#like we all know amanda tapping as sam and naomi but

[stargatebarbie]

how come i got the flavour of autism that makes me want to make spreadsheets of actors who appear in both the cws hit tv show supernatural and the stargate franchise rather than like good at complex math autism

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e23 sacrifice (w. jeremy carver)

are we gonna make nic cry (it's a low bar but s7 finale managed to not make it)

JODY It's not a date till I've cried.

we're definitely leaning into full on bad guy crowley this season. i liked when he was more ambiguous. maybe he'll help, maybe he'll fuck everyone over. dragging jody into it, now. all right

not me feeling more emotional about bobby's scrapyard than i did about seeing actual-bobby again

CROWLEY Nice try, squirrel. Moose is doing these trials. Moose signs. DEAN No, no. He's not signing anything until I read the fine print. [SAM yanks the pen from DEAN] SAM I can read it. DEAN Hey, you wanted me here. I'm here. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let him screw us even more. CROWLEY What's this? Trouble in paradise, boys?

crowley's turning into a bit of a caricature. too much of a good thing maybe

DEAN I can do this all day, 'cause you know what? Damn, it feels good! But sooner or later, you're gonna have to face it -- you're ours. Which means that your demon ass is going to be a mortal ass pretty damn quick. CROWLEY [to SAM] What's he mouthing on about? SAM You're the third trial, Crowley.

a) ignoring any bitch implications b) you know i really dislike torture but even i got a little vicarious satisfaction from dean punching him c) i've got a hodgepodge of demon dean/mark of cain nebulous plot awareness that's on the horizon but no idea how they come to pass, so my mind keeps wandering wondering if this or that is related. focus!

CASTIEL Yes. Would you say that you're looking for, uh, a partner in crime... ...or, uh, someone who's into nurse role-play and light domination? DWIGHT Brother, it's 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday.

sir, this is a wendy's

lovely shot but it feels like the shiny happy people version of s1 true detective which is on the brain because of this video of a deleted scene i posted a bit ago which is just (gorgeous) extended moody atmospheric location shots of coastal louisiana set to appropriate music

SAM Honestly, for the first time in a long time, it feels like we're gonna win. I'm good.

TAKE IT BACK, SAM.

dean's just trying to help!

the sick damp puppy look is just too precious for words. dean, give him a hug and some soup

lovely lovely. even more true detective s1 vibes (that season of that show was one of the most beautiful things... southern gothic atmospherics off the charts. ugh. i made an edit with it and hannibal because the rust cohle is will graham is rust cohle of it all)

true detective s1e2 seeing things

DEAN Anything? You've been gone long enough. CASTIEL No. There was one female, but... DEAN What? CASTIEL ...I don't think she was female

heavy sigh. transphobic jokes are evergreen

followed up by dean being flabbergasted for .. 10 seconds? that the cupid love match thing was two men. fuck you, show. i know, it's nothing new. but back to back, i'm exponentially annoyed

and i'm so disinterested in this heaven business i'd never looked up naomi's actress. she was sam carter on sg1! totally did not recognize her without the blonde hair. i didn't watch a ton of sg1 but enough to be quite familiar with the mains

stargate sg-1 amanda tapping as samantha carter

anyway. back to sam being half dead and abaddon smoking out (was it red? they did this with crowley too and i wasn't sure it wasn't just the lighting on the black smoke)

again the twilight/zombie looks good on him

this crowley thing.. this whole girls (tv series) speech his voice is higher pitched and the accent changed? what is going on

and are we supposed to be feeling something about crowley crying and wanting help from sam with asking for forgiveness? the time given his speech and music says yes, but my brain says excuse me what now. offering his neck up like bella, mushy music swells

DEAN Metatron lied. You finish this trial, you're dead, Sam. SAM So?

glad i knew that was coming

okay so i've watched this whole church scene several times now trying to figure out why it's not hitting any emotional buttons. padalecki is working his ass off and doing amazing and i'm getting nothing from jackles, subsequently i'm feeling not much of anything. did they break my emotions? which is extra weird because the text of this conversation is like.. romantic catnip? should be breaking and remaking my heart and yet...? just for a hint at the end the music reminded me of the expanse and THAT made me feeling a little something. so, like a broken record, i'm blaming this partially on the musical score.

SAM Look at him. Look at him! Look how close we are! Other people will die if I don't finish this! DEAN Think about it. Think about what we know, huh? Pulling souls from hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a Hellhound! We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can't do it without you. SAM You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember? DEAN Come on, man. That's not what I meant. SAM No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again. DEAN Sam -- SAM [beginning to cry] What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another -- another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just –

like this really should be stabbing me in the gut and it's just not and it is such a shame because really, padalecki is doing so good with it. damnit, show, what did you do

DEAN Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.

"don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you" like hello, feelings, this is insane, where are you

the only part that worked for me is the little handfasting moment

do not to get to see this soft smile very often

DEAN Just let it go. SAM I can't. It's in me, Dean. You don't know what this feels like. [DEAN wraps a bandanna around Sam’s cut.] DEAN Hey, listen,we will figure it out, okay, just like we always do. Come on. DEAN Come on. Let it go, okay? Let it go, brother. SAM Hey, Dean. DEAN See? [ SAM Breathing shakily then Sam doubles over in pain. DEAN brings SAM outside the church. ] DEAN Sam? I got you, little brother. You're gonna be just fine.

calling him brother and little brother in one go

apparently i've forgotten already how cas and megatron left things in the time i spent trying to wrap my head around my (lack of) emotional reaction to the church thing. ah right, it was a spell, needed castiel's grace. that's why it's raining angels

the music, the effects.. this all hit the right notes at least. reminded me a smidge of stranger things with the music and rain and the car and ominous things happening in the sky.

see, imagine this show, but with the music of stranger things. like, really well done music cues, not just bad generic weird fake rock blues whatever and classic rock because we have one character note about his musical preferences and we're gonna ride it into the ground. i'm so bitter about the music in this show letting it down! lol

so why did fandom glom on to the spelling of cas? since it's pronounced cass. and is cass in the captions and scripts. having never heard it but seen it a bunch, i assumed it was going to be pronounced caz. cass too feminine?

(for the record one tear came from the expanse-like musical cue and i don't think spn gets the credit for it. i'm stunned, honestly)

so sometimes, i will admit, i have a kneejerk dislike - or anger, of something that seems irrational considering my shipping preferences. like, in 2x11 playthings and sam honestly looks like he's about to kiss dean, i was mad. i felt like they were baiting this thing that would never go anywhere, i was pissy about the gay jokes in the scenes prior at the front desk. now with separation and seeing 6 more seasons, i see how they actually have often stuck to this plausible deniability romance dynamic between them and made it more textual without making the impossible full commit to gay incest on the CW.

i don't think that's what's going on with me and the church thing because i'm not like freaked out->upset->pissy, i'm just... not feeling it. super weird

trying to keep a list of the horrifying results of castiel's attempts to do the right thing.... there's just so many 🤪

[septembersghost]

you say you love almost everyone and that's so nice to me since there is a TON of hate and negativity from feuding sides in this fandom against the boys and i find that depressing ): but it also makes me wanna know...who DON'T you love?

my scrap of advice regarding the vitriol, since I was once badly affected by it and found it damaging to my relationship with the show at certain points (cruel negativity =/= constructive discussion/thoughtful criticism, of course, I have plenty of that myself, but there’s definitely some really unpleasant stuff out there that is simply toxic for the sake of it) - people have strong opinions and you, friend, are allowed to ignore them! I admit it is far easier said than done, I am NOT good at doing this when I see hate directed at Dean, but I have gotten a lot better at not focusing constantly on things that make me so upset and bitter that I start to resent characters, and that has really helped me. another thoughtful person mentioned yesterday how it can be useful to try to see various perspectives in the story, even if you do not agree with them (this is where there’s a difference between sympathy and empathy - I find I feel the former a lot for various characters, whereas Dean gets the depth of the latter, but both are types of care). find your safe, good space, and don’t let anyone take it from you. <3

who don’t I love? hmmm. one shall not be named, but if you know, you know. (this is not S or C.)

the D*bb era was NOT good to supporting characters, even ones I love, and had trouble utilizing/handling them well, but there are still many that I have a lot of fondness for.

Lucifer, particularly Lucifer played by M*rk P, should never have appeared again after Swan Song. (if we had to have Sam’s hell hallucinations, they needed to figure out some other way to frame them, because it doesn’t even make sense that he sees Lucifer in Nick’s vessel. it would have been much more horrific if he had seen HIMSELF as possessed by Lucifer, but I get why that would have been difficult to film.) it stole a large portion of his power and effectiveness, and the archangels’ presence kept getting more and more reduced and diluted overall. the fact that we had to deal with him literally down to the wire in 15x19 (and I liked many aspects of Inherit the Earth)...mind-boggling. (we also didn’t need Nick’s storyline? who asked.)

