#like u already hear ​how seamlessly they transition into each other is so good. AND THEN it transitions into the dark solas theme

[lavelans]

veilguard’s composers are likely hans zimmer and lorne balfe but i’m really hoping we’ll still get bangers like the entire trespasser soundtrack

[harrywritingsbyme]

So I’m a dark skin girl and I always wonder is Harry gets involved with women that are not white skinny tall blonde model like all his exes. Can u write something about that? Maybe they are friends but reader is into him but keeps us to herself cause she is sure he only date the same type of girls.

Feelings

A/N: I really needed and wanted to write this one. I feel like us chocolate girlies can be a bit left out some times, and it sucks. So I want to do/write more things that are specifically tailored to us black girls because we need to see and read more of it. Also, I don’t want this to be a thing where it’s putting anyone down or being melodramatic towards things that are at the end of the day out of our control. But this is just the way that some people (including myself at times) feel, and everyone should be aware of this. I did made sure that there is something in here that everyone can relate to in some way. So I hope you guys enjoy🙃 

4.5k Words

You rarely opened up. Most of your relationships were surface level, and you never fully expressed yourself the way that one would normally. For the longest time, even since you were a child, you never fully opened up to anyone. You would just go about your normal routine as if everything were fine, and bottle up everything you were feeling. Even when you were going through some of the worst times of your life, you still managed to keep face and put on a display of being okay, even though you were on the verge of dying inside. Still, you were able to get through most of your life like this and you were fine with things being the way they were. That is, until a certain someone fell into your life. 

When you first met Harry, it was like a breath of fresh air. Even though you still had your wall up and didn’t feel the urge to fully express yourself, you still felt like you could come to him with everything if you wanted to. He was just like the other people you’d met in the past who were nice and willing to get close to you. But at the same time, he still managed to be different than anyone you’d met in the past. You felt a sense of closeness to him that you couldn’t readily explain and that was unlike anyone you’d met before. He made you want to express yourself and release all of the emotions you had pent up inside of you for what felt like forever. It was like he was the person that you needed in your life who could draw out these things out of you. And after a period of time, he was in fact able to do this. 

At first, you were beyond anxious to be open and honest to someone about your feelings. But over time, the wall you’d built began to come down and you just allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Harry. And he was able to do the same. You both were able to lower your guards around each other and actually be free. The two of you were able to create a strong and solid friendship that would span across almost 3 years. Whenever something happened in each others lives, you both were each others first call. It was a friendship that neither of you wanted to take for granted. And you both, especially you, made sure to appreciate every moment and each other. 

Your appreciation for Harry went a bit deeper though.  

 You guys’ overall dynamic in the past year hadn’t changed at all. You two still did just about everything together and had a great time in each others company. It was your personal flow that had undergone a drastic change. You began to develop feelings that had gone far beyond the boundary of being platonic. They’d grown to be something beyond the scope of a simple camaraderie. You started to develop romantic feelings for your best friend. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen, it was normal for someone to develop these feelings towards a person they spent a lot of time with and are close to. It was just that the success rate for transitioning out of a loving, close, and healthy friendship to a loving, romantic, and healthy relationship was slim to none. And for you and particular, you felt like your chances were in the negatives. 

It’s already a rough thing to deal with when you find out that the person you have feelings for doesn’t feel the same way towards you. But these pangs of rejection are on a completely different level when you realize that you’re not even their type. Now you didn’t know for a fact what Harry’s “type” was. You’d asked him on separate occasions and his answer was always the same. He’d simply tell you that “if somethings there, then it’s worth a shot”. And you’d always respond with a “that makes sense”, deciding to not go there all together. Even though he said that he didn’t have a type, you knew that in his subconscious, he did in fact have one. There were things about you that didn’t at all align with his exes as a whole. If you had to be blunt, you weren’t skinny, tall, blonde, and white. You were a thick, average in height, dark haired, dark skinned, black woman. The differences between the two were uncanny and that was perfectly fine. You welcomed and celebrated everyones differences. And so did Harry; when it wasn’t his love life.

He just didn’t venture out into other things when it came to his love and personal life. You could honestly say that this was true because you watched it all from the sidelines. You were a bystander and sounding board to Harry during his most recent relationship, and just in general. You recognized the pattern in the women he’d choose to pursue. You’ve even seen in the magazines and on the internet, the people he’d been involved with in the past. And they all were extremely similar. 

Seeing all of this made you think that something was wrong with you. What made them so special? You just wanted him to look at you the same way he looked at them. Developing all of these newfound feelings caused you to begin to slip back into your old ways. You began holding in and internalizing everything when it came to this. You’d put on a brave face and act as if everything was okay. You were putting all of your energy into making Harry believe that you were fine. And you successfully did that. He had no clue as to what and how you were feeling, and you wanted to keep it that way. The last thing you wanted to do was lose the person who not only you cared deeply about, but the person who cared deeply about you. You couldn’t lose your best friend.

