#like. i will. i'll treat her politely as is expected of me working with someone i dont like

[orcelito]

perhaps also related to the fact that i am scheduled to close this weekend with the person who was apparently laughing about how a year ago there was a supervisor chat without me Specifically for the purpose of shit talking me

and im supposed to treat her graciously after that? get Fucking real.

[strawberryblue-blog]

Disaster. Part 1 —Joao Felix.

summary: You see Joao again after he broke your heart and nothing goes as you expected.

warnings: none. enemy to lovers, exes to lovers, many curses, cute, soft.

words count: +2.3k

#SEXYNOTE: Don't worry, there will be a second part of this and it will come faster than you think. Thanks for waiting, sorry for being late. love y'all 💙

The Uber took you to the place you had indicated when you left home, right outside the restaurant where you were supposed to have dinner. Before entering you took your purse and took out a gloss to put some on your lips, it was just a little gloss to look more appropriate. Even though you had left work an hour ago and after a quick shower and putting on the first thing you found, it wasn't like you were ready for your date.

Yes, a date. A blind date that your best friend had set up for you, which you clearly hadn't asked for but had had to agree to when she was so insistent that you come along.

Camila had taken it upon herself to find the perfect suitor for you, according to her. You had absolutely no idea who this was, you didn't even know if it was true or if it was going to be a joke from your friend. She was very insistent that your partners were invisible because she had never really seen you with one. But you had never done anything official with anyone for a long time, you didn't invest your time in men anymore.

You walked into the fancy restaurant, which you allowed yourself to admire as you closed the door behind you. Your friend had mentioned dressing well and you felt a little offended when she said it, but now you understood. Eating here was probably going to be expensive but you could treat yourself for today and if it all ended badly on the date, you would never come to this place again.

"Hello, excuse me" you called to the receptionist. "The table in the name of Y/LN?" you asked at the girl's kind smile.

"Good evening, your table is table 9" she kindly replied checking on her computer.

You politely thanked her and as you turned to go your way, your legs shook. You were nervous and you were not one to get nervous. But the thought of sitting down to dinner with a complete stranger made you hesitate. However, you plucked up your courage and went on your way, spotting the tables guiding you to find your number.

A man's marked back made you swallow your breath. You were a few steps away from him and when your eyes caught sight of the young man with his back turned, you sighed, calming your nerves. I'll just be a while, eat, chat and then leave. «Be nice» You said in your mind. Above all you were going to be polite, whatever your date, you were going to make a good impression.

You took your last steps, approaching the table and when the boy heard you, he looked up at you.

Oh, no. No way.

"Hello, Y/n" he greeted with a smile.

You, on the other hand, frowned in confusion feeling your legs wobble. Damn it. It couldn't be. This was a dream.

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a mistake" you said trying to pretend you didn't recognize it. Your voice dropped and you looked to your sides in confusion.

But inside you, everything moved. This was not true.

"There isn't" the young man mentioned. "Camila wanted to get us together apparently" came back a chuckle.

Damn it. You couldn't believe it was him sitting there. He looked so changed. He really looked more handsome, more mature, like a real man. But in your mind he was still the young man from a few summers ago, the handsome boy who had been driving you crazy since you were little.

"This has got to be a fucking joke," you sigh in disbelief.

Your friend really is crazy, how could she think she could bring you on a date with Joao? The same guy who had rejected you years ago and broke your heart, you hated him!

"You look great" he announced trying to flirt.

"Not with me, Joao" you warn denying.

You don't know whether to be offended by the situation, whether he had been sent by someone who hated you in this life or what was the reason he was here. But he definitely knew you would be here, while you came here hoping to connect with someone else.

You felt somewhat frustrated by what happened that the hunger or anxiety you felt vanished and the urge to run from the place came over you.

"I-I think I should go" you stammered starting to walk.

"Wait!" you heard him yell but you started running to get out of the place.

Yes, you felt offended, humiliated and weird. How were you supposed to connect with Joao if you guys weren't speaking to each other since that day, you hadn't even thought about seeing him again. You were supposed to move on with your lives and never cross paths again. Had Camila lost her mind? Of course she had. There was no other explanation.

You stood on the sidewalk of the place with your head looking sideways, waiting for a cab to arrive as quickly as possible. Damn it! You'd come here for nothing, now you were hungry and a goddamn craving for Joao!

It was clear that seeing him again had had an effect on you, even more so when he looked as fucking hot as he did. You weren't the same as before, now you were both grown up and you had the strength to face him, but he wasn't going to play with you again.

A sigh escaped your lips as no one seemed to appear in the night. Great, what else could go wrong? You'd already ruined dinner, you'd drive home hungry and embarrassed. There were no cabs around and walking was not an option.

Lights flashed in your view as a car approached you, you sighed gratefully. When it parked in front of you, you bit your lower lip with a grimace. It wasn't a cab or an Uber. It was a damn sports car that was worth more than your entire estate put together. It was Joao's car.

You ignored him as he leaned out the window, averting your eyes to the road praying a cab would show up right now. You weren't going to let him drive you home, you weren't going to let him into your life again.

"Stop acting immature, get in" he indicated after a few minutes.

No one had shown up until then. Not even a damn bus that could take you home. But you couldn't give in.

You turned on your heels and started walking briskly, with your head held high and taking it all in. Getting a little further away was a good option and maybe on the way you would find a cab. Beside you, you could see the car start to approach you, and you pressed your lips together indignantly. Why hadn't he left yet? Wasn't it enough for him to see you running out of the restaurant or to ignore him here?

As you walked, the car's lights still shining on you, you could see out of the corner of your eye how he was getting closer and closer to you. You were starting to get annoyed.

"Get in, Y/n, please" he shouted from inside like a plea. "It's late, let me take you home safe and sound" he said again and you stood up with a start.

You hated it. You had done something wrong in this life for karma to pay you back like this, right where it hurt the most. Of course. It's not easy to forget when a man rejects you in your full youth, much less one you liked very much. And he had hurt you so much.

You sigh cursing and grab the doorknob of the car, opening the door to sit in the seat with a serious little pout on your face. You stare straight ahead at all times, not giving him the pleasure of looking at you even though you know he smiled like he had won the lottery.

"Don't say a word" you point out angrily. Joao nods with a chuckle and sets off.

The silence is overwhelming inside the car and you can feel the nerves stinging on the tips of your toes. Your palms sweat and you don't know what to do. There is no music, no words. There are only sighs and the voice of the geolocator pointing the way to your house.

The tension becomes more and more suffocating, at times you find it hard to breathe and your gaze wanders a little to the boy's place. You swallow as your eyes focus on his muscular thighs and you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Joao notices your tension and turns from time to time to look at you, making it increasingly difficult.

Damn it. Through the window you catch a glimpse of his profile and your heart races at the sight of him looking so calm, when you're a mess inside thanks to him. The heat in your neck makes you swallow your saliva nervously, the trip seems to take forever and you start to get anxious about getting home.

A current of electricity runs down your back when Joao's hand releases the steering wheel and goes to your leg. Your breath hitches and you freeze. His fingers dig into your inner thigh and you stifle a gasp in your throat as he gently caresses you. You want to grab his hand and pull it away but you cannot. He's left you speechless. You don't even recognize yourself right now, but the fire begins to grow inside you and you despair that you can't control it.

You're thankful when you start to recognize the houses in your neighborhood, knowing you're close to home makes you feel a little safe. You need to get out of this car before something else grows inside you.

When his car parks in front of your house, you sigh to fill your sick lungs with air. You haven't breathed easy since his hand caressed you and when his hand is removed from your body, the air rushes back into your system. You open the door, staggering, anxious to get out. You listen as Joao also gets out of the car and you watch him from the corner of your eye circle the car.

On his face is a seductive smile, a smile that makes you think he won. Damn it, you should never have let him bring you home. Or let him touch you. «Great, Y/N, you're an idiot!»

When he's close to you, he's leaning against the side of the hood of his car, his hands in his pockets, staring at you. Your body is on its side, you turn your back to him and it's now that you feel humiliated. You have to thank him, it's the least you can do for driving here but your face falls in shame. You hug your body, giving yourself some reassurance and turn around facing him.

"Thanks for the ride" you say simply.

The distance between you is prudent but you know that doesn't ensure you feel your belly contract as you see him there, licking his lips with his exalted gaze on you. Your eyes tremble as they meet his, you try to look away but you can't help but think how cute they are. Everything about him. Damn it.

"My pleasure, Y/n" he says softly. You nod with a grimace.

You make the feint to turn around but stop yourself. You can't, your body acts on its own. You run up to him and kiss him without saying anything. Even though you took him by surprise, Joao rests his hands on your hips and pulls you to him, kissing your lips. Your tongues dance in rhythm, while your hands are busy caressing his chest. The taste of his mouth is still intact in your memory, recalling your first kiss years ago.

When the images of that night that was so special for you (but nothing special for Joao) come into your head, you quickly pull away from him. Your lips are numb and heavy, your heart pounding and the fire in your chest burning.

It was a nice kiss but that will be all.

You won't see him again, you don't want to see him again. This is just part of your mistake in having gone on the date in the first place. Tomorrow you can forget about it as long as you stay away from Joao.

Just like that, you turn and walk quickly for home, escaping his nets before it's too late.

It's not too late, is it?

[king--dom]

"Goddammit Caleb, fuck off. I really thought you were different"

"This IS different! We've been friends forever, Lucy! I was one of the first people you came out to and I've been by your side for years!"

"Waiting for your chance, evidently!"

"Is it such a crime to wanna help my friends start a family?"

"It should be to pretend to be someone's friend just to be 'the one man'."

"You said yourself that IVF is too damn expensive!"

"Yeah, and that me and Amanda gonna save up for it "

"But what if you don't have to? It could take way longer than you expect and with the way politics are going, it may not be an option in a few years."

"Then why don't you help us pay for it if you care so damn much?"

"I would if that's what you needed! But if we don't HAVE to spend the money and if my genes are as good as anybody's and--"

"And if you get to fuck your lesbian couple friends."

"Only to help start your family!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll keep insisting we 'make sure' until we start showing."

"They came out with an app that alerts you the second your pregnant, so it would just be until the alert goes off"

"Oh my fucking god...you realize Amanda is the one who's gonna carry the baby right? This still isn't your chance to fuck your old crush"

"Like I've been saying, that's not what this is. And y'know before she came out I--"

"Shut up before I hear something you'll regret. That's my wife you fucker"

"Alright, just promise you'll talk it over with her, okay?"

"What makes you think she'll agree?"

"I don't necessarily think she will, but I still want to offer any help I can"

"Ugh, fine. But don't get your hopes up."

*******************************************

"Babe you can't be serious."

"Lucy, I know you're stressed out trying to save money, but I don't think he's being underhanded."

"I'm not talking about that! I got over that, he's just a ridiculous dork. I mean you can't seriously be considering fucking that goober."

"To save a quarter year's wages? Maybe. It doesn't have to be a big production, it's just sex"

"But it's more than just sex. I don't know, sex with you is something really important and special to me. Him just giving you a boring fuck is almost worse than you having sex with a man in general."

"So you'd rather he seduce me and blow my mind?"

"I'd rather put a baby in you myself! Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry babe, I know you're much more of a man-hater than me but I really don't see the big deal."

