#like ughhhhh. im sure i'll find something to like about it. i dont think i'll hate it completely even if it ends up not being to my taste

[abyssal-ilk]

biting on my knuckle as i wait for my datv to download. it's about 40% rn and as excited as i am to play it (and i AM excited to play it), i think the "oh shit what if i don't like it." is finally setting in

[sithara-studies]

First love???

Almost a month ago

Most of the scenes happen in my school bus (so the seating arrangements' divided half for the boys and girls, you'll know later why I'm saying this) Also the friend mentioned here is @aislingisstudying, I'm just too lazy to tag her everywhere so I'm referring her as friend

me: *looks at a boy and thinks his hair is really cute* *turns towards friend* Don't you think that boy's hair looks really cute?

friend: mhm yeah it is actually cute. Do you want me to go and say it to him?

me: What the fuck no, that's really embarrassing

friend: nahh i'll go and tell

me: bruh stop it would be really embarrassing

friend: fine okay then

10 minutes later

me: you know what, go. Go and compliment him from my side

friend: okay my guts level has gone poof you should have used to the chance before

me: mhm okay whatever

20 minutes later

me: you know what, i'll go and say it to him myself. Anyway I'll leave this school in like 3 or 4 months so i'll just say

friend: fine go ahead

5 minutes later

him: *getting out of this bus*

me: Hey dude!

him: *turns back*

me: your hair looks cute!

him: *traumatized or surprised eyes under the mask and leaves the bus*

all girls around me: *surprised eyes and giggling* you okay? have you gone out of your mind?!

A week ago

so me and my friend was sitting was the end of the girls side and my guy came and sat right behind us. OKAY LIKE RIGHT BEHIND US and the mf bus conductor and tells us to sit in front of the bus. So when we sat and settled down, behind us were our friends in 12th grade-

me: DUDE WE WERE SO CLOSE AND THIS CONDUCTOR CAME AND UGHHHHH

friend: I KNOW RIGHT YOU WERE LIKE THIS CLOSE *pinches fingers*

12th graders: okay what are you guys talking about?

*me and my friend narrates the story and shows the guy*

12th graders: Ohh we know his info, his name's ***** and he's in 12th grade PCMB and like he's an introvert and he watches anime and he's from hyderabad

me: INTROVERT??!!! HYDERABAD(im also from the same place and finding a hyderabadi in my school is like finding a needle in a haystack)???!!!! SCIENCE?????!!!!!!!!!!! *excited faces, hand gestures and noises*

friend: chill okay?

me: okay you have his snap?

12th grader: I have insta but like I'll give his snap too

me: omg thank youu!!!

Today

I actually got his snap 2 days back but I had my hindi exams going on so I sent him request today. So here's the texts-

me: *goes on snap, checks his snap id and takes a screenshot to send to my bsf*

after a few minutes

him: you took ss??...

me: *me realizing that people can see screenshots* Oh im sorry I actually meant to take my friend's but took urs btw hi

him: Oh ok hi

me: Um kinda awkward but do u remember like the compliment tht u got while leaving the bus?

him: yeah I do why?

me: oh well I said that 😅

him: oh thanks ig 😂

me: oh lol okay But lik I still wonder lik y u gave like a traumatised expression that day 😂

him: I was just trying to see who said that lol

me: Oh I thought u got offended or smth 😂

him: Nahh I can't remember who it was tho Like the face I just left cuz my stop was there How did u find my snapchat btw..?

me: Ahh I get it Uhhh that's sources lol i mean friends help to find socials??

him: Oh but I dont follow anyone from our school tho? It's a bit weird so that's why..

me: Oh okay

him: 👌

me: oh btw u up for streaks?

him: oh yeah sure i really need streaks i was about to ask *sends a picture of this fingers*

me: *internally crushing* oh ok

him: What😂? ur just there lol it's kinda creepy TYPE SOMETHING

me: Lolol I'm actually double texting on discord so 💀💀💀

him: oh oh makes sense ☠️

me: yea 💀

Idk what to talk next 😭😭😭 I wanna make convo but like idk what to talk about without being so awkward. Now I know ya'll will say to talk about anime but I dont watch anime too 😭 So give me tips <3 and he's my first crush (boys at my school mostly don't look attractive to me)