#like. More often than i usually do to the point where i feel like it's overwhelming or annoying or looks desperate but hey maybe i am

[astrolook]

Sun in the houses:

Let's see what happens how sun behaves in all these houses, both positive and negative. Mind you that every planet in any house or sign can exhibit both positive and negative traits and can manifest in a person.

Sun in 1st House: I’m not saying I’m the center of the universe, but... I kinda am. 🌞🌍

You just get leadership. You don’t have to try; it’s in your blood. If afflicted, your leadership style might feel more like "dictatorship." You’re so sure of yourself that others don’t get a chance to voice their opinions.

Your positivity and belief in yourself make others think, “If they can do it, I can too!”. If Sun is afflicted, it can come off as "I'm better than you" rather than "I believe in myself."

You’re the life of the party! Your energy lifts the room and makes everyone feel involved. If afflicted, you might crave attention to the point where you overshadow others.

You set big goals, and you achieve them. There’s no stopping you once your mind is made up. If afflicted, friends and colleagues can feel like you’re so busy chasing success that you forget to check in on them.

Your dad probably instilled in you a sense of pride and self-worth that shaped who you are. If afflicted, your dad could be too demanding or proud of you, it can create some serious pressure. You might feel like you’re living for his approval rather than your own dreams, and that can lead to overcompensating or burning out.

Sun in the 2nd House: Money talks, but my self-worth yells! 💸🌟

You have a strong sense of self-worth, often tied to personal achievements. You know your value. If afflicted, You might tie your entire identity to material success, feeling inadequate or worthless without financial stability or possessions.

You are ambitious, striving to build financial security. Hard work often pays off. If afflicted, your financial instability may lead to insecurity or even an unhealthy obsession with money. You may be overly materialistic.

You’re usually careful with your resources but if afflicted, you could be prone to overspending or hoarding, unable to find a balanced approach to finances.

A father figure can be a source of inspiration and a role model in financial matters and work ethics. If afflicted, it could bring inheritance issues or you may feel that you never live up to his expectations.

Can exhibit workaholic tendencies, sacrificing personal happiness or family life for financial gain or status.

You have the potential to rise above financial challenges, but if afflicted, you could experience deep feelings of insecurity or even shame when you don't meet your own or others’ material expectations, possibly leading to cycles of self-doubt.

You might view love through the lens of material gestures or gifts, making it difficult to connect emotionally or romantically.

Sun in the 3rd House: Your ideas are shining bright, but good luck getting people to stop talking long enough to hear them!

You’re a natural communicator, your words carry weight. If afflicted, you might dominate conversations or struggle with listening, sometimes coming off as self-centered or dismissive of others' perspectives.

Close, possibly authoritative, relationship with siblings; they could be supportive, or you may take on a leadership role in your family. If afflicted, Conflicts with siblings or feeling misunderstood could arise, leading to tension and rivalry, sometimes even to the point of no contact.

Quick-witted and sharp but also can struggle with overthinking, becoming mentally scattered or overwhelmed by too many ideas at once.

You could excel as a teacher or mentor. If afflicted, a tendency to lecture or impose your ideas on others.

Enjoys frequent short trips. On the flip side, Travel may be more about running away from stress or distractions rather than meaningful exploration, leaving you feeling unsettled.

You naturally build connections with people in your immediate environment, making you very social and approachable. If afflicted, can come off as superficial or too eager to network.

You have a great sense of humor and can use wit to win people over in conversations. If afflicted, might use humor as a defense mechanism or to hide insecurities, sometimes crossing boundaries or coming across as insensitive.

Sun in the 4th House: Home is where your heart—and your ego—are, and good luck moving past your childhood room!

You deeply value your home and family, often finding identity in your roots and personal space. Sometimes, it can lead to clinging to the past or feeling stuck in old patterns.

Your self-esteem may become too tied to your home life, making you feel insecure or restless if things at home are unstable.

You may have a strong, nurturing relationship with your mother or a motherly figure, who plays a central role in your life. If afflicted, A dominant or overbearing mother could lead to conflicts or struggles with your own sense of self.

You have a deep appreciation for your heritage and traditions. If afflicted, You may be too focused on the past, unable to move forward or let go of old family patterns or unresolved issues.

You may find comfort and strength in your private life, but sometimes a strong need for privacy might lead to isolation or difficulty expressing yourself outside of your home or family setting.

Sun in the 5th House: You’re not just good at playing games—you’re good at being the star of them!

You have a strong need to express yourself creatively, often excelling in arts, hobbies, or self-expression. If afflicted, Can become too focused on being admired for your creativity, leading to vanity or insecurity when not recognized.

Life is a playground for you; you seek joy, excitement, and adventure in everything you do, but if afflicted, may seek too much pleasure, becoming careless or irresponsible, neglecting other important aspects of life.

You approach romance with confidence and passion but sometimes you might crave validation through romantic relationships, leading to drama or superficial connections.

If you become a parent, you’re likely to take pride in raising children and may have a natural ability to nurture and inspire them. If afflicted, can become overly focused on impressing your children or living through them, putting too much pressure on them or on yourself.

You are willing to take risks for excitement but on the flip side, A penchant for risk-taking could lead to reckless behavior or impulsive decisions, sometimes causing unnecessary harm to yourself or others and regrets.

Sun in the 6th House: You’re the go-to person for work, health, and making sure everything runs smoothly—unless you’re burnt out, of course!

You take pride in your work and have a strong sense of responsibility. You’re highly dedicated and reliable. If afflicted, it could be overburdening yourself with tasks and potentially leading to burnout.

You find fulfillment in helping others and often take on service-oriented roles where you can make a difference. Sometimes, you might feel taken for granted or unappreciated, especially if you put others' needs before your own, leading to frustration.

You are often very conscious of maintaining good health but sometimes you could become obsessed with health routines, leading to anxiety about perfection or overemphasis on minor health concerns.

You feel fulfilled by supporting or mentoring others, often excelling in roles that require service or care. You might struggle with self-worth if your efforts aren't appreciated or recognized, leading to resentment.

You possess strong mental and physical discipline and you may become overly critical of yourself or others if things don’t meet your high standards.

You’re excellent at identifying and solving problems but over-thinking or obsessing over problems can lead to anxiety or difficulty seeing the bigger picture, getting stuck in the minutiae.

Sun in the 7th House: You love being in the spotlight of relationships—just make sure you're not shining too brightly for your partner!

You thrive in close relationships and find your identity through your connections with others. If afflicted, you may become overly dependent on a partner for validation, losing sight of your individuality or putting too much pressure on the relationship.

You may take pride in your role as a partner or spouse and often invest deeply in committed relationships. If afflicted, You could place too much importance on marriage or partnerships, potentially attracting bad partners that are either possessive or just use you.

Your relationship with your father can have a significant impact on your views of partnerships. If your father was distant or authoritative, you may unconsciously seek partners who resemble him, leading to issues with power dynamics or unfulfilled needs.

You excel in negotiating and finding common ground in relationships but you may avoid confrontation or sacrifice your own needs to keep the peace, leading to resentment or unresolved issues.

Sun in the 8th House: You don’t just like to dive deep, you want to see what’s under the surface—and no, we’re not talking about the fridge!

You experience emotions deeply, with a strong ability to connect to others on an intimate level. beware, intense emotions can lead to emotional highs and lows, making it difficult to find balance or feel stable in your personal life.

You are fascinated by the unknown, with a natural curiosity about life’s deeper meanings, psychology, and even the occult. You may become obsessed with uncovering secrets, and sometimes, this can lead to unhealthy fixation or paranoia about what’s hidden.

You’re often able to emerge stronger from crises or difficult experiences but also you may become addicted to chaos or dramatic transformations, seeking out crises for the sense of power or transformation they bring.

You have an innate understanding of life's cyclical nature, and you often feel comfortable with the idea of death, allowing you to live more fully. This connection can turn into a preoccupation with mortality, possibly manifesting as anxiety or unhealthy fears surrounding death or loss.

If afflicted, a troubled relationship with your father, possibly marked by power struggles or emotional distance, could lead to unresolved issues or feelings of inadequacy that carry over into your relationships.

Sun in the 9th House: You're on a never-ending quest for truth, knowledge, and adventure—basically, a cosmic tourist with a PhD!

You are drawn to big ideas, philosophy, spirituality, and have a strong sense of purpose, often inspired by a higher calling or ideal. If the ideal is unattainable or unrealistic, you might feel disillusioned or disconnected from reality, leading to frustration or unrealistic expectations.

Travel, especially abroad, opens your mind and helps you grow as a person. If afflicted, leads to a feeling of being ungrounded or dissatisfied if you're unable to travel or explore as much as you’d like.

You might even study or work abroad. Your family could have mixed races.

You enjoy being a guide, especially when it comes to life’s big questions. If afflicted, can exhibit a tendency to be overly preachy or self-righteous could alienate others.

Sun in the 10th House: The spotlight is yours! You were born to be on stage—just don’t forget to thank your fans (or, you know, your boss)!

You’re highly motivated to achieve your professional goals and to be recognized for your efforts. If afflicted, you may become overly focused on career achievement, neglecting personal life or burning out from putting all your energy into work.

You care deeply about your reputation and public image, working hard to project a successful, competent, and reliable image. If afflicted, an excessive focus on public perception might lead to superficiality, a tendency to prioritize appearances over substance, or anxiety about how others view you.

