#like u already hear ​how seamlessly they transition into each other is so good. AND THEN it transitions into the dark solas theme

[lavelans]

veilguard’s composers are likely hans zimmer and lorne balfe but i’m really hoping we’ll still get bangers like the entire trespasser soundtrack

[harrywritingsbyme]

So I’m a dark skin girl and I always wonder is Harry gets involved with women that are not white skinny tall blonde model like all his exes. Can u write something about that? Maybe they are friends but reader is into him but keeps us to herself cause she is sure he only date the same type of girls.

Feelings

A/N: I really needed and wanted to write this one. I feel like us chocolate girlies can be a bit left out some times, and it sucks. So I want to do/write more things that are specifically tailored to us black girls because we need to see and read more of it. Also, I don’t want this to be a thing where it’s putting anyone down or being melodramatic towards things that are at the end of the day out of our control. But this is just the way that some people (including myself at times) feel, and everyone should be aware of this. I did made sure that there is something in here that everyone can relate to in some way. So I hope you guys enjoy🙃 

4.5k Words

You rarely opened up. Most of your relationships were surface level, and you never fully expressed yourself the way that one would normally. For the longest time, even since you were a child, you never fully opened up to anyone. You would just go about your normal routine as if everything were fine, and bottle up everything you were feeling. Even when you were going through some of the worst times of your life, you still managed to keep face and put on a display of being okay, even though you were on the verge of dying inside. Still, you were able to get through most of your life like this and you were fine with things being the way they were. That is, until a certain someone fell into your life. 

When you first met Harry, it was like a breath of fresh air. Even though you still had your wall up and didn’t feel the urge to fully express yourself, you still felt like you could come to him with everything if you wanted to. He was just like the other people you’d met in the past who were nice and willing to get close to you. But at the same time, he still managed to be different than anyone you’d met in the past. You felt a sense of closeness to him that you couldn’t readily explain and that was unlike anyone you’d met before. He made you want to express yourself and release all of the emotions you had pent up inside of you for what felt like forever. It was like he was the person that you needed in your life who could draw out these things out of you. And after a period of time, he was in fact able to do this. 

At first, you were beyond anxious to be open and honest to someone about your feelings. But over time, the wall you’d built began to come down and you just allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Harry. And he was able to do the same. You both were able to lower your guards around each other and actually be free. The two of you were able to create a strong and solid friendship that would span across almost 3 years. Whenever something happened in each others lives, you both were each others first call. It was a friendship that neither of you wanted to take for granted. And you both, especially you, made sure to appreciate every moment and each other. 

Your appreciation for Harry went a bit deeper though.  

 You guys’ overall dynamic in the past year hadn’t changed at all. You two still did just about everything together and had a great time in each others company. It was your personal flow that had undergone a drastic change. You began to develop feelings that had gone far beyond the boundary of being platonic. They’d grown to be something beyond the scope of a simple camaraderie. You started to develop romantic feelings for your best friend. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen, it was normal for someone to develop these feelings towards a person they spent a lot of time with and are close to. It was just that the success rate for transitioning out of a loving, close, and healthy friendship to a loving, romantic, and healthy relationship was slim to none. And for you and particular, you felt like your chances were in the negatives. 

It’s already a rough thing to deal with when you find out that the person you have feelings for doesn’t feel the same way towards you. But these pangs of rejection are on a completely different level when you realize that you’re not even their type. Now you didn’t know for a fact what Harry’s “type” was. You’d asked him on separate occasions and his answer was always the same. He’d simply tell you that “if somethings there, then it’s worth a shot”. And you’d always respond with a “that makes sense”, deciding to not go there all together. Even though he said that he didn’t have a type, you knew that in his subconscious, he did in fact have one. There were things about you that didn’t at all align with his exes as a whole. If you had to be blunt, you weren’t skinny, tall, blonde, and white. You were a thick, average in height, dark haired, dark skinned, black woman. The differences between the two were uncanny and that was perfectly fine. You welcomed and celebrated everyones differences. And so did Harry; when it wasn’t his love life.

He just didn’t venture out into other things when it came to his love and personal life. You could honestly say that this was true because you watched it all from the sidelines. You were a bystander and sounding board to Harry during his most recent relationship, and just in general. You recognized the pattern in the women he’d choose to pursue. You’ve even seen in the magazines and on the internet, the people he’d been involved with in the past. And they all were extremely similar. 

Seeing all of this made you think that something was wrong with you. What made them so special? You just wanted him to look at you the same way he looked at them. Developing all of these newfound feelings caused you to begin to slip back into your old ways. You began holding in and internalizing everything when it came to this. You’d put on a brave face and act as if everything was okay. You were putting all of your energy into making Harry believe that you were fine. And you successfully did that. He had no clue as to what and how you were feeling, and you wanted to keep it that way. The last thing you wanted to do was lose the person who not only you cared deeply about, but the person who cared deeply about you. You couldn’t lose your best friend.

This endless cycle went on for months. You kept these feelings to yourself and you just kept things going. You hated doing this, but it was what you thought was the best for you. You hated the thought of losing Harry over this. But at the end of the day, you could only take but so much. You could relate this entire thing to a sponge. It takes in all the water it possibly can and eventually, little drops will begin to spill out when it’s reached its maximum capacity for water. You were the sponge. You had been internalizing or harboring all of these feelings for such a long period of time that eventually you were going to reach your tipping point. It was going to get to a place where you’d have to release all of it and tell Harry how you truly felt. And you really wanted to do that. In the past, talking about your feelings was something that you tried, and eventually swore you’d never do. You even tried therapy, but it just wouldn’t work for you. But with Harry, you wanted to talk to him and tell him how you felt. So keeping this inside for so long after not holding it all in for a little over two years was a definite struggle. 

In all of this though, you had no idea that the struggle you faced in holding everything inside was nowhere near the level of struggle you faced when you finally let it all out. 

