrowing “ but i’m cool. Swear i am. i’m cold and m’name is uidelsib. you can call me sib ! Cool enough ?”

i extend my hand, ready to give him a strong good ole handshake, but he doesn’t take up on it.

Instead he stays frozen, “Not cool, dude,” hand still extended, but lowered, as if he could grab me again “ r e a l l y not cool,” i insist, and his bones are, he’s. shaking ? Yeah. Shivering violently, like he’s super cold too, which is pretty normal given he’s what. Up with me on a high building, one, two hundred meters in the sky, exposed to the icy wind ? Figures.

His bones are making this clattering clickety sound, stresses me out damn. He’s studying me. But it’s also like he can’t focus. Shivering too much. Shock, probably. His eye socket’s still oozing that red shit. Not thick enough to be blood, and too scarletish, but what do i know ‘bout monsters.

[oh, what do i don’t]

He takes a step toward me.

“ not fucking cool, not in the least-” i let out, jaw still clenched.

His bones rattles one last time, on the cement ground. His knees buckled under him the next moment he moved. His arms couldn’t support him.

i approach him, concerned. Once the pursuit’s adrenaline and the near death experience done with, my mind is settling, and i can think more clearly. He, on the other hand…

He stirs as i come closer. Tries to growl something i can’t decipher, but it comes out as a whimper, pained. My heart constricts in my ribs. Fuck, i hadn’t meant shit to go down like that. i seem to have a talent to fuck up, but i only wanted to help.

i tell him that. He grunts, doesn’t acknowledges me further, and quivers as he tries to stand up. He can’t though. I see it from where i am, he shakes enough to make a dr.pepper bursts.

i snort at the image, a skeleton shaking a bottle fixed on his spine, then flies away with the pressure- w o w i’m gone far. Need a bed. Asap. Concentrate on the situation at hand.

He, though, doesn’t react well to my laughter. He immediately stiffens, and

goes slack. Unmoving on the ground. He fainted ? i go on a hunch and inch closer, on the tip of my toes, hunched over myself, because i can’t tell if he’s dead or if i’m going to be.

[i recogni-- --- [REDACTED]]

i shake my head furiously. i can’t let those thoughts take my attention away from what’s taking place here and now.

i’m close enough now. something like a meter away, i can see him still shivering, and hear him rasp some breaths out. So he can breathe-

[i knew tha- [REDACTED]]

Not Now. i need to focus, i got a seemingly dying monster mere steps away from me.

i crouch down, slowly. My leg muscles burn enough i’m trembling too and i’m pretty sure my teeth are chattering, the noise mingling with his bones against the asphalt.

He’s still face down, arms limp on his sides, and i spy his eyelights peeking at me, way less sharp than when he had me pinned in the air just. one minute ago ?

i creep closer, he tenses, i stop.

“You’re ok.” i whisper. “We’re ok and we’re leaving.” i try to keep my voice from wavering but meh. ‘s not like there’s much face to save, for both of us.

i reach my hand toward him. He doesn’t move. i put it on his back, barely pressing, he tenses. And then disappears with a ping.

[ (*did you think i was going to stay here and t--- -- -) [REDACTED]]

NOT NOW I SAID. GE E. WHERE DID HE Go ?

He’s back right where he was. He basically just blinked in and out of existence. And he’s looking even more exhausted, if that’s possible, sweating bullets and heaving noisily, before he quiets himself. He’s also glaring at me, but meekly, and i’m not too scared anymore to be honest. He looks more frustrated than anything, although i can guess he’s actually scared to death. HAH.

“Hey you’re ok, i said, i just. Need to get us somewhere safe. Yeah. Not here.” i croak out. i’m starting to feel the freezing wind more, too. i can’t afford to stall and give him time to think. i can still hear the sirens. They’re looking for someone. And i don’t want the police on my back, even if i didn’t do anything reprehensible in the end.

So i slide my hands under him, still making sure i don’t touch any possible sensitive areas, and decide to go for the armpits, and hey i might get a tickle out of him ! ...ahah no. As i try to heave him up on his… surprisingly tiny feet ? did he lose his shoes or. Whatever. He just stays as silent as he is limp. And boy is he limp as a rock. Not quite as heavy though, good.

“You’re lighter than you look-” might as well try to make some conversation “and uh, can you walk ?” Or at least i can try to fill the heavy silence. Let’s just forget the “tried to kill you” thing. We’re both in deep crap anyway, and i can understand having baggage.

He really won’t walk though. He barely makes a sound too. If i hadn’t heard him sooner i’d think he can’t talk or something. i barely get a grunt out of him as i put him on my hip, which isn’t hard given he’s like. Half my size. Fun sized boney menace.

And i begin to trudge down the stairs- not the ones i came from, i don’t want to get caught if the cops are back there and it’s too far anyways. i want a bed. Now. A lone pillow would do.

He doesn’t seem much different, dangling on my side barely sparing me a glare as i look down at him, checking if he’s not dusting yet. He stopped “bleeding” at least. He still got that nasty huge scar.

i can feel him staring when i’m not looking. He’s still wary. Probably only lets me pull this only because he can’t not. Heh, at least he doesn’t seem to mind that i’m carrying him like you’d do a toddler. i just, need my other arm to grip and grab at the staircase bars when i slip.

Nah he looks more disgusted to be touching me than anything. Everytimes we get into more contact, because i’m bumping a wall or stumbling on my own feet again, i can distinctly feel him shudder, and try to get away. It’s just a little distracting, and unbalancing, and a lil tidbit hurtful. But i can’t blame him. i’d be throwing a fucking fuss and dishing fists if our places switched.

At least it’s relatively calm. We didn’t meet anyone, maybe a few rats rummaging garbage, and some monsters hurrying home, Whimsuns i think ? No one that paid us any mind at least.

So we’re still walking slowly when rain hits us hard, and nearly sends me on my ass. Doesn’t help the shivering, but now it’ll clean the streets out for sure. It’s something past midnight, i don’t wanna find anyone out at this hour.