"Oh yeah? You're the one with a nonstop libido, I figured it'd be a pretty big deal to you"

"Stop~ you might get me riled up haha. I've looked into that app, y'know. It's legit, it even tracks orgasms. Why don't I set it up and you can see just how much you've got me wrapped around your finger. Would you feel less scared that your best friend will steal me away then?"

"Pff, he doesn't scare me. Fine, let's see if it works and if it does I'll tell Caleb he's got a chance at being a donor."

******************************************

"You seem a lot more chipper today"

"Let's just say it's nice to put numbers on how good of a top you are"

"You tried out the app? It's pretty great right?"

"Hmph, I guess. Listen, I appreciate you want to help, but you have to understand this is about more than money for me. My pride as a provider, a top, and a lesbian are in the mix. My girl deserves the best and if I'm gonna allow anybody else to fuck her they gotta prove they're up to the task"

"Uh, okay? I think I get what you mean. So what do you propose?"

"I'm not gonna just let you fuck my wife. You're gonna have to somehow get her hot and heavy for you and treat her right before you even get a shot"

"You want me to...seduce Amanda?"

"I want you to try. Since I can track her orgasms, I'll know if you don't satisfy her before you try to knock her up. If you dare try to pump and dump my wife, it's seriously gonna be the last thing you do."

"Okay okay! Sorry, this is just a full 180 from what you were saying last time. And wait...you're gonna use the app to track it? You're not just gonna be in the room?"

"One: I don't wanna have to watch you fumble with pleasing my wife. Two: I still have to make money to pay the mortgage and groceries."

"Okay...so what time should I--"

"Figure it out."

"Huh?"

"I told you I'm not gonna just let you sleep with Amanda. I'm actually going to be playing goalie as much as I can to keep you from getting the chance."

"Wait but you said--"

"These are the terms of my challenge: if you try to come over when I'm home I'm going to physically throw you out like Jazz in Fresh Prince. If you somehow get Amanda to let you in and get in bed, the first orgasm I'm alerted to I'm heading straight over to-once again-bounce your ass on the pavement. You have a week starting tomorrow morning to do your best and if you can't, you're paying for half the IVF"

"God, I forgot how competitive you get. Okay fine I'll--"

"Ah! Not done. To make sure you don’t chicken out, 'cause you're my friend but I really wanna enjoy cockblocking you, if you somehow manage to put a baby in Amanda after making her cum...I'll let you put a baby in me."

"...Lucy..."

"Ha! What's wrong? Too scared or too horny to think straight?"

"Sigh...fine...if this is what it takes to help you two, I accept."

"Good! You're not a coward of a man after all. Go ahead and get your finances straight tonight because starting tomorrow, it's the beginning of the end for you."

********************************************

"You're so dramatic"

"Don't act like it doesn't turn you on~"

"Two things can be true haha as long as you're comfortable, I'm willing to play along"

"I still can't believe you're okay letting him come onto you"

"Well I guess now I don't have to be since he has to pay up if he doesn't. As dramatic as it is, I appreciate you prioritizing my pleasure.

"Like I said, sex with you is sacred. I intend to enforce that. Why don't I prioritize your pleasure before we go to sleep~"

*********************************************

"Have a good day babe!"

"You too Amanda, remember to not even open the door unless Caleb somehow manages to make you blush"

"I probably won't even hear the doorbell, you got me all revved up I'm probably gonna stay in bed a but longer and jill to the thought of what you did last night~"

"God I love you."

********************************************

*Ping*

[3 orgasms @ 8:32, 9:14, & 9:56]

"God she couldn't even wait for me to get to work. Lunch is almost done and she never texted saying Caleb swung by. He must not be taking this seriously enough. I was certain my wager would light a fire under him, oh well his loss."

"Hey Lucy, glad I caught up with you. You back on the clock?"

"About to be what'sup?"

"Got a rush order that has to be done today. Marketing fucked up and never sent us their info, now we need it ready for tomorrow's presentation."

"Goddammit, okay. If I start now I can probably bang it out before quitting time."

"Awesome, I gotta go put out some other fires, you're a life saver"

"Just remember that at my next review! ...man he moves fast, better get a raise from this."

*Ping*

[1 new orgasm @ 12:34]

"Heh, Amanda must be getting her second wind."

*Ping*

[1 new orgasm @ 12:43]

"Damn...she never bounces back that fast. I really must have set her on fire last night

*Ping*

[2 new orgasms @ 12:58 & 1:05]

"Fucking hell, she must have gotten a new vibe? Shit I'm getting wet just thinking about it. I should be home right now instead of working on this last minute bullshit report"

*Ping*

[3 new orgasms @ 1:19, 1:26, & 1:37]

"I just have to put my phone away. I can't think while I'm checking this every time."

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Da-ding! Da-ding!*

"What the fuck is that notification??"

[2 new orgasms @ 1:49 & 1:56]

[3 new orgasms @ 2:09, 2:16, & 2:25]

[2 new orgasms at 2:37 & 2:48]

[Successful impregnation @ 3:08]

"What the fuck!? When did he even...HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN THERE!?"

"Lucy? What's wrong?"

"Jerry, I need to get home right now! Jesus this is--"

"Family emergency? Somebody at the hospital?"

"Yes! I mean not that, but--"

"Are you almost done with the report?"

"I'm like halfway through, I can finish it first thing!"

"East coast branch needs it first thing their time EST."

"I can finish it at home, I promise!"

"Not this one, it's some serious NDA stuff. We'd lose our accredidation if you took this home."

"Fucking...is nobody else able to take this over?"

"Not without overtime. Listen normally I'd let it slide, but unless someone is dying or being born I can't spare you. I'll try to send someone over to help you out."

"God it's already too late to...okay thanks Jerry. Fuck..."

"Sorry Lucy"

**********************************************

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

"Stupid fucking marketing that cant send shit on time. Stupid fucking interns that can't read excel. Stupid fucking traffic holding me up! Stupid fucking CALEB! FUCKING MY WIFE!"

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"YOU BETTER BE LONG GONE CALEB! WHEN I GET IN HERE I'M GONNA FUCK. YOU. U--..."

"Oh hey Lucy, I was wondering when you were getting home. Amanda here's been pretty impatient."

"What the FUCK is going on??"

"Well right now she's sucking me off 'cause she's too blissed from cumming her brains out but still feeling pretty amorous"

"I can fucking see that you--how the fuck did this happen?

"I waited to come over when I knew you were settled at work. Maybe it's best Amanda tell you the rest from there~"

*Pop*

"Ha...ha...ha...hi Lucy~ y’know even after wearing myself out I wasn't ready to just let Caleb in...but he started talking about wanting to get to know his future baby mama better and I was already feeling like a prized treasure after last night~ I really was just planning on talking to him, catching up on things, but he said such sweet things and really listened to everything I had to say about my boundaries and what feels good. Then he asked to make sure he knew what I liked and I let him touch me and...oh boy I don't know how we never clocked him as a lover boy but mmmm he knows how to use his hands"

"Amanda...you came so many times...so fast...faster than I've ever..."

"Lucy it's okay! I still love you and I can't wait to fuck you again, nothing's changed between us"

"Then why did you keep fucking after he knocked you up!"

"Heehee, well we really thought you'd be here by then... and we already had your permission...and you made a big deal about how I deserve the best~"

"Would you say I passed your test, Lucy?"

"Caleb I swear to god I'm--You need to leave before I do something that'll land me in jail."

"Sweetie, don't be like that~ Come here lemme--"

"Don't touch me, you're covered in his--"

"Shh shh shh, we're all friends. This was always a possibility"

"No it wasn't! He's a dork that's crushed on me since high school! There wasn't a world where he was gonna one-up me!"

"Well here we are, you didnt consider this when you made your wager?"

"I was gonna win!"

"Well now you need to own up to your end of the bargain"

"No fucking way! I'm not gonna--"

"It's okay Amanda, I knew it'd be a long shot. Honestly I'm honored to have helped this much. If Lucy wants to back out I'm--"

"Fuck you! Don't you act all high and mighty; I don't need your pity!"

"Sweetie it's okay, he's not gonna hold you to it"

"It's not about him! I...I put my pride on the line...and I fucking lost...welching on a deal isn't gonna fix that..."

"Whatever you need to do, I'm right here with you."

"Goddammit Amanda...I love you..."

"I love you too Lucy."

"Alright you fucker...you win...you knocked up my wife, you fucked her better than I ever could, and I couldn't even stop you...come and claim your prize..."

"Lucy I really wanna say this was never about humiliating you, I wanted to respect your challenge and...I'd be lying if I said your wager didn't motivate me, but I love you. As my best friend, as my future baby mama, and as whatever we may be in the future."

"You really did all this and were completely serious this whole time?"

"Well...yeah. what can I say?"

"I can't believe I'm letting such a fucking dork impregnate me..."

"We can take it as slow and steady as you want, no rush."

"Fuck that, let's get right to it"

"I had a feeling you'd say that. I may have talked to Amanda about what you like as well"

"Traitor"

"You'll think me later sweetie. Now kiss your baby daddy while I set up the app for you"

"Why?!"

"So we know when you're knocked up. Unless you wanna keep going after he's already bred you."

"Fine! I get it! Come here you fucking--"

"Oh wow he's really been wanting this...damn sweetie he's all over you. I thought he'd need some warm up first, but he must have memorized everything I told him. The app should be set up and synced to--"

*Ping*

"No way...Lucy there's no way you just--"

"Shut it! Shut up! We're not talking about it! I'm just pent up from a long day!"

"Aw c'mon it's not from me rubbing your clit like this?"

*Ping*

"You fucking bastard...not in front of my wife"

"It's okay sweetie, it's kinda hot seeing you like this. I always thought you liked to top because it's the only thing that made you feel good. I never realized you were so sensitive, it's kinda cute~"

*Ping*

"I told you she probably had a humiliation kink"

"Haaa! D-don't talk about mmme, like-fuck...like I'm not here!"

"Sorry honey, I've been your lover for years, but he's been your best friend for longer, I think he's got the full read on you."

"It's not that you're pathetic, it's that you're a badass who always has to keep it up. But you've pushed down the fear of not measuring up and now you get to safely feel what it's like to be a sensitive little bottom that's ready to fall apart for a man that can wrap you around his finger."

*Ping*

"Did I mention he's good at dirty talk?"

"Caleb! You motherfucker...if you tell anyone about this..."

"Shh, don't worry. This Lucy is just for me and Amanda to see. Speaking of, why don't you help your wife lie down and get ready mama?"

*Ping*

"Oh wow, Lucy you even cum when I call your wife mama? Good to know"

"Haaaa, I swear I'm...mmmm, going to..."

"Calm down sweetheart, let's get you ready. You're the only one with clothes still on. This is nice, usually you're leading me, but now I can lead you on how to be a good sub. Just focus on me, think about all the fun we've had on this bed and how you've made me look when you fuck me with your strap. Now that's gonna be you, and you're gonna be so hot~"

"Amanda I don't know if I can do this...if he makes me cum with his...and I like it...then he knocks me up...then--"

"Then you'll still love me and I'll still love you. And if there's room in our lives for our baby daddy, we'll work it out. We haven't failed, we've succeeded! We're gonna start our family! You've already made it happen"

"I love you Amanda"

"And I love Lucy"

"Shut up and kiss me before I hurl"

"I know I'm standing here with a raging hard-on, but you two are the most adorable couple ever."