The end of the week had finally came which meant that it was you and Harry’s night to hang out and talk about you guys’ week…even though you two talked just about everyday. This just gave you two an excuse to hang out. After you two made and ate dinner, you two decided to head outside and sit by the pool to enjoy Harry’s view and watch the sunset. The conversation between the two of you seamlessly bounced from subject to subject, and it managed to bounce all the way to relationships. 

“Any hot dates comin’ up?” Harry asks beside you, taking another swig from his glass of wine.

  “No. None that I know of at least. You?” You reply, redirecting the question back to him. 

“Me neither, but I have been talking to someone for the past couple of days.” Harry replies. 

“And you haven’t told me this?! As your best friend, I feel offended.” You joke with him, sitting up from the chair to get a better look at him. 

“Don’t be offended, you’ll always be my number one.” Harry coos with a laugh. “It’s nothing major or serious I guess.” He continues. 

“Got a picture?” You ask. Asking him this was a big mistake. 

“I think so.” Harry replies, pulling his phone out of his pocket. After a few seconds, he hands the phone over to you and there it was. A girl who looked exactly like everyone else he’s dated.

“Oh, she looks just like everyone else you’ve dated.” You hum amusedly, handing the phone back to him. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have said that. But you had a pretty good buzz going from the drinks Harry made, and the glass of wine you were currently working with. So your lips were a little bit looser than normal. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks with a very confused tone.

“No offense, but she looks like most of your exes.” You repeat, thinking back to the picture Harry just showed you.

“No she does not.” Harry says adamantly, brushing off your comment. 

“It’s okay Harry, we all know that you have a type.” You softly laugh. You were only teasing him...right?

“I do not have a type Y/n! Where is this coming from?” You could hear in his voice that he was genuinely confused. 

“This is coming from your best friend who’s seen you in a relationship with someone who not only looks like the girl you just showed me, but also girls before her.” You explain. 

“Well tell me these similarities because I’m still not following.” 

“Tall, skinny, blonde, and-“ You didn’t even think about the last and final one before saying it. “white.” You finish, listing off every last similarity. 

 “No they’re no-“ Harry couldn’t even finish his own sentence. He realized that it was in fact true. He didn’t know why he’d never seen the pattern before. He also couldn’t wrap his head around why you were so up and arms about it. When he looked at you, he could tell that you weren’t feeling the best about this conversation. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or him just being really bad at comprehension. He just wanted to make sense of it all and where it was coming from. 

“Can you honestly say that I, or anyone that looks like me for that matter would have an equal shot at being with you?”

There it was. The crazy thing about it all was that the question you just asked him, wasn’t even the bulk of what you really wanted to tell him. You weren’t even expecting to talk to him about this at all. You thought that you’d have a little bit more time to collect your thoughts, but all of this came completely out of left field. 

Asking Harry that question, along with the entire conversation in general was like stabbing yourself in the heart. It wasn’t even a full conversation and you were already dying inside. Every second of silence from Harry that went by was like a twist to the knife that was already buried inside you. You wanted to blame Harry for the horrible way you were feeling, but you couldn’t. You wanted to blame yourself for even bringing it up, but you couldn’t do that either. All you could do was sit there and try your best to muster up the tiniest bit of strength to pick yourself up and leave. Your body felt extremely heavy and you just wanted to get out of there.

Without uttering a single word to Harry, you finally pick yourself up and you walk away from him and the entire situation. Harry was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that he did in fact have a type, but seeing you walk away from him like that crushed him. He felt like you were not only walking away from him, you were also walking out of his life. He felt absolutely crushed and completely helpless. He was all alone. He had so many thoughts and feelings running around in his head that he couldn’t even chase after you to help him figure them out. And by the time he would finally build up the strength and courage to go after you, you would’ve already been gone. 

When you walked back into the house, you didn’t waste any time gathering your belongings that you’d brought with you before leaving out the front door. Since you were drinking, you decided to just call an Uber and just come back to get your car in the morning. For the next 5 minuets, you just stood outside Harry’s home. Staring blankly at whatever was around, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes, and trying to take your mind off of everything. 

You were so glad that the driver wasn’t trying to engage in a conversation with you because you weren’t in the mood at all. You just wanted complete silence. If you were to talk, you were going to burst into tears. And the last thing you wanted to do was permanently scar your Uber driver, so you decided to just stay silent. 

When you finally got to your building, you rushed out a quick thank you to the driver and you sprinted through the building and up to your apartment. The moment you stepped foot inside was the first time you breathed in the past two hours. As soon as you shut your front door you just collapsed into a heaping pile of tears. You were pretty much sobbing against your front door. This was the worst you’d ever felt in a really long time. You felt a mixture of anger, sadness, and pain. This was one of the sole reasons why you hated letting people in. Bringing those walls down meant that you were exposed and vulnerable. You had no defense what so ever. You tore those walls down just to have someone tear you apart, and leave you to pick up the pieces. You were torn apart by the person you needed the most. 

While you were at home bawling your eyes out, Harry was still wrapping his mind around what you said and what he didn’t say. The buzz he once had going was now gone, and his mind was all over the place. He didn’t even move from where he was sitting. He just sat outside and thought about it all. Harry realized that he not only had a type, but you had feelings for him. He thought that you only considered him to be a close friend and nothing more. But when you said “I, or anyone who looks like me…” he was able to read in between the lines to understand that you were mainly talking about yourself. It crushed Harry even more when he thought about the possibility of you not thinking that you were good enough for him. Simply because of his “preferences”, that were unbeknownst to him from the past. The fact that he made you feel this way was beyond gut wrenching and he just wanted to go back in time and tell you that the only type he has is you. That was one of the reasons that he clung to you the way he did. He looked to you as the model of what he could ever want in a partner. He always looked to you for your opinions and guidance because you were one of the best people that had ever came into his life. But instead of saying all of this, what he truly felt deep down, he didn’t say anything at all. He let you slip out of his grasp, and he didn’t know how to get you back. He didn’t even know if he was going to get you back. In that moment, he realized that his love for you went way beyond the general scope of being best friends. It wasn’t until 2 am that Harry was able to pick himself up from the lounge chair outside and go upstairs to bed. And even then, he still felt horrible. He was numb. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t end up going to bed until 5 am because he couldn’t stop crying and worrying. What made him completely break down was the fact that he couldn’t even call you. He couldn’t talk to the one person that always helped him through his dark times and picked him up. He knew what it was like to hit rock bottom, but this was an all-time low for Harry. 