Your career goals often play a significant role in shaping your sense of self. Achieving professional milestones boosts your confidence and sense of purpose. If your career is the only way you define yourself, failure or setbacks in your work life may cause a loss of self-worth or personal identity.

Your work is a vehicle for self-expression. You want your career to reflect your true talents and individuality. If your work doesn't align with your authentic self, you may feel you're not being true to who you are.

Your father may serve as a strong role model for career success, influencing your own professional aspirations and ambitions. If your relationship with your father was strained or critical, you may feel like you’re constantly trying to meet his expectations or prove yourself, which could cause you to chase success for the wrong reasons.

Sun in the 11th House: You’re the lonely butterfly with a mission— dreaming of changing the world one connection at a time!

You're that introvert in the extroverted setting. You could be surrounded by people all the time and still feel lonely. You prefer a one-to-one connection than a group setting.

You may become disillusioned or frustrated with the slow pace of change or people who don't share your level of commitment to causes, which could make you feel isolated or unsupported.

You likely to adopt kids or maybe you are the adopted kid. There is a possibility of having a step-father or divorced parent.

You're not one to conform easily and prefer to stay true to your unique self, even in social settings. Definitely, not a sheep.

You like to talk with strangers online and loves to spend time online. If afflicted, chronically online.

Sun in the 12th House: The spotlight is on you, but you’re hiding in the shadows—awkwardly shining in silence and doing some serious soul-searching!

You have a deep connection to your subconscious mind, offering insight into hidden aspects of yourself. This connection can bring about significant personal growth and spiritual awakening.

Could have had a relationship or a fling with a professor or teacher of some sort. Or was it just a crush?

You could shine by moving to other countries for studies or even work. You might feel like you don't belong here.

You could be working in a hospital, programmer, researcher, or just any "behind-the-scenes" jobs.

Have a tendency to avoid the spotlight. You might won't even show your face on social media.

Your father could be distant or could be that he is not there for you.

[scary-grace]

pretty please will you write [bouquet] but reader gives flowers to tomura <33333

Thank you for the prompt! This got angsty and I apologize. Hopefully I can redeem myself with the third prompt! Post-canon, 2.1k, angst.

memory garden

The bouquet you buy gets bigger every year.

You’re in the interminable line at the florist’s, you and a bunch of guys in business suits and wedding rings, identical guilty looks on their faces, and somehow your bouquet is the biggest one. Not for the first time since you picked it up, you wonder if you’ve overdone it. White roses. Red roses – deep red, not bright red. Periwinkle-blue buddleia, ferns, baby’s breath, and ivy. It’s a lot of flowers. A lot of money. And it’s not like the person they’re for is going to appreciate them.

But it’s one day a year. One bouquet, and it’s the only bouquet he’s going to get. You kiss your pastry budget goodbye for the next week and wait for your turn at the checkout counter, feeling like shit for even thinking of buying something smaller. So what if you’ve got the biggest bouquet in line? It’s worth it. You don’t need anybody else to understand, which is a good thing. You barely understand the impulse yourself.

The last few Valentine’s Days, it’s been bright and cold and sunny, a picturesque winter day. Today it’s raining, and you check the forecast on the train with increasing dismay. It’s going to be a swamp by the time you get there, and you’ll be going home cold and wet and muddy. You’re already tired. It was an awful week at work, but when isn’t it, really? You work in Homicide, and in spite of society’s supposed great leaps forward since the war ended, people are still in the business of killing each other. If you didn’t have your quirk, you’d work anywhere else.

But you do have your quirk – Red Cap, which gives you a heads-up and flashback every time you walk over a spot where someone died a violent death. Working Homicide really is the only job you’re good for, although in the aftermath of the war, you were embedded with the national coroner’s office, walking the battlefields to identify victims, perpetrators, and causes of death. It’s not what you want to do with your life, but it pays. Enough that you could probably stand to get more than one bouquet, one day a year. But there’s only one day of the year where you can buy a bunch of flowers without anybody asking why.

As you’re putting your phone away, one of your friends texts you about a last-minute blind date – some friend of her boyfriend’s whose date fell through, who’s going to be a total wet blanket and ruin their night if nobody distracts him. Will you go on a pity date with him? You’re not his type and he’s not yours, but all you have to do is keep him busy for a little while. With an offer like that, how can you refuse? You text back one-handed. Sorry. I have plans.

doing what?? I know you’re single

I have plans, you type again. Even if your plan was to get plastered and forget about tomorrow, you’re not going to go on a date where you’re so obviously the consolation prize. And you wouldn’t be that much of a prize, either – once people hear about your job, and your quirk, they’re usually not interested. Sorry. I hope you can work something out!

The exclamation point feels forced. You tuck your phone away and stare out the window at the rain, the bunch of flowers rustling in your shaky hands.

The view out the window reminds you just how much Japan has changed. It’s been almost eight years since the war, and everywhere that matters to anybody has been rebuilt, bigger and better than before. Every city’s skyline bristles with skyscrapers, every highway has wider lanes – and in between are places that aren’t important enough to merit a rebuild, places that have been patched back together haphazardly or been allowed to fall into disrepair. Bigger cities, empty villages. More pretty city parks, fewer nature reserves. And every so often you’ll look out the window and see a dark shadow across the landscape, a scar that will never heal. Or so they say. People say time heals everything, and sometimes, you almost believe them.

Once you reach your destination, you’ve still got a ways to go. This part is uncomfortable. It always is, not because the terrain once you’re off the main road is rough, but because everywhere you step is a place someone breathed their last. This is the final battlefield from the Villain War. You’d say the number of deaths that occurred here is countless, except you have counted. That’s how you know where to go.

The rain soaks through your clothes as you pick your way across the barren, muddy field. At one edge of it there’s a shrine to all the heroes who fell, not just here but in the entire war, and on important days, there are people queuing up to leave offerings and pay their respects. You keep walking, hating the way your feet squelch in the mud. The longer you stay in touch with a particular piece of earth, the more information you pick up about the death that occurred there, and you saw enough the first time.

The death site you’re looking for is at the far edge of the field, pushed up into the shadow of the mountain that rears up nearby. It’s unmarked, of course. It would be unattended even if it wasn’t. No one mourns the wicked, after all, and Shigaraki Tomura, the Symbol of Fear, was as wicked as they come. Or so they say.

When you found his death site, what you witnessed through your quirk brought you to your knees. That’s not how it usually goes for you, how it usually went by that point. Almost every person who dies is scared while it happens. A lot of them are confused. A lot of them are angry or hurt or betrayed. But none of them are all of those things at once, and empty and lost and hollow at the same time, and while you’ve walked over many death sites, Shigaraki’s is the only one that’s ever taken you down. And when you got back up, you couldn’t see him as the monster he was any longer.

You thought reading the book the surviving members of the League of Villains wrote would help clear your head, or at least remind you who you were really losing sleep over. When that didn’t work, you went to visit the book’s author in prison. Spinner wanted to talk about Shigaraki, his best friend and his only friend, but nothing he said matched what you saw. Deku, who killed Shigaraki, never talks about him at all, and you can’t explain to anyone that you’re haunted by the last moments of a villain who was horrifying and tragic in almost equal measures. So you had to find something else to do.

You reach the far side of the field and come to a stop. You moved a rock a few years ago to mark the death site, so you wouldn’t have to step on it and retraumatize yourself every year, and you stop a meter or so back from where you know the edge lies. And then, like always, you hit a wall. You could keep doing this for the rest of your life, and you’ll still never know the right thing to say as you set down the bouquet. The last few years, you’ve just set it down and left.

But that thought’s in your head again – one bouquet, one day of the year. He doesn’t have a shrine or a grave marker, and you’re the only one who knows exactly where he died. If you only got one visitor every year, you’d want them to say something. Anything.

Anything, from you, is usually a bad idea. “I’m still working at Homicide. The murder rate hasn’t dropped back to pre-war levels yet. I go walking over two or three crime scenes a week, and none of them have ever been as awful as what I felt when I walked over yours.”

So what, you can imagine him saying. You get to walk away. This was my whole life, and I died as I lived. Do you expect me to feel sorry for you or something? “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. That’s not why I’m saying that. I just – I wanted you to know that it really was that bad. All the pain you felt, all that anger – it’s unbearable. I can see why you’d do anything to get away.”

You wouldn’t do what Shigaraki did, you don’t think. Then again, you don’t have that kind of power. The only person you can torment with your quirk is yourself. “I don’t know why I come out here. Or why I bring flowers. You probably hated flowers,” you say. You can imagine his response to that, too: Yeah, no shit. “I never met you, but I can’t unsee what I saw. I wish I’d never seen it.”

You feel that way about everything you’ve seen and felt through your quirk, but this especially. “I wish I’d never seen it, but I did see it. And it would be wrong to look away.”

That was something you remember from that first flashback, the one that laid you out in the filth on the battlefield. The way the emptiness inside him yawned wide, a gaping void no amount of rage and destruction could fill, a desperate howl that still echoes through your mind –  look at me, notice me, save me – a cry for help that went forever unanswered. It’s too late for Shigaraki Tomura. Whatever you could possibly do rings hollow, and he’ll never see it, anyway. The longer you think about it, the more miserable you get. You need to go, before you spend another Valentine’s Day crying on the train home.