Metatron? I just cannot stand him? laying aside the fact that he brutally murdered Dean in a way I found actively traumatic (yeah! I was indeed messed up about one of his deaths long before 15x20. 9x23 actually gave me nightmares at the time, and that was the WORST hiatus because I was so horrified that I considered quitting, which is the one time that ever seriously happened, although, looking back, maybe that was the smarter instinct...? tuning in to 10x01 and feeling extreme trepidation was not fun, but then demon!Dean was like, “heyyyyy girl, I’m charming and more naughty and unhinged than actively evil and you will actually want to have fun and unleash me!” and I was like...damn, okay, I guess. love my boy, whatever he is! /rambling) the concept of Metatron is interesting and could’ve added some great elements to the narrative (they tried), but he creeped me out and I cannot stand the way they characterized him. (I feel bad because it makes me want to tear Curtis Armstrong’s head off when he shows up in anything else, which I recognize is an unfair reaction!)

Amelia is maybe the one lady (possibly Toni too? idk I barely remember her existence. Naomi’s not my fave by a long-shot, but Amanda Tapping handled the portrayal well) I find nothing worth defending about, it’s not even hate at all, she just is so boring and straight out of a bad soap (it’s JARRING, yes, our show did indulge in all its glamour and its trauma and its fucking melodrama, but she’s from some other genre. it probably doesn’t help that I resent that storyline in S8, and she and Sam have black hole negative chemistry. I do hate the bright filter they used on her scenes).

Chuck as soon as he became a megalomaniacal villain and broke the logic and rules of the entire narrative. again, I understand what they were aiming for, the idea of God as a villain and wresting back your own agency/control/freedom is one that I am deeply drawn towards, I think it’s an important idea, I love the philosophical and gnostic aspects of what they were tackling. I didn’t even mind it when we found out he was God (it had been theorized for so long!), but then the way it was addressed at the very end damaged a lot of key pieces and it forces us to ignore that to even allow the rest of the story to retain its cohesion.

It’s a very small list in a vast world of characters beyond our mains, though! There are even one-off characters who I happily stan. It hurts me that so many of them suffered (SPN doesn’t discriminate on its pain and torment, unfortunately, and no one is more evidence of that than Dean himself now, but when you think about what any of them went through...), but I enjoy more of them than not!

[nickelkeep]

What We’re in For

Pairing: Dean/Cas Rating: Mature Word Count: 5.2K Warnings: Minor Character Death Written For: nickel’s storytime, part 4 of the Runaway Series On Ao3

Dean anxiously paced back and forth in Bobby's study. He was on the phone, and while Bobby was making some noises of approval, he couldn't get a read on the Old Man.

"Sit down." Sam hissed, pointing at one of the chairs by the window. "You're making me nervous."

"I'm making you nervous? Our old man is hunting down an innocent pack, you know, the one that has a member that I accidentally bonded with? How do you think I feel?" Dean snapped before listening to his brother's advice and sitting down.

Bobby set his phone down on his desk. "You both can knock it off." He pointed at the free seat next to Dean. "You sit down too, Sam. I need your head in the game as much as Dean's."

"What did you find out?" Dean reached for the whiskey Bobby kept on the table between the two chairs, only to have his hand slapped at by Sam. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

"And I said enough." Bobby huffed out before covering his face with his hand. He let out a sigh and dragged his hand down. "Looks like an old hunting colleague of ours got himself into a position of power out in Illinois. Name's Kubrick. He took John's application and approved it with little fanfare."

"Sounds like there's more to it." Sam leaned forward, resting his elbow on his knees. "Something fishy?"

"You two remember Annie Hawkins, right?" Bobby waited until Sam and Dean acknowledged him. "Well, I had her look into it. The patron for the license is listed as one Amanda Tapping. However–" Bobby picked his phone back up and turned it to the brothers. "The lady on the left is Amanda Tapping. The lady on the right is the one who claims to be Amanda Tapping."

"Is this Ms. Tapping a family member of one of the people the wendigo got?" Dean asked.

"Nailed it in one." Bobby nodded. "However, thanks to Annie being as good as she is, she found out that this lady on the right here is a woman by the name of Naomi Novak."

Dean sat up straighter in his chair. "Novak? Like Clan Novak." He looked at Sam. "Gabriel mentioned a Naomi."

"Who is she?"

"I'm not sure, Sam. I'm thinking she's their former Pack Leader. Gabe mentioned something about how 'female pack leaders are normally cold, like Naomi,' when we were talking about Maddie in the hospital." Dean ruffled his hair. "Maybe she is, and she was ousted. And now she's trying to get revenge on her clan?" Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

"Calling your wolf?" Bobby sat on the corner of his desk.

"If his old Pack Leader is coming after him, I should probably warn him." He let out a heavy sigh. "Come on, Cas. Pick up." The phone went to voice mail, and Dean hung up before trying to call again.

"Dean?"

Dean hushed at Sam and waited until the phone went to voicemail again. "Shit." He jumped up from his seat and pointed at his younger brother. "Go find Maddie, protect her and her Pack. Bobby, can you get other witches or hunters to Garth and Kate's packs, please?"

He was out the door and behind his Baby's steering wheel in a matter of seconds. Cas simply did not not answer his phone. He'd pick up, say he was busy, and that he'd call back. Something about being polite and punctual. As he sped down the road to the Homestead, Dean tried two more times to call Cas, both going straight to voicemail. He hoped that it only meant that Cas was down in the bunker, and there was no signal for his call to get through.

Once he pulled up in front of the farmhouse, Dean quickly shifted Baby into park and hopped out. He didn't see any of Clan Novak's Weres out and about working, and his anxiety began to skyrocket. Dean ran up to the house and banged on the front door. When no one answered, he tried the knob and let himself in. As Dean looked around, he realized that he had come across the scene of a house left in a hurry.

"CAS?" Dean cried out, running around the house. He searched each floor quickly, pushing open bedroom doors and looking for any Weres that may have hidden. Both satisfied and unsatisfied that there was no one left in the house, Dean made his way outside and started running towards the silo.

Before he made it halfway, a single solitary gunshot rang through the air. "CAS!" Dean cried out. He paused for all of a moment listening for the echo of the shot to fade before determining the location of the shooter. Dean broke out into a sprint, making his way towards the woods on the far side of the house.

…

"Well, I knew I was right in hiding out in these woods. Breaking one or two of your wards was sure to send one of you running out here to check it." Cas fought down a growl as the man standing in front of him aimed the gun at his Aunt Amara. "Didn't think I'd be lucky enough to have a two-for-one special. Granted, I won't leave until I've killed every single one of your Pack members. That's what this nice little permit here entitles me to."

"You were able to procure a permit to kill us?" Amara's voice rang steady, helping to calm and center Cas. "I'm not sure how you achieved that legally, considering we were proven innocent."

"Then why were you so afraid?" The man took another step closer and switched his aim to Cas as Cas started to move between the two of them. "Back up, Mutt. I've been hunting with this my whole life. I'll get you and still get her before she can shift."

"Aunt Amara, if I tackle him, you can run. Please," Cas pleaded. "The Pack needs you."

"Hush, sweet Pup," Amara reached over and ran her fingers through the fur at Cas' nape. "It will all be okay."

"Like hell, it will." The man used the rifle to prod and nudge Amara, causing the distance to grow between her and Cas. "Maybe I should line you two up, no point in sparing a bullet on both of you. It would just be a waste." The hunter lifted the gun, aiming it Cas. "Sorry, Mutt, nothing personal. Just hate creatures, and the money made it so worth it."

Before he could pull the trigger, a bright streak of silver came out behind the man, biting at his arm and trying to knock the rifle free.

"You stupid beast!" The man whipped his arm back and the shirt tore away, revealing a Kevlar arm guard. "You think you're my first creature to hunt?" Before the wolf could get back to its feet, the man delivered a swift and strong kick to the wolf's ribs, sending it tumbling against the ground. "Well, you've got the honors of being the first of your pack to die, friend."

"Inias!" Amara cried out, as Cas howled and started to charge at the hunter.

A loud, solitary gunshot stopped Cas in his tracks, and the hunter turned around, racking his rifle for another shot. Cas growled and prepared to pounce on the man when Amara jumped onto him. "No, Castiel. No!"

"You think you're going to get off the hook? I've got enough silver bullets for over two hundred wolves." The man smirked. "And as far as I'm concerned, there's no one out here to hear–"

"ABI!"

The man flew across the glade and slammed into a tree. He hit with a sick thunk and slid down, collapsing at the trunk. Both Cas and Amara looked to the source of the spell, and Cas' heart started pounding rapidly at the sight of Dean, panting, resting his hands on his legs.

"Inias!" Amara wailed, scrambling to her feet, tripping as she made her way to the silver wolf. Cas watched as Dean ran next to her, and he quickly followed, using his nuzzle to move Amara out of the way. Through their bond, Cas felt as Dean's heart sank, and he instantly knew that his pack member, one of his closest kin growing up, was gone.

"Hold on for me, please." Dean started pushing magic into Inias. "Please, your pack needs you, Inias."