That night was officially at top of the list for the worst nights of you and Harry’s lives. 

The next day was just as bad, if not worse than the last. You ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Harry couldn’t even get out of bed. The both of you were a mess and you didn’t know what to do. You avoided any type of communication with each other. The only time you and Harry interacted was to tell him that you were using the gate code to get your car from his driveway. After that, there was radio silence. The simple thought of each other could bring you both to tears. This entire ordeal didn’t last for just a day or two. It lasted for almost a week. The both of you were too emotional and broken to even function. You were using the time you saved up on your job to sulk around at home and stay inside your bubble sadness and heartbreak. And Harry was neglecting all of the things that he needed to do so that he could stay in bed and try to take his mind off of you. But after what was going on to be day 5, Harry couldn’t take anymore of this. It wasn’t because he was feeling horrible. It was because Harry knew that he broke your heart. He had the clearest picture of you at home, completely broken up because of him. He could almost feel your pain and he hated it. He needed to tell you his true feelings and beg you to forgive him. He couldn’t sit around anymore and not talk to you. You were not only his best friend, you were also the woman that he loved. In the days of him sitting at home and thinking, he realized that he didn’t give it a shot. He didn’t give you a shot. He was constantly chasing after something that was already his and right in front of him. 

After a long much needed shower, Harry got himself dressed and ready to go over to your place. On the way over, Harry made a stop to the florist that was in your direction and picked up the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could possibly buy. Not only were they your favorite flower, but you always seemed to gravitate towards the yellows because “they make my skin tone pop.” And they certainly did. Even remembering those little things could make Harry want to just burst into tears. For the rest of the drive to your apartment, Harry practiced all of the points he wanted to make out loud. He made sure that he remembered every last thing he wanted to say…and there was a lot. He was also preparing for the moment where you’d tell him that you didn’t want to talk to him ever again. Even though it may have seemed a bit extreme, he could understand why. He hurt you, and that’s the consequence that he’d have to pay. As he got closer and closer to your building, Harry could feel the butterflies in his stomach intensify and his lunch slowly make it’s way back up. He wasn’t feeling good at all, but he couldn’t turn his back on you and not try at all to redeem himself.

Between the time Harry got out of his car to when he was finally standing at your door was rough. As he got closer, his body got weaker. He was feeling a combination of embarrassment, sadness, anger, and worry. These feelings were so strong that he had to take two minuets before knocking on your door to stop himself from either throwing up or crying. Eventually he was able to get himself somewhat together and finally knock on your door.

When you hear the knock, you were sitting on your couch with your fluffy bathrobe on (that just so happened to be the one Harry brought you during one of his trips to Italy) with a pint of ice cream in hand, watching whatever was on the tv at the moment. You wanted to ignore the knock all together and just focus on your ice cream and the tv but you didn’t want to leave the person at the door hanging. So you reluctantly sit the cup down and you drag yourself to the door. When you look out through the peephole, your anxiety in that moment skyrockets. What in the world was Harry doing at your front door?! Even though you looked like an absolute mess and you didn’t want to talk to him in that moment, you still open the door for him.

When the door swings open and he sees you the waterworks begin all over again. He could see how puffy your face was from crying and how disheveled you looked and he hated it. He could feel the warm tears bubbling up in his eyes, but he was trying to do his best to keep them back. The two of you just stand there before Harry decides to talk. 

“M’so sorry Y/n.” That’s all he could say. He wasn’t just apologizing for what he said or didn’t say. He was also trying to say that he was a sorry person. It took him losing you for what felt like an eternity to really see how amazing you are and how much you contributed to his life.

“Wanna come in?” You ask him, stepping to the side to let him into your apartment. In that moment Harry just wanted to scoop you up into his arms and never let you go. He wanted to feel your warm and happy disposition that was now being clouded because of him. He wanted his Y/n back. When he walks inside, he quickly kicks his shoes off at the door and follows you into the kitchen.

“I got these for you.” He whispers, sitting the large bouquet on the counter and sitting on the other side.

“Thanks.” You whisper back to him, sending a soft smile his way. You wanted to almost to reassure Harry that you weren’t mad at him anymore. You were just sad and heartbroken. You never had feelings like these in such a large magnitude before. And because of this, you weren’t expecting any of what happened.

You silently turn away from him to grab the two vases you had in the cabinet and you sit them down on the counter in front of Harry. 

“I’m sorry if I overreacted on Friday. I just…” you mumble, beginning to unwrap the pretty flowers that were laying on the counter. You were trying to get your thoughts together but it was so hard. 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It was all my fault for not saying anything or acknowledging you.” When he says that, your breaths become shakier and a tear slips from your eye. You continue to keep your focus on the flowers as you try to compose your next sentence in your head. You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t even notice Harry coming around to your side of the counter. He softly pulls your hands away from the flowers and he pulls you into his body.

 That was the moment you needed. You thought your release was over the past few days but they were only building up to this. Feeling his arms securely wrapped around you was the only thing you wanted or needed from him. Feeling and hearing your cries only made Harry cry too. The both of you just stood there in your kitchen holding each other as you both poured your hearts out to each other through your tears. This time, not saying anything was saying everything. The both of you could feel what the other was feeling and wanted to say. It was like a large weight was lifted off of you both. After a few more moments of crying and being in your arms, Harry needed to get one thing off of his chest. When he pulls away from you he cups both of your cheeks in his hands and he looks right into your eyes. He wanted to make sure that you knew that he meant every last word that was coming out of his mouth. 