But to leave the bouquet by your makeshift marker, you have to cross the death site. As you hesitate, you hear that voice in your head, cobbled together from every newscast of the destruction of Jaku City or the final battle that took place here: This was my whole life. You get to walk away. You steep yourself and cross onto the death site, and like always, it hits you like a knockout punch. All you can do is stagger to the marker, set the bouquet in its mason jar down at the foot of the stone, and stagger back out, your eyes burning, struggling to breathe.

You’re doubled over, gasping for air, when you hear the voice. “I didn’t think you’d come this year.”

Your stomach lurches. You stagger backwards, foot-first into another deathsite, and struggle to get your balance, searching for a safe place to stand. “Because of the rain,” the voice continues, raspy and rough. His voice. “How long are you going to keep this up?”

You’ve always thought your quirk might snap your mind someday. You just didn’t expect it to happen like this. If you’re already crazy, you might as well answer him. “Until I stop seeing it.”

“Forever.”

It’s been eight years. Nothing else has clung to you like this. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Forever,” the voice repeats. “I never stopped seeing it, either.”

You’re talking to a dead person. A ghost. You’ve walked over hundreds of death sites, and you’ve never met a ghost before. But if anybody was going to become a ghost, it would be him, wouldn’t it? Unhappy, unable to let go, unmissed and unmourned by anyone but you, and you can barely be called a mourner when the most you do is show up with flowers one day a year. He probably hates flowers, and hates you, like he hated everything before. “I’m sorry,” you say. Shigaraki Tomura’s ghost makes a questioning sound. “I’m sorry no one saved you. I wish it wasn’t too late.”

You turn and leave without another look at the death site, and Shigaraki Tomura’s voice follows you. “Maybe it’s not.”

You’re losing it. You really must be. As soon as you get home, you’re taking a leave of absence from your horrible job and going to therapy, so you can learn how to live with your quirk and not let it cling to you and leave a bouquet at a supervillain’s death site without having a psychotic break. Maybe it’s not too late. What does that mean? It means you’re going crazy. That’s all this was. You walk stiff-legged across the battlefield, sicker with every step, never looking back. If you see his ghost hovering over the death site, you’re going to lose your mind for good.

Curiosity gets the better of you, though. You look back just once, once there are no more death sites to walk over and the only memories in your head belong to you. Shigaraki’s death site is easy to miss if you don’t know what to look for, but you know what to look for – and even from this distance, you can see that the bouquet you left for him is gone.

[finnlongman]

For this totally normal Friday could you possibly share some fun (or not so fun, whatever you want) figures in Irish Mythology/History whose experiences align/mimic those of modern day asexuals and aromantics? :D

This one is tricky, but possibly not for the reasons you might expect! For those who aren't aware, my PhD research focuses on friendship in the Ulster Cycle (particularly the later Ulster Cycle, so kind of post-12th century). This means I spend a lot of time thinking about how relationships are constructed in these texts and how people express affection, and the main thing I've noticed is that there's just... very little romance. It hardly ever comes up.

It's especially noticeable when you compare this material to chivalric romances being written at the same time -- your Arthurian tales for example -- where courtly love-service and other motifs are more prominent. The Irish simply don't go in for that. Even when people are married it's hardly mentioned, and even when they're having affairs and the text is focused on that, they don't emphasise the role of Feelings™ particularly. There are exceptions to this, but fewer of them than you might think; even the famously romantic stories tend to be... less romantic once you look closer at them.

I'm not entirely sure why, though I have a few theories (among them the effects of continued monastic/clerical authorship in periods when secular courtly authorship was more common in some other languages). You do get love poetry (non-narrative) in Irish in this period, just not much in the way of romantic prose (narrative), especially not when it comes to the Ulster Cycle. (And when people do get an attack of the feelings in the prose tales, they usually express those feelings in poetry. Prose is perhaps the wrong medium for falling in love. Most of the chivalric tales are in verse throughout, of course, so they don't have this problem. But Irish really goes in for prose as the medium for storytelling from a very early period, and even when they're translating tales from verse in other languages, often render them as prose.)

So, in many ways, it's hard to perceive characters who seem to have noticeably less interest in romance and/or sex than other characters, because desire is so rarely foregrounded in a recognisable manner. I'd say there's a bit more emphasis on sex, but very little on what we might call "romantic love". There's a lot to be said about how relationships and feelings are classified across this period that doesn't map onto our modern divisions, but even when comparing the literature with that being written at the same time and sometimes very nearby, it seems to be doing something slightly different. Maybe that's why I enjoy this material so much! 😂

Having said all that, Láeg is quite married to Cú Chulainn in a lot of ways, but other than that, I don't think he is ever hinted at having any kind of romantic or sexual entanglements with anybody at any point -- no casual flirting, no ill-timed affairs, no distractions. It could easily be used as a plot point to separate him from Cú Chulainn at a crucial moment but it simply never comes up. While this is quite likely just to be a class thing (we couldn't possibly acknowledge servants as having an inner life of their own), the way he judges Cú Chulainn for running off at the start of the Táin because he has a date very much gives Aroace Best Friend Is Judging Your Life Choices. Although possibly I'm projecting there 😅

Looking outside of Irish material, I have always read 'Guigemar' by Marie de France as resonating with demi experiences in particular. He is into one (1) person and one (1) person only, no matter how hard others try to make him behave in a more socially normative way. Bill Burgwinkle has some insightful remarks about queer approaches to this story in Sodomy, Masculinity and Law, but doesn't explore aro-/acespec readings; I think they would be very productive. When I wrote an essay on queer readings of Marie de France as an undergrad, that was one of the things I focused on.

[wisteria-lodge]

To clarify, I included other peoples’ perspectives because it felt more accurate than just sending you my thoughts about me.

Okay, that's fair. And also a very Bird secondary (or Bird secondary model, in your case) thing to so. Giving me more "objective" data.

I often think of myself as cold, awkward, and a mess but I’ve been informed repeatedly that’s not true.

I will agree that it doesn't seem true, going from the anecdotes you've shared about your life. I'm going to say that this particular string of adjectives points more to a Burnt secondary - you don't feel immoral, stressed, or lost (more the sign of a burnt primary.) All of is is language about how you doubt your ability to problem-solve and exist in the world.

This could be because I still feel corroded by the childhood trauma, like there’s something tainted in me. That’s why I’m so bad at self-care. I care for people that I value and cherish, but I’m not one of them (I’m working on it.)  

Good. I mean, Loyalist who kicks themself out of the group is a whole specific thing in this system. Very Tony Stark (Snake Lion.) I am still tentatively liking Badger secondary for you. I'm wondering if you might like my Sally (Nightmare Before Christmas) sorting. She's got a Badger secondary that's been sort of 'poisoned' by her particular situation, she's built a 'safer' Bird secondary to live in.

It's interesting that you read me as prioritizing groups because I don’t really think of relationships that way. I prefer seeing friends 1-1 or in small groups where everyone’s individually friends with each other (as seen in my perfect day). But even then, I view the friendships as separate, overlapping connections, not as a group I’m loyal to. I’ve had friend groups fall apart, but it was fine because I stayed friends with the couple people I was close to. It’s nice hanging out with a group in this new city, but I’m more focused on developing individual friendships with a handful of people. 

Oh that's very, very interesting. Because now you're sounding a lot more Snake, and I'm wondering if that's it - you're a very expansive Snake. I mean I just brought up Tony Stark, and that's his entire deal.

When I’m stuck about a decision and talking to friends, I go separately to different people. But I usually know what I want. I didn’t question the opportunity I moved for, for example. Years ago, I did something similar, moving across the country where I didn’t know anyone. Back then, I felt trapped and had the chance to work on a political cause I cared a lot about. It was a way to make a difference and do what felt right, but it also made me feel alive. 

And then you will just drop in something that feels very classic Lion: Political cause, going at it alone, 'felt right' 'I know what I want.'

I was vague about my people for length, but in the interest of details: I care deeply about many friends—and love my cat more than almost anything—but my most important people are my little sibling, a college friend, and 2 friends from my old city (3 out of the 4 are badger secondaries, the other is a bird.) I used to think my college friend was the closest one could get to the platonic ideal of a person, but thankfully I’ve grown out of putting people on pedestals.

Oh that's very, very young Snake.

I will say it sounds like you have an unusually large inner circle for a Snake... but the way you think about them, and feel about them - yeah it's Snake, not Badger. And you know, if a Snake primary's People are safe and doing well... they will often model one of the other primaries over the top. This definitely sounds like it could be the case with you and Lion.

I wasn’t doing it deliberately, but I did know I acted differently around my lion secondary ex! Their fun energy was one of the reasons I liked them. And I wouldn’t care if a friend applied for that workshop scholarship, even if wasn’t strictly speaking necessary.

Yeah, you're not a Badger primary. That mirroring still sounds pretty Badger secondary though.

I didn’t because applying would’ve said I needed it and that’s misrepresenting myself (No clue why that matters so much.) But morality can differ; everyone weighs choices against their own conscience.

Hmmm. Identity angst like "misrepresenting myself" does often go with Lion primaries. Lying isn't an issue (if you view it as purely a problem-solving thing, which it sounds like you do.) But presenting *yourself* falsely is annoying to an Internal primary, because your inner self is the truest 'true' there is.

