#like. he likes eating out and he likes sucking strap so like. my biggest concern is honestly him being put off by that but it shouldn’t be

[veganhamsalad]

Tmi nsfw in tags just rambling

[botherkupo]

i can’t believe i managed to write a fic. feels like forever. anyway, if you remember my cracky excerpt from sleep-med drugged escapades, this is the finished product

The Martyrdom of Adrien Agreste

summary: In which Marinette is in trouble, and Adrien chooses to make a very stupid noble sacrifice. 

(read on ao3)

-

Whoever said time slows down when facing a life and death situation were idiots. Time doesn’t slow down. It speeds up, up, up, and then Boom! You’re on the spaceship of doom, probably strapped in with people you don’t like, and zooming off to the Land of AKLHDAHGFHAHVAJ. (Translation: a lot of distress.)

So, yes, time did not slow for Adrien. The moment he saw a girl from class 2 approach Marinette and Alya with a container of red velvet cupcakes, he shoved his bag into Nathaniel’s bewildered arms, leaped over a bench, and sprinted over to the group faster than Kim’s attempts to outrun a panther. There was no time to think. No time to do anything except run, run, run.  

“I hope you enjoy them,” the girl said with a nervous smile as she gave Alya and Marinette a cupcake.

Adrien’s heart tattooed an erratic beat against his ribs. His gaze zeroed on the cupcake that now rested so innocently on Marinette’s hand, even as he urged his legs to move faster. Target locked. All he had to do was close the last bit of distance and—

“Yes!” he yelled, snatching the cupcake out of her hand just as she was about to take a bite. Then he crammed the cupcake into his mouth, making his cheeks balloon like a hamster saving snacks for later.

Alya gaped at him. “What the heck, Adrien?”

Marinette simply blinked, one hand still raised near her mouth. It was like watching a person buffering in real time. No Marinette reactions can be streamed at this time. Wifi Sucks. Wait five more seconds.

Or at least that was the thought that drifted through his mind before his mouth was plunged into the burning flames of hell. Consuming. Choking. Little demons stabbed his tastebuds with searing hot pitchforks and poured fire down his throat. His eyes stung. His brain sizzled into a malfunctioning scream of HOT, HOT, HOT!

Damn it, Chloé. This was all her doing. By chance, he’d overheard her big revenge plan to feed chilli paste filled cupcakes to Marinette and Alya. It had been his intention to warn them in advance, but time, as has been established, was not on Adrien’s side. So here he was, eating a chilli paste monstrosity like a seagull gulping down an abandoned chip, determined not to let those pesky pigeons steal his prize. Except, you know, his prize was more like a torture punishment worthy of a Greek tragedy.

But Adrien couldn’t regret his choice. This was all in the name of protecting a friend. He would be the sacrifice, the one to take on the mantle of suffering, so that Marinette could be saved from—

“Wait,” Alya said, scrunching her nose. “Are you crying?”

Marinette immediately stopped buffering. She lurched forward, her hands hovering about him like some weird Jazz Hands interpretation of concern. “Adrien! What’s wrong?”

He coughed for answer. It seemed he was not strong enough to withstand cupcake hell. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks, exposing his no-spice tolerance white boy weakness. But he still managed to swallow the cupcake.

“I’m sorry!” Nervous Girl exclaimed. “Chloé made me do it!”

She scuttled away like a frightened crab.

“Chloé?” Alya said, raising her eyebrows.

“The cupcakes,” Adrien wheezed. “She had them filled with chilli paste.”

Marinette’s eyebrows snapped together. She clenched her fists, her jaw tightening with all the grit of a knight about to go duel-slap a loathed one into battle. It was kinda hot, if he did say so himself. Uh, respectfully hot. Yes. Because friends can find their friends hot. It’s a natural thing. Eyes are there to notice hotness. So yes, he appreciated the feisty sparkle in Marinette’s eyes and the way she looked as if she could stomp even the biggest akuma into submission under her pink ballet flat. It was hot. He was allowed to think of her as hot.

Anyway. His mouth was still burning.

Adrien fanned his tongue, and probably looked ridiculous with tears streaming down his face. “Sorry. I really need water.”

He turned to leave, but Marinette caught his arm.

“Wait,” she said. “Have this.” She handed him her bottle of strawberry milk. “This’ll work better than water.”

“Thanks.”

She smiled. “It’s the least I can do. You saved me from having to eat that cupcake.”

He inwardly preened as he drank the strawberry milk. Yes, he had been a good friend today. Ten points to him.

“Yeah,” Alya said, tossing her cupcake in the bin. “About that. If you knew the cupcakes were filled with chilli paste, why’d you eat it? You could have just told us not to eat them.”

Adrien choked mid-swallow and spat out a spray of strawberry milk. He coughed and coughed, bits of milk trickling out of his nose just to add icing to his shame. This was quite possibly the most humiliating moment of his life. (Even worse than that time Nathalie had caught him hugging and talking to his Ladybug body pillow.) Because Alya was right. There had been no need for him to eat the cupcake. No need to have stolen the cupcake either.

He wasn’t a noble martyr trying to save a friend. He was just an idiot.

“Oh no!” Marinette said, and suddenly she was wiping the milk off his face with a wad of tissues.

Adrien froze. Now he was the one trapped in buffering mode. A wax statue could not have been more still. (And he should know, as he’d once pretended to be one. Of course, then Marinette had said some pretty random things, stolen a strand of his hair, and kissed him, and—)

Pink bloomed on his cheeks in rosy blossoms of warmth. Right. They’d kissed once, albeit the most lightning swift of pecks. Also, she was now patting down his shirt.

He cleared his throat. “Uh, Marinette?”

She jumped. Her gaze darted from his face to her hand, which was touching his chest. Red slapped onto her cheeks.

“Sorry!” she said, leaping back from him like a startled cat. “I midn’t deen to—I mean didn’t mean to do that! I just—it’s just you got milk all over you, and I was the one who gave you the bottle, and your shirt looks expensive, and I knew I had tissues in my purse. But I guess it was weird of me to clean it myself, right?” She laughed loudly. “I mean it’s not like you have no hands. Not that it would be bad if you had no hands! I’m not saying that! I just—”

“Girl, I think he gets the point,” Alya said, much to Adrien’s relief. He hadn’t known how to stop the bullet-rapid flow of words.

“Anyway, I’m sorry!” Marinette said, and shoved the soggy tissues into his hands. “I won’t do it again!”

“It’s fine. I didn’t mind it since it’s you.” His eyes widened. “I mean because you’re my friend!”

“Right. Of course.”

They both gave strained smiles, which was better than continuing to converse their way into deeper holes of awkwardness. Glad she was in agreement with him. Now if only he could stop blushing. He didn’t like the smile that Alya was wearing either. It reminded him of the way Nino looked when watching his favourite comedy show.

“You know,” Alya said, sidling closer and nudging him with her elbow. “You didn’t answer my question. Why’d you eat the cupcake when you knew it was going to be gross?”

Dang it. He thought they’d moved on from this.

He tugged at his collar, his face so warm that he was sure he looked sunburnt. “Um. I guess I panicked.”

Alya snorted. “Seems like it. The way you came running over so valiantly and snatched it right out of her hands. You must have been really, really worried.”

“Well, uh—”

“Funny you only went for Marinette’s cupcake, though. Don’t tell me you were just going to let me eat mine.”

His blush spread to the tips of his ears, and he once more tugged at his collar. Truth be told, he had indeed only been thinking about Marinette in that moment. Alya might as well have been part of the background.

Wow. Now that he thought about it, that was pretty awful. Maybe he wasn’t such a good friend. Minus five points to him.

Alya shook her head, pursing her lips. “I see how it is. Thanks, Adrien. Nice to see how much our friendship means to you.”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just—”

“I’m kidding,” she said with a laugh. “Marinette is just extra special to you, right?”

Marinette let out a squeak. Adrien, on the other hand, was just thankful he wasn’t drinking strawberry milk, as he was pretty sure it would have come shooting out of his nose again. Trust Alya to hit him with a curve ball. Not that Alya was wrong. Marinette was a special friend to him, but for some reason he couldn’t say the words aloud now. Not with Marinette standing right there. Just the thought made his heart beat extra fast.

He cleared his throat. “Um—”

“Oh, look at the time!” Marinette said, glancing at her wrist (even though there was no watch). “We’d better hurry, Alya! Thanks for saving us from the cupcakes, Adrien!”

Then she whisked Alya away like a pink and black whirlwind, despite Alya’s protests. He couldn’t say whether he was relieved or not that he’d been spared giving an answer. All he knew was that he had been given a lot to think about. (Also, that red velvet cupcakes should never be filled with super spicy chilli paste.)

[itspufflehuff]

According to Plan - Bucky Barnes Imagine

Summary: You like Bucky and Bucky likes you. So whats the problem? The answer should be nothing but when Bucky tried to ask you out for Valentine’s Day things dont always go according to plan.

MATERLIST // TAGLIST

Thank you so much @not-another-fangirl​ for putting a request in! I always have fun writing out the ideas you all give me so please if you ever have anymore send them my way! 

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I hope you all have an amazing and safe day with your friends, family, and/or partners! This is one of three imagines I will be posting today.

Word Count: 3,143

~~~~

There was no doubt you and Bucky liked each other. Everyone could see the way he looked at you and you looked at him.

Well everyone except you two.

The moment Bucky saw you he thought you were the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. Then when he saw you fight for the first time it was like Cupid struck him. You were strong, beautiful, smart, and independent. The perfect girl for him.

You read all about the Howling Commandos and Bucky Barnes when you were in school. You saw his pictures and wondered why a man like that couldn't live in your time. Then to your surprise, a man like that was living in your time and it wasn't just any man, but Bucky Barnes himself. When you first met him you played it cool but inside you were screaming with excitement because the man you crushed on from the history books was standing right in front of you.

However despite the lingering looks, the partnering up on missions, and the touched shoulders every time you sat next to each other neither of you could see just how much you liked each other.

This would be your first Valentine's Day as an Avenger. You and all the other single Avengers were planning on spending it together as a group. What Bucky really wanted was to spend it with you alone, but he was too unsure of himself to pluck up the courage to ask you. That was until Steve talked some sense into him, "What is wrong with you?"

Bucky looked at his best friend confused, "Excuse me?"

"There is a beautiful girl a few rooms down who is clearly into you like you're into her, yet you still don't ask her out?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bucky stuttered.

"Oh come on!" Steve threw his arms in the air, "Everyone can see the way you look at each other. You're clearly smitten. You should as her out for Valentine's Day."

"You really think so?" Bucky asked unsurely.

"Yes. You need to ask her out before someone else does."

So he set his plan into motion. Valentine's Day is less than 24 hours away so he'll make the most of the time he's got to ask you to be his Valentine and set up a date.

No pressure.

First up on his checklist: ask you out. As the day went on it turned out to be easier said than done. His first attempt was to send you some chocolates with a note attached. He walked to the nearest store selling boxes of chocolates and picked the biggest of the bunch. When he got back to his room he found some nice parchment paper in one of his drawers, ripped a piece off, and wrote, "Will you be my Valentine? -B" Using one of Tony's robotic helping hands he sent the chocolates to your room. He told the machine to come back to him once it was delivered so he could walk in and ask for your answer.

However, things did not go according to plan. Somehow there was some miscommunication and the chocolates got sent to Natasha's room. Upon reading the letter she assumed the 'B' stood for Bruce. Natasha happily visited him in his lab agreeing to go out with him. Bruce was very confused but decided not to ask questions, whatever happened got him a date so he didn't care!

"I hate technology," Bucky whispered to himself when he saw Natasha eating some of the chocolates on the common room couch.

His second attempt was to buy you flowers and ask you face to face, seeing as how that was the only trustworthy way to get it done. He put on his nicest shirt, making sure to save his fancy outfit for the big day, and went to the florist that happened to be a few streets away. He wasn't sure why but he was not expecting it to be so busy when he got there. Workers were running around to get orders, loading flowers into the back of trucks, and people were trying to cut in the line.

Bucky was ready to walk right out of there but then he thought about you. He sucked in a breath preparing for the chaos inside. The further he walked into the shop he saw the abundance of roses seemingly covering the whole shop. He didn't want to give you the same bouquet every other girl would be getting for Valentine's Day. You weren't like every other girl to him, you were special so he wanted to give you special flowers. The bouquet he picked out for you was yellow poppies with pink coral bells mixed in. He felt so proud of himself and was ready to ask you out.

Confidently Bucky walked back to the tower and straight to your door. He knocked three times and waited as he held the bouquet in his hands and swayed back and forth on his feet.  

When you opened the door you weren't expecting to see Bucky. The only time he went to your room was when he walked you back after training. "Bucky, hi." You smiled at him. Although you weren't expecting him you were glad to see him.

"Y/N, hi. Um, I got brought you some flowers." He said holding them out to you shyly. The moment he saw you all of his confidence flew out the window.

You were so distracted with being happy to see Bucky and excited that he brought you flowers you didn't pay attention to what kind of flowers he brought you. The only thing you noticed was they were yellow and pink. You took them flowers from him smiling as you felt your cheeks heat up, "Thank you Bucky you're so sweet."

"I was also hoping to ask you something."

"Yeah, sure. What is it?" You leaned against the frame of your door as you held the flowers close to you.

He was starting to get nervous and stumbled over his words, "Well you know tomorrow is Valentine's Day, so I was thinking, well hoping actually that maybe-" He didn't get to finish his sentence. When he looked up at you he noticed red blotches on your hands and neck that were definitely not there before. "Are you ok Y/N?" He looked to you concerned.

You were confused about what just happened, "Of course why?" You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head.

He took your hand and laid your palm flat against his, "Look."

Still confused you looked down at your hands finally seeing the rashes. You gasped as your eyes quickly turned to the flowers. "Poppies."

"Please don't tell me you're allergic?" He pleaded.

"Not deathly, I just break out into hives."

He took the flowers from you not wanting to cause any more damage, "I'm so sorry Y/N I didn't know."

"It's ok Bucky, really. But if you don't mind I'm going to shower and put some cream on to get rid of this." You rushed back into your room closing the door.

Disappointed, Bucky walked back to his room setting the flowers down on his desk. He threw himself into bed with a sigh trying to come up with attempt number three.

What would the old Bucky do? He thought himself.

He would just walk up to the girl, flash her a charming smile, and ask her. The old Bucky had no problem with the ladies and he radiated confidence. That's all he needed to do. Be confident. Ask her out. He spent about half an hour building his confidence and hyping himself up. When he was ready he held his head high and walked to his door.

As soon as he opened it he saw you standing there. Your hair was damp and the rashes were fading. You had your hand up ready to knock on the door instead, you were face to face with his chest. You lowered your hand, took a step back, and looked up at him, "Hi, again. I thought I'd stop by so we could finish that conversation we were having before." You smiled sweetly at him.

He chuckled, "Once again I am so sorry. But um," He felt himself growing nervous again so he took a breath in. Confidence. "Tomorrow is valentines day and I would love to take you out as my Valentine."

"Yes. You can pick me up at 7:00." You smiled then turned to walk away. As soon as you got back to your room you jumped in excitement as you silently squealed.

~~~~

That night Bucky called around trying to make last-minute reservations until he finally found a restaurant with open tables at 7:00.

After such a stressful day Bucky needed to let off steam so he headed down to the gym. He didn't even realize how fast time went until two and a half hours later the sun was gone and he was sweating profusely.

He got back to his room and went straight for the bathroom to wash off the days' troubles. As he was getting dressed he looked over to his desk seeing the flowers he got you were gone. He just shrugged it off assuming one of Tony's robots threw it away. He spent the rest of his night planning for the next day and set out his outfit.