“I can’t even explain how sorry I am Y/n. You mean the world to me and I can’t even fathom the idea of not having you in my life. Seeing you completely broken the other night haunts me everyday and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that. After not having your in my life, even if it was only a few days, I realized that I can’t live without you. I’ve spent so much time and energy looking for my match when I didn’t even bother to look right in front of me. The only type that I have is you. You’re absolutely stunning, inside and out. I feel like a proper dick for making you feel like you weren’t good enough for me. It’s me who’s not good enough. I let you down and I’ll never forget that. You’ve never left my side in the past 3 years and I couldn’t even give you a simple answer. I love you so much and I’ll never stop.” When Harry says this, the knife that was once burrowed in your heart was gone and the wound is patched up as if it never happened. Sure it’ll take time for it all to completely go away, but this was a hell of a good start. 

“I love you so much.” You whimper, feeling another heavy round of hot tears cascade down your face. Harry then pulls your head towards his and presses a long, warm kiss right onto your forehead. That, along with his previous words got rid of the clouds. You were happy again. Your once full sponge was now empty. This meant that you could fill it up again, only this time with feelings of love and happiness. You could finally retire from building walls around yourself and continue experiencing the good that came from being vulnerable. 

Masterlist

[kirislut]

HEY WOW 500 IS AMAZING U SHOULD BE SO PROUD😽 can I request backyard boy with Tamaki amajiki thank you

“backyard boy”

a/n: thank you!! also i got carried away and ended up writing a lot...idk how it even happened ack and it doesn’t follow the song exactly but uhm oops 💀

song prompt: “backyard boy” by claire rosinkranz

warnings: none!

taglist (open): @katsushimaa @meliorist-midoriya @animatedarchives @softieshoto @bbakougo @grow-a-smile-for-a-while @finndaydreams @deephasoceanmagic @nieve-blancas @bunnythepipsqueak

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

dancing and music was something you’ve always loved. to be able to let yourself go to move and dance around carelessly. it was like an ordered chaos, while you could move any way you wanted you still followed the beat. it was your form of freedom and expression ever since you were young. it was actually how you met your best friend, tamaki.

when you were in third grade, you were outside just dancing around to the music coming from the radio you brought outside. you were just having the time of your life, letting you body go as you smiled and swayed to the music. you only stopped when you saw dark blue hair through a gap in your fence.

being curious you walked over and tried to find a gap to see who was on the other side of the fence. you once overheard your parent talking about how the people had moved out, but it seemed that new people had moved in already.

you struggled for a bit, trying to find a good place to look but the hair was gone. maybe you had just imagined it? you didn’t think much of it, since your parent called you in to eat just after. but a few days later you were outside again, dancing and just enjoying the music from the radio.

once again you saw the hair, and this time an eye! but once you made eye contact it disappeared again. so now you were determined to find out who it was. and being the imaginative third grader, you can up with a simple plan.

so the next day you brought the radio out and let it play like usual. but this time you brought out a stool so you could peek over the fence to finally see who was watching you dance.

you waited until you saw the dark blue hair again, quickly you scrambled to climb the stool. peeking over you saw a boy who looked to be the same age as you, “hi!”

poor boy nearly died on the spot from the sudden intereaction. he looked up, surprised to see you from over the fence. however he didn’t say anything, just frozen on the spot from being spot.

“my name is (l/n) (y/n)! do you like to dance too? i saw you watching before! what’s your name too?”

little did you know that that intereaction would blossom into a deep friendship. it took time for tamaki to be able to properly talk to you since he was shy but you brought him out of his shell pretty well.

whenever you would play music he would come outside and the two of you would play together. he never danced until you taught him to. even then he didn’t really boogie down, just swayed to the beat with you. but you were just glad to have a dancing buddy.

it became routine from there on for tamaki to climb over the fence and hang out with you as music played. you even met mirio thanks to tamaki. but sadly you guys didn’t go to the same elementary school so hanging out usually took place in your backyard.

even if you wanted to, you guys couldn’t dance together forever. when tamaki told you he would be going to u.a. you knew that hang outs together would be limited since he would be training to become a hero afterall.

it was rough at first, you missed your friend and now crush. you knew that he would come home exhausted from training and busy with homework, but tamaki still tried to be with you whenever he wasn’t beat or was free from homework.

it became less and less frequent, and by his second year in u.a. it completely stopped. you would still catch glimpses of him but it was nothing more than a quick glance. it hurt you to think that he had forgotten about you, but he was busy and there was nothing you could do about that. becoming a hero was nothing easy. even so your backyard boy still had your heart. childhood crushes were never an easy thing to let go. your feelings were still present, just in the back of your mind.

you were currently in your backyard, just like the good ole days, but instead of dancing freely you were practicing a routine for your upcoming audition. while tamaki pursued his passion of heroism by going to u.a. you were chasing after your love of dancing by trying to get into a dance college.

music played from your speaker as you went through the motions of your routine. everything was going smoothly except there was a transition you couldn’t get down. your footing was always off each time you tried to do it. eventually you just became frustrated with yourself, stopping the music and sitting down to try and chill out.

however sitting wasn’t helping, but you knew what would. you played your dancing playlist on your speak and got up, getting a feel for the music first before letting the movement come naturally to you.

usually tamaki wouldn’t be at home, since u.a. established dorms, but he was allowed to go home after coming back from a dangerous mission. he sitting in his room, working on an assignment, when he suddenly heard music coming from outside.

he was suddenly filled with nostalgic memories from when he was younger, remembering how he would wait to hear music so that he could hang out with you. a realization dawned on him in that moment, you had to be outside. but another dilemma came to mind, how was he supposed to muster up the courage to talk to you again after so long.

after a minute of internal conflict he decided me might as well say something, part of him really missed your presence. tamaki made his way out of his room and went straight to the fence separating you both. as usual he peeked through the same hole in the fence to see you dancing around.

he felt his cheeks flush immediately, it had been a while since he had seen you properly. were you always this cute? he also noticed that your dance movements were more refined and calculated than just swishing you’re body around. you really blossomed into an amazing dancer, tamaki was completely transfixed in your movements.

he was always mesmerized whenever he watched you dance, he felt like a moth drawn to the flame of your movement. but he knew if he tried to dance like you he’d just crash and burn, dancing wasn’t his forte afterall. but he was fine with that, as long as he could watch you.

tamaki was caught up thinking about you, while watching you, that he didn’t notice that you were staring back at him.

