#like. he's NOT the 'abusive older brother in a teen movie' trope. but in another life he was.

[allgremlinart]

Zuko is a mostly realistic yet... strange depiction of the angry teenage boy character because like he's 90% punching holes in the drywall and making himself as big and loud as possible and being violent and hateful and everything you'd be right to be scared of but then the other 10% he is throwing himself to his knees and making himself as penitent as possible and begging for absolution and putting his forehead to the ground and its to the point that its absoLUTELY weird, and there's really hardly any times he settles between these two extremes. or if he does its always relatively short lived, and he rockets back to either or both of these antipodes.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 4 

it’s my birthday week! *raises a glass of pink milk* 

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 4 - oh noes my babies are all so sad! Teen angst for the win. Tropes included: crying in shower, a very significant hand hold, & striped shirts. (At this point over half the cast has been in stripes.) 

Love Machine Ep 1 - not gonna lie, I barely made it through the first half, this is a short run LOW budget experimental web series and it’s not good. Dropped.  

Lovely Writer Ep 9 - I like it when LW gets serious because there are fewer dumb sound effects, but oof Aey, poor baby. How many Aeys have I known over the years? Rejected, broken, angry, lonely, and lashing out. On a different note, I haven’t see the “sex drug made us do it” plot device since 1980s Johanna Lindsey. Props to that cocktail rearing its ugly head. (yeh yeh) ZOMBIE TROPE ALERT. (Is this the point where I remind the world at a-play doesn’t have to hurt? Well, it doesn’t! Toys, prep, and lube people. Sheesh.) Anygay, zombie trope is put safely back underground. Please don’t let it rise again? (I KNOW, I’ll stop now.) So this was a rough episode, especially the back end. (Okay now I’ll REALLY stop.)  Seriously tho, BL doesn’t do a massive coming out family drama scene often. I liked LW’s handling of this one. Hard to watch but compelling. 

Close Friend Ep 1 (OhmFluke) - very cute snapshot into a LTR featuring an overworked music producer and his student BF. That’s the chassis for this whole series, each one has to do with the song & is a portrayal of that song’s message. Essentially, the theme of this one was remembering to make time for your partner. I enjoyed that. OhmFluke gave us easy casual familiar affection and a kiss, but no BL tropes, just romance. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 3 - Pi is a total spazz & the ghost story bit was... well, it was something wasn’t it? Lots of tropes: fixing his clothes, wound tending, drag baby around, piggyback, head in lap, hand hold, and ending on a drunk kiss. I just noticed Pi uses guu/mueng with Mork, but Mork’s a year older. (So I have a new entry onto the linguistic brats list.)  So rude and presumptuous. Also I gotta say this, don’t wear watches when you’re working on a cadaver, mmky boys? 

Y-Destiny Ep 4 - look MaxNat have great chemistry, this ep had loads of great tropes (e.g. cheek kiss, rooftop, public claiming via phone), it’s not their fault I’m just not wild about these characters. I do like Nuea’s wanna-be idol wardrobe though. And Sun is sporting the red bag version of Tharn’s black bag that I wanted so bad in TT2. (I wonder if I can score a knock off when I’m over there?) Regardless, I basically grinned all the way through this installment, so that’s another thumbs up from me for Y-Destiny. Who knew I’d come around? Man would I love to see these two get their own series. 

Brothers Ep 12 - teacher/student exposed! But the power of boys on phones will overcome all. No KhunKaow for me, so of course I found this ep tragically disappointing. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 6 - MuRen is officially a yaoi manga character in the flesh. H4′s outright mockery/subversion of tropes “don’t touch him he’s mine,” + “touch my lip & think of kissing” makes the fact that other (way more damaging) tropes are being blithely utilized without critique almost - dare i say it? - insulting. YongJie is trash but I’m the one who feels like trash because I want to forgive him. How aptly abusive & dysfunctional we all are. I don’t know whether to applaud H4 or start drinking. (Maybe this is the show I should invent a cocktail for? Who am I kidding? This is totally a jello shots show.) 

Friend or Lover (Taiwan) Ep 2 - I thought this was only a microfilm but turns out it’s a web series. It’s cute. I’m enjoying it. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 3 - subs take a while to drop but it’s still better than average. I like a secret identity trope, I love a grumpy/sunshine pairing, and the side couple is great but this ep was slow. With only 6 total (I assume) they better get the main couple together next ep or the improved quality of this series will be sacrificed on the alter of pacing issues. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 28-30 - slowed down to focus on bad guys (yawn...ooo Scorpion...yawn again). Then baby gets kidnapped, other baby goes crazy, and old friends turn up. We end on DOOM because mathematically this was an episode 11. All boxes checked.

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 3-4 - how is this show SO DAMN CUTE & weirdly wholesome at the same time? Another one of those: Will Korea resolve this satisfactorily in 4 short eps? But I seem to say that half way through every Korean BL. These days, I have complete faith. Warm fuzzies for everyone. 

Stand Alones

Color Rush movie is the same as the series. There is a stinger at the VERY end (untranslated) but which I’m assuming has something to do with the missing mother. Is this a possible indication of a 2nd season? Hopefully someone will eng sub the stinger and post it out into the universe. So yeah, Color Rush movie = To My Star style, sadly, not Wish You. That said, I did enjoy watching with different subs. The first version I watched was fan subbed, and they were better on English colloquialisms. Viki’s subs are better on Korean colloquialisms. 

Breaking News 

Bunch of new press on Thailand’s I Told the Sunset About You 2 AKA I Promised You the Moon. Here’s a master post on the subject with all the links you could ever want. It will start airing May 27th 8 pm (Thai time) on LINETV.

New Thai Bl Golden Blood got a teaser trailer. Stars familiar side dish Gun Napat (Techno from LBC) as a rich kid who needs a bodyguard. Yeah, it looks to be the Thai version of Where Your Eyes Linger which is FINE. I love me a bodyguard romance. DO EETTT Thailand. Trailer contains ALL the tropes: dry his hair, piggyback, cooking together, and more, plus good smooches. It looks GREAT. Also cheeper to make then KinPorsche and it might get funded due to of residual enthusiasm. Also GOOD TITLE. 

Close Friend got another teaser trailer this one for Talay & Yoon (no subs). 

Taiwan has a new BL coming out... eventually. Looks to be a new franchise like the HIStory series with different couple(s) each season. It’s the first Taiwanese BL from a major in-country network. The first installment is titled Be Loved in House: I Do (seriously Taiwan, could we talk about your titles?). It stars a familiar face, Aaron Lai from HIStory: My Hero. It’s a grumpy/tsundere boss/employee office-set BL with some forced proximity to push them together. (Nods to Japan.) No release date, but (unlike Thailand) Taiwan usually doesn’t make announcements without content & serious intent. 

Gossip 

Taiwanese BL NOVEL Miracle dropped a trailer, no subs or translation. According to YouTube comments it was supposed to be part of HIStory3 but MODC took on its slot. Still it’s kinda fun to see what might have been.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something. 

[akwardlyuncool]

The Ultimate Playlist Of Noise (2021) - Review

CW: This movie discusses suicide and suicidal-ideation. 

Marcus Lund (Keean Johnson) was known for making the ultimate playlist, for everything. Music and just sound in general was his thing, that was until one day at a concert he had a seizure and they found he had a tumor in his brain. Although benign, it still had to be operated on, which would cause him to lose his hearing and everything he thinks he’s ever known about the world. Upon hearing the diagnosis, Marcus decides to set off on a road trip to New York to listen to his brother one more time and to along the way, make “The Ultimate Playlist Of Noise.”

I finally had the energy to watch something new and since I’ve had this movie pinned in my Hulu library or whatever it’s called since it came out in January of last year I believe, I thought this might be a solid choice.

As a person who has a thing for making playlists and mixes, I knew from jump that this would kind of speak to me. The fact that it’s also in the “Coming-Of-Age-Teen Drama” category didn’t hurt either. It depends on how you want to take it, but I’m not so sure this one is a romance story, even though that’s what seems to be implied. The cover doesn’t have to have a kiss on it for that assumption to be made because most of these films have that as their baseline. To me this movie was really about finding yourself when you believe you’re losing it, there just happens to be a girl you’re attracted to in the passenger seat while you take that journey. It was also about family and friendship and so many other things, so if you’re looking for strictly a YA Romance, this might not be the one for you.

