#like vina

[megumimania]

A silly ask and I'm kinda surprised no one has done this yet and I like your writing so I'm sending it to you but basically fem reader and toji on an episode on maury :3

WHO’S YOUR DADDY? — toji fushiguro

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem!reader

a/n: the way this has sat in the drafts for well over a year, loved writing this btw, thanks anon!

it’s no secret that toji has his doubts about whether megumi is his.

but you’re officially over going back and forth with him. especially when he still owes you child support that he refuses to pay until you show him valid proof that megumi is his son.

and what better way to give him that confirmation that he desires than on the messiest show on daytime television, in front of a live studio audience.

“for those who have joined us after the break, today we are joined by y/n, who claims that her ex boyfriend toji is pretending to act like he isn’t the father to their two year old son megumi so he doesn’t have to pay child support.”

the camera pans to you and toji sat a few feet away from each other. you can tell that he thinks this whole thing is a joke from the way he’s slouching in the chair and the constant sarcastic replies he gives maury each time he’s asked a simple question.

“maury how do i know she’s not tryna hustle me outta my hard earned money, huh?” he asks, seemingly thinking that he’s caught you in a tight spot. “besides have you seen the kid? his hair is spiky as fuck, nobody in my family has that hair type.”

the laugh that threatens to leave your lips is almost sickening, using hair as reason to not claim his child was absurd.

it was almost as wild as trying to accuse you of being a good-for-nothing money hungry vulture. which was rich coming from him. considering that your job was practically funding his lifestyle, aside from the large dose of cash he received from his 'work trips’ that cropped up once in a while.

the cash did nothing for you as he spent it as fast as he received it. rather than putting it towards megumi’s trust fund or college fund, he squandered it all on drinking and gambling, especially when it came to the races.

it turns out his charming looks and smiles do not work on the biggest gamble of all time: betting on damn race horses.

but in the rare instance he had some had some heart he contributed towards the bills and groceries. yet that still wasn’t enough.

“when was the last time you paid for megumi’s diapers or his formula or anything related to the apartment, hm?”

you retort, revelling at how all the fight and bravado he once held was slowly seeping out of him, as if he had all of his blood sucked out of him. the host looks expectantly at toji, awaiting a response.

the audience sets off in a chorus of ‘boos’ before toji even has a chance to respond to clear his name. he feels ambushed, the humiliation of admitting to be a terrible father on television creeping up on him.

but what did he expect? he always pushed too hard and now he’s paying the price as you unsurprisingly pushed back even harder.

and of course in the sea of 'boos', there’s a few cheers in the crowd from people who are more interested in getting into his pants instead of the main reason to why you were here in the first place.

“oh and maury if you think i’m lying, i’ve got invoices, bank statements and receipts spanning the last three months.” you add “i can tell you for a fact that this man doesn’t spend a dime on anything—he might as well put on a diaper and sleep in our son's crib.”

"and so what?" toji shrugs, ever so nonchalant. to the degree it pisses you off, he could at least try to act like he cares in front of the camera and the audience.

“i still make it up to you though, don’t i?” he replies, a teasing edge to his tone that has implications that you don’t want to unpack on national television, which was ironic since your business was already out there anyway.

the look on your face is almost murderous, and luckily maury manages to pick up on before this turns into a bloodbath. he quickly perks up as he holds up the manilla envelope that was going to make or break your day.

“In here we have the results of the paternity test, come back after the break!” he says clasping his hand together as you head to the commercial break. immediately you head backstage, grabbing megumi from the staff member who seemed smitten with him.

he latched onto you as you doted on him, before he waddled off to play with his firetrucks that you brought with you in your bag. “he’s getting so big.” a familiar voice says and you turn to see him in the doorway.

“megumi look! daddy’s come back with his tail between his legs because he knows he’s about to be publicly embarrassed on tv!” you say in a mocking voice, pointing out to where toji is standing and he toddles over, smacking his arm as he adorably glowers at his dad.

“bad daddy!” he says and you stop him before he gets out of control and starts to barrel toji with his kicking and slapping. you pull megumi onto your lap trying to calm him down whilst biting back a laugh.

“we don’t hit megumi, unless people deserve it like your daddy.” you tell him softly but you doubt he’s retained any of what you said anyway.

megumi is nestled into your lap, his focus back onto the firetruck that he’s playing with. for his age the kid is incredibly perceptive to the point where it spooks you out.

and if toji feels more like an idiot now, he doesn’t say so.

—

“and we’re back! for those who have just joined us, y/n claims that her ex boyfriend is denying that he’s the father of their child to avoid child support payments.”

the clips of the past half hour play back as you sit down, the manilla envelope in your eye level making your heart race slightly. deep down you knew that he was the father so why was the anticipation making you doubt that?

the crowds cheering and whooping comes to a close once maury grabs hold of the manilla envelope, he opens it, dragging out the grand reveal for dramatic purposes as the suspense builds in the room.

“when it comes to two year old megumi fushiguro, toji… you are the father!” he announces setting off the crowd in a series of cheers. you look over at toji and notice the red flush that covers his neck and ears, a sure tell sign of embarrassment and guilt.

“all i gotta say is that i fucking told you so, hell i didn’t even have to say anything you should’ve known!” you said to him, as he did nothing but take the well deserved lecture from you.

toji felt really fucking stupid, like really stupid but he didn’t want to add to your tirade already, he already wanted to melt of pure embarrassment under the hot studio lights. he really underestimated the lengths you’d go to prove him wrong.

