#like this weekend we have been away but the hotel room gave me a camper bed cos they couldnt provide a twin bed

[thebraxiatelcollection]

I don't do it on purpose (mostly), but some days I can literally run on two hours of sleep and forget to eat and still somehow to be productive but then I get home and wonder how I manage not to snap at anyone until I crash.

[ourvalentinesnight-blog]

... meh.

this week has been long & annoying. 

there was some good parts - i went to comicon in boston w/ my dad & sister & saw some hella cute waiters at the coffee shop we went to & at the 99- that was pretty nice. legit- the waiter at the 99 was soooo handsome dude, he looked like a younger & more hipster version of brendon urie (if that’s possible) and he was just gorgeous. i got to meet that chick from overwatch - the woman that plays d.va - charlet chung - & ig that was kinda cool. it would have been a bit nicer if she wasn’t 2 hours late lol. two days ago i got to see some puppies at the pet store (i live in a smaller town, so it’s in one of the larger town/cites near mine) & there was this super super super cute puppy - he was a fluffy black and white (insert-breed-here) & he wAS TEETHING ON MY FINGER OMG- he was p r e c i o u s. too bad he was like, more than a thousand dollars. ;/ 

yesterday i skyped my two guy friends - patrick & sam - for like, 2 hours i think? it was really funny. my new backpack also came in, along with some new boots for school!! they’re dr. marten’s bc my dad insisted for me to get that brand, i guess? they’re this nice reddish brown color & i’m psyched to rock them on the first day! which by the way i’m not looking forward to lol 

i also covered my laptop in a shit ton of decals that my sister gave me & my laptop looks awesome now. i did the same w/ my speakers & dudeeee - one of my speakers specifically has a weed & a nearly naked lady gaga on the same side & it looks like jesus lmfao

now onto the baddd stuff. 

so i’ve been sleeping a lot lately. i mean, sleep is great. i just wish my body would just automatically wake up at 9 or something so i could actually do stuff during the morning & not eat breakfast at 2 pm like i did today. it’s probably bc i stayed up till like, 2 or so. i just don’t get why i’m always tired?? like i go to bed sometimes at 11 or so & i still sleep in till the afternoon ;( i should probably start setting alarm clocks in the am & stop going to bed so late. i just like sleep ig lolol

i kinda have a prob w/ one of my ‘friends’ & it’s really bugging me- basically, her & i have been friends, let alone been in the same friend group since 4th grade. it’s until 6th grade that she started ditching me & my friend (zoe is her name) for her boyfriends. she did that in 7th before i left to be home-schooled (that’s a long story) & she did it  m a j o r l y  in 8th grade, let alone throughout the summer. when we went to washington d.c. for a field trip at the end of march (a week after my birthday) she only hung out with her boyfriend (who was tucker at the time) & ditched zoe & her own partner, abby, the whole time. then when i tried confronting her about it in our hotel room (since we of course shared one) she just shrugged & completely disregarded our hurt feels. that was the more major time she did that.

over the summer, she had been dumped by tucker, & not even within a few days did she get a new boyfriend. he was at this campground she goes to during the summertime, so she only got to see him during the weekends, depending if he went or not. she once invited me to that campground w/ her, & it was fun at first. then she kept flirting w/ ANOTHER GUY WHO WASN’T HER BOYFRIEND & i’m p sure she was talking shit about me w/ some of her friends away from one of my own acquaintances i had met there & i. they kept looking at me weird & changing where they were gonna talk every two minutes. 

after a while of them doing that, they wanted to go to this place called “teen tower” which is just a treehouse only for teens. i didn’t feel like going, (bc y’know, her friends were kinda assholes to me) so i just waved them off. when we finally met up again, we were at the park right in front of her campsite. her, i, and two of her friends were just talking at the top of the slide - playing some game where we talk about the sexual encounters we’ve had. by the time it got to my turn, i asked, “with a boy or a girl?” & they gave me a confused look. then i said something like, “yeah, i’m bi.” & they just fucking jumped off the thing yelling about how disgusting that being bisexual was. being the sensitive child i am, i started crying, & my friend kept saying it was a joke, but she looked like she was embarrassed of me. she didn’t tell them off or anything or tell them to apologize to me when they came back for my ‘friend’. later that night she ditched me for all those boys while i waited outside until my phone died & i needed to charged. when i went back into her camper, her mom made me feel better by giving me some food & her little brother showed me some games on his ipad. when she got back, she got in trouble with her parents, & gave me the silent treatment the entire night. she even gave me the silent treatment in the morning, not making me feel any better. 