But i’d kinda appreciate finding my way to somewhere because

“Aaaaaaaaaaa a h ahhh i got no idea the fuck i’m g-going…” Ah fuck. i said that out loud. And now my passenger's giving me his best ‘are u fuckin kiddin me’ stare. He’s. Very unamused.

“L-look, this isn’t, this isn’t my part of the city, okay?? i’m- i’m tryin’ to g-get us to the monster neighbourhoods, but i don’t know the fuck where it is, alright ?!” My tone escalates with my pitch, and i nearly slip again as he flinches away from me. Damn it, not helping eli, still in an episode or something. Don’t yell.

“Y-y-yeeah okay, look. ‘m sorry i cried but i’m in shock and still lost, kay? S-so maybe help or som’thin’ ?” Indications would help yeah. And now he’s listening, he’s also less shaky and putting his weight on me in a way that hinders our progression less. Good.

He nods. Good.

“Good. Gooood good good good.” i’m on autopilot now, following the skeleton’s grunted directions. i take a few wrong turns every now and then, but what can you do with nonverbal advice, and we end up in a part of the city i recognize, because i’ve seen it on tv and wanted to come look around anyway.

The gym stadium. A big building, at least big for a monster building, given the prices get surprisingly higher when they’re buying, stylized like a Japanese dojo, with anime advertisement posters (whether for the dojo or the animes i got no ideas) on the walls and- oh my gosh are those- fish, dolphin, shark and starfish stickers on the windows.

“Perfect !” i half yell, significantly lighting up. Mc comicbonedude looks at me like i’ve grown a second head, and i give him a big manic smile, obviously stressed out. My right eye might be twitching a little too. Does that when i’m under pressure. He decides to go back to slumping against me and questioning his life choices, and i take that as an ‘okay GO’ to proceed with my genius only just made up plan.

i march up quickly, -i want this DONE WITH. NEXT TIME i GO ON AN IMPROMPTU RESCUE MISSION I’M TAKING MY LEAD UMBRELLA AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHING- to the tall doors, who thanks fucking gods are under a porch, that saves us from being drenched anymore, and pound it with all i got.

“OI BLUE WATER GAL ! OPEN UP!!! I KNOW YOU’RE STILL WORKING, YOU ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT NOT SLEEPING AND PROVIDING A 19/24H SERVICE ON TV!!! OPEN UUUPP!! B I T C H! OPEN!!UP!!”

Skeleton is googly eyeing me like the second head i’ve definitely grown started reciting the ten commandments to belzebuth themselves,

[and he’s not too far off]

but i don’t care my dude i am d o n e. If i get welcomed with a fist to the face i don’t give a diggly doogly dang fuck so long i can get inside and lay down. Even on the cold ass tile floor. i’m don-

“OI PUNK, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT RUCKUS ?? YOU TRYING TO PICK A DUEL WITH ME ? CUT IT OUT UNLESS YOU WANT A POUNDING COMPETITION FUFUFUFUFUFUH~ I’M OFFERING THOUGH !”

Ah, right, i’m still hitting that door. Ouch, that’s gonna swell. Oh welp.

But the voice came from...up?

i step backward some, under the rain, ugh, and look up to see, yup, a noodly armed blue fish person with bright scarlet red hair pulled up in a bun, all sweaty, a poor guy in a chokehold, peeking out of the second floor window, taking in the pouring rain with gusto. A gigantic lightning bolt, quickly followed by loud ass thunder, comes to compliment her boisterous apparition, and she grins- smirks? wide locking her single eye on me, the lighting making her golden teeth flash.

She comes down to greet my miserable form fast, not taking the stairs, but jumping out of the window (much more graciously than mc comicbonedude previously), having let go of her victim- sparring partner previously, good gods, and lands at my feet like nobody’s business, to then bolt up, eager to see the intruder to her night sessions.

And Undyne, former Captain of the Royal Guard of Monsterkind Underground, all steel like blue scales, glinting golden slitted eye and sharp mouth, now renowned Master of Fights in her stadium, among monsters and humans even more, already black belt of more martial arts than i know of, and fresh survivor of one of the biggest terrorist hits on monsters yet, is staring me down, from her easy two meters height, like i’m her next meal.

i gulp. i’m so fucked.

i’m so fucked and not just for the fact that i am royally gay and all, but also cuz…

[i recognize her]

[she was so hard to f---- [REDACTED]]

[couldn’t figure out that all we had to do was to run and then ---- -- ------- [REDACTED]]

“Uh ?” Her gaze has finally caught on my now bundled up passenger, who’s shivering in cold rather than fear, on my hip, who only lazily grins a

“sup”

“YO SANS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS WIMPY HUMAN AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT ?? AND Y’ALL ARE SOAKED !! GET INSIDE, NERDS !!!”

[i know him]

i follow hollowly the orders and get inside, feel a weight leave my side-kinda miss that already, to then feel a big fluffy towel drape over me. Then i sit down. In the hall on the ground, probably. Wooden floor is in my direct line vision. Uh. Thing is well taken care of, all waxed and clear, who would have guessed.

[i know them both. very well actually]

[Chara would be nervously giggling if they were here]

[wonder what they’re up to]

[and Frisk too, obviously]

[what about Flowey though. no idea what the lil shit is up to in pacifist endings]

i’m so f UCK E D.

---

Aaaand that’s how i ended up rocking back and forth in Undyne’s dojo’s main hall for half of the night, muttering about video games and fucking witchcraft gone wrong again and shit fuck damnit, i guess it was denial all along those last two, six months ? And oOH WELP, guess i did cradle like a toddler my fictional crush for the last, what, half hour ? Whoopsies.

Hhhhhhhh

fuck that ink witch status, that was not planned.