Frankly, I’m jealous of my snake primary friend because she’s not as rigid or worried about these things. 

And now I'm thinking you might be a Snake primary yourself! It's absolutely a thing to be jealous of people who share your sorting, but generally only if you aren't able to express that sorting yourself. Like if you're Burnt, for instance. But... you don't really seem Burnt? You talk about friends, you talk about going to them with problems, you seem to have a large, intact circle, which I wouldn't expect from a Burnt Snake....

Except... maybe you're almost like, stealth Burnt. You do say things like "People can hurt you, or they can leave, or change. Or you could leave them, or hurt them, or make a bad decision on who to trust. It just seems so precarious and vulnerable" which is pure Burnt Snake. You also talk about running solo across the country to follow Idealistic causes, in a way that you don't consider to be 100% healthy ("I know it’s not healthy to be consumed by a Purpose but I want to be.") And I have SEEN Burnt Snakes do this. People aren't safe, so model Lion and lock onto a Cause. (Lions do the inverse: Causes aren't safe, so lock onto a Person.)

I’d never considered being a badger primary before. Community is important, it’s good to help people, I’d help a stranger or an acquaintance if I easily could— but I wouldn’t feel guilty saying no. When I no longer loved my ex, I stopped feeling like I had to help her. I was also younger then. These days, I have fairly good boundaries with people. Nonexistent boundaries at my old job, but that was also tied up in the political cause. I’m still recovering from the burnout; friends said for years that I should leave but I ignored them until I couldn’t. I’m not involved in the cause anymore, but now I can prioritize my art. Maybe I’ll go back eventually, but I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. 

Yeah, okay. I'm kinda liking Burnt Snake with a Lion model for you. (And your Snake Primary was at one point much more Burnt than it is now.) The Lion, the focus on political causes, it's a coping mechanism that turned unhealthy (which, sure, could point to a Badger on another person, but in that case I would expect more of a focus on either more on the organization, or the people they were helping. "Work until they get pissed about it" isn't really a Badger motto, it's a Lion motto.)

And not to get all 'tell me about your mother' - the inability to trust your family growing up, and the pressure to perform what sounds like a Badger secondary, it is going to make it harder to be vulnerable around the people you love, which is the Snake primary dream.

For my perfect day, I picked a prize because they’re more strategically useful: usually gives more money, can be included in bios, CVs, etc. Bread baking’s also more of an experiment for me than community. I love tweaking and inventing recipes. (My dad taught me how to bake; he can be a bit of a mad scientist with different types of flour.)

Aww yeah, and you're dad's a Bird secondary too. I see it. I enjoy the Bird secondary reasoning behind what sounds like a very cottage-core day.

Bread can also be unpredictable so it’s a little different every time! Cake, on the other hand, is challenging because all the planning is done in advance. It’s harder for me to make small adjustments (or be impulsive) on the fly. 

Little bit of Improvisation secondary energy getting in there? Interesting.

External validation/recognition is nice, but I don’t find it especially motivating. If I feel that I didn’t do a good job, other people liking it doesn’t really sway me.

Evidence of an internal primary (Lion or Snake.)

I’m more motivated by an internal drive, which, uh, hasn’t always worked out well. I did two theses as an undergrad: one for honors for one major, and another for my second major. Literally everyone in my life said I shouldn’t do the honors thesis, but I wanted to, so I did. That was one of the three big burnouts of my life, an ex had to give me an intervention—and if I went back in time, I’d do it again (but try to sleep/eat more).  I also don’t particularly yearn to trust everyone. I’m very private so that sounds uncomfortable. But I do want to be more vulnerable with people I love. I’m open to a point; I can keep even my very favorite people at an emotional arm’s length or isolate from them. Sometimes I think of love as deep water with seemingly no end. I’m working on being more vulnerable in therapy because it’s necessary for the intimacy I both crave and fear. 

Badger and Snake are such an interesting pair, because they are SO similar... but they're also flipped. Badger is External: they want their world to be safe, and to then to be a part of that world. Snake is Internal - they want to feel safe, they almost want to bring their chosen People into them, and make themselves a world that way.

Deep down, I’m still scared of the risk of fully trusting people. It feels like taking off armor and handing them a sharp knife. But that’s the work, to quote my therapist. (Romantic love is still entirely terrifying. I’ve only been in relationships that I knew would probably be temporary. Once, I realized I was falling in love with a close friend and completely panicked because there’s no way that could be casual.)  

This is the internal tragedy of the "fun" Snake character in a lot of media - flitting around, never settling down. Klaus Hargreeves gets into the pain of this, a bit.

Turning to my childhood, yes, I handled most of my problems and organized holidays, but I wasn’t an easy kid. (She loves me because I’m her child but has never really liked me. She tries at least.)

Just that matter-of-fact way you say that is so devastating. It sounds like you've processed it, at least.

I fought with my mom constantly. I’d find ways around my parents’ rules so I wasn’t technically breaking them—or figure out how to break them without getting caught. Concerning the party, I totally could’ve faked being social, that’s why my mom was frustrated. I just was bored and didn’t want to. 

Fighting with parents is just a human thing, but it's more common for someone with Lion in their sorting, either Primary or Secondary. Makes me think you built your fiery Lion primary coping mechanism pretty young, probably as a way to handle your family.

Is that a snake mask? I’m confused about the difference between badger and snake secondary shifting.  I bounce off energy/shift unconsciously because if I try it deliberately, I usually second guess myself, feel like I’m bad at it, then also feel guilty because it feels like the wrong way to do things. I worry I come across as fake, but I’m not. Even when it feels like I lose myself, reacting without thought, I’m still me. 

Okay, wow. If I had this bit all on it's own, I would 100% say that this is a description of Snake secondary shifting, and not Badger secondary mirroring. And I mean, we *know* that you were low-key required to do a Badger secondary thing by your family growing up. Does that mean the Badger is *also* a model, and underneath that is Snake? I mean if that's the case, no wonder you're confused about the difference.

The major difference between the two strategies is that Snakes are more conscious/deliberate about their switching. They will also switch multiple times during an interactions (Badgers usually don't, or at least they don't like to.) Snakes often have a 'face' that they wear for a specific person. Also, sadly, they are more likely to feel guilty about this way of doing things... especially if there's any Badger in their sorting or their environment. @air-in-words has written beautifully about the self-hating tendencies of Badger Snakes specifically.

These were the bits that really made me think Courtier Badger for you:

I can’t do it deliberately though, I overthink. It just…happens. Like I’m bad at flirting if I try but I’ve accidentally hit on people before. There’s been multiple times where I’ve had dinner with a friend and then realized it accidentally turned into a date. I do reflexively adjust to people’s energy around me. It isn’t conscious, but sometimes I shift too much and lose myself in it. I wasn’t doing it deliberately, but I did know I acted differently around my lion secondary ex!

Which is very, very Badger! But now I think I should have focused a little more on that "I overthink." Because that's Burnt secondary language, and specifically Burnt Snake language. You TRY to do it deliberately... but overthink.

Now that I think about it, deliberately shifting is easier around new people because I’m less worried. During that meeting, I was fully pretending I already knew the information. It was an external meeting so I didn’t know much about the person or company. I began by asking questions to learn more but also to stall while I was rapidly googling and putting pieces together with what I already knew. Thankfully this was on Zoom so I could get away with that. If it was in person, I probably still would’ve pretended but said something like “It’s been a bit, I’ll just double check if they updated their system.”

It was stressful but also exhilarating, reminding me of a game I played during a college seminar, where I would see how little of the reading I could do and still participate in class (most of the books were about like white men looking at trees, okay, it could only be so interesting.)

Oh that's EXTREMELY snake secondary. A Badger would not have fun doing that. And that's key, also. Using your secondary feels good, it feels powerful. It sounds like you've been living in your Prep-Work models kind of a lot recently. I'm not surprised they're a bit burnt out.

Describing this as a mask feels too distant from myself; it feels more like switching faces. However, I’ll also bounce off energy instinctively, without meaning to or a plan. 

... almost like you're improvising. This is definitely Snake language. I've definitely heard different Snakes use "mask" and "face." Badgers and Birds talk about their social shifting very differently.

I’m more comfortable being manipulative with language. I’ll make arguments that I know will appeal to the person, I’ll phrase things to match how they think. I’ll strategically leave things out.

Snake secondary.

I can be blunt, but usually only when I’m tired or around friends. 

Snake secondary going into Neutral.

I do over plan, but I also struggle with boring work or consistently working on a big project a little bit at a time. I thought badger secondaries valued diligence? I feel like I’m too restless. Could it be a model?

Again we've got some negative/self deprecating language attached to your prep-work secondaries. Badger secondaries get restless like anyone, but yes they do value diligence, and work for it's own sake. It takes a lot (too much probably) to get a Badger to cut corners, and that doesn't describe you.

The whole “learning how to be good at things, figuring out what situations need, and people liking me”— I do that because it works. It’s easily adaptable and a pleasant way to move through the world. But when I think about what I do for no gain but my own enjoyment, it’s like recreationally lying to Uber drivers. 

I've never heard a more Snake secondary thing in my life. Unless you count my Snake secondary mother, who likes to recreationally talk to MLM recruiters and pretend she's interested. Also that whole "I just do what works thing... you seem in a pretty good place with it right now, but that can be a huge sign of a Burnt secondary. When you're living in it, no type of problem solving is more fun or satisfying than any other. You just do whatever, until the thing gets done.