Cas whimpered and nuzzled against Dean. While he knew that Dean could understand what he was saying, he hoped the message was clear.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough." Dean got to his feet and helped Amara to her feet. He bent back down and picked up Inais' body, cradling it carefully. "Show us where to go, Cas. I need to get you two to safety before John wakes up."

Cas focused his nuzzling on Amara's hand. "You heard him, Aunt Amara. We need to go."

"I know, sweet Pup." Amara wiped at her face and fell in line behind Cas, with Dean bringing up the rear.

…

Dean stood at the rear of the room, closest to the door. It felt wrong to be there, he felt like an intruder on the Pack's grief. Sure, he had gotten to know Inias over the past couple of weeks, and he mourned for the loss of a pack member beloved to Cas, but this wasn't his place.

So he stood a silent vigil in the back. While it was unlikely John would figure out how to get in the bunker, he wouldn't let anymore harm come to Clan Novak. Dean watched as Cas held his Aunt Amara, and briefly remembered that Inias was his cousin. Was Amara Inias' mother?

As Amara sunk to the floor crying, Dean felt Cas' pain and guilt wash over him. He knew that Cas took his position of Den Protector seriously. The fact that Inias died, coming to rescue him and Amara had to weigh on Cas's shoulders. Unable to cross the room to comfort Cas, Dean thought about their bond for a moment. If he could feel Cas' emotions, could Cas feel his?

Dean started small, pushing through what he hoped was a feeling of comfort. He closed his eyes and imagined pulling Cas into a warm, comforting embrace. Dean opened his eyes and found Cas whipping his head up, their eyes locking instantly. Cas' head tilted to the side and Dean inhaled sharply, knowing that Cas had felt it.

Yet, as quick as Dean had made use of their bond, Cas quickly closed it off. Unsure of what Cas meant by his actions, Dean nodded and turned towards the door, exiting the room. He quickly found the stairs and made his up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Once Dean had a signal, he promptly swiped through his phone, pulling up Sam's number.

"Dean, how are things going over there?" Sam answered after the second ring.

"Sam. He got one. The Old Man got Inias." Dean wiped his hand over his mouth and hung his head. "I was too late getting here."

"You got there as fast as you could, Dean." Sam calmly replied, a valiant attempt at trying to comfort Dean. "I'm sure you saved a lot more of them by calling and getting Cas moving."

"Not enough, Sam." Dean leaned back against the wall and slid down it, sitting in the stair landing. "What's going on outside of here?"

"I'm not completely sure myself. I'm with Maddie's Pack, we're all in their safehouse. Bobby went to Kate's Pack, a couple of their members are out of town, but they called them to keep them out of town for an extra day or two. Rufus is with Garth's Pack, and they're all accounted for."

Dean let out a sigh of relief. "Glad to hear the old man's not had a chance to sow grief and chaos in the other packs."

"Well, it gets better. I was talking to Bobby before I called you. Annie was able to get John's permit revoked."

"Seriously?" Dean perked up and briefly contemplated running out of the bunker to help with any kind of manhunt.

"Seriously. Annie presented the evidence to the rest of the council that that Kubrick guy is on. They were apparently already pissed with Kubrick approving the permit without consulting with the rest of the group. Add on the fact that the evidence was clearly pointing to a Wendigo, not a Were or a pack."

"Cool, so state the obvious, obvious is recognized. Now we go after the bastard." The sound of steps on metal caused Dean to look down the stairs. "Since the permit is considered Null and Void, will that make what John did..."

Sam's side of the call remained quiet, and Dean pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure the call didn't drop. "...illegal kill. That's murder, Dean."

"Good." Dean closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. So we've already got people going after him?"

"Pretty much. Jody and Donna have already put out an APB, and I know they're personally on the move as well. John hurt a lot of people when he went dark side, Dean." Sam sighed.

"I think they're asking for assistance from the rest of the cryptid community. Specifically, the ones without weakness to silver, like Charlie and Ash, among others."

"As long as they're careful, the more, the merrier." Dean pushed himself back up to his feet. "I'm going to let the Pack know I'm heading out. Having a witch or two could be beneficial to the manhunt as well."

"I mean, don't let me stop you, Dean, but maybe you should stay in place. Cas and his Pack need you right now."

As though summoned, Cas appeared, looking up the stairs. Dean frowned. "I'll let you know, Sam. Keep me informed." Dean hung up the phone and looked at it in his palm. "Hiya, Cas."

"Hello, Dean." An awkward silence fell between them briefly, before Cas spoke up. "You're leaving?"

"I'm just getting in the way here, and if I'm out there, I can bring my father in. They revoked the permit, which means that killing Inias was illegal." Dean cringed at how he said that. "There's no way I can fix that, can I?"

Cas walked up the few steps between them. "I know what you meant, Dean. I know that hunters have their place in this world, we all do. And we know that some people are just evil." Cas hesitantly rested his hand on the side of Dean's neck.

"Cas, I'm sorry I wasn't here fast enough. I should have come right here, I should have..." Dean silenced as Cas placed a finger on his lips.

"There's nothing you could have done, Dean. I, nor the rest of the Pack, blame you." Cas removed his finger. "Inias wouldn't have let anything happen to our Aunt Amara."

"So you don't hate me?"

Cas stood up straight, the surprise evident on his face. "Why would I hate you?"

"When I tried to reach out to you through the bond?" Dean felt the blush rise on his cheeks and focused on the pattern in the steps.

Cas let out a sad chuckle. "You surprised me." Cas brought his other hand to rest on the other side of Dean's neck and pulled him in for a soft, sweet kiss. "You came to save us, Dean. You protected me and Amara."

"I had to, Cas." Dean rested his forehead against Cas'. "I heard that gunshot, and I froze."

Cas nodded slightly before dropping his hand to take Dean's. "Amara and Gabe want to talk to you. And I promise, they're not mad, they just have a lot of questions."

"I would if I were in their shoes too." Dean shook his head and smiled sadly at Cas. "Lead the way?"

…

To say that the warm feeling that Dean had pushed through their bond had been a surprise was an understatement. It had left Cas in shock, and he needed to slam down any mental barriers to keep himself composed. Cas wanted nothing more to experience the bond, to feel it and feed it and nurture it, but it didn't feel right to do so while standing next to Inias.

Inias, who wouldn't get to find out if Hayden, from Kate's Pack, returned any interest. Inias, who had lost his mother early, and was raised by Amara. Inias, who had grown up with Castiel, side by side.

Cas felt bad slamming Dean out, but at that moment, he couldn't handle two overwhelming emotions at once.

When Amara pulled him aside and asked him to go get Dean, he almost refused. Not because he didn't want to see Dean, but because it made him feel worse about being the one to live, and not Inias. However, knowing that Amara would be disappointed in him, he started the search for Dean, quickly finding him sitting on the stairs.

Once back with Amara and Gabe, the main thing on Cas' mind was the brief, but sweet, kiss the two had shared, and how he initiated it. Cas knew he should be listening to Dean explain about John, but he couldn't focus on the words coming out of Dean's moving lips.

"Castiel?" Amara asked, her eyebrow raised in interest. "Dean was telling us about his father. Did you catch any of it?"

"It's okay, Amara. Cas and I can talk about it at another time. You said you had other questions?" Dean took Cas' hand and gently squeezed it.

"If this question is too personal, I understand, but I have this need to know, much like Castiel, I'm sure." She paused and looked at Cas before looking back to Dean. "Are you a natural-born witch?"

"Yes, ma'am." Dean nodded.

"Your mother, I'm assuming."

Dean looked at Cas and nodded again. "Yeah. She was natural-born, as was her mother, and then there's magic woven throughout all of those branches. My brother and I can trace magic back so far in our line that we can go back to the beginning of written history." He turned to look at back at Amara, and Cas focused on her as well.

"That explains a lot." Amara smiled softly and rested her hand on Dean's shoulder. Cas tilted his head and felt anger build up inside of him. "Anna told me that she tried to tell you the significance of Castiel's fur?"

"She had mentioned something about Cas not being able to bond if he didn't want it. And then she had offered to let me in on a secret about his fur." The surprise must have shown on Cas' face, as Dean immediately apologized. "Sorry, Cas. It wasn't something I exactly asked to know."

"I'm not mad at you, Dean. I'm more surprised that she thinks it's okay to share Were Trade secrets."

"To be fair, she was using it to keep me from fighting our bond." Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

Cas felt his eyes go wide. "You wanted to fight the bond?"

"At the very beginning, yes, Cas." Dean turned to face Cas and grabbed his other hand. "You know how guilty I feel that I took your choice away from you."

"While it's commendable, and it does make me fonder of you, Dean, that's not something you would have had to worry about," Amara commented. She pulled their attention back to her. "Tell me, have you heard of the term 'Noćnivuk?'"

Cas let out a heavy sigh, knowing the lesson that Dean was about to receive.

"Can't say that I have," Dean replied.

"As a Cryptid nurse, I'm sure you're aware that all Werewolves have dormant magic. It's what we draw on to shift, what we use for our healing factor. It's what makes us who we are."