This endless cycle went on for months. You kept these feelings to yourself and you just kept things going. You hated doing this, but it was what you thought was the best for you. You hated the thought of losing Harry over this. But at the end of the day, you could only take but so much. You could relate this entire thing to a sponge. It takes in all the water it possibly can and eventually, little drops will begin to spill out when it’s reached its maximum capacity for water. You were the sponge. You had been internalizing or harboring all of these feelings for such a long period of time that eventually you were going to reach your tipping point. It was going to get to a place where you’d have to release all of it and tell Harry how you truly felt. And you really wanted to do that. In the past, talking about your feelings was something that you tried, and eventually swore you’d never do. You even tried therapy, but it just wouldn’t work for you. But with Harry, you wanted to talk to him and tell him how you felt. So keeping this inside for so long after not holding it all in for a little over two years was a definite struggle. 

In all of this though, you had no idea that the struggle you faced in holding everything inside was nowhere near the level of struggle you faced when you finally let it all out. 

The end of the week had finally came which meant that it was you and Harry’s night to hang out and talk about you guys’ week…even though you two talked just about everyday. This just gave you two an excuse to hang out. After you two made and ate dinner, you two decided to head outside and sit by the pool to enjoy Harry’s view and watch the sunset. The conversation between the two of you seamlessly bounced from subject to subject, and it managed to bounce all the way to relationships. 

“Any hot dates comin’ up?” Harry asks beside you, taking another swig from his glass of wine.

  “No. None that I know of at least. You?” You reply, redirecting the question back to him. 

“Me neither, but I have been talking to someone for the past couple of days.” Harry replies. 

“And you haven’t told me this?! As your best friend, I feel offended.” You joke with him, sitting up from the chair to get a better look at him. 

“Don’t be offended, you’ll always be my number one.” Harry coos with a laugh. “It’s nothing major or serious I guess.” He continues. 

“Got a picture?” You ask. Asking him this was a big mistake. 

“I think so.” Harry replies, pulling his phone out of his pocket. After a few seconds, he hands the phone over to you and there it was. A girl who looked exactly like everyone else he’s dated.

“Oh, she looks just like everyone else you’ve dated.” You hum amusedly, handing the phone back to him. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have said that. But you had a pretty good buzz going from the drinks Harry made, and the glass of wine you were currently working with. So your lips were a little bit looser than normal. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks with a very confused tone.

“No offense, but she looks like most of your exes.” You repeat, thinking back to the picture Harry just showed you.

“No she does not.” Harry says adamantly, brushing off your comment. 

“It’s okay Harry, we all know that you have a type.” You softly laugh. You were only teasing him...right?

“I do not have a type Y/n! Where is this coming from?” You could hear in his voice that he was genuinely confused. 

“This is coming from your best friend who’s seen you in a relationship with someone who not only looks like the girl you just showed me, but also girls before her.” You explain. 

“Well tell me these similarities because I’m still not following.” 

“Tall, skinny, blonde, and-“ You didn’t even think about the last and final one before saying it. “white.” You finish, listing off every last similarity. 

 “No they’re no-“ Harry couldn’t even finish his own sentence. He realized that it was in fact true. He didn’t know why he’d never seen the pattern before. He also couldn’t wrap his head around why you were so up and arms about it. When he looked at you, he could tell that you weren’t feeling the best about this conversation. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or him just being really bad at comprehension. He just wanted to make sense of it all and where it was coming from. 

“Can you honestly say that I, or anyone that looks like me for that matter would have an equal shot at being with you?”

There it was. The crazy thing about it all was that the question you just asked him, wasn’t even the bulk of what you really wanted to tell him. You weren’t even expecting to talk to him about this at all. You thought that you’d have a little bit more time to collect your thoughts, but all of this came completely out of left field. 

Asking Harry that question, along with the entire conversation in general was like stabbing yourself in the heart. It wasn’t even a full conversation and you were already dying inside. Every second of silence from Harry that went by was like a twist to the knife that was already buried inside you. You wanted to blame Harry for the horrible way you were feeling, but you couldn’t. You wanted to blame yourself for even bringing it up, but you couldn’t do that either. All you could do was sit there and try your best to muster up the tiniest bit of strength to pick yourself up and leave. Your body felt extremely heavy and you just wanted to get out of there.

Without uttering a single word to Harry, you finally pick yourself up and you walk away from him and the entire situation. Harry was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that he did in fact have a type, but seeing you walk away from him like that crushed him. He felt like you were not only walking away from him, you were also walking out of his life. He felt absolutely crushed and completely helpless. He was all alone. He had so many thoughts and feelings running around in his head that he couldn’t even chase after you to help him figure them out. And by the time he would finally build up the strength and courage to go after you, you would’ve already been gone. 

When you walked back into the house, you didn’t waste any time gathering your belongings that you’d brought with you before leaving out the front door. Since you were drinking, you decided to just call an Uber and just come back to get your car in the morning. For the next 5 minuets, you just stood outside Harry’s home. Staring blankly at whatever was around, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes, and trying to take your mind off of everything. 

You were so glad that the driver wasn’t trying to engage in a conversation with you because you weren’t in the mood at all. You just wanted complete silence. If you were to talk, you were going to burst into tears. And the last thing you wanted to do was permanently scar your Uber driver, so you decided to just stay silent. 

When you finally got to your building, you rushed out a quick thank you to the driver and you sprinted through the building and up to your apartment. The moment you stepped foot inside was the first time you breathed in the past two hours. As soon as you shut your front door you just collapsed into a heaping pile of tears. You were pretty much sobbing against your front door. This was the worst you’d ever felt in a really long time. You felt a mixture of anger, sadness, and pain. This was one of the sole reasons why you hated letting people in. Bringing those walls down meant that you were exposed and vulnerable. You had no defense what so ever. You tore those walls down just to have someone tear you apart, and leave you to pick up the pieces. You were torn apart by the person you needed the most. 