Anyways, I’m curious to see if this changes or reinforces any of your thoughts! Thank you for the time you’ve spent on my sorting and all your helpful writing on this system.  <3

You had a very interesting one. A lot of models. Here's what I think is going on with you in terms of the system:

You're a Double Snake, but growing up in an environment that wasn't especially conducive to a Double Snake. It didn't feel safe to trust people, and felt safer (and still satisfying) to trust causes instead. So you were a firey intense kid and you built a Lion primary model, and did that until it obviously wasn't working. You also have a snake secondary model, but are definitely conflicted about using it, and use it very sparingly if at all. You prefer to live in your Prepwork models (and you've got a lot of important Bird and Badger secondaries in their life, it is very common for Snakes to build models 'for' or at least inspired by the people around them.) The Badger seems... comfortable, and the Bird seems like a fun toy. However they both seem a little charred from overuse, at the present time.

I hope very much that you can find a way to relax back into both your Snake primary and your snake secondary a little more (without feeling guilty about it!) and not have to be putting in all this effort with the rest of your models all the time.

Thank you to R for such an excellent follow-up! If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

badger primary + badger secondary (slightly burnt-out bird secondary)

unBurning snake primary (lion model) + burnt snake secondary (badger model) (bird model)

 Hi, Wisteria! I’d love to get your perspective on my primary/secondary; it feels like I’ve been going in circles. This got so long omg, but hopefully it has everything you need. My guess would be that I’m a lion primary or snake primary (maybe burned?).

Interesting. Because Burned primaries... especially Burned internal primaries... often come across as an unhappy version of something else. Or else they think they're an *unsuccessful version* of something else. I'll keep an eye on that.

For secondary….not lion probably? I feel like I don’t really ~get~ lion secondaries, but they’re charmingly incomprehensible and have fun energy to bounce off of. This might be why I’ve dated multiple lion secondaries. An ex of mine once said that I was much more playful and sillier around them than with other people.

I'm wondering if you might be a Badger secondary. Courtier badgers can kind of unconsciously "bounce" off other people's energy like that, and the fact you didn't notice the change taking place, it had to be pointed out to you, makes me thinking that the shifting probably is unconscious.

I have a lot of Opinions about the proper/moral way to act in the world and they can be rigid (funny enough, lying isn’t on that list). I also tend to make most decisions into moral questions.

Oh that's some Bird primary energy right there. You're mentioning a list (even as a joke, even in passing) and you're talking about your Series of Opinions Which Answer Moral Questions, rather than "being passionate" or "being stubborn" or just listing me some of your positions... which would be the more Lion-flavored thing to do.

And not finding lying inherently morally objectionable - that's just a pretty standard utilitarian thing. I think that was John Stewart Mill's thing, it's only the purpose of the lie that's important.

Once I wanted to take a writing workshop that was kind of expensive. But I didn’t apply for one of the scholarships because I technically could afford the class, even though it was a stretch. Intellectually, I knew that it would’ve been fine but applying for the scholarship would’ve felt wrong.

Hm. The scholarship would have helped but it wasn't necessary... so you felt bad about taking away from someone who needed it more? That's sounding a bit like Badger primary need-basing to me. Badger? Badger-flavored Paragon Lion primary? I see what you're saying about Lion vs Bird though: intellectually knowing that something is probably fine, but not doing it because it just Feels Wrong is certainly Lion.

Things feeling “right” is so important to me. When I’m making a hard decision, I’ll make pro/con lists and talk it over with friends, but I’m always keeping an eye on my own gut feeling. It’s helpful when a friend suggests an option and my gut goes “NO”. Like, scratch that off the list! 

I mean, Birds *can* use their gut as decision-making factor. But because this anecdote is about problem solving strategies, it goes in the Secondary category. And this is pretty darn Badger secondary, using the group as such an important part of your problem solving strategy.

Normally I’d say something about wanting to try and make the world better but all I want to do right now is sit quietly and make art. That’s the burn out though.

That's a pretty idealist primary answer. But also... one you don't feel 100% great about, going by that caveat about "burn out." Starting to see why you think you might be specifically a Burnt Lion.

I’m usually fairly intense; a coworker once compared me to that army charging down the hill in the Narnia movie. 

That could honestly be any secondary, but what has me interested is that this is the second time you've used the words of someone outside of you (your ex, your coworker) to define yourself. Which is more of an external primary thing (Bird or Badger.)

(I framed it above as “making the world better” and that is something I really care about, but honestly, part of it is that I like winning.)

I mean, no one likes losing. And "making the world better"... like what person wouldn't say that? They'd all just have different ideas of what that meant.

Describing a fantasy feels overwhelming, my gut instinct is to say “feeling free” but that’s not concrete.

(correct :)

I guess my perfect day would be waking up early, getting lost in an art project for hours while bread bakes, going for a walk by the ocean, meeting up with friends for brunch, wandering around with them, getting the news that I won a prize for my art, having dinner with some other friends, and then going home to call a long-distance friend, read a book, and fall asleep cuddling my cat. 

Three separate outings with friends in one day! :D So what I'm getting from this is that community is really, REALLY important to you. Your perfect day involves meeting two groups of friends, catching up with a long distance friend (presumably someone who's harder to keep in touch with, so chatting with them is itself a bit of a fantasy in itself.) And then you win a prize, ie - you are recognized by the community for your art. Also fresh bread specifically is such a shareable baked good... and none of this is problem solving. I'm wondering if you might be a Badger primary, just going by how much community has been weighted in this ask so far.

One of my friends suggested that I might be a snake primary

And to keep count, this is the third time you are defining yourself with the words of someone in one of your communities.

because I value loyalty and friendship so highly. Most of my happiest moments, when I felt the safest, were being around close friends.

You use a lot of collective nouns, which is a trick I use to divide Snakes from Badgers (because of course, they're both Loyalists.) You've used the word "friends" five times. With Snakes I hear a lot more "my partner" "my sister" "my best friend."

I definitely rank people in my life, and I don’t feel bad about prioritizing my favorites over others.

Badgers do prioritize the people they like slightly more. Badgers are *people,* and people have preferences. But they are also very aware of who has the most *need.* Like that writing workshop scholarship: you didn't need it the most, and so you felt bad about taking it. I bet you would have felt equally bad if one of your friends who also didn't exactly need it applied.

However, I’m really, really bad at basic self-care (we’re talking “eating regular meals” and “getting enough sleep.”)

I mean, this can be evidence of all sorts of things I am not qualified to diagnose over the internet... but having trouble with self-care is something that Badgers historically struggle with. a lot.

(and something that Snakes, even Burned Snakes, don't really have a problem with.)

Also, I recently moved away from most of my friends for an incredible opportunity. I miss them, but I never seriously considered not going. 

I'm going to take a guess that this new opportunity involves a group of some kind. I mean, clearly you have a lot of different groups of friends, which is fantastic.

A different friend, who is a snake primary, pointed out that I always need some cause or project. I do tend to get caught up in things and vanish for a couple months but always reappear eventually.

That's interesting. Because so far, when you've talked about a cause or project, the the recognition/other people involved seems kind of key. You like "winning": It's "I won a prize for my art" not "I sold a piece." And that's amazing, that's a great way to keep up energy and motivation. It just means you've probably got an External primary. (Bird or Badger.)

I know it’s not healthy to be consumed by a Purpose but I want to be.

Going from the tone of this ask, you seem a very upbeat, lively, dynamic person. Except when you're talking about these Idealist causes. Then it goes from "my happiest moments, when I felt the safest, were being around close friends" to "I know I'll burn out" and "it's not healthy." Where is all that coming from?

It feels stabilizing, invigorating—and safer than centering people. I even get stressed about how much I love my cat. People can hurt you, or they can leave, or change. Or you could leave them, or hurt them, or make a bad decision on who to trust. It just seems so precarious and vulnerable. I’ve had a hard time my entire life opening up to people -

I'm just going to point out, that I've written a bunch of these, and objectively... it sure seems like you've opened up to a LOT of people during your life. Now, maybe that's not as many people as you would ideally like, but that's also kinda a Badger primary thing. In a perfect world, a Badger primary would like to be able trust everyone. But when doing that doesn't feel safe... then the Badger primary burns a little. And, Burned Loyalists have a way of looking like stressed-out Idealists. (the same way that Burned Idealists will look like stressed-out Loyalists.)

I'm honestly not getting much Burnt Badger energy from you though. Maybe like, a light toasting. On your bad days.

- or letting myself need them.

There we go. I mean partially, yes having trouble needing other people is a human thing. But Badgers primaries are so, so much happier being needed and useful themselves than the other way around. (It's why they tend to have boundary issues.)

I’ve cut friends out before and didn’t feel bad about it because they hurt people and didn’t take responsibility for their actions—

Sounds like they hurt the group? Which is a very Badger primary way of thinking about it, and a good example of Badger primary opt-out loyalty, versus Snape primary opt-in loyalty. A Badger will say 'I will care about you until you do xyz' while a Snake will say 'I won't care about you until you do xyz.'

but none of them were in my inner circle. On the other hand, I had a hard time setting up boundaries with an ex because I loved her and she needed help.

