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arcticdementor · 4 years ago

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Many on our side see an analogy between our current situation and the closing days of the Roman Republic. I myself wish this was so; fighting for Caesar is far more attractive a prospect than the alternative. But there is an alternate historical analogy, which I consider even slightly more likely; that we are not in the latter days of the Roman Republic, but the Roman Empire.

And moreover, we are not Rome but Carthage. Germany (very ironically) was Rome; this land-empire with its military traditions and its two wars against the Anglo-American thalassocracy being precisely analogous to the Punic wars; America is to England what Carthage was to Phoenicia. In our case, the necessity of high technology to effectively wage war lent a vast advantage to the sea-power with uncontested control of global supply lines. Rome itself even realized the importance of contesting Carthaginian naval dominance, and in the first Punic War endured titanic losses until they could beat Carthage on the seas; Germany did not have the will, or the ability, to do so, and thus lost.

Imagine Hannibal, returning victorious from a Rome burned to the ground and scattered into the Tiber, assassinated by a cabal of Carthaginian priests, who not only proceed to institutionalize their massive informal authority over Carthage itself, but wage a crusade to spread the worship of Moloch over all the known world, and you have a picture of what occurred in America shortly before and directly after the Second World War. Because we are not waiting for Caesar; we have had our Caesar, the difference being that, as a priest of an evil religion, he did not replace a corrupt and decadent republic with based military autocracy, but with the sinister rule of a caste of Gnostic managerialists caught in a holiness spiral.

Under Franklin Delano Roosevelt the forms of the old Republic continued, but their content had been hollowed out. The opinions of the property-holding white man, the original (though expansive) patrician class of the Old Republic, became politically irrelevant; the opinions of the priestly apparatus of educated bureaucrats and “experts” installed by Roosevelt would inescapably begin to dictate policy. Of course, FDR already crossed the Rubicon, not in running for a third and fourth term, but in attaching the unconstitutional priestly apparatus to the levers of American power.

…

In the final decades of Rome, barbarian kings used weak emperors as puppets, using the Roman imperial form as a thin cloak for the same style of governance that served the Germanic tribes in the Black Forest. Likewise, the imperial-bureaucratic forms instituted by FDR are being themselves hollowed out by barbarians. We are not totally there yet, but Indian caste-nepotism, “BIPOC” racial revanchism, and Chinese managerialism are working their way into the theocratic power apparatus of the Left. Eventually, academia, journalism, the three-letter-agency, and the HR department, will be entirely skin-suited. Some time later, just as the barbarian kings of Rome did, the skin-suit will be cast off, the puppet disposed of, and these three main currents of barbarism will feud and war openly with each other over the ruins.

Because we are Carthage, and not Rome, these struggles have, and are, taking the form of ideological disputes rather than hot civil war. The power struggles of priests, of course, spill over eventually into hot civil war, but this is my main explanation for why, unlike Rome, we did not experience frequent and bloody civil wars over the occupancy of the throne. We have, of course, experienced multiple ideological civil wars, with last decade’s holiness overthrown by Current Year holiness.

Sounds pretty bleak. But in Rome, we can count several figures of latter days with the will and honor to attempt restoration. They failed, but it is not up to me to judge whether or not such an enterprise will always fail. Trump is one such figure, and his problem is a lack of loyalists, just as Majorian and Aurelian were betrayed. But Trump is no conquering general; Rome had, even in late times, an existing tradition of blood and honor that could produce great men. We do not have such a tradition; our priesthood has ensured the destruction of all such “aristocratic” enclaves that can breed reaction; especially in the case of the military, whose upper ranks are staffed entirely by priests loyal to the regime. Mutiny is always possible, but mutinies need leaders. The great warriors and intellectuals of our times are leading lives of pure obscurity, for our society is remarkably efficient at promoting affable mediocrities (a necessity when the claims of the priesthood are lies from head to tail) and divesting the energies of the competent into atomic and meaningless pursuits. The fat neckbeard arguing on internet forums over Star Wars canon is a frustrated theologian; the skinny geek optimizing strategies for competitive videogaming a frustrated military officer.

Everything in our society is fake and gay, and even people showing glimmers of greatness or competence have been faggotized. And it is not as though such people are even curable, by and large. For such exacting and laser-focused men, it is necessary that they be bred and raised with a sense of civic duty, to cultivate their will-to-power and the confidence it takes to rule. That is what I meant when I spoke of a “tradition of blood and honor”; it is not necessarily even military, for the WASP elite of the American East coast had these aristocratic traditions for diplomacy and civil service, even if put to evil ends.

To find who will take power after the fall, we must look for bastions of incipient elites. The BIPOC coalition is too retarded, generally speaking, to rule anything. (BIPOC itself being a new designation meant to separate dumb and holy subhumans from competent east asians and high-caste indians) However, the BIPOCs are conspicuously holier than anybody else in the left’s eschatology. If they end up in charge, we are looking at the Cambodian autogenocide or Mao’s Great Leap Forward on an even greater scale, ending as Haiti ended unless stopped by a Stalin. In Haiti, by the way, and here I am speaking to the lesbian mulatta commissar reading this in horror, they killed and literally ate the mulattoes after they were through with the whites, a fact that should make you just a little bit uneasy about your future.

I consider it unlikely that the Chinese faction will come out on top. East Asians are already having their POC status revoked, hence the new “BIPOC”, and they’re still licking inner party boot. But supposing that the Chinese turn America into one big Toronto, life under our Judeo-HAPA mandarins will probably be materially safer and better for the Amerikaner than it is currently. On the flip side, he will be reduced to an entirely fellaheen existence as social and moral decay continues unabated. I like greatness, and this state of affairs would seem to me grotesque and intolerable.

The Indians have a decent shot, being able to hide behind the dumber and less competent members of their race. The high-caste Indian, however, is perfectly content to live on top of a festering heap of human and literal garbage; in fact, he probably feels a great unease in a society that does not look like the great slums pouring their filth into the Ganges, and will strive to recreate his homeland in his conquered land.

The castizo future is another option; the problem is a lack of castizos. Most latinos settled in the US are of low human quality; the whiter and smarter latinos back home tend to stay home, because they are in charge. However, the Cuban exile community in Florida is one to keep an eye on, for they are not only generally aligned with the values of civilization, but are an actual elite, collectively kicked out of Cuba, and an actual community, that has the potential for cohesion. Like at home, they have an imperial multiracial identity that brings along their swarthier cousins as allies and footsoldiers.

Finally we come to the Amerikaner, but the Amerikaner has no elite class; in fact, he never did. Trump is their representative, but they have no loyalists to send him, and the cultivation of an aristocracy from their ranks is his greatest necessity if he wins. In our Rome-Carthage analogy, the victory of the Amerikaner represents itself a barbarian conquest, a revolt by a janissary people, subjugated long ago, that has since fought the wars of the evil priests. (Carthage itself was notorious for using janissaries) Though it will wear the garment of FDR’s Empire, it would in content be a far older form of rule, a ghost of the frontier and the West, the clannish politics of the small town (and I say that with respect) elevated to a grandiose scale.

#aidan maclear

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vernonluver · 5 years ago

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24 hrs - wong lucas

prompt- 24 hours with your secret boyfriend wong lucas

word count- 1.9k

note- omg im posting hehe uhh theres no warnings in this besides so angst and theres literally no talking in this my bad homes

5:00am

It happens almost every morning, you get a text from your boyfriend telling you good morning and how much he loves you. That he knows you’re asleep but somehow someway you’ll wake up from your deep sleep to text him back before his recordings start. You’ve been with Lucas for a year and for that year the only two people who know of the relationship are you two, and you’ve made it work. The sneaking around gets old and sometimes you feel like he forgets you exist, but he doesn’t, it’s quite the opposite actually. You’re always on his mind, when he’s surrounded by camera crews and his band mates the only person he can’t seem to forget is you. When these thoughts get too much the text at five in morning always comes and you feel the love from him pour through his words.

“Good morning my love, today the guys and I are filming for a variety show that I don’t know much about, hopefully that doesn’t bite me in the as haha. I love you so much and I hope your morning is wonderful despite classes. Text me when you wake up, I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you tonight. <333333”

7:00am

Your alarm never fails to leave you agitated, the shrill sound pissed you off beyond belief but you know that you have to make your eight am because if you miss another class your professor would kill you. You look at your phone to see Lucas’ text to you, a smile finding its way onto your tired face, he never failed to make you smile like a dummy. He was the love of your life and you couldn’t wait for the day you could tell the world. He made the gloomy days so much brighter with his loud laugh and contagious smile. You sent him a text back telling him about your plans for the day that you hoped his filming goes well and that you love him too. You drag yourself out of bed, your feet feeling a little lighter now that you’ve talked to your boyfriend, your eight am was waiting for you and who were you to keep intro to psych waiting?

9:30am

Your first class of the day was over and you had an hour and a half to kill before heading to your second and final class of the day. You decide that feeding yourself would be best and you head to the cafe that had the muffins you loved so much. After a long day for Lucas you brought him a muffin from the cafe that sits on the edge of campus, it was a chocolate one, that was probably the happiest you had seen Lucas in weeks. The muffin brought him so much joy you couldn’t help but buy one for yourself along with a coffee, you ate the food with a smile on your face.

12:30pm

Your class had finished for the day and now it was time to go have lunch with your friends, you were very lucky to have them. When you couldn’t see Lucas they always cheered you up, and they loved to go and eat lunch. They’re loud laughs always made your cheeks hurt from smiling so big. Half way through talking about due dates and horrible teachers your back pocket buzzes meaning you got a text. When you saw Baby<3 pop up on your screen you tried your best to hide the smile that was fighting to take over your face.

“I hope your classes went well today my baby, there is only a few more hours left of shooting and then I’ll be able to head to yours and give you all the hugs and kisses I want hehe. I love you, have fun with your friends!”

He was so sweet, so sweet it almost hurt you. Sometimes you felt like you didn’t deserve him, that he was too good and too pure. These thoughts didn’t have time to take over before one of your friends called you out for smiling at your phone, an eyebrow raised as if asking who is it that is making you blush. You hope the excuse of a picture of your dog from home will trick them once again.

2:30pm

You smile at your coworkers and greet customers as you walk into the small coffee shop you work in, It wasn’t the best place to work and the pay kind of sucked but it payed the bills, and that is all you could ask for. The four hour shift felt like it could last for forever when you know that Lucas would be at your house in just a few hours, he just couldn’t seem to leave you alone today. He invaded very thought you had, you wondered if he would like the new drink your cafe had been promoting, or what he would think of the things you’re learning in class. He followed you around like a shadow but without actually being there. Lucas had you so sidetracked today that you accidentally called out his name instead of a customers, you were so embarrassed you couldn’t look the guy in for the rest of the time he was in the cafe.

6:30

You leave the cafe smelling like coffee beans and sugar, the smell almost too sweet. You were so excited to see Lucas you almost forgot you needed to pick up dinner for the both of you. Thai food, you loved it and he couldn’t seem to eat enough of it. The wait wasn’t long and soon you were on your way to you apartment and texting Lucas that you were off work and picked up food. He texted back a few minutes later saying that he had just gotten back to the dorms and to give him another hour to sneak off. You smiled at the text and sent him back some hearts. Before you knew it you were at your apartment.

7:00pm

Once you’re home and the food is in the microwave to stay warm you hop in the shower to get the smell of coffee off of you. You text Xuxi that you’re home, that the front door is open, and that your roommate isn’t home. The shower doesn’t last very long and soon you’re changing into shorts and one of Lucas’ shirts, somehow it still smells like him even after being in your house for so long. You see a text from Lucas ten minutes ago saying that he’s about twenty minutes away. You put some night cream on and try and dry your hair as much as you could.