While you were at home bawling your eyes out, Harry was still wrapping his mind around what you said and what he didn’t say. The buzz he once had going was now gone, and his mind was all over the place. He didn’t even move from where he was sitting. He just sat outside and thought about it all. Harry realized that he not only had a type, but you had feelings for him. He thought that you only considered him to be a close friend and nothing more. But when you said “I, or anyone who looks like me…” he was able to read in between the lines to understand that you were mainly talking about yourself. It crushed Harry even more when he thought about the possibility of you not thinking that you were good enough for him. Simply because of his “preferences”, that were unbeknownst to him from the past. The fact that he made you feel this way was beyond gut wrenching and he just wanted to go back in time and tell you that the only type he has is you. That was one of the reasons that he clung to you the way he did. He looked to you as the model of what he could ever want in a partner. He always looked to you for your opinions and guidance because you were one of the best people that had ever came into his life. But instead of saying all of this, what he truly felt deep down, he didn’t say anything at all. He let you slip out of his grasp, and he didn’t know how to get you back. He didn’t even know if he was going to get you back. In that moment, he realized that his love for you went way beyond the general scope of being best friends. It wasn’t until 2 am that Harry was able to pick himself up from the lounge chair outside and go upstairs to bed. And even then, he still felt horrible. He was numb. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t end up going to bed until 5 am because he couldn’t stop crying and worrying. What made him completely break down was the fact that he couldn’t even call you. He couldn’t talk to the one person that always helped him through his dark times and picked him up. He knew what it was like to hit rock bottom, but this was an all-time low for Harry. 

That night was officially at top of the list for the worst nights of you and Harry’s lives. 

The next day was just as bad, if not worse than the last. You ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Harry couldn’t even get out of bed. The both of you were a mess and you didn’t know what to do. You avoided any type of communication with each other. The only time you and Harry interacted was to tell him that you were using the gate code to get your car from his driveway. After that, there was radio silence. The simple thought of each other could bring you both to tears. This entire ordeal didn’t last for just a day or two. It lasted for almost a week. The both of you were too emotional and broken to even function. You were using the time you saved up on your job to sulk around at home and stay inside your bubble sadness and heartbreak. And Harry was neglecting all of the things that he needed to do so that he could stay in bed and try to take his mind off of you. But after what was going on to be day 5, Harry couldn’t take anymore of this. It wasn’t because he was feeling horrible. It was because Harry knew that he broke your heart. He had the clearest picture of you at home, completely broken up because of him. He could almost feel your pain and he hated it. He needed to tell you his true feelings and beg you to forgive him. He couldn’t sit around anymore and not talk to you. You were not only his best friend, you were also the woman that he loved. In the days of him sitting at home and thinking, he realized that he didn’t give it a shot. He didn’t give you a shot. He was constantly chasing after something that was already his and right in front of him. 

After a long much needed shower, Harry got himself dressed and ready to go over to your place. On the way over, Harry made a stop to the florist that was in your direction and picked up the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could possibly buy. Not only were they your favorite flower, but you always seemed to gravitate towards the yellows because “they make my skin tone pop.” And they certainly did. Even remembering those little things could make Harry want to just burst into tears. For the rest of the drive to your apartment, Harry practiced all of the points he wanted to make out loud. He made sure that he remembered every last thing he wanted to say…and there was a lot. He was also preparing for the moment where you’d tell him that you didn’t want to talk to him ever again. Even though it may have seemed a bit extreme, he could understand why. He hurt you, and that’s the consequence that he’d have to pay. As he got closer and closer to your building, Harry could feel the butterflies in his stomach intensify and his lunch slowly make it’s way back up. He wasn’t feeling good at all, but he couldn’t turn his back on you and not try at all to redeem himself.

Between the time Harry got out of his car to when he was finally standing at your door was rough. As he got closer, his body got weaker. He was feeling a combination of embarrassment, sadness, anger, and worry. These feelings were so strong that he had to take two minuets before knocking on your door to stop himself from either throwing up or crying. Eventually he was able to get himself somewhat together and finally knock on your door.

When you hear the knock, you were sitting on your couch with your fluffy bathrobe on (that just so happened to be the one Harry brought you during one of his trips to Italy) with a pint of ice cream in hand, watching whatever was on the tv at the moment. You wanted to ignore the knock all together and just focus on your ice cream and the tv but you didn’t want to leave the person at the door hanging. So you reluctantly sit the cup down and you drag yourself to the door. When you look out through the peephole, your anxiety in that moment skyrockets. What in the world was Harry doing at your front door?! Even though you looked like an absolute mess and you didn’t want to talk to him in that moment, you still open the door for him.

When the door swings open and he sees you the waterworks begin all over again. He could see how puffy your face was from crying and how disheveled you looked and he hated it. He could feel the warm tears bubbling up in his eyes, but he was trying to do his best to keep them back. The two of you just stand there before Harry decides to talk. 

“M’so sorry Y/n.” That’s all he could say. He wasn’t just apologizing for what he said or didn’t say. He was also trying to say that he was a sorry person. It took him losing you for what felt like an eternity to really see how amazing you are and how much you contributed to his life.