"I'm aware of that, yes."

"Noćnivuk or 'Night Wolves' are the wolves whose magic doesn't lay dormant, and can be drawn upon for other things." Amara smiled at Cas, and he let out another heavy sigh. "In our clan, if you have black fur, you're all but guaranteed to be a Noćnivuk."

"Dude, you can use magic?" Dean looked at Cas in awe.

Cas shook his head. "While I can, it's not what one would ever compare to a witch level of skill and training."

"You selling yourself short, Cas?"

"He's not exactly wrong, Dean. Castiel's magic is not like yours, but special in its own way." Amara clarified. "It's why he's our Den Protector."

"Part of why." Cas let go of Dean's hands and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm like a focus, for the Pack. They can - for lack of a better word - leech magic off of me when they're about to run out."

"So, like a conduit?" Dean offered.

"That's actually a pretty good comparison, Dean." Gabe finally spoke up after sitting quietly for a while. "It might also be one of the reasons why I give you a rough time. You see, Noćnivuk reach out for other magic users. Their power calls out for power. You can't give power if you don't have it or take it from somewhere."

"So, Cas can pull from my magic when we're together?" Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't understand what that has to do with our bond."

"Your magic is incredibly strong, Dean. I can feel it calling out to Castiel like Castiel's is calling to you. Even if you never healed him, the bond would have formed naturally. What you two have between you is profound and rare." Amara smiled at Cas, who looked down at his feet in response. "If you don't mind, Dean, Gabriel wanted to talk to you more about your father. There are some words I need to have with my nephew."

Dean cupped Cas' cheek before exiting the room behind Gabe. The small gesture sent a warm feeling through Cas' chest.

"Castiel?"

"Yes, Aunt Amara?" Cas looked up from the floor.

She tapped the side of her nose. "You're nervous."

"Dean was worried all this time about forcing the bond on me, and here I am, and I would have forced a bond on him eventually." Cas walked over and sat next to Amara.

"Castiel. Do you regret how much you've come to know Dean? How much you've let this grow between you?"

"Of course not. Dean has given me a choice every step of the way. But I can't help but feel like this is spiraling so quickly. We're moving at the speed of light when we both said we wanted to go slow." Cas rested his head in his hands, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"The bond of a Noćnivuk and their partner is life long, sweet pup. The creation of the bond is rough, and it hurts, and there are growing pains. But at the same time, it is swift, it is sweet, and it is thorough." Amara gently rubbed Cas' back. "In the case of you and Dean, when he opened his bond to heal you, I doubt he knew that he was inviting your magic in."

"Great. So I basically locked Dean into a bond while I was sleeping." Cas scoffed. "He's going to hate me."

"Doubtful, Castiel. And as I mentioned before, you two would have drifted towards each other anyway. Certain magics call out to one another. Would it be as swift and quick like it has been?" Amara shook her head. "I doubt it. But that wouldn't be you, and I don't think that would be Dean."

Cas chuckled at that. "Are you saying that I move fast?"

"I'm saying that your heart knows what it wants, Castiel." Amara smiled softly before standing up. "Do not let your cousin's death be in vain. Survive, Castiel. Live and love."

"You make it sound so easy. Inias shouldn't have been there." Cas frowned. "He came running after me because he knew that I went running after you."

"All the more reason to honor his sacrifice." Amara walked towards the archway connecting to the room where Inias was still laid out for respect.

Cas waited until his Aunt left the room before standing up himself. Taking a sniff of the stale bunker air, he found Dean's scent and headed in that direction. He turned down the hallway, stopping in what Gabriel had gotten converted or fixed up into living quarters. Continuing down, he stopped in front of a room filled with several bunk beds. On one, Anna sat, sobbing into Dean's shoulder, their backs to the door.

"You know, I know you think I hate him." Gabe's voice caused Cas to jump in place. "But he is a good person."

"You admitted that you're the one that's constantly giving him shit, Gabe." Cas rolled his eyes and leaned on the doorframe. "Do you believe all of what Aunt Amara said?"

"I believe you have the opportunity that others only dream of. It's not unheard of, but it's rare. And the fact that it's attached to someone that good looking?" Gabe mocked a chef's kiss before turning serious. "In all seriousness, I get your fears."

"Say this situation was you and Meg, instead of me and Dean." Cas crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you really understand my fear?"

"Meg and I are not an apt comparison."

"Humor me." Cas rested his head against the door frame as he continued to watch Anna and Dean, only catching brief parts of their conversation.

Gabe let out a sigh. "Meg and I are like Mentos and Diet Cola. Mix us together, and it's explosive in all the right ways."

"And messy and gross afterward?"

"No. Maybe. Stop, you're knocking me off my train of thought." Gabe paused. "But, just like Diet Coke and Mentos, we're boring as separate people."

Cas rolled his head to the side and looked at Gabe. "I disagree, but continue."

"If it weren't for Naomi arranging for us to get together, it wouldn't have happened. Not naturally. She wouldn't have looked at me twice, and I never would have thought I stood a chance. Our chemistry was forced together, but it ended up working out for the best." Gabe poked Cas' cheek and turned his head back towards Dean. "Your chemistry is natural and flowing freely. But it almost seems like you're fighting it. Let it happen, Cassie."

"Is it natural if it's jumpstarted?" Cas questioned as Dean gave Anna a bear hug.

"Yeah. Just because it's moving a little faster than you anticipated doesn't make it any less natural." Gabe hesitated before speaking again. "You know, he does fit nicely into the pack dynamics, even if he isn't a wolf." Their sister stood and walked towards them. "Go get'em, tiger." Gabe clapped Cas on the shoulder before holding his arm out for Anna.

Cas turned his attention back into the room and watched as Dean got to his feet and stretched. He felt like a creeper and prepared to walk away when Dean turned around, and their eyes met. "Cas."

"Hello, Dean." Cas pushed himself off the doorframe just in time to be enveloped in Dean's arms. "What's going on?"

"I know you can close off our connection, but I don't know how to do the same." Dean pulled back enough to look into Cas' eyes. "I could feel your emotions, mostly of fear and anxiety. And I knew it was because of me."

"Can I explain?"

Dean shook his head. "You don't have to. All I feel right now is the amount of relief flowing from you."

"But, you were worried." Cas cupped Dean's face, stroking his thumb over the apples of Dean's cheeks. "I'm sorry I did that to you." Cas surprised himself by leaning back in and kissing Dean again. He was even more surprised - pleasantly so - when Dean deepened the kiss.

He didn't know or cared who stopped the kiss, but Cas found himself wanting more, chasing after Dean's lips.

"Cas." Dean moved his head to the side and kissed Cas' cheek. "If we keep this up, we're going to do something very private in a not so private area." Dean carded his fingers through Cas' hair, and Cas was briefly reminded of Dean stroking his fur while in wolf form. "And it's probably not a good time to do this."

"I don't understand." Cas tilted his head, frowning. "Do you not want me?"

Dean laughed heartedly, and Cas relaxed a little. "That's the furthest thing from the truth, Cas." He rested their foreheads together. "I want our first time to be us. On our terms, in one of our beds. Not a quick fuck out of horniness and desperation in your safe house."

"Fair enough." Cas readjusted and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' neck. "We continue to let us grow, we keep nurturing what we have, and when we're past all this..." Cas stole another kiss. "We find time for us."

"Sounds like a plan, Cas. I–" Dean's phone rang, causing Dean to jump in surprise. "I guess I have signal here." He pulled it out and smiled. "Hey Sam, what's the news?" Cas listened to the warbling of Sam coming through the earpiece. With each phrase, Dean's smile turned into a frown.

"Dean?" Cas lightly squeezed Dean's sides, hoping to provide him some comfort.

"Sammy, I'm with Cas. I'm going stop you where you're at and put you on speakerphone, so you don't have to repeat everything twice." Dean pulled the phone away from his ear and held out the phone between them. "Okay Sam, go ahead."

"Alright, so what I've already said. Jody and Donna haven't found our father yet. What they have found is the trail he's leaving behind." Cas perked up at Sam's words and looked at Dean. "He's using his skills from his stint in the military, and his time at war, to stay hidden. John's doing a good job of making himself scarce, and he's constantly staying at least one step in front of them."

"Basically, he knows that the permit's been voided," Dean commented, and Sam confirmed with a hum.

"Sam, you said he's left a trail?" Cas asked, holding his breath, as he hoped it wasn't what Cas thought Sam meant.

"Besides Inias, he's killed a human officer, a vampire, and a vetala. Which will end up killing another vetala as they were a mated pair. At each scene, he's left the same, exact message." Sam's voice was trembling, and Dean lost all color from his face.

"What's the message, Sammy?" Dean moved the phone out to the side as Cas pulled him back into a tight embrace.

Sam's swallow was audible. "The long and short of it? The Old Man is here on a job, and he's staying until the job is finished. He's been offered a large amount by one Naomi Novak, and he intends on collecting it. John is demanding the children of Naomi Novak, or he's going to continue to take out innocent people until he finds them."