7:25pm

You heard the door open and shut and then foot steps sounded into the kitchen where you stood. You turn around and a huge smile took residence on your face. Lucas was covered in black from head to toe, even a mask adorned his face. Your legs moved before your mind and soon you had your arms around his neck and you were pressing kisses everywhere his mask wasn’t. His laugh flooded the apartment and his hands pulled down the mask and he pulled you closer to him so he could finally kiss you. His lips were soft, as they always were, and his grip was tight on your waist. It had been a few weeks since you last saw each other, and the desperation in your kisses and touches expressed that wanting for the both of you. Soon you both break away, breathless but the hunger you both felt was over powering. You both sat down, the thai food in your laps and you both talked about your days. Lucas told you about all the dumb ass games the host made all the boys play and you told him about the ridiculous amount of homework your psych professor assigned you. Every so often between bites he would lean over and kiss you, once, twice, maybe three times just to hear you laugh and feel you on him. You ached to have this every day, not just once every few weeks when he could seek out of the dorms. You had to wait, and you understood that, but it didn’t make it any less painful.

8:00pm

You told Lucas to go shower and take his makeup off, you knew he couldn’t be comfortable in his skin tight clothing that the stylist always put him in. While he showered you cleaned up the kitchen and tried your hardest to push away the sadness that was slowly filling your chest. You didn’t want him to leave, you wanted him to always be with you and stay in your arms, no matter how selfish it was. He is you baby and you never wanted to let him go. When he got out of the shower, now in clothes that he kept at yours just in case, you laid in bed. His chest was against yours and his head was in the crook of your neck. You could feel his breathing matching up every time you ran your fingers through his dark hair.

9:30pm

You two decided that you wanted to watch We Bare Bears. You find comfort in the show, and he found it funny. He found ice bear super funny, you swear you had never seen him laugh as hard as he did when Ice Bears drone got smashed by the subway. His laugh sounded like music to your ears. Lucas kept kissing you, leaving small pecks all over your face, neck, and shoulders. He never wanted to leave your side.

10:30pm

You’re both tired, but neither of you want to sleep. You don’t want to leave his arms and he would rather never have another shooting if it meant he got to spend the rest of his time like this. How he was able to spend the night with you, you didn’t know, but you didn’t question. After the TV was turned off and you two felt sleep creeping up on you, you realized you didn’t know the next time you would see him. You decided not to focus on that but on the fact that the love of your life was in your arms. You focused on his breath hitting the side of your face and how the sleepier he got the more his hands would twitch indicating that he was getting closer to sleep. You kissed his cheek and told him you loved him, he groaned in response but you knew what he meant.

5:00am

You woke up to Lucas pulling the covers over your shoulders and him kissing you on the top of your head. When he saw your eyes open he smiled down at you, telling you to go back to bed and that he would text you later and to enjoy your day. You smiled up at him and let out a raspy “I love you”, he giggled and told you he loved you too. He left the room after many more kisses and you closed your eyes, trying to get a few more hours of sleep before your classes for the day start. You’re almost asleep when you hear your phone go off. You roll over and beam at your phone seeing a text from Xuxi.

“I know I just left you but I wanted to tell you how much I love you again, thank you for staying with me when I know this situation is hard, only a few more months before we can tell the world about our love. Have an amazing day at uni and pls don’t forget to eat and do your homework. I’ll talk to you later my baby, I love you<3333”

#nct #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct fluff #wayv #wayv fluff #lucas #wong lucas #wong yukhei #xuxi #lucas fluff #lucas x reader

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2spry · 6 years ago

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Ozark Foothills 50k Race Recap

Oh man… so I don’t even know where to start. I guess at the beginning. This was my first race back since I broke my foot, 1 year to the day actually. I still can’t believe it worked out that way. I was looking at races that were easy to travel to, and that were loop courses. I wanted a looped course in case my foot said “nope” and I needed to hop off course easily. I signed up for this race only 5 weeks out! I had had a year of major ups and downs, with multiple attempts at upping mileage with no avail. Every time I tried to increase or even add in a little speed work or hill training, my foot would blow up. When I say blow up, the pain would be bad enough to cause me to limp. It wasn’t until really February where I was not having much pain anymore. I hit, on average, in the 60-70 mile range for Jan and Feb, with 116 miles total in March. I also had only 2 speed work sessions (they were easier ones). So I signed up with the goal of only using this as a training run, to make sure my foot could handle the distance. If it did, I was going to pick a longer race next and really train for it! I was extremely nervous because having your foot snap during a race is very scary and the pain is something you never forget. I have had to work hard on my mind this past year because the fear was really taking over. The mind is so powerful. Working hard on mental training has been a huge help for me. That is one of my weaknesses.

The day before the race was crazy!!! I thought I really had everything lined up, but so many things happened which led to getting off late. It worked out though! This was an Altra sponsored race so I was also going to the packet pickup to help out my local Altra rep Erica, and I was covering the race for Road Runner Sports on their Instagram account. Doing both of these things was incredibly fun for me! I love new experiences! Plus, it got me out of my head!!! They had a screening of The Double, and the speaker was Jeff Browning (aka @GoBroncoBilly). It was chalk full of awesome information. One of the main things I took away from his talk was to slay the negative thoughts of the mind. I know this, but to hear someone so accomplished say that they have to do this all the time, really brought it home to me. The mind is so powerful. Once that was over we headed to the hotel.

We got to the hotel around 8:45ish and headed to the room. So far everything had been rather uneventful. Then the room keys wouldn’t work and we got locked out! Phones were in the room (key worked at first and then just wouldn’t, no idea). Anyway, we finally got everything in and ate dinner around 9:30. While I was eating, I realized, oh my goodness, I forgot to get my race packet!!! LOL!!! I mean who does that!?!? Goes to the race packet pickup and forgets to pickup their race packet!?!? Me apparently. Thank goodness they had race day pickup! Then we realized we forgot the bottom to the electric kettle for coffee in the am. Oh well. The front desk was able to provide it. After all that, I finally headed to sleep close to midnight. And sleep I didn’t.

Up at 3:45 exhausted! However, I did not have a headache or migraine which was HUGE!!! I cannot remember a race where I didn’t have one of those the night before or the day of. (When I ran my 50 miler, I had a migraine from the night before and it didn’t abate for 7 hrs of the race!) Not having a headache gave me such a boost!!! We got there at around 6:15 and it was foggy and dark. I had thought for a moment that it wasn’t going to lift, making a note to bring my headlamp next time just in case. It did finally lift and turned into a gorgeous sunrise!

I was super nervous, freezing (yes me the cold weather runner was freezing lol!), and very thankful once she blew the horn to start. I kept reminding myself that this is a training run, no pressure! I started out very conservative. I was really watching my footing (I did the whole race) and just trying to ease into a steady easy pace. It did take me awhile to warm up, but once I got going I felt pretty good! I would say after the 5th mile I felt like I was getting in a groove, getting more comfortable with the terrain, but I could feel my lack of training then too. Just the amount of vert and all the rocks and roots that I am not used to. My quads and ankles let me know that really quick, but I told my mind to shut it, slayed those negative thoughts, and told myself to just enjoy this! (There was 3,800 ft of ascent so lots of hills) I started to look around at the beauty of where I was and just got really emotional. Here I was running, in a gorgeous area, on trails, in an ultra, healthy. What a blessing!!! That gave me a boost and I started to pick up the pace. I think this was around mile 10-12. I started to pass people, but I had no idea what race they were running. You are on the course with 25k, 50k, and 50 mile runners.

Coming through the half, I felt really good! I really was ultra conservative with my footing and therefore hadn’t fallen yet. My upper body felt really good, and I know a big part of this was because of my new race vest fitting seamlessly. Super important to find one that works for your body! I filled up my water bladder with Ultima Replenisher, and headed out! But then had to run back cuz I forgot my MUIR gels!!! LOL! Made a bathroom pitstop and finally headed out. I had no stomach issues with that combination, it worked well!

The hardest mile for me was 17. My hands started to swell like crazy! I was using salt, so I didn’t know why I was swelling so bad. Still unsure of the cause. They were so swollen that I actually thought I was going to have to cut off my ring. I was feeling a bit more tired, and just kind of worried. I started opening and closing my hands and telling myself it was going to be fine. Then, about a mile or two later, it started to go down a bit and relief washed over me. I began to think about all my friends that can’t run right now and began running miles for them, praying for them and for this race. I started to pick up the pace. Once I started running, I began to catch up to people. It was so spread out at this point that passing was pretty easy. I hit a string of two people and wanted to pass them but I kept thinking, no they are keeping you conservative, you don’t want to blow up you’ve come so far. I was kind of panicking. I felt so good I thought it was a fluke. So I stayed for too long. Finally I told myself what are you doing!?!? Get going! So I asked to pass and took off. I kept passing people. I had someone tell me hey you’re going really fast!!! Are you sure you're feeling ok? (It was getting really hot at this point, 70’s) I said yes I feel great! They cheered me on! Each aid station had amazing volunteers and I cannot tell you how much their cheers help! I continued to try and catch people. I started having water poured into my mouth (I didn’t have a cup) and ice in my fandana to help with the heat. Plain water was tasting so good at that point. I also began grabbing orange slices.

I hit the last aid station feeling great! So much so that I neglected to check my water bladder. It was empty. You might not think that is a big deal, but it really is. In that heat with miles to go, you need it. I let myself have an “uh oh” moment and then moved on. Those last few miles were tough. I felt pretty dehydrated and very nauseous, but I kept pushing. I fell twice because I got a bit sloppy at watching my footing, and then rolled my ankle pretty bad. I noticed that not one person was around me still. I ran alone for a lot of the race. After limping a bit I pressed on and started running, only to hear footsteps behind me coming fast, I moved over and it was Jeff Browning. LOL! He was cruising, but made sure to take the time to tell me to keep pushing! So I did! I ran all the way into the finish! I had no idea if I was even in the top 10, so when I crossed the line and Shalini the RD told me I was 3rd female I was in complete shock!!! It was like a dream.

From one year ago breaking my foot, to now taking 3rd was crazy. It was a huge confidence boost to know that my foot could handle the distance and that I was able to have a podium finish with as little training as I did. I felt so blessed and humbled. A new memory to replace the old. A realization that I can do this! A thankful heart to have been able to run this race and finish. A grateful heart for all of the support and new friends that I made at this event. Thankful to the Lord for the gift of running.

Now that I know I can handle distance again, I am going to find my next race and really train for it. I am so excited and hopeful for the future. I cannot wait to see what happens!!!

Huge thank you to all the volunteers, the RD Shalini, my mother, and all of you who commented and supported me through this journey. Big thank you also to Road Runner Sports, Altra Running, Jaybird Sport, OS1st, Yukon Charlies, and Momentum Jewelry for your awesome support and gear to get me through!

Gear: Altra Running King MT 1.5 and gaiters Road Runner Sports R-Gear Recharge Compression Capri Altra running performance tank Garmin Fenix 5 Os1st Arm Sleeves Injinji trail crew socks Ultimate Direction Race Vesta with bladder not front bottles

Fuel: MUIR energy gels Ultima electrolyte replenisher Salt stick KION essential amino acids

Balm: Squirrel’s Nut Butter

Pic Cred IG accounts: Trail @mile90photo, Finish @alex.fagin

#ultrarunning trailrunning ozarkfoothills50k altraredteam teamaltra teamos1st roadrunnersports laceupandexplore ultramarathon trail

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letterfromtrenwith · 6 years ago

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Prescription Passion - Ch.1

My cheesily titled but I hope not cheesily written Carolight hospital AU :D

Dr Dwight Enys, coming home from several years abroad, takes a job in the A&£ dept of St Neot's hospital in Truro, not intending to be completely knocked for six by meeting a certain lovely dermatologist - Dr Caroline Penvenen.