Again, it was a solid pick. It did activate the tear ducts at one point, so if that’s a sway-er than you should be sold. I enjoyed it and wouldn’t mind watching it again. There are some heavy moments in it for sure, however I don’t believe you’re going to feel weighed down by this one at the end of it, you actually might feel kinda light.

.

.

.

Side Conversation For Those Who Have Seen The Movie (Spoiler Free):

How old is Wendy? How old is Wendy’s abusive boyfriend? How old is Marcus? The boyfriend, from the minute and a half he was on screen, seemed like he was in his late 20′s at best, but more realistically in his 30′s. I just question because although Marcus is a high school senior, this feels like another story where ages are blurred to get people to not focus on them, but that can be a little difficult, especially when some characters look 10 years older. I’m not saying that Wendy is wildly older and that her and Marcus’s interactions were inappropriate, I just wonder who she is. It’s very common for Hollywood to make the girl/woman young, but also wild and running around on her own. I didn’t want to rush out and call her a Manic-Pixie-Dream-Girl, cause that feels reductive of who she is overall, I’d just like backstory, please and thank you. She’s obviously running away from something/to something, but even when you try to avoid the trope as best you can, you still often end up hitting the ice berg at some point. All that being said, Wendy is still trying to find herself as well and that shouldn’t be discredited.

Also I put this as a side conversation because it wasn’t something I hyper focused on or felt was a main takeaway, it was just something I saw/thought and wondered if anyone else, had similar thoughts as well.

PS: If this information is already out these and I happened to miss it, feel free to correct me.

[letterboxd]

Survival Mode.

In ten recent coming-of-age films, Ella Kemp finds the genre thriving—and looking very different than the 1980s might have predicted. Film directors and Letterboxd members weigh in on the specific satisfactions of the genre, especially in a pandemic.

There have been jokes, some more serious than others, about the art that will come out of this time. How many novels about a fast-spreading disease are you betting on? Will Covid-19 be better suited to documentary or fiction? But the art I’m most looking forward to, and revisiting now, is the art made about teenagers going through it.

Physical school attendance, so central to the John Hughes movies of the 1980s, is up in the air for so many. Sports practice, theater clubs, mall hang-outs; the familiar neighborhood beats of a teenager’s life are more confined than ever. All of us have had to tweak our reality to make the best of invasive changes forced upon us during the pandemic. In a sense, it feels like we are all coming of age.

Teenagehood, though, is a particularly tricky time of transition, and we don’t yet know the half of how the pandemic is going to impact today’s young adults—and, by association, tomorrow’s coming-of-age films. But in the last two years alone there have been enough brave new entries in the genre, about young people so enlivening, that there’s both plenty for young film lovers to lose themselves in, and plenty for us slightly older folks to watch and learn from.

So I sought out ten recent coming-of-age films (and several of the directors responsible) to see what these stories teach us about teenagers, and how we might empathize with them. The list—Jezebel, Beats, Zombi Child, Blinded by the Light, Selah and the Spades, The Half of It, Dating Amber, Babyteeth, House of Hummingbird and We Are Little Zombies—is by no means exhaustive. But it allows us to look at several things.

Firstly, that the genre is thriving, considering these titles barely scratch the surface. Secondly, these ten films look a whole lot different than their 1980s counterparts. Six are directed by women. Four tell queer stories or, at least, feature queer characters in a prominent subplot. Seven tell stories about Black people, Asian people, Pakistani people. Only three are from the US.

And: they’re really good. They understand teenagers as angry, energetic, passionate, confused, desperate and deeply intelligent beings, echoing the nuances that we know to be true in real life, but that can often get watered down on the screen.

Blinded by the Light (co-written and directed by Gurinder Chadha) We Are Little Zombies (written and directed by Makoto Nagahisa) Beats (co-written and directed by Brian Welsh)

The protagonists in these first three films use music to feel their way through panic, brought on by both internal and external circumstances. Screaming another’s lyrics, furiously composing their own anthems, dancing along and sweating out their fear to the beat, the ongoing beat, and nothing more. It’s salvation, it’s release—when you’re left with your own thoughts, the only way to fight through them is to drown them out.

Music acts as a source of enlightenment in Blinded by the Light, directed by Gurinder Chadha (who made 2002’s coming-of-age sports banger Bend it Like Beckham). In Thatcher’s Britain, Pakistani-English Muslim high schooler Javed discovers the music of Bruce Springsteen, and his world bursts wide open. The wisdom and fire of the Boss helps Javed to make sense of his own frustrations; that the film is based on a real journalist’s autobiography makes it all the more potent.

Meanwhile, in Beats, a real-life law enacted in Scotland in the 1990s temporarily banned raves: specifically, the gathering of people around music “wholly or predominantly characterized by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats”. As the UK struggles to contain a youthful, exuberant new counter-culture, the central characters face what it means to enter adulthood. The answer to both: a forbidden rave.

“I have to say, there’s probably no such thing as teenagers without complicated emotions,” We Are Little Zombies writer-director Makoto Nagahisa tells me. The Japanese filmmaker—who loves the genre, known as ‘Seishun eiga’ in Japan—wrestles with the frustration and hopelessness of the world by giving his film’s four orphaned teens the tools, and the permission, to find solace in something other than their everyday life. Following the deaths of their parents, the quartet create their own catchy, cathartic, truth-bomb music; it’s an instant hit with kids across Japan, but the adults miss the point, of course—that the cacophony of superstardom is filling the silence of their mourning.

Nagahisa-san’s film is named after a fictional 8-bit Nintendo Game Boy game that the main character is addicted to. “I used to get through my day relatively painlessly by pretending I was a video game character whenever bad shit happened to me,” he explains. Teenagers “are constantly feeling crushed by reality right now… I want them to know that this is a valid way to escape reality. That reality is just a ‘game’. I want them to know they don’t need to face tragedies, they can just survive. That’s the most important thing!” Who else needed to hear that right now?

Jezebel (written and directed by Numa Perrier) Zombi Child (written and directed by Bertrand Bonello) Selah and the Spades (written and directed by Tayarisha Poe) House of Hummingbird (written and directed by Kim Bo-ra)

Our next four films turn to technology, mythology, hierarchy and education to animate their protagonists’ lives with a greater purpose. In Jezebel, nineteen-year-old Tiffany finds her way through mourning with a new job, earning money as a cam girl and subsequently developing a bond with one of her clients. There’s a magnetic aura, one that harnesses grief and turns it into something more corrosive as this teen puts all her energy into it. Similarly there’s mysticism in the air in Zombi Child, in which Haitian voodoo gives a bored, heartbroken teenage girl a new purpose as she searches for a way to connect with the one she lost—and with herself.

Selah and the Spades and House of Hummingbird understand the third-party saviour as more of a structure, that of a school or an inspiring teacher. Selah finds herself by doing business selling recreational drugs to her classmates in a faction-led boarding school. Nothing mends a sense of aimlessness like power. This same framework lets Hummingbird’s Eun-hee, a schoolgirl in mid-90s South Korea whose abusive family invest their academic focus in her useless brother, search for love and find connection in her school books—and from the person who’s asking her to read them.

The films on this list are not perfect; some might be criticized for specifically following a formula, the tropes of the coming-of-age film, a little too well. Jezebel lets its protagonist rise and fall with familiarity, while Selah suffers the consequences of her extreme actions, and even Eun-hee reckons with a few recognizable pitfalls. But still, the fact that these films exist is “innately radical”, says Irish writer-director David Freyne, whose queer Irish comedy Dating Amber is covered below. The filmmaker describes the coming-of-age genre as mainstream, but in the best possible sense: “It’s a broadly appealing film,” he says.

This is why, to see these stories reframed with minority voices, with queer voices, is so quietly revolutionary. “The more you see them, the more broadly we see them being enjoyed—the more producers and financiers will realize these stories don’t have to be niche just because they happen to frame a minority voice. Everyone can enjoy it.”

Film journalist and Letterboxd member Iana Murray, a coming-of-age genre fan, echoes Freyne’s thoughts. “Representation is absolutely not the be-all end-all, but I’d love to see more coming-of-age films that reflect my experiences growing up as a woman of color,” she says, before introducing what I’d like to call the Rashomon Effect. “I see it as like one of those films that tell the same events from different perspectives, something like Rashomon or Right Now, Wrong Then,” she explains. “A story becomes even more vibrant when told through a different set of eyes, and that’s what happens when you allow women, people of color, and LGBT people to create coming-of-age narratives.”