“tama? what are you doing here?” your head cocked to the side, but embarrassment was evident on your face. before you weren’t shy about your dancing, but know it was different since your now crush was watching.

tamaki’s cheeks immediately flared up from being caught, it felt like the first time you guys talked again. “(y-y/n) sorry i didn’t mean to creep i just...” poor tamaki just struggled, how was defeating a villain twice his size easier than talking to you?

“tama it’s fine! i’m just glad to see you again it’s been so long, hop over let’s chat like before!” your enthusiasm came easy, but that didn’t stop the butterflies from rampaging in your stomach.

the shy male just nodded and easily jumped over the wooden fence, landing with ease. he stood there, the moment awkward as neither of you spoke. both of you were just admiring the other. just like how tamaki noticed the changes in you, you noticed the changes in him.

he was taller now, and even if he stood slightly curled in on himself you could still see the muscle he built up over the years of training hard. he changed from the cute, little boy into a strong, handsome man. but you couldn’t just oogle at him forever sadly.

“want to dance with me?” you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. well that wasn’t true, there was so much you wanted to say and ask but you just couldn’t figure out where to start. so might as well and indulge in your nostalgia and dance like in both of your younger days.

tamaki, even though was very nervous about his dancing skills, nodded curtly. besides, how could he say no to you? especially after seeing you smile so brightly, almost brighter than mirio’s smile, when he accepted.

you resumed the music, bobbing your head lightly then starting to sway and shimmy to the beat. tamaki however stood there, clueless and tense. they never him dancing at u.a. so he wasn’t sure how to jump in like you easily could.

lucky for him, you saw his hesitation and reached your hand out to him. “come on tama, even if we look silly well he having fun right?” again, how could he deny you? so he slipped his hand into yours, allowing you to pull him closer and also taking his other hand.

you bopped your head to the beat and tamaki did the same, just in a more rigid fashion. he was doing his best to follow along, it had been more than three years that last time he danced with you.

you started to pull and push his arms along with the song, shimming your shoulders back and forth as your own form of movement. tamaki was slow but eventually he got the hang of it, thanks to you.

after two songs you guys meshed together seamlessly, sure it was just the two of you sloppily dancing around each other while performing silly dance moves. but it was just pure joy and fun.

tamaki decided to do something bold, for once, and twirled you around. you smiled as you felt the air swish around you, but when he pulled you back to him. back in his arms, you were suddenly being bombarded by those previous butterflies.

for a moment the world held its breath as the two of you got lost into each other’s eyes. once again tamaki felt like he was being drawn to you, he didn’t even realize he was subconsciously leaning in closer and closer-

“tamaki! i need you for a minute!”

the moment left as quick as it came. the both of you pulled back from each other, faces flushed and hot from the prior tense atmosphere. “i need to go back now...” tamaki’s eyes lingered in the ground, a force taking over his lips. he didn’t want to leave already, he didn’t even have the chance to try and talk to you.

“right..” you sighed sadly as you watched him, you also really didn’t want him to leave. he just came back, you weren’t letting him slip through your fingers again. “hey tama, promise me we will dance again soon ok? and we still need to catch up after so long! just promise i’ll see you again ok?”

tamaki finally lifted his gaze back to you, seeing you standing with your pinkie held out to seal the promise. he really couldn’t deny you at all, but he didn’t want to anyways.

he nodded, a small smile on his face as he wrapped his pinkie with yours. you both squeezed your pinkies together then released, letting the hands return to each of your sides.

“bye tama!” you waved goodbye to the male as he hoisted himself on top of the fence, he looked back at you and just smiled shyly before pushing himself over and landing in his backyard. even though your time together was short, you knew you would see your backyard boy again soon. a promise was a promise afterall, and you intended to keep it. no matter what.

[fightingdiamond]

KCON LA 2017 fanaccount!!

part 2: more Seventeen + the concert, ft. SF9, VIXX, and D&E :)

(disclaimer: none of the videos linked in this post are mine, credit to their respective owners!)

I was on twitter looking at (other people's) pictures from hi-touch and I realized I don't remember touching Seventeen's rings??? Lol it's a weird detail, idk. Maybe the angle of my hand wouldn't have put me in contact with their rings anyway, but I don't remember feeling the rings. Oh well 😂

Also this is super random, but I took a class spring quarter on learning and memory and this hi-touch experience has been just a perfect real-world example of how human memory is so fickle 😂😂😂 I was looking back at the videos I filmed of myself talking to my sister after the hi-touch and there’s some stuff in there (ex. I said that I remembered looking at Seokmin, Mingyu, and Seungkwan’s faces) that for the life of me I cannot recall now 😂😂😂 that’s how the brain works I guess lol

Anyway, some more things from the Seventeen session and then the concert!

-Seungkwan was asked to sing his favorite pop song and he sang an Adele song (When We Were Young I think). I was LIVING! I love that boy's voice and I'm so glad I got to hear it.