___

When i finish my flashback, and it’s been something like six months again since, got to “meet” his super cool great bro, not on his account though, Undyne just had to introduce Papsy to the dweeb that “saved his big brother” and also Asgore, Toriel, for a quick ‘thanks you’, even a small interview with Mettaton, that made a hit on the Undernet, and mingled a bit with monsters- i’m friend with Chesty Brun now (Burgerpants), and Alphys, because we’re following the same mangas-

he’s already gone, burger nearly untouched, ketchup covered fries half eaten and drink finished, and i’m tempted to ask Grillby, who is hovering close behind his bar, fretting a little, in front of my frozen form, if “you’re gon throw that out ? sure i can’t finish ?”  Because it’d be a real shame to let all that delicious grub go to waste. But that’d be creepy as fuck, even moreso taking my feelings for the small dude, and his against me, so i don’t, and he’ll probably feed it to his pet lava rock anyway, so i stop hugging myself and rocking back and forth and go back to my seat, waving him off with a sorry smile, and go back to sullenly sipping my vanilla milkshake.

Can’t blame Sans.

He’s cautious. Understandable.

i know what he’s had to put up with.

[and so do all of you]

[dirty brother killers ?]

[i hope not]

[i really wonder how’s Chara doing…]

AAAAAAAaaaaaaah how do i turn this shit off ?? Let me pretend i’m normal in a normal situation stupid brain thing !!

...ah. screw it. this magic milkshake is fabulous. That’s totally what i’m crying about.

“Don’t worry Grillby.”

_______________

ye don’t worry my dudes. can i call y’all that ? ‘s gender neutral. ‘m a demi girl, and you can call me “my dude”, my dudes. wow what a bull of crap i pulled here, sorry trans girls and enbies

this isn’t beta read cuz i’m on my own and english isn’t my native language, i’m french, so plz forgive mistakes.

i had some drafts lying around my google docs for a year now, mostly about bugging and kissing snas, put them together and thought i’d do an actual Thing with it all. this isn’t good, i know it.

lest to say i have no idea what i’m doing !

and don’t know when this’ll update, it it does. i had the motivation to finish this cuz there was no clients at the restaurant i worked at back in july. blah blah blebs blah. 

[scintillating-galaxias]

Opposites, Chapter 2

im not sure if i should tag this too? since the first part has everything tagged?… maybe its fine idk but anyways!! chapter two of my grimmons fic, i hope you guys enjoy!!

(read it here on ao3)

1 / 2

A few days pass. Simmons is being weird again. He glances to Grif more often than not when he’s talking, says certain words with more emphasis, and again with the physical contact! He swears he’s been touched on the shoulder, or his back, or his arm more this past week than his entire lifetime. He thought Simmons wasn’t a huge fan of the whole touching thing!

He glances slyly at Simmons, who’s reassembling a rifle. His tongue peeks out from between his lips like it always does when he’s focused. When was the last time the guy has a hug? Not a ‘thank God you’re alive’ embrace of pure fear and desperation, just a simple, totally platonic, hug?

When was the last time Grif had had one?

The first one that comes to mind is Kai holding onto him as tight as her small arms could when he was leaving. But that was over a decade ago. It couldn’t have been that long since then. Could it? No. Maybe? No, no, that couldn’t be right, he knows that’s not right—

“Penny for your thoughts?” Simmons’ voice breaks him out of his musings.

“Make it a dollar and you have a deal.” Simmons rolls his eyes and fishes out a piece of chewing gum from somewhere in his armor.

“A piece of really old gum for your thoughts?” he rephrases in a monotone. Grif takes the gum and unwraps it thoughtfully.

“Not much. Just thinkin’ about Kai.” Grif pops the gum in his mouth and tilts his head a little. “We should go get her soon. No, scratch that, we are gonna go get her soon. And then we’re going right the fuck home. No more of this totally bullshit war, or wars, or whatever the hell is going on anymore.”

Simmons is quiet for a moment. “Is that—” he coughs and clears throat. He tries again. “That’s what you really want?”

“Hell yeah! Why the fuck wouldn’t I want to go home? That’s way better than what we’ve been doing, which is basically travel through a void for a bit, find some big rock with issues, move on after we fix said issue, find a cooler, bigger rock with more problems. Except for this time, it has snow! Wow! Oh, and we might die again. Whoop-dee-fuckin’-do.”

The conversation lulls a bit. Grif carefully retightens a screw in his own gun. Not too tight, the firing mechanisms might go wrong, not too loose, the recoil might be off in the field. At least, that’s what he thinks it is. He really doesn’t pay attention to these things. If it works, it works, and if it blows up in his face, well, he’s wearing armor that probably costs enough to bring a small country out of debt. It should work out fine.

“Just you guys?”

“What?”

“Never mind,” Simmons says quickly. He turns back to his gun. Grif looks at him for a moment longer before he shrugs and goes back to putting his own weapon together.

During lunch, Tucker approaches him. He sits down across from him and stares until Grif looks up. He has his hands laced and he leans forward on the table like some business man trying to make a deal. Grif cocks an eyebrow. Tucker clears his throat.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” he tells Grif.

“Hello to you too, asshole.”

“Dude! Just fucking— It’s not hard to figure out!” Tucker throws arms up, then drags a hand through his hair in exasperation. “Christ, it’s embarrassing watching you two moon over each other! Like, holy hell, you aren’t high school teenagers! You could get shot tomorrow, and then we have to deal with Simmons crying over your dumb ass! Get your shit together!”

“Yeah well, maybe,” Grif says irritatedly, “you wouldn’t be so 'embarrassed’ about us if you guys fucked off and let us deal with it ourselves.” And he goes back to ignoring him. Man, these hash browns were just outstanding today. They actually had a little flavor to them.

“You aren’t going deal with it though! You’re just gonna keep walking away like you do with everything else!”

“What do you think of the broccoli today? I personally think a little more butter could have been used. It’s a little dry.”

“Oh my God,” Tucker groans, dragging out each word. He abruptly stands up and leaves, apparently too done with Grif to survive this conversation.

Good. He needed a nap anyway.

In the safety of his room, he thinks. He ponders and wonders and dwells on every little thing that’s happened lately.

First, his own depressive thought session that was basically just him pining. Which was just pathetic. He didn’t want to think about that.

Second, there was Simmons getting all touchy and smiley and making Grif feel warm all the time. Stupid Simmons being cute. Fuck that guy.