Dating Amber (written and directed by David Freyne) The Half of It (written and directed by Alice Wu) Babyteeth (directed by Shannon Murphy, written by Rita Kalnejais)

Which brings us on nicely to our last three: wildly different titles, each with young protagonists at war with themselves, trying to make sense of their bodies and minds as best they can. In this context, companionship is everything. Finding a platonic soulmate in Dating Amber, a sexual awakening in The Half of It, a first love to make a short life worth living in Babyteeth. Each film is directed with a verve and passion that you know must be personal.

The story of a frustrated boy in the closet in Dating Amber aches with care from Freyne behind the camera, while Alice Wu directs Ellie Chu, the main character in The Half Of It, with patience and the kind of encouragement that quiet girls who live a life between two cultures are rarely given. And with Babyteeth, Shannon Murphy returns Australian cinema firmly to the center of the movie map, with a quintessentially Australian optimism and sense of humor, which Ben Mendelsohn called “delightfully bent”.

These perspectives are specific to each teen, but the intensity transcends genres and borders. It manifests musically, verbally, visually, aesthetically. These teens connect with their favorite music and means of entertainment, but also simply to their favorite clothes and accessories—blue bikinis and green wigs, red neck-scarves and floaty white dresses. These details give the characters ways to reinvent themselves while standing still, which certainly feels apt for a life lived, for now, at home.

‘Pretty in Pink’ (1986), written by John Hughes and directed by Howard Deutch.

Many argue that the coming-of-age genre peaked with John Hughes, who defined the framework in iconic 1980s films that have his stamp all over them, whether he wrote (Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful) or also directed them (The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sixteen Candles). Hughes’ world view was of a specifically suburban, white, American corner of the world, which he filled with misfits and ultra-hip soundtracks. “John Hughes was to the genre what The Beatles are to rock and roll,” confirms Letterboxd member Brad, maintainer of the essential coming-of-age movie list Teenage Wasteland.

After Hughes, the genre tumbled, Dazed and Confused, into the 1990s—notable voices include John Singleton with his seminal Boyz n the Hood, and Gus Van Sant’s My Own Private Idaho and Good Will Hunting. This was also the decade of Clueless, which informed the bright, female-forward fare of the 2000s, like Mean Girls, The Princess Diaries and the aforementioned Bend it Like Beckham. The last decade has seen new American storytellers step into Hughes’ shoes, including Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird and Little Women), Olivia Wilde and the writers of Booksmart, and the autobiographical voices of Jonah Hill (mid90s) and Shia LaBeouf (Honey Boy, directed by Alma Har’el).

It’s interesting to note—whether it’s the 1860s or the 1980s—that many coming-of-agers from the past decade take place in an earlier period setting. Social media has demanded the upheaval of entire lives, but it seems some filmmakers aren’t yet ready to grapple with its place on screen.

The audience, on the other hand, is far more adaptable. The way we’re watching coming-of-age films has shifted, and it’s more appropriate for the genre than we could have imagined. On the last day of shooting Dating Amber, Freyne recalls one of the young actors asking, “So, is this going to be on Netflix or something?” This is when cinemas were still open.

“That’s often how younger people are devouring content now,” Freyne reasons. His film, in the end, was snapped up by Amazon (a US release date is yet to be announced). “It’s creating a communal experience with the intersection of social media: live streams, fan art, daily messages… It’s made us feel incredibly connected, moreso than I think we would have got with a cinematic release.”

Streaming platforms also cater to one key habit of a younger film lover: the rewatch. The iconic teen films of the 80s embedded their reputations thanks to the eternal allure of the Friday night video store ritual, and constant television replays. These days, it’s only with a film finding a home on Netflix, on Amazon or on Hulu, that a younger person (or, in times of global crisis, any person) can both financially and logistically afford to devote themselves to watching, again and again, these people onscreen that they’ve immediately and irrevocably found a connection with.

It’s always felt hard to be satisfied with just one viewing of a perfect coming-of-age film—observe how many times Iana Murray has logged Call Me By Your Name. What is it about the slippery, universal allure of the genre? It’s possibly as simple as the feeling of being seen in the fog of intergenerational confusion. Says Nagahisa-san: “Grown-ups think of teenagers like zombies. Teenagers think of grown-ups like zombies. We’re never able to understand what others are feeling inside.”

“The reaction is always emotive rather than intellectual,” adds Freyne. “There’s something quite visceral and instinctive about coming-of-age films; it’s an emotional experience rather than an analytical one.” That emotional experience is tied up in the fact that we often experience coming-of-age movies just as we ourselves are coming of age, establishing an unbreakable connection between a film and a specific period in our lives. MovieMaestro Brad explains it best: “There is a bit of nostalgia in a lot of these films that take me back to my younger days, when life was simple.”

But that’s not to say only those coming of age can appreciate a coming-of-age film. On her favorite coming-of-age film, Mike Mills’ 20th Century Women, Murray explains, “It doesn’t see coming-of-age as exclusive to teenagers, because that process of growth is really about transition and change.” (In a similar vein, Kris Rey’s new comedy I Used to Go Here, in select theaters and on demand August 7, meets Kate Conklin, played by Gillian Jacobs, in a sort of quarter-life-crisis, needing to grow down a bit in order to grow up.)

Natalia Dyer in ‘Yes, God, Yes’ (2019), directed by Karen Maine.

There is endless praise, conflict and wonder to be found in the ten films mentioned above—and all the ones we haven’t even gone near (Karen Maine’s orgasmic religious comedy Yes, God, Yes, now available on demand in the US, deserves an honorary mention, as does Get Duked!, Ninian Doff’s upcoming stoner romp in the Scottish Highlands). The thing about this genre is it’s raw, it’s alive, and it’s always in transition. Just when you might think it’s gone out of fashion, it emerges in a new and fascinating form. And yet, there are still so many filmmakers who haven’t tackled the genre. I asked my interviewees who they’d like to see take on a story of teens in transition.

“I’d love to see Tarantino’s take on a coming-of-age tale,” says master of the genre himself, MovieMaestro/Brad. Murray gives her vote to Lulu Wang, saying, “I love the specificity she brought to The Farewell, I think it would transfer well to a genre that needs to escape clichés.” Freyne, meanwhile, wants to see if Ari Aster might have another story about young people in him. Maybe something a bit less lethal next time.

Ultimately, “you write from empathy, not from experience,” says Freyne. I think the same goes for watching, too. It won’t be tomorrow, and it might not be this year, but eventually, the world will emerge from Covid-19. What will we have learned from the films that we watched while we were waiting? From the sadness, the angst, the determination, the rage and the passion?

Nagahisa-san already knows, and his advice is everything we need right now: “You don’t need others’ approval of who you are, as long as you understand and approve of yourself. Do whatever pops up in your mind. Live your life without fear or despair. Just survive.”

Related content

See where most of the recent releases mentioned here are virtually screening, in our Art House Online list.

Shannon Murphy talks to us about Babyteeth, and shares a list of her favorite Australian films.

Makoto Nagahisa’s 25 favorite teen movies

David Freyne’s 25 favorite LGBTQIA+ films

Growing Pains: The Ultimate Coming of Age Movie Challenge

(Happy) Queer Coming of Age Movies

Coming of age—but make it diverse

[theyearoftheking]

Book Twenty-Three: It

"Maybe that’s why God made us kids first and built us close to the ground, because He knows you got to fall down a lot and bleed a lot before you learn that one simple lesson. You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for... and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.” 

I’m just going to come right out and say it.

Orgy. 

Pre-teen child orgy.

Weird-ass, icky, questionable judgement that I’m going to chalk up to years of drug and alcohol abuse... orgy. 

Of all the strange and bizarre things Steve has written over the years, the child orgy scene in It might be the strangest one. I’ve read articles back and forth, and I know there was controversy surrounding whether or not to include it in the movie (glad cooler heads prevailed there!), but ick!!! Maybe it’s because my daughter is Beverly’s age, but ick!!! 

I don’t think it belonged in the book. There were hundreds of other way the kids could have cemented their friendship, and shown adult status without sex. I mean, they already had a blood oath: what more do you need?? 

I know. This is such a small scene in the book, but it troubles me as a woman, a feminist, and most importantly, a mother. And as a writer, I’m also troubled that parts of it are written like a bad porn: “Something that will bring us together forever. Something that will show...that I love you all... Who’s first?” 