Posting the first ch. for Carolight Week.

Maternity Ward

“How in the Hell – “ Dwight glared at the blue plastic sign above the double swing doors, as if staring at it hard enough might change it into something that made sense. While he’d admittedly only been working here a week, he couldn’t fathom how anybody found their way around this hospital. It was like a bloody labyrinth. Although that was all relative considering that the last hospital he’d worked in had essentially been three wooden huts stuck together. The St. Neot’s Infirmary was something else altogether.

Technically, his shift was over for today, but since the A&E dept. was currently running a little understaffed he was still on call until late that evening, before having 48 hours off. He had been planning on going home, since his flat wasn’t too far way to make getting back in an emergency unworkable, and he still had some serious unpacking to do. However, what he’d intended to be a quick trip to the HR department to swap his temporary staff card for a permanent one – hideous passport photo and all – had turned into a trip down the rabbit hole.

Blessedly, he knew someone in the maternity unit who would be able to give him directions. Verity Poldark was a senior midwife at St Neot’s, and had been the one to suggest Dwight apply for a job there. He’d met her when he was at medical school with her cousin, Ross, and she’d been a trainee at the university’s teaching hospital.

Verity was standing at the nurse’s station when he went in, looking harassed, her hair coming loose from its pins. It didn’t really look like the time to bother her – maybe he could ask someone else – but she managed a smile when she saw him.

“Hi, Dwight. What brings you here?”

“Being horribly lost, I’m afraid. I was going to ask if you could show me the way but I’ve obviously caught you at a busy time.” The whiteboard behind the desk showed that four o’clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday was apparently a popular time to be in labour.

“No, it’s – “ Before Verity could finish her sentence, the doors swung open again behind Dwight, and Verity looked behind him, breaking into a much wider smile of what seemed like relief.

“George! Thank God!” Dwight turned to find that George was a fair-haired man of about the same age as him.

“Somebody call for an anaesthetist?”

“GET ME THE FUCKING DRUGS!��

“I’ll take that as a yes.” George passed by Dwight without a second glance, heading into the room where the shout had emanated from. Verity made to follow him, but stopped.

“Are you doing anything at the minute, Dwight?”

“Er, no, not really.”

“Want to come and help deliver a very angry lady’s twins?” Dwight thought for a minute; about the pile of boxes he had to unpack and the papers from his aunt’s solicitor he still had to read.

“You know, I would.”

Dwight suppressed a yawn as he signed off on yet another patient form – a 14 year old boy who’d suffered an asthma attack during a PE lesson; he would fine, but Dwight had strongly advised him that it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave his inhaler on his bedside table when he was going to be playing rugby.

This morning had been a complete whirlwind. Five minutes after he’d clocked on, four victims of a car accident had been rushed in, all of whom needed stabilising before surgery; and then an 89-year-old woman with Alzheimer’s who was incredibly distressed after a fall at her care home; two workmen who’d sustained mild burns after a piece of equipment had caught fire. On and on and on they’d come. Friday was often a busy day in A & E – no Saturday night, but it could get chaotic. Just before the 14 year old boy, Dwight had seen a time of death pronounced on an overdose case, so he wasn’t feeling his best.

His 48 hours off hadn’t given him much rest, in the end, although he had collapsed face down on his bed first thing on Wednesday morning after Mrs Teague’s 12 hour-labour, which had ended in the arrival of boy and girl twins, seemingly hale and hearty.

Unlike most of the British hospitals Dwight had worked in, St Neot’s actually had a pretty decent canteen, and he thought a ham salad baguette and packet of posh crisps would hit the spot.

“Dwight! Over here!” Verity waved at him from the corner, and he weaved his way between tables occupied by a mix of uniform clad nurses, doctors in scrubs and patients with dressing gowns over their hospital nighties – the odd one with a drip. He hoped none of them were skipping out on ‘nil by mouth’ orders.

“Hi, Verity. Hello.” Verity was sitting with George, the anaesthetist from Tuesday night, and another woman who’d also been at the delivery. In the chaos, Dwight had never got her name, but he’d gathered she was the on-call obstetrician. She was very pretty, with short, dark brown hair and soft features; her smile was wide and friendly, her eyes warm. Dwight could imagine her being a soothing presence for nervous mothers-to-be. Today, she’d swapped her scrubs for a smart sleeveless blouse, her glasses tucked into the neck.

“Didn’t get a chance to introduce you all properly the other night.” Verity smiled. “Dr Dwight Enys, this is Dr George Warleggan and Dr Elizabeth Warleggan.”

“I assume that’s not a coincidence?” Dwight sat, putting down his tray to exchange handshakes with the other two, who smiled at each other in a way which made their connection rather obvious.

“No. They’re our resident lovebirds.” Verity grinned and Elizabeth shook her head.

“Thank you for your help the other night, by the way.”

“How is Mrs Teague? And the babies?”

“Mmm,” Elizabeth took a pull on the straw of her drink. “All well. They were discharged yesterday – we kept the twins for observation since they both had low blood pressure, but they were right as rain after 24 hours or so.”

“Mrs Teague seemed very…overwhelmed by the experience.”

“Ha! I’ll say.” Verity shook her head. “It takes women lots of ways but, Ruth…”

“All that screaming…” Elizabeth sighed. “And for such a straightforward delivery, especially for twins. I blame TV, you know. People see all those histrionics and they think that’s how it should be.”

“Says the woman who gave me a black eye when she was giving birth!” George cried and Elizabeth gave a dramatic sigh, looking up in an exaggerated appeal to the heavens.

“That was an accident!” She looked at Dwight. “I reached out for his hand during a particularly hard contraction and he happened to be bending forward at the same time…”

“That’s her story!” Dwight laughed. This was obviously a well-worn argument, and he couldn’t help but smile at the obvious affection between the two of them. He hadn’t got a proper look at George the other night – after administering the epidural he’d only needed to monitor Mrs Teague for a short while before the delivery team could take over, and then he’d been called away for a surgical procedure. Blue-eyed and fine-featured, he certainly made a handsome match with Elizabeth.

“So, how many children do you have?” Dwight asked.

“Two.” Elizabeth picked up her phone, scrolling through before handing it to him. The picture showed an adorable little boy of about three, with dark springy curls, peering curiously at a tiny light-haired baby. “Valentine, he’s nearly four now, and Ursula, she’s just turned one.”

“ – “ They obviously sensed his surprise at the unusual names, and Dwight was briefly afraid he’d offended them, but George smiled.

“Valentine was born on Valentine’s day, and Ursula was Elizabeth’s great-aunt, she died just before the baby was born. Also, there’s surprisingly little that goes with ‘Warleggan’.”

They chatted more as they ate, Dwight telling them a little about his time with Medicines sans Frontieres – although nothing about why he’d joined the organisation in the first place; even Verity didn’t know the full details there, and he certainly wasn’t ready to talk about it with strangers, even ones as nice as these. He did explain that he’d come home to Cornwall to take care of his Aunt’s estate, and that Verity had persuaded him to join the staff at St Neot’s.

“She’s the best recruiter this place has got!” Elizabeth laughed. “She got her brother here, too. And Demelza!”

Dwight had known Francis for a while, too, although not as well as the other Poldarks – he’d gone to a different uni, and practiced in Scotland for a few years. He was now a consultant ophthalmologist at St.Neot’s – the only one, actually.

“Demelza?” He’d met an awful lot of people since arriving at the hospital a couple of weeks ago, but he couldn’t remember her. He was sure he’d remember someone with such an unusual name.

“One of the hospital pharmacists.” Verity explained. “I met her at a yoga class, and she told me she wanted a change from her old job…”

“I think Dr. Martin said we were short a few A & E nurses if you fancy taking that on?” Verity elbowed him and he laughed. Suddenly, there was a beeping noise, and all four of them rummaged in their pockets.

“It’s me. Emergency surgery. Nice to meet you, Dwight.” With a quick kiss for Elizabeth, George was gone, his wife smiling after him.

“Aww…” Verity cooed.

“Shut up.” Elizabeth said primly, fighting a grin.

“No, I love it. You give this sad singleton hope for true love.” Verity sighed with exaggerated dreaminess, and Elizabeth snorted. After a moment, Dwight became aware of someone standing behind him, just as Elizabeth smiled widely.

“Caroline! Here, meet the new A & E registrar I told you about. Dwight, this is Dr Caroline Penvenen.” Dwight turned to greet the new arrival, and found himself completely lost for words.

#poldark #dwight enys #caroline penvenen #verity poldark #george warleggan #elizabeth warleggan #dwight x caroline #carolight #george x elizabeth #au #prescription passion #f: au #m: fic

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compo67 · 6 years ago

Text

the four seasons

i’m at my mom’s tonight. i kind of want to see if i can figure out the tv in her room (my room?), but i’m also tired and lazy. maybe i’ll just listen to the soundtrack to A Chef’s Table.

it’s Chilean independence weekend!

the actual day is tuesday :D

my mom’s friends made empanadas and they were... sad. :(

i saw sweet corn in the fridge so that means my mom is gonna be making pastel de choclo. not my favorite dish, but she makes it tasty.

work was super busy yesterday evening. D:

we were in voicemail all night and so many of my calls took 30 minutes instead of the usual 10 or 15. i was exhausted

today was better? i think? the calls weren’t as long, but idk

i got my new pedal exerciser!!! i was searching for a way to work out at home (because every gym organizes things by gender sigh) that was also easy on my joints and that i could do without over extending my joints

i love it so far. i did 21 miles on the 3rd resistance setting :D

it was easy to do during and in between calls

and the machine thingy is super quiet

i also started using myfitnesspal again because i fell off the wagon after surgery and while i was on prednisone

my dad and i went to trader joe’s this morning before my shift

i’m trying to follow a sort of ketogenic diet

except damn y’all that diet is tough because even fruits and veggies are super restricted

patreon messed up and i couldn’t access last month’s payout until two days ago... 12 days after i usually get everything squared away

so i’ve been unable to pay for a bunch of things but i finally go to go buy groceries thank fuck

and i can pay the water bill now, bless

i had enough in my account to pay for my car insurance, but then that left me with barely anything

we are all speculating what our merit increases will be this year

i’m hoping it’s $500/hr increases, but you know.... i won’t hold my breath

but i feel like since we just won a grant, maybe we should at least get a dollar an hour raise???

working part-time has been really, really good for my mental and physical health, but my financial health is like hey... little help here

but i am super grateful that i hoarded gift cards from christmas like smaug

my friend from the city is visiting tomorrow! :D

i started writing an android!Jared/mechanic!Jensen fic because i have no self control or discipline

it’s a one shot, and based off a prompt

who knows if i’ll finish it but yesssssss

i’ve made progress on my student/teacher fic, which pleases me. and i have a clear idea for the next boat chapter

i just need to... you know... write

my sister and i had portillo’s tonight

i got an italian beef, dipped, with cheese

then when we got home, i just ate the meat and cheese

which was good, but also sad

I LOVE BREAD

I LOVE CARBS IN GENERAL

/flails/

okay i should go wash off this LUSH face mask stuff

g’night! <3

#compo67 #authorial rambles #personal #i wrote this without my glasses on so #excuse all typos

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shytiff · 3 years ago

Text

September 2021

1 - MTBS 0 pt. tried out kopsus from jannor coffee with gofood pickup promo (10k). it tasted nutty and yummy even though it seems to use regular milk. but its kinda hot. the ac was not satisfactory. finished up the word for Prof. bought jasuke on the way back. filled out IDI form since i still have energy.