-Vernon rapped a bit and it was so hype!! Omg but before he started rapping, he and Seungkwan just kinda looked at each other for a few seconds like they were giving each other support or something?????? Idk but it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, I love verkwan ❤️❤️❤️

-BUT THEN WONWOO SANG TOO AND I LOST IT oh my god. His voice is so good, I was in heaven. What I wouldn't give for a Wonwoo solo debut 😍😍😍

-they were asked who the mom and dad of the group are and Mingyu was like (of course) Coups hyung and Jeonghan hyung!!! And Coups pulled Jeonghan in for a very cute hug but I'm laughing because I'm pretty sure Jihoon had a look of mild disgust on his face 😂😂😂 the eternal jeongcheol vs jicheol struggle, y'all 😄

-Seokmin got carried away and threw the die at the crowd like it was a concert and I think it may have almost hit a staff or something 😂 he was so flustered! He kept bowing and apologizing, it was so funny 😅

-Jeonghan was asked to do aegyo. You can imagine how that ended 😂 I cringed so hard but I also felt so much love for him in the same instant. It's a unique experience 😂

-MINGYU WAS FORCED TO DO A SEXY DANCE I'M STILL SCREAMING/CRYING/LAUGHING. He's so shy and bashful, oh my god, he's so precious 😍 I can't remember if this was before or after he rolled the die, but his face was so priceless when the members ruthlessly pushed him out to the front. He was like W H A T WHY ME????? I love Kim Mingyu, my overgrown human puppy 😍 also though I'm shook because whenever Mingyu dances, it just gives me flashbacks to when Kai from EXO was my ultimate bias 😂 they're so similar!!! But this isn't the place to talk about Kai haha. Mingyu was adorable! He was doing bodyrolls really shyly, almost resignedly lmao, and every few seconds he'd straighten up and shake his head and beg for mercy with his puppy eyes. Seungkwan stepped up partway through and put his hands on Mingyu's abs and was like HERE, YOU HAVE TO MOVE THIS PART 😂😂😂 I was like, Seungkwan, let your hyung live!!! Lmao. (Altho Seungkwan's actually 97 line because his birthday is early? Anyway.) I also noticed Wonwoo laughing his fkin ass off at Mingyu's misfortune. What a terrible boyfriend (kidding!!!) 😂 (tbh I probably ship gyuhao more now, Minghao already wrecked my bias list anyway, what's another wrecked list)

-before the game, Jihoon was asked to give advice to fans who are thinking about pursuing music/music production. It was really sweet! He basically said, "A lot of people think it's really hard to start making music, but just keep working on it, don't give up, and make lots of songs that you can show the world."

Okayyy now on to the concert! I actually bought two support banners (Seventeen and VIXX) but since I was sitting pretty far back, I'm pretty sure they didn't see me 😂 that's ok, I heard Seungkwan saw the banner that some of the floor people were holding up so at least he saw it! Also I didn't have a light stick (only a small glow stick) because I'm silly - next time, I swear!

They brought Coups, Vernon, and Joshua out as special MCs and I lost it omg. Minghao may have stolen my heart but Coups is still the captain of this frickin' ship! I love him 😌 Mingyu also came out later as an MC (replacing Coups). I was looking at him during one of his MC parts and like wooooow he is TALL. His legs are literally miles long, it's breathtaking.

I think Hansol made the biggest impression on me out of the four of them; he was so beautiful and did a really good job of making his lines sound smooth and not scripted. That boy was born for show business, I swear. (As an aside, Jisoo's English sounds super sarcastic to me????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 idk maybe I'm just not used to him speaking English unless it's some meme-worthy occasion. Or it's his valley accent?? No idea haha, but he drawls his words a lot and it's really amusing to listen to.) Hansol also frequently went off script to say sweet things (and correct the script's lackluster choice of words on at least one occasion, lmao). Like, there was a part where they wanted to get the audience to kinda do a random play dance, and the script was like "let's stretch first, stretch your arms and legs" and Vernon added "you can't get injured and stuff!!" He was so sweet 😍

Speaking of the script, during SF9's talking portion (they opened the show), I was looking for the teleprompters but didn't see them until later. At first I was like "wow, their English is really good!" but then I was like, wait, is there a teleprompter? Lol. As the show went on I suspected there was a script, because there were subtitles on the big screen at the same time as (sometimes even before) idols were talking and I was like, ok, translation technology ain't THAT good. The point I'm tryna make in the end is that a) that's how I know Hansol was going off script and b) Seventeen - who closed the concert btw, what gods - barely had a script. It was just really free-flowing and genuine and they were interacting with the audience and it was amazing. You could tell they loved being with all the fans and they really commanded the stage and made it super fun. Seventeen are literal gods, when will your faves. (No hard feelings please!! Lmao it's all in good fun!)

Anyway back to the show lol. I love SF9 and they deserve the world omg. They're SUCH good performers; their choreo is amazing and their songs are great!! Their energy on the stage is incredible, even when they were just talking, and everyone should Iove them 😍 they performed Fanfare, Jungle Game(?), and Easy Love. Their English is seriously really good, even considering the teleprompter! It didn't sound like they were just reading off a script at all; idk the word for it in English but the way their sentences flowed was very authentic and I know they must have tried really hard to practice their lines for their American fans. Everyone please stan SF9 😍

I'm really sorry but I'm gonna gloss over Cosmic Girls and Girl's Day - I'm not into either of them but of course they did really well! Girl's Day really owned the stage with I'll Be Yours, Something, and Ring Ma Bell. Some of the girls in Cosmic Girls seemed a bit tired, so props to them for still pulling off a great performance with Happy, I Wish(?), and Secret!

Now, Cosmic Girls' cover of BTS' I Need U is the kinda content I'm here for!!! I don't like Cosmic Girls' usual cutesy concept because it attracts some really creepy fanboys and I feel that it doesn't show off their real talent, so it was really refreshing to see them killing a guy group dance. I think Cheng Xiao did a flip! I'm assuming it was her 😅

SF9 covered Sorry Sorry after them and then it transitioned seamlessly into Super Junior D&E - great planning, y'all 😏 the atmosphere in the audience was so hype!! They were flashing Super Junior's stats on the big screen and it was so easy to forget that I'm not even into Super Junior anymore 😂 I'm still disappointed with the members who have been unapologetically and/or repeatedly problematic (and smh @ Eunhyuk's dreads at the concert, but ya can't spell smh without SM I guess), but I can't help but feel proud of Super Junior for being responsible for kpop's initial surge of international popularity 😊

Fun fact, I went to SMTOWN NYC 2011 and saw Super Junior there. It's really amazing that Donghae and Eunhyuk are still so active in the industry, five and a half years later! Both of them, but especially Donghae, came onto the stage like they owned the goddamn place. I'm blown away by how handsome Donghae still is! He's aged a bit since I last saw him, for sure, but it's a great look on him. He's so handsome, oh my god. The two of them did Growing Pains, I Wanna Dance (Korean version, which I didn't know existed), another song from their album I think, and the classic Oppa Oppa. It was lit 🔥 they were so sweet too, they kept apologizing for "taking so long to see you again" and thanking the fans for waiting 😭 I'm not crying, you're crying!