“Wanna come in?” You ask him, stepping to the side to let him into your apartment. In that moment Harry just wanted to scoop you up into his arms and never let you go. He wanted to feel your warm and happy disposition that was now being clouded because of him. He wanted his Y/n back. When he walks inside, he quickly kicks his shoes off at the door and follows you into the kitchen.

“I got these for you.” He whispers, sitting the large bouquet on the counter and sitting on the other side.

“Thanks.” You whisper back to him, sending a soft smile his way. You wanted to almost to reassure Harry that you weren’t mad at him anymore. You were just sad and heartbroken. You never had feelings like these in such a large magnitude before. And because of this, you weren’t expecting any of what happened.

You silently turn away from him to grab the two vases you had in the cabinet and you sit them down on the counter in front of Harry. 

“I’m sorry if I overreacted on Friday. I just…” you mumble, beginning to unwrap the pretty flowers that were laying on the counter. You were trying to get your thoughts together but it was so hard. 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It was all my fault for not saying anything or acknowledging you.” When he says that, your breaths become shakier and a tear slips from your eye. You continue to keep your focus on the flowers as you try to compose your next sentence in your head. You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t even notice Harry coming around to your side of the counter. He softly pulls your hands away from the flowers and he pulls you into his body.

 That was the moment you needed. You thought your release was over the past few days but they were only building up to this. Feeling his arms securely wrapped around you was the only thing you wanted or needed from him. Feeling and hearing your cries only made Harry cry too. The both of you just stood there in your kitchen holding each other as you both poured your hearts out to each other through your tears. This time, not saying anything was saying everything. The both of you could feel what the other was feeling and wanted to say. It was like a large weight was lifted off of you both. After a few more moments of crying and being in your arms, Harry needed to get one thing off of his chest. When he pulls away from you he cups both of your cheeks in his hands and he looks right into your eyes. He wanted to make sure that you knew that he meant every last word that was coming out of his mouth. 

“I can’t even explain how sorry I am Y/n. You mean the world to me and I can’t even fathom the idea of not having you in my life. Seeing you completely broken the other night haunts me everyday and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that. After not having your in my life, even if it was only a few days, I realized that I can’t live without you. I’ve spent so much time and energy looking for my match when I didn’t even bother to look right in front of me. The only type that I have is you. You’re absolutely stunning, inside and out. I feel like a proper dick for making you feel like you weren’t good enough for me. It’s me who’s not good enough. I let you down and I’ll never forget that. You’ve never left my side in the past 3 years and I couldn’t even give you a simple answer. I love you so much and I’ll never stop.” When Harry says this, the knife that was once burrowed in your heart was gone and the wound is patched up as if it never happened. Sure it’ll take time for it all to completely go away, but this was a hell of a good start. 

“I love you so much.” You whimper, feeling another heavy round of hot tears cascade down your face. Harry then pulls your head towards his and presses a long, warm kiss right onto your forehead. That, along with his previous words got rid of the clouds. You were happy again. Your once full sponge was now empty. This meant that you could fill it up again, only this time with feelings of love and happiness. You could finally retire from building walls around yourself and continue experiencing the good that came from being vulnerable. 

Masterlist

[kirislut]

HEY WOW 500 IS AMAZING U SHOULD BE SO PROUD😽 can I request backyard boy with Tamaki amajiki thank you

“backyard boy”

a/n: thank you!! also i got carried away and ended up writing a lot...idk how it even happened ack and it doesn’t follow the song exactly but uhm oops 💀

song prompt: “backyard boy” by claire rosinkranz

warnings: none!

taglist (open): @katsushimaa @meliorist-midoriya @animatedarchives @softieshoto @bbakougo @grow-a-smile-for-a-while @finndaydreams @deephasoceanmagic @nieve-blancas @bunnythepipsqueak

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

dancing and music was something you’ve always loved. to be able to let yourself go to move and dance around carelessly. it was like an ordered chaos, while you could move any way you wanted you still followed the beat. it was your form of freedom and expression ever since you were young. it was actually how you met your best friend, tamaki.

when you were in third grade, you were outside just dancing around to the music coming from the radio you brought outside. you were just having the time of your life, letting you body go as you smiled and swayed to the music. you only stopped when you saw dark blue hair through a gap in your fence.

being curious you walked over and tried to find a gap to see who was on the other side of the fence. you once overheard your parent talking about how the people had moved out, but it seemed that new people had moved in already.

you struggled for a bit, trying to find a good place to look but the hair was gone. maybe you had just imagined it? you didn’t think much of it, since your parent called you in to eat just after. but a few days later you were outside again, dancing and just enjoying the music from the radio.

once again you saw the hair, and this time an eye! but once you made eye contact it disappeared again. so now you were determined to find out who it was. and being the imaginative third grader, you can up with a simple plan.

so the next day you brought the radio out and let it play like usual. but this time you brought out a stool so you could peek over the fence to finally see who was watching you dance.

you waited until you saw the dark blue hair again, quickly you scrambled to climb the stool. peeking over you saw a boy who looked to be the same age as you, “hi!”

poor boy nearly died on the spot from the sudden intereaction. he looked up, surprised to see you from over the fence. however he didn’t say anything, just frozen on the spot from being spot.