Cas' knees went out from under him, and he barely registered Dean calling his name or calling out for Gabe and Anna.

The world spun around him. And then it was dark.

[shirtlesssammy]

13x19: Funeralia

Then:

Rowena’s back and better than ever (and so is Billie)(and so is Gabriel)(Asmodeus, not so much)

Now:

In Portland, Oregon, our favorite witch Rowena gets a call from the three musketeers Team Free Will. 

They need her help with Michael. She takes the time to compliment the cutest angel in the universe, but can’t be bothered with assisting further. She’s at a party, and has things to do. Namely: dance the tango and set a woman on fire.

Later, in the bunker’s kitchen (Dean’s comfort zone and Cas’s comfort zone!...still a table between them though), Dean and Cas try to brainstorm ideas for tracking Gabriel that doesn’t require Rowena.

Dean needs a beer to get the brain juices flowing, and despite Cas’s quick decline, he gets him one too. #goodhusband Cas comes up with asking the angels for help.

*Boris Determined Soon-to-be Classic Dialog Alert*

Cas: This would be something of a Hail Mary

Dean: Hmm

Cas: It’s a sport’s term, like slam dunk or ball handler

Dean: That’s uh, mm...I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Ah, they’re really talking here, discussing angels, Donatello, and being on the same page but approaching things from different perspectives. Interrupting Sam interrupts so I guess the rest of the episode won’t be domestic Dean and Cas chatting over a beer. Missed opportunity, I’d say.

Sam reports on Rowena’s recent activity. Dean gets testy with him about helping her and now Sam’s got to make things right. He then tells Cas that he can contact the angels, but adds, “don’t get dead again.” Guh, he couldn’t look at him until he said those words. He doesn’t like what Cas wants to try, but only makes eye contact when he really wants to make that last point clear. #worriedhusbandisworried

Cas heads to the playground and finds Indra, one slightly inebriated angelic guard.

Indra doesn’t really have any fight left in him. “If you want to say we fought and angel blade me right now, that’d be ok.” “Is that a joke?” Cas implores. Nope. Things are bad in angel land.

Cas finds the throne room empty. Duma and Co. arrive. He tells them about Gabriel and Michael and Jack and Lucifer. (But she says nothing back about Lucifer --and where the heck is he anyway?) The lights power up and down, and Duma tells Cas that they can probably help each other.

On the road, Sam can’t get a hold of Rowena. And then Jessica the reaper pops into the back seat. She’s apparently been keeping an eye on the brothers. She also points out that Dean hasn’t spilled about his time chilling with her in the veil. Jessica is here to help them with Rowena. She’s already killed four people before their time, and she needs to be stopped.

Omg, Rowena has a picture of Fergus on her desk. She also has limited patience with the Brothers Winchester. They keep calling, and soon they’ll find her. She reminds Bernard that she’s capable of anything now.

At the scene of “spontaneous combustion”, Sam reads about the victim. She wasn’t necessarily a good human. They look at the ashes and see another marking --the remnants of a reaper.

Dean calls for Jessica. Yep, it seems that Rowena is really going after reapers. She also talks about Ashton’s second best movie the butterfly effect. (Sidenote: Just look at Dean’s growth here. In season 6, he made it clear there would be no Kutcher references, and now he’s ranking his movies? Dean Bean.) Anyway, she talks about fate, death, and the cataclysmic repercussions of people dying before their time. (Uh, this is the opposite of saving everyone on the Titanic. I need to rewatch “My Heart Will Go On” --do they remember that other timeline at the end?) Jessica tells Sam that he is the one that will kill Rowena (NOOOOOO!!!)

*Cute Montage Alert*

Cas waits in heaven and I just want to squish this ferocious wavelength of celestial intent.

Duma finally comes back, and she brought a friend: Naomi! WoooOOOoooh. (Sidenote: another flashback to a previous episode.) She tells Cas, “it’s not that we won’t help you, it’s that we can’t.”

On the road, Sam finds another possible victim, and Jessica pops in to inform the boys that he’s dying as they speak. He’s bleeding out in his backyard. Rowena is there to scan the yard for a reaper, and finds him. She wants to have a chat with Death, but Billie does not negotiate with witches. And the man and reaper go up in flames.

Velvet pants swoon.

When Sam, Dean, and Jessica find the torched body Rowena calls them and suggests a chat in person. Rowena plans to try to convince them to stop pursuing her...or be stopped in turn. Dun dun dun.

Back with Castiel, he faces the torturer that made him do this:

While we love seeing Naomi again (I love Amanda Tapping), I also remember her as someone who really fucked Cas over. He remembers her this way as well. He's still angry with her for stealing his memories, threatening him, and making him repeatedly act out Dean's murder. Naomi shrugs. “Those were simpler times.” She doesn't apologize.

Naomi was hiding out until recently when the Heavenly power grid went down. We learn that angels power Heaven like batteries storing power. And now there are just nine angels left in Heaven, including Castiel. DAMN, ya'll. Naomi tells him that angels can't help Cas find Gabriel because no angels can leave or risk the ruin of Heaven. If the power grid falters, Heaven will crumble and everyone who's been living in Heaven will plummet to Earth and get their haunt on. That's...not good at all.

(Boris: My heart breaks a little for how affected Cas is on hearing the angel news. And is Anael in heaven? I presume that Lucifer can come and go as he pleases since he has his wings still. Will heaven remain closed for the foreseeable future - this season?)

Rowena settles in for drinks with Dean and Sam. She tells them she's only targeting bad people who've been responsible for the death of thousands. But Sam brings up that she's still killing reapers so the whole vigilante schtick doesn't ring true. She tells them that she's killing reapers to try and get Death's attention so she can get Fergus (Crowley) back. She blames his death (and presumably everything – his damned soul, his ascent to the throne of Hell) on her decision to leave him when he was a boy. Oh, Rowena. My heart kind of breaks for you.

“Are only Winchesters allowed to come back from the dead?” Rowena asks them acidly before she tells them she's going to continue her mission. Dean decides to tell her that Sam's responsible for her death which is...a lot. It's a threat. It's a promise, a warning. It's a hell of a lot to put on both Sam and Rowena. Sam's not ready to kill her though and tries to cuff her instead. She grins and fades out. She was astral projecting! Nice work. Rowena waves at them from the door and heads out of the bar at top speed.

Dean and Sam give chase when Dean gets closelined by Rowena's lackey.

They have a great drag-down fight featuring harsh moves, hotel props, and two blasé people riding an elevator.

Outside, Sam corners Rowena in the alley. He tells her to stop messing with the “machinery of the universe” and when she tells him she won't stop, he shoots. (Like. Sam. Pot, kettle much?) Rowena freezes the bullet. She's shocked that he would have shot her and puts him to sleep.

Jessica the reaper shows up while Dean continues to fight. She tells him to hurry which...thanks Jessica. Super helpful. When Dean finally defeats him, Jessica gives Dean reluctant props while Dean heads out to find Sam. He finds Sam's gun in the alley.

Pretty shot alert

Cut to Sam tied up in Rowena's room. He tells her the increased magic in her system has made her crazy but Rowena counters with a different story. She has new clarity. All she'd done for money or power was meaningless, ultimately. Everyone she loved – Oscar and Fergus – are lost to her. She wants to redeem herself somehow. (I have to say of the two redemption arcs – Ketch versus Rowena – I definitely believe Rowena's to be more genuine.) Anyway, since Sam's destined to kill her then she should kill him first. She rips his shirt open.

Rowena apologizes but still slams killing power into Sam. Death shows up and Rowena recognizes her from that one time they worked together to harness a ton of souls. “If we'd just exchanged numbers,” Rowena notes, “none of this would have been necessary.” Billie warns her off her risky scheme and tells her she doesn't do blackmail. If she kills Sam, nobody's gonna be happy in the future, but it's Rowena's choice. And Crowley is staying dead.

Sam begs for his life and Rowena turns at the last minute and blasts Billie instead. Billie, mid-attack, just hangs out casually. No big. (Though notice she didn't bring her scythe with her tonight. Probably a smart choice.)

Billie bends down and she and Rowena have a heart to heart. Rowena breaks down. “I don't know what I'm doing,” she confesses.

“Sometimes life isn't fair,” Billie tells her. “And sometimes we lose things. And sometimes we make mistakes. And some of these things can never be fixed, no matter how powerful you become. Some things just are.” She won't kill Rowena.

Billie greets Dean as he breaks down the door, Jessica in tow. “See you again soon,” she says to Dean before flapping out. Yikes. Ominous.

Outside the Heavenly sandbox, Cas continues to be a total angel and holds a very civil conversation with Naomi. She'll stay in Heaven to protect the grid and wishes him luck on his quest to find Gabriel. The gates of Heaven are closed. After she leaves, Cas grabs a handful of sand from the sandbox that is now just a sandbox. He looks despairing over Heaven's fate.