He tossed and turned all night too excited to finally be able to take you out.

~~~~

Seven o clock came sooner than expected the next day. Bucky was dressed in his finest clothes, a white button-down long sleeve, a black vest, and black dress pants. Very 1940s fashion.

You wanted to surprise Bucky by wearing something similar to what would be worn in the '40s. You put on an army green dress that was belted around the waist and had a collar at the top. You paired that with tights, or pantyhose as some may call it, and t-strap heels.  You slept with curlers in your hair to get the authentic 1940's curl women had back then. You lightly brushed them out and pinned your hair to the sides.

When Bucky saw you he felt like his breath was taken away. In a way seeing you dressed like that made him feel like he was back in the old days. He was James 'Bucky' Barnes the man who loved to goof off with his best friend and live his life to the fullest, no Bucky who had a dark past and a metal arm to show for it.

He held his arm up for you to take, "Shall we?"

You smiled sweetly at him quickly putting a coat on before lacing your arm with his, "We shall."

Steve let Bucky borrow his motorcycle for the night seeing as how Bucky needed it more than him. Bucky was ready to have a romantic evening with you, that was until you got to the restaurant.

"I'm sorry sir but there is no reservation for a James Barnes." The hostess said.

"Are you sure? I called yesterday, Sydney helped me over the phone."

"Sydney? I'm sorry we don't have a Sydney here. If you don't mind me asking what number did you call? I may be able to help you find the right restaurant."

He pulled his phone out, reading the number back to her. She held back a smile as she spoke, "I am sorry sir, that is a California area code."

Bucky felt his neck heat up and his heart drop. Why can't anything go right? He thought for sure the night was ruined and he would have to find somewhere else to take you or just take you back home.

"Damn, I really hate technology," Bucky said to himself. You stood behind him trying to hold in a laugh at how adorable he looked. You knew he was already embarrassed, you didn't want to make it worse by laughing at him. Instead, you put a hand on Bucky's shoulder feeling the cool metal through his shirt. You moved your hand up to his skin so he could feel you behind him. He turned his head as you stepped forward to speak to the hostess. You leaned close to her so Bucky wouldn't hear you, "I'm not sure if you know but my boyfriend here is a man out of his time." You both giggled, "And clearly has not gotten used to the internet. Is there any way we can take out food instead of dining in?"

You pulled away with your eyebrows raised in question. She thought for a second before she smiled, "I'll see what I can do for you." With a quick wink, she walked into the restaurant.

Bucky wouldn't tell you this but your attempt at whispering failed as he could still hear what you said. He felt his heart flutter when you said 'boyfriend'. When the hostess left he acted like he didn't know what was happening,  "Where did she go?"

"Oh, she just had to grab something from inside." You acted casual.

She came back out about ten minutes later with two bags full of takeout containers, "For the lovely couple."

"Thank you so much!" You smiled at her as Bucky took the food. You were so glad you stashed some cash into the belt of your dress. Taking it out you tried to hand it to her but she waved her hands at you shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. Anything for our favorite heroes."

Thanking her again you and Bucky made your way back to the motorcycle. "Where are we going to eat this?" Bucky laughed.

"In my room duh." You said as if it were obvious.

"How will we take it? Were on a motorcycle."

In response, you opened up the seat of the bike pulling out the folded backpack. "How?" Was all Bucky managed to say.

"Steve always keeps a backpack in here. We just put the food in and I'll wear it."

When you got back to the Avengers tower you and Bucky walked in laughing. You still had the backpack full of food on as you both made your way to the kitchen to grab some plates and utensils.

"What're you two doing back so early?" Steve called out.

"Change in plans we're having a picnic in my room!" You called back.

Bucky held onto the plates with one hand and put the other on your lower back as he walked you to your room.

You walked in feeling giddy about having a picnic. You grabbed an extra blanket from your closet and set it out on the floor. As you did that Bucky looked around your room. His eyes landed on a clear block that stood on your bookshelf. What caught his attention about it was that inside the block looked to be the flowers he gave you yesterday. "Y/N? What's that?" He pointed to it.

Following his fingers, you stopped throwing pillows on the floor and blushed, "Oh. It's the flowers from yesterday. I figured you went through the trouble to get them and they're so beautiful I didn't want them to go to waste. I had Steve get them from your room and I poured resin all over them. This way I can have them and not break out in hives."

His heart warmed. He was glad you liked the flowers so much to keep them preserved in resin.

You sat on the floor first then Bucky followed a bit hesitant.

"I’m sorry, nothing has quite gone according to plan for me. I doubt you've ever had to save your past dates like you did tonight." Bucky joked.

"No," you laughed shaking your head, "but I never cared much for those dates like I do this one."

You started opening up the food containers, setting them up around the both of you to serve yourselves.

"Whoa, it looks like they gave us the house special," Bucky said impressed.

"Anything for their favorite heroes." You quoted the hostess with a playful smile.

"I'm no hero." Bucky shook his head looking down.

"You are to me." He looked up at you with surprise. Ever since he escaped Hydra he wasn't able to see himself as the nice charming man he was before. He liked hearing you call him a hero, even if he didn't believe it.

"So, why did you join S.H.I.E.L.D? Well up until they fell and you became an Avenger." Bucky asked curiously as he started eating.

You let out a small laugh, "Um, well it was actually because of you and Steve."

He tilted his head, "Huh?"

"My parents loved Captain America and his Howling Commandos. I grew up hearing about your heroism, and we learned about it in school too. You guys weren't just about fighting for your country. You were about fighting for people everywhere and doing what's right. Then I read about Agent Peggy Carter. She was the only woman there throughout it all. I wanted to be like all of you. I worked my way up into S.H.I.E.L.D and worked hard alongside Natasha."

"Incredible. You know we would've loved to have you in the Howling Commandos."

"Really?" You said a bit too excited. Bucky noticed this and chuckled, "Yes! You're a great fighter. You have so much heart, passion, and ambition. You probably would've kicked all our asses."

"You're just saying that." You laughed.

"No, I mean it!"

The both of you finished your meal with lots of talking and laughing in between. It was the best date you'd ever been on, even if it took a while to get there. By the end of the night, you were both sitting with your backs against the foot of your bed. Halfway through diner, you put on some jazz music to fill the air as you two talked and it was still playing as you two sat there soaking up the sound. You were so close your shoulders were touching. There was a pillow laying on your lap, on top of that you rested your hands. Your eyes were closed and your head was facing the ceiling. Bucky looked over at you and smiled at how peaceful you looked. He looked down at your hands. You were sitting to the left of him, the side where his metal arm was.  He wanted to hold your hand but was nervous. After debating about it in his mind he reached out and grabbed your hand. You didn't flinch, instead, you interlocked your fingers with his cold ones and smiled still with your eyes closed. Even though he couldn't feel your hand on his he smiled too.

You both sat there for a while hand in hand, eyes closed, enjoying the music and each other's presence. You were the one who finally broke the silence.

"Just kiss me already."

And so he did.

[impala-dreamer]

Crime & Punishment - Chapter Seven

~Y/N breaks one of her biggest rules while in bed with her Sir, and Sam has no choice but to punish her. Luckily for them both, his punishments tend to lean towards the more creative and…exciting.~

Dom!Sam x sub!Reader, Dean

2,578 Words

Warnings: NSFW. Touchless Edging. Knee Riding. Blow Job. Delicious

Series Masterlist ~ My Masterlist ~ Become A Patreon ~ My Original Works on Amazon

Twenty-seven was reached pressed up against the washing machine while she ran a load of whites. Twenty-eight and twenty-nine were immediately after as she sat on top of the dryer. It didn’t take much to get her close, it was almost as if she was constantly right on the edge, and the slightest push or sensation would send her back down into the stunted pleasure that made her mind melt and her lips drool.

Thirty was a total accident, occurring while talking to Sam in the kitchen. She bumped against the edge of the table and gasped as the rounded corner dug between her legs and rubbed right over her clit. Serendipitously, the alarm went off at that moment, so she kept bumping into it, rubbing herself over the edge of the table while Sam chopped veggies for stir-fry that night.

Thirty one was rather difficult. There were only so many things she could use, only so many ways to rub. She’d just about humped every chair in the Bunker, every nightstand and table. Nearing five o’clock and dripping down her thighs, she texted Sam begging him to let her use her hands, or at least one of the toys hiding in their play box.

His answer was a definitive, no.

As her alarm was sounding for the thousandth time, Y/N happened past an empty beer bottle decorating a ledge in the War Room. Making sure she was alone, she silenced her alarm and carried the bottle to the table. She sat in the chair closest to the stairs, aiming it so that she could see if anyone was walking by. Coast clear, Y/N leaned back and spread her legs, hitching the left up high onto the glowing table.

Y/N was hesitant, but she could almost hear the clock ticking. After sucking a bit on the top, she dragged the bottle down across her slit, shivering as the cold glass touched her heat. The contrast made her gasp, the slide of the smooth edge across her clit made her whine, and soon, Y/N didn’t care how weird or dirty it might be, she just needed to be filled up. It had been so long since anything thicker than her fingers had been inside, and at that moment, it didn’t matter what it was, only that it was there and ready.

The bottle went inside easily, neck pushing at her walls, spreading her gently. The lip was rounded and smooth, gently caressing her cunt as she began to fuck herself in ernest. She rocked her hips up into the bottle, pumped her hand in time, shoving it as deep as it would go.

Y/N’s moans filled the cavernous room, bouncing off the warded walls and disappearing down into the hallways. If anyone was nearby, they would have heard her, and oh, what she’d give to have Sam walk in right then.

Sucking in her lip, she opened her hazy eyes and trained them on the entrance to her left, imagining her giant lover suddenly filling the doorway. Would he comment on her choice of instrument, or merely stand, arms crossed, shoulder holding up the wall, watching?

Y/N shuddered at the image and held in a scream as her body tried to release. Quickly, she pulled the bottle away and closed her legs, taking deep, calming breaths until the throbbing ceased.

‘36. Edges. Sir.’

Her text was clipped and went unanswered, but she had obeyed, and that was all he needed to know.

Like a zombie with knees that barely worked, Y/N made her way to the kitchen to toss out her new best friend, and vowed never to speak to anyone about the time she fucked herself on one of Dean’s beloved Margiekugel’s.

Dinner was difficult. Y/N was so strung out and horny that she couldn’t focus to eat, and twice, Sam had to lift her hand and place it on her fock.

Dean watched the goings on with silent glee, amazed that their game was still going on. He toyed with his vegetables, mostly pushing them around on the plate so he appeared to have eaten them while really only picking out the chicken. He couldn’t believe how lost Y/N looked and yet how calm. She seemed drugged, dazed, unable to follow much of the conversation let alone participate in it. Still, she looked happy; a faint smile stuck on her pretty lips, a gentle hum of agreement whenever Sam said anything. It was cute. The collar was a shock, but she acted like it wasn’t even there, so Dean played along, not bringing it up.

When the alarm went off towards the end of the evening, Y/N looked at Sam with worry in her eyes, but he nodded and she was allowed to excuse herself to the bathroom. Much to Dean’s surprise, she never came back.

After dinner, he found himself in the Library, sipping a glass of scotch while playing Cookie Jam on his phone. He was stuck on level ten-forty and it was making him insane. So insane, he hadn’t noticed Y/N skipping down the stairs with a stack of hardcovers in her arms.

“Shit! Come on!”

She turned as he yelled, dumb concern covering her face. “You OK, Dean?” She sounded drunk, her tongue sloppy and loose.

He looked up and laughed at himself. “Yeah, just this stupid game.”

Y/N smiled and stared up at the shelves, trying to go over the alphabet in her head. “What comes after G?” she asked, not even a hint of jest.

Dean’s brow crinkled in concern. “H. Are you OK?”

“Oh, I’m amazing,” she said, barely able to cut off the word at the end. The letters just faded away as she shoved a book into its place on the shelf above her head. “Just feelin’ little stupid.” She stopped to laugh, then looked at Dean, which made her laugh even more. “I think my brains all leaking out of my pussy,” she whispered, cupping a hand to her mouth.

He smiled despite the horror of such an idea. “You’re gonna need a nap,” he said with a laugh.

Y/N shelved another book and let her head roll to the side as she sighed. “I’m gonna need a-”

A buzzing stopped her words and Dean watched as Y/N placed the stack of books down on the floor and silenced the phone that was tucked in her cleavage. Mindlessly and without explanation, she hopped up onto the reading chair next to Dean and tossed a leg over the arm. He watched in awe as she began to ride the arm, rubbing her pussy over the upholstered leather.

“Uh…” He laughed nervously but couldn’t look away, finally deciding he had to know what was going on. “Y/N?”

She moaned and looked up at him, her eyes dark and amazing. “Hmm?”

Dean shivered. “Whatcha doin’?”

Y/N’s tongue hung out of her mouth for a moment as she hit a particularly amazing spot and her body shook with pleasure. “I...I hafta rub but I can’t use my hands,” she whimpered, trying to focus on Dean and her pussy at the same time.

“Wow.” He swallowed hard and shifted in his seat, giving his dick a little more room against his zipper. “That’s...wow.”

“Hafta edge all day…” A growl left her lips and Dean’s jaw dropped.

“Really? Well, that explains it. Lemme guess, every time your alarm goes off?”

She nodded quickly, her bottom lip tight between her teeth. She groaned and pouted in frustration as the chair wasn’t giving her what she needed. Her eyes popped open suddenly and settled on Dean. Before he realized what was happening, Y/N was standing in front of him, her dress wet and nipples hard. He could smell her sex, feel the heat radiating off of her.

Y/N pouted and Dean lost himself in the desperation in her eyes.

“Come on,” he said, sitting back and patting his knee.

To his amazement, Y/N turned and sat on his thigh, straddling him just as she had the arm of the chair. Her back was to him and she dug her fingers into his knee as she began to rub herself on his thick thigh.

“Oh, fuck.” He could feel the denim getting wetter with each bounce, and his cock swelled, trying to reach her delicious ass, so close, yet so far away.

Y/N held on and rode his leg like it was the only thing in the world she needed to do. Breathing wasn’t even a necessity any longer, not when she had Dean’s amazingly thick and muscular thigh to grind down on. She held her breath, cursing silently as her clit began to ache.

Boots echoed through the room and Y/N and Dean both looked up to find Sam in the archway. He stood in the center, arms crossed, eyes glued to the picture in front of him. Y/N paused for a moment, but Sam nodded at both of them, allowing it to continue.

Dean could barely believe what was happening. His dick was full and throbbing and his fingers were aching to touch her. He leaned close and asked them both, his voice loud enough for Sam to hear, “Did he say just your fingers or…?”

Y/N gasped and looked to Sam again, lifting her glassy eyes. Once again, Sam gave his permission with a subtle nod.

“Do it,” she whispered over her shoulder. “Touch me, Dean. Please.” Sam cleared his throat and Y/N corrected herself quickly. “Just not my pussy,” she warned. “That’s not yours.”

Dean growled loudly and agreed with a nod before wrapping his arms tight around her. He sat up, pressing his chest into her back as his lips grazed her bare shoulders. The spaghetti straps of her sundress were no match for his greedy fingers and Dean pulled them down quickly, exposing her bouncing tits to Sam’s authoritative gaze.

“God, you are perfect,” Dean whispered, keeping his voice low, just between them.

Y/N moaned and let her head fall back, finding a cradle in the crook of his neck. His hands were hot as they cupped her breasts, fingers rough and unforgiving as they tugged on her nipples.

Sam kept a close eye on Y/N, waiting for the moment to pull the fun away. Her lips began to shake and her thighs clenched around Dean’s knee, but he let them go a moment longer, wanting her to fight the orgasm away with all of her strength. Thirty-nine edges was quite a feat for three days, but forty would be his. Her orgasm would be his.

Y/N sucked in a deep breath as Dean’s teeth grazed her throat and Sam pulled the plug.

“That’s enough.” His voice rang out through the room and Y/N pulled herself off of Dean, leaving a mess behind on his jeans.

“Jesus, fuck.” Dean breathed out the curse as Y/N left. He looked down at the puddle on his knee and groaned as his cock jerked against his zipper. “Oh, damnit.”

Sam looked to Y/N and pointed at his poor brother. “Take care of him, girl,” he commanded, deep voice steady and firm.

Y/N smiled dumbly and nodded. She spun around, skirt flaring around her bare ass, and sank to her knees, immediately lifting her hands to Dean’s belt.

He startled but lifted his hips, helping her work his jeans open. Once his cock was free, Y/N licked her lips and leaned down, her eyes glued to Dean’s.

“Are you sure?” he asked, looking back and forth between her and Sam.

Sam smirked. “She wants to. It’s fine.”

Y/N gave Dean a silent wink before kissing the tip of his cock and blanking out the rest of the world from his mind.

“Oh, sweet mother of god!” Her mouth was hot and tight, wet and hungry. She took him deep right away and then toyed with him, hands and tongue caressing and teasing every spot that made his breath hitch and his eyes roll. He sank deep into the chair, his bones and muscles melting under her touch, all save one.

Y/N’s eyes rolled back and high as she sucked him down, lovingly swallowing around his cock with each pass. As she got into it, rocking on her hands and knees, her skirt flew up, exposing her soaked cunt to Sam’s watchful eye.

A smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. “Rub,” he commanded, and Y/N obeyed, reaching one hand between her legs to give him another edge while Dean’s cock jabbed at the back of her throat. “Harder.”

Y/N moaned around Dean’s cock as her body shook, out of time and rhythm, rubbing and sucking like a fucking machine.

“Slap it.”

She screamed as her own palm came up, slapping her swollen pussy hard.

“Again.”

The thwack was wet and her moan vibrated through Dean.

“Jesus Christ,” he grit, jerking his hips up into her mouth, fucking her throat deep. Spit ran down from her face, falling from her chin onto her tits and the floor.

“Again!”

Y/N slapped herself once more and her body spasmed as she clamped down on Dean’s cock, lips tighter than ever, her throat constricting around him.

He came like a fountain, shooting a hot stream down the back of her throat, unable to stop it even if he wanted to. He grunted like a caveman and gripped the arms of the chair, holding on as his body let go.

Sam watched as his good girl stopped rubbing and sat up, drinking Dean down and massaging his thighs as he relaxed.

Sitting back on her heels, Y/N licked him gently until he was soft and overly sensitive, only leaving him alone once Dean waved her off, groaning.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand down his thigh. He leaned forward, trying to reach for her, but she was too far. His fingertips brushed her cheek, patting gently, and Y/N smiled proudly.

Sam’s voice broke through the glowing moment, bringing Y/N back into her task. “Number?”

Y/N sat up straight and let out a deep, calming breath even as her body surged with pride. “Forty edges, Sir.”

“Very good,” he said, turning away from the scene. “Go clean up. It’s almost bedtime.”

She nodded and stood up, squeezing Dean’s knee as she did and giving him another wink. “Yes, Sir.”

Sam was already gone and Dean grabbed her hand as she turned, pulling her back a bit. She nearly took a tumble in her heels, falling backwards and landing on his knee once more. His jeans were still soaked and the cold startled her.

“Dean,” she smiled, twisting her hand from his. “I gotta go.”

“I know,” he said, lips plump from biting, shining with spit. He looked her over, moaning under his breath as he saw the damp circles on her dress from where she’d drooled. “I just wanted-”

Y/N leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. “You’re welcome.”

Dean closed his eyes and took a breath, drinking in her scent and heat, filing it all away for later. “Thank you.”

She was gone when he opened his eyes, the click of her shoes echoing as they disappeared down the hallway.

[andinewton]

So, here’s that oneshot I mentioned last night.  It’s just tooth-rotting fluff, plain and simple, and I hope you enjoy it!  I’m tempted to carry this one on, and in fact, I could link all my Victor onshots into one big story, as that’s what they are in my head!  Anyways, enjoy!

Beautifully proofread/checked over by my gorgeous eldest daughter, @mrslancemcclain.  And just to confirm what she checked; the trademark is deliberate!

MLQC - Telling Victor

You were nervous.  Actually, scratch that, you weren’t nervous, you were HECKING nervous.  You had been having meetings with Victor for years.  You had had dinner with Victor hundreds of times.  You had breakfast with him whenever he was in the country…mostly because you all but lived at his house with him now, but that was beside the point.  Today, you were nervous, and there was no getting around it.

You were a couple™.  Everyone knew the legendary CEO of LFG had been dating a producer for well over a year, Victor proudly showed you off at events for the press and business associates alike, smiling smugly that you were his and his alone.  Except, now you weren’t.  And you had to tell him.

His flight was due in at midday and you had messaged him, carefully avoiding the cliched and easily misinterpreted; we need to talk.  So you told him you wanted to see him as soon as you could.  You were sure he looked at the message and muttered dummy before replying, but you did get a message back, saying to come to his office at three that afternoon.  Which was why at 2.50pm you found yourself staring up at the building with the biggest butterflies you had ever felt doing laps in your stomach.

‘Come on, don’t make me feel any more sick than I already do.’  You grumbled to yourself before setting your shoulders and walking in the front door.