Then it was the Doorway Incident he’s shoved into the dark corner of his brain. Then there were those godforsaken notes that he should really take care of soon. One thing Tucker had said stuck with him; he might not have tomorrow to do this. He didn’t have the luxury to have all the time in the world to wait until the perfect moment like some people did.

Grif props his head up on one hand. The other toys with the drawstring of his sweatpants. Listen to Caboose and opposites were his hints. Opposites and spies? Clothes? Spy clothes, no, codes. Opposites and codes.

Grif gasps and nearly falls out of his bed in his haste to turn the light on. He trips ungracefully over a stray gauntlet, but he still reaches the wall and slaps it until he manages to find the switch.

He pats himself down before lunging for his armor. Fuck, where did they go! What was he wearing last? His hoodie? Grif leans down and swipes it up, rips the notes out of the front pocket, and throws himself at his desk.

“No way,” he mutters. “There’s just— No.”

You were. You were and… I am? That’s the first thing Grif can think of, so he reaches over to his datapad and writes it down. Were 'were’ and 'am’ opposites? Well, if they weren’t, they were for the time being.

Grif shakes his head. He knows how he works. He just had to get it out, then he could go and fix it later. Not like Simmons, who edited as he went along. No, now wasn’t the time to think about Simmons. Except, technically, he was right now just by dealing with these notes. If he was indirectly thinking about Simmons, would it count?

He furiously shakes his head again. “Focus,” he mutters. He thumbs the pen imprint on the back of one of the notes.

You were hopefully out hate without i.

“I am… Hopelessly? Hopeless? That’s dark, Simmons,” Grif muses. “Okay, Grif. Start talking.” He sighs. Stupid brain going off on unimportant topics. Grif clears his throat and taps the papers into a straight line.

“So,” he begins. “'I am hopelessly, in… Love? Love. With. You.’ Okay.” He picks up his datapad and writes it down. Well. He’s got the first part figured out. He could go ahead and change—

Grif’s thoughts catch up with his eyes. His brain screeches to a halt. Then it trips and falls down the stairs, where it lays there staring at a cloudless sky in shock. The low roar of blood rushing to his ears fills the silence.

He reads the words again. And again. And a third time.

“No way.” Grif leans back in his chair and runs his hands through his hair. “I— I got something wrong, didn’t I? It’s probably— no.” He makes a weird noise that could count as a giggle, but it’s so strained it sounds hysterical. “Haha! Real funny, Simmons! Good one!” he calls out. “You— You got me, you can stop… Hiding…”

Simmons does not materialize from the walls, or burst out of his tiny closet, or appear in the doorway, roaring with laughter and clutching his stomach.

Grif reads the words again.

“What. What?!” He stands up. Paces around the room. Falls back onto his bed. Gets up, reads the sentence again.

The universe hasn’t exactly been kind to him in the past. What made it change its mind now? He has to be dreaming. He’s had scary realistic dreams before. This wouldn’t be anything new. Grif pinches himself on the wrist, hard. Nothing happens except now his wrist stings a bit. He tries his ribs and his cheeks too, but there is still no sudden reveal of a dark closet or the inside of his helmet.

Grif makes a very embarrassing, very high-pitched sound. His face splits into a wide smile that reduces his vision to slits.

“'I am hopelessly in love with you.’ Oh, my God. Oh. My. God!” The feeling in his chest is too much for him, so he stands up, walks in quick, tight circles for a moment. He barely registers his steps because he swears he’s floating, drifting just above the clouds like he does in a dream.

There is an odd feeling he’s forgetting to do something. Nothing with the notes themselves. Simmons. He had to find Simmons.

Grif stands up and charges out of his room so fast he skids into the opposite wall. There, he takes a moment to collect himself.

What does he even say?  'I’m in love with you too’? No, that’s stupid. Maybe go a little slower, maybe hug him, or kiss his face, or something. No, what if Simmons wanted to go even slower than that? Could Grif hold his hand while watching a movie? That’s so cliché and corny, Simmons would love it, but what if he didn’t? Fuck! He doesn’t know what to do besides panic!

Before he sends himself into a downward spiral, he pushes off of the wall and bursts into Simmons’ room. Simmons himself is sitting on the edge of on his bed, capping and uncapping his calligraphy pen. He stands up quickly as Grif braces himself against the doorway

“What’s wro—”

“Did you mean it?” Simmons blinks.

“What do you mean?”

“The notes, are they real? Did you mean it, Simmons?” He hates the vulnerability is his voice, but he has to make sure, he has to be positive this wasn’t a sick, cruel joke. “Do you actually…?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do, dumbass!” Grif’s mind goes blank for a second. His lips move on their own accord.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes?” He doesn’t look as embarrassed as Grif initially thought he would be.

“You’re serious.” Grif can feel the grin coming back. Something in his chest swells.

“Yes, Grif, oh my God!” And there it is, that red flush on his cheeks. It makes his freckles stand out more, his green eye just a little bit brighter. It’s a nice look on him in Grif’s professional opinion.

“Ho-ly shit.” Grif crosses the room in quick, short strides, and holds Simmons’ face in his hands. The pen drops to the floor. “You’re real. This is—” Grif breaks off in nervous laughter. The butterflies in his stomach feel more like a school of fish by the way it flips when Simmons smiles. It’s a little squashed by the way Grif is cupping his cheeks, but it’s a nice smile nonetheless. “Wow.”

For a moment, they just stare at each other in a mix of awe and shock. Simmons suddenly starts chuckling. His head falls onto Grif’s shoulder and wraps his long arms around his torso. “You’re really fucking thick headed sometimes, you know that?”

“Excuse me, sometimes? You should know me better by now. It’s all or nothing.” Grif’s brows furrow. “Hey, that reminds me, why did you go straight for… You know.” The words get stuck, even though he doesn’t reason for them to be anymore. “I— I’m in love with you? And not like, 'Hey, wanna go out?’ Not that I’m complaining, but still.” It felt so strange but so natural to say it out loud. To Simmons. Not a mirror, or a rock, or his hand. To Simmons.

“I— Hmm.” Simmons’ mouth twists in thought. Grif waits impatiently, but he can’t push anything right now, so he stays quiet. “I think… I was scared we wouldn’t have time for that stuff.”

