#like yeah i come on tumblr because i'm inattentive but other than that
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#tw vent#tbh i don't know how to feel or what to do other than that i feel Bad#i have completed almost 50 school assignments over the past four weeks#i completed the entire coursework of one class and essentially wrote 15 short essays for the next plus the usual programming#and i think i'm experiencing burnout which would be kind of a given but i feel this like intense religious level guilt--#if i'm not constantly working on schoolwork (unless i'm at work or sleeping)#like yeah i come on tumblr because i'm inattentive but other than that#i took a break for like an hour to cross stitch and do some mindless gaming which was nice#and i was just about ready to write when my dad came in upstairs to his office#& i was on the couch & he was mad that i had locked the door (i didn't know he was coming up) & that i made to leave#& he said that it was weird that i didn't want to work in the same room as him but tbh i just don't like the silence with another person#& i just...really don't wanna deal with all that suspect paranoia bullshit from when i was 14 where my parents wanted to look into my stuff#i don't think that'll happen but it does hang over my head sometimes#so now i have my fic open in one tab and yet another fucking assignment open in the next that's not due until next saturday#& i don't know what to do or how to feel#i know i need/want to do the CE revision and work on IR but it's hard to just work past the guilt and paranoia#and i don't wanna disappoint anyone#i might go on a walk#rose.txt
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•August 2024•