You had dressed up, you hated to admit it but you wanted Victor to realise you had made an effort for him.  Your makeup was as perfect as you could get it, subtle pastel to match the white dress with pink floral print you wore.  The skirt floated around your knees, your heels clicking on the marble floor as you made your way to the elevator, waving a greeting at the receptionist as you always did.

You fiddled with the strap of your bag as you watched the numbers go up on the display.  Why did the boss always have to be on the top floor?  It just made going all that way up more nerve-wracking, as though you weren’t in a state already.  You smiled at people who got in and out on your ride up but it failed to meet your eyes.  You wondered if they noticed, logically knowing they probably had more important things to worry about than if their boss’ girlfriend smiled properly at them, but you still felt bad for not putting all your effort into it.

Finally the elevator sounded its arrival and you walked towards Goldman, who glanced up from his work to give you a warm smile.  ‘Hi, MC, long time no see.’

‘It has been over a week.’  You replied, finally able to smile properly at Goldman, if only for the moment.  ‘How have you been?’

‘Productive.’  He leant forward conspiratorially and you laughed.  It was an in joke for the pair of you, that Victor being away made you more productive as though he wasn’t breathing down your neck, and it had carried on even now that you were in a relationship.  You appreciated that things hadn’t changed.

‘Same.’  You replied.  ‘Can I go straight in?’

‘Sure, I know he’s looking forward to seeing you, even if his face doesn’t show it.  Can I get you anything to drink?’

You shook your head.  ‘I’m good.  Thanks though.’

‘Let me know if you change your mind.’  He pressed the intercom and was greeted with a terse; yes? From Victor.  ‘MC is here.’

‘Then send her in.’

Goldman waved his hand towards the office door with a flourish and you mouthed a quick thank you to him before heading in.

‘There she is.’  Victor’s voice was warm when he greeted you but he didn’t look up, finishing whatever work was on his desk.

‘Here I am.’  You shrugged, even though he wasn’t looking at you.

‘Sit.’  He waved his fountain pen at the seat in front of him without a glance your way and you did as he asked with a small sigh.

You weren’t sure if you were glad you had a reprieve of a few minutes or unhappy you couldn’t just get it over with.  Your mind was working overtime with potential outcomes of this conversation, most of them not good, so you decided the latter was more accurate.  You bounced your leg out of pure tension, fingers now rubbing the soft material of your dress between them as your bag was on the floor.

‘I missed you.’  Victor said before putting the lid on his pen and finally looking at you.  ‘Are you alright?’  His smile quickly morphed into a concerned frown as he took in the expression on your face.

‘Me?  I’m fine.  How are you?  How was your flight?’  You garbled out a quick reply which did nothing to alleviate the worry in his eyes, more added suspicion to them.

‘Okay, spill it.  What’s bothering you?’

‘I’m not bothered.’  You laughed nervously.

‘Riiiiiight.’  He got up and came around the desk, sitting on the edge in front of you with one leg on the floor, arms folded.  ‘I have nowhere else to be.  You can either tell me and we move on or we wait all afternoon for you to figure out whatever it is that isn’t bothering you.’

You huffed out a breath then sat up straight.  You knew Victor didn’t appreciate beating around the bush but you had to say a couple of things first.  ‘I missed you too, by the way.’  You replied to his earlier statement.  ‘And you know that I love you, right?’

‘Of course.’  His brows knitted further at the strange way you were going about expressing your affection.  ‘Just like I love you.’

‘Okay, good, good.’  You nodded a couple of times.  ‘Because I really like this.  Like us.’

‘Do you think I forgot that fact on a three day business trip?  Trust me, I know you’re happy.  You’re easy to read…most of the time.’

‘You can’t read me right now?’  You narrowed your eyes, wondering just what he was seeing as he hadn’t figured it out.  At least, you didn’t think he had.

‘I can tell something is bugging you, something you’re struggling to tell me.  You don’t look guilty, like you do when you rush your report but claim to have put in weeks of work.  Or when you eat the last pudding and won’t admit it.’  You gave a small laugh as just how well he knew you sank in.  ‘Which means it’s something else, I just can’t put my finger on what it is.’

‘I don’t think you’ll guess it.’  You smiled apologetically.

‘I might.’

‘I’m pregnant.’

Victor’s face froze for a moment, unblinking and unmoving until it seemed he suddenly reanimated, unfolding his arms before immediately folding them again.  ‘You’re right, I wouldn’t have guessed that.’

You swallowed hard.  ‘You’re not mad, are you?  Because I didn’t do this on purpose, you know I’m on the pill, and I didn’t miss any, or take any medication to mess with them, but they’re only like ninety-nine percent accurate and I guess I fell into that one percent because it’s happened, and why aren’t you saying anything?’

Victor took in a long slow breath, releasing most of it before speaking.  ‘Because you’re not giving me a chance to get a word in edgeways.’  He got off the desk and crouched beside you, taking both of your hands in his.  ‘I’m not mad.  It’s going to take some getting used to, but definitely not mad.’

‘You’re sure?’  You asked quietly, your voice filled with emotions.

‘I’m sure.’  He nodded before kissing the back of each of your hands in turn.  ‘How far along are you?’

‘By the math the doctor did, ten weeks.  It’s still early, but my pants are already getting tight.’

‘I’ll buy you more pants.’  He laughed, loving how you focused on the strangest things.  ‘But that doesn’t give us too much time.’  Getting to his feet he went back around the desk and opened a drawer.

‘Much time for what?’  You looked at him in confusion as he came back towards you.

‘To organise a wedding.’  He opened the small box he had hidden in his palm and showed you a beautiful sapphire ring surrounded in diamonds and set in a platinum band.  ‘The business trip was just an excuse to go collect this from the jeweller I commissioned this from.’

‘Wait, what?’  Your confusion grew, as did your eyes, your brain trying to process just what was happening.  ‘What?!’

‘Idiot.’  He chuckled.  ‘Does this clear things up?  I want to marry you, and wanted to ask you to be my wife before you told me what may just be the best news I’ve ever had.  So, what do you say?  Am I putting this ring on your finger or did I just waste a few days of my time as well as a few weeks of the artisan’s?’

‘You suck at proposing.’  You sputtered as your ever fluctuating hormones drew tears to your eyes.

Victor rolled his eyes but obligingly got down on one knee and took your hand in his.  ‘MC, you are an absolute dummy, but so am I for waiting so long to do this.  Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’

Your bottom lip trembled and your voice came out high pitched.  ‘Well, now you made me cry!’

‘That’s not a yes.’  He reminded you impatiently.

‘Yes!’

The fact you had managed to utter the word in a tone that you would assume only dogs could hear didn’t stop him from sliding the ring onto your finger, fitting perfectly by some miracle, and he shifted to both knees before pulling you by the hips into his lap and kissing you firmly.

‘Come on, don’t cry.  You’ll confuse the kiddo.’  He stroked your back reassuringly as you laugh-cried in response.

‘I don’t think the baby knows what’s going on, because I sure as hell don’t.’

‘You never know what’s going on.’  He wiped at the tears on your cheeks softly.  ‘How about we go celebrate somewhere nice?’

You narrowed your eyes at him, suspicious of the way he said it.  ‘Where did you have in mind?’

‘Our place.’  He grinned as he effortlessly stood with you in his arms.  ‘Because as of right now you live there too.’  He pressed the button on the intercom before sitting in his chair with you on his lap.

‘Yes, sir?’  You heard Goldman say as Victor curved his arms fully around you and cuddled you in close.

‘Find a removals company who are available asap.’

‘A removals company, sir?’  Goldman’s confusion was evident.

‘That’s right.  She said yes.’

‘That’s wonderful news, sir, I’ll…’

Victor cut him off and reached up, cupping your face in his palm and stroking your cheek with his thumb.  ‘Are you ready to go home, my bride to be?’

You sighed contentedly, leaning into his hand, eyes closed.  ‘I am, but I have just one question.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Where are we going to put all the little knickknacks you’ve bought me from around the world?  I’m pretty sure they’ll look out of place at Li Manor.’

‘We can put them in the baby’s room.’  He leant forward and stole another kiss.  ‘As a tribute to our love story.’

[marinaaniseed]

Dark ‘n’ Stormy: Pt. 2

We have a title.

A/N: No full-on fucking, but plenty of smut. Honestly, I would NOT show this to my mother. Half the length of the last one, so I’m getting *slightly* better at being concise. Does contain promiscuity, self-loathing and self-esteem issues. Picks up exactly where Pt.1  left off.

Why were you so bothered by him? You’d done plenty of fucking and sucking during the post-snap years, taking what you wanted and giving nothing of yourself in return. Running away to the next town, the next shitty job when anybody got too close for comfort. You’d loved and you’d lost and you didn’t want to go through that again, ever.

But that feeling in your stomach wasn’t yesterday’s beer.

It was something worse.

It was actual feelings, emotions.

You liked him. Not in a purely platonic way, and not in a purely lustful way. You weren’t sure you had the strength for this but you had to address it, whatever this was, or your employment situation would rapidly become untenable. Just as a wound will fester if it’s left, skirted flirtations and unsaid feelings tend to poison a relationship. Especially when the feelings are one-sided. Time to be brave, be bold. Rip the plaster off quickly before the pain can set in.

You finished lolling on the bed, flinging yesterday’s clothes back on. You’d worry about a change of underwear later. Thor was already in position, fixated by his game, so you moved past him and headed straight to the kitchen. You ripped open the box of frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts, shoving them in the toaster. If Thor was paying any attention to you, he’d probably wonder what you were angry about. You weren’t angry, or at least only angry at your own heart for being a little traitor. You were a tightly wound coil of nervous energy. The toaster couldn’t pop up quick enough. When it finally did, you startled a little. Oh, for fuck’s sake, you thought to yourself. Get a grip, you’re not 12. You threw the sugary snacks onto a plate and began your advance.

Thor finally noticed you when you were around a foot away.

“Good morning, y/n,” he said, removing a hand from the controller to take the plate from you.

The movement of his arm was enough to give you an opening. You slid past his outstretched hand and onto his lap, straddling his thick thighs.

“Wh-what are you doing?” he asked, as you placed the Pop-Tarts on the arm of the settee.

Good question, you thought. If you go for a hat-trick of startling Thor into swift escapes, you’re going to go flying. It was an odd dichotomy thinking about how this gentle giant, who only displayed kindness and shyness to you, could if he wanted, send you hurtling into the next room without breaking a sweat.

“We need to talk,” you said, holding onto the back of the settee, one hand either side of Thor’s head.

“About what?”

“I know you caused that storm on purpose to keep me here last night.”

You tried to meet his gaze but he couldn’t look at you. He was ashamed that you’d caught him so easily.

“I’m not angry, if you want me to stay, you can just ask. What I want to know is this: what is going on? Because it looks like you want to be more than just my friend but then you run away whenever I initiate contact.”

“I…” Thor can’t find any words to say. His cheeks feel hot, they must be the same shade as his cape. He could get out of this situation if he wanted to but apparently, his body doesn’t want him to, so it just stays there, rooted to the cushions he wishes would swallow him whole. Over a thousand years old and he’s completely flummoxed by a Midgardian woman sitting on his lap.

“I don’t think you’d want me,” he eventually forces out.

“What makes you say that?”

His only response is a vague gesture, controller still in hand, to his stomach.

“I’m not going to beat about the bush unless that’s what you’re into,” you say with a smirk. “You’re hot and I want to make out with you. But if that’s not what you want, that’s fine.”

Thor finally looks up at you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone look so confused. It’s like your words have short-circuited his brain. He’s just frozen, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape.

This was not the reaction you’d hoped for. It’s neither a yes nor a no. You decide to try a different approach.

Your hands move down to the hem of your top, pulling it up and over your head before you discard it on the rug at Thor’s feet.

“You don’t have to do this, y/n,” he says, trying to look anywhere but at your breasts. He knows he won’t be able to contain his arousal and you’re practically sat on top of it already.

“I know I don’t. I’m doing it because I want to. I want you to look, I want you to feel me.” Your hands return to their grip on the back of the settee. You lean forward, arching your back so that the end of his braided beard is tickling your skin just above the edge of your bra cups.

Thor lets out a small, frustrated noise. You’re making this hard for him, in more ways than one. Yes, he wants to look at you, to feel you, to kiss you. But the fear is there, that despite what you’ve said, you’ll somehow find him lacking. It takes all of his strength to squash that thought and turn his face to you. Or more accurately, to your cleavage.

His nose settles between your breasts. He closes his eyes and settles there. You’re warm and welcoming, he can hear your heart hammering away as hard as his own. You smell faintly of oakwood absolute from the bath yesterday and he inhales deeply, trying to calm himself. You loop a hand into his hair, trying to encourage him to keep going. He finally lets go of the controller and moves his hands to your hips to steady you.

Thor explores gently, at first, pressing tickly kisses to your chest, inching slowly up to your collarbone. At the hollow of your neck is where his kisses become fiercer. His hands move to your back, pulling him to him, and he nips and sucks insistently at your neck. He takes your gasps and moans as approval, biting hard on both sides before moving up to your ears. His hot breath makes you gasp his name and sends a shiver down your spine. You can feel the hairs on your bare arms standing on end. You bring the hand not in his hair to cup his chin, guiding him towards your lips.

His facial hair is scratchy and a little tickly, but you don’t care. You’re glad to finally be making that connection. His lips are soft, pink and plump, like marshmallows, and just as sweet. Your tongue tests the seam of his lips and he lets you in, taking you deeply. It’s been a long time since you experienced a kiss like this, potent with passion from both sides. Thor is running his hands along your back, pressing you into him with a sense of urgency. Your hands are wandering, caressing his cheek and pulling his hair. He returns the favour, lacing his fingers through your locks, pressing you into him. The kisses are getting sloppy and you don’t care. Thor unclips your bra with surprising deftness.

You pull away from him and shrug the straps off, exposing yourself to him. The t-shirt bra, worn for comfort rather than seduction joins your top on the floor.

A rumbling growl escapes his lips as he takes you in. He knows he should feel a bit ashamed of the state he’s left your neck, the deep damson red mottling your skin like a series of wine stains. But he can’t feel ashamed, not now. He grabs hold of your thighs and stands up, carrying you like you weigh nothing. The plate of Pop-Tarts crashes to the floor.

You wrap yourself around him as best you can, you know he can support you but it’s instinctual to grip his sides with your thighs, limbs tangling up him like vines climbing up an oak.

He lowers you gently onto the bed and lays down beside you, the tip of his nose touching yours. Neither of you wants to make the first move. You’re making progress and you don’t want to ruin it. Thor, for his part, isn’t sure how to proceed. He wants to take you but he doesn’t want to hurt you. He’s changed since the last time he was intimate with another.

You giggle at him and give him a swift peck, bringing him back to the here and now. Your hand slips down to his crotch and you’re pleased to find him already hard. Pleased and a little concerned. Your quip about men with big feet appears to be true. You run your hand up and down over his jogging bottoms. He gasps in surprise and pulls you to him for another kiss. You increase the pressure on his erection incrementally until he can’t stand it any longer.

“I need to get out of these damn clothes,” he huffed, yanking down the constricting garments and freeing his hard-on.

“Fuck me,” you gasped as you caught a glimpse of it. This was by no means the first cock you’d seen, but it was certainly the biggest. It made sense you reasoned, the rest of him was long and girthy, so why not this bit? You hoped he wasn’t the kind who thought a big dick was all you needed. That’d be a disappointment if he was a thrust-until-he-came guy, without any regard for your needs.

“Well, I mean, I think that’s the plan,” Thor laughed nervously in response.

You decided to match him and shuffled out of your jeans, hoping he hadn’t noticed how damp your knickers already were. Thor slipped off his cardigan but his top remained in place.

“C’mon Thor, let me see you. All of you,” you urged him, reaching for the hem of his top. “If I’m letting you see my thunder thighs, I should be able to see your tummy.”

“Your what? Thunder thighs?” he laughed, deflecting the conversation away from himself. Your thighs look lovely to him, he can’t wait to get between them. The little marks look like fingers of lightning but other than that, he can’t understand the reference to thunder.

“You know, chunky thighs that rub together when you walk. Look at them, they look like hams.”

“They do not. And even if they did, ham is great. It’d just make me want to eat them more.”

“You can’t eat my legs,” you laughed, tugging at his t-shirt.

“Oh? Is that so?” he smirked, diving towards your lap, biting, sucking, kissing all over your thighs. “You said they were thunder thighs. I’m the god of thunder so they’re my thighs now. And I want to eat them.”

“No, no,” you said, pushing his head away. “Not until you’re undressed.”

With a pout and a sigh, he turned around and pulled off his top, letting it drop by the side of the bed. He could see himself in the full-length mirror. He’d forgotten that even existed, having long since let it be buried under layers of dust. The only thing he’d used it for in years was for draping his cape over when he couldn’t be bothered to hang it properly. Apparently, you’d unearthed it and cleaned it up. How had he not noticed that? He supposed he was so used to everything being a mess that he’d tuned it out, didn’t even bother to look in that corner anymore.

You, too, could see him in the mirror. You saw him frown and poke himself in his soft stomach. Standing slowly, you walked in front of him to stand between him and the mirror.

“Thor. I know you don’t like what you see but I do. Let me touch you. Please?”

He grumbled a little but lay back. You still hadn’t run away so you either did find him attractive or were doing this out of pity.

You laid down next to him, stroking his hair. It was much softer than it had been before you washed it. You nuzzled into the side of his neck, nibbling and kissing at him. Not as hard as he’d done it to you, but with enough of a bite to let him know you were there. A long, drawn-out ‘Oh’ spilt from his lips, encouraging you to be rougher. Your hand moved from his hair, stroking his cheek and his neck, before landing on his chest. Spreading your fingers through the hair, you moved close to his nipple but not quite enough to arouse him, yet. He moans as you leave your mark on him, a deep bruise to rival the ones he gave you.

With sloppy kisses and sharp bites, your mouth trailed down to his chest and his pert nipples. Based on his reaction yesterday, you knew he was going to like this. You flicked your tongue over the one nearest to you, while your index finger lazily circled the other.

Thor could barely breathe. Was he dying? Was this Valhalla? He didn’t know, he just didn’t want you to stop. He hoped his breathy moans and guttural groans were letting you know just how much he was enjoying it.

The tongue on his nipple was replaced by your lips sucking, the finger circles intensifying when you changed from the pad of your finger to the tip of your nail. Just as he was beginning to get himself under control, you kicked it up a notch again. You bit his nipple just hard enough to send a jolt of pleasure and pain through him, your fingers tweaking and twisting the other.

Were all Midgardian women like this? If they were, he’d been missing out. No. Wait. Jane hadn’t been like this. He was so lost in the feel of your mouth on him, he didn’t even mind when your fingers danced away and landed on his stomach.

Your mouth soon followed, kissing all over. He hadn’t realised how sensitive his stomach was now and how good it felt as you worshipped him. He even managed to laugh as your nose dipped into his navel. You took him in hand so you could continue kissing down his soft underbelly.

Thor could barely contain himself. He could feel your hot breath against his cock as your lips pressed down everywhere but there. This was the most delightful torture, he wanted to be inside you so badly but he wasn’t going to force you to do anything. You clearly knew what you were doing and had made it your personal mission to tease him until he could no longer focus on anything else.

He parted his thighs a little as your hungry mouth travelled further down his body. One hand remained rubbing his cock, while with the other you began raking your nails down his inner thigh. Oh Norns, if he’d thought the rest of him was sensitive to your touch, he inner thigh surpassed it all. He tried to tell you that it was too much, that he couldn’t hold on, but then you started sucking a deep love bite on his thigh and that was it.

His legs trembled violently beneath you and you heard him gasping curses. You realised too late what you’d set in motion and looked up in time to see him coating his rounded tummy with cum. He was certainly a sight to behold, sticky, sweaty and smiling, covered in the marks of your affection.

You sat back and licked him off your fingers. Warm, salty, and satisfyingly savoury. Like liquid umami, it had you wanting another taste. For a moment you toyed with this idea of licking him clean, before concluding that might perturb him.

The smile soon turned to a frown, his brow furrowed as he realised quite what had happened.

“Oh Norns, I’m so sorry y/n. I’m not normally like that, you have my word. What you were doing felt so good and it’s been so long and I just couldn’t stop and…”

“Shh, shh. It’s alright,” you tried to reassure him, seeing the panic, the disappointment, in his eyes.

“But I’ve let you down…”

“No, no you haven’t. I’m pleased to have had that effect on you. We’ve got plenty of time to explore each other. For now, you look like you need a cuddle.” You moved to sit with your back to the headboard. “C’mere. Please?” You patted the bed next to you.

Thor hauled himself onto his elbows and shuffled up to you, trying not to get his spunk on the bedding. He felt ridiculous, covered in his own seed, traitorous cock resting limply against his thigh. But you’re right. He needs a cuddle. Wants a cuddle. So he rests his head on your chest and lets you wrap your arms around him. At some point, he’ll let you use him as a cushion but he’s feeling a little broken and like he’s failed you. It’s like being a teenager again and having no control over himself.