Boundary issues. Need-basing. (Badger)

(I used to wonder if she was a good person who sometimes did selfish things or a selfish person who was capable of great kindness. Eventually I decided the question was reductive and didn’t matter.)

I think you're right about that. I suspect we are all both, at different times.

My family is….complicated. I was the kid who had to be okay.

Ooof, I hear that.

Like, I started to organize the holiday cooking/baking schedules when I was a teenager. When I was a child, I went through some trauma that I kept hidden from everyone, including my parents, because, like, why would I tell an adult? What could they do? I was a mess, but learned how to seem like I was fine. I read my parents’ child psychology books so I could tell when they were using things from them on me. 

Yeah, this is brutal. It'd be brutal for anyone, but especially brutal for a Double Badger, which I suspect you are. You're describing a situation where, very young, your community just was not safe. It couldn't help you, or protect you, it was even trying to "trick" you (with child psychology methods.) And in that situation, what do you do? Well, you're a child so you go Invisible Badger, where your identity just /is/ whatever the group needs. And apparently... your family needed an easy kid who planned holiday get togethers.

My dad’s a double bird.

Maybe *that's* where some of your Birdy language is coming from.

My mom’s either a badger secondary or has a badger secondary model (maybe actor bird?). She has a very obvious Socializing Mode and it used to frustrate her that I didn’t follow suit. She once told me before a party “you’re charming when you want to be, so please want to” (the year before, I had brought my history textbook to this party so I could look studious and get out of talking to people). 

That is both very relatable, and has a number of potential causes. (I have a very hard time at a lot of holiday parties, I find them very overstimulating, and will absolutely find ways/excuses to tuck myself away for a little bit.)

Your mom strikes me as more an Actor Bird than a Courtier Badger. She just has this 'Social Mode' setting which she can just turn on, even if (presumably) she's not feeling it that day. And she thinks that you do too... but I think you might be wired differently. And that's the Courtier Badger thing: in the moment, you have to authentically /become/ the thing, or it doesn't work.

For years, I thought I was a bird secondary. I love systems, I love knowing things, I love having something in my back pocket. I even used to have a system to determine which color of heart emoji to text (it was based on the closeness of the friend and the level of affection expressed).

That's adorable. And honestly, very useful-sounding.

I find roles comforting. I used to do costuming for theater and I still pick out my own outfits like I’m dressing a character, paying attention to what mood/vibe it communicates.

All of that sounds extremely Bird secondary. I will say though... it sounds like you had to build a model to survive your childhood, you had to "learn how to seem like I was fine." Bird is the most common model to build (especially if your dad is right there as a model.)

The issue is I like roles until they feel restricting or boring or I’m annoyed and feel like causing problems on purpose. As a kid, I was fairly mischievous. I convinced this kid in my class that I had a treehouse in my backyard where two Dalmatians lived, just for the fun of it. 

That feeling of getting "stuck" in a role is absolutely something Actor Birds struggle with. This, and the example near the beginning about getting more Liony with your Lion friends, makes me think that what you really like is having the opportunity to bounce off other people's energy. I get that. It's what I'm doing right now.

Sometimes I find my plans and elaborate systems claustrophobic. I automatically reach for them when I’m feeling anxious, but do they actually help?

Sounds like your Bird model functions as coping mechanism. I mean it's also a toy that you like to play with, yes, with your costumes and your systems. But it doesn't sound like it's necessarily something that you want to live in.

But I don’t know how else to tackle problems.

I mean, I'm hearing that you like to reach out to your friends, and then have quiet periods where you just buckle up and do your own thing.

(I think that your Bird model is just a little bit... burnt out. You've been using it so much that it feels like a chore, and that's where a lot of this burnt secondary language is coming from.)

Still, planning can absolutely trip me up. Some of my most successful moments came from just reacting.

Courtier Badger (or Snake. And I guess a very social snake /is/ possible. But Snake secondaries, and especially Badger Snakes, have a way of being either a little more deliberate (or a little more *guilty*) when it comes their face-changing.)

I can’t do it deliberately though, I overthink. It just…happens. Like I’m bad at flirting if I try but I’ve accidentally hit on people before. There’s been multiple times where I’ve had dinner with a friend and then realized it accidentally turned into a date.

Yep. Relatable. Badger secondaries (and not just me) often talk about getting into a "flow" state where you're completely in tune with the other person, reflecting them or bouncing off them. Sometimes you're not even sure how you got to a certain place, and have to come back down.

Sometimes I’ll do things instinctively and then have to backtrack to explain my reasoning to others (when explaining how to filter information in a database, “vibes” is apparently an insufficient answer).

I feel the same way about editing. I *love* editing, and I am aware that at this point I edit based on "vibes." Like yes, I'm sure I could think about it and logically explain my choices, but that's not what the process in my head looks like.

If there’s nothing I can bounce off of or if I don’t know how to read a situation, I freeze up. 

This is why Badger is a Prep-Work secondary, even though Badger secondaries are not generally comforted by very elaborate plans the way that Birds are. You get better the more you know about a situation and the people who are involved with that situation.

I don’t think that I’m a badger secondary.

Interesting. :) Let's hear the reasoning.

I do work a lot, but it’s not in a consistent, methodical way. My phone lock screen used to say “Work until they get pissed about it.” Lately though, I’ve been wondering if this burn-out inducing work ethic actually leads to success. I’ve achieved things through sheer effort but

I'm wondering how much of this "methodical" work ethic is you over-using your Bird secondary a little bit. Too many charts, too much planning. I'm wondering if maybe your dad was like that... and maybe it worked for him, but it sounds like a chore for you.

it feels like I’ve gotten where I am more by learning how to be good at things, figuring out what situations need, and people liking me. 

That is a straightforward description of a Badger secondary. ESPECIALLY the 'figuring out what a situation needs' and 'people liking me.'

I do reflexively adjust to people’s energy around me. It isn’t conscious, but sometimes I shift too much and lose myself in it.

SO. BADGER. When I shift too much, I can have almost a slight hangover feeling afterwards.

Like, I’m so focused on the moment that I’m not thinking about a longer term strategy. 

Badger. (But you are prepping. Because you're learning.)

Shifting does feels like I’m fooling people a little. Improving my way through a meeting at work instead of being prepared ahead of time feels like I’m getting away with something or cheating.

Nope. That's the Bird secondary in your head talking.

Still, it comes in handy. I once was in a meeting about something I vaguely knew how to do, but it turned out that it was actually about this very technical aspect that I didn’t have experience in. So, as I was talking around the issue, I was googling and speed reading. 

See, this where I think Badgers actually do shine. Because yeah, you didn't know the specific topic. But you knew the other people there, you knew the company, you knew what was needed, and so I bet you were value added, even just keeping the energy up.

I really want to be this super organized, steady person but I’m just not. I’m mercurial, easily bored, and so restless.

It sounds like what works best for you is friends, and play, and that's something that can kind of go missing from your life. But you like you love your job, you're good at your job. And I think you need to give yourself (and your Bird secondary model) a break.

But I think I do need a routine? My old job was intense and I was constantly on call. Now I’m in a new job that is more predictable and has very flexible hours. I can go grocery shopping any day of the week and it’s overwhelming. I don’t know how to be structured without feeling stifled. 

Going from a job where you are constantly on call to one with flexible hours is just going to be an adjustment, no matter what. You've also just recently moved, and are presumably building up your community in this new place. I think you're going to be just fine. The fact that the job is predictable will help, the fact that you're working with other people will help.

Thank you for your time! Hope you have a good day!

You are very, very welcome. <3

Thank you to R for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.

[mcybree]

Ok ok ok I'm not Tryna start discourse but bluestars prophecy was my first ever warriors book and bluestar will always be my favourite so I'm gonna make some counterpoints to you about her being a Smajor character

bluestar has always been led by an intense loyalty and dedication to those she loves and cares for - this includes her mum, her sister, her clan, eventually Firepaw when he joins the clan, and she has a VERY strong moral compass when it comes to doing the right thing - when she sees thistleclaw teaching tigerpaw to hurt a then baby scourge she very much discourages it and is against it

Afaik scott is Not like that, he doesn't have an emotional or love-driven moral code, he does things because they're smart decisions in the long term or because he wants to. Granted I havent seen a ton of his stuff but I have seen his limited life and 3rd life perspectives and he is very much a singular team player there, there to look after himself and well if people align with him that's great he's got allies (jimmy and Martyn) but he won't go out of his way to care for them

Bluestars defiance of starclan in the first series is BECAUSE she gave herself to them and what the warrior code demanded so much - yes she broke clan rules by having kids with crookedstar but she did everything in her power to make sure they'd have a happy life and felt terrible that thrushpelt was willing to say they were his to save her reputation. She didn't do it out of a selfish want, she only ever wanted to help her clan and those she loved, and her becoming clan leader is emblematic of that want. When she rejects starclan so wholeheartedly in the first series it's because THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG WHEN SHES TRIED SO HARD TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT - starclan has never cared about the sacrifices she made to keep her loved ones and clan safe, she lost her mother, her sister, her kits, her mate, literally everything, and things STILL KEEP GETTING WORSE. it's not a demand that she deserves to have everything good, it's a cry for help that shouldn't something go right after she's tried so hard???