2 - mtbs again but this time its 3 patients at the same time. vcalled with kris. bought some snacks in hypermart. exercised a bit and played badminton with renata. watched 3 eps of nanno.

3 - my body aches and it will be wonderful to sleep again but its already 6:40. usila today. the ac in kamar jaga was no longer cold. finally finished moms box of brownies from like 2 weeks ago. read dear benjamin. got to enjoy some silence because i napped before maghrib and the others slept early.

4 - vaccine in GCD with teh fitri, teh fany and teh rahmi. about 440ish patients. gossiped about cibeber lmao. watched the hitman’s bodyguard. samuel and ryan was hilarious.

5 - morning walk with renata. saw cilegon’s cfd. cleaned up the room accompanied by howl’s soundtrack. made spaghetti with instant bolognese sauce, egg and cheese. o seven with tri nagita. just saw prof’s email from 2nd sept, shit. tried to get some headspace to do ppt.

6 - bp with nessa (originally kia/ugd). except therere some patients in ugd lol. did excision for clavus (1st timer!) and hecting. fried tempe (1st timer!) using someone’s leftover oil lmaooo

7 - BP with zihan. had spaghetti combined with cheese egg and mom’s chicken for lunch. instant bloating :). drank hot matcha to curb the bloat. planked. ate muesli lol. did not do anything significant today :( started the origin of species.

8 - vaccine today except it starts at 10:30 since we’re waiting for the mayor. so i hung out on the screening table since the doctor room was hot. vaccine with dr lutfi. watched homcha and nanno. fell asleep

9 - vaccine with bang esa and other staffs in smp 8 cikerai. its apparently the highest point in cikerai. finished at 12-ish pm and we ate buffet lunch lol. made matcha latte again. this time with almost 1 spoon of sugar so it tastes good. i missss matcha. read 1 webinar ppt so i guess thats a little but its something. rip attention span

10 - usila. tried A BIT of duren from bu Tur for dr isip but its enough to make me retch lmao. was given labbaik chicken by bu oo. Some exercise. rly tried to make some progress but my brain just cant seem to muster

11 - kia/ugd. Some ugd patients. Spaghetti for lunch yay. Originally intended to go to cafe but i ended up falling asleep :) tried to get some progress for PPT. Involved a lot of staring into nothing. Slept at like 00:30ish am

12 - morning walk slash jog. The jogging track was finally open. Went to jannor. Ordered kopsus and meatball potato dish with gofood takeaway promo (spent a total of 30k) . The staff kindly asked whether i want to eat there or to actually takeaway lol. The meatball truly tasted like meat. The mashed potato was a bit dry. The weather was grey and cloudy, exactly my favorite. First time cooking kangkung

13 - vaccine today. 20-ish patients. Alone in kamar jaga since nessa went to mass vaccine. Zoom call with Prof. Dyed my hair blue in flow salon (1200K). got free manicure, It took 5 hrs 😅. another firsts in life. both the nail tech and hair tech said my hair was dry lmao. arrived in mess at 9ish pm. ordered nasgor in front of mess

14 - mi rebus for bfast. not too much patients for vaccine so i finished at like 10 am. napped at kamar jaga. got free rice box from dr arief etc yay :)))) got mochacinno at jannor. tried to do sumn useful but cannot. still no ppt progress aaa. watched homcha ep 6 together

15 - vaccine in al hanif. tried chicken-cakwe porridge near the school. the school was an all girls school, with ppl wearing long veils. tried to fit the placement test from cakap (12-1 pm) during the vaccination lol. had to excuse myself to the ssaem during photo sesh. napped so i could see the 17 pm cakap class but i ended up napping until close to 18 :) saw the 19 am class with lukas ssaem

16 - spaghetti for bfast. usila today. this dumbass forgot to wear komin and wore her rubber slip ons. turns out theres some money from al hanif vaccine. which is great bcs there’s literally no paper money in my wallet lmaoo. rested a bit. dr eva called and she gave me a ppt and chapter book job. sheeet theres no progress yet of Prof’s ppt. a wake up call. whatsapped with frends that planned to go to cilegon this weekend, but it ended up being the next weekend. thank god, because dr eva’s ppt deadline is 24th sept. set myself up on a spot in the vanity table so i can work in a chair (i frfr find it difficult to work on my own bed)

17 - some patients in UGD. Slept while waiting for 2 pm. Held off my sleepiness for zoom with dr Eva. 5pm cakap class. Matcha latte. 7pm zoom w dr eva. Fell asleep after that

18 - bp. Turns out teh imey also dyed her hair. cakap class abt bts' spring day lol. Worked on dr eva's ppt

19 - jogged a bit. had kopsus (20K) and fish fillet rice (27K). finished dr eva’s ppt with the given material so far. napped in mess. dr eva also revised the ppt on the same day so there’s 2 slides left (patient clinical profile and conclusion). took some time for me to get the headspace to work on ppt so i started prof’s ppt at like 7-ish. only got 1 slide. stayed awake until 11ish but i basically stopped doing useful stuff at 9 TT TT

20 - vaccine today, finished at 10 am. lounged around. went to bni to check on m-banking, still system error. transferred 3mil from my BNI atm to muamalat. tried nasi goreng roa and cakalang with added chicken shreds (20K). so goood. conversed with nessa zihan. did not open my laptop at all :) stopped by at rodalink bcs nessa wanted to buy a bike. drank matcha latte in an effort to curb sleepiness. worked on Prof’s ppt. fried the frozen kebab (35K) i bought from teh Rahmi.

21 - vaccine P3K w teh yeni teh rahmi mas oim. 3 patients. Ate some gorengan and talked lol. Did the abstract and ppt for dr eva. Worked on Prof's ppt.

22 - usila w mas oim. Had banana, bolu and protein for bfast. Ordered nasgor roa cakalang from bakuku for lunch. Felt suuuuper sleepy afterwards. Wanted to sleep again in mess but couldnt. Washed my shitton of clothes with washing machine. Heavyyy. Worked more on PPT. Too much denial this week

23 - picked some groceries @ bu rum. Kia/ugd today. Its been a while since i last checked DJJ. Successful first attempt but fail in the 2nd bcs the baby is still floating. Cooked meat and veggies with nessren. Jannor and kopsus again. Worked on ppt til my head hurts. Its a little bit more to gooo.

24 - bp. Made myself bento with nugget and left over veggies. Finished the smol details of the ppt and finally sent it. Watched shangchi @ transmart w chillegone. The film was fun! We cooked soup at mess and tri made perkedel. Watched homcha ep7. Slept

25 - Vaccine but there was no vaccine, so I went to UKK @ villa ternak cikerai with pkm peeps. its like opening a clinic but somewhere in hills area. got treated to bakso and tempe mendoan afterwards. lazed around in my bed, with no info from jkt friends who wanted to visit but suddenly they arrived lmao. went to amaris to catch up with them. thankfully it was not hourly parking. ate at saung bonang near the billiard place with heri joining us. total bill for five was 126 lmao its rly pocket friendly. heri borrowed my motorbike bcs his friend’s place doesnt have car park. thank god we brought the bike

26 - me and racheel went downstairs to get the hotel bfast. packed fruits, tempe and bread upstairs lol. put our stuffs in royal krakatau. took maxim to pulau kecil. turns out pak asep changed his number. it was raining there, so we sat a bit and got mie rebus. had lunch at amirang (my treat). there was only us inside. the food was okay but the meat was rly overpriced for its amount. went back to the hotel. went to indomaret and mess with racheel to get my stuff. my stupid impatient ass dropped atikah’s brand new iphone while pulling the hotel towel from the bathroom rack. im sorryyyyy. racheel and i swam until maghrib. atikah told us abt her boy “friend”. slept early at like 9-10ish with the usual width but longer leg space

27 - and suddenly its time to go to puskesmas. asked nessa to bring my shoes. said goodbye to friends. BP. there were a lot of patients. kanayam for lunch. i bought shades lol bcs i commute against the sun in the morning. cakap club. watched homcha. fell asleep

28 - vaccine. finished at like 10:30. tried to go to bni to install mbanking but the queue was like 20 ppl. did the outline for the red book. liqo with kak kartika. zoom meeting with dr eva. fell asleep again

29 - vaccine in sma 3 cilegon (cikerai) with bang esa and others. finished at like 2-ish pm. got 750K hehehe. mentoring with dr. Arnadi about KKD and HHS. bought rotbak with nessa. showered and cleaned and fell asleeep

30 - cooked tempe with leftover kanayam chili sauce. bp again. saw interesting cases today, such as fixed drug eruption. bought phd from gofood promo. went to jannor and got the usual kopsus with added espresso (since the min amount for gofood pick up promo was 25k). tried to do prof’s script but cannot, so i searched the literatures needed for dr eva’s project

0 notes

imjohnnydora · 7 years ago

Note

1-117 :))))

EMMALINE THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY PLS ASK ME A QUESTION

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reasonyou are confused right now? well now i’m confused bc i’m trying to figure out why this question thinks im confused

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? lol no

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? i would?? care if they smoked often yes but not like every once in a while yknow

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? LOL NO

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? watching scandal i think

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is withyou? pal i dont get drunk but if i did i’d??? be with whoever i trusted to get drunk with i mean

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheatedon? ngl i’d call up all my friends bc i know they’d form a lil army to fight back for me

8: Are you close with your dad? im not rly close with either of my parents tbh

10: What are you listening to? uh my happy spotify playlist

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life- what is it? answered here

12: Do you like hickeys? no

13: What time do you go to bed? .....5am-ish

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? i mean not to vague or anything,,,

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? no

16: Do you always answer your texts? lol no

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? answered here

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? like talk in person or message bc 6 hrs ago to the former

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you seethem? yes

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed lastnight? do people like actually remember that i mean who

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? i hope not

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? uh sure

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? yes?

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? YES

25: In the past week, have you cried? haha yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? blue w yellow flowers

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? no

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? dont think so

29: Do you have a best friend? @katxedisons

31: Who was your last call/text message from? my dad lol

32: Are you mad at anyone? nah

35: How many more days until your birthday? 227 (thanks google)

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? there are literally 11 days left of summer and,,, no i dont have plans for any of them fuck off

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? no

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? noooooooooo

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? dont think so

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? um yes dont be a pedophile

42: Are you available? answered here

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings forsince high school ended? ....one

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would youget? nose i guess

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? idk i have no experience in this

46: Do you regret anything? every moment since birth

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? this question i mean

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? yes

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? LET’S NOT DISCUSS THAT

53: What was the last thing you ate? granola bar

54: Did you get any compliments today? yes

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? los angeles!!!

56: Do you own anything from other countries? um yeah the things i purchased in japan and australia and the things my friends have gifted me from??? too many places to list

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? california

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? like i personally drove or was just in a car and also what is “long” and okay basically no i dont go on long drives anyway so

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? what do u think

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? no

62: Who do you text the most? my dad probably,,, listen i dont text people

63: What was the last movie you saw? spiderman??

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend fromgoing back to their ex? my who

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? i was 12yo

67: Do you curse around your parents? no

68: Are you happy with where you live? ehhhhhhh no

69: Picture of yourself? why is this question 69 that makes it so sketchy and also no im too lazy to add a photo if you’ve read this far ur probs my friend and know anyway so

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe inopen-ended relationships? monogamy

71: Have you ever been dumped? that would require a gf

75: What part of a person’s body do you find mostattractive? idk their face??