“May I ask you something?” you said, as you ran your hand down his still muscular bicep.

“Certainly.”

“How long has it been?”

“A long time. Before the snap, before Asgard fell,” he replied with a sigh. “I was too busy, trying to fight, to protect. Not that it mattered.”

“It mattered, of course it did.”

“And then since the snap, nobody’s wanted me.”

“Nobody wanted you or nobody was allowed to get close?”

“Both, I suppose. I could’ve demanded, as their king, that somebody lay with me but that’s not right. You shouldn’t force people into doing things because they think it’s their duty. I might only have one real eye, but I’m not blind. I see how people look at me. They don’t see any of the good things I’ve done. They just see a fat, stupid drunk. A joke who can’t run a bath let alone a kingdom. A failure who should’ve gone for the head.”

His voice is cracking and the tears are falling onto your breast.

“Hey, hey. It’s ok,” you try to soothe. “I know how it feels to hate yourself. I know your brain is telling you otherwise but that’s not all people think of you. It’s not what I think of you. People’s memories aren’t so short that they forget everything else you’ve done. One mistake - and it was a mistake, how were you supposed to know? - doesn’t erase everything else. You’ve done more good since you became an Avenger than most people could manage in a hundred lifetimes. I like you. Nothing I’ve seen so far has made me think anything less of you.”

“But I’m not the man I used to be,” he sniffled.

“Thor, none of us are who we used to be. That’s how we grow as people. After everything that’s happened, I’d be concerned if you hadn’t changed a bit.”

“But you know what I used to be like.”

“Only in the sense that I knew what you looked like in news footage. I didn’t know you. But I’d like to.”

You pulled him closer to you, rubbing his arm, hoping that you’re making some small dent in just how crap he feels.

“Thank you,” he mumbled after a while.

“For what?”

“For how you treated me. I’ve been so scared and ashamed to touch myself since...everything. But I really enjoyed that.”

I could tell, you thought, but had enough not common sense not to say it.

“I understand. When my depression is at its worst, I don’t have any desire to be intimate. By myself or with anyone. And if it does somehow happen, it’s just going through the motions. It doesn’t feel right.”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean just that. My whole body, how you took the time to lavish attention everywhere. Nobody’s done that before. Not even when I was attractive.”

“You’re attractive now. Honestly. I wouldn’t be here, naked on your bed if I wasn’t attracted to you.”

“Well, no. I guess not,” he admitted.

“And I’ll just have to keep smothering you with kisses until you believe me. Besides,” you added with a grin, “aren’t us mortals supposed to worship gods like you?”

This makes him laugh. A full, booming belly laugh that makes him jiggle all over.

“I think we should get you cleaned up and see if I can give you some more adoration, I think I missed some bits.”

That’s the best idea Thor’s heard in a long time.

@morganhoran1671 As promised, here it is.

[buckys-other-punk]

Honey, Bee Careful

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky plans a road trip with his son and it gets a bit hectic.

Warnings: fluff, bees?(idk if thats a warning but yeah…) and like one cuss word

Word Count: 1,757

A/N: I back! Hello! Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I have major writer’s lock for my jealous series. So this is a little one-shot to help me start writing again. This one-shot is inspired by a story someone told me. 

Tags: @caplansteverogers @hollycornish @carabarnes13@ohmyjack @sebtheromanianprince@flirtswithdanger @aquabrie @amour-quinn @incoherent-smiles-deactivated @rocketqueeens@anbrax5553 @lloeppky @shayla-markele @pdy93 @chrys-1029@lostinthoughtsandfeelings @dani-si @httpmcrvel @101killer @sarahp879 @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179@kaleidoscopez96

tags with this means they didn’t work sorry :( 

===============================================

Y/N’s POV

So today, little Lucas and Bucky are going on a boy’s trip to the woods. Bucky said he wanted to do some father son bonding time and what better way to do that then go camping. He also said it would be a good way for me to relax and enjoy myself a bit before this new baby comes into in a couple months. While I prepare some snacks for my boys I feel a pair of hands on my slightly swollen belly.

“You need any help?” Bucky asks me with his head on my shoulder.

I shake my head no and reply, “I think I got all the snacks ready. Did you double check everything?”

“Yes and stop worrying! I got everything!” he replied with a smile. As I turn I put my arms on his shoulders, placed my forehead up to his and kissed his lips. He smiled, kissed back and right when he was about to deepen the kiss, tiny footsteps was heard coming from behind Bucky. We pulled away and looked at Lucas who was wearing a bright orange vest with a dark green shirt inside and jeans. He was carrying his cute bear backpack that was bigger than he was smiling at us.

“Are we going now daddy?” he asked innocently. I looked at Bucky with a smile and he returned it with a chuckle.

“Yeah pal we’re gonna go right now. Did you get all your stuff?” he asked the 4 year old. Lucas nodded happily and headed to the front door. He sat on the floor putting on his tiny strap on shoes. Bucky gave me a peck on the cheek as he got all of their stuff heading to the door and placing the bags in the car. I put the rest of the snacks and drinks in the cooler and walked over to Lucas who was struggling on putting his shoes on. As i looked down at my son I noted he put his shoes on the opposite foot. I giggled and helped him with his shoes. I carried him to the car on my left with the cooler resting on my right shoulder. I placed Lucas in his car seat strapping him in and placed the small cooler in the passenger seat. After that I went behind to the trunk of the car to check up on Bucky. He finished putting the last bag in and closed the trunk. He turned to me and gave me one last kiss.

“You better drive carefully or I swear Barnes I will hurt you.” you warned him with a serious face.

He smiled and said, “Of course I’ll drive carefully. Like I said earlier don’t worry about us. You take care of yourself Mrs. Barnes.” I sighed and hugged him. I walked to where Lucas was and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

“You have fun with daddy ok Lucas.” you said to your baby boy. He nodded and smiled. You closed his door and Bucky pulled the car out of the driveway rolling the windows down so Lucas can see you. Bucky honked the horn and Lucas waved bye to you and they were off. You waved them goodbye and smile to yourself as you walked towards the house. “I’m gonna order some pizza.” you said to yourself while entering your house.

Bucky’s POV

As Bucky was driving down the highway he looked in the rearview mirror checking up on Lucas. The toddler was looking out the window pointing at all the cows they were passing. The windows were still down and the wind was blowing Lucas’ hair all over the boy’s face. Out of nowhere Lucas starts screaming and Bucky was shocked for a bit.

“What’s wrong bud?” he asked concerned looking quickly back at his son.

“There’s a bee in the car!” Lucas screamed with a few tears in his eyes. Bucky’s eyes widened a bit, but remained calm for the sake of his son. You see Lucas was screaming at the bee because he knew he was allergic. Bucky had brought Lucas’ epipen with him, but unfortunately it was in the very back of the car. He couldn’t pull over due to the shoulder of the highway being closed. So being the fearless dad he was Bucky caught the bee with his right hand while his left had was still on the steering wheel. Lucas was still scream crying in his car seat.

“Hey, buddy its ok see I got the bee it won’t hurt you.” Bucky said calmly with his eyes focused on the road.

Lucas was still crying and said, “But what if it stings me.”

Bucky smiled at his innocence and opened his hand to release the bee. Lucas again screamed as the bee flew out the window. “It’s ok Lucas. The bee won’t sting you because it already stung me.” Bucky said calmly quickly glancing at the boy. Lucas looked at his dad as he wiped his tears with a sniffle. Bucky pulled up to a diner, got out of the car and walked over to where his son was seated. He unstrapped his son from the car seat and carried him to the diner locking the car at the same time. “You want a milkshake to help you calm down a bit?” he asked his son, who replied with a small nod. Bucky smiled and the two were placed in a booth and ordered a chocolate milkshake and some fires. As they were finished up their milkshakes Lucas looked over at his dad.

“Can we go home?” the toddler asked his dad. Bucky sighed looking down at the boy.

“Are you sure you want to go home Lucas? We haven’t even made it to the camping site.” he asked the boy. Lucas nodded yes in reply with the most adorable puppy dog eyes, which eventually got to Bucky and agreed with the boy. “Well I guess we can go camping with mommy next time.” he said with a smile. Bucky took Lucas out of the booth and the pair walked to the register. As Bucky was paying Lucas looked at all the postcards that were on a rack and picked one up.

He carried it over to his dad and asked “Can we get this for mommy?” Bucky looked at the postcard chuckling a bit. 

“There isn’t another one you want to give your mom?” he asked the boy which he replied with a no. Bucky sighed knowing he was going to get hell for this and bought the card. The two went back to the car and headed back home.

Y/N’s POV

You were sitting on the couch eating the final piece of pizza (a/n: thats right. You ate an entire box a pizza lol youre pregnant of course you gotta eat. You are feeding yourself and a baby lol. ok.. sorry, back to the story) as you watched some tv. You heard the doorbell ring and four knocks on the door. “I wonder who that could be?” you said aloud walking towards the door. You unlocked and opened the door. Suddenly you were attacked by tiny arms wrapping around your legs. You were a bit drawn back as you saw Bucky standing in front of you with a small smile. Looking down you saw you son hugging your legs and looking up at you. You smiled and picked up your son to carry him and kiss his cheeks.

“What are you guys doing back to soon?” you ask the two as you all entered the house.

“There was a bee in car!” Lucas yelled at you and your eyes went wide. You put your son down and checked him to make sure he was ok.

“It’s fine he wasn’t stung. I made sure of it.” Bucky said sending a wink to the little boy who smiles at him.

“I’m fine mommy, daddy saved me from the bee.” Lucas said innocently. You signed and gave you son a hug.

“Don’t scare me like that ok Lucas. You could have gotten stung.” you said calmly to your child holding onto him like you life depended on it and kissing all over his face.

“Hey! I’m the one who got stung here. I should be getting those hugs and kisses.” Bucky said pouting looking at the two of you. You sighed knowing that he did let the bee sting him and not your child so you walked over to him and pecked his lips. Bucky smiled and said “That’s all I get?”

“Yes because your son deserves all the attention right now. You know he’s allergic to bees Bucky. What if he could have gotten stung.” you said to your husband as you put Lucas on the couch to watch tv.

Bucky sighed, “I did bring his Epipen, but it was in the trunk. I didn’t want the bee to near him because he was freaking out. So, I caught the bee in my hand and it stung me.” You looked at him and got both of his hands in yours and kissed them both.

“I’m glad you’re both ok.” you said sweetly looking at Bucky. He smiled and kissed your forehead. “But I swear next time if this happens again I’m making you sleep outside.” you warned your husband.

“What? I saved our son’s life!” he said to you smiling.

“Honey, didn’t I tell you to BEE careful?” you said with a smile and you pushed away from his walking over to the couch with your son.

“Shut up.” Bucky replied and looked over to the two who were asleep on the cough. He sighed and walked over to them kissing their foreheads and put a blanket over the two.

You woke up on the couch and noticed Lucas wasn’t with you. You got up and noticed him and Bucky were at the table setting breakfast. Bucky looked over at you and said “Lucas, mommy’s awake.” The boy ran to you and gave you a kiss and dragged you to the table. You all sat down and started eating the pancakes Bucky made.

“WAIT! Daddy and I got this for you.” Lucas yelled and ran over to his backpack and got the card they got from the diner. He handed it to you and you looked at it.

“Isn’t this ironic.” you said sarcastically looking at Bucky who was smiling.

“He’s the one that got it.” he replied with a smirk. 

Lucas looked at you both with the biggest smile ever.

A/N: That’s it! I hoped you guys liked this fluffy (hopefully) drabble! I usually suck at writing fluff but, I actually enjoyed writing this lol and I’m hoping this inspired me to write again. Life has been crazy, so I haven’t been writing as much, but I’m back! If you have any requests let me know because that will actually help me to get out of my writers block. But yeah, Like always let me know if you wanna be tagged and feedback is very much appreciated. 

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Fix You 11

A/n: Series rewrite. This doesn’t go by the show. Long chapter 

Link to Chapter 10

Words: 5,589

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

______

(Three weeks later)

“Come back home with me.”

Gabriel moaned against your mouth. The two of you were locked in a hallway closet and had been for the past 15 minutes. For the past few weeks, both you had been literally sneaking around to see each other. After Balthazar and Amara suggested that Gabriel and yourself cool things off, Gabriel turned up the volume on winning your back. He didn’t care that Amara meant well when she said that the last thing that either of you needed to be doing was having sex. The relationship needed to be fixed first. Right away Gabriel's first thought was, “I'll show you.”

“Gabe, please don't”

You whimpered as the archangel bit down on your pulse point. Any time that he remotely mentioned going back home with him or having sex, you would clam up. You wanted it as badly as Gabriel did but at the same time, you also realized that things needed to be fixed. The two of you had yet to make love but were getting closer by the day!

“Sugar, I love you! I know we have a lot of issues but I told you that I was committed to our little family. Sleep with me again. I know that attraction is still there.”

You sighed at how his eyes were shining in the dark. Reaching up, you stroked your hand over his cheek. Gabriel didn't wait a moment before taking your hand in his and began to suck on your fingertips suggestively.

  “You saved me once, baby. Do it again.”

You tried not to think about how nice Gabriel's talented tongue would feel on your clit. He knew that he was getting to you and it wouldn't be much longer until your will power broke!

“Of course there is Gabriel! That attraction will always be there. I promised my father though....”

Gabriel groaned, rolling his eyes. He stood up straight and began to fix his clothes that had been ruined in the closet making out session.

“To hell with him! I'm your husband. You know the one that you bonded with? Please me first then we can worry about Celine Dion's number one fan.”

You shook your head before placing a chaste kiss to the archangel's lips.

“Be patient, lover boy.”

Gabriel was quietly pouting for a few moments before taking your hand and placing it on his noticeable erection.

“If I was your lover boy I would this inside of you. Y/n, I am not asking to knock you up again! In fact, I am going to make sure THAT doesn't happen. I just want to be close. Sweetheart, you know that I have no patience.”

You gave Gabriel a sympathetic look. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you snugged your face against his.

“Soon. Gabriel, I'm in your arms. That's close”

“That is debatable.”

Gabriel said in an extra sassy tone. About that time the door opened and both of you turned to see Joy frowning.

“Why are you both in a closet?”

You smirked at Gabriel as he looked down at his daughter's inquisitive expression.

“Uh....”

Joy crossed her arms over her chest.

“If you are both hiding in there eating treats I am going to be upset.”

Gabriel smirked. He was more than thankful that Joy didn't have the slightest idea as to what the to of you were doing. Snapping his fingers, he made a lollipop appear and handed it to Joy.

“You caught us but here you go, honey bunch.”

Joy looked pleased enough with her father's peace offering.

“I saw nothing.”

She replied with a smile before going off to find Jack. Gabriel turned back you. He was relieved to see that you were smiling.

“Good save, daddy.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes before looking out into the hall making sure that there were no other sets of eyes around.

“Yeah, lucky us she doesn't realize what we were actually doing. I hate to say this but she reminded me so much of Michael right there.”

You winced at the worried expression on Gabriel's face. Little did he seem to realize that Joy was more like her family then he seemed to realize. Joy had a lot of her father and uncle's traits. You were seeing more and more every day. Joy had Michael's sense of loyalty, Raphael's seriousness, Lucifer's sarcasm, and Gabriel's mischievousness. 

“She's more like you than you probably notice.”

You said with a smile. Gabriel pushed you back against the wall. He changed the conversation back to the original subject

“So sugar, since I am on a no sex grounding period can we at least go on date?”

You nodded.

“Maybe if you be a good boy I can reconsider the no sex thing since we will be out of the house.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“You and your changing mind is killing me, honey.”

You shrugged.

“We will be out of the house.”

The next week regardless of Balthazar's protest, you agreed to go on the “outside the house” date with Gabriel. You had a good idea where this date was headed and bought new lingerie. In some ways, you didn't care either. You felt like the worlds biggest hypocrite! God, you missed the intimacy that you had with Gabriel. You could only pray that he had grown up a lot in your time apart. 

You did, however, understand Amara and Balthazar's worry about getting back together with Gabriel. It did seem that whenever the two of you were having sex things seemed to fall apart. Maybe this time it would be different? Maybe this last time apart would be enough to fix the issues? You could only hope.

You had just pulled on your sundress when JoyAnna came bounding in and pouncing on the bed. The little girl had been sleeping in between Gabriel and yourself for the past couple of nights. She developed a sudden and intense case of separation anxiety.

“Mommy, I wanna come! I never get to go anywhere with you and daddy!”

You turned looking at the little girl sympathetically. If she only knew what her future held for her, she couldn’t complain about not going anywhere.

“You don't even know where we are going.”

JoyAnna pouted, giving you the same scowl that Gabriel would when he didn't get his way.

“I don't care. I just want to go.””

Gabriel stepped into the room and was immediately accosted.

“Daddy! I wanna come too!”

Gabriel shook his head as JoyAnna slid off the bed and wrapped herself around his legs. She was giving him the best pouty face that she could come up with. Normally this would get her anything that she wanted from Gabriel. This time, however, Gabriel didn't have his daughter's wants on his mind.

“Sorry princess, not this time.”

JoyAnna went between her pouty expression and rubbing her face on Gabriel's hand. Gabriel clearly wasn't falling for this one.

“You're cute but no.”

JoyAnna walked out in a huff clearly mad at both of you. Gabriel shrugged when Joy slammed the door behind her.

“She's definitely your kid”

You said with a smile.

When they were about to leave JoyAnna lay on the floor coloring with Jack. She looked up to see you talking to Sam quietly. 

“Princess?”

JoyAnna looked up at Gabriel who was motioning her forward with his finger. Joy quickly got up and climbed into her father's arms.

“Yeah, daddy?”

She asked. 

“Be good tonight. If you don't I'll know about it.”

JoyAnna peeped up at her father from her place against his chest.

“You know everything.”

Internally Gabriel chuckled. If he could keep JoyAnna thinking that maybe he wouldn't be such a failure as a father.

“Yeah, I do. Now go play.”

JoyAnna's slid off of his lap and went back to join Jack on the floor. She waved as her parents went out the door not giving “misbehaving” a second thought. If Gabriel was watching, she knew her chances of being mischievous had greatly dropped.

Meanwhile after stepping outside of the front door, you found yourself in the middle of a very nice hotel room. You turned looking at Gabriel, who had unbuttoned his shirt halfway.

“What's this?”

Gabriel shrugged.

“Just a room. A room where there will be no interruptions or distractions.”

For the first time you didn't stop Gabriel as his hands began to travel up your leg. His fingers stroked over your thighs and stopped once he felt the stockings.

“Stocking, sugar?”

Gabriel questioned as his fingers toyed with the garter straps.

“Wait until you see the rest of my body.”

You said with a sudden sense of confidence that you had forgotten about. Gabriel chuckled.

“You are playing with fire.”

You turned and began to unbutton his shirt the rest of the way. Gabriel quietly moaned as you yanked him close by his open shirt. 

“Kiss me, angel.”

You cooed. Right as Gabriel began to kiss her there was a loud noise from across the room. Both of you froze and looked up to see none other than Lucifer standing casually. Gabriel immediately wrapped his arms around you protectively.

“Don't stop on my account.”

Lucifer said innocently. Gabriel's frown deepened. He quickly snapped his fingers making his shirt button. The last thing that he was going to do was face his brother half naked.

“You're going to watch your brother get laid? That's fucked up.”

Gabriel said.

“So much for no distractions or interruptions.”

You muttered as Lucifer began to speak again.

“Well, you did fake your death and made me feel things. That's another bone I have to pick with you! You little shit! How the hell did you do that?!”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“Story for another time.”

Lucifer shrugged before turning to you.

“And you must be Y/n.”

You swallowed, feeling Gabriel's fingers tightened on you.  

“Yes. What are you doing here? What do you want?”

Lucifer shrugged.

“I was just in the neighborhood after dealing with Michael a bit. Lovely guy. I see why you bailed, Gabe. He could make a preacher cuss. Anyhow, there is a subject I need to talk to the two of you about. It concerns a little lady with the name of JoyAnna.”

Gabriel let go of you and had Lucifer slammed against the wall in an invisible choke hold.

“Don't you say her name!”

Lucifer coughed a few times before glaring down at his little brother

“Look at you, the protective father. Must be nice I don't get to see my son.”

Gabriel tightened the hold on his brother's neck.

“How do you know about my daughter?”

Lucifer sighed.

“If you would quit trying to choke me out I'll tell you. Damn Gabe, I have never seen you this hot-headed. Oh wait, there was that time when we were fighting auntie A and she tried to kill me but that was a long time and a lot of tricks ago.”

You stepped forward. Maybe it was worth listening to whatever Lucifer had to say after all. If it concerned Joy then the two of you needed to hear it. You slowly stepped forward putting a hand on the small of Gabriel's back.

“Sweetheart.”

Lucifer smirked.

“Yeah, sweetheart, let me down.”

Gabriel looked back to you with a frown. He flicked his hand letting Lucifer fall hard on the ground. After a second or two, Lucifer stood up and dusted off his clothes.