pretty much ever since then, she hasn’t been talking to me nor zoe. she keeps posting on social media & sending streaks.. but she’s just.. ignoring us. she also posted something on her spam account on insta about how she wished the friends in nh (which is where zoe, her and i live) were as great and amazing as the friends in ma were. (which is where the campground is that she goes to) i just don’t know. i don’t even know if she’s worth it anymore.. she just gets embarrassed of how bad my anxiety is & how i can kinda be a debby downer bc of that & how i tend to jump to conclusions or assume the worst to happen. i mean, my dad always used to say to me “assume the worst to happen & it’ll be way better than you expected” so that’s what i’ve been doing? i just wish she’d be more.. understanding about anxiety, & not get angry with us if we do freak out about little things... i don’t know. i can’t tell if it’s us or it’s her? i can’t tell if i’m not good enough for her and not good enough to be her friend, or that she’s just stuckup? *sigh* i just don’t know. 

listening to: true love cafe by nicole dollaganger (this song is sexual yet so calming hhhh)

eating: imma plan & get an apple or something. maybe celery & peanut butter?

drinking: water 

mood: confused, thinking too much 

[hijaysunray-blog]

Irene, Myself, and Me.

There is something like a feeling of betrayal when your vehicle gives out on you.  We tend to humanize our vehicles. Anthropomorphize them. Give them names. Pat the dashboard when struggling up that monumental hill. Talk them into giving us just a couple more miles when the gas line indicator starts inching into the dreaded “E” territory. 

Ask anyone who’s left a city, a lover, a bad situation, your vehicle is not just a means to get from point A to point B, but a savior. You learn to love their quirks and forgive their faults. They hold your high-school mix-tapes, your morning cups of joe, and the intangible memories of first dates, unplanned road trips, and your daily commute. Like it or not, admit it or not, there is something about your vehicle that creates a relationship and when they fail you, it’s hard not to take it personal. 

You’re supposed to be in this together. 

I met Irene like most modern relationships. I had been looking for awhile--had even gone on some dates to try things out with others but when I saw Irene I knew she was the one. She had so much going on--so many qualities that made me think, yeah, this is the one. The heart just knows. 

Irene lived in Baltimore. She had more experience with travel then I did. It wasn’t her first time around the block, if you know what I mean. She’d been to so many National Parks and she had the badges to prove it. She proudly displayed them for all to see. She had some flaws...needed some work--but they were forgivable. After all, nobody’s perfect. 

Yes, a 2002 Eurovan with a pop-up camper top, a table, a mini-fridge, curtains. Her miles weren’t low but she was solid beast. Mechanics were called to check things out, to assure that she was good-to-go...

Yes, Irene was the van for me. 

I left home with Irene on July 2nd. I spent the first days of my trip traveling across county visiting friends and family. With a destination of San Diego, eventually, I wanted to take time to see familiar faces, reconnect with those that I somehow had gotten disconnected from, and revisit old stomping grounds. I couldn’t leave the East coast without knowing I had tried and made the effort. Adventure is important but the histories and memories with true friends is equally important. 

So I ping-ponged from Western Maryland to New Jersey to Connecticut to Massachusetts to New York. My last stop on the friends and family tour was in Ballston Lakes, NY with my friends Adam and Maggy, their son Nick. Maggy, due with their second baby the following week, was kind to have a guest visit so close to her due date. With Adam at work, Maggy and Nick sent me off for my solo venture, waving to me as I pulled away from the driveway. 

And there I was. 

This was it. 

Solo time. First stop, Niagara Falls. Just me, myself, and Irene.  