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night beforeyou went to bed? my god dont make me check timestamps i think @katxedisons

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesysmile to your face? CUTE GIRLS

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a childalready? i mean i wouldnt count it against them

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed toyou? not like,, directly

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? like,,, do i tell the crush or do i tell my friends about the crush altho tbh neither

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? who says sweetie

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? prom

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? n oooo oo

86: How can I win your heart? be a cute girl tbh

87: What is your astrological sign? taurus

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? still watching scandal i think

89: Do you cook? i bake

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flameafter a time of more than 3 months of no communication? no

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in arelationship? YEAH

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you prettymuch fall into monogamous relationships quickly? latter

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potentialinterest? not that i have a type but,,, long dark hair is a good bonus (also if ur??? amy santiago)

94: Name four things that you wish you had! a girlfriend, a corgi, $1 million, and dammit thats all i can come up with thats the dream tbh

95: Are you a player? no

97: Are you a tease? no

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? not yet

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? ehhh no

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? i mean??? i dont see why not

101: Hugs or Kisses? ngl i’d like to kiss a cute girl

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? i mean i havent yet so

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? gross

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? YES

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/shewas in relationship, would you go for it? NAH

106: Do you flirt a lot? ahaha i mean sometimes

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? amy santiago

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? IF U KNOW PLS TELL ME

112: Does someone like you currently? sounds fake

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? yes

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or justflings? former

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? i mean im rly happy with either

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Justwrite it. dammit emmeline u had one job

#i just deleted all the kissing questions #SPOILER ALERT ive never kissed anyone #santiagostyle #asked #emmaeline #look u have ur own tag now

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moonprizmz · 7 years ago

Text

Stolen from @ambulantics <3 (she said to do them in her tags, but also these are fun and I do what I want)

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

My emotions have been all over the place lately and I have to start applying for classes soon and have no clue which ones to pick and AHHHHHHHHH

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Nopw

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

Not really, just don’t do it around me please.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Sorta, depends

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Watching anime (NGE specifically)

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Pird most likely

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

I honestly don’t know. I’d probably be devastated though

8: Are you close with your dad?

Yeah sorta, but I don’t get to see him as much as I would like for reasons

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

10: What are you listening to?

Lion Heart - SNSD

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Chai Tea Lattes!!!!

12: Do you like hickeys?

Never had one but the idea is kinda hot

13: What time do you go to bed?

between 3-6am (it’s summer vacation here and I don’t go out ever)

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Not really

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Probably not

16: Do you always answer your texts?

Generally yeah

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Texting her right now but in person/over the phone, I think last week

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

Yeah

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I need to stop sleeping at 6 am

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

Yeah

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Yeah

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

Yeah

25: In the past week, have you cried?

lololololol yup

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Gray

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Maybe

29: Do you have a best friend?

Yeeeee

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Yeah

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

My mom/Pird

32: Are you mad at anyone?

Kinda?

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

If a month older counts then yeah sure

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

35: How many more days until your birthday?

I don’t feel like doing the math but my bday is in Feb.

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

Maybe Little Tokyo/626 Night Market with fam, but other than that no. Oh and finally taking my fucking driving test (and hopefully passing first try)

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Yeah

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Yeah

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

I don’t think so, at least not the big ones

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yeah

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

If you’re underage and even barely legal, yes, otherwise no just proceed with caution

42: Are you available?

Emotionally, no

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

One

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Naval

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

It’d be nice

46: Do you regret anything?

Yeeee

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

School and people

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

It feels like it

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Because it wouldn’t be right

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yeah

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Not right now

53: What was the last thing you ate?

Pasta salad

54: Did you get any compliments today?

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Probably Philippines

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Yeeee (still crying from all the money spent in Japan)

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Uh I think it’s pretty even

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

SoCal

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Last weekend I think? (I actually drove for like 2 hrs not straight, but still I drove)

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

No (but like I always wanted to secretly, but only amongst close/trusted friends)

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

Yeah

62: Who do you text the most?

PIRD

63: What was the last movie you saw?

Wonder Woman

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

I’m single

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

0 (not counting the “middle school bf” I had at the time, that wasn’t a real relationship)

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

67: Do you curse around your parents?

68: Are you happy with where you live?

Not really

69: Picture of yourself?

I posted prom pics of me last year you are welcome to look for

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Monogamy, I personally don’t think I could be in an open relationship

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Yeah I guess? But it was more along the lines of talking it out and then ending

72: What do you most like about making out?

Being physically close and intimate with a person I’m connected too

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Once? In middle school but it was more the guy caught me by surprise and tried to eat my face for 5 secs before I pulled away all grossed out

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

The other

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Hair and if they have more toned arms

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

Pird

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

Never had sex

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

See above

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Kpop idols when they’re trying their best to speak English/the language of the country they’re performing in that isn’t their own

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

Not at the moment since I’m still pretty young, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it when I’m older

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yeah

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Not really

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

Yeah

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Prom last year

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

86: How can I win your heart?

Be a generally good person that can make me laugh and I can chill with and has something they’re passionate about

87: What is your astrological sign?

Aquarius

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Anime

89: Do you cook?

lololololol (I could probably follow a fairly easy recipe though)

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Kinda

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Not super experienced, but I think I’m too awkward/uncomfortable with dating around so probably monogamy

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

I’m not really super specific or picky, but taller than me (doesn’t have to be by a lot) and maybe have nice hair

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

MONEY, a driver’s license, more freedom/independence, a clear purpose in life (whoops, got too deep?)

95: Are you a player?

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Yeah

97: Are you a tease?

I guess?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

Yeah

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Idk

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Both

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Yes

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Hair

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yeah

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

106: Do you flirt a lot?

Not really? I don’t think so?

107: Your last kiss?

2 months ago

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

Won’t say

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

Nope

112: Does someone like you currently?

Probably not

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

It’s confusing

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious relationship (never had a fling, but I’m pretty sure it’s not for me)

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

No? (it was an ambiguous time)

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

I think in a relationship, but I’m trying really hard to learn to be happy with just me

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

Would you like to be able to actually start/finish all these art projects you said you would do and have them turn out actually nice? Heck yesssss

#asks #answered #even though no one asked in the first place #i do what i want

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donaldresslerfanfic · 8 years ago

Text

A ‘problem’

Rating: M

Warnings: Strong Language (little bit)

Word Count: 2067

Donald Ressler X OC Maggie Waters.

Chapter: Seventeen.

Chapter Index

Story on Wattpad

Ressler.

Things seemed to have fallen back into place.

Like Maggie had said, it had been hard. Walking through town in the same places we had visited, seeing the restaurant we usually ate in. When I occasionally wore a sweater and it was the one she had given me for my birthday, or just for the hell of it. It was like when we split up, except it was worse, because I knew she wasn’t out there moving on with her life. She was six feet into the ground.

Work did the trick,it was a name after the other, Liz was still dealing with her husband, she wanted to know the whole truth.

Maggie… Well, Maggie was just Maggie. Things between us had gone back to how they were, we usually hung out at the café, Fridays were a thing again. Dinner back at her place or mine, catching up with her work or mine. Talk and talk. The little times I had to get something about Audrey off my chest she was there to listen attentively. I was also there when she expressed her concerns about Red. Something had him uncomfortable, and she was scared it all might have some repercussion on her.

She said she wanted a gun, and learn how to use it. And I agreed, she should have one at this point. But there was a nagging voice in the back of my head saying that if she got a gun it mean I wouldn’t be there to protect her if anything happen, and believe me, I had set it up in my mind that after everything she’s done for me, I will go out of my way to protect her. From anyone.

We hadn’t talked much or seen each other these last few days, so Friday night she invited me back to her place.

Although things seemed to had gone back to normal, I had a situation that was currently staring back at me from the palm of my hand. I didn’t have enough pills to last me till my next prescription.

Yes, I had been taking one too many every time I had to take my usual dose. It was helping me with the leg pain and the pain I usually had after a day in the field, car crash, car flipping over, getting punched, running, falling, tackling down people. That is what I did on an everyday basis, so I needed the pills to numb me up a little.

I wasn’t taking them because of Audrey. I wasn’t.

But now, I was staring at both pills in my hand, the ones that I was going to take before I entered Maggie’s apartment complex. Only two for the next few hours until the pain is unbearable in the middle of the night and I have to take two more. The problem was that the bottle of pills was empty.

I quickly downed the two pills and put the bottle in my coat pocket. By the end of the night I have to get another prescription, somehow.

I thought about talking to some acquaintance that worked in a pharmacy and to tell her that I needed a refill. I could make something up.

While wracking my brain around my current situation I knocked on Maggie’s door, I was somehow already in front of it. She opened up with a smile and let me in.

“I’m making some beef stew, hope it’s good”

“It smells good” I said taking my jacket off. I dropped it in her couch and got ready a few glasses for us. My medication didn’t allow me to drink much, but it hadn’t been a problem so far, I usually had to work the very next day.

Maggie sat down at the kitchen island while I poured her some wine, it went well with this meal.

“I know you don’t usually hold much importance to dates but… I moved here a year ago two weeks ago, which roughly makes it one year since we met so” she motioned with her glass at me “cheers”

I smiled at her and softly tapped her glass with mine.

“To many more” I said while leading the glass to my mouth and taking a sip.

“You said it” she left the glass in the table and pulled out her phone from her back pocket “now, let me show you this real quick” she made a few movements in the phone and then turned it to me.

Maggie loved it when her sister sent her videos of their everyday life, this one was of her baby moving in her stomach, she was 6 or 7 months pregnant at this point.

I chuckled when I heard Ella asking her mother if the baby was trying to get out, the video cut out after her stomach stopped moving.

“I think that I forgot to mention but it’s Talia’s birthday next week”

“You mentioned it was soon”

“Well, I’m taking next Monday off. They’re having a little party at her house since it’s getting warmer and I can make it there and back on the same day”

“That’s nice”

She stood up to move the meat in the stove but she frowned at me and stopped

“Would you like to come?” I looked up at her, I don’t know if she was frownig because I had somehow implied I wanted to go or she was frowning for something else. “I mean it’s OK you don’t have any obligation it’s just that… You know them, kind of… And i though it would be good to go out, you’re working too much”

I nodded thoughtfully, she was right, and I’ve been wanting to go out for a while now, not just out the city but out of town.

“Another trip down to that park we went with Gina would be cool too” I commented, she smiled at me and nodded

“That can be arranged, now that the weather is better” she looked up to look for the plates and napkins on the high cabinet.

I don’t know how long ago I started to check Maggie’s movements, how she walked, how she stood, her little hand movements when she talked, lip bites, grimaces, eyebrow twitches. But I had, I was looking at her a lot lately, which is why I noticed an extra movement when she pulled the plates down.

“Has your arm been hurting?” I stod up and walked to her.

“Yeah. A little.” She rotated her shoulder “I stopped taking the pain killers they gave me, it was giving me constipation. But I guess that’s TMI for you” she finished with a smile and put the plates down.

I stopped listening after the words ‘pain killers’, if Maggie had pain killers I had to have them, she said she isn’t taking them anymore so she doesn’t need them, I do, until my next prescription.

“I’ll go wash my hands to eat” she motioned at me to the bathroom while turning her attention to the food.

I made a quick dash to the bathroom in her room and locked the door behind me.

I turned on the tap and me it flow while I looked inside her medicine cabinet. Dental floss, toothbrush and toothpaste, birth control pills? Ibuprofen, hand cream, prescription pain killers, yes!.

I checked the label and it was in fact oxycodone. I was very grateful to god right now.