“Sheesh Gabriel. Never thought I would see you go all nutty of a Nephilim and a kid.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Lucifer.

“That kid is my wife and child. You'll give them some respect.”

You flinched. That tone in Gabriel's voice was foreign. You had never heard that before. That was pure archangel. You could see why now they were heaven's most deadly weapon.

Lucifer meanwhile, raised an eyebrow.

“Alrighty then. Sorry Mrs. Pretty.”

He made sure to emphasize the Mrs. part. When Gabriel gave him a glare, Lucifer shrugged.

“You said give her respect!”

Gabriel growled again.

“Get on with it Lucifer. We were in the middle of something.”

Lucifer chuckled.

“Yeah, you were about to get your cock sucked. Good for you!  Anyhow, before you lose your shit on me again. I thought it would be good for you two to both know that Michael knows about JoyAnna. He wants the tot and Mrs. Pretty dead. He actually said that he was going to kill them while you watch Gabe. I know we aren't cool by any means but I don't really want to see that happen. Like it or not, JoyAnna is my niece and has the same blood that I do in her. I can help.”

Gabriel didn't appear to trusting.

“How do I know that you won't take her to Michael?”

Lucifer groaned now.

“Gabriel, did you forget that back in the day, long before Mrs. Pretty was born, and we were all back in heaven, it was you and I dicking around with Michael. I saw him pick on you more than you deserved. So what you went out, fucked a Nephilim, knocked her up and created something that doesn't even have a name. Hey! A new creature! Half Nephilim half archangel...there’s us something new to name!”

Gabriel was trying to not set Lucifer on fire at the moment. 

“Lucifer, stay on point.”

Lucifer shrugged. 

“I want to see what greatness that little creature can do. Who knows, if dad gets his head out of his ass maybe there will be a whole new chapter written about her. The book of Joy. Sounds cute huh?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes for the millionth time.

“Yeah, it will be really cute when she kicks you in the shins. She doesn't like strangers and knows all about who you are.”

Lucifer looked truly offended.

“Fine. If you want Michael to kill your wife and child then have at it. Nice knowing you, Y/n!”

Gabriel turned back to you. You looked obviously afraid. With a sigh he focused his attention back to Lucifer,

“Fine, but you have to face the others too and I guarantee you there is going to be no warm welcome.”

Lucifer smirked. 

“Well, I don’t expect team free will to be thrilled to see me.”

After having a further conversation with Lucifer, who was somewhat compliant with Gabriel's order that he come to the house the next day, the older archangel left peacefully. You had stood quietly behind Gabriel as he and Lucifer spoke. Once that Lucifer left you reached out to Gabriel. Your fingers stroked over his wrist.

"Gabriel."

Gabriel turned looking at you with an almost a foreign expression in his eyes.

"We should get home. "

You didn't like that expression! It was that same cold expression that you had seen so many other angels have.

"Honey, about what just happened, are you okay?"

Gabriel nodded.

"I'm fine."

You knew that he was lying. You normally wouldn't read Gabriel's thoughts but tonight it seemed almost necessary.

"Maybe I can convince Lucifer to leave with me and it will get him away from Molly and Joy. They'll be fine with team free will."

You immediately clamped your mouth shut. Was Gabriel really planning on leaving again? Had he not realized you needed him? Your heart broke thinking about your daughter. JoyAnna would be crushed if Gabriel left again! The poor kid already had a complex whenever he left for just a few hours.

"We should get back."

Gabriel repeated.

Arriving back home, Cas and Dean sat in the living room. Dean was watching Scooby Doo with an enthralled expression on his face. Gabriel rolled his eyes as Jack walked into the room. The boy only had to glance at his uncle to know that something was wrong.

"What's going on?"

Jack asked with his very Cas like frown. Your attention turned to Gabriel for a moment. You couldn't keep it in any longer. Talking to him telepathically made sense. The last thing that you wanted to do at the moment was freak out the rest of the family...until they heard the whole story.

"Gabriel, I am warning you right now. If you leave again, to go with Lucifer or whoever, don't bother coming back. Joy and I won't be waiting for you next time."

Gabriel turned to look at you with wide eyes. He looked honestly devastated by the words that were just said to him. Your facial expression wasn't the normal calm loving one that he was used to. This time your face looked tired! You were tired of his crap and he knew it now.

You turned and walked up the stairs without another word. Dean sat up motioning to your retreating form.

"So Gabriel, what exactly did you do now? I was kind of expecting you two to be all over each other."

Gabriel sighed.

"Get Sam in here. I have a lot to tell you all."

Dean walked into the other room half dragging a sleepy looking Sam with him. Jack and wandered over to Cas and sat down. Whatever was eating him was bad! Jack had gotten used to Gabriel's serious expressions in the past few years but this one was different. Gabriel looked like he would never smile or crack a joke again!

"Okay, Gabriel, what's wrong?"

Gabriel sighed.

"Lucifer and Michael knows about JoyAnna."

Everyone looked immediately nervous. Cas stood.

"How do you know?"

Gabriel sat down.

"Lucifer told me. He kind of crashed mine and Y/n’s date. He told me that Michael is after Joy and Y/n. According to Lucifer, Michael wants them both dead."

Dean blinked.

"So you actually talked to him?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"No moron, we decided to send emails! Yes, I talked to him! When I heard my wife and child was in danger I listened!"

Jack stood and began to pace.

"How do you know he's not lying?"

Gabriel leaned back looking at his nephew.

"I don't Jack but something was different with Lucifer this time. He was afraid. Of course, he wouldn't admit to it. I don't know who to believe but Lucifer wants to talk to us all."

Sam stood joining Jack in his pacing.

"How do you know that he isn't doing this to get to Jack."

Gabriel shrugged.

"Again I don't. That is my concern too. Trust me I have been thinking about all of this."

Dean groaned.

"Well fuck. Something about trusting Lucifer seems like a bad idea to me."

Gabriel smirked.

"Ya think? Good job stating the obvious there."

Jack turned to glare at Gabriel.

"What if Michael is after Joy and Y/n? What if Lucifer is telling the truth? I hate him as much if not more then all of you but I am not about to put Y/n and Joy in danger. Maybe we should talk to him? If it ends up being that he's lying to us, we kill him."

Gabriel leaned back.

"Jack, it isn't that simple. Killing somebody isn't as easy as it sounds."

Jack put his hands on his hips. He normally didn't argue with Gabriel but tonight was going to be another story.

"I feel nothing for him, uncle. This is my family right here. I have no emotional connections to Lucifer and like previously said I won't let him hurt Y/n or JoyAnna."

Gabriel's golden eyes narrowed.

"Do you think that I am going to sit by and let him?"

Jack shrugged.

"I don't know what we are going to do because right now we are all just sitting around."

Cas quickly came in.

"Enough with the arguing. Us turning on each other is just what Lucifer and Michael would want."

Gabriel leaned back against the chair he was sitting in.

"I am just fine with killing them both but we have to get our hands on them."

Dean nodded.

"Now that we are all on the same page as to killing them both... let's see what Lucifer has to say. So Gabe, what is with Y/n?"

Gabriel groaned.

"She must have been reading my thoughts. I was thinking about all of the ways that I could possibly deal with Lucifer. I thought that I might be able to con him into leaving me with me so I can deal with him."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Ah you said that leaving word that you two throw around so well."

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair not responding for a moment or two.

"I'm not leaving them again. At least not like that! I couldn't if I wanted to."

Dean raised an eyebrow before laughing coldly.

"Just afraid of losing all of your archangel juice again?"

Gabriel looked at the eldest Winchester with furious eyes.

"It has nothing to do with my grace. You know what? I don't even have to explain it to you because you wouldn't get it!"

Jack held up a hand.

"Okay, let's just stop this arguing. We need to be on the same side."

Dean nodded.

"He's right. Sorry."

Gabriel stood up and moved to go toward the stairs.

"I'll see you in the morning."

Walking up the stairs,Gabriel stopped outside of your bedroom. He was trying to think of the best way to talk to you. He heard a small sniffing noise coming from Joy's room. He stepped into the room, wanting to make sure that Joy was okay.

Joy lay in her bed clutching her stuffed lamb sleeping away. Gabriel smiled as he pulled the blankets around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her little arms immediately reached for him trying to pull him into bed with her.

"Daddy, stay."

She said in a sleepy voice. Gabriel smiled.

"Sleep princess. I'll see you in the morning."

Joy immediately fell asleep and was out before Gabriel could get another word out. He turned seeing you sitting in the corner with your back against the wall. That is where the crying noise was coming from. Through the dark, Gabriel could see the tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Fuck that's real."

He mumbled before walking over to you and sinking down beside you. You didn't say anything for a moment. It was like you didn’t even notice his presence. Gabriel sighed miserably. He was just fine with you yelling at him. He could handle that. It was when the tears started that he felt like someone kicked him in the stomach and while he was down from being kicked him in the balls.

He reached up tugging on his hair trying to make the pit in his stomach ease up a bit. It was times like these that Gabriel hated the world and would be more than happy to watch it burn! He glanced over at you. You still weren't looking at him. Bad luck seemed to be his jam. However, both of you always seemed to "throw stuff together and drive it home with one headlight." Gabriel knew this was just a continuation of their confrontations. Gabriel knew that your relationship was so much different than the humans but in many ways,it was the same.

"Sugar, please don't cry."

Gabriel finally choked out. You sobbed a little harder just hearing Gabriel's voice. With a miserable sigh, Gabriel reached over pulling you onto his lap. He reached up wiping the tears off of your cheek.

"Please, honey bunch. It kills me to see you cry."

You sniffed and nuzzled your face against his shoulder.

"You sure have a funny way of showing it."

Gabriel sighed.

"I wasn't going to leave. Y/n, I was just thinking off the top of my head. I was just upset. When I said that I was devoted to you and Joy, I meant it. I don't want to be a screw up with you two"

You were relieved by his comment.

"I don't want to lose you again. Gabe, we both have come through a lot of bad things. We need to get through this together."

Gabriel nodded.

"We will! We will. Somehow we always do. Sometimes it's like we throw gasoline on stuff and light it on fire but it works out.”

Gabriel took your hand in his pressing a kiss to the back. Your demeanor had changed tremendously!

"Wanna go play in our room? I am still curious about what is under that dress."

You smiled.

"That sounds nice. We should probably have this conversation outside of our daughter's room anyway."

The next morning Joy sat at the kitchen island nibbling on toast that Cas put in front of her. She sat swinging her legs as she watched her family move about. From the time that she got up,she had put together that something wasn't right. Everyone seemed like they were in one hell of a mood!

When Cas fed her breakfast he had forgotten that she didn't like the multi grain bread because it had "stuff" in it, he looked at Joy with tired eyes,

"Please don't put up a fight this morning, JoyAnna."

Normally he would listen to JoyAnna whine for a good fifteen minutes before she gave up and started munching quietly. Although she didn't really need to be eating anything Cas wanted to teach her better eating habits then ingesting tons of sugary treats like her father.

The moment the doorbell rang, Joy looked into the foyer with a frown. No one came to visit so this was odd.

"CASSIE! SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR!"

Cas walked in looking at her sadly. He knew who was at the door and he dreaded what was about to happen.

"Go get your mother and father, Joy."

Joy nodded before sliding off of the island stool and running up the stairs. Cas meanwhile, took a deep breath and walked to the door. Maybe Lucifer would chicken out and disappear before he got a chance to open it. That was false hopes though. Lucifer wasn't going to miss a chance to cause chaos in their lives

Opening the door, Cas tried not to roll his eyes as he came face to face with Lucifer.

"Lucifer."

He said bluntly. Lucifer smiled with a shrug.

"Hello to you too Castiel. Look at me, I am trying to be polite. I rang the bell instead of just coming inside."

Cas rolled his eyes.

“I guess you want a medal."

Lucifer slightly shrugged and faked offense.

"I love medals. Anyway,I am not here to argue with you. I need to see that delightful brother of mine."

Castiel frowned,

"I suppose you should come in then."

Meanwhile...

Joy ran into your bedroom. She didn’t care that you were busy making out with Gabriel.

"Mommy, Daddy, you better stop before your lips get stuck together! Someone is here and Cassie told me to come to you."

Both Gabriel and yourself pulled apart from each other and focused your attention back on Joy. She stood with her hands over her eyes. Gabriel rolled his eyes as he got up.

"Looks like he kept his words."

He said coldly. Joy quickly went to Gabriel holding her hands up.

"Who?"

Gabriel shook his head and tried to ignore the frightened expression on your face. Damn,he hated that expression! The last thing that he wanted to see other then you crying was you being afraid. Looking back to Joy, Gabriel knew that he had to be honest with her to a point.

"Your Uncle Lucifer."

Joy frowned. Her little face showed obvious confusion.

"Um isn't he bad?"

Gabriel sighed.

"We'll find out. I'll come tot you soon."

Gabriel sat Joy on the bed.

"Stay here sweetheart."

Joy nodded, not liking the serious expressions on her parent's faces. Gabriel put his hand on the small of your back and led you out of the room.

Once the door was closed her turned to look at you.

"A hundred bucks says that she will be downstairs in five minutes"

You smirked.

"You know she will."

Walking into the kitchen,you held your breath as Lucifer turned to face Gabriel.

"Gabe! About time you showed up! These housemates of yours have no sense of humor."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow,

"Do you really think that anyone here wants to deal with you?"

Lucifer faked mock hurt at his brother's snarky comment.

"Sheesh Gabe, you act like you are still mad at me for stabbing you but wait! I didn’t stab you! I was actually not in the wrong there! Go me!”

Gabriel felt his hands beginning to tremble. He tried to focus his attention on you. You were gaping at Lucifer! He had the feeling that you were waiting for the moment to come where she would need to yank him off of Lucifer.

"I don't trust you, asshat. Furthermore, if you ever do stab me, my best suggestion is you better make sure that I am dead. When I come after you, hehe, there won't be anything left."

Lucifer blinked.

"You're grumpy. Mrs. Pretty, do you not put out or something?"

You were ready to throw something at Lucifer's head. At the same time, you knew losing your temper would just make Gabriel lose his even quicker.

"Mommy's name is Y/n."

Both Gabriel and yourself immediately gave each other that knowing look before looking down to see JoyAnna. The little girl wrapped her arms around Gabriel's leg and was giving Lucifer her normal sassy smirk. Gabriel reached down pulling Joy into his arms immediately. If Lucifer thought that he was getting his hands on Joy, he had another thing coming!

Lucifer's mouth fell the moment that he looked at his niece. The kid mirrored Gabriel in so many ways but had her mother's dainty facial features.

"Oh my dad! Gabriel, she looks just like you."

JoyAnna rolled her eyes.

"And you look like Satan."

Lucifer chuckled at that.

"Smart kid, so tell me about yourself, sweetie."

JoyAnna looked up at Gabriel. When her father didn't look down at her she took it as a sign that she was okay to answer.

"I like pink, sparkly things, and the word fuck."

Lucifer had to bit his tongue to stop from making a comment about her being more like him than she realized. He decided not to when he noticed the expression on Gabriel's face. Even though Lucifer wanted nothing more than to get under Gabriel's skin he decided that his niece probably didn't need to witness.

"Yep you are definitely Gabriel's. Y/n, be a sweetheart and take little miss out of here. I don't think she needs to hear what we are going to talk about. Stay cute princess."

Lucifer said giving JoyAnna a wink.

"I intend to."

JoyAnna said before pressing her face into Gabriel's neck. Lucifer mentally was screaming at himself for showing so many feelings! This kid was throwing so much of a past that he wanted to forget in his face and there was nothing that he could do to stop it! She looked so much like that Gabriel that he remembered. Not the Gabriel that stood in front of him ready to stab him with an angel blade at any moment!

Lucifer knew now that there was no way that he could join Michael's side if he wanted to. After seeing his nice and meeting you, he knew it would crush Gabriel if something happened to them. Even if Gabriel hated him he wasn't doing that to his baby brother. Plus it would look pretty crappy on him if he ever wanted to meet Jack as well!

You meanwhile, looked to Gabriel for some form of instruction. The last thing that you were about to do was take orders from Satan. Gabriel glanced over his shoulder. He knew that you were annoyed. Just the expression in your eyes told him this. He understood why too. 

"Sugar, take her and go."

Gabriel turned to place Joy in her your arms however, he didn't immediately turn away. He stepped closer so that the two of you were almost touching. The only thing preventing the two of you from being full body to body was JoyAnna.

You swallowed at the expression in Gabriel's amber eyes. You could see a mixture of emotions and knew that he wanted nothing more than to run at the moment.

"Its okay, Gabriel. Everything will be okay."

You whispered tenderly in his mind. Gabriel nodded and didn't reply for a moment.

"Please, just take her and go. I know you want to know what's happening and I promise to tell you everything. I just can't let Joy know ...I don't want her to be afraid."

You smiled.

"I know, …."

"I'm not running anywhere."

He said verbally. You were relieved as Joy began to wiggle.

"You two are mushing me!"

Lucifer smirked.

"Jeez you two, stop mushing the kid!'

Both of you gave Lucifer matching glares that reminded him of a pack of lions protecting their baby. Lucifer held his hands up in defeat as you turned and walked from the room.

Once she was out, Gabriel turned to Lucifer looking exhausted.

"Okay Lucifer, talk."

_______

@brokencasbutt67-writer

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[nightklok]

[Jay X Gil] Poison (1/2-3)

Title: Poison (Based off the Alice Cooper song pff)

Word Count: 2612

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20198335/chapters/47860399

Summary: What if the berries Gil ate were poisonous?

Characters: Jay, Gil

Trigger Warnings: Blood, near-death, graphic description of poisoning symptoms (vomiting, nausea, coughing blood, etc), suicidal thoughts (if you read between the lines), implied past torture

Author’s Note: I am currently going through the requests I’ve gotten (and really, thanks so much I’m excited about writing them!) but consider this a test fic as this is my first Descendants fic and I don’t have a very good memory of the first two movies! I relied on the wikis and clips as other resources so please let me know how any of them is OOC and I will fix it for publishing on my AO3! (I’ll publish it sometime later today or tomorrow)

As a quick side note: I do realize that both Harry and Jay had eaten off the berry bush too. The closest I would say the berries can be compared to are wild almonds and moonseed; a few is fine but eating more than a certain amount is fatal. Gil did eat a bit more than Jay in the scene (yes I counted-) but just pretend he ate a bit more than that. And that said berries give a more slow and painful death to satisfy my angst cravings for this idea.

Gil had said that he didn't feel well before they went to sleep. It was easy to distinguish the feeling of it as the aftereffects of adrenaline from a long night of celebrating both Mal and Ben's engagement and a new era of their lives. Not only were they finally given the freedom to roam the world outside of the Isle, but the two were actually going on a year-long world expedition. Three celebrations all wrapped into a span of barely under half a day would probably result in the biggest hangover if it was the right word to call it. (There would be no alcohol-related hangover as that bartender was truly uptight about them being underage.)

Neither Jay or Gil had thought much of the comment he gave once they made it to Jay and Carlos' house. The quietness of it had finally settled in, allowing their thoughts to be the main focus now that the music and bright lights were long since gone. With all the excitement washed away, it was quickly replaced with an aura of uncertainty and anxiety over this new change. In the morning, it would probably feel the same as yesterday morning. Except that now it would forever carry a different feeling mixed with whatever familiarity there would be left.

It was only the two of them as Carlos was still out celebrating the night away with Jane and most likely wouldn’t come back until morning. They could've gotten one of the few bottles of champagne Jay had stolen from another event and discussed where to travel to lighten up the mood but Gil's simple words quickly drowned out those possibilities from being a reality.

It had taken a minute or two of debating for Gil to finally cave in and sleep in Jay's bed as he had insisted. He took the painkillers offered and went to his bedroom afterward. The dizziness he felt couldn't give him time to look around and be the curious person he always was in new environments. His own body wouldn't allow him for the time being and as much as he hated it, he couldn't do anything about it but lie in a bed that was softer than he had expected. Despite sudden nausea and dizziness overcoming him, he was able to fall asleep easily thanks to the most comfortable thing he ever got to sleep on.

Unfortunately, his sleep was completely disturbed throughout the night. At times he would wake up in a cold sweat with shivers across his body as he felt his breathing was getting slightly constricted as the night wore on. It could be comparable to being waterboarded; no matter how hard he’d try and fight, he wouldn’t be able to find a breath of fresh air to cling onto as a soaked rag over his head prevented it.

He easily mistook his difficult to breathe as being apart of a really bad anxiety episode; he could assume that it was only going as long as it did because of it triggering certain memories. There was no explanation he could find for what even caused it in the first place though. No matter how far he tried to dig into his feverish memories, he couldn’t find an answer. There might not even be an answer and it was all just in his head once again. Which if it was the case, would completely suck.