C!Scott isn't like that. He puts himself above others and inherently believes he will get the best if he just plays his cards right, and he is good at it, he's very competent at lasting a long time in life series and getting what he wants - the ruthlessness of gem driven by desperation kills him in secret life, Martyn's complete fucking about face kills him in limited life, and I'm pretty sure it's etho who gets him out in 3rd life by luck. He doesn't plan to look after the ones he cares about, because he cares about himself first and foremost. Yeah you can argue when he doesn't get what he wants he gets annoyed, but his is less of a 'why don't I get this don't I deserve it' and more of a 'oh fuck this didn't work. Ok new plan double down on getting what I want by appeasing to people cos they're easy to read and therefore account for'

I don't doubt Scott would make a bluestar adjacent character if he made a warrior cats oc BUT his character would honestly be closer to darktail or ashfur than bluestar and that's that on that.

(sorry you activated 13 year old me's unskippable cutscene sjdjsjsjja this isnt meant to be a serious argument I just love bluestar a lot and love talking about her)

OKAY 1. this is fucking awesome thank you 2. i am going to do something new and exciting (advocate for scott instead of beating him to death with sticks) because unfortunately this bluestar info has only made me believe she is a smajor character even more.

As a general note when I talk about smajor characters as a collective here I’m referring to characters more in the realm of esmp/traffic/rats/pirates/etc, less vampire scott or necromancer scott who are intended to be villainous.

Scott characters tend to operate under a “If I am not a Good Person I may as well die” rule, and consequently abide by a strict moral code to keep themselves feeling clean. For instance: traffic Scott will never go back on his word, he will avoid dishonesty, and he won’t take from others unless he is sure that he can repay them. He will never betray his seasonal primary ally (even when they betray him first), and will often give people things just because they asked him nicely. He stakes a lot of his own identity on this, because it is through being a “good person” that he justifies his superiority (and, by extension, his own existence); in his mind he deserves the best and *is* the best because he is such a good person. When things don’t go his way, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it because he has been nothing but good, so he tries to place a reason. He often assumes that somebody must “have a vendetta” against him, even if this somebody is the world (see: him asking if limlife episode 1 boogeyman is some kind of joke played on him for not giving in to the boogey curse in Last Life.) which is very Bluestar to me, convinced that her misfortunes are a divine punishment.

This is all to say that Scott does have a strict moral code and deep sense of loyalty. Being a “good person” and devoted partner in the ways he understands it are so ingrained into what he is that I think he definitely has the capacity to be a Bluestar if he were raised being taught clan values, even if his internal systems are often built around never letting gross emotions be fully felt rather than what those emotions compel him to do.

[smute]

90% of the time i hate my brain but occasionally it surprises me. a couple days ago i was trying to get through this journal article and it was a complete disaster. like i just kept getting distracted, i had to start every sentence over like 5 times and im sure it took me 2 hours to get through the whole thing. in the end i felt like i had retained absolutely nothing. anyway, fast forward to last night and im suddenly recalling things from that article? how does that make sense? like sure some texts you have to digest... but how did my brain do that without me noticing? its as if my subconscious just sat on these thoughts for days and now they're coming out. lmao

[outeremissary]

I may be late but I never forget. Two months ago @dmagedgoods tagged me to fill this template out and at last I finally have. I’m... not much of a digital artist, so I’ve tried to compensate how I could. Unfortunately, resolution issues may undermine my efforts. I did my best though!

Due to having been tagged on this two and a half months ago I will not even be making an attempt to send this anywhere.

[heybaetae]

.

[moreaujeans]

got my nails done for the first time btw i fear this will become an addiction

[bandtrees]

something i find really interesting about the tma fandom (genuinely) in terms of like fanon attitudes and character portrayals is how much you can tell most people binged it and at exactly what point they did

[lettersiarrange]

Since I just checked my ask box for the first time in a hot minute:

Just a note that tumblr doesn't tell me when I have new asks or messages and I rarely check my notifications. Helpful corrections of misinformation/any messages in good faith are appreciated (though it's possible I won't see them until weeks later, sorry), but if something I reblog angers you enough you feel the need to get hostile in my askbox on anon, I reccomend the unfollow button.

I'm also not comfortable posting asks asking for any sort of donations/directing people to your blog for donation purposes, sorry :// I just don't have time to vet asks like that

[hayatheauthor]

10 Flaws to Give Your Perfect Characters to Make Them Human

If you're tired of the usual vices like arrogance or impatience, here are some unique (or at least less basic) character flaws to give your perfect characters: 

Pathological Altruism

A character so obsessed with helping others that they end up doing more harm than good. Their inability to let others grow or face consequences creates tension.

2. Moral Narcissism

A character who sees themselves as morally superior to others, constantly justifying selfish or harmful actions because they believe they have the moral high ground.

3. Chronic Self-Sabotage

A character who intentionally undermines their own success, perhaps due to deep-seated feelings of unworthiness, pushing them into frustrating, cyclical failures.

4. Emotional Numbness

Rather than feeling too much, this character feels too little. Their lack of emotional response to critical moments creates isolation and makes it difficult for them to connect with others.

5. Fixation on Legacy

This character is obsessed with how they’ll be remembered after death, often sacrificing present relationships and happiness for a future that’s uncertain.

6. Fear of Irrelevance

A character-driven by the fear that they no longer matter, constantly seeking validation or pursuing extreme measures to stay important in their social or professional circles.

7. Addiction to Novelty

Someone who needs constant newness in their life, whether it’s experiences, relationships, or goals. They may abandon projects, people, or causes once the excitement fades, leaving destruction in their wake.

8. Compulsive Truth-Telling

A character who refuses to lie, even in situations where a lie or omission would be the kinder or more pragmatic choice. This flaw causes unnecessary conflict and social alienation.

9. Over-Identification with Others' Pain

Instead of empathy, this character feels others' pain too intensely, to the point that they can’t function properly in their own life. They’re paralyzed by the suffering of others and fail to act effectively.

10. Reluctant Power

A character who fears their own strength, talent, or influence and is constantly trying to shrink themselves to avoid the responsibility or consequences of wielding it.

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors! Instagram Tiktok

PS: This is my first short-form blog post! Lmk if you liked it and want to see more (I already have them scheduled you don't have a choice)

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[theoldlibrarynook]

Yeah, this all definitely needed to be said, I've seen a lot of the misconceptions you discussed when I peruse greek mythology tags for this guy. I hope you don't mind me adding though, for those interested on doing more reading into Ares specifically - Alexander Millington's PHD on the deity is available for free online.

This author has a lot of works focused on Ares, although none uploaded to his academia page unfortunately.

I would recommend his "Iyarri at the Interface: The Origin of Ares" however, it's an interesting look at the development of cults of Ares in Anatolia, and the differences with mainland Greece. I tried to find a (legal) free copy to link but uuuh no luck yet.

You do get hit like a freight truck with this bit though around page 557:

Couldn't find the bit where he goes back to this later atm, but the author ends up with the idea roughly speaking, of "local deity, whom 'Ares but woman' probably correlates to" as the tldr, with a tentative connection to how Iyarri has an attested (albeit rare) female variation.

Hopefully these additions to the conversation aren't imposing, felt they would be interesting to add.

ARES IS NOT THE PROTECTOR OF WOMEN IN GREEK MYTHOLOGY.

He is never presented as such in any source, there is no evidence such a role was ever assigned to him in any account, and as far as I'm aware this popular yet unattested assertion is born from the echo-chambers of tumblr. In fact quite the opposite could be argued. TW for sexual assault.

This baffling claim seems to originate from a sort of shallow examination of the way Ares "behaves in myth", and the following arguments are the most frequently presented:

1. Ares protects his daughter Alkippe from assault, and is therefore morally opposed to rape. (Apollodorus 3.180, Pausanias 1.21.4, Suidas "Areios pagos", attributed to Hellanikos)

Curiously this argument is never applied to, among other examples: Apollo for defending his mother Leto from Tytios, Herakles for defending Hera from Porphyrion (or his wife Deianeira from Nessos), or Zeus for defending his sister Demeter from Iasion (in the versions where he attacks her), etc. The multiple accounts of rape of the previously mentioned figures did not conflict with these stories in greek thought: they're defending family members or women otherwise close to them. This sort of mentality is not uncommon even in contemporary times, e.g. a warrior may have no ethical problem killing men, but would not want his own family or loved ones to be killed. The same goes here for sexual assault.