I saw a pill holder with the days marked, I opened it to find she hasn’t been taking the pain killers, they were still there, but the birth control pills were only on Saturday and Sunday, tomorrow and the day after.

I then checked the inside of the bottle and I dropped the pills in my hand. 12, that wasn’t going to last me a week, let alone till my next prescription.

All the while I was taking the pills and putting them in my empty bottle I couldn’t shake up the voice in my head.

I was stealing pills from my best friend.

Pills that I was very sure they weren’t going to last me a week, my next check in and prescription were next month. I had somehow taken a month’s dose in one week.

But also, Maggie wasn’t using them, she wouldn’t notice the difference, and I was planning on showing up on the week to replace the pills when I got my own.

“Don?” I heard her voice calling me from the bedroom.

“Be right out” I called back, I hurriedly put everything back in it’s place, or what I hoped was it’s place, then quickly washed my hands.

“The hell were you doing? We’re eating not going to perform surgery” she joked as soon as she saw me walk our of the bedroom.

“There’s a lot of bacteria in bathrooms” I excused, she gave me a 'really?’ Look and presented me with a plate filled with the stew.

We ate while the TV made some background noise, we had busied ourselves with whatever local news had came out and some pop culture reference Maggie threw at me, I had been seeing some movies here and there.

“I think I would like to visit your family” I said taking her empty plate to the sink, she’d cooked, I had to clean.

“That’s awesome!” She proclaimed probably a bit relieved that I hadn’t made the subject awkward, it’s not like we’re dating or anything. Though on another note if we were dating that would be easily explainable to Maddie and her family.

Again I was asking myself how things would be if I was dating Mags. I was thinking about it an awful lot for someone who had just lost a life partner less than two months ago.

“Thinking about her?”

She leaned her cheek in my shoulder while I pulled up my sleeves to clean the dishes.

“Yeah, nothing sad though. It just feels weird to move on as if nothing had happened”

“You can tell me, I basically moved states as if nothing had happened. I know it feels weir but it’s OK to want to move on. Wouldn’t do her much good knowing you’re sulking and coming apart”

I nodded, thoughtful, Maggie moved her cheek from my shoulder and walked back to the island, she sat with a grunt the sighed.

“I’m going to send a quick text to my sister then”

“How about we wait until I get confirmation from HR”

“It’s not like they can say no” she said mockingly “you should get five days off for every concussion you get”

“It’s actually two days” I corrected.

“Then you must have like 46 free days pilling up, take one”

“There are 32, and we’re a limited task force. Even when Meera’s kids had gotten sick she hasn’t been allowed to leave. The task force comes first, second and third.” I finished washing the plates and cleaned my hands with a napkin while turning to Maggie

“Can I ask you something, not intending to be offensive or intruding?”

“You’re my best friend Mags, there’s nothing offensive of intruding between us”

I sat down next to her and she put her hand on top of my forearm.

“Have you been seeing a psychologist?” She asked me worried.

“I had one visit with the shrink and the office, but I don’t need a full treatment”

“OK” she said and nodded

“Have you?” She nodded again and moved in her seat a bit uncomfortable.

“I have, Raymond has her on call and she understands the risk his workers go through, so I’ve been seeing her, a lot after I got shot. I know I said it was nothing and it felt like nothing but… It took a tool on me after it finally clicked that someone was trying to actually kill me”

She looked away, her eyes watered. I leaned in and rubbed my hand on her back while the other one held her by the arm, trying to comfort her. I wasn’t the best there was but Maggie felt very vulnerable right now. Who knows what she sees when she’s out there working for Raymond?. Who knows what she isn’t telling me?

“You can get out of this deal anytime you want Mags.”

“I can’t” she whispered “what if he decides to skip and you have to go after him?”

“Forget about me, and the task force, if you can’t do it anymore leave it”

She gave me a little said smile, I rubbed her back again and I pulled her to me to hug her.

I was enjoying a little too much hugging Maggie, her hair always smelled nice and the heat of her body seeped away from her clothes and onto my own body. I gave her another pat in the shoulder and looked to my coat.

“Here, I’ll teach you something”

She moved away from me and I stood up, retrieved my gun from the holster and unloaded it.

She had walked to me and I moved her to near the couch for us to have more space.

“I’ll teach you some basic disarming technics.” I handed her to gun and she hesitantly took it.

“Its heavy” she said while weighing it in her hand. I moved her hand up for her to point at my chest.

“Don’t put your finger on the trigger” she took it out and took a deep breath “otherwise when I do the move I might break it” she gave me a funny look and that made her relax. “When your attacker points at you the first thing you have to do is move your body out of the way before reaching out to take the gun.”

I moved out of the way and my arm caught her forearm, I pulled her to me while I spined and trapped the arm that held the gun between my other arm and my torso, my back to her, the gun slipped from her hand easily when I grabbed it.

When I turned to her again she gave me a wide eyed look

“That was awesome” she said with excitement of her voice, I smiled and pointed the gun at her.

“Now, yo-” before I could finish the phrase she replicated the move on me, but of course I put some resistance when she went to take the gun from my hand. We were side to side with both our hands in the gun “now, it’s not going to be that easy. Now it’s a fight, we both have control on the gun, and the attacker isn’t going to give it to you, you have to do whatever you have to to unbalance the attacker, stomp his feet, the elbow is one of the strongest parts of the body” I took her by the wrist and made her push and bent backwards her elbow to my face, being careful it didn’t actually hit me. “After you unbalance me you can take the gun with your hand” I held her hand in mine and covered the barrel off the gun with her fingers “now you can twists the gun the other way and finally take it”

By the end of the movement she had the gun in her hand with a big smile.

“Again, but I’ll do it for real” she handed me the gun

“I’ll fight for it” I assured also with a little smirk.

She was a fast learner, she asked me if she could add a headbutt or whatever movement and we practiced several take downs, from the side, from the back or directly in the face. I resulted in Maggie taking me down after two or three tries.

It was another two hours of just her and me struggling to get the gun along with some laughs. Now she felt confident, and that was important.

I ended up leaving her house at almost two o clock in the morning.

By the time I got into my car the pain in my body returned, I fished the bottle from my pocket and downed two more pills without thinking about it.

I had to get another prescription, the pain was going to be bad to make me down this bottle in three days.

#donald ressler #donald ressler fanfic #the blacklist fanfic #the blacklist #diego klattenhoff #donald ressler x oc

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tottology · 8 years ago

Text

My Kind of Crazy Weekend... a 200km Bicycle ride!

Adventures are addictive!

Especially those where you have faith in your abilities, there is a kick in your mind to try new things, and a little bit of support and encouragement by 1-2 people!

….. and in some cases, you are not trained for it, have any past experience or knowledge… you wish to attempt the adventure…..which, by definition, comes under “Crazy”.

So here is my experience of Crazy.

I have been running at 5-10K events since March 2015. After a year of running, I trained for 21km (half marathon) for 3 months and attempted one on June 18th, and completed in 2:35 mins.

Since then have done 12 half marathons in 8 months across Cherrapunji, Hyderabad, Chennai, Bombay, Mysore, Auroville (Pondicherry), and six in Bangalore.

In Feb, was following the Indian athletes completing the Ultraman – 10km swim, 420km cycling and 84km running in 36 hrs.. was inspired to the sky at atleast attempt a basic triathlon in a year or two.

On 15th March, I completed 31years, and was wondering what new to be done this year. Last year was the year of half marathons. This year should be different. Did some research and saw some friends doing some fancy stuff on cycles called brevets and randonneuring, etc. asked a friend what’s it – he said its cycling 200-300-400-600-1200kms within a cut-off time! I felt these people are crazy.

Three days later, Asutosh (a cyclist + runner + friend) had put up some post and I asked him, can you explain what a brevet is? Instead of explaining. he said let’s do a 200 brevet, happening next week.

I was like – are you mad? I haven’t cycled more than 39kms, and that was in August 2016. He said, dude you can do half marathons so this should be easy! And that’s when I got my Crazy.

Started searching bike rentals in Bangalore. Went to stores like Procycle, Giant Starken, RR cycles, Shah Cycles, etc Procycle had a weekend ride of 30 kms at very easy pace. So did that on one of the weekends just to get the body used to it.

Finally Registered for Audax India – Bangalore Randonneurs Brevet. Midnight Mandya 200. A ride from Bangalore to Mandya and back – to be completed in 13.5hrs (inclusive of dinner, rest, etc)

The whole week tried to squeeze out time from work to see cycles, buy gear and read about it.

Finally rented a beautiful bicycle – A Bianchi Via Nirone 7. Road Bike, from Italy. Beautiful, Sturdy, Friendly and built for Endurance. This was the first time I ever tried riding a road bike (it has a different geometry, smaller tyres, racing handlebar and gear system that usually recreational cyclists are not used to). For 2 days, did 10km each to get my body used to the angle and seating.

Finally the Big Day arrived!

Apart from the cycling gear like padded shorts, tee, helmet & gloves; wore a reflective jacket. Carried a bottle of water and a bottle of concentrated Gatorade + ice tea, dry fruits, chocolate bars, sugar candies, etc. also carried tool kit, puncture kit, 2 spare tubes, front and rear LED lights, mobile phone, charger and a powerbank.

I had booked an Uber to carry cycle to the start point, but it didn’t work out, so I had to ride 8kms. Took it easy, and reached the venue.

Assembled at Airlines Hotel at 4pm.

The inspiration and my guide for this brevet - Asutosh Bellur.

The event was scheduled between 6pm-730am. So to get a finishers medal, one has to reach by 730am.

Butterflies in the tummy. There were about 36 riders. 27 of them first timers. But everyone except me had done at least 100kms or were daily commuters. I was the only idiot out there.

So we got our registration cards for stamping at control points, briefing, had a sandwich, and filled water in the bottles before we started off.

And we started at 6.10 pm… with the countdown of 13.5hrs… and my target was to be back by 7.40am.

The average speed required – 15km/hr. and assuming we will have breaks for dinner, stretching, small bites, and at U-Turn point, the assumption was 12 hrs of riding and 1.5hrs break. So the avg riding speed required was 16.67km/hr for 12 hrs. quite a challenge, but had the target in mind all throughout the ride.

Flag OFF & Ride Begins:

0-20km a tiring ride through the city, full of pollution, buses, two wheelers and cars who don’t give a shit for cyclists. Took about 1 hr 15 mins to cross 20 kms. Already behind schedule. The groups were formed and lot of similar speed rider went together. I was almost in the end, thanks to no experience riding in such traffic and in the dark. But I tried.

21-40km was a transitioning time. From the city traffic to Bangalore- Mysore highway, the road quality changed, type of traffic changed. I followed the left lane and was comfortable at a speed of 20km/hr. at around the 35km mark, made a friend. Saurabh commutes on his bicycle to work. And this was his first attempt too. We decided to ride together and help if needed. 2 hr 10 mins done, 40 kms reached. 40km was my longest ride ever, surpassing the 39kms few months ago.

41-60km my neck and butt started to have some discomfort. The wind was cooler, the traffic faster, and body was hungry. So we decided to have dinner at about 930pm. We found another group waiting near Kamat Hotel and joined them. All of us had Jowar Roti Thali. Heavy dinner as 140more kms left. The service was super slow and we took a 50 min dinner break instead of 25 min as planned. Body was already tired because of the waiting, as it was losing the rhythm. Total time, 4hrs gone, 9.5 left.

61-80km was a good experience. We cruised through the road and managed a steady speed of 23km/hr. I was very positive about the brevet at this stage. But, but but…. at the end of 80kms, Saurabh got a mild cramp and we had to take a 10 min break.