There are certain levels of betrayal when it comes to a vehicle. There are the slight infractions that are easily fixable--a broken windshield wiper, for instance--is met with frustration, a shake of the head, a trip to the auto shop. Even larger issues such as a flat tire can be forgiven. 

What happened with Irene was a panic-stricken-why-have-you-forsaken-me moment. I had only known Irene for a short time, we were building trust, and she had so quickly done me wrong. 

About an hour into my drive, I was listening to the Lore podcast, enjoying the scenery, when Irene suddenly flashed the red thermometer light. Seconds later--white smoke streamed from the dashboard, the vents, everywhere...like my engine disappeared and a dry ice machine had taken it’s place. 

I manage to get Irene off of I-90. Popped the hood expecting...what? What was I going to do? I had no fire extinguisher. More importantly my automotive skills were lacking. So I opened the hood, looking over an engine that was equal parts spilled gatorade-green coolant and smoke. I knew this was more than just a simple overheating. I knew that Irene was badly hurt and my plans to make it to Niagara would be delayed. At the time, I didn’t know how bad. 

In a weird way, I feel like I’d feel better about the whole breaking down thing if I had done something wrong. Like this was some sort of retribution for some mistreatment. But I had done my best to show Irene respect and kindness and so this sudden and complete shutdown was so confusing to me. 

As a teacher who earned a master in teaching English to non-English speakers, I’m very self aware about word usage, vocabulary, and lingo when I’m teaching. I try to make sure that I keep my message simple so students don’t get confused. Speaking to a mechanic, I take on the role of those students I taught. There is an assumption that I know how an engine works and so while the mechanic explains things, I nod my head and think of all the things I need him to dumb down for me once he’s finished. I don’t know a water pumps from the radio nob. 

Essentially, this is my non-mechanic brain’s explanation of what happened to Irene: 

The bolts that held the water pump weren’t fastened tight enough and over the past few weeks/months they became loose, fell off, and caused the water pump to jump from it’s spot and reek havoc across the engine--destroying the drive belt and pulley and overheating the engine to hellish proportions. After replacing these parts, the bottom 3 cylinders still had no pressure and the car kept bumping and hitching. The head gasket was then assumed to be cracked. You all know, the head gasket, duh. It’s what connect the upper and lower portion of the engine. Because there is an upper and lower portion of an engine, right? 

The front desk attendant at the mechanics office said Irene was dead. 

“Do you want me to take you the bus station?” he asked. 

Yes, he basically said, you’re screwed, do you want to pack your tail in a bag or place it between your legs on your bus back home? 

I panicked in my mind for a moment. Was this it? Was Irene gone? Was this really the end?

The mechanic who worked on Irene said we could look for a new engine at the junk yard. Perhaps some Irene-clone died nearby and we could cannibalize her corpse for a new engine. 

“It’s expensive, but let’s do it,” I said.

The front desk attendant nodded. “But it’s Saturday afternoon. Nobody will be open until Monday.”

In my new zen like mentality I nodded my head. 

“Totally cool,” I said with clenched teeth. “Monday’s great.”

So I’ve decided that if I ever write a book about my adventures, It’ll be titled “Stranded in Syracuse.” I mean, in truth, it’s kind of hilarious to be stuck in this town. I have several friends who went to college here. I had considered to stop by the university to take some pictures--a funny jab that said, “Hey, you never thought this was going to happen?” Perhaps Irene knew this. Perhaps she wanted in on the joke.  

What do you do when your home is broken? Where do you sleep. I checked the hotels in the area and they wanted hundreds of dollars per night for a room. With a big bill looming, I didn’t want to stay in a hotel. So I just asked if I could stay in the mechanics parking lot while I waited. Surprisingly they said, “yes.” So for several days, as I waited for Irene to get repaired, I camped out in a mechanic’s parking lot, falling asleep to the sound of traffic on the on-ramp next door to the shop. It wasn’t so terrible. A parking lot is just a campsite without trees, right?