"Yeah yeah, just come over here and don't make me regret this"

*********************************************

[56 new orgasms @ ...]

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, goddamn you motherfucker! Fuck me into the mattress! Batter my womb! Knock me up! Breed me! Pump your fucking kids into me! Fuck!"

"Damn Lucy, your dirty mouth perfectly matches the rest of your sexy body! You feel so good squeezing my cock, you're ready to be a mother now aren't you?"

"Yes! Goddammit, impregnate me so my tits can swell up and I can feed your fucking children! You fucking bastard, stole my fucking wife and then fucked me too. You motherfucker!"

"He hasn't stolen me Lucy, I should be worried about him stealing you from me at this point."

"Don't worry mama, she's just reveling in how her pathetic male friend outfoxed her and outfucks her too, isn't that right, Lucy?"

*Ping*

"I guess you're right honey~"

*Ping*

"Oh wow she really lights up when you call me pet names. Show her how much you've fallen for me, hm?"

"Yes dear, whatever you say. Even though Lucy wanted me all to herself, she was no match for my big strong man. I'm so lucky to have such a lovely baby daddy, though if you really love me you'll become my husband too~"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"She loves that! I think I love it too! Maybe I will make an honest woman out of you, poor Lucy here couldn't."

*Ping* *Ping*

"Please do sweetie, make me the happiest woman she never could~"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"This is it! I can't hold it anymore! Lucy's feels too damn good cumming on me! Here it comes Lucy! I'm going to breed you because you get off on your wife cheering me on! Now fucking take it!"

"Fuck yes! Make me your woman! Steal my wife! I-I...I love you Caleb!"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"Oh fuck! Ah! Ah! God I've never cum so fucking hard in my life, not even when I fucked your wife! Ahh fuck I'm still...take every last drop Lucy. You're my baby mama now...you're both mine now..."

*Da-ding! Da-ding!*

[Successful impregnation @ 1:34]

"He's right, we're both carrying his children now. Are you happy Lucy?"

"Aaa..aa...Amanda...he did it...we're both gonna be mothers..."

"We are Lucy! I'm so happy, we're gonna have kids together."

"Ha..ha..and they're gonna have the best dad in the world"

"I'd be honored to join you two, I can't believe how lucky I am."

"No...not join us...we're yours...we're the lucky ones."

"She's being dramatic again, but I'm not arguing. We'll figure out the paperwork later, for right now, let's all go to sleep as a new family~"

"I...I love you two...Amanda...Caleb..."

"We love you too sweetie. Go on Caleb, you can say it too."

"I love you too mama. And I love you too, darling~"

*Ping*

[danikamariewrites]

Hi! I never want to be a bother, but I love the way you write, and I would absolutely love if you wrote a Lucien x reader where the reader has scars (SH or otherwise) and is really insecure and struggles to do anything sexual because of it and I would love it to end in smut (maybe their first time)?? I live for the smut and fluff so both would be perfect. If it's a little too sensitive, that's okay, but I really think you would write this wonderfully! All the love.

Perfect to Me

Lucien x reader

A/n: (this is going to be a long note apologies) Hi! You are not a bother at all, I actually really like this concept and have been wanting to write about something like this for a while and I think Lucien is a good character to do it with. Thank you so much, I’m so happy you like my writing it makes my day every time I read that❤️

Warnings: trauma, injuries, violence, angst, and scars

You sit on your bed holding a pillow to your chest, your knees pulled up tight. You were waiting for Lucien to come over so you could finish your conversation from last night. You were nervous to tell him about your scars, but he had been so open about his.

You had kept what had happened with your sister in the past. Lucien was so supportive of your boundaries concerning your family. But you felt that you needed to do this to take the next step in your relationship with him.

A knock on your apartment door startles you. Jumping out of bed your feet move quickly to open it. Lucien stands in the hallway, wearing a small smile and holding a bouquet of violets. “Hi love.” he walks in and kisses you on the forehead. He hands you the bouquet.

“Thank you, Lu. They're lovely.” You pad over to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers, placing them in the center of the table. Lucien was standing in the doorway waiting patiently for you.

You walk up to him, picking at your fingers from nerves. “Where do you want to talk? I'm comfortable wherever you're comfortable.” You bite your lip as your eyes dart around the apartment. “Uumm…can we go to my room?” Lucien nods and lets you lead the way.

He was open about how his father abused him and the competition that was forced between him and his brothers. You knew he wouldn't judge you. He wouldn't look down on you or think differently of you. You just had to remember to breathe.

You sit in your previous spot on the bed. Taking the small, soft decorative pillow back in your arms. Lucien takes his boots off and sits cross-legged in front of you. You tug at your dress to make sure your legs are covered. “You don't have to say anything right away. Take your time, I'll stay as long as it takes y/n.”

“Thank you.” You take in a shaky breath and look down. “I know we haven't been super intimate, and I want to take that next step with you. But you've been so open about your past, so I need to be open about mine.” You could tell Lucien was tense.

His mind was racing. He didn't know what to expect next. All he knew was if the next words out of your mouth were that someone hurt you, he was going to hunt them down and make them suffer. He couldn't imagine anyone laying a hand on you for any reason. You were always kind and polite, never complained, and you always included others.

You do your best to keep eye contact with Lucien as you begin trembling. “My family didn't treat me well either. Mostly my older sister, but my parents didn't bother to stop her. My sister was threatened by me. She was very focused on beauty and finding someone in high society to marry.

��She saw me as competition and thought she would get ahead if I was less pretty. Her sadistic idea was to leave anything visible alone like my face or hands. But she would never miss an opportunity to put me down. For years I've worked on building my self-confidence and I've done a really good job.” You feel tears pricking your eyes.

You swallowed them back. “One day she snapped and went absolutely mental on me. She cornered me in my room, screaming that she saw me talking to some boy she had her eye on. She had stolen our father's dagger.” At this point, Lucien was fuming. Angry tears were falling from his eyes while you were trying to keep yours in. Your eyes glassed over from the water building on your lash line.

“She pushed me and nearly ripped my nightgown off. I was pinned and couldn't move. As she kept screaming at me she cut up my legs. When she was done she just looked down at me and said, ‘They might find you beautiful at first, but no one wants damaged goods. Anyone takes one look at your legs and they'll be repulsed.’ My maid found me a few minutes later and called the healers. They fixed me, no problem, but she went deep enough to scar.”

Lucien reached out to hold your face in his tan, calloused hands. Looking at you with understanding and love in his eyes. “I want to be with you, like that Lucien, I just had to tell you before we did anything.” He leaned his forehead against yours and you closed your eyes. You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders by telling him.

“You are so brave y/n. For surviving and for trusting me enough to tell me. You deserve all the love I give you and more.” You give him a soft smile. Pulling back from his embrace you wipe at your eyes. Lucien moves back a smidge to give you space.

“Can I show you?” You ask cautiously. You've seen his scars and even though he was supportive of you, your sister's voice still lingered in the back of your mind calling you ugly and damaged and unwanted. Lucien stares at you with doe eyes. “Of course love. And your scars don't change how I feel about you. You will always be perfect to me.”

You give him a tight nod and sit so you can pull your skirt up. As you slowly reveal your scarred legs to Lucien you look anywhere but his face. You don't know if you could stomach his reaction, no matter how he felt.

You stop at your hips and stare at your legs. “Can I touch you?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. You nod, swallowing hard. You squeeze your eyes shut and hold your breath.

Lucien places a hand on each thigh, gently caressing the rough skin. “These don't scare me y/n. These prove how brave you are and that you didn't let your past define you. I don't know how anyone wouldn't want you after knowing you. Any male that is ‘disgusted’ by them isn't a real male.” You blink your eyes open slowly, letting air down your throat again.

Grabbing Lucien’s chin you connect your lips with his. The kiss was soft and passionate. Lucien let you lead, he made sure you knew you were in control, letting you set the pace. You pulled back, your eyes fluttered open scanning his face.

Your heavy breaths mixed as you both leaned forward again. “Let me show you how much I love you y/n. Let me show you how you should be worshipped. Let me show you these are nothing to be ashamed of.” Lucien said against your lips. You nod, “Please Lu.”

Your eyes were full of lust as Lucien laid you down with all the care in the world. “Can I take this off?” “Yes.” He lightly lifts your back off the bed, unzipping and slipping your dress off over your head. He places you back down and slips his own shirt off.

Lucien runs his hands down your sides to your thighs. “So beautiful.” he breathes out. Your cheeks heat at the praise. It felt nice to be exposed like this to him, to finally be your true self with him. You reach out a hand and stroke his scar-flecked, sculpted chest, “Beautiful,” you breathe back.

He smiles at you, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss your knuckles. Lucien moves to hover over your legs. He places soft kisses from your right knee up to your thigh, then moves to show the same love to your left leg.

You reveled in the gentle touches he gave you, at how good his lips felt on you. The left a comfortable heat in their wake. Making you feel relaxed.

You stop him before he can go any further. You gently tug at his long red locks. He looks up at you, worried he's done something wrong. “I love you, Lucien.” He places a kiss on your tummy, staring at you through his lashes. “I love you too, y/n.”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane

[azems-familiar]

my thoughts on veilguard

putting this all below a cut; it will contain SPOILERS for all of veilguard, including the ending.

alright, i'll start with the good parts.

i did actually enjoy playing the game - while the mechanics are very different from previous dragon age games, i found it still had enough tactics in it to be interesting, and the varying difficulty levels helped a lot for me; i'm actually planning to try it on a slightly higher difficulty the next playthrough i do. i quite liked the exploration and felt that they'd successfully improved on the failed open worlds from Inquisition, and the puzzles all over were a lot of fun to decode. the art style itself is absolutely beautiful; i was skeptical of it in the trailers, but found myself enjoying it once i actually got into the game itself. the soundtrack is gorgeous (though i do think it lacks a bit when compared to inquisition's), and i overall had fun.

i do love all the companions, and as someone who really enjoyed me2's loyalty system seeing a similar style brought in here was quite fun for me. i also felt they did a good job trimming down extraneous side quests while still keeping the game feeling like it had plenty of content; i didn't fully 100% it my first run but i got through almost everything.i imagine if i'd gone for the full 100% my playthrough would've ran around 100 hours rather than the 95 i clocked (though that includes some character creator time, so isn't fully accurate. maybe 90?).

there were several very good moments - i enjoyed the conversations between Rook and Solas; overall i really loved most of Solas's content in the game. i felt the Varric bait-and-switch reveal was actually really well done. i played a trans nonbinary Rook and really adored the trans dialogue peppered throughout and how that interacted with the romances and with Taash's arc. the game also keeps track of how you interact with characters and has that influence the choices you get in the future, or the choices they make, which was very neat.

but overall...it really just feels like they dropped the ball.

this doesn't feel like a dragon age game. it's entirely absent the complex politics and intrigue that i'd expect from one - we are told many things that are there for plot reasons and given no deeper justification, such as the Antaam and Venatori not only willingly working together, but willingly working together for the elven gods. it's expected to be believable that the Dalish uniformly have accepted this version of their history that only the Inquisitor and her inner circle knew, besides Fen'harel's agents, ten years ago? speaking of Fen'harel, where are his agents, his network, his people?