“my name is (l/n) (y/n)! do you like to dance too? i saw you watching before! what’s your name too?”

little did you know that that intereaction would blossom into a deep friendship. it took time for tamaki to be able to properly talk to you since he was shy but you brought him out of his shell pretty well.

whenever you would play music he would come outside and the two of you would play together. he never danced until you taught him to. even then he didn’t really boogie down, just swayed to the beat with you. but you were just glad to have a dancing buddy.

it became routine from there on for tamaki to climb over the fence and hang out with you as music played. you even met mirio thanks to tamaki. but sadly you guys didn’t go to the same elementary school so hanging out usually took place in your backyard.

even if you wanted to, you guys couldn’t dance together forever. when tamaki told you he would be going to u.a. you knew that hang outs together would be limited since he would be training to become a hero afterall.

it was rough at first, you missed your friend and now crush. you knew that he would come home exhausted from training and busy with homework, but tamaki still tried to be with you whenever he wasn’t beat or was free from homework.

it became less and less frequent, and by his second year in u.a. it completely stopped. you would still catch glimpses of him but it was nothing more than a quick glance. it hurt you to think that he had forgotten about you, but he was busy and there was nothing you could do about that. becoming a hero was nothing easy. even so your backyard boy still had your heart. childhood crushes were never an easy thing to let go. your feelings were still present, just in the back of your mind.

you were currently in your backyard, just like the good ole days, but instead of dancing freely you were practicing a routine for your upcoming audition. while tamaki pursued his passion of heroism by going to u.a. you were chasing after your love of dancing by trying to get into a dance college.

music played from your speaker as you went through the motions of your routine. everything was going smoothly except there was a transition you couldn’t get down. your footing was always off each time you tried to do it. eventually you just became frustrated with yourself, stopping the music and sitting down to try and chill out.

however sitting wasn’t helping, but you knew what would. you played your dancing playlist on your speak and got up, getting a feel for the music first before letting the movement come naturally to you.

usually tamaki wouldn’t be at home, since u.a. established dorms, but he was allowed to go home after coming back from a dangerous mission. he sitting in his room, working on an assignment, when he suddenly heard music coming from outside.

he was suddenly filled with nostalgic memories from when he was younger, remembering how he would wait to hear music so that he could hang out with you. a realization dawned on him in that moment, you had to be outside. but another dilemma came to mind, how was he supposed to muster up the courage to talk to you again after so long.

after a minute of internal conflict he decided me might as well say something, part of him really missed your presence. tamaki made his way out of his room and went straight to the fence separating you both. as usual he peeked through the same hole in the fence to see you dancing around.

he felt his cheeks flush immediately, it had been a while since he had seen you properly. were you always this cute? he also noticed that your dance movements were more refined and calculated than just swishing you’re body around. you really blossomed into an amazing dancer, tamaki was completely transfixed in your movements.

he was always mesmerized whenever he watched you dance, he felt like a moth drawn to the flame of your movement. but he knew if he tried to dance like you he’d just crash and burn, dancing wasn’t his forte afterall. but he was fine with that, as long as he could watch you.

tamaki was caught up thinking about you, while watching you, that he didn’t notice that you were staring back at him.

“tama? what are you doing here?” your head cocked to the side, but embarrassment was evident on your face. before you weren’t shy about your dancing, but know it was different since your now crush was watching.

tamaki’s cheeks immediately flared up from being caught, it felt like the first time you guys talked again. “(y-y/n) sorry i didn’t mean to creep i just...” poor tamaki just struggled, how was defeating a villain twice his size easier than talking to you?

“tama it’s fine! i’m just glad to see you again it’s been so long, hop over let’s chat like before!” your enthusiasm came easy, but that didn’t stop the butterflies from rampaging in your stomach.

the shy male just nodded and easily jumped over the wooden fence, landing with ease. he stood there, the moment awkward as neither of you spoke. both of you were just admiring the other. just like how tamaki noticed the changes in you, you noticed the changes in him.

he was taller now, and even if he stood slightly curled in on himself you could still see the muscle he built up over the years of training hard. he changed from the cute, little boy into a strong, handsome man. but you couldn’t just oogle at him forever sadly.

“want to dance with me?” you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. well that wasn’t true, there was so much you wanted to say and ask but you just couldn’t figure out where to start. so might as well and indulge in your nostalgia and dance like in both of your younger days.

tamaki, even though was very nervous about his dancing skills, nodded curtly. besides, how could he say no to you? especially after seeing you smile so brightly, almost brighter than mirio’s smile, when he accepted.

you resumed the music, bobbing your head lightly then starting to sway and shimmy to the beat. tamaki however stood there, clueless and tense. they never him dancing at u.a. so he wasn’t sure how to jump in like you easily could.

lucky for him, you saw his hesitation and reached your hand out to him. “come on tama, even if we look silly well he having fun right?” again, how could he deny you? so he slipped his hand into yours, allowing you to pull him closer and also taking his other hand.

you bopped your head to the beat and tamaki did the same, just in a more rigid fashion. he was doing his best to follow along, it had been more than three years that last time he danced with you.

you started to pull and push his arms along with the song, shimming your shoulders back and forth as your own form of movement. tamaki was slow but eventually he got the hang of it, thanks to you.

after two songs you guys meshed together seamlessly, sure it was just the two of you sloppily dancing around each other while performing silly dance moves. but it was just pure joy and fun.

tamaki decided to do something bold, for once, and twirled you around. you smiled as you felt the air swish around you, but when he pulled you back to him. back in his arms, you were suddenly being bombarded by those previous butterflies.

for a moment the world held its breath as the two of you got lost into each other’s eyes. once again tamaki felt like he was being drawn to you, he didn’t even realize he was subconsciously leaning in closer and closer-

“tamaki! i need you for a minute!”

the moment left as quick as it came. the both of you pulled back from each other, faces flushed and hot from the prior tense atmosphere. “i need to go back now...” tamaki’s eyes lingered in the ground, a force taking over his lips. he didn’t want to leave already, he didn’t even have the chance to try and talk to you.