81-100km mind games started. Both of us felt extremely tired and at one point, thought of completing 100kms and end it there. That thought was a mistake as the mind kept telling us how tired we are and even the last 8kms looked strenuous. We checked the map and finally reached the U-turn point. Body drained out, 5 hrs 45 mins passed and signs of cramps for me too. AT the u-turn point, got a good stretch by Jins, the organizer. Relaxed for 20 mins, ate biscuits and banana, drank half litre Gatorade, and some pep talks by fellow cyclists. 1am was the cut-off for U-turn and we saw some more cyclists complete this and all of us started out at 1.10am.

Till now, my 100kms took 7 hrs (including rest, dinner, breaks)

Now, the target was 100kms in 6hrs 30 mins. Required speed 15.3kms/hr. Energy levels – 30%, Enthusiasm – 75%, Conviction – 100%

101-120 km was full of minor tragedies. Saurabh’s pedal came off thrice, and to fix it we spent 35mins in total. Riding was normal but time was not a luxury we had. Roads were empty and winds were against us. He was losing hope and I was also confused on the way forward. Do I ride alone if he goes? Not sure. 20 kms took 95 mins.

121-140 km was a test for Saurabh. He was not able to ride. It was a hybrid cycle, with a bad pedal and his will power draining at each kilometer. We tried to push each other, but at 136km, we reached Ramanagara, and he quit. He said he will put his bicycle in a truck or a tempo and leave. Asked me to join too, but I was managing to ride, overcoming the mild cramp like feeling. “I cannot quit, I should not quit, I will not quit” was all I could think. 9 hours done, 4.5 to go. I started riding alone.

141-160km The Make or Break Stretch for me. At 146km I got cramp in my left thigh. I had given up… I called up Asutosh – he had reached home by now after completing his 200kms. I still had 54kms to go in 4 hrs. he said don’t quit. Just drink a lot of water, stretch out a lot and start. I said to myself – even if I don’t finish in the cut-off, its fine, but I gotta do 200kms! Was cursing Uber for not working out and making me ride 8kms extra in 35degrees at 330pm! Vented out, screamed and had a few tears, but I started.

Hooligans entered the scene and almost threw me off the road. 3 scooters and 8 guys, all drunk and shouting and singing in Kannada. I smiled and waved at them, and they left. Later I heard that these guys have irritated a lot of riders. Two girls had encountered these hooligans and had a fight on their ride.

I felt like hiring a tempo and going back home. This was not something I expected.

Changed gears to minimum and did my best to not strain the thighs. Negativity was building up.

In the midst of all this, a funny incident happened too. Saw a cat crossing the road and thought its probably a cheetah, and in panic, started riding at full speed. Brain, I tell you!

Finished 160km and felt good – 80% job done. Slept on the road for 10 mins, did some yoga asanas to relax my back and neck, ate dry fruits. I called up one of the organizers and said 40kms and 3 hrs, I don’t think I’ll be able to meet the cut-off. He said don’t worry, just finish it. He did some pep talk and got me in a good mood. He said quitting is not an option here, unless there is any medical emergency.

Took out time to click a pic!

161-180km The Trance Ride. The pep talk helped. The next 16kms were something else. I don’t know what happened, when and how, but managed 16kms at a steady pace, I don’t remember anything here. All I know is I was trying to tell myself I am not a quitter. Also, was thinking about how awesome it will be to put this up on Facebook and other social media and probably inspire at least one human being. 12.5 hrs done, 180kms. Now I had 1 hr, 20 km, Bangalore traffic, 900mtrs steep inclines and a body without any energy.

The final 20kms.

Every kilometre was a challenge. Incline roads, traffic started as it was 630am, lots of buses, and d-grade roads of Bangalore. The highway was over and I had 17more kms left, with 2 major flyovers and city traffic waiting.

I called up my wife and told her the status. She said she will join me at the end point. That was a great push. Toiled hard to cover each km. Then I saw the watch, and it was 7.40am and I still had 7kms left. I had missed the cut-off. I had a broken heart. But the will power didn’t leave me. I called up the organizers and told them I am 7kms away, they said come in, don’t worry.

Then I hit the flyover, a long one, and cruised on it. Last 3 kms left. Wife messaged that she is reaching in 15 mins. I gave myself a target of 15 mins for 3 kms. At that stage, the mind body soul was all working on one goal – 200kms. And then, after 14 hrs 12 minutes, I made it!

Yes, I completed a 203km ride in 14 hrs, 12 mins. Missed the cut-off by 42 mins, no medal, but the happiness it gave me was incomparable. Adding on to that the happiness on the face of my wife was something else, it made me forget all the pain and stress. This was the most unforgettable, probably the most physically and mentally draining adventure I had done. I felt like a winner.

The organizers had left by then, but they cross checked data, asked me to send a selfie from the end point, etc and have given my ride a Late Finish status. But yes, I finished 200kms!

And what a coincidence, my ride distance (including the 8km commute to the start point), was 211kms. Equalling 10 half marathons.

Ended the ride with lots of food, to replenish the 3000 kcals burnt during the ride. 1 dosa, 1 vada, 1 idly, 1 upma, 1 sheera, 1 watermelon juice and 1 mosambi juice! That was an achievement.

Long post, but yeah, it captures most of my experiences in this crazy adventure.

Bicycle: http://www.bianchiusa.com/archives/2012/road/coast-to-coast/via-nirone-7-2300/

Event details: http://www.audaxindia.org/event-e-934

Route map: https://www.strava.com/routes/3527529

Ride stats –

Endomondo: https://www.endomondo.com/users/16681001/workouts/893018682

Strava - https://www.strava.com/activities/914620091

#cycling #brevet #midnightbrevet #randonneur #Adventure #crazy #bianchi #asics

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stardcw-moved · 8 years ago

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tag dump

@euhtak n @krogan-tadpole tagged me in some stuff!!! i’m lazy so they’re all in one post lol

i’m tagging @euhtak @krogan-tadpole @sookiestjames @elosgf @xiadz @spookyplums @mirassugarbaby n i literally tag the same people every time so im also tagging whoever sees this!!! (u don’t have to do any of these or you can do whichever ones you want lol)

☆ name: samantha ☆ nickname: sam, samii, w/e w/e idc lol ☆ gender: female ☆ sexual orientation: (: ☆ hogwarts house: slytherin ☆ favorite color: green ☆ favorite animal: bears n foxes n stuff ☆ hours of sleep: like 2 that’s it 2 ☆ cat or dog person: both but i luv me cat ☆ favorite fictional character: sally owens from practical magic (also me countless video game lovers) ☆ number of blankets you sleep with: right now since it’s warm, only 3 ☆ dream trip: i wanna go to italy bc family but like... i wanna go everywhere ☆ dream job: translation/interpreter maybe ☆ when was your blog created: this blog was like half a year ago i think ☆ current number of followers: not all my mutuals followed me back on this one so like... 200 :( ☆ what made you create your blog: the first one was bc me friend had one and i was like omg i want one

1. are you named after someone? no :( i was told “u can be named after whoever u wanna be” so probably an old gf of me dad’s

2. when is the last time you cried? like literally yesterday

3. do you like your handwriting? ya!

4. what is your favorite lunch meat? chicken!!!!

5. do you have kids? just me CAT but she’s my friend

6. if you were another person, would you be friends with you? knowing what i know now.... n...o....

7. do you use sarcasm? only as a second language

8. do you still have your tonsils? ya!!! shoulda got them out bc they tried to kill me but i just got steroids to bring the swelling down

9. what is your favourite kind of cereal? anything pebbles!!! fruity n cocoa!!!

10. do you untie your shoes when you take them off? ya bc they all go up past my ankles lol

11. do you think you’re a strong person? well i can deadlift 85 so that’s kind of a big deal for my weak self

12. what is your favourite ice cream flavour? blitzburgh crunch!! but out of normal flavors, it’s mint lol

13. what is the first thing you notice about people? their height

14. red or pink? pink!!!!

15. what is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? my stomach lol, love me thighs tho

16. what colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? some flannel stuff that’s like red n black n grey and im only wearing socks

17. what was the last thing you ate? chicken from when i went out to eat w/ the dudes earlier

18. what are you listening to right now? some commercial about old ppl

19. if you were a crayon, what colour would you be? i took a quiz n it told me i’d be a green crayon but i wanna be coral red or peach ??

20. favorite smell? rain!!!!!

21. who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my mama!

22. favourite sport to watch? n...one.....

23. hair color? it’s all diff shades of brown n a lil bit of red lol

24. eye colour? i was about 2 start ranting about how everybody has brown eyes n some ppl lack melanin... but they blue/grey even tho my work bff thought they were green since we met

25. do you wear contacts? i wish bc glasses are a pain lol n also my prescription is whack bc i have anisometropic amblyopia so

26. favourite food to eat? chicken wings!!!

27. scary movies or comedy? probs commedy idk idk i like both even tho im easily spooked

28. last movie you watched? before i fall!!

29. what colour shirt are you wearing? it’s heather black or w/e

30. summer or winter? i luv winter bc i can’t do heat but since i started driving myself places i luv summer lol

31. hugs or kisses? probs kisses idk

32. what book are you currently reading? i started like 42 books my b

33. who do you miss right now? i’ve never met kim taehyung but i miss him

34. what is on your mouse pad? i don’t have a mouse pad lol im on a laptop

35. what is the last tv program you watched? the middle

36. what is the best sound? um shinee’s ring ding dong? gosh

37. rolling stones or the beatles? idk way back when it was the beatles lol

38. what is the farthest you’ve ever traveled? illinois i think bc i can’t remember if i’ve been to colorado or not

39. do you have a special talent? i can destroy all relationships of mine in 12 minutes :))) nah but i can do the ballet stances

40. where were you born? pennsylvania !

a. - age: 21 b. - biggest fear: spiders n the dark n Old Age :) c. - current time: 10:36pm d. - drink you last had: water e. - everyday starts with: playin on my phone for 2 hrs before i tell ppl im awak elol f. - favorite song: skin to skin by luhan! g. - ghosts, are they real: yES h. - hometown: somewhere in pennsylvania lol i. - in love with: well there’s me bf taehyung, me husband jjong, me sidepiece jjong, n miyavi... the one that got away.... j. - jealous of: me friends gf dsklfjslsfds k. - killed someone: u a cop? l. - last time you cried: yESTERDAY m. - middle name: marie! n. - number of siblings: 1.5 sibling o. - one wish: 2 have that cash money p. - person i last called/texted: called me mom, texted me boi q. - question you’re always asked: “what’s wrong?” r. - reason to smile: shinee s. - song last sang: freal luv by far east movement t. - time you woke up: 9:30am u. - underwear color: white v. - vacation destination: italy still but also like s korea w. - worst habit: overthinking n overreacting lol x. - x-rays you’ve had: my lungs in the 4th grade bc i had pneumonia y. - your favorite food: chicken wings z. - zodiac: cancer

rules: put your playlist on shuffle and write down the first ten songs then tag ten mutuals ✨

fake - maximum the hormone

one night - lil yachty

heart attack - exo

i get off - halestorm

rear view - zayn

too fast - royal pirates

anaconda - nicki minaj

schism - tool

lonesome rider - volbeat

spring day - bts

#txt #tagged

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ask-fairytail-bts · 8 years ago