“Dude, we spend so much time just sitting here. It’s always the Blues getting into shit.”

“Shut up, Grif, I’m trying to get this right.” He takes Grif’s hand in his robotic one, idly rubbing his thumb on Grif’s palm. “Anyways. We're— We’re always getting shot at, getting injured, and I was terrified that something would happen to you before I got the chance to say anything. One of us could die tomorrow and I didn’t want to live with that. Or die with that, I don’t know.

And it’s been about six years since I felt— Felt… Fuck it, liked you, and that’s a lot of time to have a 'crush’ on someone and I decided that it wasn’t the correct term anymore. And then more time passed, and uh. I realized about two years ago that I didn’t 'like’ you anymore. Not like that, I like you! A lot! I just. Yeah,” he finishes lamely. He bites his lip a bit as he looks apprehensively at Grif.

Grif knows his mouth has fallen open again. It takes him a few tries to get his words out. “I… I didn’t know you, um. You know.”

“Yeah, I know you didn’t know.”

Grif rolls his eyes. “Dude, you’re still really fucking cheesy for passing on that cornball message through cryptic notes.”

“Oh, like you could do any better!” Simmons drops his hand and pushes at him, but there’s no real force behind it. “You just keep referring to this as 'that’!”

“Is that a challenge?” Grifs grin gets bigger. “Hey. Hey, Simmons. Guess what.”

Simmons sighs. “What?”

“I love you.” Simmons instantly turn bright red and starts babbling nonsense. Grif takes that as a sign to keep going. “In fact, I am super in love with you. You—”

“Grif!” Simmons groans and he keeps slapping his hands at Grif’s chest, but that pleased smile betrays him. “Grif, stop it, oh my God—”

“You are my anchor to this wretched life. My cinnamon bun. My starlight on the darkest nights.”

Simmons seems torn between laughing and being annoyed. He ends up making a weird beeping sound that Grif will have to make fun of later because watching Simmons get all flustered was way more entertaining. “And since I love you so much—”

“Whatever you’re about to say, I don’t want to hear it!”

Grif holds him at arm’s length and puts on his best puppy face, with a pouty lip and everything. “Aw, but Simmons, my dearest, I was going to ask if you wanted to see a movie later! But I’ll have to find something else now.” He puts a wrist to his forehead. “Tragedy! My hard work and great efforts for the love of my life, ruined by the very same person! Oh, the irony!”

Simmons eyes him suspiciously. Then his brow shoots up to his hairline. “You were being serious?”

Grif drops his wrist back to his side. “Nah, not really. I don’t even know if this place even has a decent sized wall to project something on.”

“Oh,” Simmons says quietly. His shoulders slump a bit.

Grif frowns. “Wait, about the movie thing or the other thing, or the other other thing?”

“Er… All of them?” Simmons says uncertainly.

“Oh.” Oh. “Yeah, I’m, um, down for. That. I guess. I mean, sure, yeah, let’s do that. The movie. With just us.” There’s a pregnant pause. “And the other thing, yeah, kind of serious about that too.”

Simmons looks like he’s trying not to look too amused, but the relief is evident. “And that whole 'super in love’ spiel?”

“That too.”

That’s when Simmons leans down and kisses him. Not so hard it makes him dizzy, or so soft he’s chasing for more. It’s more careful if anything. As if to say, is this okay? And it’s so much more than just 'okay’, Grif can’t think of a word for it. A lump sticks in his throat, stealing away his next breath. He gasps lightly, and Simmons breaks away.

“So,” Simmons says slowly. His smile turns sheepish. “Uh. Sorry. I just— Yeah.”

“You should do that again,” Grif says quietly. They just stand there for a moment, waiting for the other to make the first move. Within a few seconds, Simmons huffs and pulls him in again.

There’s more confident this time, but a better-suited word would be clumsy. Their noses bump, neither of them knows how to shape their mouth, or where to put their lips. Their teeth graze each other enough to make Simmons hum, and Grif doesn’t know where to put his hands, so he just drops them to Simmons’ waist.

He never would trade it for anything else.

All rational thoughts are wiped away when Simmons’ hands move to the back of Grif’s neck, fingers idly wrapping themselves around stray strands of hair. He feels Simmons tilt his head a little bit, fitting their lips together better. He makes a pleased noise, and Simmons smiles against his mouth. His neck hurts a little from craning his head up, but Simmons was now pressing his lips all over Grif’s face, on his nose, just between his eyes, the corner of his mouth, on his mouth, again, and again, and again, so he can ignore it.

It fills his body with so many emotions at once because this, this right here is all he’s wanted. To be sure of something for once in his life, and to know he can have this. He can have Simmons here with him, and he can hold him when he’s upset instead of awkward shoulder patting, he can laugh for hours with him and finally look up at him with a smile without it becoming weird, he can kiss him to mess with him instead of making backhanded comments.

Certainty. That’s the thing he was missing this whole time.

“Y'know,” Simmons murmurs against his cheek. “I don’t see your hair down that much.”

Grif jerks back and sputters an incredulous laugh. “Really? We just started figuring out, like, half a lifetime’s worth of emotional constipation, and you’re thinking about my hair?”

“It’s nice!” Simmons says defensively. He finally steps away from Grif, arms crossed. Grif pretends to not notice how much that bothers him. “It’s… Nice. Also, please don’t talk about constipation when we’re making out.”

“'It’s nice.’ Thanks.” Grif rolls his eyes and goes to pull out the tie. His scalp was starting ache a bit anyway. Simmons’ fingers twitch slightly as he shakes it out and pushes it back from his face. Grif makes a quiet note of that for… Later.

Simmons lets out a heavy breath. “We’re still going to have to figure this… This,” he gestures vaguely, “out eventually.”

“Ugh. Do we have to?” Grif whines. “I think it’s fine right now. We can— We can come back to that later. You know what we’re going to have to do now? Take a kick-ass nap. Or make out more, can we do that?”

“I didn’t say now, dipshit. It’s just that years of experience plus Doc and Donut has told me that poor communication isn’t healthy.”