For that reason, he didn’t find it worth waking Jay up for when there was nothing he could've done anyway. They knew each other almost a lifetime but today-or yesterday to be specific-was the most that they had talked to each other in years. He knew enough about Jay from the stories told as people would about myths and just from growing up with him. There was no way he could possibly know how to help because he most likely never dealt with the same problems with him (and it was honestly more of a blessing.) He was kind of afraid he would end up scaring Jay off so he let those explanations be a reasonable answer as to why he won’t ask for help. He could handle it himself as he always does.

He focused on his breathing like he always did. He counted in his head, trying to bore himself to sleep but also give him something to think about. He managed to sleep but never for long. He frankly had no sense of how much time had passed so for all he knew, it could have been twenty minutes of pure hell he’s going through. Each time he woke up, he felt something getting worse. Whether it was nausea, breathing, or something else, it would only keep getting worse. It felt like a pattern that was slowly making him lose his sense of time and where he was. Wake up, experience something getting worse, attempt to sleep, repeat.

The only way he knew time had passed was when he opened his eyes after the umpteenth time he woke up. The room had gone from pitch black to a light tint of dark blue peeking through the curtains. He couldn't remember if he had ever slept that night as most of what he could remember was waking up repeatedly because of his own body fighting against him. It was harder to breathe and the dizziness continued even with his eyes closed. He never had an anxiety attack last for this long so maybe he was just genuinely sick even if the painkillers didn't seem to work.

He slowly sat up and found it a huge mistake. The dizziness and nausea immediately worsened when he did, specifically nausea. Despite his body feeling heavy, he managed to scramble out of bed before collapsing to the ground with a dull thud in his own frantic stumbling. He could barely move without it feeling like someone strapped bricks to his body so even sitting up was a hassle. He couldn't concentrate on what to do next as a result of it being harder to breathe. He coughed in a weak attempt to maybe help his breathing and get rid of nausea but he immediately felt a fluid already threatening to escape his mouth. The taste of it was way too familiar that he didn't need to see for himself what the liquid was. He honestly did feel like he was going to throw up.

Panic set in as he tried to stand up but the most he could do was sit up and even then he needed to lean against the bed. Involuntarily, he coughed again. Bringing a hand to his mouth, he felt the blood splatter onto his hand which didn't help his predicament whatsoever. He was in a mess of confusion, anxiety, fear, and nausea that he couldn't even distinguish which feeling was the most overwhelming one. It wasn't just an anxiety attack or just an illness...something, really terrible is going on with him and he didn't know what it was.

Nausea finally had finally overwhelmed him and he was only lucky there was a trash can conveniently beside the bed for him to throw up in. He could feel like his stomach was just trying to get rid of whatever he ate, which wasn't even much, to begin with. He set the trash can aside when he was sure it was over, a terrible aftertaste and blood now the only thing he could taste. Even though he was sure that he had thrown up everything possible, nausea still remained. He coughed again with the feeling of nausea still trying to escape his throat and blood slowly trickling out of his mouth.

"Gil?” He didn’t need to look up to know that it was Jay kneeling down beside him. His voice carried such concern and fear that he didn't even know if Jay had ever expressed it before in his life.

Gil couldn't speak without coughing out blood, his voice was hoarse most likely from the blood coating his throat. He didn't want to look up at him so he continued looking down at the ground. He brought a hand to his mouth again as he coughed some more, "Something's...wrong..."

Jay said nothing as he gently pulled his hand away. He could see the blood in both around his mouth and hands, a color so dark that it could’ve easily been confused for any other liquid that wasn’t blood. Blood seeped through his mouth as he tried to suppress his coughs, creating another layer of red against the already dried really dark-red on his skin.

The silence continued as he tried to figure out what was going on and how to help him. None of his less than average medical knowledge could actually pinpoint a specific illness that could result in it, “Do you know what happened last night? If you ate something bad or....” The realization hit him suddenly. He had seen similar symptoms in his lifetime, where it wouldn't be hard to actually kill someone if one wanted to.

"Someone poisoned you!" He said quickly as he looked around his room for possibly an antidote. For a person who stole whatever seemed nice at a point, antidotes were something he never thought of. Even if had an antidote, he had no idea what poison it was and the wrong antidote could be more fatal, "Okay, we're gonna figure out who did this later; we have to find Mal or someone-"  

Gil managed to reach for his arm, holding onto it lightly as he didn't even have the strength to grip on any tighter, "It's okay-", he couldn't finish because he began coughing hoarsely, a combination of blood and drool spilling from his mouth. He was never a person to really speak what he truly felt about and the moment he did his body was actively working against him to make sure he'd never speak another word again.

Jay stared at him a bit bewildered as he struggled to find words himself in response to Gil's possible acceptance of death. He quickly found one of his bandannas lying around and used it to wipe any blood that hadn't dried out yet from around his mouth, "What are you talking about? It's not okay you're like this! We just need to find you a cure for whatever happened."

Gil weakly shook his head. He couldn’t speak, both the blood and constricted lungs prevented him. He wanted to simply not be a bother and if death was more than a convenience, so be it. It didn’t seem like even if he could speak Jay would agree. Even with his head shaking he could already sense the disapproval.

“Maybe being delusional’s a symptom of the poisoning. Just...hang in there, okay?” Jay’s last sentence carried uncertainty. He couldn’t waste another minute but he didn’t know how else to spend the minutes. Despite being in situations where he had to save his own life in a matter of minutes, he never had the situation be done where he had minutes to save a person. The unfamiliarity of it was already uncomfortable enough.

He quickly left the room to get his phone off the coffee table and went back to his room.  He debated with his own mind on whether or not to call an ambulance. Calling it was an option but who needed those when you knew people who could produce magic with just weird rhymes? He looked at the time on his phone and knew that it was probably safe to call an ambulance just in case. The location of his house and the location of the nearest hospital made it impossible to not make it an option considering how far it was.

After letting the dispatcher know where they were located, he called and texted Mal, Evie, Carlos, and even Uma and Harry but there was no such luck. Everyone was most likely still asleep and would be until late morning considering how late that party was. Or they were simply still awake and doing who knows what and he quite frankly didn’t want to think about it. Either way, no one answered or called back.

Gil’s coughs were a bit more violent between his shaky breaths. His eyes were closed as his head was slumped over. Jay felt that he was actually close to watching someone die and it was a terrifying thought. It wasn't just someone though; it was someone who he grew up with and shamefully didn't spend enough time with. And with how things were going, it would be something he wished he had done more. He set his phone down to shake him lightly, “Hey, Gil, open your eyes. I know you're feeling terrible but I need you to stay awake for me. ”

Gil did, or halfway at least. He looked over at him, reaching his non-blood covered hand out towards him again. He couldn't speak or probably comprehend where he was and who he was reaching out to. But it was someone near him and it was enough.

Jay hesitantly reached for his hand. It was colder than he had expected but he didn't let go. He felt Gil lightly squeezing his hand as if it was his own way of saying that he was going to be okay. His breathing that once was vocal had grown quieter and more ragged. He didn't seem to even have the strength to cough or let the blood stop from spilling out over his mouth.  Dulled brown eyes met against glossy brown eyes as they were quiet, seeming to accept the inevitable fate. Jay had called an ambulance and had done what he could. He could be content that he had done enough to try and keep him alive but it didn't feel enough. It wouldn't be enough for him until he lives.

He didn't need anyone to tell him that he was slipping away because he could already see it in front of his eyes. His body was slowly slumping over as he was slowly becoming quiet. The only way to tell he was still alive was by how he was still gripping onto his hand, albeit it being light. He shook him by the shoulder again, "Please keep your eyes open. We still need to take that year off to explore, right? An ambulance will come soon, just keep try and stay awake please." His voice had ended up coming off as quieter and even a bit hoarse, which probably displayed more of how he was feeling then he thought he was hiding.

There was no sound of an ambulance. There was only the mocking sound of birds slowly chirping outside. Jay looked at his phone, almost ready to call the ambulance once again and curse them out for not arriving quickly. His phone beeped and a notification flashed across the screen before he could do so.

It was a text from Mal.

I wish I responded sooner but I can't believe this Where are you guys? How is he? Do you still need me?

It felt like a weight had slightly lifted from his shoulders. There was at least some semblance of hope that somehow managed to filter through, "Mal answered-" He managed to say but his spark of hope had quickly dwindled out once he saw that Gil was unresponsive. His head was slumped forward, his eyes were closed. Even the grip of his hand had long since lost its grip, "Gil?"

Outside, the birds were chirping. But slowly, but surely, it was being drowned out by the sound of ambulance and police sirens.

[coffeesforfuckers]

Cuffed In Handcuffs To My Biggest Secrets // Frerard

Pairing: Frerard Summary: Gerard hates Frank and Frank hates Gerard. They swear at each other, kick, hit, spit at each other, anything that could possibly kill the other while screaming insults at one another. Everybody else is sick of their shit and decide that handcuffs are the only way to solve the problem. Word Count: 3,892

“I hate you so much, Frank Iero. Why the fuck do you even try?” I snap at him without even turning to face him, walking to the changing rooms after a show, “You can’t sing, you can barely play your fucking guitar and on top of that, you’re a reckless moron.” I list off and I can just tell he’s nagging me behind my back.

“You just say this shit because you know you suck and this band will never take off. I don’t even know why I stay at this point, I could do so much better without your dumb ass.” He mutters from behind.

“Yeah right, Frank. How about you go try that out and tell me how it goes?” I sass and he kicks me in the shin. I spin around to face him and he spits up into my eye.

“Maybe I will, dickhead! You’ll fall apart without me here.” His voice is sharp as I wipe his saliva off of my face and quickly grab him by the collar of his shirt.

“Listen you little goblin, I will fucking destroy you.” I hold him up, too close to my face.

“Like you could fight me, I’ll kick your ass, I’m from New Jersey!” He says as if it’s intimidating.

“Like that would ever be-” He spits directly into my mouth. I drop him and spit into the floor in disgust.

“You little shit! What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” I yell angrily, “Are you fucking challenged?!”

“I’m defending myself you cunt!” He yells back and I swing at him, nailing him in the jaw. He swipes his hand over my face and claws me over the cheek and eye.

I go to grab him again, “Hey! Hey! What are you fucking doing!?” Mikey and Ray rush towards us as Mikey shouts at us.

I catch Frank’s collar and slam him against the wall. Mikey pulls his arms around me and Ray gets Frank, prying us apart as we both desperately attempt to injure each other. I fight against Mikey but he holds me firmly as Frank kicks around in Ray’s arms, looking like the little gremlin he was.

Frank spits at me again and it hits Mikey’s arm, “ Hey !” He practically screams, “ Enough !”

“He started it!” Frank growls.

“No, he fucking spit at me!” I defend.

“Why the fuck are you trying to kill each other anyway?! Jesus christ! Can’t we have one day where you two don’t fucking maul one another!?” Ray snaps.

“Frank’s a fucking idiot! That’s why!” I attempt to break free of Mikey’s restraint again to no avail.

“I didn’t fucking do anything! He just started insulting me for no reason!” Frank struggles, kicking his feet as they couldn’t reach the ground from the way Ray was holding him.

“Can you two please just go get changed so we can go back to the hotel?” Mikey sighs exhaustively. We were constantly at each other's throats and I could tell they were sick of having to pull us apart. I think they should just let us kill one another in all honestly.

“If you let me take one more swing at the gremlin.” I hiss.

“Gerard. Fucking go change. Now .” Mikey demands and starts pulling me to my dressing room, “Ray, take Frank to his dressing room please.” He sighs.

I can hear Frank shouting to be put down and that he could ‘ walk himself’ as Ray carried his tiny ass to his changing area.

|||

“Just let us fight each other. Whoever wins gets to live and stay in the band.” I say as I pull my shirt over my head.

“Gerard, you are not fighting Frank.” Mikey rolls his eyes, “Why do you two hate one another so much anyway?” The question causes me to freeze.

Only Frank and I knew the reasons but even then, there barely was one. We just hated each other really. It was that simple. Him and I were complete opposites, they don’t attract, they repel in our case.

“We just do, Mikey. Opposites don’t always attract.” I grumble, sliding out of my skinny jeans.

He sighs at my immaturity, “Have you ever tried to get along?”

“Once. We’re better as enemies.” I speak and tug on a pair of baggy sweatpants, “Never will I ever be friends with Frank Iero.” I say and lightly kick Mikey’s knee as he was sat on the floor, blocking the exit so I wouldn’t run off and murder Frank.

Smart move.

I let out a huff as he stands up and grasps my arm. Mikey leads me out to the cab that’s waiting for us. Frank’s on the far end and Ray’s in the middle, Mikey hops in and then me. They put a barrier between Frank and I to keep us from ending the lives of one another.

I stare out the window and so does he, completely ignoring me. It’s almost surprising that we haven’t started a screaming match yet. Well, we mostly only did that when Ray and Mikey weren’t around to stop us.

I did feel bad that they always had to stop us from being sent to prison for murder. But I could care less when I was in the middle of one of our infamous arguments.

My eye hurt.

“Mikey, could you get me ice when we get to the hotel, I’m gonna go look at my eye to make sure that I won’t go blind from his attack.” I glare over at Frank who’s already shooting daggers at me.

“Okay, I’ll grab you some ice too, Frank.” He smiles between us as we have a stare down.

“Fine, betray me why don’t you?” I huff and Mikey rolls his eyes at me and my pathetic childishness.

“Gerard, knock it off and you too, Frank.” He mutters to us both and we go back to watching out the windows.

|||

I’m barely awake when we finally get to the hotel. I drag myself up to my room that I’m sharing with everybody. Everybody gets up there quickly, except Mikey of course, who’s finding me ice.

I step into the bathroom to check my wound and it looks awful; my eye is almost swollen shut. I let out a sigh and wash my face with water and then sit down on the floor, leaned against the wall with the hot water running.

I did this a lot. It helps my voice a lot from how much I’ve been straining myself to sing and occasionally get sick from nerves. I was always a very awkward and nervous kid and I get extremely anxious before shows, especially big ones and sometimes end up vomiting from the anxiety.

There's a banging on the door that causes me to jump, “Yo! Hurry the fuck up!” Frank shouts from the other side.

I huff and turn off the water, tossing the door open. I shove him back and he stumbles as I move past him, “Dickhead. I will end you.” Frank grumbles as he slams the bathroom door.

I just end up going to bed.

|||

I sigh as I wobble on my feet, unsure of if I were still going to throw-up again or not. Frank keeps banging on the bathroom door and I’m ready to kill him.

“Can you hurry the fuck up!? Other people have to use that too you know!” He yells, slamming on the door. I’m so fed up with his yelling that I just rinse my mouth and step out, punching him in the chest to move him out of my way.

“Go fuck yourself, Frank.” I snap as I stomp off.

The set goes by so fast, I almost kill Frank probably around three times and he almost cracks my head open with his guitar. Everybody thinks it’s all for the show somehow. Probably because we’re not screaming profanities at each other and actually trying to piss the other off to the point of murder.

As soon as it’s over Frank and I are beating each other as soon as we step off of the stage. Mikey catches me just before I grab Frank by the neck and Ray grabs him.

“You dirty little troll! I’ll fucking slaughter you! I’ll fucking kill your ass!” I shout, fighting as hard as I can against Mikey.

“Try me, Cunt! I dare you to fucking try and fight me you cock sucking whore!” Frank does the same as I.

“Okay! Knock it off!” Mikey shouts over us and we fall silent as always, “Ray, it’s time,” he huffs.

“Brian!” Ray calls our tour manager over.

“Are they at it again.” He groans seeing the scene.

“Grab the things out of my back pocket. Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Mikey speaks sternly.

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll actually kill each other?” Ray raises a concerned voice.

“It’s time for them to settle their differences themselves, Ray.” Mikey shakes his head as Brian grabs my arm and Franks. Suddenly cold metal is strapped around mine and Frank’s arms.

“Handcuffs!?” Both Frank and I yell in unison.

“Good luck, dipfucks. If one of you dies the other has to drag around the other’s body forever.” Brian nods at us as he leaves.

“No! No!” I shout, “Get him off of me!” I yell at Mikey.

“Learn not to kill each other and we’ll let you go.” Ray chimes in.

“We can’t play like this!” Frank snaps.

“Your problem, not ours.” shrugs Ray, and I glare at him.

I am not okay with this.

|||

“I need to shower.” I say, it's only Frank and I in this hotel room.

“Too fucking bad.” He says and I hold back everything in me that's screaming to deck him.

“Can you stop being a cunt. Just stand outside the-”

“No.” He interrupts angrily, “Sponge bath or no bath.” He snaps at me.

“Why the fuck do you hate me so much?” I demand and he just ignores me, typing on his phone. I pull my hand back and it causes him to drop his phone.

“Cunt!” He shouts.

“Go fuck yourself.” I shake my head, “I'm going to bed.”

Frank mutters angrily as we lay uncomfortably close and awkwardly in bed.

I hated my friends so much right now.

|||

Breakfast is the biggest pain in the ass. We're attached with both our dominant hands and let me just say, it's impossible.

Our elbows smack together, our wrists are red, our hands hurt. It's awful. I can't take it.

Sadly, lunch is even worse, having to eat with our heads actually pressed together. We're both absolutely miserable.

By the time we get to the venue we are so ready to murder each other or kill ourselves, we can't tell which would be worse. The place is so big and I'm so anxious. I'm shaking violently and I can tell Frank is getting annoyed by it.

I was also panicked over him finding out about my nervous issue of vomiting before shows. Not even Mikey knew about that somehow. Nobody ever found out.

I bounce my leg and shift around more than normal in my seat. Frank is grinding his teeth with anger at this point.

“Do you have to piss or something?” He snaps and I shake my head, “Then stop bouncing around like an idiot.”

I can't, I want to, but I can't.

“I… Frank I really need to get these cuffs off, like now, please.” I beg.

“You act like I want to deal with this.” He growls at me, he's pissed.

“Frank, you don't understand.” I persist.

He stands and pulls me up, “I knew you needed to piss.” He grumbles and drags me along.

“Not piss.” I say.

“Gerard no.” He glares at me.

“Not that either.” I mumble, now I’m pulling him along, knowing I’m going to vomit. I end up pulling him into the bathroom with me and he seems confused for a second until I drop to the floor.

“Whoa! What do you think you’re doing!?” He shouts and I kick him in the shin.

“Shut up, don’t draw attention.” I mutter angrily.

“Dude, what the fuck? Are you-... Gerard, do you purge?” He whispers, kneeling next to me and holding my hair. It feels so fucked up to have Frank of all people in here with me while I spill the contents of my stomach into an old, pretty gross toilet.

“No.” I cough, “I get sick when I’m too anxious… Which happens almost every show.” I give a weak smile.

“Does anybody know?” He rubs my back after tying my hair up.

“No, I’d rather not worry anybody…” I vomit promptly after I finish speaking and Frank flinches, surprised almost.

“Well, I hate you and even I’m fucking shaking with worry so yeah I can get that.” Frank says and shakes his head.

“Thanks but I’m fine. I just need to stop eating right before shows.” I sigh and sit back, tugging the band out of my hair. My hair flops down around my face and I stand, flushing the toilet with my foot. I wasn’t a fan of public bathrooms. I rinse my mouth out in the sink and Frank doesn’t bother me for once.

It was actually kind of nice not fighting him constantly.

It didn’t last long as his arm got caught in the door and we started yelling over it, threatening to kill each other. Of course, the one time we argue, Mikey shows up and shakes his head at us.

“Good luck playing like that.” He grins, finding our situation amusing.

“I fucking hate you, Mikey!” I shout as he walks off, laughing to himself, “Cunt!”

|||

The shows have been an absolute disaster. He had to play with me hooked to him, singing and moving around was a struggle. He kept fucking around with his guitar and went to toss it around himself and nailed me in the jaw and I bled so bad that they had to bandage it on stage because I refused to leave. That was only the first night. Try over a week of this. I was so banged up and I swear he's reopened that gash in my jaw with his guitar almost every night.

Being back in the hotel room was a blessing. Even though I had to have Frank practically wrapped around me, it was better than trying to beat the shit out of him while he was attached to me.

I somehow manage to get comfortable. Frank was already asleep somehow, my face hurt too bad for me to fall asleep yet. Frank mumbles incoherently in his sleep, it’s surprisingly the least annoying quality about him.

He begins to stir at probably four in the morning, his mumbles getting a bit louder.

“No…” He hums, “No! Go away!” He speaks loudly and he starts to toss and turn anxiously, practically shouting. He’s actually crying, bawling, years running down his face as they slip out of the corners of his firmly shut eyes.

“Frank.” I mumble.

“Stop! Don’t do that! No! I said no!” He starts to get a bit aggressive. I catch his free arm and start to shake him.