(speaking of the Dalish, why are they all Veil Jumpers now. we see zero traditional clan structure onscreen and i'm kinda upset about it as someone who has played as a Dalish elf wherever possible in every game.)

the game has incredibly weird pacing; it uses Varric's screens to describe things that haven't happened and the characters don't know about, and i think they meant to have that build tension, but instead imo it just deflates it; there's no natural wondering what consequences things might have because everything is spelled out long before we get there. at the same time, things that should have been quests to discover are spoken of in "varricspace". this does get better later in the game, but it still feels...very weird. i think the worst part of it is at the beginning - you stop Solas's ritual, the gods escape, you have one conversation with Solas, everyone basically uniformly agrees the gods have escaped, and away you go. D'Meta's Crossing is treated like a "find out who your actual enemy is" part but...doesn't really end up actually feeling like that because of the weird exposition.

their decision to only carry over 3 choices but still reference past events left a lot of open-ended, vague moments - like Harding's conversation about the Inquisition, where she could only give surface details about a few people and said nothing about the Inquisitor at all, or Dorian and Maevaris talking about how Fereldan's succession was decided by a duel at one point but not saying anything else about it. or the fact that Hawke never comes up, despite one of their potential romances being right here, and Varric hanging around...whether that was Actual Varric or not lol.

i found a lot of plot holes - it was pretty clear they wanted to do specific things with the Blight, so there was just a lot of Wardens going "well we don't know what's happening it's changing all the rules" and massively fucking with that lore, which, okay whatever. i wasn't very happy with the fact that we destroyed Weisshaupt, but at least trying to destroy the Grey Wardens is kinda a dragon age special. the other Evanuris are basically treated as though they no longer exist, even though Solas trapped all of them in the Fade...? this was a big ol plot hole for the ending imo.

most people have said all the other things i could say about the writing, so instead i'll address the thing that bothered me the absolute most: the ending.

first - gratuitous character death that has almost no impact on the game or the characters? well i played mass effect, so whatever, i'm used to that. nah, i want to talk about Solas, and how the ending is awful for him, even the "good" one.

even if you ignore the plot hole about how there should still be several other Evanuris out there to maintain the Veil, pushing Solas to tie himself to the Veil and spend the rest of his immortal life protecting it as "atonement" is a super shitty ending. atonement for what? for actions that happened thousands of years ago, that he has lived with awful regret for since, that he was pushed into by Mythal? the game does a wonderful job of showing how manipulative and insidious their relationship was - i'd go so far as to call it abusive, though not in a way some people would recognize, emotionally rather than physically - only to then never touch on that or let the characters properly react to it. in fact, with the Titans, Solas is the one saying he knows this is a bad idea and will have consequences, and he's told to do it anyway - and yet Harding gets furious at him, then later laments that she should be ANGRIER at him for it.

Solas was used by Mythal time and again, very clearly felt as though he couldn't refuse her until the very end, often spoke out against her decisions, and most importantly was only one of the people responsible for the war with the Titans, and yet is made to bear all of the blame. Frankly I'm also upset by how the game railroads you into being angry at him for Varric's death and treating it as some horrible thing - Varric fucking tried to steal Solas's ritual knife, while unarmed, i don't know what he expected. and Varric's death alone is not a crime worth forcing Solas to spend his ENTIRE IMMORTAL LIFE "atoning" for. neither is his desire to tear down the Veil, which he never actually succeeded at doing.

a true, healthy and happy ending would have been Solas getting to pass off the mantle of his people's protector and whatnot, maybe to an elven Rook, and getting to go off and live an actual life, as he says he wanted to in a particular codex entry:

while i'm glad that Lavellan gets to go with him, it just felt like such an...almost punitive-punishment style ending. the evil villain has to go atone for his crimes all his life but because there's a good man who wanted to do good things (AND DID DO A WHOLE LOT OF GOOD LET'S NOT FORGET) under there he gets to have his lover with him for it. like. what are we punishing him for, lying to Rook??

idk, man. it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

[hotchs-big-hands]

hi hi im fucking obsessed with your page and all the lovely anons like ya’ll are keeping me alive with your thoughts, comments, rants, stories, and gifs😭😭😭 HOWEVER i was wondering if anyone has any thoughts about how the team would take it if they saw how haley was treating the reader with her snide fucking comments and ugly ass attitude???? OR what if haley tries to get the team on her side bc she’s so fucking stupid and blinded with jealousy even tho they arent really close in the first place????

please bless me with your thoughts (IM BEGGING YOU🧎‍♀️)

- 🌊

Awwwhhh gosh thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖 you're very sweet! And I welcome you 🌊 anon!! It's nice to have you here 🥰🥰🥰🥰

NOW onto the deets!! Sooooo okay they can tell that whenever you're around or mentioned Haley is ✨tense✨. I mean they are profilers! It esp goes down when there's a gathering at the bar after a case. You're there, as you often are (even before you started dating Aaron if you're part of the team) and just generally having a great time sitting with him.

And then Haley enters the same bar. She managed to have Jack handed over to her sister, being encouraged to "get back out there". But what Jessica doesn't know is Haley decided to go to the very same bar she was attending with Aaron with the team years ago. She had heard he was seeing someone, but now she knows he is. And boy... she is not happy.

You're younger than her for a start. Pretty. Real pretty. Definitely more filled out than she ever was, however. And Aaron has his arm around your waist, smiling gently and chuckling at whatever the conversation was being had. No, she didn't want to see him so-

So she decides to saunter into the bar, pretending she hasn't seen any of them as she orders herself a drink. As she takes hold of her drink she walks casually near their table, she knows they've spotted her now. And then she feigns surprise as she lets her eyes wander to the group.

"Oh! I didn't expect to cross paths with you all tonight." She says. The group offer polite greetings to her and she smiles and nods, then her eyes land on you. "Ah... and you are?"

You tell her your name. She watches as Aaron's grip on you tightens a little. She hums.

"I see. Well I'm Haley Brooks, Aaron's ex-wife. I'm sure you know my dearest Jack, yes? I'm his mother." She says smugly as she shakes your hand a little too tightly. You look uncomfortable, she enjoys it. Her eyes drift to Aaron, who's watching her with slightly narrowed eyes. "I didn't expect you to move onto someone so... hmm, how should I put it?"

"Haley." Aaron says. His tone is a warning. Haley narrows her eyes a little.

"I was only going to say they're young, Aaron." God, she enjoyed the discomfort from the way she said his name. You're looking at her with a certain look that suggested you knew she was lying about what she was about to say. No doubt you'd heard it before, she thinks. One of the others at the table clears their throat.

"Ah, you here with anyone tonight?" Emilia(Emily?) asks her. Haley shifts her gaze to the woman with dark hair.

"Mhm no. Just haven't had much time for myself recently." She knows her words sting. Good. You clear your throat and offer a polite smile.

"I don't mind looking after Jack sometimes if you and Jessica need a break. He's always a good kid when he's at his dad's." You offer and Haley breathes out through her nose sharply.

"That's funny, when I spotted you all I thought you probably worked as a babysitter. You certainly look like one."

Before anyone else can speak up, Aaron slams his glass down on the table and stands up, firm and tall.

"Alright, that's enough. I think you should go." He says sternly to her. Haley gasps, wide eyed.

"A-Aaron I-"

"Now."

In a spark of anger, Haley downs her drink in one and slams her own glass down on the table.

"Fine. I'll just have to try to find myself a ride home then." She snaps. She turns to leave, and from behind her she hears possibly Derek say,

"Leave it to us, Hotch. Stay with (Y/n)."

She never did get to see you again.

[viatagrinner]

Gilbert von Obsidian. Chapter 4

As Chevalier's spy, she wants to gather information about the Obsidian prince.

Gilbert put his arm around MC. Fear gripped her body and embarrassment faded into the background.

Gilbert: I'm freezing.

MC: .......I know that.

Gilbert: That was the point.

In his arms she was like a soft toy and the embrace was so strong that she was struggling to breathe.

Gilbert: I'm sensitive to cold, so I always want to feel people's warmth.

(This information...seems useless.)

Perhaps the mystery of Gilbert having no sense of distance has been solved.

Gilbert: I like Miss Bunny because you're warm.

MC: Why don't you wear your winter clothes instead of holding me?

Gilbert: Does it look bad?

The heroine does not want to be misunderstood. A man and a woman hugging each other in a public place... This is enough to cause gossip. The girl tries to pull away, but he only hugs her tighter.

Gilbert doesn't care, but the girl doesn't like it and it hurts her.

Gilbert: Oh, I'm sorry. It's hard to control the force.

He let her go, but not for long. His hand rested on her shoulder.

Choice:

1. ...I'm in trouble.

2. I'll bear it.

3. Let go.

Gilbert loves honesty. So option 3

MC: Let me go.

Gilbert: You're saying that to a guest of state?

She doesn't want to put up with the inconvenience just because he's noble.

Gilbert: Haha, you're so cheeky.

Gilbert: But I like that about you, right?

According to the prince one day she will get used to it and not feel anything.

But by then it will be too late.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

In the carriage.

Leon and Yves are in a bad mood. MC is puzzled. The house was in good condition, and the children were smiling.

Leon: There is nothing wrong with the management itself. It's not as if the children have been treated unreasonably.

Yves adds that it seems to him that they are being raised well until the children leave the orphanage.

Gilbert: Wouldn't this become a business tool for twisted aristocrats with bad taste?

MC: ...What do you mean?

Gilbert explains: Children are orphans. They are perfect for slavery, for hard work. There is no slavery in Rhodolite, but that doesn't change anything. There is the possibility that the children are being sold to aristocrats, using a false family registry.

Leon remarks that Gilbert has a keen eye.

Gil replies that this happens frequently in Obsidian.

Leon has seen dashes on the foster parents' lists, and he believes that many of the names may have been fake.

They need to find children in foster care.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

All four arrive at the baron's house.

Leon asks his assistant Julius where the children are.

Julius: I found the children imprisoned in the basement.

Leon hands the list with the children's names to his assistant.

Julius: You stole the document?

Leon: I didn't steal it, I borrowed it.

Julius: As expected of Prince Leon.

Leon gave orders for all involved to be locked up, not to let anyone go.

Before he left, Julius looked at Gilbert.

(What is it?)

The heroine noticed that the look, though it lasted a moment, was not hostile.

(I wonder what just happened.)

Gilbert: ...What an interesting pet.

MC: Prince Gilbert?

Gilbert: Oh, never mind.

Gilbert: The spectacle is about to begin, so you should concentrate on that.

Yves turns sternly to the Baron aside.

(But how do you know that the Baron was involved in the sale?)

Gilbert explains that someone informed the princes, after which an investigation was conducted.

Gilbert: Before the evidence is destroyed, we pull the documents from the asylum and interrogate the nobleman for dishonesty.

If the royal family is personally involved, no one can refuse to investigate.

(Proof that the domestic political faction listens to the voice of the people).

Gilbert: But aristocrats are creatures who like to fight.

Gilbert: Miss Bunny, if you don't want to die, stay close to me, okay?

The Baron, fearing for his life, rushed to the table and rang the bell.

Armed men burst into the room.

Leon suggests that the Baron belongs to an anti-royalist group.

The baron wants to run away, but the heroine resents this.

The knights are far away, and only she and the three princes are left in the room besides the enemies.