Rowena, Sam, and Dean touch base. “What have I done?” Rowena asks. Sam tells her that what happened with Crowley wasn't her fault. “Every one of us has done something we have to live with. That we're trying to make up for,” Dean tells her. Sam tells her they may need her help to save the world. No pressure, as always.

Sam tells her Lucifer is back. “I'm horrified and scared and my heart may have stopped but...Lucifer isn't the one who's going to kill me, is he?” Rowena returns. Sam vows to change her fate.

Quoternalia:

Hello, boys.

I'm surprised you recognize the sound of a party since you're all work and no play.

You know, she’s right. You never go to parties.

You were “handling it”

Death doesn't negotiate with witches.

She's powerful. She's gorgeous. And she's paying me a small fortune. That woman didn't have to cast a spell on me.

Everything ends.

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[supernatural-firstwatch]

Season 8 Episode 23: Sacrifice

SEASON FINALE AT LAST!!! Season 8 took me forever it feels like!!! So, how is Sam going to die at the end of this season only to come back the next one? It’s his turn. Dean died/went to purgatory in the last season. And since they’ve been alternating since Season 1...

- Roderick? Why is this Jody person calling Crowley Roderick? And who is his Jody person? They’ve closed down the bar! WAIT! This is Sheriff Jody?? I can never recognize her. And there goes Crowley, prepping a hex bag for her... Oooh, what are the brothers plotting? There is no way they’re going to be going along with this. So what’s the plan???

- Ok, so they got the whole tablet back together. And Kevin is in on the plan. And Cass is still going on with the trials to close Heaven’s gates. Maybe he should check in with the brothers...? Cause, you know, closing up Heaven while Hell is still wide open may not be the best idea.

- Awh, Sam and Dean are back at Bobby’s :( Man, Crowley is really letting Dean get that close to him? Hahahahahaha. Demonic handcuffs! They used the tablets as bait to get Crowley!!! Nice. Now they just need to “cure” Crowley.

- Oh Cass. You are still SO BAD at this!!! And the angels have Metatron.

- Oh, NOW they put up devil traps. Also, where are they getting the purified blood? HAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Now I want to know what happened to Penny Markle in the sixth grade and what Dean did!!! 

- This is a bad idea. I wouldn’t leave Sam by himself with Crowley for 8 hours... Oooooo!!!! Sam injected Crowley with his blood post-confession and his arms glowed! That means he’s on the right path. Also, is he going to be able to keep this up for 8 hours? I mean... That’s a long way to go and his body is hurtling toward the cliff face. 

- You know, forcing Kevin to translate the tablet is going to blow up in your face. You’re acting a lot like the demons.

- URGH! WHAT IS CROWLEY UP TO BITING SAM??? And then not saying anything!!! Oooh, he’s gonna use his blood to communicate. Smart. Dean better get back to Sam cause he’s gonna need help.

- GAIL IS CUPID!!! AND IS SETTING THE TWO GUYS UP!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! LOVE IT!!!!! DEAN’S FACE!!!! 

- Oh, Sam looks so bad. He should call Dean. He won’t, but he should. I don’t know that Sam can physically do this by himself. And there’s Abbadon!!! I had a feeling we’d be seeing her again soon. HAHAHA!!! Crowley is hilarious if he thinks Abbadon is going to help him. She was horrified when she learned he was the King of Hell. Pretty sure she might just try to kill him instead. And Sam’s unconscious. HAHAHAHA!!! “You and I are going to talk about a little regime change.” Yep. Saw that one coming a mile away. 

- WOAH! Sam just set her one FIRE!! There she goes!!! Bye bye Abbadon! Go forth and find yourself a new host! And then come back to kick some more ass? HAHAHAH!!! “You did good back there, Moose. I’ll deny it if you ever quote me, but I’m a proud man. I’m proud of you.” You’re so full of shit, Crowley. You’re just glad Abbadon didn’t kill you. Except that Sam wants to cure you. HAHAHAHA!!!!!! “We just shared a fox hole, you and I!” WHAT??? “I deserve to be loved!” WHAT??? I love how Sam has the same expression we’re all sporting right now. Clearly it’s working. 

- Man, Sam looks like shit. Crowley wants to know where does he start with a confession? “Where do I start to even look for forgiveness?”

- I KNEW METATRON WAS A LYING LITTLE BASTARD!!! What is he trying to pull??? He’s trying to cast out the angels from Heaven?? “Our mission was to protect what God created. I don’t know when we forgot that.” You failed at your mission. You did a bang-up job at trying to destroy it.

- Wah wah!!! Is Dean going to stop the trial??? 

- MEEEEEP!!!!! Naomi got her needle jammed into the back of her head. Bye Amanda Tapping! I’ve loved seeing you again! Naomi would be in Slythering. Actually, most of the angels would be in Slytherin. Except Cass. Cass... That’s a good question. I’m not sure. Maybe Gryffindor? And now Metatron is holding a knife to Cass’s throat. 

- Oh, Sam. “You finish these trials, you’re dead Sam.”’ “So?” ARE YOU SERIOUS, SAM??? What about your whole speech of you wanting to live because you see a light at the end of the tunnel and you’re going to take Dean with you??? You can’t just be like “So?” !!!!!!

- And Cass is back on the chair. OH MAN!!! METATRON TOOK HIS GRACE!!! AND SENT HIM BACK TO EARTH!!! 

- OMG I’m going to cry... Sam. Sammy. THESE TWO!!! “We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can’t do it without you.” “You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?” “Come on, man. That’s not what I meant,” “No, it’s exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can’t do that again.” “Sam--” “What happens when you’ve decided I can’t be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another-- Another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just---” “Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it-- None of it-- is true. Listen man I know we’ve had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I’ve said some junk that set you back on your heels. But Sammy... Come on. I killed  Benny to save you. I’m willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you. It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I’m begging you.”  

I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE BOYS!!!!!And now Sam is likely dying anyway because of these trials!!!! And Sam can’t breathe!! And Cass doesn’t have his essence anymore!!! And it’s not like he could save Sam anyway. He said that a long time ago, that Sam was damaged in ways he couldn’t save him. 

- WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THE MEN OF LETTERS BUNKER SUDDENLY TURNING ON??? OH SHIT!!!! OH SHIT!!! THOSE ARE ALL THE ANGELS BEING CAST OUT OF HEAVEN!!!!

Well.... shit.... Is it all the angels that have fallen?? And have to live as humans?

[mittensmorgul]

I’ve been thinking about this series of tweets (compiled in this post for convenience purposes), and really wondering what prompted Yockey’s drastic name changes. The two episodes whose names changed before the final production:

12.10: Penelope Sunder Has Some Regrets

12.20: Twigs & Twine & Naomi Banes

I’m gonna start with 12.20. Naomi was set up as the “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” Bad Guy of s8. Aside from the fact that we know she’d long been in the Angel Reprogramming business (read: torture and brainwashing), she’d always honestly believed she was doing the right thing, that she was “fixing” broken angels. Throughout s8, we saw the sort of control she had over Cas, and it was similar to the sort of control the witch had over Tasha Banes in 12.20.

In the end, yet too late to save her, Naomi saw the error of her ways and tried to warn Dean and Cas about Metatron’s true plans. She died trying to stop Metatron (stabbed in the back of her head with the Angel Torture/Reprogramming Spike).

Considering the actress who played Naomi-- Amanda Tapping-- directed 12.19 (the episode before this one), maybe it felt a little too on-the-nose for that sort of flip scripting...

(yes I typed that intentionally)

Or possibly the name Naomi was just too prominent of a character to reuse. Then again, Supernatural does love reusing names. There’s also real-world legal issues using certain names. For instance, John Winchester was going to be Jack Winchester, but there was a real person by that name living in Lawrence, Kansas at the time, and the original family name from earlier drafts was Harrison and not Winchester, so there’s real-life legal reasons that names might not be approved. It’s not always meta-relevant to speculate on why they may have been changed. But I think it’s at least meta-adjacent to speculate on the intent behind the names (both the original draft names and the final aired versions). Names are important, after all.

Instead, we saw a show about Tasha Banes. The only other Tasha in Supernatural canon was Kate the Werewolf’s sister in 10.04 Paper Moon. From the Superwiki:

Tasha was involved in a bad car accident and wasn't expected to survive. After finding out from Facebook, Kate visited her to say goodbye, but turned her into a werewolf and kidnapped her from the hospital instead as she realized the powers of a werewolf could save Tasha. Unlike Kate, Tasha embraced being a werewolf and started killing, drawing Sam and Dean's attention.

So in trying to save her sister, Kate transformed her into something “monstrous,” but it had terrible consequences. There’s a lot of thematic overlap between 10.04 and 12.20... What we’re willing to do for family, what makes us who we are, life and death...

Moving on to Penelope, and 12.10. There’s never been another Penelope on Supernatural, but there has been a Penny (which could be short for Penelope). Penny Dessertine was the girl in 6.12 Like A Virgin who was kidnapped from her boyfriend’s airplane by dragons. As Dean so eloquently delivered it, in Penny’s words:

It’s never confirmed, but we’re led to assume that Penny survived the events of 6.12, escaping with the other girls Sam and Dean freed from the cage in the sewers. Let’s collectively hope she found a nicer guy than Stan to give her most precious gift to...