“it’s time to start scrimping and saving, old man. food, clothes and diapers aint cheap. I’m sure your poor race horses will understand right?” you said teasingly, biting back a laugh as you clapped his shoulder.

toji let out an annoyed huff as the sound of your laughter ricocheted in his head, the high from your victory lap still present. he couldn’t be more of a fool if he tried. “haha very funny.” he said drily, despite his head burning, now he owed you and shiu money over his stupid antics.

he knew that as long as the internet and tv were still around, he was never going to live this day down, knowing you’d use this moment to embarrass him and deservedly so.

“i’ve been your host, maury! come back tomorrow where we have suguru and satoru. two former best friends and alleged lovers with satoru claiming that suguru’s affair with the kfc worker ruined their relationship!”

[feng-shui71]

Alvi and Junior reference sheets

[thegirl20]

Eve Humphrey & the Greaseballs (Al Knott, Lara Vina Uzcatia & Catherine Cornwall)

[baldrickwhethers]

[TW: Burn scars]

(unsure if it counts as graphic but it's always better to be safe than sorry)

woe, baldric face hc be upon ye 💥

he hasnt seen the sun in 15 years. the scowl dimple is permanent

Decided to do a quick lil doodle of my favourite chucklefuck and what I think he looks like under the bucket helmet! I've had this on and off headcanon that Baldric has severe burn scars (inspired by fanart that I cannot for the life of me remember who did from the NarraDecla discord), so seeing that gnarly mouth in the S3 EP20 thumbnail made me feel kind of seen lol. Jers you have once again fed us well

bonus goof:

[pagesofkenna]

i was thinking about old OCs and how I've not done much with any of them except write things I never finished, and I remembered I DO at least have a list of my old NaNoWriMo projects (which, while unpublished, are technically all finished projects) and, since I didn't want to go to the website, I decided to go to my own NaNoWriMo tag to see if I'd tagged that list of projects I definitely posted last year

anyway I didn't, but I started scrolling down my own old posts, and I discovered that the last NaNoWriMo project I essentially liveblogged was in 2013, the book was called Vina, and it's literally the only (only) one of my NaNoWriMo books that I don't still have a copy of. every other book I still have a digital file of the rough draft somewhere. Vina? probably got lost on an old computer that died. I've not been able to find her anywhere. what's it about? I cannot tell you because I do not remember. but I wrote a post in 2013 about how frustrated I was that the characters were making their own choices and driving the plot in a direction I didn't intend. this is horrifying to me

[vonlipvig]

i'm not a regular dad, i'm a Cool Dad, y'all go wild i guess

[sneebl]

i just fell in love with her all over again

[philtatosbuck]

to that one person who wrote a chapter in the longest mary/gary sue ass fic i have ever read about how marcel and damon were commiserating over both being in wars and damon outright told marcel he was a confederate and marcel was just like “i get it���. you are going to hell

[hellgiven]

.

[megumimania]

a/n: tried to write a fic and my brain short circuited so you get this instead xx , toxic eren is a lewser!! but he makes it work idk!

ex boyfriend!eren who always pretends that he was over your breakup, but had love by keyshia cole on blast for a good month

ex boyfriend!eren who claims that he never misses you but spends most of his evenings looking back at pictures and videos of you from when you were together

ex boyfriend!eren who felt an immense amount of jealousy when you popped out with a new man on your story and proceeded to stalk his profile

ex boyfriend!eren who was in a terrible mood once finding out you were dating ony

ex boyfriend!eren who somehow always manages to meddle in your situationships, talking stages, relationships dates etc.

ex boyfriend!eren who is still close and is adored by your family, so he’s always invited to family functions despite you not wanting him there

ex boyfriend!eren who doesn’t respond to your aunties questions to why he’s still single instead he just glances over to you.

ex boyfriend!eren who still sends you voicemails when he’s drunk or high begging you to take him back

“y/n its me, eren. I just wanted to let you know that I… love you so much. and i know you’ve told me we’re done about 700 times but rejection is redirection and obviously the universe is pushing us back together, so who are we to fight fate? you’re like my soulmate, so like call me back please i miss you.”

ex boyfriend!eren who always pays for your hair and nail appointments because he likes seeing you all dolled up, knowing that he paid for it.

ex boyfriend!eren who tries to make you jealous by posting him laid up with other girls on his story but you never respond

ex boyfriend!eren who knows no matter what happens you’ll eventually come back to him no matter how long it takes.

[g0atkeepermoved]

*rattles tin can* ship with this team dad.

[lenievi]

considering how much I like Kirk/most of the women he’s been with on screen, it’s weird that I feel nothing when it comes to Pike/Una. They do nothing for me as a ship and it makes me sad tbh 

I’d literally ship Una/Spock before Pike/Una and idk where I went wrong...

[baldrickwhethers]

RARHGHGHGHGHH I'VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON SEASON 3 AND IM SO MAD AND HAPPY AND RHGRHGHRGHRHGRHGH

[megumimania]

MY BABIESSS

what do you mean "alone", idiot? i was there all along

[gourde]

I get so so scared from watching scary things like it's real bad but I do it anyways. The meat snakes? I would love them as pets. But I WILL be thinking of those fucking mimics as I'm sleeping

[vonlipvig]

i speedran the hell out of that turn 8, but it was worth it cause YAY

GREAT UNIFICATION IS COMPLETE!