Gag. I just threw up in my mouth a little. 

I loved reading It. The past and present chapters of the book flowed so fluidly, the character development was excellent, and Pennywise is terrifying. But this one part just keeps me from ever wanting to read it again. And then it had me questioning my own enjoyment of the book. Should I come down hard on this one for Steve’s tone-deaf attitude towards children having sex? Should I just ignore it and move along? Is it callus for me to enjoy the book, and still be bothered by the child orgy scene? 

I think I finally settled on the last option. 

Okay. We tackled the elephant in the room, now let’s move along to my half-assed review of the rest of the book. 

I thought I had read It in the past, but when the book was delivered, I was shocked to see how thick it was. I was expecting a much shorter read. That was clue number one I had never read it. Clue number two was not really remembering the past and present story lines. So I’m going to assume I’m at that fragile, old age where I no longer remember every book I’ve ever read. 

I have seen both of the recent movies, and thought they stayed fairly true to the book, and I liked their casting. I even imagined several movie characters as I was reading along. It was a solid book, and I flew through it in a little over a week. Not bad for normal reading standards, but a little long for Coronavirus reading standards. 

Cue the Cardi... Coronavirus! 

Sorry. I really love this video, and find myself yelling, “Coronavirus! Shit is real!” far too often. 

So, for those of you who have been living under a rock your entire lives, It is the story of Pennywise, a murderous clown who preys on innocent children in Derry, Maine every twenty-seven years or so. Yes, he’s a clown, but he can also take the form of a spider, a werewolf, or whatever you’re most terrified of. “Glamour, he said, was the Gaelic name for the creature which was haunting Derry; other races and other cultures at other times had different words for it, but they all meant the same thing... The Himalayans called it a tallus or taelus, which meant an evil magic being that could read your mind, and then assume the shape of the thing you were most afraid of.” 

So, It kills little Georgie Denbrough, and his older brother Bill lives with the guilt of Georgie’s death. Bill had been at home with the flu, but had made Georgie a paper boat he could play with outside, and race through the flooding streets. Bill feels if he had been there, Georgie might still be alive, and his parents might be far less vacant and depressed. That’s some serious guilt. 

Bill and his gang of friends: Stan Uris, Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, Beverly Marsh, Mike Hanlon, and Ben Hanscom all band together and form The Losers Club after admitting they’ve seen It in some form or another. In addition to taking out a few psychotic child bullies in a rock fight, they also mortally wound It. They have a group orgy, and a blood oath to celebrate their victory.

The kids grow up, and all go their seperate ways until twenty-seven years later when Mike calls them all to let them know It is killing again. Stanley Uris kills himself in the bathtub, but the rest of the Losers Club all travel back to Derry to see what’s up. Richie is a California-based DJ, Eddie runs a car service and married a woman just like his crazy mother, Beverly is a famous clothing designer, Ben is a world-famous architect, Bill is an acclaimed writer, and Mike is the librarian at the Derry Public Library. 

All of them have vague memories of their time in Derry, and barely remember one another. But once they get back in town, the memories and bad habits start flooding back. Eddie is back to sucking on his aspirator every few minutes (despite his asthma being psychosomatic), Richie can no longer wear contacts and is back to his dorky glasses, and Bill is back to stuttering, something he hasn’t done since childhood. Good times. 

While the Loser’s Club is assembling and eating Chinese food together, Pennywise takes it upon himself to release psycho childhood bully Henry Bowers from Juniper Hill, the mental institution he’s been in for years. Sidenote... one of the meanest counselors at Juniper Hill is Koontz. Coincidence? I’m going with no... 

Mike informs everyone It is back in action again, killing people, and they all made a promise to come back to Derry if It ever went on another murderous rampage. So, they head back into the sewers again to take It out once and for all. They succeed, Eddie dies, Beverly’s abusive asshole husband dies, Audra, Bill’s wife, is catatonic from the shock of the whole thing, and the entire town of Derry literally and metaphorically collapses in on itself. But on the bright side, It is dead, and there wasn’t another orgy. Huzzah! 

The book is chock full of Steve tropes (chambray work shirts! multiple mentions of Shawshank prison! Happy Crappy everywhere!); and also a few mentions of past and future books. Loser’s Club member Ben Hanscom is a chunky kid, and he’s made fun of for his weight. At one point, he recants a traumatic locker room scene where kids are “fat-paddling” him. Yes, it’s as cringy as it sounds. The gym teacher finally breaks it up, and Ben describes, “...what he did was grab one of my tits in each hand and squeeze. Then he took his hands away and rubbed them on his pants like he’d touched something dirty.” This was basically the male version of Carrie: locker room torture and dirty pillows. I laughed way too hard at that. But unlike Carrie White, Ben grows up to be handsome, famous, and he gets the girl without starting anyone on fire. 

Later on in the novel, Beverly is dealing with her abusive, crazy husband, Tom Rogan. After she beats the crap out of him and flees for Derry, he tries to track her down. First, he stops by her best friend’s house, and almost beats her to death before she tells him Beverly left for Derry. Tom Rogan is so evil and terrifying, I couldn’t help but wonder if his character planted a seed in Steve’s mind for Rose Madder. I saw a lot of similarities. 

There were also a few Dark Tower references. The Turtle is mentioned throughout the book, and The Turtle is also known as Maturin, one of the Guardians of the Beam in the Dark Tower universe. #allthingsservethebeam

Later on, Bill is on his way to take on It and, “He thought dimly of riding in a train and passing one going in the other direction, a train that was so long it seemed eventually to stand still or even move backward. He could still hear It, yammering and buzzing, Its voice high and angry, not human, full of mad hate...”

Could it be Blaine? Blaine is a pain! 

There was also one Wisconsin reference, Beverly takes a flight out of Milwaukee. After several books with no Wisconsin references, it was nice seeing Steve give us the love we deserve. 

Orgy aside, I really loved It (things you never think you’ll say out loud, or type for that matter). If nothing else, you have to give Steve credit for making creepy clowns a thing. At one point in the book, Steve writes, “The fears of children could often be summoned up in a single face... and if bait were needed, why, what child did not love a clown?” 

Um, no children today, thanks to your sick ass! 

Next up is Eyes of the Dragon, which I have never read before, and is slow going. But at least it’s short. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 16

Total Dark Tower References: 16

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

Stay healthy and keep social distancing, my friends!

Until next time, Long Days and Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[the-pale-ones]

More than half of my extended family is adopted and they're amazing people, I have a cousin adopted from China who grew up to be an engineer!

My sister had a friend who's teen mother had an open adoption with family friends who were unable to have children, and that friend has the most wonderful home life! Her adoptive parents love her and her bio mother loves her and visits! Her bio mother eventually got married and now this girl has half siblings and they all love and care for each other! One big extended family!

I had a friend who's brother was adopted from Cuba and they couldn't be closer! They went to band together, choir, musical, etc. He's also a genius in science and math! He has a wonderful girlfriend now and is doing fantastic!

One of my friends was the adopted daughter of my history teacher! This teacher was one of the brightest ladies I've ever had the honor of meeting and honestly was one of my role models. Despite protests she married a man of another race, and she fought until the school allowed her to teach a Holocaust and Genocide class as well as an African American History class. Her daughter grew up just as smart and is in STEM!

I also know a family where half their kids were foster kids they eventually adopted, two of them were brothers and one of them was severely mentally handicapped, both were over the age of 14 when they found their forever homes, but they couldn't be luckier since they ended up with a family that was literally given the nickname "Sunshine Family" due to their bright minds, creativity, and endless love. Their eldest is getting married this month to a wonderful man! And their mother has told me that as soon as she saw them, she knew they were part of their family. I didn't know they were adopted for a long time until it was brought up since their involvement in the family was so natural and loving.

Adoption is not sad or scary, yes, it is not always sunshine and rainbows, there is still abuse and neglect for most of these children, but that's why we need to make adoption normalized and allow these LGBTQ+ couples to adopt!

Older generations say that the family is a dying trend but I disagree. The NUCLEAR family is a dying trend. There are plenty of loving homes who WANT children but can't or don't feel comfortable having their own.

Adoption may seem like a sad thing, but it is beautiful, without it, that teen mom may have lost her beautiful daughter and those friends may have never had the chance to raise children.

My aunt and uncle wouldn't have had the chance to take care of my (favorite btw) cousin.

My friend would be missing her brother and my history teacher would be missing her beautiful daughter.