“right..” you sighed sadly as you watched him, you also really didn’t want him to leave. he just came back, you weren’t letting him slip through your fingers again. “hey tama, promise me we will dance again soon ok? and we still need to catch up after so long! just promise i’ll see you again ok?”

tamaki finally lifted his gaze back to you, seeing you standing with your pinkie held out to seal the promise. he really couldn’t deny you at all, but he didn’t want to anyways.

he nodded, a small smile on his face as he wrapped his pinkie with yours. you both squeezed your pinkies together then released, letting the hands return to each of your sides.

“bye tama!” you waved goodbye to the male as he hoisted himself on top of the fence, he looked back at you and just smiled shyly before pushing himself over and landing in his backyard. even though your time together was short, you knew you would see your backyard boy again soon. a promise was a promise afterall, and you intended to keep it. no matter what.

[rainbowkosmos]

Thoughts on Love Yourself: Tear

i’ve been listening to this album nonstop for over a week now, but I really want to organize some of my thoughts so Here We Go

(this is very long and i’m sorry)

Singularity:

This one has been out for a while and it was slow to grow on me, but now I really like it. it’s dark, sort of haunting, the kind of song that’s good for playing low at 3 am.

“감싸 보려하지만” especially sounds really good.

god this style of music suits taehyung so well. i also think this is definitely a song that is enhanced by it’s music video.

I just wanna talk for a sec about how Namjoon has had a hand in writing all three LY intros so far and how they’re all fuckin amazing

Fake Love:

I love the descending eerie “ding ding ding ding” in the background of this song. It just adds so much character.

whenever i sing this I try to sing “fake love” and then the fanchant “fake love” in the same verse lmao

“love you so bad, love you so bad, 널 위해 예쁜 거짓을 빚어내” is probably my favourite part of the song, it sound so good

also shoutout to namjoon who has two verses in this song and kills them both

jin sounds fantastic on the chorus. he really shines on this song- the way he sings “fake love” is just so pleasing to the ear.

the structure of this song is really weird. like, I don’t hate it, i actually kind of like it, but I wish they had pulled back for an instrumental break after “I just know why, it’s all fake love” and maybe built the song back up again with the “ding ding ding ding”s. it could have used the break in vocals imo.

The Truth Untold

I cried the first time I heard this song and it was 99% because of the rawness of these vocals.

god listen to jin on his first verse.

Jimin sounds beautiful on this song. jimin sounds beautiful always tbh but it’s especially noticeable here, and a lot of my favourite jimin moments from this album are on this track

“you know that I can’t show you me, give you me” i haven’t been fine since i first heard these lyrics

the connection between the first three songs (talk of masks, blooming flowers, hiding oneself) is pretty incredible tbh.

can you believe this is a steve aoki song? i can’t. well done to him for stepping outside the box.

“and i still want you” did????? i ask??????

134340

ngl this is probably my least favourite song on the album, but I can still appreciate it for it’s lyrical cleverness and the frankly amazing flute.

“Us is the plural form of U” i just. really fuckin love namjoon.

I will say, i really like the pre-chorus on this song, the “난 맴돌고만 있어“ bit. it sounds so... adventurous? idk when i first heard this song I was driving through really heavy fog at 3:30 in the morning and i honestly felt like i’d been transported back to the dawn of the dinosaurs and was about to run into a triceratops. anyway, moving on.

Paradise

Okay lyrically, this song is one of my favourites on the album, but instrumentally, it just can’t hold my attention. there’s nothing about it that grabs me except for the “Stop running for nothing, my friend” near the end. as it is, i really love the lyrics, and it has a message that i’m clinging to right now.

“We deserve a life, 뭐가 크건 작건 그냥 너는 너잖어” (whether big or small, you are just you) namjoon is like dr seuss for 20 year olds i love it

“꿈이 없어도 괜찮아” thank u bts this is a message i need rn

yoongi often raps like he’s pulled his verses straight out of my own thoughts and this one is no different. it’s kind of comforting, honestly.

why are he and hoseok turning into the same person though. like on this song and a few others, they trade verses seamlessly and it’s frankly kind of eerie.

this entire album is so cohesive though.

너를 이루는 모든 언어는 이미 낙원에 i kind of really love this line. it’s gorgeous. “every language that makes you is already in paradise”.

Love Maze

I feel like I haven’t explored this song lyrically enough, but I do like it. I especially like how defiant it sounds. Where it’s placed on the album feels very fitting.