“Healthy,” Grif repeats. “Yeah, 'cause we’re just the best at being healthy.” They keep flat faces for a beat before they burst out laughing. Grif doubles over, barely registering Simmons using him as a support. He can hear the rare, tiny snorts that he knows Simmons hates, but right now it’s the most precious sound in the world.

“We are so shit at this,” Simmons manages before breaking down again. Grif wheezes in response.

“At least we’re consistent!” It takes another minute for them to calm down. Grif wipes a tear from his eye. “No, but seriously—” He breaks out into another fit of giggles. “Fuck, we’re gonna go and do the nap thing now. No,” Grif presses a finger to Simmons’ lips when he starts to protest. “They overwork us anyways. We can take breaks.”

“They don’t overwork you,” Simmons mumbles around his finger. “And I still have forms—”

“That other people can fill out themselves.” Grif grabs both of Simmons’ hands and tugs him towards his bed. He goes with barely any resistance, and they curl up on top of the covers. So much for needing to work.

It takes a few minutes of repositioning and a lot of repetition of the phrase, 'Move, jackass,’ but they manage. Simmons ends up with his chin resting on top of Grif’s head. His arm loops over Grif’s back to mess with the back of his hair again. He’s tucked against Simmons’ chest. There, he can hear the whirrs and clicks of all of the complicated parts that make him up. It’s strangely comforting.

Exhaustion hits him all at once. He hadn’t realized how late it was when he came in here. He inhales deeply into Simmons’ shirt. It still smells like vanilla for somehow. The scent reminds Grif of something, but he can’t remember what.

Simmons sighs, breath hot against his head. Giddiness pulses through Grif’s body again. In the span of Thank you.“

"For what?”

“For— You know what, forget it. I want to sleep.” Grif shrugs and scoots a bit closer.

“I’ll take that action.” Grif can feel Simmons chuckles bubble from his chest to his throat. He’s washed over again with sheer joy, and he shivers a bit. Simmons apparently takes this as him being cold because he pulls him into his chest a little more.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Something itches in the back of Grif’s mind.

“Guess you were right,” he murmurs.

“Wha’? 'bout wha’?” Simmons answers sleepily.

“Opposites do attract.”

Simmons makes a confused noise.“What’re you even sayin’?”

“Nothin’.” A minute of silence passes. “G'night, Simmons.”

“Goodnigh’, Grif.”

[alicedoessurveys]

165 Questions

(this took a couple days to complete so I don't know if the answers will even make sense haha)

did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class?   we didn't really have a ‘health class’ at our school. we had a whole day once a term where our usual lessons were cancelled and we were all split off into different groups to learn all that shit. i used to stay home on those days because the routine change sent my anxiety sky high

what are your feelings regarding shopping?   i like it when I'm in the right mood

do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i think people sometimes mistake me for being rude or stuck up when its actually that I'm quite shy

have you ever worn fishnets? Nope

do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? my sister’s house

do you believe prayer really works? i do, especially after this week

do you have one best friend who is always there for you? kind of

describe one of your most emotional farewells. not really had any emotional farewells

have you ever been tied up? eh, nope.. well not in a serious way :’)

how many times have you been cussed out? i dont think i really have been in a genuine way, only ever jokingly

does it bother you when people ask personal questions? not really, if it did i wouldn't have a tumblr just for surveys haha

do you know anyone who’s been in jail? dont think so nope

have you ever considered acupuncture? Nope i cant do needles

have you ever watched the same sex undress? only when it happens in films/tv but never watched a guy get fully naked aha

have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? Nope

have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yeah, but only a handful of times

do you enjoy mario games? not really played Mario games tbh

do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) not sure

does it bother you when dogs lick you? i love my dogs but i don't really like being licked, i don't like the feeling of it especially on my face or feet

do you feed your pets human food? Occasionally, but we always double check before that its nothing poisonous or anything

which is worse: being sexist or racist? dont even get me started. They're both as bad as each other. The thing about racism is that its never picked up on when it happens to a white person. We experience it too, but for some reason it doesn't count if you're white.. Racism is NEVER okay and it affects ALL races. White people, black people and every skin colour in between.

do you think suicide is selfish? Only if the way you do it affects someone else. for example, jumping in front of a train or car, or throwing yourself of the top floor of a busy shopping centre in front of loads of people. thats when it gets selfish because youre forcing other people to witness something that could be potentially traumatising and could disturb them for the rest of their lives. Especially when it involves jumping in front of a vehicle because that driver has to live their life knowing that someone died because they hit them with whatever they were driving. personally, if someone jumped in front of my car and ended up dying i would never drive again and it would ruin my life. so yeah, thats when suicide is selfish, and this was a long answer haha

would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? No

what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? probably glee songs

how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? seems I'm not fussy enough from past experience :’)

do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i wouldn't know

in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? depends on the situation and why you broke up

what’s the first animal you go to see at the zoo? Whichever is closest to the entrance. we always need a system when we go to the zoo so we see everything haha

what’s the strangest or rarest creature you’ve seen at a zoo? when i went to australia zoo there were loads of creatures i didn't even know existed and i cant remember any of the names

what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn’t be? im not sure. i think as long as the animals have a good way of life, are treated right and are happy then theres no reason why they shouldn't be at the zoo. and if being there means they're protected and can help the species not to go extinct then thats awesome!

do you like zoos or aren’t you bothered? i like the a trip to the zoo :) I'm gonna love taking a foster kid to the zoo

i offer you a cigarette, you say… no, and do not smoke anywhere near me

why do you think you were put on this earth? i haven't quite figured it out yet

is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? it is never okay to hit a child

do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? Maybe slightly, i think it can de-sensitise us and make us see violence as more normal. BUT saying that, i play gta and it doesn't make me want to go round punching/shooting people so it depends on the person i guess..

are you in any shape or form, racist? No. i don't understand it at all. at the end of the day, we’re all humans no matter where were born, what our nationality is, skin colour is. It doesn't matter. A person is a person.