Gilbert, seeing her trying to think of something, notices that there is nothing she can do.

Leon and Yves fight, but the baron escapes. The girl wants to run after him, but is grabbed by Gilbert's hand.

Calling her a fool, Gil explains that the heroine has no physical training, plus she doesn't know the territory to run after a criminal.

MC: I'll set up an ambush.

Gilbert is skeptical. But he's determined to help her.

Gilbert: Because it's my job to help you today.

Leon calls out to her. After shouting to him that all is well and telling him that it will buy them time, she leaves following Gil.

The prince of Obsidian has blocked the baron's way. He did it so deftly, as if he knew the layout of the castle.

The baron is confused. What are they doing here?

Gilbert: Miss Bunny wants to talk to you.

MC tries to appeal to the Baron's conscience.

The aristocrat was a talkative one and gladly agreed to the conversation.

For him, selling children is just business. They should be grateful to have shelter, food and clothing.

A person's value is determined by their birth, by the conditions of their birth.

Baron: In a way, I am charitable because I help these people who have no social status.

After chatting some more, the Baron remembers that he is a criminal and it's time to run away.

He asks to get out of the way, but the heroine refuses.

The Baron pulls out his sword.

Gilbert turns on the mode: "Berserk".

Gilbert: Hey, whose permission are you asking for to touch Miss Bunny?

The cane plunges into the baron's body. He falls. Gil then stomps on the aristocrat's body.

Gilbert: No good. Miss Bunny is my prey.

No one but the prince can hurt her.

Gilbert: "Those of rank have the right to do as they please with those beneath them," right?

Gilbert: Is that what you mean?

The Baron squirms in pain on the floor.

The prince "doesn't understand" why the outlaw has such a displeased face?

Gilbert: Because I have the right to oppress you, just as you oppressed a homeless orphan.

Gilbert: I am royalty and you are a third-class aristocrat. I should tell you the difference in status... right?

(.....Prince Gilbert looks angry.....)

He asks the heroine if he should kill the baron.

These words come off his lips as easily as the suggestion of eating a sweet together.

The criminal should be judged, not killed, that's what MC thinks.

Especially in Rhodolite, criminals are tried.

For Gil, it's a hassle. It's different in Obsidian. Gilbert and the royal family are the law.

The prince tells the baron that he was lucky to live in Rhodolite. In Obsidian he would be dead by now.

Gilbert: We don't need bad nobles defiling innocent children, right?

The Baron is unconscious.

There was no emotion in his red eyes.

It was as cold as Prince Gilbert's body temperature.

MС: ...Prince Gilbert is the same as the Baron.

MC: I mean the words about "those of high status have the right to do as they please with those beneath them."

Gilbert: Hmm... That's what the "imperial family" means.

MC: Your eyes... They don't see a person.

Gilbert smiles.

(There are no people in Prince Gilbert's world.)

(That's why you can't hesitate to "kill" children, and just as you can be kind to children.)

(...A beast in human form.)

Gilbert: Hmm... Do you despise me?

Gilbert: I don't care what you think of me.

Gilbert: I hate people.

Gilbert: I don't love anyone, so you should be careful, too.

Gilbert: Because I'm a beast that can kill you with a smile, right?

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

"Chevalier's Sanctuary"

MC reports on the situation.

Chevalier asks her if she knows another name for Obsidian.

MC: "Land of Ore and War"?

Chevalier: No... "Land of Corruption and Lies/The Land of Corruption and Deceit."

MC: It's not a very good country, is it?

Chevalier: That's just a rumor.

Chevalier: The actual internal situation is unknown. Obsidian is also a country with strict information control.

Well, in a country like Obsidian, it's not surprising, but still being a prince who doesn't like people is bad. That's what the girl was thinking. Chevalier read her thoughts.

Chevalier: I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Chevalier: I don't see the Patch on the Eye as a human being.

Chevalier: And for you, it should have been a beast to begin with, not a person. By admitting that, you're protecting yourself.

MC thinks that she herself is like Gilbert in that sense. She doesn't see him as human.

MC: I did a bad thing...

Chevalier: An enemy is an enemy.

The heroine thinks that if it hadn't been for Gilbert she would have been hurt. And she didn't even thank him.

Chevalier: You don't have to feel guilty. ....Even if I say so, it's useless.

Chevalier flicked her forehead, smiling.

Chevalier: You can use the palace kitchen as you like.

Chevalier: But still... "I hate people" doesn't sound like the words of someone who hates deceit.

MC would like to understand his words.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Gilbert's Masterlist

[cosmictuesdays]

Asked and Answered!

OC questions asked for my OC Benjamin House for @cannibalhellhound:

2) Who’s your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends? Her name's Harriet, and they met in the building's laundry room. He brought her leftover desserts from the restaurant where he worked, and his politeness won her over.

11) What was your inspiration for your OC? Wanting to write a story about robots, androids, and AI where they were invented by women, not men, and would be treated as children that were expected to grow up, not as perpetual adolescents. 23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire? He's very reliable, but he doesn't have a car, so you'd have to ask him for something else. 25) Are they the kind of person who can’t resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes? No. He's a capable singer, but he's not much for singing while doing the dishes.

26) What flower do you associate your OC with? Rosebushes, because those were planted outside the labs where the AI research that led to his existence took place. 30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn’t a question. I’m not asking. (How do they respond?) I'm not sure what this question's asking, so I'll say what Ben usually says when he meets someone: "Hi, my name's Ben. It's short for Benjamin but I'd like it if you called me Ben."

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 24

"Y/N, this is Dr. Robbins, our head of pediatric surgery. She's the very best at what she does, so she'll be working with me to treat Sydney," Dr. Shepherd says.

The doctor she's introducing me to is blonde and undeniably beautiful. She gives me a bright smile and shakes my hand, which I politely return. "Thank you for your help, Dr. Robbins."

"No need to thank me. I just want your daughter to get better." There's a brief pause before she claps her hands together with a cheery smile. "So, can I meet the little troublemaker now?"

I laugh and say yes, and the three of us walk into the hospital room where Flo is laughing with Syd.

"Syd, there's another doctor who wants to talk to you," I tell her.

Dr. Robbins crouches beside the bed and strikes up a conversation with Syd about all of her favorite things. Syd smiles brightly and gushes on and on. Flo watches with a smile as Syd talks about the time she tried to play electric guitar. Dr. Robbins and I share a small smile across the hospital bed. Flo's face changes slightly into something more neutral, and my eyebrows furrow. Maybe she's just tired.

After a few minutes, the two doctors and I walk back out into the hall to discuss the surgery.

"So...when are we gonna do this?" I ask nervously.

"I'd like to perform the surgery as soon as possible," Dr. Shepherd begins, "But I need time to prepare. So my plan is to do the surgery in three days."

I blow a heavy breath past my lips and nod. "Then three days it is. Will you be operating as well, Dr. Robbins?"

"Since it is such a delicate procedure, I will be there in case of any complications. But Dr. Shepherd is the lead surgeon."

"Okay." I nod again and clench my jaw repeatedly to try and remain calm, because this is actually happening right now.

"I'll go get someone started on the paperwork you need to fill out," Dr. Shepherd says before walking away.

Dr. Robbins sees my tense body and places her hands on my shoulders. She looks into both of my eyes and smiles warmly. "Dr. Shepherd is the best there is. We're gonna take good care of your daughter, Y/N."

"Thank you, Dr. Robbins," I smile gratefully.

"Call me Arizona. I have a feeling we'll be spending a lot of time together from now on." She winks semi-jokingly and rubs my arm one last time before walking away.

I sigh and walk back into the hospital room. When Flo sees me, she looks down at her phone, avoiding eye contact. I want to ask her about it, but not in front of Syd, so I don't say anything.

~

After signing the last form, I sigh and hand the clipboard back to Arizona. Syd is once again asleep, and Florence is sitting in the chair answering some emails on her laptop. Probably freaking talking to People Magazine or some shit.

"I've gotta ask," I begin, "why are you sitting here with me? I mean, I highly doubt hotshot doctors usually sit down while their patient's mom fills out paperwork."

I lean back in my chair and she watches the movement with a small smile before shrugging. "I just wanted to be here for you. I know this can be a lot. Especially for a single mom. I admire your strength through this, Y/N."

"Thank you, Arizona. For everything." She nods and grabs the paperwork, waving one last time before leaving the room.

"So you two are on a first name basis now?" Florence asks coldly without looking at me. There's a bite to her tone that I don't recognize.

"Well, yeah. It's not a big deal, Flo. What's got you so upset?"

"Nothing," she sighs. "Nevermind."

I know it's not 'nothing' but I let it slide. She might just be tired.

~

"I'm sorry. I don't wanna go, but I don't have a choice," Florence apologizes with a sincere frown.

"Don't apologize, Flo. You have to go do famous people stuff. It's okay. We'll be okay."

Standing out in the hall, we simply look at each other for a minute longer. It's like both of us are expecting the other person to make a move.

I go back into the hospital room after she leaves and I sit with Syd.

I know I shouldn't, but I end up scouring the internet for information on glioblastoma multiforme. Bile rises in my throat as I read through everything. There's one common theme in every piece of information I find: Death. It all leads to death.

That's what it feels like, at least. I sniffle and wipe away the tears, turning off my phone. When I look up, I realize that Syd is wide awake and watching me with tears in her eyes.

"Something's really wrong, isn't it?" she asks, catching me off guard. I hesitate and she asks again. "Am I gonna die?"

I choke on the air in my lungs and fight as hard as I can against the tears welling up in my eyes. A five-year-old should not be asking her mom if she's going to die. This isn't right. None of this is right. This isn't fucking okay.

"Baby...you're sick. I don't want to lie to you. You're pretty sick, but the doctors are gonna take care of you, okay? We'll get through this." I grab her hand and she cries, but I can tell she's trying to hold it in. "It's okay to cry, Sydney. This is scary. It's okay to let yourself feel things, even if it hurts."

"Mommy, I'm scared," she whimpers, the tears flowing freely. I climb into bed next to her and hold her as she cries.

"We'll be okay. It's you and me. We'll get through this."

We have to. We have to get through this.

~

The next day, Dr. Shepherd comes to check on Syd. Florence never came back yesterday because she got held up doing something with her manager. I was a little upset to find out she wasn't coming back, but I have to remember that this isn't her life and Syd isn't her kid. She has no obligation to be here.

While Dr. Shepherd checks on and talks to Syd, I speak to Arizona in the hallway. I'm leaning back against the wall and she's standing in front of me. I think she's trying to distract me from everything that's going on. From the hell that's crashing down around me.

It's a nice thought, but it doesn't work as well as Florence's hand in mine. Nothing does.

"I could really use some coffee," she groans. "Wanna join me? The hospital stuff sucks but there's a good coffee cart outside."

"Miss Fancy Peds Surgeon wants to get coffee with me? Interesting. No groundbreaking surgeries to perform?" I tease.

"Not at the moment, no. I can always make time for beautiful women." I laugh at her comment and blush from the attention, although I don't feel that way about her.

"Arizona-"

"Y/N," a smooth accent says coldly from beside us. I look over to see Florence standing there, a hard glare set in stone on her face. If looks could kill, Arizona would be the one needing a doctor. "Should I go?"

"Flo, no. Why would you leave?"

