#like? wu xie? Getting Depressed. Life? A mess falling apart

[mejomonster]

i mean i love the angst i’ve apparently signed up for

but also wu xie’s life is just “hello i love someone,” and “oh fuck that bastard left while i wasn’t looking! WHERE are they”

like. hello san shu. hello xiaoge. >->

Pangzi is so great he deserves so much better than this >o>

if i were wu xie, i too would make a found family with my best friend, acquire a troop of people who loyally work for me, and surround myself with all of them throughout my life to cope and also have More Manpower when the fuckers i love disappear on me every so often

if i were truly wu xie, i would also probably get a kick out of how many people i’ve made into good-archaeologist helpers instead of thieves. since u know, if they’re working for wu xie they aren’t allowed to steal any treasure. im sure he’s real happy he’s made honest men of so many robbers. 

but im sure he also still convieniently surrounds himself with robbers cause they’re way more skilled than him at this Action Lifestyle stuff.

it really is incredible to me. that wu xie is like ‘no stealing absolutely Not absolutely NOT i’ll throw money i don’t have away just to mitigate the damage of Stealing’ but then he still commits. so many crimes. have i seen a modern cdrama before where the lead commits this many crimes? zhao yunlan don’t really count cause he’s technically the law in his universe, and his govt is Supposed to be corrupt and evil by the time he’s disobeying them/breaking the rules. idk maybe. maybe i have? but like. Pangzi is just genuinely ‘yes i’m a james bond villain henchmen, no need to pay attention to moi’ as he acts like ‘oh im just a young man, let me go!’ dude u can handle a car chase, a kidnapping, a break into rich people’s criminal meetings, u steal when on the run immediately cause u know how to survive. i love u but. there’s a reason NO one is believing ur inexperienced sir. 

Meanwhile wu xie is “YES we are gonna rob 400 armed soldiers, 50 disgustingly rich people, and NO I don’t have any plan at all, anyway we leave in 5 minutes.” Wu Xie is like “i’m gonna steal this mans computer, but also try to compassionately make him spill the beans, yes my plan is to walk back in costume after already making a clown of myself in a suit today, yes i was caught, yes ITS FINE what of it? Oh he’s gonna call the cops? BUT i’m EARNEST, you dont NEED to do that!’ Wu Xie is going to get himself killed...

 i would still like to know: Xiaoge, would you break him out of regular prison? Like, if wu xie did some stupid giant international crime and a rich person threw the book at him cause they’re bastards, and wu xie landed like a 50 year sentence - would you come break him out? Lets imagine Er Bai didn’t find out (cause otherwise idk maybe he’d spend filthy amounts of money to try and buy wu xie back out). Xiaoge, would you? Or would you leave him in there cause he’s stuck in one place and can’t get killed?

Which... u know wu xie could. He would upset the guards, he would push too many nerves, or worse some villain would come steal him themselves and then lock him up themselves privately... then would you save him?

Also imagine for a moment, Xiaoge breaking in JUST to like. Cuddle and tell Wu Xie updates, then leaving mysteriously while he’s asleep. Xiaoge’s Dream life almost, tbh. Wu Xie is safe ‘in theory’ and Xiaoge can be emotionally close without worrying, and still leave whenever. agh

Realistically though. If wu xie was locked up, Pangzi would be there asap if he wasn’t screwed at the same time already. And Pangzi would break them out. The man is james bond or something. Pangzi would simply break them out somehow. And if villains somehow intercepted Wu Xie’s ass while they could? Then Xiaoge Would come and help save him then.