I’m wondering also if Penelope was somehow a reference to the (long-suffering yet notoriously faithful) wife of Odysseus.

Moving on to Lily... (and skipping Lilith because reasons, and Lillian O’Grady who was the hunter who raised Eileen Leahy because assuming she never went by Lily), there have been three other characters named Lily on the show.

Our first Lily was Lily Shoemaker in 1.05 Bloody Mary. She’s the innocent little girl who was dared to say Bloody Mary in the mirror, kicking off all the events of the episode when Mary kills her father.

Our next Lily is Lily Baker, one of the “Special Children” in 2.21. She was resentful of her special “gift,” because her touch was deadly. She’d accidentally killed her girlfriend, and wanted nothing to do with her powers.

Finally we have Lily Markham, from 11.04 Baby, who’d been turned by Deputy Donelly into a nachzehrer, killed her husband and turned her children before attacking Dean, stealing Baby, and is finally returned to her human state and reunited with her children when Dean kills the deputy.

So those are our collected Lilies. :P

But perhaps Lily Sunder was named for the flower:

While white lilies symbolize chastity and virtue – and were the symbol of the Virgin Mary’s purity and her role of Queen of the Angels – as other varieties became popular, they brought with them additional meanings and symbolism as well. Peruvian lilies, or alstroemeria, represent friendship and devotion, white stargazer lilies express sympathy and pink stargazer lilies represent wealth and prosperity. Symbolizing humility and devotion, lilies are the 30th anniversary flower - while lilies of the valley are the 2nd wedding anniversary flower.

As the flowers most often associated with funerals, lilies symbolize that the soul of the departed has received restored innocence after death.

[bibliophileiz]

Overdue thoughts on “Jack in the Box”

Notes and stuff

The first scene is weird. Some of the shots are bizarre, I don’t understand what John’s journal is doing on the table and Bobby splitting the random dude’s head with a hatchet doesn’t jive with the tone at all. (Especially since we don’t find out the random dude’s actually a wraith until after the title card.)

-“Mom, you weren’t here long enough.” Amen. (#stillbitteraboutmary) 

- I am glad Bobby’s checking in on Sam, considering they had those issues at the beginning of the season.

- Also, random thought, but I’m so glad Ketch isn’t in this episode. (On the other hand, maybe if he’d shown up at Mary’s memorial, Dean would have killed him, which could have been fun.)

- Bobby doesn’t give Cas a beer. Rude. 

- “An unstoppable monster who don’t know right from wrong needs to be put down, or the closest there is to it. And anyone who doesn’t know that needs to go back to school.” To be fair, that’s how they’ve operated in every other season of this show.

- Bucklemming’s suckage at writing dialogue is always temporarily suspended whenever they need to write a scene where Jack is sitting sadly on a box outside in a back alley. This is also the only scene in this episode where Jack is actually in character.

-  And to absolutely no one’s surprise, the best scene in the episode is the one where Dean is sitting by himself crying in the woods. I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that it’s the only scene with no dialogue.

Actually the first part of this episode isn’t bad. I’m feeling less bitter about Bobby on the second watch, can kind of see what the point of having him in this episode is. 

Dumah stuff: On the one hand, I’m wondering if they just couldn’t get Amanda Tapping for this episode. On the other hand, I don’t know that Naomi would have done any of the shitty stuff Dumah does in this ep. (which is fine because I’d rather have Naomi alive for season 15 and not stabbed by Cas) The good plot answer to these musings is that Dumah arranged for Naomi to go in a cell so she could gain control of Heaven and enact her evil plans (see manipulating Jack into making new angels). The bad plot answer would be that neither bucklemming nor any of the angels thought through the ramifications of imprisoning their leader when there are only like 8 angels left, Heaven is falling apart and the Empty has demonstrated a willingness to invade whenever the fuck it feels like it. It also brings up an issue Cas and Jack discussed earlier this season where Cas assured Jack that Naomi takes care of the souls in her charge. Obviously that’s not the case with Dumah (see her threats against John and Mary).

- Possible bad dialogue alert: It’s not exactly clear what Cas is asking Dumah to do in the scene where he first shows up in Heaven and fills her in on what’s going on, and I don’t know if that’s intentional or not?

On the one hand I kind of like Dumah as an evil leader/antagonist of Naomi, but on the other hand her grooming of Jack feels a little reactive. Maybe she just didn’t want to risk trying to get him on her team while he was so close with the Winchesters.

Dumah and Jack stuff:

Dumah’s “Think how happy that would make Sam and Dean” if he saved the world and Heaven is obviously there to demonstrate that Jack just wants to please the Winchesters, but here’s the thing. Losing your soul might make you sociopathic and unsympathetic, but never in this show has it made someone stupid. So why would Jack, who has spent his entire life around Dean “God writes paperback books in his underwear and other blasphemies I say” Winchester, think Sam, Dean and Cas would be happy if he went around turning atheists into salt? They are literally “Team Free Will.” It makes no sense for Jack to think this is what they would want.

- Cas said he was “promised every effort” from Heaven in helping find Jack, but that DEFINITELY wasn’t in the scene. Didn’t Dumah say, “I’ll see what I can do”??? I don’t think Cas is supposed to be lying to the Winchesters here, I think bucklemming are just shitty writers without any editors.

- “Sam and Dean will like that?” “Words can’t begin to express how Sam and Dean will feel.” I’m starting to like Dumah.

To be fair, making more angels is exactly what Dumah’s been wanting since she was first introduced. Her trying to get Jack to make more of them makes a LOT more sense than Jack intentionally killing “bad” people, at least one of whom the Winchesters wouldn’t consider particularly bad.

Church scene:

Oh God. This scene is even weirder than the opening scene with Mary’s memorial. It’s anti-climactic and badly acted and doesn’t have any of the tension and suspense that the really good angel scenes tend to have in this show. The people in the congregation should be freaking out -- they should jump out of their seats, a couple of them should run for the back of the church doors and be locked in so Jack can demonstrate his powers. There should be lightbulbs bursting and doors rattling on their hinges. Surely that would have been cheaper than the stupid pillar of salt scene? Even without all that, the congregation should still actually be reacting to Jack’s glowing eyes or his wings. Instead they’re all sitting there going, “Ooh!” One of them has her hand over her mouth, which is like the epitome of good acting this scene. I’ve seen characters on this show have stronger reactions to Dean’s car. It feels like the director just got a bunch of extras in a room and told them to look surprised and then just went with the first take because he wanted to go eat lunch or something. It feels lazy.

- Does this woman praying remind anyone of, like, a really nervous but happy Chihuahua?

- Her acting is exceptionally bad, all blank-faced, “Who are you?”

- Preacher man is the only person in this episode with any common sense: “It’s not that I don’t believe, I just don’t believe you.” That’s actually how I, as a Christian, approach many people claiming to know God’s will.

I guess the people in the congregation are supposed to be blank-faced once Jack actually starts using his powers on them, but that still doesn’t excuse the beginning of this scene. There’s simply not enough difference in their manners for the audience to realize they’re being affected by angel magic.

Some other notes on this part of the episdoe: 

- Jensen Ackles’ facial expressions and acting in the hospital are really good, because you can tell he’s trying not to show how freaked out he is. I feel like Cas should be more freaked out though.

- Aw, why did you have to show me another worm??

- The scene between Sam and Dean is really drawn-out and badly written, but J2 are doing their best, God love them.

- “If I do it after what happened to Mom, I could lose it. I will lose it.” So would I, probably. (#stillbitterabout ... well, you get the picture.)

- Aramael has a deliciously pleasant voice, and I hope this actor comes back so I can listen to him more.

- “I am going to Heaven.” “That’s what everyone thinks.” L.O.L.

- Dumah cracks me up this scene. *high-pitched voice* “Castiel! Look, I found Jack!” She’s obviously not so secure in either her power over Heaven or her hold over Jack that she’s not still scared of Cas.

- This is the scene where you can see what Cas should have done, and what he doesn’t do, and what the consequences are going to be. Because instead of saying, “Jack, come with me,” which would have resulted in Jack immediately going to him, he asks to talk to Dumah, leaving Jack alone.

- Even with the long take, you can kind of see Cas sag a little after killing Dumah. Poor baby, keeps having to kill his murderous, evil siblings.

That scene (you know the one I’m talking about):

On second watch, it’s not bad, but I feel like it would be a lot better if it were written by Meredith Glynn. I feel like the dialogue is really trying to create tension, but since the dialogue hasn’t, up to this point in the episode, done anything to sell us on any of the emotion that would make this episode tense, it’s really lacking and comes across as overly drawn-out and soap opera-y. I mean, this is the moment where Dean lets his lesser demons control his judgment and lies to the boy he spent episodes trying to save earlier this season. This is the scene where Sam is basically giving up on the kid he loved as a son and who he was determined to raise to use his powers for good.  And they both think they’re doing the right thing here, plus the more Jack talks about his killing Mary as “the accident” and the more it comes across that he can’t understand how badly her death has hurt them, the angrier they get. But I feel like the dialogue doesn’t get this across as well as it could.

