#like yeah I have friends but 99% of them are several hundred/thousand miles away
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#it's real self pity hours lmfao#once again feeling not like a real person#okay google how to actually make friends like real actual friends and not just acquaintances#I feel like a robot trying to interact with people like I require input otherwise I won't say anything back like#:|#like I only really talk to one person regularly and like lol#like yeah I have friends but 99% of them are several hundred/thousand miles away#like how do I explain to people that I was literally isolated from birth through highschool#like I was homeschooled and I can count on one hand how many friends I've had growing up#I literally don't have 99% of the experiences most people have so relating to people is fucking hard#and that's on top of the preexisting autism so like :/#I feel like a feral animal that was in a cage all it's life and now that it's free from it it just sits in the corner#because that's all it's ever known#idk I'm very very terribly lonely and it's been weighing so fucking heavily on me#like I get legit super sad when any kind of hangout gets canceled because lord knows I haven't talked to anyone in weeks
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