I filled my days the best I could. Thankfully I had brought a bike so I managed to bike around Syracuse. I went to the movies at a run-down mall, I went to the Erie Canal museum, I went to a show at a venue across the street from the mechanics. I even found a Gold’s Gym where I could work out and finally shower. So I kept myself busy. I decided that despite my betrayal, I wasn’t going to take this setback lying down--I would make the best of what I’d been given. 

After fretting all weekend--but playing it cool--an engine was found for Irene. Yes, a new engine. Well a new used engine.  Yes, it’s expensive. Yes, it’s crazy to buy it..Yes, yes, yes...I know.  But it’s too soon to cut this short. There are hopefully more than two weeks of memories to be made. Too many miles left to travel. Even though Irene gave up on me, I’m not ready to give up on her.

[chriscoleman]

Valentine's Backcountry Ski Trip

@ Scottish Lakes High Camp

February 10 – 14, 2017 Julia and I took a trip to the North Central Cascades between Leavenworth, WA and Steven’s Pass. 5 days in a rustic backcountry cabin with only the basic amenities. We packed all our ski gear, warm clothes, food, and swimsuits to explore the winter wonderland. The mountain pass to access the Scottish Lakes parking area was closed Friday morning. Rain on Thursday had caused ‘extreme’ avalanche danger which is a rare event. After dropping off Skye at Central Bark doggy hotel we pushed our luck and drove towards the road closure, refreshing our phones every few minutes hoping the WSDOT crews had cleared the road. No luck by 9am when we arrived to Monroe near Steven’s Pass. We discussed our options with the mountain host, Eric, and eventually decided to take a 3-hour detour through Leavenworth via Chumstick highway. It worked out and we arrived just after our planned pickup time. Sadly, the people who waited for the pass to open arrived just minutes after us. We loaded a suburban with chains on the tires to drive up the mountain. After 4 miles we got out and unloaded the SUV’s. The snow was falling hard now. 3 snowmobiles waited to carry us the remaining 4 miles to camp. It was an exhilarating ride with Kenzie. Her only instructions were to lean with her into the turns so that she could power up faster. The speed threw snow onto our goggles and froze our butts to the seat. Larkspur cabin was our home for 4 nights. Kenzie showed us the features – including the wood stove, fire starters, lanterns, brown water bucket, food boxes, and location of the outhouse. We started a fire right away to thaw our backsides – which took considerable more effort than I’d like to admit. Luckily we’d have loads more practice at perfecting the wood stove fire over the trip. Miso soup and homemade dried bananas fueled us for our first foray into the backcountry. We suited up to ski tour before dark. High Country road led out of camp into a wide open slope. The ridge was easy to summit, giving us confidence. Unfortunately the rain event on Thursday, caused by a temperature inversion (camp was 18F yet rain fell), created a thick crust on the snowpack. This resulted in 4 inches of powder - on top of an inch of ice - on top of 4 feet of powder. The crust was easy to break with the weight of a skier but made turning difficult. We battled down that ridge, put skins back on and hiked back to the top. 1 skillful turn got our confidence refreshed before returning to the main lodge at camp. Meeting other campers was a highlight of our trip. First we met Melody and Wally (staying with their son Preston) who had help build/paint parts of camp after coming for years. It seemed that everyone we talked to had been at High Camp every year for 20+ years. This definitely tells a story about the feeling around camp, a friendly atmosphere for sure. Taco dinner was perfect with fresh veggies and spicy beef. Then we stuffed our full bellies into swimsuits before heading to the hot tub. It’s an old school wood fired tub with room for 4. It was 110 degrees – surrounded by piles of snow. Kenzie gave us a hose of cold water to cuddle bringing the tub temp down closer to 100F. A full moon lit our path on the walk back to our cabin – which was super hot when we returned. The benefit is that all our gear was dried, I just had to sit by the door drinking my hot chocolate in my underwear.    The downside of a wood stove is that it needs to be stoked every few hours. Ours had about 3 hours of life before you had to re-start from scratch. We woke up at 11pm and 3am to keep our cabin warm (which we later learned that other people just put on more clothes to save wood/effort). Saturday the 11th started at 8am with loads of blackberries. We packed bags with lunch, water/tea, avalanche tools, puffy jackets, map/gps/compass, and other touring gear. Then stopped by the main lodge to ‘check out’. This was a safety precaution so people knew where we were going and when we expected to be back. It was nice to think that someone would come looking if we fell off the side of a mountain. Hiking up High Country road to Glacier Peak Viewpoint was a blast. Julia broke trail as we ascended up the winding road. Just less than a mile and 300 feet elevation gain we decided to rip our skins off (the fish scale like fabric we stick to our skis to allow us to travel uphill) and ski the Northern Exposure slope towards Wedding Point. Then reattached our skins to hike up the Southern Exposure ridge where it was incredibly wind swept. We bailed out and headed lower towards Roundabout trail which ended up being too flat. We poled along this trail until we hit the road that took us back to camp for lunch.