VIXX was so powerful! I'm glad they didn't perform Dynamite LOL no offense but that's my least favorite of their title songs 😂 they did Shangri-La, Black Out, and Fantasy! Jaehwan was so loud holy heck lol. He's basically Seokmin in five years, I swear. (Speaking of which, I can totally see D&E being soonseok in ten years 😍) I got so excited when Hyuk sang too! I still remember when he was an awkward smol 😌 but Hakyeon will always have my heart ❤️ there was a part in Shangri-La where he was supposed to be serious but couldn't hold back a smile, so he covered his face with his fan 😂 it was the cutest freaking thing 😍

They did a "piñata" game where a random mission popped up on the screen (the choices were aegyo, photo time, sexy dance, random play, and proposal). They saw the proposal choice and started joking about it - I laughed so hard when Hyuk threw himself on his knees and was like N, MARRY ME! And Hakyeon was like SURE! 😂 his English was so freaking sexy 😂

oKaY and now for the moment we've all been waiting for......say the name (SEVENTEEN)! 😍

They made their first appearance with unit performances and I was like OH MY GOD MINGHAO WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT!!!! In the video that they did for KCON previously, they were ~speculating~ about what special performances they would do, and Minghao was all like, well, we do have three units 😏 so proud of my boy for tellin' it like it is!!!

Performance unit came on with Swimming Fool and I screamed so loudly omg. I've been waiting to see this choreo since forever!! And as a newly reborn Minghao bias I was living for every second he appeared on the big screen 😍😍😍😍 I was a little sad though because Hoshi's been showing off this choreo at fansigns for MONTHS and I just know he's been so eager to perform it, but he couldn't make it 😭 It was also compounded during the parts where the other three blatantly left Soonyoung's spot empty. Like, ok, there's a hole in the choreo, I guess there's a hole in my heart too now. This is fine.

But before we go down the rabbit hole of "I miss Soonyoung so much I'm gonna cry" VOCAL UNIT KILLED ME. Habit is literally my favorite vocal unit song, second only to We Gonna Make It Shine but Jesus, there's no way I'm ever gonna hear that live unless I make it to a Seventeen concert (GOD, I hope they still perform that song in later tours). Joshua and Jihoon and Jeonghan all sounded so angelic and pure and then I literally burst into tears when the chorus hit - that's a huge compliment coming from me, I never cry. Seungkwan my baby boo 😍 and then Seokmin too, omg. I love vocal unit 😍

Then vocal unit left and I was like oh no. OH NO. HIP HOP UNIT. I was actually expecting If I but then it was Check In and I was shook! They showed up in the middle of the audience too and I think I literally would've died if I had been near them. I love hip hop unit 😍 also - and I say this like I'm surprised, and I honestly kind of am, and I really shouldn't be but - Wonwoo is so. hot. Holy shit man, like I always thought Mingyu was the (slightly) better-looking out of the two of them but holy shit, Wonwoo's stage presence is unbelievable. I was halfway across the stadium and I could feel his charisma. Believe me, I don't throw around the word "hot" lightly. Wonwoo had me seriously shook. He's so hot. I can't believe middle school Wonwoo blossomed into this gorgeous, brilliant performer. True art right there. He was also really smiley when he wasn't busy being hot and I was living for it omg. I love Wonwoo's smile so much and I hadn't seen enough of it lately 😍😍

As the concert went on I was confused as to whether Seventeen was gonna come back and perform as a whole group or not because everyone else had been doing 3-4 songs and I was like "was that Seventeen's three songs??? Nooooo" but then it turns out they were closing the concert!!!!!!! Seventeen are gods I tell you, literal gods 🙌🏽

Oh my god, the fanchants were so loud and I've never been prouder to be part of a fandom. As we were waiting for Seventeen to come on, they were playing this heartbeat sound over and over and in the silence between heartbeats people started chanting SEVENTEEN! SEVENTEEN! I got chills 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I hope our boys heard us!!!!! (Click here to see it!!!!!!!)

As an aside, somewhere around the unit performances I noticed that a lot of the idols weren't singing live. The rappers had the big handheld mics which are supposedly better for actual live sound, whereas most of the other idols had the small mics taped to their cheeks. I mean, clearly I'm pointing this out because I, as a singer, appreciate it when people sing live, but I understand that this is a concert and the focus is more on the performance overall (i.e. the dancing and energy). I still really enjoyed everyone's performances of course!

HOWEVER! Seventeen was an exception, as usual! Not only did they freakin' kill their whole set and get the audience really hyped, almost all of them had the handheld mics and even those who didn't, I'm pretty sure they also sang live (lookin' at you, Chan and Hansol. I love it when my babies sing 😍). Also, shoutout to performance unit for singing live AND dancing like woooow, step aside vocal unit! 😅 I've said this so many times already but I'll say it again: Seventeen are LITERAL gods. I couldn't be prouder of my boys ❤️

Lol I also remember that everyone was speculating about what songs they were gonna do and there were so many names being thrown out, but between the special unit performances and the group set, I think Seventeen managed to surprise us all! As expected of our boys 😍 They came on with Don't Wanna Cry first, of course, including the cool extended intro that I love! Seokmin got Soonyoung's line and I screamed omg. I miss Soonyoung 😭

After Don't Wanna Cry the lights dimmed but I could see them getting into their next formation. When I recognized the pinwheel formation I LOST IT oh my god. ROCK!!!!!!!!!! Rock is one of my favorite songs and I'm so glad I got to see it live. I bet you they chose to do Rock because of the 360 stage. Seventeen back at it again with how considerate they always are to their fans ❤️ I wanna say Chan got Hoshi's lines? I'm not entirely sure but of course, the performance was amazing! I felt a twinge in my heart at the hole in the choreo where Soonyoung should've been but that's ok 😭