The Sunshine Family would be cut down in half and feel incomplete. Their daughter my age says she can't imagine life without her adopted siblings. They're family.

I myself, as an ace have struggled with my want for a family but not knowing if I'd be willing to get it the traditional way. But with adoption as an option, my life becomes so much easier and joyful. To be able to CHOOSE my family? Adoption is a beautiful thing.

I'm sorry this ran a little long, I've always had strong opinions on adoption since more than half the people i grew up knowing were adopted. I use to hear people at school or online saying adoption is sad, annoying, expensive, tragic. Movie tropes making it out to be this awful thing. But to me...adoption was normal.

Adoption brought joy and peace.

So normalize it. Let people adopt. There are so many people aching for a family of their own. And don't be afraid to place your children up for adoption if you KNOW you can't handle it.

I've met children of teen moms, druggies, the dead, or (in the case of the mentally handicapped boy) unable to handle the burdens of being there for their children. And all of them found good homes. They are all happy.

And I know those families granted the chance to adopt wouldn't have it any other way.

[mysticdragon3md3]

MD3 watches Carole & Tuesday season 1 part 1

9:34 PM 9/1/2019 Carole and Tuesday ep1

Watch Shinichiro Watanabe and Studio Bones go fully into revolving a series around music.  

I was going to say something about how this entire exposition dump is too blunt, that everything is falling into place too easily. But not only is it the natural thing for these 2 characters to do when they're introducting themselves to each other, but the tone of these scenes are really nice.  Just the thing for someone who's been watching almost exclusively iyashikei for a while now.  

I'm surprised they're using actual terms like "Google" and "INstagram".  I wonder if there's a real Instagram account named "carole_and_tuesday".  Well, if Netflix didn't, the fanbase will have.  

I like that the episode begins with narration explaining that Carole and Tuesday will become famous musicians.  Because if the tension of the episode/series is based on already knowing their ending of their story, then that means, it won't hurt me to have already seen some spoiler scenes from later in the series.  ^-^  

That ending theme really sounds like a Cyndi Lauper or at least a 1980's song, with all that synthesizer.  Tuesday was talking about her earlier in the episode.  Do I have to go research Lauper to understand future references?  

9:59 PM 9/1/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep2.

Is there a setting on Netflix that automatically lets me always see the ending and opening credits?  I just don't feel complete when those opening songs and ending themes get skipped.  And often, I can't scramble for the remote in time to ensure I get to watch the credits.  I'm pretty sure there's science behind the benefits of staying for credits and easing back into the next episode with an opening song.  I mean, that whole Interest Curve theory works pretty well for overall plots, scenes, videogame rising tension, Star Wars, Haikyuu, etc.  I need that cool-down after a story for an optimal experience.  That's why I always stayed in movie theaters during credits, even before the MCU.  

I forgot to note during ep1, but I like the future-ized version of vocal synthesizers liek Hatsune Miku, and there's this whole company that has had exclusively virtual/artifical singers for its entire successful history so far.  Did that Tao guy mention the name of his company?  

I also liked that Angela's mom is going to represent that Stage Mom archetype and how that's destructive and contributes to the cliche of "child actors" ending up badly.  If we're going to have a series about the entertainment business, it's good to at least mention that.  

Oh yeah...Did Carole's uni-wheel skateboard exist before the real life version that's been advertised on YouTube lately?  

Something tells me Tao's business is going to be a better example of the highly manufactured music process, than Black Mirror's "Rachel, Jack, and Ashley Too".   These chats that Carole and Tuesday have, while her owl gets sleepy, are realy soothing.  It's reminds me of iyashikei genre's tone.  And Carole's seiyuu has a soothing voice that's also more interesting that just the typical bishoujo voice.  

So the title is based on Bruce Springsteen's song.  

Carole wants to try a grand piano, and I was thinking of those pianos inside shopping malls.  But would malls even still exist in the future?  LOL  And why is there a piano in a place called "Mars Immigration Memorial Hall"?  Sounds like a federal administrative building.  ...Except for the "Memorial" part.  Yeah, what would a building like that be for?  Maybe a piano will make sense there when I see it.  

DJ Ertegun is getting a pretty big introduction.  Ok, I'm curious.  Did he produce that talent show I've seen spoiler clips of?  

I feel kind of bad for Carole's security guard friend, but I like that one of the people in charge of the venue is cool with them just using the piano.  LOL  

Did I mention yet that I really like the music in this series?  The songs I've seen in spoiler clips, anyway.  

LOL  omg Roddy recorded them running from the security guard too.  LOL  ^o^!

omg and he totally uploaded it.  LOL

I'd be funny if anyone, not just people with more computer experience, but I mean idiots like me, could so easily use facial recognition software, find someone's Instagram, and just use the geotagging to find anyone.  

I know it's cliche for the has-been agent/manager/scout to find a new talent and it gets him out of his self-destructive patterns, but it's still nice.  I'm glad to see Gus not drinking his liver to death and picking fights.  

I really should stop after ep2, but I'm really curious to see how they'll deal with a manager out of no where.  

10:43 PM 9/1/2019

Carole & tuesday ep3

Tuesday's brother sounds really familiar.  I know that the bishonen/biseinen voice is a common archetype, but still.  Is that Takahiro Sakarai?  He voices Cloud in Final Fantasy VII.  Or maybe...No.  Not deep enough for Hikaru Midorikawa.  That's just wishful thinking for my old favorite.  

I feel bad for Tuesday's brother.  I don't know how, but there's a sense that he feels bad about how their mom treats her.  Maybe it's camera lingering on his reponses to her, like he's hesitating to go along with her commands.  Maybe that kind of direction implies he questions her and is reluctant to follow.  Well, if not, then that completely askewed fireplace behind him in this ep's early scene definitely is saying something.  

It's really funny how this pizzeria scene used reading Wikipedia as not just exposition but showing everyone's funny reactions.  Just like when people read a real Wiki!  LOL  I hope more movies do this kind of integration of believable internet use.  

"Teen Vogue"?  

It's funny now durian has become the popular flavor.  

Is the currency "oolongs"?  LOL  That's really close to "woolongs" from Cowbow Bebop.  I wonder why they didn't go ahead and use "woolongs" as a direct reference.  

Ok.  This laundromat scene and a random stranger getting involved in their unfinished song, is pretty endearing.  ^____^

I just realized that everyone is walking around with these AI pets, like the All-Mates from Dramatical Murder.  

It's the partially-shredded Banksy!  LOL

I thought he expected them to do a nude drawing of him or something.  Now does he think they're athletic trainers?  ...Groupies.  He thinks they're groupies.  Ok.  That was a lot of weird misdirect.  But I guess that confusion is teh point of this scene.  LOL  

She's actually burning her sheet music?!  I'm pretyt sure Ertegun was being metaphorical.  So are they portraying Tuesday as the oblivous literal type?  Or was she trying to activate the fire sprinklers to get back at his insults?  

They're pretty lucky that everyone takes their shenanigans well.  

This "running again" running gag is starting to grow on me.

So Ertegun mentioned, like Tao, that he also constructs his music from computer-analyzed trends.  So is this the theme of this series?  Music by computer calculations vs music by humans?  

They're funny.  ^____^  Turning back at Ertegun's house just to yell at him without him even hearing.  I wonder if they're going to go the old fashioned route of gigs at bars, like Gus was talking about.  

11:12 PM 9/1/2019

Maybe I can watch ep 4 without taking so many notes.  I just want to watch it.  

11:13 PM 9/1/2019

Carole & tuesday ep4

Good gobs, this series is much harder to stop watching than Violet Evergarden.  Proably because Violet Evergarden was a cry fest and that's easier to drop.  I can't do that much crying all the time!  At least Carole & Tuesday is soothing and fun.  

Roddy is still there. LOL

Isnt' there something wrong with it if it's only 19 oolongs?  

Ziggy likes Tuesday now.  ^u^

Ooh, poor Ziggy.  

Heh.  Maybe I don't actually want to stop writing reactions.  ^^;;;

This whole episode is uneasy.  You know they're not actually going to be able to make this crazy music video.  That direction AI robot is going to turn out to be worthless.  And in any case, a big action music video doesn't fit their type of songs.  It's like going up the roller coaster, waiting for the fall, when you don't liek roller coasters!  x~x!  Ok.  After this episode, I'll call this binge a night.

This montage of them trying on clothes woudl be a good music video for them.  