At camp we met Jared (splitboarder) and Lyss who had just tested the Wild Bill Hill and found it had the same nasty crust as we experienced. Rich, another mountain host, recommended we hike up Wild Bill, then over to Cowabunga / Shangrila for our afternoon tour. Julia again broke the fresh snow making a zigzag path up the steep slope. A half mile and 300 feet higher we attempted to ski Cowabunga run. It looked perfect from the top, we were so happy to have found this area… until our 3rd turn. The first 2 were powdery - then the 3rd was that crust. The steep north facing slope held no snow, only windswept crust that made it impossible for us to ski. We both fell in-sync before deciding to hike back up and find another way down. We ended up skiing down the way we came up, which wasn’t half bad. It’s just sad how bad the snow conditions made us look as skiers - it was like we were beginners on the bunny slopes all over again - Power Wedges and 2-turns-stops.

9 transitions from going uphill to downhill (skins on / skins off) on Saturday gave us lots of practice with our new skis, boots, bindings, and skins.

Wyeth, a friend from Seattle, was in the lodge when we returned. It was coincidence we both booked Scottish Lakes this weekend, only finding out a few days before arrival. His group of 5 were in the larger Foxfire cabin for 2 nights. We caught up and talked about our adventures - giving us ideas for Sunday. The potluck is a tradition at High Camp on Saturday evenings. We brought BBQ pork, baked beans, and coleslaw - which we prepped in our cabin before the 6pm dinner time. There were about 20 people there, each bringing a unique dish / dessert / drink. Crepes with nutella and unStuffed peppers were 2 favorites. We sat with our new friends Jared and his wife Lyss chatting about our animals and other adventures (they like to boat and dive). Then Wyeth’s friend found a guitar while the table of older people began to sing, there was even a shot ski at some point.

Sunday morning Julia lit the fire as I made sandwiches for lunch. We ate oatmeal / chia with the remaining blackberries before heading out into the snow. It was about 20 degrees, forecast to warm to 28 by afternoon. After our daily check out, where we filled our bottles with warm water/tea, we were hiking uphill by 10am (not the earliest start, but it’s vacation!).

Jirka trail took us through the woods to the top of Powderpuff slope. We ripped skins and skied the shallow powder, with pure bliss. Compared to previous turns these were the softest and therefore best so far. We actually do remember how to ski - what a relief.

Ridgetop trail took us from Powderpuff up to High Point at 6000 feet elevation, about 3 miles from camp. The way up was concerning because we could not easily ski down the up-track because of the angle + trees + snow conditions. Luckily Wyeth’s friends Aubrey and Luke came charging by and reassured us the downhill section from High Point was ideal - so we kept going. Lunch on the ridge was awe inspiring. Looking towards the High Meadows as we sat on the tips of our skis in hip deep snow with the sun shining bright is the stuff of dreams. The salami sandwiches weren’t bad either. The ski down was a highlight of our trip. Something I’d consider a double black in resort areas (steep trees with variable snow conditions) that we skied reasonably easily. Following Wyeth’s groups tracks helped with our confidence too. The slope became less steep although the trees became more dense as we continued to enjoy the turns. Totally stoked when we arrived at the Boundary trail that took us out to Picnic Point. I skipped the jump from the trail to the road (someone else didn’t) and we reveled in the view with tea. Finally a quick skin back up High Country road and down Powderpuff back to camp with tired legs.