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Get to know me tag

Tagged by: @ask-witch-jiminie was tagged on my personal blog, but I rather post it here lol 1. Are you named after someone? Nope. My dad just really liked my name. A professor told me its French lol 2. When is the last time you cried? Like three days ago I think 3. Do you like your handwriting? Well I'm very weird about it. Sometimes I like that it's small, and then sometimes I feel weird that's its small and sort of bubble-like 4. What is your favourite lunch meat? beef and chicken 5. Do you have kids? no… but I have a bestfriend who does? 6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah, I guess? I'm always told that I'm funny and sweet, and cool to be around so I would probably befriend myself... 7. Do you use sarcasm? Well it depends on how I use it lol but i guess I do sometimes 8. Do you still have your tonsils? is that a disease...jk lol yeah I have them lol 9. Would you bungee jump? Hell no! I'd get a heart attack before I had to jump off whatever platform I would be on 10. What’s your favourite cereal? I'm basic I guess. Frosted Flakes. 11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? wait...untying them is a thing? lol 12. Do you think you’re a strong person? physically just a little and emotionally I'd have to say I might be the weakest person ever. It's really hard for me 13. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? COOKIES & CREAM OR COOKIE DOUGH! 14. What’s the first thing you notice about people? their personality! 15. Red or pink? RED. It's my fave color. 16. What is your least favourite physical thing about yourself? My arms and my hands because they're tiny and when I put them in fists it looks like I have no knuckles 17. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing right now? im wearing my black adidas shorts and a black tank top 18. What was the last thing you ate? Ramen, cause that's a poor college student's go-to meal 19. What are you listening to right now? My roommates snoring and Not Today- BTS 20. If you were a crayon what colour would you be? a red crayon cause insfires...okay fine. I'd be the red one cause it's my fave color and because its the color of passion 21. Favourite smell? new building smell (dont know how to describe it) 22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom because she's in Mexico and she misses me ;( 23. Favourite sport to watch? SOCCERRRR! 24. Hair colour? a really dark brown with silverish blonde highlight 25. Eye colour? Brown 26. Do you wear contacts? I would never! I see people struggle with those too much so no thanks. I rather wear my glasses 27. Favourite food to eat? Sushi, fried rice, or fried shrimp 28. Scary movies or comedy? I'm a scaredy cat, but I love scary movies 29. Last movie you watched? El niño no tiene la culpa (or something like that something about the child not being at fault...its a good comedy lol) 30. What colour shirt are you wearing? Black 31. Summer or winter? Summer cause I'm a Texas gal so I'm used to the heat 32. Hugs or kisses? both cause I'm all for love and affection 33. What book are you currently reading? I haven't been reading anything I like since I have to read my class textbooks 34. Who do you miss right now? My family since I'm stuck in college and they're miles away from me ;n; 35. What is on your mouse pad? I'm on my phone 36. What is the last tv show you watched? How to get away with murder 37. What is the best sound? Soft whistling 38. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Neither...I'ts not my type of music 39. What is the furthest you’ve ever travelled? Mexico? I traveled 24 hrs unless you count 36 I travelled from Texas to Pennsylvania when I started college 40. Do you have a special talent? I guess I'm an average singer, I can make smoke in mouth without using anything, I can make strange whistling sounds and bird sounds 41.Where were you born? Houston, Texas (However, both of my parents are Mexican lol) I tag: @ask-seokjinnie @ask-vmin @ask-jungshook @ask-princess-jin @ask-namseok and anyone else who wants to do it?

#get to know me tag #get to know me #admin #know the admin

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years ago

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Walked Away from 1st ever Job, Want to work but I am Uncertain/Anxious about what to do and who to listen too. via /r/selfimprovement

Walked Away from 1st ever Job, Want to work but I am Uncertain/Anxious about what to do and who to listen too.

So this is me currently:

18 years old living with parents.

HS Diploma (Graduated last Month)

Have an Adult Drivers License and Car for commuting.

2500 in cash saved up. Money Received from family/relatives over the last decade + Money made from selling on ebay +

Doing Paid Surveys.

I was interested in someway of making money online instead of a job at 16. I even opened a Tax Exemption ID soon after I turned 18 in 2017 in hopes of starting an online ebay / amazon business. That failed since upfront investment was too much too handle and competition was fierce. There was almost zero room for entry. Other sellers had great prices and so much to offer, While I had nothing much. I was just a guy selling the same stuff that others had been doing since forever and were damn good at it.

Business/Entrepreneurship is off the table since I called my states Department of Revenue to notify I am permanently out of business and closed the tax ID I opened. Why? I kept getting notices in the mail titled Delinquent, saying I need to file business tax returns otherwise my ass was getting penalized.

I really regret not going for a part time job at 16 and just working my way up into something, but the past is the past.

Moving on to 2018, A few weeks ago (right after finishing High School) my mindset was find any job at any pay level, start somewhere and work your way up. This still is my mindset but...

I walked out on my very first job a few days ago. I didn't even tell anyone I was leaving or quitting. It was a rash choice that was just made. The next few lines are alot to read, sorry about that.

How I got this job I walked out on and what happened there:

I told my dad I applied to a job without telling him. I later learned applying there was useless since I applied too late, there open interviews took place in May and I applied in June. Whoops.

My dad was furious and told me that getting hired somewhere requires using people in the inside. He basically told me that you need someone to vouch for you, a reference from someone already working at the place you applied to. This is what my dad did to get my older sister a job after she finished college. This is obviously not entirely true, but my dad is just hard to talk too and doing something like this behind is back and not agreeing with him is like the same as murder.

After he cooled down he got in touch with some of his friends to get me a job at a manufacturing company. This company just opened a new plant and is hiring lots of people. My dad has lots of friends working for this company but at different plants. They are all making decent money and have been getting by. But some of them including my parents told me the reality of working in manufacturing. They told me its not for everyone and it is physical labor that requires endurance, patience, stamina and that it is tough stuff and should not be taken lightly at all, go to school or do something else. My parents have years of experience working in manufacturing and did not want me to go this route. They were super skeptical about this choice I made and were very worried about me. Despite all of that I shrugged it off and went to the office, applied and got an interview date. I did the interview and was given a tour of the plant.

I got asked some questions like where do you see yourself in 5 years? What comes first, safety, production or efficiency?

stuff like that.

A week later I get a phone call to do a drug test. I go to this place and get that done. And a few more days pass and another call comes in. This call is from HR about Orientation. I go to orientation and I am very nervous because I literally have zero employment history. Never worked before. Everyone there was well above my age and had experience. My voice is low when I get anxious and I just felt really panicky. The HR lady even called me out and said she shes me peeping and asked if I was okay. I said I am fine and we moved on. She was right though. I was quiet and really anxious about everything as we discussed OSHA safety and other procedures. I asked only a few questions. We all signed a lot of paperwork and just felt exhausted by the end. I was given A/B schedule and had work the next day. I also had a folder full of stuff and a badge and papers to take to work the next day. We were told to clock in before 6:55, thats when our pay started.

The rest of the day I am just thinking long and hard about this decision. The what if? anxiety was also present the whole day. I managed to fall asleep. I got up real early at 5:30. Hit the freeway and showed up in time. I keyed myself in using the badge I was given. Someone told me I should speak to the supervisor since I am new. I went to the supervisors office and was told to wait in the break room. A lady came to me and introduced me to the plant. She was very nice and courteous. Then she left me with one of the managers and I started working. We were making clorox toilet wands. I struggled for the first 5 minutes than figured out what I was doing. I than started working on one of the assembly lines which was easy. Than there was break and I sat and ate some food, And I probably sat for about 20-25 minutes. I asked someone when break ends and learned I should report back to work. I go back and I am doing something different. Packaging. I sucked at it and the lady who trained me got me doing something else. This was more manageable. But it hurt. Physically. The work was fast paced and my back was having it bad. My legs were too. I don't know exactly how long I did it but I am going to guess it was about 2 hours. This task involved standing forever and placing a clorox container in a package. It did it hundreds of times. Eventually we stopped for a break. There were three 20 min breaks. This job was a 12 hour job from 7 am to 7 pm. Pay was 12 per hour. As I worked I wondered hard that If I really wanted to do this long term. During the orientation we learned that promotions were available after 3 months and if you learned an apprenticeship you can make bank and have a career. This company was a solid company and good pay was there, but the job. The job was physical. As I watched other people do there jobs I had nothing but mad respect for the work they were putting in. When we stopped for that break I was just like "man, do I really want to do this for a living? I am not disrespecting the job or the people there but the work was physical. I only worked for like 2-3 hours and was aching pretty bad. I Even overhead some veteran employees in the break room say "Im Tired".

Another 8 more hours where left to go. We even had to stop the machine for a few minutes cause one of my finger nails started bleeding. I had to run and get a Band Aid and put on some gloves. I worked with those gloves on for some time and the second break came. I went to the bathroom and just wondered about leaving. And that is what I did. I got my lunch box, and walked out. A few people saw me. And I just got in my car, and drove away. I stopped at a local park, rolled my seat and windows down, and just sat there wondering wtf am I going to do with my life. Forget years. forget months. Where will I be with in the next 24 hours? These last couple months I have made so many rash choices. I don't have any ambitions, passions, or talents. I just want to make a living, enough to live and get by, But have no idea how to get there. I have no idea how to work my ass into the middle class.

Should I listen to myself?

My inner self says try out jobs in my area, find one that sticks, work my ass off and build experience. Then work your way up with the same company or different ones.

Or Should I listen to my parents?

Parents want me to go to the local community college. Or work part time and do college. College is totally required in there opinions.

College scares the hell out of me. Alot of people come out with debit, and unable to find jobs in there field. I know teachers, family friends, and countless other people who were not able to find a job with there degree and took on jobs in something else. College is also years of investing your time, I am not ready for that. I also slacked off real bad academically after my sophomore year. I left honors classes and took regular. Did not play sports or join any clubs. I wasted not only my time, But my school and teachers time.

I do not have a specific interest in any major or career. I feel I need to start at the very bottom of any job and work my way up in baby steps. But I am really anxious to apply to other jobs ever since I walked out of that job.

I still need to contact HR to tell them I left which I certainly will do.

With all that being said I realized I need to relax since I am okay. I have been doing chores, babysitting my nephew and helping my parents with things. I don't have kids, rent, debt collectors coming after me and other horrors people out in the world are facing. Even my parents are telling me its not the end of the world, but then My mother says all the time that you will by dreading your ass off in the future for not listening to them. That I will regret not getting a higher education. I respect the advice they give me, but at the end of the its up to me what I do and everything has been rash, unexpected, and just mentally stressful.

or am I eating my own words for not agreeing with them?

Freaking anxiety. It just floats in my head all day.

This is what I have in mind as of 7/8/2018

First thing I need to do is contact HR that I walked away from that job.

Then, I have been looking at other jobs in my area and have found some that are not as labor intensive. No worried about pay, just getting experience is most important.

I want to apply to them and push anxiety aside. One job is even taking open interviews.

Things I have learned and remind myself everyday despite Anxiety

We learn by doing.

Fear is a state of mind.

Your life could be way worse, be thankful for everything you have.

You cant change the past, but you can learn from it.

Dont Complain at all, do what needs to be done.

I am honestly wondering why I am making this. I have thought many times before to sit down and talk with someone or post on reddit about my personal problems. I have watched lots of Gary Vaynerchuck videos on Youtube as well. Gary says complaining and telling people my problems to people instead of doing something about it and listening to other people suppress you from what you feel you should do is wrong. This is very true, but I find myself stressing my self with anxiety more than ever. I really don't now what's going to happen to me. I am very afraid of failure. I don't want to fuck up. I want to make it out of low/ no income status. My mind gets to me all the time.

Any Advice is very much appreciated and I cant thank you enough for taking your own personal time to read this.

Submitted July 09, 2018 at 03:51AM by intertwinedthings via reddit https://ift.tt/2NBajZf

#IFTTT #reddit

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