“Wake up! Frank, hey… Wake up.” I push him again and again but his yelling continues, “Frank! Wake up!” I shout, startling him awake. He sits upright, still in tears. I can see he’s trembling.

His hands shake as he rubs at his eyes, sniffles and hiccups shaking him. I  turn the lights on and sit up, going to place a hand on his back but I end up yanking at his arm. I frown and rest my hand on his leg.

“Are you okay?” I ask and Frank doesn't look at me, only shaking his head, “How can I help?” I want to make him feel better, I'm the only one who should cause him pain is what I think for my reasoning of feeling bad for him.

“Y-... You can't…” He stammers and I frown a bit more. I decide to pull him into me, which forces him into my lap, “What-... What are you doing!?” He struggles in my arms for a second and I hug my arm around him, resting my head on his chin. He stops moving and his cheeks heat up.

“I'm trying to be comforting. Mikey used to do this to me when I would get night terrors.” I hum and feel him squeeze an arm around me, gripping onto my hand.

“Why are you helping me?” He mumbles.

“You've been helping me and I'm just trying to help you in return.” I explain. He and I may beat the fuck out of each over all the time but I felt pretty bad and this feels pretty good.

“Oh… T-... Thanks…” He says into my chest.

He shakes for a while longer, sniffling and not so much crying as whimpering. I'm exhausted but I stay awake the whole time, singing to him. That's what always calmed me down when I'd be so upset.

“Do you think this would be enough of a reason to get the handcuffs off?” I joke and he starts to shake his head.

“I don't want them to know.” He winced against me.

“Okay. Your secrets safe with me, Frank.” I told him and he pressed himself more into my chest. He fell asleep and I laid down, holding him still.

My heart was beating so hard and I couldn't sleep until probably around six.

|||

I wake up with Frank wrapped tightly around me. I stir slightly and notice that Mikey is stood at the end of the bed, taking pictures.

“Hey!” I snap and startle Frank who jumps and sits up.

“You two friends now?” Giggles Mikey.

“No!” We both shout.

“Yeah, okay. ” Mikey chuckles, “Now get up, we're going out to eat.”

“I'm not hungry.” Frank instantly says, “I forced Gerard to get up with me and we ate last night.” He lies. I give him an odd look.

“You sure? It's like four, we have to go in a bit.” Mikey says and we both nod, “Okay, we’ll be back in a while.” Mikey says as he starts to leave, “Bye losers!”

I roll my eyes and the door closes, “Why’d you do that?” I turn to Frank.

“You won’t get sick before if you don’t eat until after, right?” He smiles at me with red cheeks.

“Yeah, you’re right… Thanks.” I mumble and toss my legs over the side of the bed. Frank crawls over and climbs off the bed.

“Let’s go get ready for the concert.”

|||

I walk ahead of Frank to the dressing room, we had been wearing the same shirts for the past, probably week now and had to keep dousing each other in cologne to help us not smell like complete shit. He starts to wash his face and hair in the sink while I standby, involentarily helping.

I’d caught myself staring at him a few times. It was hard not to when you were literally handcuffed to him, but I mean, excessive staring, “Your hair's so soft.” I say without thinking. It really was surprisingly soft.

“Thanks.” He chuckles bearing his bright white teeth up at me. My heart beats too fast as he squints up at me, water dripping down in his face.

“Uh, yeah, no problem.” I cough.

“Could you please get me a towel?” He laughs and I grab him one, patting the water off of his skin. He takes it from me after a moment of watching me with a dopey grin and starts to dry his hair, my hand banging against his head as he did so.

“Frank…?” I speak.

“Yes?” He coos with his schoolgirl giggle.

“Why do you hate me?” I ask and he’s taken aback by the seriousness of my sudden question.

“Uh…” He mumbles, getting flustered and red faced, shrugging.

“Tell me.” I insist.

“I don’t have a reason…” He says awkwardly. I stay silent for a minute or so, pondering whether or not to keep pushing it.

“Yes you do.” I shove him with my arm.

“No!” His cheeks glow.

“Come on, just tell me, I won’t get mad.” I say and he shakes his head, “Well, I honestly just hate you because you’re definitely better than me.” I admit, also because he’s hot and it’s not fair.

“It’s not that you’d get mad.” He sighs.

“Then what is it?”

He shrugs at me, sighing. He seems extremely upset, trying to avoid me which was almost impossible with the cuffs on our hands. I grab his hand and he almost jumps out of his skin.

“Don’t do that!” He smacks me.

“Just tell me what’s bothering you, Frank. We already know each other’s weirdest secrets.” All except that I’m gay as fuck.

“No we don’t.” He gives me a funny look.

“Close enough.” I bump against him with a smile.

“Uh…” He’s as red as a tomato.

“I told you why I hated you, you have to tell me, it’s a rule.” I speak, “You have to, Frank.” I press and Frank gives in with a sigh.

“I like you.” He says, looking at me.

“I asked why you hate me, Frank.” I look at him like he’s crazy.

“No, I-... I’m in-... I-...” He kisses me.

I’m not sure how to respond. I don’t kiss back out of pure shock, but my heart beats too fast and my face burns. I don’t hate it.

Frank pulls back quickly, “Oh, god… I am so sorry, I couldn’t uh… Think of any other way to convey my feelings, but that didn’t work either because it makes me look stupid and it makes my feelings for you like… Even more of them have flourished and your lips are like… Nice… And I’m just gonna stop talking now because I feel really dumb…” He is so red and flustered. Frank looks really cute when he’s blushing, I realize.

“No, I-... I didn’t hate it.” I say.

“You didn’t kiss back… If you didn’t hate it then you would just… Kiss me back…” He sighs, “Well, secrets out I guess…” He frowns, “Can we pretend this didn’t happen?”

“No.” I shake my head.

“Gerard, can we please just forget about it?” He begs, not looking at me.

“No, we can’t.” I reply and he looks at me in frustration and anger.

“Gerard!” He shoves me, I stumble and fall, grabbing onto Frank as I collapse onto the couch, “Forget about it okay.” He persists.

“No, I can’t.” I reply as I place a hand behind his head, resting it on the back of his neck, I pull him closer to me, kissing him myself this time. It felt good, it felt like the thing I’d been missing forever.

The door opens and we try to jump apart only ending up with me writhing in pain from Frank pulling my arm and popping it from its socket.

“Looks like you two have solved your differences and congratulations, you are free to go!” Mikey laughs.

“Yeah… To the hospital.” I grunt and Frank chuckles at me.

Mikey takes the cuffs off but in reality we we’re around each other more without the cuffs than with once they came off.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Gacha Gacha Crate April 19

Welcome to last months Gacha Gacha crate review :D

Er... I forgot to get a picture for the opener of this post, but rest assure the review has pics!

Sailor Moon Pouch

Our first item is perfect for magical girl and/or Sailor Moon fans, an adorable pouch that comes in six variations: the crystal star I got, another brooch (I’m sorry but its been ages since I watched Sailor Moon, I can’t remember everything), Luna or Artemis, the Moon Stick/Scepter, a patterned pouch, and a rounded “secret pouch”.

Each pouch is fairly flat but has accurate detailing and feels very smooth with a great working zipper. The inside has cloth-ish fabric.

The back of mine had this design on it, but I assume they all have it or something similar. In terms of what it can fit, I noticed it can fit 1 of any size gacha capsule, or several little trinkets like change, dollar bills, cards, certain beauty products; just not too many at once.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I think it’s pretty cute and well made. I wish it might have been a little bit bigger or spacious, and the material makes me think it wont hold up against staining- but I’m not going to test that theory out. I would have liked it if it had a ball chain or strap to attach it to things as well, but as a long-time magical girl fan I kind of like that feeling of being able to pull out a magical transformation device- even if it’s only to summon money or a card rather than a cute outfit and wand.

Build A Pokemon

I heard these “figures as the capsule“ are popular lately, and that seems to be the case. This is our second one we’ve gotten in the Gacha Gacha crate, which features adorable Pokemon!

There was 4 available: Pikachu, Gengar, the new electric mouse I never remember the name of, and Mew. They’re all cute but I’m very happy I got Gengar, who has always been one of my favorite Pokemon x3

This piece serves no purpose other than to keep the plastic wrap that was on him smooth, due to his “spikes” on his back. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Compared to my Donald Duck (whose beak still isn’t on right) Gengar was much easier to build. He’s very accurate in appearance, and he makes a really cute decoration! It’s also fun putting together figurines, even if this wasn’t as detailed as my Yokai Watch collection (pretty much every version of Jibanyan I found back when I was collecting them. I still have them but I don’t buy them anymore).

Kuma and Tanooki Handkerchief

This is our biggest item yet by far! Kuma and Tanooki are popular characters who have their own twitter in Japan, and this handkerchief is perfect for this season when spring allergens start kicking up, or say, if you needed somewhere to sit a food item or clean up a spill.

There are 5 possible  “4-koma“ you can get in this collection, and it is by Takara Tomy Arts.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I think it’s very cute, kind of a random item but you guys know how much I like practicality. One of my concerns is getting items from the gachapon that I can’t actually do anything with- and considering I have “seasonal change weather allergies“ this will probably come in handy in some shape or form.

However... After barely touching it I noticed that it already has a couple of loose strands and I’ve done nothing to it. So I’m kinda worried about getting something on it/using it and then trying to wash/clean it off. It’s a very delicate and thin material.

Shiba Terrarium

This next item combines the adorable, popular shiba brothers and the recent trend of Character Terrarium displays. I really like things like snowglobes, toy house displays, re-ment, so I quickly took a liking to Terrariums too. Lately I’ve been seeing all kinds of popular character ones, like Pokemon, Kirby, Sumikko Gurashi, Rilakkuma.

In this specific set there are 4 to collect, each one is 400 yen and features one of the shiba brothers in one of the seasonal settings. Each terrarium includes the little setting/stage (in 2 pieces) the shiba, and decoration, they also incorporate the capsule, which is the terrarium obviously. The bottom part is flat so that they can be sat out to display. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I really like the white shiba (who has spring) but my favorite season is winter, so I think this was meant to be~

It’s extremely easy to put together, there’s no gluing or even pressing needed; although considering how easy it is for the pieces to move around when jostled or shifted, I kind of wish there was some pegs or something to hold the shiba and items down.

The detail is also spot-on and looks very nice for such tiny pieces, besides the perfect paint jobs on the snowman and shiba (he even has toe beans!), but there are markings in the snow where they sit for added detailing.

If you like terrariums but want a cheaper and less-messy (as in if something would happen less clean-up) this would be the way to go.

Mushroom Bird

This would be an adorable addition to a fall-themed terrarium, a MUSHROOM BIRD. Japan really likes cutesy animal-item/food combinations; and this is one of the few I’ve seen for birds. It’s by EPOCH and each one costs 200 yen.

As you can see by the checklist this is a medium-big collection. Each bird has a “rarity“ marking beneath them, mine being 2 out of 3 stars. At the second I don’t recall what mine is, I want to say shitake but I’m not positive- although I do like eating mushrooms.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

It’s small but the detail on it is really nice and it’s very cute in my opinion. As I said above, you could use it in things like terrariums, or even re-ment or decorative items like planters or something.

Squeeze Sushi

This is our final item- and if you’re wondering why the setting looks different it’s because when I was uploading the images, the one I took was like... glitched or something? It wasn’t uploading right, so I hurried up and grabbed another pic.

Anyway, these types of Squeeze toys/squishy are pretty popular in Japan, and as of late here too! There’s a really adorable series I like collecting called Moj Moj that has some like this, but I know there are several varieties that can be found online too.

There are 6 sushi types available, from my cucumber (maybe avocado? I’m pretty sure it’s cucumber), crab, salmon, something that looks like fish cake, egg or vegetable, and fish eggs.

I usually see the one I have on a lot of videos from Youtubers I watch- and as a squishy fan I REALLY wanted my own but never bothered looking online to get one, so I was extremely happy when I saw this~

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

This was everything i hoped for and more! I love squeezing it and watching the stuff come out, then get sucked back in. The item is in a little oiled sack as I’ve learned watching people cut them open, and they can be a little fragile if handled too roughly (they’re also sticky so they collect dirt); but they’re super cute and fun.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Quality - 5 out of 5. Everything is fine and I love all the detailing put into each item. From the perfect coloring jobs to the rice texture of the squeeze toy and elaborate handkerchief.

Content - 5 out of 5. I really liked everything, maybe not as much as I did the prior months box, but I would put it in the top 5 thus far.

Total Rank: 7 out of 10 cuties. It was a lovely box full of adorableness~ and even though there was 3 non-practical items (unless you consider displaying an item practical) I still really liked them a lot. I didn’t dislike anything in this box, which is probably a first for this series. I’m not sure what kind of price range all of these items were together, but I could say that this box was worth what we pay.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1.  Sushi Squeeze - I love squeeze toys, squishies, and sushi; and considering how much I wanted one of these, I think my choosing this as my #1 item for the month wasn’t a surprise to anybody.

2.  Shiba Terrarium - It was simple, but still detailed enough. I still wish they had included pegs or something to hold the pieces in place, and looking at it again I wish the Shiba interacted with the items a little more, but it makes a very cute decoration regardless.

3. Handkerchief - As a fan of manga and cutesy or funny comics, I really appreciated the design behind this one. It has an adorable charm to it.

4. Mushroom Bird - it’s kawaii and little x3 but at the same time, unless you really looked at it, you probably couldn’t tetl it was a bird due to how small it was. I really wish I got one of the more colorful ones.

5. Sailor Moon Pouch - If I got Luna or Artemis this would have been higher up on the list. But it’s a perfect representation of Sailor Moon’s more known compact/brooch/whatever and just holding it gives me all sorts of feels~

6. Build a Pokemon - As much as I adore Pokemon, there isn’t really anything different than this Gengar. In fact it almost looks exactly like a plush keychain Gengar I got when I was little.

Alright, we’ve reached the end of another box and review. As usual I will be resuming normal order so up next we got the two beauty boxes, NMNL and Kira Kira crate.

Until then, remember to open up a box of cuteness every day!

[stardust-squish-blog]

fairy tale ♡

it was chan’s birthday yesterday so here’s a little something i wrote

member: lee chan / dino

genre: fluff with the tiniest bit of angst

11 . 02 . 17 

the first good thing about today was not missing her alarm. she had woken up precisely at 08:15, when the sun had risen and the birds were chirping and there was stardust in her room. the air smelled nice, too. she had no idea why.

the ‘ding’ that came from the device on the nightstand gave a clue.

reminder: chan’s birthday ♡

her eyes found the little brown bag and balloon by the door and instantly, a smile blossomed. today was a special day. 

on the eleventh of february, nineteen years ago, a boy named lee chan was born.

today, he was going to turn nineteen.

and today, she had things to do.

09 : 19

“alright, guys, have a quick break. we’ll resume practice soon.”

choruses of groans and ‘thank you’s’ echoed throughout the practice room as thirteen bodies flopped to the floor, cheeks squished against the cool surface. for a while there was no movement, just contented sighs coupled together with the gentle whirring of fans. 

then the oldest boy sat up. “good job guys.” carding a hand through his hair, seungcheol flashed a reassuring smile. “it isn’t easy, but let’s work hard. we’ll get there.”

his comment elicited a snort from the chinese boy lying on his tummy. minghao snorted, “what do you mean? that wasn’t good at all. did you see mingyu? he totally sucked.”

a gasp rose from the accused, who immediately shot up, hands clasped over his chest. “how could you say that? that hurt my heart. and besides,” mingyu pouted while glancing distastefully at the other boys, “i wasn’t the only one who screwed up. why, chan kept on messing up that part! vernon was the one who got scolded by our choreographer the most! an-and jeonghan-hyu—ow! hyung!"

jeonghan leisurely stood back up, dusted his hands on his hoodie and shot mingyu a glare. “you dare to insult an angel? know your place, gyu.”

“chan!” 

all eyes instantly focused on the figure sitting in a corner of the room. the boy in question lifted his head, mumbling a reply with a quiet “yes?”

“come here. let’s practice that part again.” a sigh left their choreographer’s lips as she adjusted the music. “focus, okay? this part has to be perfect.”

but not matter how hard he tried or how many times he practiced, chan could not get it right. the other boys watched as the duo danced, again, and again, and again. no longer than ten minutes had passed and their choreographer was at the end of her tether.

“gosh, chan, what’s wrong with you today?” 

twelve minds thought of twelve answers, all exactly the same.

twelve lips shared twelve hidden smiles.

out of the thirteen boys, all knew. all, but one.

“i-i don’t know. i think i’m just tired. i’m sorry, i’ll work harder.”

09 : 31

jeonghan watched the boy leave the room, dollar bills poking out from his fist. poor kid. he thinks we forgot. he sighed as he chuckled to himself. that’s good, it’s all going according to plan. 

soonyoung sidled up to him. “hyung,” he whispered, nearly scaring the elder boy out of his wits, “is she here yet? when’s she gonna come?” his eyes sparkled with excitement and anticipation. “hyung, i can’t wait to see his reaction!”

“she’ll be here when we end,” jeonghan’s eyes settled on the wall clock of the practice room. “about an hour more.”

the notification that popped up on his phone told him otherwise though.

baby’s baby: i’m here :>

jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up. she’s here?

over his shoulder, soonyoung’s eyes expanded to the size of  saucers. “hyung, take the stairs. it’s faster.”

“i’ll be back.”

angel: already? hold on 

as he sprinted down, taking the stairs three at a time with a hand running through his hair, jeonghan’s mumbling got increasingly heated. 

“did she have to come an hour earlier? what if he sees her? then everything would be ruined! everything we worked so hard for would be ruined! why are kids so inconsiderate?” the adrenaline pulsed through his veins and the fire burned in his blood as he vehemently spat, “sometimes i just want to slap some consideration into them!” 

the second good thing about today was her mood.

she liked the way she dressed today. yes, it was her usual style, and yes, it was honestly nothing special, but she was in a good mood today. she left the house smiling, she didn’t forget anything and she looked pretty nice. 

was it magic? days like this were rare.

the walk to pledis was good too. people smiled at her. middle-aged aunties tending to flowers, young couples with hands intertwined, businessmen in suits and ties. their lips curved up when she passed them by, with a lilt in her steps that was never there. it was as if they knew where she was going, what she was doing and why she was doing it.

who could blame them, really, when her dreamy expression and the balloon in her hand made it all too obvious.

she was early too. maybe a little too early. sighing as she tucked her hair behind one shoulder, she sent a quick text to a certain self-proclaimed angel.

while awaiting his response, her hand found its way to her head, making sure no hair was out of place, and then she was dusting fluff off her skirt, adjusting her bag strap—she almost burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. why was she being like this? she was hardly ever this concerned about her appearance.

perhaps it was the excitement of surprising the person you love.

yeah, that was probably it.

a million thoughts raced through his mind as he saw her standing there. when did chan grow up? he now has a little lady friend to call his own. everyone expected jun to be first. wow, my baby is growing up :’). i can’t accept this. why is he growing up so quickly? what has he been eating? i need to kn—

the calling of his name brought him back to earth. she appeared in front of him, balloon nearly hitting him on the head. smiling sheepishly, she tugged it closer to her and looked up at him expectantly.

“you’re an hour early.”

cue the increase in size of said sheepish smile. “i know. i’m sorry. i just didn’t want to be late.”

jeonghan sighed as they made their way to the lifts. “it’s alright. it’s good to be early, but an hour early? are you nuts?” then with the biggest shit-eating grin plastered on his face, “or is this perhaps something only couples understand?”

at his comment, she turned pink. as pink as jihoon’s hair. 

well.

chan blushed too when he got teased.

“gosh, you’re just like him. but what would i, an innocent who has never experienced such a feeling, know, right?” he smirked as the hue on her cheeks deepened. 

attempting to change the subject, she held up the paper bag in her hands. 

“i have the cake.”

jeonghan nodded approvingly. “good good. you’re officially accepted to be my daughter-in-law.” they shared a laugh, both knowing the possibilities, before he continued, tone a little more serious. 

“you know where to go right?” at the nod of her head, he continued, “i don’t know how you’re going to entertain yourself, but i suppose you can do up the room a little more. rearrange stuff, add stuff, remove stuff, whatever floats your boat. set up the cake and banner. knock yourself out.” she nodded once more, and the lift doors opened. 

“i have to go practice now. good luck!”

she smiled back. “good luck!”

10 : 25 

back pressed against the wall, she admired her work. presents nicely arranged, balloons and streamers framing the mirror, the birthday banner, the lovely cake—and she didn’t smell bad.

well, what could she say? today was a really good day. 

the minute hand ticked closer and closer to six. hurriedly, she stood up and brushed herself off. they should be here by now. 

as if on cue, eleven boys started to file in, all whispering in hushed tones. 

“get into position, idiots. hurry!” 

“ooh, it’s jeonghan’s other baby. hello.” 

“hi.” 

“did you do all this?” 

“yeah.” 

“wow. very nice.” 

seungcheol’s command ceased the chatter. “alright guys, shh!” 

there were a few seconds of silence. then a giggle broke it. 

“i can hear him,” soonyoung wheezed. “he’s grumbling because we left him behind.” 

seungkwan whacked him on the head. “i can hear his footsteps. shut up!” 

