#like trust me ive been aware of this for a looong time

[hotshotshitshow]

I'm ngl going through my old art yesterday kinda shook me a little

Like to me. It's so so painfully obvious that I was just. Checked tf out mentally in one way or another. Idk how to describe it beyond just severely being inside of my own head and to me that is so so evident in the art I was making.

I don't have the words right now to describe exactly how I'm feeling on the matter (actually, I do have some words, but they're far too vulnerable for Tumblr)

Idk I look at the quality of the art I was making and it's like. (Don't ask me to clarify on this, just go with it) it is so so so obvious to me how autistic I am, but at the time I wasn't even aware that autism was a label that applied to me.

I really don't know how to articulate how I'm feeling beyond "my art from that time is glaringly obvious evidence of me feeling extremely othered and separated from every other human being and wanting acceptance so so so badly that it's painful to look at"