“Love ain't a business, rather like a fitness” “Love is a maze damn, but you is amaze” goddamnit namjoon why do i love these lyrics so much

“baby, just don’t give a damn” seokjin.

tbh that’s all i have to say

that really warped sound that becomes prominent in yoongi’s verse is so cool and adds so much character and atmosphere to the song

also the reference to paradise after the last song was actually called paradise is a nice touch and again, makes this album feel like a story with a beginning, a middle and an end.

i’m really sorry. I know the actual lyrics in hoseok’s verse are “와 있고” but it 100% sounds like “white girl” and that’s all I ever hear when i listen to the song.

it’s interesting to me that some people say this song is romantic, whereas others say it’s about the relationship between bts and their fans. what i love about bts’s lyrics is they often leave a lot of things up for interpretation, and i don’t think they’d be bothered by either viewpoint.

Magic Shop

alright this is one of my favourite songs on the album and i have a Lot to say

i have the lyrics to this song saved on my phone so that i can go and look at them whenever i’m feeling down

also if a song is ‘atmospheric’ enough, i associate colours/images with them in my head, and magic shop is one of the most beautiful songs i’ve ever “seen”.

“So show me (I’ll show you)” is gonna be so fuckin powerful at concerts i can just tell

isn’t hoseok’s verse from his thank you in HYYH pt 1? ugh their minds

also hoseok sounds gorgeous here

the little “ey ey“s in yoongi’s verse please i love

and then there’s a reference to The Last here, but it’s written in a much gentler way and with a flip to it. god i love this song.

and then it goes back to hoseok rly quickly before the chorus again and have i mentioned how much i adore the way sope just fits together on this album

there’s something so calming about this song that just quiets my head for a few minutes

“you gave me the best of me, so you’ll give you the best of you” these are my favourite lyrics on the entire goddamn album, they’re just so impactful. a: a throwback to best of me, and b: a reminder to their fans that they should love themselves as much as they love bts (i’m trying, okay).

before we move on, I want to mention that Magic Shop marks a very obvious tonal shift in the album, the previous songs have all been sad, bitter, defiant, dark. there’s a consistent theme of hiding yourself behind a mask and worrying you won’t be loved (by others or yourself) if you take that mask off. in Magic Shop, the tone finally grows vulnerable, they talk of past fears, of using the “magic shop” to trade worries for happiness, and the rest of the album (until the outro) is going to be tonally more upbeat. this is not a coincidence.

Airplane Part 2

i’m not gonna lie, airplane was my least favourite song on hope world, but this? this is a fucking Jam.

the first time i heard this my mouth genuinely dropped open when jk started singing lmao

kings of singing latin pop in korean

okay jin and namjoon trading off lines is one of the most iconic parts of this entire album

EL MARIACHI

EL MARIACHI

EL MARIACHI

and then yoongi and jimin trading lines? also iconic. the rap and vocal lines worked so well on this album and it truly shows on songs like this.

this song ends on what feels like an unfinished note. like the structure here is weird too. is there a bridge?? i don’t feel like there is???

Anpanman

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH

i remember listening to this for the first time and just laughing through the whole thing bc i was so delighted

this is a song where taehyung sounds very much in his element, but in a different way from singularity

this just feels like classic bangtan to me and it makes me so happy

“keep ballin ballin, still bangtan” there is something about this line that makes me smile so much.

“눈 뜨니 hero but still in 미로” interesting. “still in a maze”- is this a reference to love maze or am i overthinking things.

also this song seems all light and fluffy on the outside until u remember that anpanman was a hero made of bread who gave parts of himself to others to make them happy and then the rapline all get a turn singing “i’m a new generation anpanman”.... i see. pls don’t do what the old generation anpanman did.

even though things have gotten tonally lighter there are still dark undertones here and that comes to a head later in the outro

i fucking love jk’s verse in this song, it might be my favourite of his on the entire album

i stan a band of Nerds

So What

this is a very surface song that i enjoy jamming to in my car, but have no thoughts on it beyond that haha

i laugh every time one of them uses “bae” in a song bc it just sounds... off

“고민보다 Go Go” god i love it when they reference their older songs

this may not have been as surface as i thought it was upon closer examination of the lyrics. idk what i was expecting tbh like, this is bts.

“hope world, let’s go” that’s fantastic

tbh this might be one of my favourite hoseok verses on the album

wait so namjoon’s not saying “i wanna die right now”? i just now figured that out.

the last minute and a half of this song simply did not need to be there

Outro: Tear

i saw someone say that the instrumental for this belongs in a movie score and i 100% agree

namjoon goes the fuck off in this song like holy shit it’s been a while

and then he repeats “you’re my tear” three times, which alone isn’t interesting but is made interesting by the fact that when rapline comes together later, this bit is changed

okay this is my favourite hoseok verse on the album

and then again with the seamless transition to yoongi! god i’m curious as to why they decided to structure their verses like that, as far as I can remember they haven’t done this before and i really like this stylistic choice because they compliment each other so well.

“we thought we dreamed the same dream, but that dream has finally become a dream“ goddamn

this song sounds so raw, like the truth untold sounded raw too, but I really liked that this album had a vocal and a rap line track to showcase how music can sound vulnerable in different ways.