“remember, shout ‘happy birthday’ when he walks in,” seungcheol whispered as the door knob turned. the countdown silently began. 

3. 

2. 

1…

10 : 29

the 19-year-old boy trudged along the deserted corridor, drink cans clutched tightly in his hands. his eyes brimmed with tears as he recalled his hyungs’ behaviour this morning. 

“did they really forget?” chan mumbled, taking small and heavy steps towards the practice room. a sigh escaped his lips. could he tell their choreographer that he wasn’t feeling well? the morning without birthday wishes or claps on the backs or hugs and kisses was enough to make chan feel sick. 

they had left him behind too. making him go and buy drinks from the vending machine two floors down and ditching him at a different practice room because of a “blackout”?

what an absolute load of nonsense. 

it was because he couldn’t perfect that one part, wasn’t it?

but it wasn’t his fault. they were the reasons why.

maybe it was true that nobody cared about the youngest ones. chan’s bottom lip trembled as the tears threatened to spill. maybe he was just insignificant in seventeen. they didn’t even tell him where they had shifted to. he had to ask one of the cleaners if they had seen twelve rowdy boys leaving practice room A.

no. that can’t be. we’re family, right? the small voice in his head repeated the quote that joshua always said. ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind. 

but even his own girlfriend did not send him a birthday greeting whatsoever. no text message, no video message, no snow story, no skype call or face time. did she know how long he had waited for his phone to light up? for the notification that read from: my love ♡  to pop up on the screen? 

a lone tear dropped onto his palm, shaking chan back to reality. it’s okay, chan. you’re strong. you aren’t going to let them see you cry, right? it hurts, but mum’s gonna send you something later. it’ll be alright. with a final swipe of his hand across his face, chan took a deep breath, held his head high and pushed the door open. 

“hyungs! here’s the drin—” 

but chan was blown away by the shout of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAN!” and suddenly the whole room erupted into hoots and balloons and faces and everything was blurring together into one big, happy, sparkly and beautiful mess.

“aw look! he’s crying!” soonyoung ruffled chan’s hair affectionately. this was followed by a bear hug, courtesy of minghao, who yelled, “jeonghan-hyung, your cliché blackout story actually worked!“ 

junhui pinched chan’s cheeks. “you’re so cute. you really thought we forgot, huh?”

jihoon laughed. “fat chance of that happening. we’re family, remember?” 

that made it even worse. chan was now straight up bawling into jeonghan’s chest. how could he have ever doubted them? they were right.

joshua was right.

seventeen was family.

and he knew they would never leave him behind.

seungcheol’s gentle hand coaxed him away from jeonghan’s embrace. “come here chan, let’s sing the birthday song. there’s someone whom you want to see and who wants to see you too.” 

and there she was. shining brighter than the nineteen candles sitting atop the cake. chan’s eyes curved into crescents. she, out of all people, would never forget a date like today. 

aish, i ought to hit myself. i am so so so stupid. the youngest in seventeen and also the dumbest. 

she looked so pretty right there and then. as they ended the birthday song with cheers and claps, chan found himself gravitating towards her and capturing her in a cuddle. 

“you’re here too.” he breathed her in. she smelt like flowers and warmth and home. he liked it. 

she giggled. “of course i’m here. i would never miss your birthday, you know.“ 

"i know.” chan sighed and closed his eyes. what was this feeling? was it bliss? happiness? he didn’t know. maybe one of his hyungs would. he’d make sure to ask later.

but there was one thing he did know: he loved everybody in the room. so, so, very much. 

the voice of their choreographer cut through the cheerful atmosphere. "come here everybody, gather round, i’ll help you take pictures.” she tutted as she reached for the camera. "wow, this looks really nice. like something out of a storybook. look here everyone! say ‘happy birthday chan’! 1, 2, 3!" 

23 : 05

she got one polaroid as a momento. "here,” their choreographer had said, “you’re his girlfriend. i picked the best one for you. go home and display it somewhere. if chan comes over and sees it, he’ll be very happy." 

as she tucked herself into bed that night, she rolled over to face her study table. the polaroid hung from a string strung across the cork board above her desk. and when sleep lulled her into dreamland, the only thing she remembered was how lovely the picture looked, with sparkles, streamers, happy faces and so full of love. oh, and how the stars twinkled so bright tonight. 

today, was indeed a fairy tale.

11 . 02 . 17 ♡ happy birthday, chan ♡

[ievenranthisfar]

My Aconcagua Adventure:  Day 13, Summiting the Mountain

Note: I’m publishing my entire Aconcagua journal serially. If you want to read from the beginning, start here.

2/10/17 – Day Thirteen

Like  I was saying… hot damn! 

Yesterday was full-on. Absolutely brutal. Way too long. But also, transcendental.

Because of the weather on the horizon, we had to alter our plans slightly. So rather than sleeping at Camp Colera [Camp Three, 19,357 ft] and attacking the summit from there, we stayed down in Nido de Cóndores [Camp Two, 17,717 ft]. That meant we’d be adding about 500 meters [1,640 ft] up and down plus another 3+ish hours to our day. Not ideal, but we figured it was our best shot. It also meant we’d have to alter our nutrition plan since we cached all our summit day food up at Colera prior to our plans change. (Most tragically, it ALSO meant we didn’t have our massive 960-calories bag of dehydrated macaroni and cheese we had been eagerly saving for our pre-summit dinner.) 

The night before we left, I couldn’t sleep at all. Not because I was nervous, just because of the same weird inability to sleep at this altitude I’ve mentioned before. I put my iPod on and listening to all the Bon Iver and M83 I had, hoping the noise would lull me to sleep. It didn’t. Finally, somewhere around 3:00 in the morning, I finally passed out. Ironically, I slept through my alarm at 4:30. But thanks to my inability to sleep, I woke up at 4:38 and roused Michael.

It was go time.

Fully bundled in four layers of gear, with headlamps strapped to our skulls, we took off under the light of a full moon. Departure time: 5:35am.

The first quartet of our day was the climb back up to Camp Colera. It was dark and frigid and slow. In the early hours, Michael seemed to struggle. He kept falling behind and needing to adjust his layers every five minutes or so. I wasn’t feeling too hot either due to my total lack of sleep the previous two nights. As we slowly picked along, I thought to myself, “So much for the summit.”

Surprisingly, we made it to Colera in about 1 hours, 45 minutes, the same time as two days prior with less gear and more sleep.

The sun had just punctured the horizon as we reached Colera, and we used it as an excuse to take a rest, grab food from our cache and... take monster dumps.

Speaking of beautiful things, watching night giving way to dawn giving way to sunrise at 20,000 feet was absolutely stunning. To be on the tallest thing around and seeing the other snow-covered mountains around us yawn awake was truly breath-taking.

From Colera, we had a fairly long and uneventful slog up to the Independencia Hut. By now, my toes were getting very cold. Fingers and toes had been my major preoccupation the entire expedition. Mine naturally tend to get cold easily, and I’d like very much to keep them. So I spent the majority of the day wiggling my toes in my boots to make sure I could still feel them or trying to kick blood back into them. In some ways, this was the scariest part of the whole adventure because HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE FROSTBITE WHEN THE WHOLE POINT OF FROSTBITE IS THAT YO CAN’T FEEL YOUR TOES ANYMORE?? 

We reached the Independencia Hut around 9:40am. Its claim to fame is that it’s the high refuge in the world, sitting at a staggering 6,400 m [20,997 ft] above sea level. But it’s also in pretty rough shape. The roof is blown off, and you could maybe squeeze two people in there. Maybe.

But, we were grateful for a rest and hid ourselves from the howling wind behind (what was left of) the hut. Realizing we hadn’t really eaten much, we used the opportunity to eat and drink a little, although we quickly discovered that a) with our effort level, the current elevation and the cold, the thought of eating bars or gels was wholly unappealing and b) despite being inside insulators, our Nalgenes had begun to freeze over, making drinking difficult. Not bueno.

We had already made it 1,000 meters [3,281 ft] on the day. We naively told ourselves, “Only 500 more!” So we slugged our packs over our shoulders and foolishly pressed on into the wind.

Right above Independencia Hut is Windy Ridge. Windy Ridge is called Windy Ridge because it’s a ridge that’s really windy. And if I didn’t mention before, the ridge is really, really windy. So as I was getting blasted in the face by 85 kph [53 mph] winds with snot freezing in streaks across my face, I screamed, “OK! I GET IT! IT’S WINDY!” 

The base of Windy Ridge put us at the start of the second half our journey: the Gran Acarreo (“The Long Haul”). It’s basically a long, windswept scree field pitched at 30° to 45° that you traverse to reach the base of the final push. It’s not particularly tough on paper, simply super windy and long. Most of the time we were forced to walk semi-backwards to protect our faces from the howling wind. And every time I looked up to see how far we’d come, I would just think, “Shit. Is that it??”

Finally, the Gran Acarreo gave way to the infamous and dreaded Canaleta. The Canleta is really the only feature anyone talks about on Aconcagua. It’s essentially another scree field featuring rocks ranging from pebbles to boulders that stretches the last 400 meters [1,312 ft] to the summit. Normally, on a normal mountain, it would be fairly tough. But seeing as it starts at 6,500 meters [21,325 ft] above sea level... It. Is. Soul-crushing. 

I’m not really sure how to even describe what it feels like. You can see the summit the entire climb, and you think, “Oh, it’s right there.” And then another hour passes and you think the same thing. And then another hour. And another hour.

Your pace is basically non-existent. Or rather, it’s half-step, half-step, half-step, half-step, rest on poles and breathe heavily for two minutes. And if you have to navigate a big step up or loose scree incline, add another three minutes of breathing time. It sucked. Really hard.

We finally made it to a resting place maybe 300 meters [984 ft] from the top near some caves. Michael was really struggling again (I mean, so was I), and I was still supremely concerned about my toes, which I could now only barely wriggle and only together a single unit. They were nearing the danger zone.

As we left the caves, we passed what seemed to an alpine stretcher about 20 feet to our left. I’m not 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure inside was the body of the North American guy who died up there. We heard that his body was still up by the Cuevas, and I saw what looked like two bootied feet sticking out the end. Whomever it was, it was a sobering reminder of what we were undertaking.

By now, with the altitude, I started to feel like I was moving outside my body. Noises started to sound differently. Some became barely audible. Others sounded like they were next to my head. I used the squeaking of my poles twisting in the snow as a totem. It helped to keep me conscious and present. But it didn’t always work. I realized after long stretches of time that I hadn’t bothered to wriggle or even think about wriggling or even care enough to think about wriggling my toes. I was totally spaced. And Michael was pulling farther and farther ahead of me.

We were both severely hypoxic by now. Our progress slowed considerably and despite being only 150 meters [492 ft] from the peak, we were growing more apathetic with every step.

It’s a weird kind of endurance, this mountaineering thing. Deep determination, ambushed by howling apathy.

Another hour or so later we were so close to the top, we could see the rock. But between it and us was a narrow, very steep ledge covered in icy snow. Michael said he was going to put his crampons on. “But we’re right there,” I protested. Literally we were 150 steps away. The summit was right there. But he was right. So, breathing heavily, I shrugged my pack off my back, sat down on the edge of the trail, grabbed the crampons and tried to attach them to my boots. We had done the same thing 200 meter [656 ft] and two hours earlier, and that was difficult. But now, at around 6,900 meters [22,638 ft], it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I just couldn’t bend fair enough to get this one strap through this one little hole on my right crampon. I grunted and strained and breathed. With each attempt, I was burning precious oxygen. I was getting angrier by the second. 

Finally, I got it. I sat up and suddenly came to. Holy shit.

I had blacked out for about ten minutes. I lost track of time and space. It was confusing and—needlessly to say—a little scary, especially since I was sitting on the ledge of the trail. A fall off to the left would’ve been a nasty spill down the very precipitous scree field. But at least I had my damn crampons on. So I collected myself, and we moved out. So close.

Just like some kind of cheesy where the hero stumbles across the room to hit the red button that saves the whole planet, we staggered towards the summit. Despite being able to see the summit literally in front of us, we couldn’t move any faster. Our legs and lungs felt encrusted in concrete.

And then suddenly, we were there. We had made it. The highest point in the Americas. 22,841 feet. Time: 2:08pm.

I tried to get Michael to hit sticks like we always did at the end of a climb, but he just stared at the ground and groaned, “Noooo.” I think it was a combination of hypoxia and the fact he had tossed his poles about two feet away.

We took a few pictures, hugged and just tried to soak it all in. The moment was almost too big to full comprehend it. 

In one book, I’d read that because the Himalayan season starts a few months after Aconcagua’s, when you stand on the summit, you could very well be the highest person at Planet Earth at that exact moment. And it felt like that. (Also, just to make sure, I stumbled over to the biggest rock up there and stood on it. That way I’d be higher than Michael.)

We had done it.

But of course, if you go up, you have to come down. And we had spent just about every ounce of energy, mental capacity and emotion making it to the summit. That, combined with our lack of eating or drinking, meant we were seriously, seriously toasted. It was time to get down. We had been on the summit about 25 minutes.

As we started picking our way down slowly, it became readily apparent that Michael was really messed up. He was stumbling. And stopping. And cursing. I wasn’t far off myself.

We—very slowly—made it back to the Cuevas where we forced ourselves to eat and drink whatever we could. I shoved my bag of tortilla chips into my face to get some salt. But only half of the chip actually made it into my mouth. The rest either tumbled down the front of my jacket or ended up glued to my now-frozen-solid mustache and beard. A guide and two German hikers sitting nearby gawked at us with a combination of pity and disgust. We were drooling on ourselves.

After our stop, we descended the rest of the 1,300 meters [4,265 ft] feeling somewhere between gold garbage and hot garbage. Michael stumbled a few more times, slicing into his down pants with his crampons, and I threatened to force-feed him some dexamethasone.

By the time we starting coming of Colera, it was my turn to feel awful. We had started running down the steep slope, just wanted to be done and back in the tent. And in the late afternoon sun, with all my gear on, I started to get severely overheated and nearly fell a few times on our final descent.

But finally we had made it.

We were done. Total time: 12 hours, 15ish minutes.

We threw our shit down and just groaned outside our tent. Then we got inside the tent and groaned for even longer in there.

But we had done it.

We lay face-down on our sleeping bags for a few hours. It was total-body exhaustion. I wasn’t sore or hurting, just utterly depleted. Depleted physically, mentally, emotionally, everything-else-ally. As I the whole thing over in my head, trying to decide if it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m still not sure.

But we did it.

For the next few hours, we tried to move as little as possible from the warmth and comfort of our sleeping bags. Occasionally, I would wriggle my toes just because I could and nothing on Earth could make me happier.

Remarkably, neither of us had very bad headaches. We mostly just didn’t want to ever move again. So instead, we cooked our precious dehydrated mac and cheese while fully laying down, out the door of our tent. I was still feeling outside of my body—a very strange sensation—but once we wolfed down our amazing mac and cheese, we both instantly started to feel better. 

I slept better last night than I have any other night this entire expedition (and at 18,000 feet no less). I did, however, have at least three different dreams that we had somehow flown home without spending any time in Mendoza to eat steak and drink Malbec. (That was secretly the ulterior motive behind this entire trip.) In the final dream, as some sort of weird consolation, my brain invented a story about an anti-smoking group stationed at a mall giving me front-row seats to see Usher in concert as well as a dozen logs of cheese. It made no sense, but I assume it’s a metaphor for something. 

Ironically, after all that worrying about my toes, it was my fingers that got it bad. When I awoke the next morning, I noticed a burning sensation on the tips of my fingers. After mentioning to Michael, I realized it was very mild frostbite. Awesome. 

After lazily getting up, we packed our gear and made our way from Nido to Base Camp. Because we had to carry down everything we had plus all our caches, we had a lot of shit. Literally. We had to haul down all the poops we had taken on the mountain in a plastic bag. There was also a lot of leftover food we didn’t eat. Our packs weren’t just heavy but comically exploding too. 

But as we cranked down the mountain with our massive packs almost tipping us over, passing conga lines of other nervous hikers going up, all I could do was smile and think, “You suckers have no idea what you’re in for.”

Because now we did.

[glenngaylord]

VIDEO KILLED THE MOVIE STAR - My Review of READY PLAYER ONE (3 Stars)

I didn’t grow up on video games.  An occasional round of Ms. Pac Man was about as far as I wanted to indulge. I much preferred allowing a strong director guide me through a film story rather than trusting my own instincts and limited knob control skills with a game.  One of those directors I’d follow anywhere was/is Steven Spielberg.  Love him or hate him, there’s no denying he’s a Great American Showman with a keen knack for making sure his audience is invested enough in his main characters to follow them on their sometimes epic journeys.  His latest, which comes fresh off the heels of the decidedly more adult THE POST, has wonderful sweep and many pleasures, but aims squarely for the gamers and 80s nostalgia buffs out there.

I loved the 80s, with its magical explosion of power pop songs, music videos, and multiplexes filled with one great teen comedy after another.  Sure, we had Reagan, the onset of AIDS, and oppressive regimes committing atrocities without the internet’s ability to expose them with a well-placed Tweet, but as far as pop culture was concerned, it was pretty special.  READY PLAYER ONE, co-written by its novelist, Ernest Cline and Zak Penn, fills every frame with 80s references when its not emulating an immersive, virtual reality video game.  While fun and light, it wore out its welcome with me due to a bloated 2 hour, 20 minute running time and a fairly confused message.  

It’s 2045, and our hero, Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan of MUD), lives in a dystopian, post-apocalyptic Columbus, Ohio.  After a series of wars and shortages, most people live in squalor in RVs stacked high on top of each other (called The Stacks).  With such miserable living conditions, their only escape is to strap on VR goggles and enter the “Oasis”, where life resembles the unlimited imagination of an ever-expanding game.  In addition its endless pleasures lies planets filled with war and terror, but it’s all make believe.  The big drawback is that a giant corporation controls the Oasis, and its players can either collect or lose coins, the latter resulting in imprisonment, enslavement, or worse.  Bottom line:  The world is addicted to the game and are willing to take the risks it presents.  

When James Halliday, one of the founders of the Oasis dies (a terrific performance by Speilberg’s lucky charm, Mark Rylance), he leaves behind a video message ceding ownership of his baby and trillions of dollars if a player can locate three keys hidden somewhere in the game.  Along with a slew of individuals competing for this great prize, an evil corporation forces its minions to vie for the prize.  It’s the 99 percenters like Wade and his Merry Band of Misfits versus the 1% as the great race begins.  Unlike so many of its fantasy-driver counterparts…I see you VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS!…READY PLAYER ONE lays out its premise rather flawlessly.  Despite its overstuffed imagery, it’s an easy film to follow, thanks to its screenwriters and Spielberg’s career-long insistence on clean storytelling.  

Unfortunately, we spend so much time inside the Oasis, an entirely animated world where our main characters get replaced by CGI avatars.  As such, we don’t get to see very much of Sheridan or his scrappy cohort/love interest played by Olivia Cooke (ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL) in the flesh.  Sure, their avatars defy gravity at times and bounce deliriously through the many well-staged chase sequences, but there’s a human connection missing at times.  I kept wishing the avatars looked just like the actors so that we could get more of their performances.  If Keanu Reeves can enter THE MATRIX intact, so could they!  

That’s not to say that the Oasis is without its fun.  This film contains so many Easter Eggs in the form of movie and music references from the 80s, including a funny but not for children sequence inside one of the most influential horror movies of all time.  We also get Freddie Krueger, Beetlejuice, Aliens, and Chucky to namecheck along the way.  I may want to see it again just to spot the references. Also, TJ Miller (late of SILICON VALLEY) does great voice work as does Lena Waithe (MASTER OF NONE), but, call me crazy, I would have invested more in this story had I been able to watch more human faces.  Hell, Ben Mendelsohn, as an evil corporate villain, has an avatar that looks just like him, so why can’t everyone else have that luxury?

My biggest problem with the film, however, is that for a story with a message that we need to put down our computers and phones once in a while to enjoy the reality in front of us, it spends a disproportionate amount of time in the VR sector trying to entertain and thrill us.  The marketing sucks us in with its promise of non-stop virtual action…and the film does this so, so well…but then it pulls the rug out from under us to sell us on a different, opposing message.  Spielberg seems to want to have his pixelated cake and eat it too!  As such, I left the film somewhat confused.  With its I LOVE THE 80s soundtrack, I’m not complaining that Van Halen’s “Jump” found its way in there, but as a non-gamer, I was exhausted.  I wanted to go home afterward, curl up into a ball and watch two people talking MY DINNER WITH ANDRE-style to cleanse myself of the audio and video assault I had just witnessed.