New people had arrived at camp during the day. A snowboarder was hiking up a hill near camp, a dog running along the trail with snowshoer’s, and kids were playing in the snow. We met Roxy the labradoodle and her owners Chris / Nicky in the lodge. We informed Rick that we ignored his advice again by climbing to High Point - which became a theme of our trip.

Restocking the wood pile from underneath our cabin was a chore. Julia slipped through a hole in the floor and tossed logs up to me. In no time we were warm again, with our gear hung for drying. Then we hit the hot tub. Rebecca, who is dating Marc the host, arrived shortly after us. She works at a non-profit for protecting salmon in the Northwest, visiting with her father. The rest of the evening was totally relaxing. The chili was too spicy for me, but luckily we had plenty of chocolate to cure this problem. Julia read her book about the naturalist Alexander von Humboldt aloud so we could learn about this important impacts on the world we enjoy so much.  

Monday was another full day of touring, skiing, drinking tea, getting lost, and generally being adventurers. The one thing we didn’t do is ignore Rich’s advice. Although we originally planned to ski Okey Dokey to Bob’s Knob - Rich and 2 awesome ladies talked us out of it. Instead directing us towards Lake Julius, which had been one of our desired objectives anyway so having them tell us it was smart/possible was sweet.

The skin up High Country road to Picnic Point went quickly. I left my skins on for the slight downhill section while Julia decided to ski the half mile / 100 feet elevation loss to the meadow just before Lake Julius. From here we continued to follow the existing skin track that led uphill away from the lake, luckily we knew this with help from my GPS. Just before this trail that followed the summer route to Lake Ethel got steep we ripped skins. Our most risky / rewarding backcountry ski of the trip because there were no tracks to follow. We picked our way through trees back to the open meadow. Then Julia broke trail once again along Roaring Creek the final quarter mile to Lake Julius where we had lunch.

Hiking out was rewarding. Although it was uphill and our legs were tired - being in the woods is what we enjoy most. This new hobby of ski touring is something I can see us doing for a very long time. In the blink of an eye we were back atop Powderpuff, only 3 transitions this day (more of a tour than a skiing day).

Booking for next year went down as we checked in for the day. Campers get priority if they book while at camp so next February we’ll be doing the same thing (hopefully with less crusty snow). Then we finished the night with our hot tub soak where Rebecca joined us again. The water had just been refreshed so we were first to enjoy the cooler yet cleaner water as the wood stove puffed along.    

Lasagna (dehydrated) dinner was ideal / easy. We packed bags in prep for our Tuesday departure. Finishing the night with more reading’s from the Humboldt biography. Eventually starting/stoking the fire at 10pm, 1am, and 5am to keep our cabin cozy.

7am I woke up to the sound of squirrels on our roof. Julia had been watching their little footprints around our cabin all weekend. We finally saw the buggers jump from tree to tree and across the snow. One even did a dance for us - to look cute so that we would feed it. It didn’t work, but it was cute. Highlight of the trip for Julia.

We packed our bags and left them in the cabin. Went out to ski our last few runs before meeting the hosts with our stuff at mid-mountain by 2:30pm. I was slow to start, convincing Julia to drink hot chocolate with me in the main lodge until almost 11am. Our tour took us back to Glacier View Point where we saw tracks downhill. They looked soft so we followed - bringing us down to Wedding Point. Surprisingly nice set of turns despite everywhere surrounding being icy. The long break here gave us time to reflect on the wonderful / tough weekend as birds flew all around. It was everything we expected plus more. We skied Powderpuff one last time on the way out and rested at the main lodge until it was time to depart. It took us about 45 minutes to ski the 4 miles of road - mostly groomed by the snow mobiles. Big views the whole way, a perfect exit from our Valentines Day adventure.

The trip was a combination of type 1 and 2 fun, hard yet enjoyable. I left feeling refreshed and recharged (and sore). It’s amazing to see our skills as skiers / tourers progress. I love being outdoors with Julia, looking forward to our next trip to Scottish Lakes High Camp and beyond.

Pictures: https://goo.gl/photos/j435GrxWNbqC9v7A9