are you in any shape or form, sexist? again it doesn't matter what gender you are, you're still a human being

how do you think the world will end? as a christian, i believe it ends when God decides it will end.

what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? Aurora borealis or however you spell it

would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i dont think i could ever kill someone.

what is your favorite cover of a song? pretty much everything Pentatonix does. I LOVE their cover of ‘Hallelujah'

have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? neve been in love

have you ever received or given a make-over? Yup, received a few. given a few, my male best friend was the best because he let us do a photoshoot of him in full make up and i still have the pictures :’)

do you know anyone who is HIV+? not that i know of

have you ever been to a desert? no, i was supposed to go riding camels in the desert while on holiday but i got sick and spent two days stuck in the hotel in bed

do you know any trans* people? Nope

what is your favorite beatles song? let it be.. is that them? Idk

what is the poorest you have ever been? Teenage years when i got £70 to last a month but it basically all went on my gym membership and bills.

i’m sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who’s your favorite? dont really follow any gamers, i like watching pointless blog play sims though

is there something written on your shirt right now? nope, its a plain black shirt

what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? i dont play either of those

where do you find the surveys you take? i follow a load of survey Tumblrs and steal ‘em of there

what’s one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? Sit at the door and bark every time they see a squirrel. or a bird. or a shadow. Literally anything and one of them will bark, then they all start barking and having four dogs barking its an absolute headache.

what’s your favorite song by your favorite artist?   oh i cant answer that, i have too many favourites.

do you have an “original character?” i dont really get the question

what about a persona/fursona?   wut..?

do you ever MAKE your own surveys? nope im not very original

why’s it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases? first of all, rude. secondly, its all Eve’s fault.. read the bible

do you get good internet where you live? yeah its alright most of the time

ever had a cavity? how many? Never

ever broken a tooth? Nope

what did you do on the playground at your school as a child? i liked playing make believe. me and my friend in primary school came up with our own pretend kids tv show called witches and fairies where she played a witch, i played a fairy and we had adventures :’)

are you into comics? a bit

did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? Sims!! Rollercoaster tycoon & zoo tycoon.

what do you think of people who have therapists? Brave. I've had a few therapists during school/college so i know how difficult it is and i gave up on therapy so i really admire people who stick with it

do you have any of those adult coloring books? i have a few, my favourite is one full of the original Alice in wonderland artwork. ALSO i found out the other day theres a fantastic beasts one and i rally want it

ever ridden an elephant?   Nope

deserts: dreary or beautiful?   i think they can look beautiful in pictures but i imagine they'd be dreary irl

ever seen a panda?   only in pictures

what kind a camera do you have?   my phone is my main camera. i do own a Sony a290 dslr that i have to buy for college but i don't use it anymore

do you have stretch marks? where? don’t be shy, they’re tiger stripes! i do, on my thighs

lobsters: cool or scary? Scary

opposoms: total vermin or cute? i dont know what they are

what tv channel dominated your childhood?   Cbbc

ever actually seen a snake in the wild? dont think i have nope

have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? NO! Snakes scare me

ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they’re scary! i have not nope

do you like oatmeal? Nope

wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? does England have a national bird?!

ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? Nope. i would like a bearded dragon, but having to feed it live bugs freaks me out. even just the thought of having the bugs in my house i cant even

ever play hearthstone? dont know what that is..

ever gone hunting? biggest thing you’ve ever shot?   No. and I'm disgusted by people who do hunt

how about fishing? biggest thing you’ve ever caught?   i used to fish with my grandad when i was a kid, but i only ever caught small ones

coolest place you’ve ever been fishing?   Idk I've only ever been to lakes on camp sites

which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i didn't know there was a difference

craziest thing you’ve ever eaten? i dont eat crazy stuff, I'm too scared of eating crazy stuff

what’s in a camel’s back? Idk ask the camel

steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? Brave. i love Steve irwin, i think he did great work and its a shame he died. I've been to his zoo in australia and I’ve never seen happier animals in a zoo. we spent at least half an hour watching the tigers play in the water with the zoo keepers and you could tell there was a genuine love between them.

what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? If thats what they want to do then fine.

don’t you think it’s a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra?   nope. if wearing a push up bra makes you feel better about yourself and gives you confidence then you do it!

do you truly believe we came from chimps? No

well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them?   Idk

if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be? my dad

weirdest video game you’ve ever played? i dont think I've played any weird games tbh

we’re having a pig-pickin’! whatcha eating? a what?

ever been on a scary hay ride? no I'm a chicken

ever been to a castle?   Yuppie live like half an hour away from Warwick castle so I've been there a lot in my life

what’s your favorite kind of penguin? rockhopper- we had to make penguin masks in college for one of the shows the actors were doing so i made a mask of a rockhopper penguin

whales. should they be allowed in sea world? if they're treated right then yeah

ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal?   yeah there was someone in my school who was albino

what do you think of the song “miss jackson” by panic! at the disco? Don't think I've heard it

what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? it used to be a picture of me and him but i don't know if he's changed it

do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? No

do you like using big words when you talk? No I tend to say words wrong and make a fool of myself

do you EVER use caps lock? Rarely. i cant read things very well if they're written in capitals

are you loud when you’re having sex?  Doubt it

have you ever wanted to drop out of school? yes, i hated school but in England you're not allowed to just drop out

when was the last time you watched south park? dont think I've ever watched it

are you italian? nope

are you interested in photography at all? Yes i enjoy taking photos and used to be super into it but when i studied it in college i had such an awful time it kinda ruined it

any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? nope

do you like bob marley? hes alright, I've not really listened to his music much so i don't really have an opinion

can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? my mom, pretty much yeah. dad, not so much.