I wonder why they didn't start with giving the robot budget restrictions or any kind of limitations first, before it told them what was possible.  

I really like that Marie is just so casually asking these young people if they have boyfriends or girlfriends. You never see that in anime!!!!!!!!!!! ;u;  It's usually a big deal and used for comedy because of the heteronormative expectations!!!!!  but here, she's just being normal about it!  ;U;!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!  

I don't collect Gunpla, but I call figure collection abuse!  lol

Why is this robot talkign out loud to itself?  

Dude, the bartender is super stressed, watching Gus and Marie.  Do they have a history of big arguments that could wreck his bar?  O_o???

Just say "congratulations" if you're going to burst in like that.  LOL  Takes the edge off your eavesdropping.  LOL

"I hope you're happy this time."  Awwwwwwwwwwwwww~  That's so sweet.  ;u;

Who's that random dancer in the video? LOL

Wait a sec...The car was blown up?!?

Where is the AI scammer getting returned to?  

Ok, that was funny at the end.  Maybe I can stick around for another episode.  ^^;

11:42 PM 9/1/2019

I'm going to switch to dub, so I can get some stuff done in these 20 minutes before 12am.  o~o;  

11:46 PM 9/1/2019

Carole & tuesday ep5

Wow.  Roddy's dub actor is Michael Sinterniklaas?  ...Or maybe Yuri Lowenthal? ...Hm...  Then again, there are so many new dub actors that I often find myself confusing older A-listers I'm familiar with.  ^^;  

Wait.  The dub Tao said "woolongs"!  So it's a direct reference to Cowbow Bebop in the dub!  

"You're not as cool as you used to be"?  Really?  *That* cliche?  Listen, I've liked a lot of tropes used in this series so far, but that was mean and hackneyed.  

Only 1 song?  Good.  They only have like 3 songs.  

So the Martian environment caused Angela's mom to become androgenous?  Is that why the media lost interest in her as a child actor, once she hit her 20's?  It always creeps me out how when these child actors turn 18/legal, everyone give this sense like they're leering at him in anticipation.  I guess once Angela's mom wasn't able to transition from child actress to "specifically-female sex pot" they gave up on her career.  That's kind of weird, huh?  When child actresses get old enough, as soon as they're legal, everyone expects them to sell sex with their image, even when they just _barely_ became old enough.  I don't pay enough attention to non-geeky entertainment media, but are male child actors expected to become sex symbols as soon as they turn 18 too?  That's kinda sad.  

Well, Roddy explaining to Beth why likes their music, explains why he's sticking around.  

How did Tuesday's luggage find her?  ^.^

I like how cool Carole's landlord and Tuesday's brother are being about leaving them alone to continue pursuring music.  

12:16 AM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep6

It's funny how they're all hanging out at Carole's place all the time now.  

Well, that Skip guy was pretty cool.

Oh~  Skip was talking about Crystal forgetting the type of music she originally wanted to play.  I thought he was talking about himself or something.  First time I saw this clip of him talking to Crystal, he said "it's your song".  I thought that meant he wrote it for her.  But now hearing the same line dubbed, I finally understood it means that Cyrstal wrote this song and it was her original sound, that she's forgotten now that she plays music that sounds more like manufactured pop.  

Is that why they call alcohol "liquid courage"?  ^^;;;;;;;;;

Oh, they really did write a faster song just for this festival?  No, wait.  This is that laundromat song.  ^_^

Wow.  They're really throwing stuff at them while they play.  I feel like I've seen this portrayed only once before in an idol series, but then it had that stereotypical "somoene stands up for the protagonists" moment.  It's kind of refreshing for this more realistic portrayal, then the encouragement come in a more practical way.  

Aw, Crystal is giving them a pep talk.  There are so many nice mentor figures at this festival.  ;u;  

12:37 AM 9/2/2019

I should stop here and go to bed.  ^^;

It occurrs to me that I keep expecting an episode preview, full of joke narration, like you usually hear after an ending theme.  LOL  I guess Netflix really does expect you to binge everything.  ^^;;;  No need for previews and omake, huh?  

Ok.  I'll save ep7 for tomrrow.  

Good series.  ^____^

5:03 PM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep7

I'm so glad all these video essays on YouTube have been teaching me to pay more attention.  Or else I wouldn't have noticed how round-table Gus/Carole&Tuesday/Roddy are together, in contrast to Tao/Angela/Angela's mom.

Angela *better* have her own category.  I can't imagine having American Idol and suddenly back-in-the-day Miley Cyrus show up as just a regular contestant.  C'mon.  

I know I sound like an old fogey, but I really like when modern media shows people streaming their life.  Because it's actually happening, and there was such a long time when movies/shows would go to lengths to not show technology even when it's become a daily part of life, just for fear of free product placement.  Seeing Pyotr streaming himself and everyone say he's "Instagram famous" may make this bit dated in 10-20 years, but I feel like it's a better representation of now, vs just avoiding portraying it all together.  

Is that native Maritan at the auditions a reference to Space Channel 5?  LOL  Naw~  LOL  

"I won't do things like that anymore. It happened because of the medicine's side effects.  I'm stable now."  Did this just get even darker than "stage mom" drama?  o~o!

Ok.  Physical abuse.  As long as it doesn't go into incest sexual abuse territory, I think I can handle this character development.  

Also, Angela's mom looks like she used to be her dad?  That photo looked very male-presenting.  I thought she was her mom, who just looked/sounded "manish" because of the androgenous effects of the Martian environment?  

I really like how this whole cast works together.  It's really sweet and warm.  I know that this scene of Carole, Tuesday, and Gus running into Roddy are supposed to portray that but in a bittersweet way, like Tuesday is contemplating all of this warmth going away if her identity is discovered through the Mars Brightest audition, but let me just enjoy it as a "slice of life" moment for now.  ^-^  

Oh, Tuesday was sad about not knowing much about Carole's background.  Wow, I feel like there was only 1 moment for that setup. I totally thought she was afraid of this found family of hers being taken away when her identity is revealed.  Ah, well.  Let's see where this goes.  

Carole *is* cool and to be envied.  ^_^

Time for a song!  I thought that if Tuesday was going to keep feeling so sad, they'd have to vent it in a song.  lol

I like how just random people get involved with Carole & Tuesday's lives.  I just watched a spoiler clip of one of their future concerts and looking at the background "finger snappers" I thought they totally found those guys on the street and asked them to snap their fingers for their song.  LOL  But isnt' this guy teaching them special handshakes the same guy from the laundromat?  o.o?  That was funny.  LOL

Ah, so this is about Tuesday learning to be "bold" like Carole.  

Dog race betting!?  ;o;

Ack.  TV crews.  

Oh, this is about Tuesday not needing the sunglasses anymore.  

5:43 PM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep8

The heck?  That's a lot of doing BEOFRE asking!  Even if it's 2 seconds late, that's too late!  o~o!  

Cybelle is always liking their Instagram posts.  lol  I was just reading this [https://twitter.com/_le_hibou/status/1168178112007458818] "To people who follow artists: It may not be obvious but artists do notice followers who regularly interact or reply to their art!! I don’t always know the proper way to respond but I do know who all my “regulars” are if you will lol"  Reminds me that I recently had someone who often likes my IG posts, come meet me in real life and have so many expectations...Now I keep worrying about having said all the wrong things, just being a disappointment, and not having helped enough.  @_@;  

That's mean, Gus.  Don't just assume Angela is going to embarass herself.  Even if we didn't have all these background scenes of her singing well, don't say junk like that.  ~.~;

Ah, when death metal becomes the classical music of old fogeys...  ^____^

"I feel like I've gained their approval to exist."  Sheesh.  To think someone ouwl dsay it so directly and so casually.  o_O

When I first saw this YouTube clip of Pyotr performing I couldn't stop marvelling how this seems like it's completely hand-drawn.  Remember when all the idols shows started to just CGI all the performances and it looked horrible.  Like compare UtaPri's first season vs 3rd.  Or the earlier Idolmasters vs the recent ones.  It's amazing to me that anyone is fully hand-animating this anymore.  

Ok.  I'll admit.  I've been watching "Bulldog Anthem" repeatedly even before starting to watch this series.  I just like opera mixed with modern music, ok.

Was Gus the one squeezing his hand nervously when the announcer mentioned that Carole & Tuesday don't use AI to compose their songs?  