"Well it seems like you're kind of busy. Go get some coffee. I'll be back later." She turns on her heel and walks down the hall away from us, angry determination echoing from each of her steps.

"I'm sorry, I- I've gotta go. Rain check on the coffee?"

"Yeah, of course. Go," Arizona says kindly. I mouth a 'thank you' and take off after Florence down the hall.

"Flo, wait," I yell once I can see her again. She doesn't stop or turn around. "Florence!"

I catch up to her and grab her arm, forcing her to face me. "Where the hell are you going?"

"It's fine, Y/N. Just go get coffee with her. She seems nice." Her words aren't genuine, they're venomous. She honestly sounds like she wants to punch Arizona's teeth in.

"Flo, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Look, I get it, okay? We were never serious. You have every right to go on a date with whoever you want," she snaps, turning back around and beginning to walk away.

So that's what this is about. She's jealous. She's fucking jealous.

I grab her arm and pull her harshly into an empty hospital room, closing the door behind us. The only source of light is the faint light coming from the hall window with half-closed blinds. "I cannot believe you right now," I scoff.

"Me? What the hell did I do, huh?"

"You're overreacting, Flo!"

"I don't see how I'm the problem here! I thought we had something, Y/N!"

"You're not listening to me-"

"Maybe if you weren't off flirting with some hot doctor-"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," I mutter. I grab her by the waist of her jeans and yank her towards me. Her body crashes into mine at the same time I rest my hand on the back of her neck. I harshly pull her lips down to mine, finally feeling what it's like to kiss her.

For a second, she doesn't kiss back, likely because of the sudden shock of the kiss. But then she tangles her hands in my hair and desperately tries to pull me closer. She lets out a small moan as I squeeze her hip, and I slip my tongue into her mouth. Backing her up against the nearest surface, my hips roughly press against hers and we both moan at the contact.

I lift her up and set her on whatever we're leaning against, which I'm guessing is a bed. I grab her thighs and pull her body as close to mine as possible, desperate to make up for lost time. It's a messy tangle of heat, hands, tongues, and moans, but it's perfect.

I pull away with a gentle bite of her bottom lip, letting it go with a pop. "I don't want her, or anyone else. I want you, Flo. You should know that by now."

~

You could have anyone you want Why would you want to be with me? You know, I'm nothing special

Be with whoever you want I don't care, I don't care I don't wanna know

[rikki-roses]

Fluffy February Day 12: Discipline

SWTOR

Set during KOTFE

I spelled anaphylactic right the first try, go me lol

Soft TW for mention of health issues

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smell from the fancy cheese platter that Senya had managed to import (smuggled) from Zakuul hit Setra's nose two feet outside of Odessen's cantina, and she was forced to immediately turn away.

Her throat was already starting to itch.

Setra had exactly one allergy: dairy. It didn't matter what animal or which planet it came from, anything with dairy triggered the allergy. When she was younger, she could eat small amounts as long as she took allergy pills right before, which later turned into a bite or two followed by an epi-pen as the bites tried to send her into anaphylactic shock. Now days, she couldn't even taste any; the smell and proximity alone were enough to cause a reaction, with consumption being an almost-guaranteed death sentence even with said epi-pens.

Which was a problem when cheese was her absolute favorite food in the Galaxy, the stinkier the better. It took every ounce of discipline and Jedi training for her to walk away from the cantina and the tantalizing cheese platter, giving passerby a polite smile.

And so, she found herself wandering back to the Force Enclave, one of the only ones not attending the party that the platter had been smuggled ordered for. Setra didn't blame anyone; she wasn't sure how many people even knew she was allergic to dairy. It was unreasonable to expect the entire base to avoid dairy just for her, especially when Setra did have alternatives for most dairy products, minus the more exotic cheeses.

It was just as well; she got a bout of vertigo as she walked through the entrance to the Enclave, barely catching herself as she sat down hard. Paws, bless the nexu, immediately jumped into Work Mode and settled down behind Setra, giving her something to lean against as the room spun around her. Setra was suddenly glad she was alone; she still got embarrassed and awkward every time someone witnessed it, even those closest to her. Especially those closest to her.

After several minutes the vertigo settled just enough for Setra to shakily stand up and wobble over to a cushion placed against one of the wall; she sighed gratefully as she slid down the wall onto the cushion. She crossed her legs and got comfortable, Paws laying down close to her with his head on her lap. She closed her eyes as the room started to spin violently again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Lana who finally found her, a plate of dairy-free cheeses in hand as sympathy treat, guilty expression on her face. She sat down next to Setra and proffered the plate of food, which Setra took with an appreciative smile. She promptly started to eat them.

"How do they taste? They're among the cheeses that Senya was able to bring from Zakuul."

"Like sadness."

It didn't stop Setra from nearly inhaling them - cheese was cheese, and she wasn't going to be picky, even if fake cheese wasn't as good as the real thing. Lana chuckled as she watched.

"Good thing that isn't stopping you. I'll make sure those are set aside for you and our other lactose intolerant staff, then."

"Appreciate it."

"That being said, Senya will probably seek you out later to apologize; she wasn't aware of your allergy, it was sheer luck that the dairy-free cheeses were included. She also didn't know the platter would keep you out of the cantina completely."

Setra shrugged as she put down the plate in her lap, letting Paws lick the crumbs. "Why? I didn't exactly tell her. I don't want people tiptoeing around just to cater to me. when I'm the only one with an allergy this severe."

"Yes, but it's generally bad optics if one of our leaders no-shows a base-wide party because her allergies weren't considered; the cheeses could have been placed elsewhere, or saved for after you left the party. That being said, I do appreciate your discipline."

Setra humphed in response, and the two sat in companionable silence.

[fangirlstorycreator]

Hey Bestie 🖤 I wanted to ask if I could request a kk3 Terry scenario? Like we are really good friends, hanging out, having training sessions together and stuff. One night is an important event and he asks us if we would join him cause he finds those events boring and when he picks us up that night we are wearing a beautiful dress, our hair is done nicely and he is wearing a tuxedo and the little bowtie in his hair. We see each other dressed up for the first time and can't take our eyes off of each other. Maybe ending in some sweet, romantic stuff? Take your time as always Bestie, I just had to send this before I forget it 😬🖤 Love you 🤗

Of course bestie! I am more than happy to write this for you 🤗I hope you like it, love you too 💚💚💚

Ever since you'd known Terry, he was always a little ball of energy, especially at work. He was your friend for a long time before be offered you a sensei position at cobra kai, and now you were work colleagues, you were always getting closer and closer. He was always honest with you and confided in you when he was having a problem, and you were the same with him, you were inseparable. Even John could see how close we were, but you didnt care, you just adored Terry.

One evening as you were putting stuff away to lock up the dojo, Terry came wondering out of the office with a glum face. "What's up with you grumpy pants?" "Ah it's just, an old friend of mine has invited me to a celebratory event in the golden goddess hotel tomorow night" "The golden goddess hotel?! Well that's great Terry, why do you look sad about it?" "You know me Y/N, I'm not a big fan of places like that. Despite the money I have, the other rich people always act like snobs" "If you dont want to go Terry I dont think your friend is going to force you" "I know, I know. I will go because he has been there for me in that way before too, I was just....Y/N i was wondering if you'd like to go with me?"

"What you mean, drive you there and pick you up afterword?" "No, no Y/N. I want to know if you'd like to join me there as my plus one? You see every guest is allowed to bring one person with them, and I'd like you to come with me" "You really want me to come? What about John?" "I didnt want to ask him, I wanted to ask you" You could help but think that it wasnt really your kind of scene. "I'm not sure Terry, someone like me amongst rich, pompous people? I'm probably a commoner in their eyes" "Oh Y/N please dont say that, your not. No matter what anyone would think, they have no idea what an amazing person you are. Thats why I want you with me tomorow, your the only person who can make me feel happy and not out of place there. So? What do you say?"

You have a little think "If it will help you feel more comfortable Terry, yes I'll go with you" "Yes! Thank you Y/N" "So what should I where? Maybe a cute top and jeans?" He laughs at your suggestion, then rests his hands on your arms and says "Y/N, dont you worry about that, I have a plan". The next day, Terry was suposed to be picking you up outside your house about 10 in the morning, you see one of his cars pull up with a driver in the front, but when you open the back door, you see Margaret instead. "Oh? Hello Margaret, I was expecting Terry?" "Oh I know dear, come and take a seat and I will tell you what's going on" That's when during the car journey, Margaret explains that he has asked her to take you shopping with one of his cards to get yourself a beautiful dress for the evening. "He knew that if he came then you would politely decline like you always do when he offers to treat you, so he sent me to make sure you have a great shopping experience and actually buy a dress for tonight. So I'm afraid you have no choice but to get yourself a beautiful dress Y/N"

"I suppose your right about one thing, if he was hear I would have declined his money, but your not going to take no for an answer are you Margaret?" "Absolutely not my darling. Oh, it seems we have arrived. Oh and by the way, there is more money on this card that I can even count, so dont worry about the price, and Mr Silver also said if we both want to get out hair done too then we can" So Margaret takes you into one of the best dress shops I'm town, one you could never afford normally, and you have a little look around. Some dont suit your figure or skin tone, and there are some that look just plain awful. Until, out of the corner of your eye, you spot a dress hanging up on the other side of the shop that looked beautiful.

You decide to take one in your size and try it on in the changing rooms, and when you had it on, you walked outside to show Margaret. It was a bodycon dress with a slit on the lower side, so as you wear it, one of your legs and slightly lower thigh is out and showing off. It was a beautiful mixture of black and gold and instead of straps around your shoulders, the sleeves were against the outside of your upper arms, showing off your shoulders. And the upper part of the dress really accentuated your breats, showing off your hourglass figure. "Oh my Y/N, you look amazing" "Margaret, I think we have a winner" You bought the dress there and then, and once you had finished you both popped into a hair salon not far from the dress shop. They made your hair look beautiful, and you made sure on your way home not to do anything that would change it.

Later on that night your at your friends house getting ready, your make up is done, and your hair is still perfect as you pull on your dress. You wear a strapless bra so you can see your shoulders, and you pop on a beautiful silver necklace that very nearly sits inbetween your cleavage. The door bell rings and your friends answers it. "Y/N, Terry's hear!" "I'm on my way down!" You take one last look in the mirror before leaving the bedroom, and that's when you slowly start walking down the staircase. Terry is at the bottom as he sees you walking down, the dress, the hair, the makeup...it leaves him speechless. You can see he is wearing his tuxedo and a cute little white bow in his ponytail, he looks amazing. You reach the bottom of the stairs and say "Wow Terry, you look very handsome tonight"

Terry is still a little speechless at the sight of you, he cant stop smiling and watching you, but he shakes himself out of it, reaches for your hand and says "Y/N you look....impossibly beautiful" then he kisses the back of your hand, instantly making you blush. You both get into his limo and your on your way to the celebratory evening. As you both enter the golden goddess hotel, it looks absolutely beautiful, you cant get over how pretty and expensive everything looks in there. Everyone is told to mingle in the main hall, and that's even more bright and shiny. Terry gets you a glass of champagne before you both head over to his friend who invited him. "Ah Terry so good of you to come old pal. And uhh, who is this exquisite lady on your arm?"