- “I make angels.” If that was all you did, this episode would be a lot better.

-  “Jack, we got this.” That line almost works to make this scene as tragic as it needs to be.

Again, the dialogue and the blocking and just the directing of the scene is not really working for me, but damned if Jared and Jensen aren’t giving it everything they can.

The part that sets up the season finale

- So how long is Jack supposed to have been in there? It can’t be that long because when he asks if they’re still there, they’re bolting the door.

- This would be a nightmare long-term though. Can you imagine them walking past that bolted door for days, weeks, hearing Jack call their names, ask if they’re there, if they’ll let him out please, getting more desperate and panicky the longer he’s there?

- Actually, that episode would have been way better than this one.

- “He agreed to it, because deep down, he knows it’s best.” Ooh, Dean, buddy, it’s not that don’t see your side -- heck, I’m kind of on your side -- but you know Jack didn’t get the truth from you and you’re changing the story to alleviate some of your guilt over it.

- I’m actually really upset Jack broke out of the ma’lak box. Way to make yet another of Billie’s predictions not come true, show.

Final thoughts

Overall there was way to much time given over to things that weren’t quite as important and didn’t work as well, which took away from the emotional tension that this episode SHOULD have had.     For example, it doesn’t make much sense for Jack to believe that Sam and Dean would want him to kill people who rebel against Heaven. I mean -- they rebelled against Heaven. And it’s not like Jack doesn’t know their relationship with Heaven and all that it stands for is complicated because one, these people raised him, and two, they’ve said all kinds of things over the episodes to him that demonstrate that relationship, from Dean being resentful toward God about leaving “guys like us to clean up his messes, like Lucifer” to Cas saying, “In Heaven, good is a relative term.” And Jack obviously knows that they wouldn’t want him killing people because they’ve had talks before about when is the right time to kill humans. (Remember Jack saying, “Anyone who would do this is a monster” when they were musing that Noah may have been a regular guy.)      It’s not that I think Jack should have realized it was wrong to kill the first two people he killed -- he’s lost his soul and his ability to empathize -- but he should have realized it was something the Winchesters wouldn’t have wanted, because losing your soul shouldn’t make you stupid. In all the other cases of soulless characters, they’ve been manipulative and pragmatic -- something Jack has ALWAYS been. So why would that change the minute he loses his soul?     It makes a lot more sense for him to take humans and make them angels, though. It’s less like Godstiel from Season 7 (or 6? I can’t remember. The Gamble era is not my thing.) and more like Buddy Boyle in Season 9. It’s still wrong because people are dying, and even though they’re consenting to being turned into angels, like the people Buddy Boyle recruited consented to being possessed by angels, they still don’t really understand what they’re consenting to. But it’s also something soulless Jack can justify because he KNOWS Heaven’s in trouble, so what’s a few human lives for the greater good of protecting Heaven and all the souls in it?     The episode still works if Jack is scooping up churchgoers and taking them to Heaven, killing them. He’s still dangerous in that case. Plus if you have that instead of the pillar of salt, you’ve got more time to really focus on the emotion behind what Cas and the Winchesters are going through.      Also, I don’t think this episode was very well directed? There were some weird shots, the blocking felt awkward and everything seemed to move really slowly. There were some good nuggets of dialogue, but generally everything but the acting from our mains (including Dumah, who I adore!) came across as lazy and uninspired.     I have further thoughts on Jack’s villain arc as a whole that I’ll work out and post tomorrow, plus some thoughts about what Mary’s death means for the end of the show. There’s still a small small chance she could come back tonight, though, so I’ll hold off on that one.

[supernatural-firstwatch]

Season 8 Episode 19: Taxi Driver

- Ooops. Crowley is in Kevin’s head and making him hallucinate losing limbs and breaking bones? Oh boy... The second trial is to get a soul out of Hell and deliver it back to Heaven?? But if it’s in Hell, will Heaven even accept it?? How does that even work?? And how do you even pick which soul? And how would you get that past Crowley??

- Haha! Rogue reapers. More like Charon from the River Styx than coyotes, Sam. WELL!!!!! We know what soul they’re gong to be saving now!!! Bobby’s in Hell?? I’m sure Crowley is overjoyed to have his company. 

- Who’s the creepster who saw the whole interaction? 

- Uh... That’s Purgatory. We are intimately acquainted with it from Dean’s flashbacks. Why did Ajay take Sam to purgatory??? HAHAHAHA!!!! “A back door to hell. Trust me, it will work.” “Wait, so you’re not coming with me?” “*Ajay chuckles* Don’t be ridiculous. Smuggling a mortal across the border is risky enough. But gate-crashing a Winchester into Hell seriously blows.” LOL!!! Love it. so Sam has 24 hours to get through purgatory and into Hell, get Bobby, and get out and back to where Ajay is dropping him off. Awesome. Well, Sam will get a small inkling of what Dean went through the past year.  

- Poor Kevin. He’s totally losing it. HAHAHAHA!!! Kevin took him pie. Probably out of spite. That’s what happens when you tell people to buck up instead of being sympathetic, Dean. You lose your pie. 

- MEEP!!!! CROWLEY IS IN AJAY’S CAR! NO GOOD!!! SAM IS STILL IN PURGATORY/HELL!!! Was creepster a demon spying for Crowley?? Aaaaand Ajay is dead... So how is Sam going to get out of this one...?!

- I wonder if Sam is going to get flashbacks from being in the Cage. Although I imagine that was very different from being in Hell. LOL! Sam putting his watch where the back door is located. So, if Crowley knows Sam is down there, does he have demons looking for him? Also, I thought Crowley had reorganized Hell so that it was just one endless line. Did he redecorate again?

- YAY! SAM FOUND BOBBY!! LOOOOL!!! BOBBY PUNCHED HIM CAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS A DEMON!!! BUT SAM PROVED IT WAS HIM BECAUSE OF TORI SPELLING AND BOBBY’S PEDICURE’S AT THE MALL OF AMERICA! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!

- Huh. Crowley hasn’t figure it out yet. Winchester jumbo size. Man, I LOVE all the new ways they find to make fun of Jared’s height. 

- Oh, hi Naomi. Dean will likely try to kill you now. You know, Amanda Tapping looks much better as a brunette than a blonde. Well shit now. Dean just found out that Sam’s going through Purgatory. Of course, that is the LEAST of your problems now! Cause Ajay is FUCKING DEAD! So who the fuck is going to get Sam and Bobby out of Purgatory?? Tessa?

- HAHAHAHA!!! Oh Bobby. He stabbed the closest Sam and took the 50/50 chance. LOL! Sam’s face. I have missed Bobby :(

- And Dean just found Ajay dead in his taxi. Ooops!!! Now what? 

- HAHAHA! “What is this place?” “Don’t get all pissed off. Purgatory.” “Balls!” 

- Ah, Benny. 

- “Well, I guess if there has to be an eternity, I’d pick heaven over hell.” “Yeah. ‘Cause there’s nothing screwy going on up there.” LOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!

- Oh. Wow. Benny is going to let Dean behead him so he can get to Purgatory and show Sam the way out?? Are you serious?? Awh, poor Benny. He’s finding out he doesn’t belong on Earth anymore, with humans or with Vamps. He’s a drifter, with no family or ties to anyone or anything. Oh Dean, pretty sure Benny will not be coming back topside. He doesn’t seem like he wants to come back. Man, Jensen Ackles is such an amazing actor. 

- Hah! Bobby riding on Sam cause he didn’t try to get Dean out of Purgatory. Sam had NO IDEA where Dean even was for that entire year! And there’s Benny!!! 

- Creepster demon is still there, and knows Dean was plotting something with Benny. 

- Yep. Benny wasn’t never going to try to make it back up top. 

- AWH! WINCHESTER HUG!!! THOSE ARE SO RARE!!!

- AAAAAAH!!!!!! CROWLEY YOU ASS!!!! YOU STOPPED BOBBY FROM GOING TO HEAVEN!?!?!? Where’s Naomi when you need her??? THERE SHE IS!!! I knew she’d show up. Now that Cass is (literally) in the winds, she better hope that Sam and Dean get the job done and close the gates of Hell. That’s the only way she can stop from worrying about the demons getting their hands on the Heaven tablet. LOL!!! “Don’t call me a bureaucrat.” 

- Ouch! Glowing hand is bad!!! Poor Sam...

- They killed Kevin’s mom?? And got his address off her smartphone?? Awh man. Sorry boys, you’re Kevin isn’t home anymore. Crowley’s got him now. WAIT! No he doesn’t!!! The windows are still intact! Kevin went totally 100% off the rails! And took stashed the tablet who knows where! Awh, man. Now what?!?!?!?