(I feel that it should be noted at this point that Soonyoung is N O W H E R E near the top of my bias list?????? lolololol I love and miss him so much though 😅)

Hearing all of them speak English during their talking portion was so nice. Everyone's English is so good! Mingyu especially had me shook because his English always goes from 0-100 REAL FAST. Seungkwan was so excited!!!!! I love seeing Seungkwan on stage, he's totally in his element there and he's a master at hyping the audience. Also Seokmin was loud af lmao whaddya expect 😂

Speaking of being considerate, Seventeen actually surprised me by greeting both sides of the audience! They did their "say the name! Seventeen!" greeting to my half of the audience first (the diamond/platinum/P1 side), but then they freaking TURNED AROUND and repeated their greeting to the other half of the audience! It doesn't sound like a big deal but no one else even did that! They're so sweet, I love my boys ❤️❤️❤️

They also did the piñata game and got random play, so they were just jamming out to the songs that came on. It was really cute! Mingyu and Minghao were in the corner farthest from me just off in their own little world 😍 I love gyuhao, they're so sweet with each other 😍 Mansae came on in the random play too and it was so amazing watching everyone do the dance with them!!! (Click here to see it!!!!)

Ah also I just remembered! At the very beginning they had all the groups come on stage to wave at the fans and stuff. Seventeen came on and were waving at the fans and then they were supposed to walk to the other side but I guess performance unit missed the memo??? LOL it was so cute! Vocal and hip hop units were starting to walk to the other side and performance unit was looking around all confused before Minghao grabbed Chan and dragged him along as they followed the rest of the group. Later it looked like Minghao was saying something to Jun too, almost like he was nagging him, I was living 😍 I love performance unit! Also during that part Jihoon and Seungcheol were standing next to each other and I for sure saw #interaction 😏 I need more jicheol appreciation in my life ok?

Speaking of my boys getting lost, Vernon, Josh, and Coups did the same thing 😂 after their first MC portion finished the lights went down but I could see them still standing there like uh......where do we go......they were so desperately trying to play it cool 😂😂😂 and then Vernon, I think(?), started walking to one side, before they all realized they were supposed to be going to the opposite side and scurried off 😂 such cuties!

Before their talking portion ended the staff gave them those like, air cannon things stuffed with shirts so they could shoot them at the audience. Mingyu couldn't figure out how to work the thing at first, I cackled so hard (but also me too, Mingyunie, me too). Minghao also had one and he looked way too attractive with it, it was unfair 😳 Afterward when all the shirts were gone and the members reconvened, Seungkwan shouted really urgently "no one got hurt, right???" in Korean and Hansol repeated it in English 😍 I was so touched! It was obviously something that Seungkwan really really felt the need to ask, it sounded like it just burst out of him before he could contain it. He'd been speaking a lot of English up until that point and it was so sweet that he couldn't let himself wait to try to think of the words in English ❤️

As their talking wrapped up they were joking around about their next song, someone (maybe Seokmin? I don't remember) suggested Boom Boom but Vernon was like nahhhh. And Mingyu suggested Adore U and the fans did the point dance along with him! And then Seungkwan, I think(?), was like, "ah, we can't reveal it, but you know, our fans are VERY NICE" and I died 😂😂😂 Jisoo was all fondly exasperated and said, ok, you guys know what our next song is, don't you? 😂😂😂

Seungkwan was hyping the audience like he always does and shouted, "are you ready?!?!?" and the audience screamed! But then Minghao stepped up with this tiny smirk and was like, "one more time, are you ready?!?" I felt so blessed to hear him being so playful in English.

I had a split second of mourning over the fact that I wasn't gonna see Pretty U live but oh my god, Aju Nice was THE BEST choice for closing out the concert. I kind of wanted to cry at how much I loved seeing them perform the song but I was also so excited to see it!!! The Chinaline part had me swooning, I love how Minghao always smirks and gestures to Jun like he's reeling in his catch and I'm like yassss boi get it!!!! I'm so blessed I got to see that interaction with my own eyes. Woozi's part was so pure, I felt cleansed hearing him sing 😌 but I saw both Wonwoo and Seungcheol coming up behind him for their rap part and I was SO HYPED because I always watch the Aju Nice lives from when they were promoting it and Wonwoo wasn't there! I'm sad that Soonyoung wasn't there this time but at least Wonwoo was! 

Oh my god, and the part where Seungcheol switches his mic to his other hand just so he can hold Jihoon's hand during the double-line part at the end??? I saw it with my own eyes 😍

The camera focused on Jun for like a full five seconds at the end and I was like DAMN RIGHT! I hope Jun watches this video later and is satisfied with himself  😌

Afterward they brought out all the groups again to wave bye to the fans 😭 Jihoon showed up on the big screen and he was practically glowing, he was smiling and happy and radiant 😍 remember how I said he looked tired at the hi-touch? I hope he got some energy from performing and that the concert and seeing his fans made this hectic trip worth it!!! Lol I also saw them running around with a camera and I was like, this is going into Going Seventeen a few episodes from now, right? 😂

So yeah, the concert had me hella shook!!! I was so hyped that I totally even forgot that Seventeen hadn't done ANY of the songs I was hoping for LOLOLOL I really wanted them to do Pretty U, Shining Diamond, and Love Letter! But it's ok, they were great anyway 😍 I also feel like I remember some butt-touching happening???? I wanna say it was Mingyu but I don’t remember???? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I also forgot my earplugs lol I was afraid I was gonna go deaf halfway through but I'm fine now 😂 one of the people I went to LA with decided right after the concert that he was gonna find a ticket to Sunday's concert too because it was just so lit! I wish I could've, I really wanted to see Astro live, but I had work on Monday and I couldn't stay 😭

There will be a part 3 about seeing Astro!!! Please anticipate!