are you interested in art? a bit, not a lot though

don’t you think we’re spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? no i think were not spending enough. we should all be way more concerned with global warming than we are

everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what’s your SECOND favorite? i dont have a first favourite so i cant have a second favourite. i just have a big list of favourites

who’s your favorite disney character? again, i don't have a favourite there are too many. i tend to like the sidekicks in the movies more than the main characters like Sven & Olaf from frozen, Pascal & Maximus from Tangled etc

have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? Nope

do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? Vitamin C

how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? my prom dress wasn't very expensive, I can't remember exactly how much it was. I still have it in my wardrobe but I don't like it 

would you marry someone of a different religion? Possibly, if i loved them enough. and if they understood i wouldn't change my religion

how did you learn the word “fuck”? probably at school

if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? i dont have enemies so idk

what is the last movie you saw in theaters? Passengers

have you ever got into a wreck?   not a serious one nope

do you think you are an argumentative person? Not really, unless its something I'm passionate about or if I'm hurt by something

can you admit when you’re wrong?   Yeah

are you easily confused? very :’)

do you think you would make a good wife/husband?   i think i would

have you ever caught a butterfly?   not on purpose.

have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? nope i dont drink so i wouldn't try make anyone else

do you like being kissed on the neck? no, it feels gross

favorite song by the band the offspring? never heard of them

how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i dont set an alarm often and when i do i don't press snooze

when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? normally fries

what video game or computer game are you best at? sims

how do you normally come across new music? listening to the radio, or when ads or videos use a song i like the sound of i find out what it is

what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? English, I've never had to analyse a book or poem in my life since leaving school

do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? no they're annoying

are you pretty politically correct? idk probably

have you ever behaved like a stalker?   probably online yeah :’)

do you appreciate other people’s opinions?   depends what its about

if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be?   pet name for myself or for an actual pet..? I've already decided when i get my own dog i want to call it moose

do you care what’s going on in the world? i care, but i don't make an effort to find out cause its usually all depressing stuff

how many partners is too many? at one time or like in a lifetime..? lifetime it doesn't matter but if you have more than one parter at once then thats too many

do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose?   nope

do you prefer boys to shave down there?   Idk

how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)?   she knows its non existent

are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names?   Nope ut she lived with her partner Tom

have you ever had a pet bird?   Yeah, we used to own to cockatoos called bobby and beauty

how many times have you moved in your lifetime? 2

if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them?   dont want any piecrings. i have a tattoo already but i want another one on my ankle/foot of a lighthouse

would you consider yourself to be adventurous?   Nope

has any part of your house ever been flooded?   dont think so

is there anyone that you’re worried about right now? who and why? our foster baby, he's two weeks old tomorrow but he's still in hospital with drug withdrawals so he cant come home yet

if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it?                                                                                              I would donate to dogs home or a mental health charity

describe the best friend you’ve ever had, or the best person you’ve ever known.   I cab right now 

have you ever adopted a stray animal?   We've adopted a few dogs in my lifetime but none recently

what time did you wake up this morning?   about 9am

ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything?   yeah, i cant see anyone getting to know me and being like ‘shes perfect for me’ like srsly I'm too much of a mess

would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde?   not platinum nope

what is your mom’s middle name?   Anne

do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes? n/a

have you had your wisdom teeth out?   Nope

your appendix?   yeah, mine burst when i was two years old and tried to kill me haha

[hashtaghiphop]

#HASHTAGHIPHOP FEATURED INTERVIEW: @ChuckDiiesel

1. Who are you?

I'm Charles Chuck Die$el Wright. I’m kid who always seemed lost in his own world. But everybody usually fucks with me because I'm 'chill af'. Yet at the same time I'll be the first person ready to turn up.  IDK I'm an Aquarius, so I'm a lot of different people just depends on when you catch me.

2. What state are you from and what area do you rep?

Im from the DOUBLE O!!! Ohio baby. I rep the 330 and the 216 the hardest.I also lived in Akron for a second and Seattle, Washington as a kid.  I was born in Wooster but at ten moved to Cleveland, Grovestreet specifically. Those few years  I spent there really enlightened me to just life. It also opened my world to  a whole other side of music. In Wooster I lived with my granny, so it was all gospel all the time. Once I hit Cleveland I got my first radio and z107.9 created a monster. But yeah Wooster is where I spent most of my life before graduating high school. Thats partially why I made the song #330 which is on  #TrapDiesel, dropping pretty soon.

3. Who are your biggest influences/inspirations? 

My biggest inspirations? Wow, theres a lot.  One of my biggest inspirations is Jimi Hendrix. I mean this man ate, slept, and shit with his guitar. I don’t know I get inspired by a lot of random people. Like theres this young girl, Mala from the middle east who advocates for women’s rights after being shot in the head for protesting. Really man just anyone who stays positive in this world. And every young person I see doing what they love and chasing dreams getting recognition just really inspires me to get up everyday and be better and do something positive that day.

4. Why did you decide to make Hip-Hop music? 

I decided to make hip hop music because I listened to it all the time. Also because I got tired of hearing garbage ass music all over the place. But the main reason wasn't even my idea, My older cousin Qua made me and my other cousin D'Shae freestyle battle one day when we were ten. After that I wrote it down and would play with the idea of rapping. I started writing poetry and it became a way to  help me think and figure out how to say what I was feeling. So one day I  made  a song that included how i felt. After trying it I was stuck, I couldn't quit. it just  ignites me. Me and my cousins started taking it more serious as we got older.We would be half an ounce in and just free styling thinking we were making the hardest shit. I tried to quit once, i decided I didn't like my voice. But I literally couldn’t quit for more than a few weeks. I would find myself free styling in my head,  or i would  start writing,  absent minded, random rhyming words.  So after countless freestyle sessions and bullshit cyphers I started finding crazy ass flows and rhyme schemes and decided i was good enough to start making music again.

5. What makes you different than every other artist? 

What makes me different than other artist is I discern my music between music for me and music for other people.Also I have a lot of different sounds. I can literally write a love song, then record a trap banger two seconds later. I write all types of songs not just rap even if all people ever hear from me personally is rap. Also I take my inspiration from the most random things sometimes. Like I can be looking at something on the ground and turn it into a lyric. 

6. Where can people find you?

People can find everything Chuck Diesel related right here at iCreateREALity.net

Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/y 

Instagram: @ChuckxDiesel 

Snapchat @CdotWright1 

Twitter: @ChuckDiiesel 

iTunes: https://itun.es/us/NgDPfb

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2DS2SX624TVS36LnGuqFdm