I thought it was weird to choose between different music genres represented by each contestant.  Like I love death metal, and fushion music, and pop is fun too.  But I love that whole acoustic singer-songwriter genre.  ^_________^

It's weird that they're judging OG Bulldog on his identity lies, vs his singing.  Is that how these music audition songs go?  I don't really watch those.  I mean, it's off-putting after he called everyone in the audience/judges fake and made up so many outrageous things about his background, but his song was still nice.  

But maybe that's the contrast represented between OG Bulldog vs Carole & Tuesday.  Bulldog was building this whole identity/persona to sell along with his music.  Whereas even the judge noted how Carole & Tuesday were presenting their music in and of itself alone.  I guess that was the point.  

Maybe it's been a long time since I watched battle anime or the martial arts genre, or Pokemon, but do rival always start introducing themselves to the protagonists by telling them they hate them?  The latest rival I remember being really nasty about their introductions was Yuri Plizetsky from Yuri on Ice.  I guess I'm too accustomed to the old fashioned formalities of martial arts anime, where you send a letter of challenge and formally show your opponent respect, even if it annoys you that they offer you genuine challenge.  In fact, it's because martial artist characters usually recognize the importance of being challenged, that they revere their worthy opponents and recognizing someone as a "rival" was always a sacred thing.  Even rival who hated each other like Ryouga and Ranma are still very respectful towards each other.

And talk about Shadow projecting.  If anyone is the "amatures who get carried away with themselves" it's definitely Angela.  I mean, she can sing, but everyone recognizes her as a model and is calling her a music amature.  

6:25 PM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep9

Cybelle's really storng on the stalker vibes.  

omg Did the guest judge just get killed?

Did Cybelle just bite Tuesday?????  O~O!!  This is getting into extra weird levels of stalker!  ;o;

I'd feel kind of hyprocritical if I don't admit that Angela's songs are nice.  Even though I said that OG Bulldog's background doesn't effect the quality of his song, knowing how nasty Angela has been for most of this series has infused watching her performances with bitterness.  But her songs are nice, in and of themselves.  

I'm glad Tuesday was able to reject Cybelle so soon.  And I'm glad Cybelle lost, so her creepiness can exit the series sooner.  But I'm afraid a violent stalker subplot is going to start.  o~o!

6:49 PM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep10

Ertegund judging Carole & Tuesday.  I should have seen that coming.  

Is this what they call "emotional blackmail"?  When someone threatens to suicide or hurt themselves if some girl doesn't like them?  Notebook stuff?  

So I didn't react much on ep10 because I was trying to multi-task.  I even tried switching to dub.  But I'm switching back to sub for ep11.

7:54 PM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep11.

I guess Angela is doing the sleuthing in the background for this ep.  

These pre-song interviews are fine in fiction, but I can't believe if they do it right before in an actual show.  Then again, reality TV really over-inflates drama where ever they can.  ~.~;

I want to get an album of Carole & Tuesday and listen to it before I sleep.  ^___^

Ertegun taking cheap shots.  Tuesday DID preform.  

I can't help but deflate the stakes in this Mars Brightest arc since Carole & Tuesday started so low, that any kind of exposure seems fine.  And I like lower stakes for an iyashikei-like tone.  Anyway, look how hyper stressed all the overly ambitious characters are, who absolutely have to win or lose everything.  I'm fine with middle stakes.  

I like that Catherine stated her judgement as "If you asked me who I'd want to hear again...".  That's an interesting factor.

Again, I'm glad Carole & Tuesday keep running into people who are just cool with all the craziness that follows them.  Pyotr could become a nice side character.  And apparently, his stakes were also low enough that all he really wanted was some exposure.  He's already IG famous anyway.  

Are they really going to leave the crime pinned on Angela's poor manager?  

So much for low stakes and low ambition.

At least this show always resolves its issues quickly.  So far.  

Blocking is really nice in this scene.  Them sitting on opposite sides of this weird bench, really makes them seem far apart.  Appropriate.  Gotta remember this technique.

Dude, is Carole going to get a bad injury too?  o_o

Oh, yeah, she still didn't give Teusday her birthday gift.

8:27 PM 9/2/2019

Carole & Tuesday ep12

Well, I'm looking forward to the last-minute escape in a week, to get to Mars Brightest.

Always running with Carole.  LOL

"I should have brought her back no matter what she thought."  Hang on, Gus.  That should be "I should have tried to bring her back and ask her again what she thought."  

I'm glad Tuesday's brother Spencer is cool.

Already sent the instruments to the venue?  Gonna be cutting it close, huh?  ^o^

That's packing a lot of "endearing backstory motivation" into one scene for a so-far less palatable character.  I guess this really is the last episode of this season.  Is there a 2nd season of Carole & Tuesday?  

MOre cool random people they meet on the street.  LOL

Oh wow.  Angela's manager came back.  Aw.  Forgiveness is wholesome.  ^______^

I'm glad they're not driven by ambition.  That's fine for martial arts anime and battle anime, where winning represents something about honing your skill.  But I think Carole & Tuesday are more about just having the chance to sing and enjoy music.  

It's like, "You can have all the high-production concerts and collaborations with Ertegund.  Carole & Tuesday are here to play good music."  

Even got that jerk Ertegund to cry, huh? LOL  

Wait a sec.  Does Netflix USA not have season 2 up yet.  Because I've seen clips on YouTube that weren't in this season.  Wow.  I heard about Netflix withholding episodes but this is just weird...Or maybe that was nother streaming service?  

I guess that's it.  I'll go re-watch the spoiler clips on YouTube then.  

9:03 PM 9/2/2019

https://trinikid.com/carole-tuesday-plot-netflix-release-date-and-more

"Flying Dog" was involved with Carole & Tuesday?!  They worked on my favorite Sengoku Basara 2009 series!  *O*!  

Ok.  So season 1 was split into 2 parts.  And these 12 eps I just watched were part 1 of season 1.  And there's a part 2 of season 1 to come.  And season 2 is teh one that's iffy about production.  

9:08 PM 9/2/2019

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carole_%26_Tuesday

Wait a sec.  Ertegun is freaking Mamoru Miyano?!  LOL!!!!!!!!!!  Well, after Tamaki Suoh I'm convinced he does "over dramatic self-agrandizing" characters well.  LOL  Isn't the manager of Zombieland Saga like that too?  

Roddy is freaking Miyu Irino?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  *O*  I guess he finished his hiatus abroad.  O.o  Wait!  That means whenever there's a Ertegun/Roddy scene, it's Riku and Sora together again!  LOL

Megumi Hayashibara is in this series too?!?!  *u*

Oh, Watanabe is the supervising director with someone else doing the usual directing?  

Looks like season 1 part 2 is still airing in Japan. Netlflix is probably going to wait until the season is done before they send it to Bang Zoom Entertainment for dubbing, AND THEN it'll be on Netflix.  

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection Day 25: Slow Burn

The difference between living and existing (WIP) | @lucy-is-alive

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6052 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester's A+ parenting, College AU, Sexuality crisis, PTSD, Childhood trauma, Recreational drug use, Angst and hurt/comfort Summary: As soon as he got the chance, Dean left his father behind and went to college. However, he never anticipated that the absence of the person who had disrupted his entire life would make it worse. With the help of his friends, he tries to navigate through the emotional hurricane that comes with complex PTSD.

Celestial | @deservetobesaved

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10585 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, emotional affair, bottom!dean Summary: Dean is in a less than stellar marriage, but he assumes things will work themselves out. At the same time, Mr. Castiel Novak becomes his new co-worker at school and Dean has to rethink everything he thought he had figured out.

Welcome to the Badlands (WIP) | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15386 Main Tags/Warnings: graphic violence, dystopian au, fusion, into the badlands au, slow burn Summary: The wars were so long ago, nobody even remembers. Darkness and fear ruled until the time of the Barons, seven men and women who forged order out of the chaos. People flocked to them for protection. That protection became servitude. They banished guns and trained armies of lethal fighters they called Clippers. This world is built on blood. Nobody is innocent here. Welcome to the Badlands.