"Mathew, this is my bestfriend and work colleague Y/N" You hold you hand out to shake his hand and he reciprocated. "Its a pleasure to meet you Mathew" "Likewise Y/N. My goodness Terry how did you ever manage to get yourself a bestfriend as gorgeous as this?" "I am just a very lucky man Mathew" he says before giving you a smile. But the nice words arent there for long, that's when a man and one woman walk over to you all, and they look very judging. "Good evening Terry, Mathew" "Hello Robert, may I introduce you too my best-" "Eh not really Terry, I'd much rather discuss some business with you" You were a little taken back by this, but it wasnt like you weren't expecting something like this during the evening, just not so quickly.

"Uhh Robert, that's very rude. My bestfriend hear is a guest and I'd like to introduce her" "Why would I want to talk to a commoner Terry?" The snooty woman deside him agrees "Yes, I'm surprised you brought someone of her type into this kind of establishment. No offence deary but we can sence someone of the lower classes from a mile off" You try to keep your composure. "How dare you speak to Y/N like that, she is the most wonderful, kind hearted person I have ever known!" "Oh that may be the case Terry, but we still do not wish to mingle with someone of her class. So? Shall we leave her and all get another drink?" Terry looks like hes about to charge at this woman, but before he does, you rest your hand against his chest to stop him.

"Its alright Terry, I've got this. Well if everyone is being honest hear tonight, I'd just like to say that maybe I wouldn't want to mingle with someone of YOUR class" "I beg your pardon? Anyone like you should be honoured to even speak to someone like me" "Yeh you say that, but why would I be honoured to be talking to someone who is rude, arrogant, self obsessed, patronising and as impossibly irritating as someone like you?" They all look at you in complete shock ,apart from Terry, who is just admiring you. "So? I'm going to take my drink and have a look around now. And maybe while I do that, you can try to learn the meaning of the word 'manners' and if you dont , then I am more than happy to teach you. Now, if you'll excuse me" you say before sipping your champagne and walking away from them.

Terry smirks at them and follows you out to where you stand on the open balcony, just looking up at the stars. "Oh my god Y/N that was brilliant! For so long I have wanted to do what you just did to them but I never had the guts! Your amazing!" "Well I wouldn't say amazing Terry, all I did was put them back in there place" "But it was awesome!" "I'm surprised you feel that way Terry" "What? What do you mean?" You turn to face him so you can talk to him properly. "I wasnt expecting you to be happy, I was expecting you to be angry" "Angry? What on earth would make you think that?" "Think about it Terry, your just as rich as most of the people in hear and just as important too. And I made an idiot of myself infront of all of them, i didnt want to-" "Hey hey Y/N just hold on there for a moment"

He stands infront of you, resting his hands on your arms as he looks right into your eyes. "Just because I have money doesn't mean I am anything like these people, and I never want to be. I like who I am, and I like who am with you. I loved the way you spoke to them, and I would love more than anything to see it again!" You chuckle before looking to the ground, but Terry smiles and lifts your chin up to look at him again, as his voice gets softer. "I don't want you to ever feel bad about standing up for yourself, it shows courage, and I'm glad I invited you hear with me tonight. Your courage in that room...its just one of the many things I admire about you Y/N. Your the strongest, most kind hearted and incredibly beautiful woman I have ever known....and just having you hear with me, is like a wish that finaly came true"

That was the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone has ever said to you and you cant belive it was Terry of all people saying it. There was no talking , just silence as you both look into eachothers eyes, tention slowly building. His hand rests gently against your cheek, and his thumb moves over your bottom lip in a feather like touch, then he leans down and slowly presses his lips against yours. It was so soft, so slow and yet it was an incredible kiss. His lips felt amazing as they touched yours and his tounge delicately teased yours as the kiss continued. Slowly pulling away from you, his hand still resting against your cheek, your eyes start to open as you look up at him. "How long were you waiting to do that Terry?" "Too long Y/N, too long. Come on, let's get out of hear" "You want to leave? But what about the celebration evening?" "I now have access to those perfect soft lips of yours Y/N, and I intend to take my sweet time, enjoying them....now come on, let's get back to my place" "With pleasure Terry..."

[musical-chick-13]

Barbie Movie = White feminism

I do genuinely get what this movie was going for. And I think what it was going for is genuinely admirable: the idea that, as a woman, even if you do everything """right""" according to prejudiced society, if you are thin and white and young and stereotypically pretty and personable and not intimidating, you will still suffer the effects of misogyny. No woman is immune.

However, I think that message got...muddied. This is probably going to get really long, so I'll put the rest under a cut.

The narrative focus is on how different the Real World is from Barbie Land regarding the treatment of women, but in Barbie Land, there are WOC in positions of political power. Racism and transphobia don't seem to exist (at least, not in any way that we see). These things, as we know, do exist in the real world, so if the intention is to highlight the disparity between locations, the fact that other forms of prejudice are never even MENTIONED is a little odd. I don't think this was done with malicious intent, but as you said, the discussion of feminism in this movie is...very white.

Especially since our female co-lead is a Latina woman. She gives a very vulnerable, deeply personal account of what it's like living in the world as a woman and all the angles of oppression she faces for that (something so emotionally weighty it is the key to the plot's resolution), and there is...zero discussion in any of that about what life is like for her as a woman of color, or any of the expectations that are placed on her because of that. If Gloria's experiences with misogyny are so integral to the movie's themes and to her relationship to the world at large, why not include...anything about racism or racial identity?

I also feel like there's just...a very simplistic view of how the patriarchy works. Which, no, you can't break down the intricacies of an entire oppressive social system in the space of a two hour movie. But to suggest that just...acknowledging? Misogyny? Is enough to successfully fight back against it is...the most charitable thing I can call that is "overly-optimistic."

(Like. Trust me. We're aware of the expectations placed on us as women and how much those suck. We can't "rob the patriarchy of its power" just by talking about the patriarchy.)

And the idea that...just coming into contact with patriarchal ideas will completely brainwash you? I get that everything is exaggerated in Barbie Land and that it's not a one-to-one representation of real life, but that sat...weirdly. With me. Yeah, people are absolutely going to internalize some negative or inaccurate things about women by virtue of living in a patriarchal system, but plenty of women (as well as people of other genders) go through life without falling all the way down the misogyny rabbit hole. Outside of Stereotypical Barbie and Weird Barbie (who both had plot reasons for being "immune"), this was every woman. To the most extreme degree. And, again, I just...kind of question why. What is the implication supposed to be here? Are women inherently comically-susceptible to propaganda? Is it impossible for them to de-internalize misogynistic ideas of their own accord, to the point where someone else who is miraculously free of misogyny needs to "debug" them? The optics of this confuse me a little bit.

And there's some other stuff, too, that fell flat for me. Barbie Land is supposed to be a place where the men are treated like women are treated in real life, but we don't...really see that until much later in the movie, when they talk about how the Kens don't have places to stay and have no political representation. (And, sorry, but the solution to "the Kens have no home" is not "the Barbies need to let them stay with them." It's "build the Kens their own homes and make them accessible." You are entitled to safe and secure housing by virtue of being a person. You are not entitled to sharing housing with someone you're romantically interested in.) And the way that Barbie handles her unwanted relationship with Ken is...pretty much exactly the way women try to navigate unwanted advances from men in real life: avoiding explicitly romantic activities by saying she has social obligations, keeping a physical distance in the hope that he'll give up on trying to kiss her, making her annoyance as clear as she can in the hopes that he'll take the hint and leave her to her own devices. Women in real life do these kinds of things to avoid actively rejecting men (because sometimes actively rejecting them means they hurt us, or worse) and although Barbie's behavior isn't done as a defense against potential misogynistic violence, she's still acting in exactly the same way in exactly the same context as people who do have that fear. Ken is the one instigating this relationship, and Ken is the one who keeps trying to reestablish the relationship's boundaries. So even in the face of all of this, the specific takeaway is supposed to be, "The solution to oppression is not to make men oppressed the way that women are because look how equally horrible it is." But between the way Barbie and Ken's relationship is framed and the lack of specificity in how the Kens are treated, we don't actually have a consistent depiction of men being oppressed in the way that women are, which throws that whole message off.

But mostly...maybe this is just a me thing, but I question why we need a story about how It Would Also Be Bad If There Was A Matriarchy. We can barely even get people to discuss the misogyny that currently exists and admit that it's still a problem; we are not in danger of replacing the current system with the inverse by Going Too Far In The Other Direction, not any time soon. I just don't think that discussion is valuable right now because there's no chance of that outcome--of elevating women so much they become Oppressors Of Men--even happening. (Note: I am aware that some r*df*ms/t__fs are VERY much pro-subjugating-men-because-they're-inherently-evil, they are the minority, the general population is not anywhere NEAR that point of view.)

There were some really good things in this movie. America Ferrerra's monologue about how no matter which way you live as a woman, you're "doing it wrong" was incredibly true and incredibly relevant. The Mattel executive being SO insistent that he Loves Women but has exactly zero of them on his board. The fact that the Ken Movie sold out in-universe and made a bunch of money pre-release just because it was about a man. Making fun of the "Just take a girl's glasses off, then she's Pretty™" trope. THE DEPRESSION BARBIE WITH PANIC-ATTACK BARBIE SOLD SEPARATELY. I laughed a lot and there were a lot of genuinely emotionally-resonant moments, including from the standpoint of "Oh hey, I see/suffer from this type of misogyny too!" But I don't think this movie was saying anything particularly new or profound about feminism. Which it's okay if a movie isn't profound! I like plenty of things that exist just to be fun or enjoyable! But I got the feeling this movie was trying to be profound and make some sort of grand, revolutionary statement. And even if it wasn't, a lot of people are acting like it's the key to solving sexism and I just don't think that's merited.

[kalinara]

I'm starting to get a little obsessed with Rings of Power, I have to admit. I'm not entirely sure why - perhaps I just really have a need to rejoin a fandom that is full of hyper-pedantic purists who nit-pick endlessly over contradicting canon material, racist "historians" who apparently never heard of the Moorish invasion, Mongol invasion, the Silk Road, or any of a thousand other reasons why actual historical people of color might have ended up in medieval Europe, and the usual victim-blaming villain apologists. (I won't lie, I also think the Feanorians are pretty compelling. I draw the line at blaming the invaded people for not wanting to hand the magic rock over to repeated mass murderers though.)

Eh, maybe I'll stick to my own corner. There's some good fic out there though.

These are my initial observations from the first episode:

1. There's more indirect Silmarillion references than I expected. From fan reaction, I thought they were scrapping the entire thing. But it seems like most of Elrond's fucked up backstory is intact. Or at least not contradicted. (I think there's even a Feanor namedrop in a later episode?)

2. Galadriel is so pretty, OMG. And her armor doesn't have boobs!

3. Elrond is adorable. Of all the fannish complaints, I have the most sympathy for the one about Elrond having Steve Harrington hair. I feel like it might be a character beat though. They seem to be leaning a bit into the idea of the Peredhel being not quite accepted in general elf society, so maybe that's meant to be a tiny little rebellion?

3b. The idea of the Peredhel not being particularly accepted does seem like a deviation from the Silmarillion, but then that was pretty broad strokes. We know EVENTUALLY Gil-galad and Elrond will be homoerotically joined at the hip, but it might take a while to get there.

3c. I would like him to grow it out eventually though. The current look doesn't suit his face. I think something longer and pinned back a bit might work better with those angles.