OKAY here it is, one of my absolute favourite pieces of wordplay (that i can understand) on the album

namjoon says “you’re my tear,” just like he did earlier. yoongi follows that up with “you’re my tear” but he uses the other pronunciation, changing the meaning to “you’re my tear (as in, tearing something).” then hoseok comes in and rhymes “fear” with namjoon’s pronunciation of tear. these are god tier (lmao i can wordplay too) lyrics my friends.

god i love yoongi’s verse so much. first the autotune, then the layering of autotune and his lower register (which he’s used so much more on this album and i adore it) like he switches things up so well and he’s such a versatile rapper i’m literally constantly floored by him.

and then there’s another really nice transition from namjoon to yoongi. what i like about bts’s rapline is that hoseok and yoongi sound really good together, but their higher rapping styles compliment namjoon’s deeper voice so well.

i just need you all to know that the first time i listened to this song i was driving at four am and it’s a good thing i was alone bc when yoongi started singing on the bridge i literally shrieked ‘fUCK’ and clapped a hand over my mouth

hoseok was a fuckin brilliant way to finish this album off, he gives this last verse the emotion and speed it needs and i love it. they’re all good at rapping over instrumental pieces like this but there’s something about hoseok (he did it in boy meets evil too) that just drives home the emotion.

and breathe.

Standout Things:

The cohesive storyline within a larger storyline

Love Yourself: Tear is almost what I would call a concept album, which is classified as an album that is "unified by a theme, which can be instrumental, compositional, narrative, or lyrical.” (yes i got that from wikipedia, but the point stands because there’s definitely a concept here.) Love Yourself: Her also falls within the larger storyline of the Love Yourself era (the rise, fall and resolution of love) but I wouldn’t classify that as a concept album in the same way. Sure, a few of it’s songs dealt with the same sort of ideas, a love that was destined by fate, but a few others veered wildly off of that course. Love Yourself Tear remains steady on it’s concept of masks, pain, self love, giving too much to other people and how to be an idol and still love and be loved for your true self. There’s truly a story being told here and I love it.

The metaphors

Kpop love songs usually do nothing for me, but BTS has been getting a lot better at writing them lately, and what I really liked about the romantic songs on this album is that they were explored using metaphors and references to old stories. 134340 refers to both Pluto and Hades to make it’s point. Love Maze weaves a picture of a dark maze with no way out. The Truth Untold references the smeraldo flower. Even the non romantic songs tell a story in a roundabout way- Anpanman and Magic Shop are both for the fans, one is built around a superhero, the other a psychological technique used in therapy to change one’s way of thinking. The writing on this album has matured greatly and it really makes you think about what they’re saying.

Yoongi’s style experimentation

There were a couple times while listening to this album that I had to take a moment to go “wait, is that Yoongi?” I’m rather used to Yoongi rapping in a certain way. his style-   occasionally cocky, occasionally bitter, usually high toned, fast and emotional- is pretty distinct, and for the most part, he ditched that on this album in favour of a style that’s more mellowed out and lower pitched. he experimented with autotune, sound effects and even singing and i think his experimentation paid off, because he was one of the most memorable parts about this album for me.

Namjoon’s writing

Namjoon is a phenomenal lyricist, we all know that, but every single verse of his on this album stood out to me in some way or another. he had a hand in writing/producing every single song on this album, and i could really see his influence all over it. I just love words and well written lines, and there are so many lines on this album, particularly in Namjoon’s verses that just make me stop for a moment so I can just appreciate the beauty.

Magic Shop’s themes

This. Song.

First of all, the concept of the “magic shop” is such a cool idea for a song, and the way they incorporated it is actually really clever? It’s literally a therapeutic song, because it is a real psychological technique and they’re saying ‘we’ll be your happiness, just come to the “magic shop” and trade in your worries, you’ll be okay’. but, it goes further than “we’ll fix you!!!” with the line “You gave me the best of me, so you’ll give you the best of you”. Here, they encourage their fans to find the “best of themselves”. Basically, saying “love yourself as much as you’ve loved me”. god this is so good.

I have to mention that this song just sounds magical. There’s a calming, celestial vibe to it that A: fits with the rest of the album up until that point and B: acts as a bridge between the rather sad first half of the album and the more upbeat second half.

Bangtan’s chemistry

A minor problem I had with a few of BTS’s older albums was the disconnect between members. (not in person, just in their music). They were all singing on the same tracks, but it didn’t always feel very cohesive. Wings especially (although it remains my favourite Bangtan album) felt like a bunch of separate artists got together and decided to make an album (an amazing album and that style really worked for them at the time, but i digress). On this album, BTS finally feels like a band.  Sure, I praise both the rap and vocal line separately for the truth untold and outro tear, but I’ve never heard BTS sound so strong as a group. The rapping and the vocals felt seamless- there were so many times where they rapidly went back and forth between members, or shared lines, or harmonized beautifully. It rarely, if ever, felt like the vocal line ft: rapline, or the other way around. They blend the two so well these days, from Jungkook and Namjoon’s bit in Fake Love to Yoongi and Jimin during Airplane Part 2. I’m honestly delighted at how well this album works as a whole. Those eight years of living and working together have really paid off for them.

Overall: Love Yourself Tear is a beautiful piece of music that shows a more mature side of BTS. It’s flaws- lack of energy in the middle of the album, more autotune than their previous works, occasionally hard to follow song structure- are not even so much flaws as they are stylistic choices that I can respect. It is a phenomenal 2nd part of a 3 part act, and I eagerly await Love Yourself: Answer for the conclusion of this story, and to see where BTS will take their ever-evolving sound next.

Rating: 9/10.