2. There are no surviving accounts of Ares sexually assaulting anybody.

The idea that the ancient greeks pictured that, among all the gods, Ares was the only one who shied away from committing rape borders on ridiculous. In this case absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

The majority of surviving records regarding Ares' unions are presented in a genealogical manner, and do not go into details on their nature. This is the case for most works of mythography, where specifics of sexual encounters are to be found elsewhere. However, common motifs present in other accounts of rape also appear in stories concerning Ares' relationships, e.g. tropes like shape-shifting/the use of disguises, the victim being a huntress, secrecy, and the disposal of the concieved child, are to be found in the stories of Phylonome and Astyoche respectively:

Φυλονόμη Νυκτίμου καὶ Ἀρκαδίας θυγάτηρ ἐκυνήγει σὺν τῇ Ἀρτέμιδι: Ἄρης δ᾽ ἐν σχήματι ποιμένος ἔγκυον ἐποίησεν. ἡ δὲ τεκοῦσα διδύμους παῖδας καὶ φοβουμένη τὸν πατέρα ἔρριψεν εἰς τὸν Ἐρύμανθο

"Phylonome, the daughter of Nyktimos and Arkadia, was wont to hunt with Artemis; but Ares, in the guise of a shepherd, got her with child. She gave birth to twin children and, fearing her father, cast them into the [River] Erymanthos." (Pseudo-Plutarch, Greek and Roman Parallel Stories, 36)

οἳ δ᾽ Ἀσπληδόνα ναῖον ἰδ᾽ Ὀρχομενὸν Μινύειον, τῶν ἦρχ᾽ Ἀσκάλαφος καὶ Ἰάλμενος υἷες Ἄρηος οὓς τέκεν Ἀστυόχη δόμῳ Ἄκτορος Ἀζεΐδαο, παρθένος αἰδοίη ὑπερώϊον εἰσαναβᾶσα Ἄρηϊ κρατερῷ: ὃ δέ οἱ παρελέξατο λάθρῃ: τοῖς δὲ τριήκοντα γλαφυραὶ νέες ἐστιχόωντο.

"And they that dwelt in Aspledon and Orchomenus of the Minyae were led by Ascalaphus and Ialmenus, sons of Ares, whom, in the palace of Actor, son of Azeus, Astyoche, the honoured maiden, conceived of mighty Ares, when she had entered into her upper chamber; for he lay with her in secret" (Homer, Iliad 2. 512 ff)

In neither of these cases is a verb explicitly denoting rape used, though it is heavily implied by the context. The focus of the action is on the conception of sons, the nature of the interaction is secondary.

Other examples are found among the daughters of the river Asopos, who where (and here there's no confusion) ravished and kidnapped by different gods to different parts of the greek world, where they found local lines through children borne to their abductors and serve as local eponyms. Surviving fragments from Corinna of Tanagra tell:

"Asopos went to his haunts . . from you halls . . into woe . . Of these [nine] daughters Zeus, giver of good things, took his [Asopos'] child Aigina . . from her father's [house] . . while Korkyra and Salamis and lovely Euboia were stolen by father Poseidon, and Leto's son is in possession of Sinope and Thespia . . [and Tanagra was seized by Hermes] . . But to Asopos no one was able to make the matter clear, until . . [the seer Akraiphen reveals to him] 'And of your daughters father Zeus, king of all, has three; and Poseidon, ruler of the sea, married three; and Phoibos [Apollon] is master of the beds of two of them, and of one Hermes, good son of Maia. For so did the pair Eros and the Kypris persuade them, that they should go in secret to your house and take your nine daughters." (heavily fragmented papyrus. Corinna fr. 654)

"For your [Tanagra's] sake Hermes boxed against Ares." (Corinna fr. 666)

It seems that, similar to the myths of Beroe or Marpessa, the abducted maiden is fought over by two competing "suitors", and though we can infer that the outcome of the story is that Hermes gets to keep Tanagra, apparently by beating Ares in a boxing match, we don't actually know what happened or how it happened. In any case, Ares does mate with another daughter of Asopos, Harpina, who bears him Oinomaos according to some versions (Paus. 5.22.6; Stephanus Byzantium. Ethnica. A125.3; Diodorus Siculus 4. 73. 1). There is little reason to suppose that this encounter wasn't pictured as an abduction like the rest of her sisters.

The blatant statement that each of his affairs was envisioned as consensual is simply not true.

3. He was worshipped under the epithet Gynaikothoinas "feasted by women"

This was a local cult that existed in Tegea, the following reason is given:

"There is also an image of Ares in the marketplace of Tegea. Carved in relief on a slab it is called Gynaecothoenas. At the time of the Laconian war, when Charillus king of Lacedaemon made the first invasion, the women armed themselves and lay in ambush under the hill they call today Phylactris. When the armies met and the men on either side were performing many remarkable exploits, the women, they say, came on the scene and put the Lacedaemonians to flight. Marpessa, surnamed Choera, surpassed, they say, the other women in daring, while Charillus himself was one of the Spartan prisoners. The story goes on to say that he was set free without ransom, swore to the Tegeans that the Lacedaemonians would never again attack Tegea, and then broke his oath; that the women offered to Ares a sacrifice of victory on their own account without the men, and gave to the men no share in the meat of the victim. For this reason Ares got his surname." (Paus. 8.48.4-5)

As emphasised by Georgoudi in To Act, Not Submit: Women’s Attitudes in Situations of War in Ancient Greece (part of the highly recommendable collection of essays Women and War in Antiquity), "it is not necessary to see the operation of an invitation in the bestowal of the epithet Γυναικοθοίνας on Ares". The epithet is ambiguous, and can be translated both as "Host of the banquet of women" or "[He who is] invited to the banquet of women". In any case no act of divine intervention occurs, and the main reason for the women's act of devotion lies principally in recognising their decisive role in the routing of the Lakedaimonians. It's they who preside/participate in the feast of war, the men are excluded.

Also this a local epithet that isn't found anywhere else in Greece. As such it would be worth reminding that not every Ares is Gynaikothoinas, in the same way not every Zeus is Aithiopian, not every Demeter Erinys, and not every Artemis of Ephesos.

4. He was the patron god of the Amazons

He was considered progenitor of the Amazons because of their proverbial warlike nature and love of battle, the same reason he was associated with other "barbaric" tribes, like the Thracians or the Scythians. In this capacity he was also appointed as a suitable father/ancestor for other violent and savage characters who generally function as antagonists (e.g. Kyknos, Diomedes of Thrace, Tereos of Thrace, Oinomaos, Agrios and Oreios, Phlegyas, Lykos etc.). Also he was by no means the only god connected with the Amazons (they were in fact especially linked to Artemis, see Religious Cults Associated With the Amazons by Florence Mary Bennett, if only for the bibliography).

Similarly, Poseidon was considered patron and ancestor of the Phaiakians mainly because of their mastery over the art of seafaring (and was curiously also credited in genealogies as father to monsters and other disreputable figures).

On another note I have found no sources that claim he taught his amazon daughters how to fight, as I've seen often mentioned (though I admit I'd love to be proven wrong on that point).

5. Finally, the last reason Ares could never be portrayed as a protector of women is because of his divine assignation itself

The uncountable references to his love of bloodshed and man-slaying don't just stop short of the battlefield, but continue on to the conclusion and intended purpose of most waged wars in antiquity: the sacking of the city. The title Sacker of Cities as an epithet of Ares (though it is by no means exclusive to him) is encountered numerous times and in different variations (eg. τειχεσιπλήτης or πτολίπορθος), and the meaning behind the epithet is plain. Though it is hard to summarise without being reductionist, the sacking of a city entails the plundering of all its goods, the slaughtering of its men, and the sistematic raping and enslavement of the surviving women (to name only a small few of the literary references see The Iliad, The Trojan Women or The Women of Trachis). There is little need to emphasise that war as concieved of in ancient greece, especifically the brutal aspects of war Ares is most often associated with, directly entailed sexual violence against women as one of it's main concerns. The multiple references to Ares being an unloved or disliked deity are because of this, because war is horrifying (not because his daddy is a big old meany who hates him for no reason, Zeus makes very clear the motive for his contempt in the Iliad (5. 889-891): "Do not sit beside me and whine, you double-faced liar. To me you are most hateful of all gods who hold Olympos. Forever quarreling is dear to your heart, wars and battles.")

Ares was only the protector of women inasmuch as he could be averted or repelled (e.g. surviving apotropaic chants):

"There is no clash of brazen shields but our fight is with the war god, a war god ringed with the cries of men, a savage god who burns us; grant that he turn in racing course backward out of our country’s bounds, to the great palace of Amphitrite or where the waves of the thracian sea deny the stranger safe anchorage. Whatsoever escapes the night at last the light of day revisits; so smite him, Father Zeus, beneath your thunderbolt, for you are the lord of the lightning, the lightning that carries fire." (Shophocles, Oedipus Tyrannos, 190-202)

"And let no murderous havoc come upon the realm to ravage it, by arming Ares—foe to the dance and lute, parent of tears—and the shout of civil strife." (Aeschylus, Suppliant Women 678)

~~~~~

All that being said, this is a post about Ares as conceptualized and attested in ancient sources, made specifically in response to condescending statements about how "uhmmm, actually, in greek mythology Ares was a super-feminist himbo who was worshipped as the protector of women and was hated by his family for no reason, you idiot". It is factually incorrect. HOWEVER, far be it from me to tell anyone how they have to interact with this deity. Be it your retellings, your headcannons or your own personal religious attachments and beliefs towards Ares, those are your own provinces and prerogatives, and not what was being discussed here at all (I personally love art where Ares and Aphrodite goof around, or retellings where he plays with his daughters, or headcannons that showcase his more noble sides, etc.)

~~~~~

I've seen that other people on tumblr have made similar posts, the ones I've seen were by @deathlessathanasia and @en-theos . I have no idea how to link their posts, but they're really good so go check them out on their pages!

[getvalentined]

An open letter to @staff

I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.

The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.

Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.

This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.

This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.

Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.

You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.

Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.

This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.

You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.

The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.

You can do so much better than this.

Response to the Update

Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.

I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.

Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.

People read it that way because that is what you said.

*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:

136,635 votes breaks down thusly:

An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)

Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)

This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?