#like. I bluescreened completely in the middle of french.

[shadowsandstarlight]

I cannot focus on my crocheting because I am having too many homosexual thoughts, send help

[writingforatwistedworld]

Phantom bride event-Seeing you in formal wear (suit/wedding dress/whatever) Pt. 4

My dear French-speaking readers, it's your time to shine and correct me. (Two words: Google translate)

Characters: Cater Diamond, Azul Ashengrotto, Rook Hunt

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, murder, death, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, kidnapping, war, violence, poison

My friend over here curses in his head about the situation of not being able of taking a photo

It's not like he would have shared it

After all, sometimes some moments are so precious that we want them only for ourselves

So here is Cater, fuming about not being able to add another photo into the album on his phone whilst you are swearing your undying love to princess over there

And then he bluescreens

Cater.exe has stopped working please restart

Wait, you are swearing your love to her? HER??!!

Don't ask me how but Cater would have butchered the lady if it weren't for the situation... and the fact that she is a ghost

He has made sure that you saw him in a good light the day you looked down upon him (aka installed the game)

And now his entire careful planning was for nothing??!

Nu-uh! Not under his watch!

Yells from afar “Is that the one you want as your partner? Look at her! She is just a pile of bones in reality! She is dead!”

Everything to stop you from completing that vow

All I'm saying to this is, hey, have you seen Idia? Yeah he is also screaming in panic because of two things he just wants to live

When all of this is done Cater will burn the clothing you wore for this problem

No one is allowed to stain his dream! No friend of his! No annoying stranger! And especially no annoying princess which is way too spoiled!

If he could move then the first thing he would do is to throw the wedding cake which is standing besides him at missy

“Don't play with your food Azul!” Mom! This is a completely different situation! MY LIMITED EDITION OVERSEER!!!

Also: *sad octopus noises*

He isn't even trying to uphold that “untouchable businessman” facade, just full on sobbing octopus

Can you please fry him something later? I... I think he needs it

Azul has dreamed of being someone worthy of your attention for a long time at this point of life

He lost weight, learned to gain just a smothered of your knowledgedge and yet he seems to have achieved nothing

Just hug him, ok? Do it for me, ok? P... please? ;_;

I mean, he is literally a puddle, signing, crying, getting his eyes dried with a handkerchief from one of the princesses more soft-hearted soldiers

It's as if he has been thrown back into his childhood

Azul is there, only able to watch but not capable of doing something against the insults

Because he is just born differently

But uh... ever thought about looking for a house in the dark dark sea?

Why? Oh well, this might have been the last straw for him and... you know, that fin-into-leg thingy also works in reverse

Do you want to meet other merpeople though? Oh uh... why are they suddenly gone? This was once a bustling village! (You are in the middle of nowhere where only one house stands. Whatever floats... sinks your ship Azul)

But at least you got a life of which many dream of! A loving husband, a beautiful home and a curse which shackles you to him. Wait.. no, correct??! You can't leave him forever.

Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy

Peace? Safety? A life without a bow within your surroundings?

What is this? Not self-aware au for all I know

This means guerre!

Every single deer shot, every single bunny caught in a trap was just preparation and practice for this moment

If it weren't for the teeny tiny fact that, well, his enemies are ghosts. Vieilles âmes. Des ennuis embêtants!

Yeah, arrow and bow are kinda useless

There he is, one of the unfrozen ones, one of the possible candidates for signing the deal after this

You two are already wearing the clothing for it so...

But then there is also madame Boudin* Bleue and hE wIlL nOt AcCePt A rInG wHicH iS nOt FoR hIm On ThE hAnD oF aNoThEr

Once more: guerre!

But a verbal one this time

That one way too complicated poem he made up to the guard in the beginning? Those skills were thrown over board and drowned pretty fast

Full blown screaming, threats and not a single indicator that he is from Pomefiore

If Snow White was his suave-ness and he the fairest queen then he wouldn't have poisoned her but just straight off chopped her head off

I would start to learn how to unlock even the complicated of locks at this point. You know, for that cottage that has o many of them in the middle of the woods to which he will drag you after all of this

*I was told that Boudin means in a more insulting way “ugly” so don't think I mean the sausage XD