#like yeah anders does love mhawke more. yeah fratt is basically canon and they fit each others tropes and narratives perfectly
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girlhood is having a very normal reaction to a ship you dont like
#i cant explain why but it does /gen feel feminine to me. when i do it.#maybe because the idea of being a girl is part of the issue most of the time#not a man not a woman but merely a girl. who are you to compete#ive had a rough night. couldnt sleep because there were bugs crawling all over me. disgusting#sometimes i wake up because of flies or some other flying bug hovering over my ear and it sends a jolt of panic thru me every time#anyway. uh. yk what the worst part of wanting to analyze the media i consume is#almost every time i can logically say that the fandom is right. with the biggest ship of the current man of my life#like yeah anders does love mhawke more. yeah fratt is basically canon and they fit each others tropes and narratives perfectly#and yet still i start sobbing and weiling like a child throwing a tantrum and i mean thats kinda what it is no#god sorry yapper hour. i just woke up and started crying almost immediately#i miss Him and artfight isnt going too well for me and i feel bad for feeling disappointed and i compare myself to others and just. yeah#is this normal am i mentally ill or just entitled#gonna go snort copium (stay in bed and have delusional ooc daydreams)
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