Profound Kisses | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20700 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, post 8x07 canon divergent, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, angst with a happy ending, clueless! Castiel, pining!Dean, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas, slow burn, love confessions, first kiss, french kiss, Sammy knows. Summary: Dean knows he's screwed. He discovers he is in love with Castiel in Purgatory, and now he can't even have the angel in front of him, because he knows it's a one sided love. It’s Valentine's day and Dean tries very hard to hook up as always, but he can't get Cas out of his mind. So he drives back to the motel, drunk, and he finds Castiel trying to help him. Then, when Dean asks Castiel for some experimental kisses and the angel accepts, Dean starts a very dangerous game… finding in Castiel's kisses the most delicious experiences, but also, his own perdition. Will Castiel fall in love with him? Or will he stay emotionless as always?

Hate me, but love me too | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23310 Main Tags/Warnings: Virgin!Dean,f hate spell, hate curse, younger!dean, older!sam, Grace Sharing, First Kiss, First Time, Hate Sex, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent, Cas is cursed, (not really MCD but Cas isn't alive in the beginning), Castiel has sex with somebody else in the beginning(and Dean sees it), Heartbreakbut I will fix it! Summary: Dean’s whole life changes when his mother tells him that John isn’t his biological father and he needs to save the world from his sibling Adam, who is the King of Hell. But he can’t do that alone, he needs the best Hunter earth had, Castiel Novak.

Starstruck (WIP) | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40860 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Slow Burn, Actor Dean, Single Parent Castiel, Pining Summary: From the outside Castiel Novak looks like a regular guy: a good job, two teenage kids, a nice house and a crappy car he’s way too attached to. But there’s one thing no one knows about him: that, over twenty years ago, he used to live next to no other than Dean Winchester – back then a brash and loud-mouthed boy and nowadays a huge movie star and Hollywood’s sweetheart. Castiel never bothered to tell anyone about his childhood friend because frankly, who would believe him? Probably even Dean himself already forgot about his former awkward and weird neighbor, so Castiel seriously doesn’t see any point in mentioning the whole thing ever. But then an interview on national TV happens where Dean reveals way more about his past than ever before … and Castiel - as well as the rest of the world - suddenly realizes that he left a much bigger impact on Dean’s life than he originally thought.

Letter to Dean Winchester (WIP) | @castielsangel-blade

Rating: Mature Word Count: 44182 Main Tags/Warnings: Past Lisa/Dean, Past Aaron/Dean, Past Castiel/Dean, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Mentions of Past Cheating, Mentions of Past Toxic Relationship, Gray Romantic Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Epistolary, Bisexual Dean Summary: Castiel writes and sends a letter to Dean Winchester. He wants closure for the toxic relationship they had in high school.

Falling Apart | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 49204 Main Tags/Warnings: minor character death, sam deceased when fic starts, alcoholism, drug misuse, addiction, rehab au, soulmate au, flashbacks, ptsd Summary: Sword & Cross Resident Rehabilitation is a last-ditch effort for Dean Winchester to move past the drug and drinking problems he developed to bury his guilt over the fire that killed his brother. Not to mention the wild visions and smoky, sentient shadows that have plagued him his entire life. It's supposed to be the best Savannah has to offer, but one look at the crumbling tile floors and dangling crown mouldings, and Dean has his doubts. Enter Castiel Novak. He’s rude, aloof, and a total dick from the moment they lay eyes on each other but Dean can’t help but feel a mysterious connection to the man. Maybe he really has lost his mind. But when Castiel starts making appearances in Dean’s vivid visions of the past, he knows there is more to their link than meets the eye. Even if Cas keeps telling him otherwise. It seems everyone at Sword & Cross knows what’s going on except for Dean. Trying to conquer his mountain of guilt and doubt and figure out the connection he is certain he shares with Castiel is only made harder by the “accidents” that seem to follow him. Not to mention his attraction to Gadreel. Whatever secret Castiel is trying so hard to keep, Dean knows he has to uncover it.

Will you be my ten inch hero? | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 57468 Main Tags/Warnings: Bullying, Homophobic Language, Abusive John Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, giving a baby to adoption (not between Destiel), Rape/Non-con Elements, John kicked Dean out, Virgin!Dean, surprise guest appereance, Minor Crowley (Supernatural)/Bobby Singer, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Gabriel, two surprise pairings, not Ketch or Mick Davies friendly Summary: When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?

Roll With It | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 72818 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Boss/Employee Relationship, Secretary Dean, Alternate Universe - Not Hunters, The Proposal AU, Alternate Universe, Romantic Comedy, Romance, Editor Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Sam Winchester at Stanford, POV Alternating, Geek Dean, Russian Castiel, Sharing a Bed, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Misunderstandings, Tattooed Castiel, Love Confessions, Slow Burn Summary: For two years, Dean’s been slaving away beneath his boss – many label him a secretary, but he fucking hates that and feels like it only applies to someone wearing a pencil skirt, so he insists on his title of Executive Assistant. And for what? In the vain hope that one day he’ll manage to become an editor for Sandover Publishing, and that he’ll see the manuscript that he’s slaved over since college finally realized in print. That’s the dream, anyway. Right now, he’s fucking late. Dean wants to be an editor. Castiel just wants to stay in the country. ‘The Proposal’ – as you’ve never seen it before.

When the Magnolias bloom (WIP) | @flurryflair

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 92951 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, human!Castiel, divorce, infidelity, middle aged destiel, explicit sexual content, top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, top Dean Winchester/bottom Castiel, POV alternating, unresolved sexual tension, denial of feelings, porn with feelings, anxiety attacks, manipulative relationship, unhealthy coping mechanisms, canon-typical violence, case fic, bisexual!Dean, demisexual!Castiel, semi-canon, minor Castiel/OMC, minor Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden Summary: It's been ten years since the Apocalypse. Ten years without talking, without knowing one another. Castiel has a company to handle and a wedding to plan, Dean has a broken marriage and a decision to make. They have separate lives, lovers and families of their own, they aren't supposed to meet again, to mess it all up. And yet they do, when they least expect it, and maybe when they most need it. A story about second chances, about hope and resilience, and a love that feels both doomed and inevitable.

Unsung Melody (WIP) | @toomanyships-sendhelp

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 177617 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Character Death, AU Slaves, Slow Burn Summary: Dean runs a busy bar and grill in Lebanon, Kansas. Semi-retired from hunting, he'll still catch a case when one blows his way or the urge to hunt strikes him again. It isnt until a case that opened decades ago claims another victim and Dean has to get back in the game a little more than he expected.

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

By that I mean, I want what early SPN did with Dean and John’s relationship.

Like, I grew up in an abusive home and I had never seen abuse on screen in a way that was not Man-Hitting-Woman or Parent-Hitting-Child. Obviouse stuff that is explicit and can’t be talked out of. I had no idea that emotional abuse was a thing.

So here I am, a teen, watching the first season of SPN for the first time and I actually said “Finally a show with a family like mine, none of this lovey fake stuff that shows are always doing. Finally some realistic dynamics.” A normal family. I actually said this out loud.

But later in season 3 when it showed Dean telling his nightmare version of himself that “I didn’t deserve what he put on me, that was his crap” my whole life changed because I suddenly wasn’t the older sibling who had to do everything dad said or my sister or mom could suffer the consequences, I was just a kid. I could suddenly see that the family I had wasn’t normal, it was abusive and controlling because Dean’s wasn’t normal.

The show didn’t play with this theme either. I had always been told that if I was unhappy, it meant I was being ungrateful, and I think you can guess who told me that. So when Bobby said in season 7 “Kids ain’t supposed to be grateful. They’re supposed to eat your food and break your heart” TO HIS ABUSER, it was so profound and obvious how I was being manipulated. I could see what it looked like from an outside perspective and he followed it up by telling his dad how his life was better, and how he managed to help Sam and Dean out of that cycle. I wasn’t stuck where I was!

My media experience was heavily controlled as a child and there would have been no way for me to see that kind of dynamic unless it was disguised as a show about two brothers who hunt monsters. I couldn’t have asked my dad if I could watch a movie that dealt with those kinds of topics bc he wasn’t stupid and that bubble I was in was intentionally designed. But a show about hunting monsters was not a big deal, little did he know.

And I’m not saying that SPN is the best representation, given that the ending was cruel enough to put John in Dean’s heaven, and I’m lgbt so we know that rep on that end is a dumpster fire, but I still think we need more stealth shows. For kids in abusive homes, for kids in the closet, for people who have just never given themselves a chance to see that side of media bc the genres that they like are dominated by cishet misogynistic tropes.

We need stealthy media that can reach kids in those homes without outing them. And the rep needs to be good bc otherwise we get another trash heap that was the SPN finale.

I want more stealthy representation in media