3d. The idea of Elrond not being an "elf lord" seems particularly offensive given the poor guy is arguably the heir of every elf kingdom under the sun. Then again, none of those elf kingdoms actually exist anymore. Except the one Gil-galad's running. But I actually really like the poor put-upon clerk with quiet ambitions aspect of his character. It's pretty rare to see open ambition treated as, if not a positive trait, then a neutral one.

I feel like there's this thing, in popular western media, where we adore the wise and powerful figures - the wise king, if you will, but we don't like the idea of someone actually wanting and trying to achieve that role. The only good powerful person, we say, is the one that doesn't want it. They get it by chance, by birthright, by being in the right place at the right time. Even if they "earn" it, it's generally by doing something heroic, completely unrelated to governing people or dealing with politics. THOSE sorts are almost invariably the Wrong Choice.

But what if you want to enact real, positive change? What if you want to protect people or take care of people? How do you do that, if you're not in a position of power? How do you get power, when you're not really allowed to want it?

(I might be projecting too many good motives onto my historically favorite character, but I have future canon knowledge that he does a pretty decent job when he actually IS in charge of shit, so there you go.)

4. I love that Galadriel and Elrond look like they're the same height. Google tells me he's 6', and she's 5'4". I'd never have guessed. Nice camera work. Or phenomenal job at hiding the stilts.

5. I love that elf aging seems to be completely arbitrary. Elrond and Galadriel look like babies. Gil-galad looks middle-aged*, while Celebrimbor...well, I guess being only non-murderous Feanorian is really stressful?

5b. It hurts me to say that as Gil-galad's actor is maybe a year older than I am. But alas, that's life.

5c. Celebrimbor also has short hair. Maybe it's a Feanorian thing? That'd be kind of interesting. Did Tolkien ever specifically SAY they had long hair?

6. I have no idea who Arondir is. It's probably worth noting that I haven't read the Silmarillion since college, which might explain why I'm not really nitpicking anything. Whether he's one of the umpteen tragic elves from that book, or a canon newcomer, I don't care. I want to keep him.

6b. I'd like to see that elf who said that there were only two elven-human marriages and they ended in death and despair to say that to Elrond's face. Wait, no. I think he might cry. Say that to Idril Celebrindal. I fucking dare you. (Tuor would absolutely hold her flowers.)

7. I wasn't expecting the hobbits. No one mentioned the hobbits.

8. Also, no idea what the Southlands are, but it's an interesting story beat. From an average human perspective, what makes one powerful overlord better than another? Especially given some of the shit the good-guy elves got up to over the years.

9. Everything looks really pretty and nothing's really happening yet, but this is Tolkien. I sat through the extended editions of the movies (...might have fallen asleep at one point, but that's between me and the Professor), I can wait a few episodes before things start to happen.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing the next one.

[kradogsrats]

i am also very normal about chess the musical, pls elaborate on ur lissa feelings (also what is ur favorite recording)

-🏠

I am a basic bitch so my fav is the 2008 Chess in Concert recording with Idina Menzel, which I have definitely watched like... at least 50 times. BUT the Swedish version with Helen Sjöholm and Tommy Körberg also goes extremely hard and anyone who hasn't seen that equivalent of "Nobody's Side" should treat themselves.

ANYWAY like it's really that the entire concept of love in it is that it comes with an expiration date: you hold on to what you have now as best you can, because it will eventually be lost. Even what's ostensibly the "falling in love" song (Heaven Help My Heart) is the most bittersweet possible take on the "rewards of being loved/mortifying ordeal of being known" dichotomy. It's both fatalistic and hopeful: "I love you completely and hope I always will" vs. "where there's truth there will be lies." None of that loss is even anyone's fault, it's simply a thing that happens. (There's some thematic layers in there regarding individuals vs. inexorable forces that I'll let lie.)

But that's all very representative of Lissa to me, that love changes and that's a thing to be expected. Sometimes that change means things have to end, but not always. I don't love my spouse in the same way I did when I was 20 or 25. I still love them just as much... but differently than I did. I'm a different person, and so are they. Lissa loves Viren until she can't, anymore.

Like, probably the character I relate her most to would be Svetlana, and the tragedy of Svetlana is that she no longer loves Anatoly, and in fact she wants to leave him, but in order to get the freedom to do that she's required to convince him to return to their marriage. I wonder a lot about what happens to her, after the ending... Anatoly returns to Russia, but does she leave him? Is she able to take her children with her? (An interesting question since "Someone Else's Story" doesn't reference her children at all, only the desire to leave Anatoly and the possibility of finding love elsewhere. If she wasn't able to take her children, would she still leave? Probably not in 1988, but otherwise?) Does Molokov follow through on the promise of "the life you want, and anywhere you want it" because Anatoly returned? Probably not since he didn't lose, and also Molokov is a dick.

(Side note: the new book production that I saw in 2018 that's much more political went super dark on being explicit that Svetlana at least believes that if she fails, she will be killed... either executed outright, or disappeared to a prison/work camp to die. So y'know, there's that.)

SO YEAH IDK that wasn't very coherent, it's just that Lissa is kind of emblematic to me of a more complex and pragmatic view of love, that it's always a risk (but a risk worth taking) and there really never is a happy ending, just change and mistakes and growing, which sometimes means growing apart.

[spectre-writes]

Why you should read 'The Witch and the Beast' manga by Kousuke Satake

Alrighty folks, time to talk about this manga:

Looking at the covers, you're probably thinking ‘oh, this is some cute paranormal romance kinda thing, right?’ Well, that where you’re wrong… this manga is a hell of a lot more action packed and filled with horror than you’re thinking, and while there’s certainly a degree of… ‘something’ going on, it’s subtle, it’s complicated, and it’s anyone’s guess where it’s going. 

Heads up that there will be a few spoilers in this. I'll start off by dropping some fight scene panels so you know I'm not fibbing about how action packed this manga is:

This is a dark fantasy where the world is one filled with magic, where witches are considered the biggest threat, and have a reputation as being evil (which while not all are, there are some super bad ones out there). Basic plot is about our two main characters taking on witches.

So, who are our main characters? Well, first off we have Ashaf. He’s a mage working for ‘the order of magical resonance’, which specializes in dealing with magical problems/threats. He’s polite, calm and collected, and acts like everything is going to plan (even when it very much isn’t). Carries around a coffin and has crow familiars so a treat for you goths out there. His motives are… ambiguous but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Our second character is Guideau, someone who is violent, fowl mouthed, rash and… pretty much Ashaf’s complete opposite. But she’s agreed to work with him and the order. Why? Well, she’s been cursed by a witch, and needs to find that witch to break the curse… What curse you ask? Well… minor spoilers, but that’s not Guideau’s actual body… Guideau’s actual body is a beast of world destructive power that looks like this:

Yep, that’s right. Massive non-bindary/genderfluid energy there… my personal interpretation is non-binary in a sort of ‘whatever pronouns are most convenient go, but idgaf I just wanna kill that witch’ way, based on the fact Guideau never objects to anyone using female pronouns or male pronouns or states their gender. 

In fact, this whole manga has massive queer vibes… As well as another character later on who plays fast and loose with gender roles, there’s a way to temporarily break a witch’s curse (giving Guideau access to his original body), wanna know what it is? You have to kiss a witch… so yeah, we get scenes like this:

I really wasn’t expecting this and personally this whole aspect of the manga was a treat, though I get that might not be a factor for everyone.

There are some great side characters too, my personally favourite being a necromancer and her servant. She’s very sympathetic/kind to the dead and believes in treating them with respect, which is refreshing to see.

Now, Ashaf and Guideau… it’s complicated. Guideau’s motive is simply to find a way to remove her curse by locating the witch that cursed her, and that’s the only reason she agreed to work with Ashaf. As for Ashaf… well, he says their interests align, and I’d say he definitely has some stake in this, but there’s definitely some stuff he’s keeping quiet about and that’s something we’re going to slowly have to unravel. But I think it’s fair to say they’re growing closer, the question is… where exactly is that leading? I genuinely don’t know and that’s part of what I’m enjoying the most, I pretty much never get invested in stuff like this but I'm hooked. Big spoilers ahead but look at these panels and tell me you’re not intrigued…

Now, as for the world building… I really love how mages write to cast, it’s a nice little detail, and I enjoyed learning about how necromancy functions in this world. The witches also seem to have quite varied powers, which can make their fights seem more unique and means you don’t always know what to expect from them (unless you know their lineage). There’s vampires too if that’s your thing, elementals, and who knows what else going forward. I’m curious to learn more about ‘the order of magical resonance’, there’s definitely some mystery there too… Solid stuff on the whole.

I just… really love this series, and I’d love more people to give it a try too. My only warning is there is some gore, so if that’s an issue for you unfortunately you might have to give this one a pass. Otherwise, please give it a shot! It deserves attention.

[goddessserena0]

"I forgot that was a thing that happened to me. I'm sure that I could handle anything they throw at me."

"Are you sure, those things that almost ate you when we first arrived were demons."

You think back those demons and a shiver goes up your spine, "I had forgotten about those. But, with training I'll be taking them out like Astrom does."

Chaldra chuckles, "Well, you've certainly got the confidence for this sort of thing. So, where to next?"

You think for a moment, then get an idea and turn to Riza, "Riza, can I see where you work?"

"Do you mean my shop?" Riza asks.

"No, where you do goddess work."

Riza looks disappointed but guides you toward the light domain.

The light domain is far brighter than the rest of Spiritan. It felt as someone had pointed a bright spotlight on the whole area. You follow Riza to the main office where she works and to her office. Inside there is someone sitting at the desk, they look up as the two of you enter.

"Ah, Miss Riza, welcome back, I wasn't expecting you back so soon." They were incredibly formal, practically the opposite of Riza. They had blonde hair which well very well kept. They wore a serious expression and stood almost how a butler would when awaiting an order. Their clothing was also formal yet somehow casual.

Riza smiles at them, "Hello Lucian, I'm actually here because Frisken wanted to see my office." She gestures toward you so they could see you. You wave slightly to be polite.

Lucian bows their head slightly, "Hello Frisken, I hope that you are enjoying your time in Spiritan. I am Lucian, Miss Riza's lieutenant."

"Lieutenant?" You ask.

"Yes, every goddess chooses someone from their corp to become second in command. The lieutenant takes care of business while the goddess cannot and should the current God or goddess die without choosing a successor then the lieutenant takes the title."

"So you are someone important, just like Riza."

They smile slightly, "Yes, I suppose that I am."

"Lucian, while I'm here, is there anything that I should be mad aware of?"

"Actually, there is something, I was going to handle it myself, but you would make things easier."

"What is it?"

"I'm sure that you remember that group of clerics we sent to Ertos to assist the Torvens and Sendras?"

"Yes, Mora specifically requested we send some as there were new types of deamons appearing and they wanted the extra help."

"Yes, well, according to reports they have suffered major injuries and are currently being treated in Ertos. They have requested that we send more help."

"I'll take a few clerics and go help where needed, I'm sure that my abilities will make things easier."

"Very well, I will have a group gather at the gate." With that Lucian leaves.

You have so many questions but start with one, "Riza, what's Ertos?"

"Ertos is a world connected to our own, people are able to freely travel between them. I'm going there for some time so I will need you to stay with someone."