#like this is just unreal y'all

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Y'ALL

I just saw an article about this incredible photoshoot and I'm completely obsessed.

During covid restrictions, photographer Steven Haining was joking with some friends that "well hey if we all have scuba tanks we could all be breathing our own air during a photo shoot" and then was like wait hold on that's not a bad idea.

Flash forward, and he's doing a full photo shoot in Fathom Five National Marine Park.

Now please keep in mind that this park is in Tobermory, Canada, on Georgian Bay. It is COLD. The water temp is about 14 C (or 57 F) in the middle of July when they did this shoot. They shot for close to 30 minutes at a depth of 9.5m (32 ft) with the model, Ciara Antoski, having a support person nearby at all times to give her air. Everyone else is in full wetsuits or even dry suits and she has this pretty dress and a weight belt. I have been swimming in Georgian Bay. It is COLD. This is incredibly impressive and must have required intense training.

The results are breathtaking.

And safety first of course:

Link to the photographer's website:

I cannot find any links for the model Ciara Antoski but if I do I'll add them here.

Anyways. Figured this is the kind of thing tumblr might appreciate!

[bugtoast]

in the scenario where Mephone is friends with other object show hosts, do y'all think that he stays up at night trying to reassure himself that the other hosts are real?

[shallowseeker]

It’s kind of a gross misstatement to say Cas was simply a bad friend during the season 6 arc. Dean was also a jackass. He refused to even listen that Cas had his own problems to contend with in heaven and just insulted him (Baby in a Trenchcoat) or took him for granted and prayed when he needed some angelic boost like the time travel. It was only after months of this that Dean finally had a half-ass “Hey Cas, if you need any assistance with your heavenly war, let us know”. Dean and Castiel are both equally at fault for the initial breakup.

I'm not sure why I'm getting this particular question, but yup, I agree that the situation was complex.

One of Dean's legendary coping mechanisms/neuroses is to get prickly and mean when the going gets tough, and I love to talk a lot with regards to both the fighting/hunting and the parenting of Jack Kline.

For Dean and Cas, they're both deliciously Going Through It (TM) in season 6 in different ways, Cas dealing with paranoia via the fallout of Heavenly betrayal and Dean with his complicated feelings of displacement into civilian life.

I sort of miss the days of TV when people got to screw up this badly with one another, but not in such a way that it’s bludgeoning, mean-spirited cynicism, hehe. (((For example, I struggle to think of a modern era of SPN where Bobby's frustration and worry over Dean would boil out in this horrifying way: "You sorry--you're not a person," when in actuality, he's desperately begging Dean not to die, and it's coming out all wrong. Or Dean's indirect forgiveness of Cas, that Cas picks up on immediately by tone alone: "Bottom of the ninth...I'd rather have you, cursed or not.")))

But if we're talking about season 6, Cas is controlling most of the means of communication from the get-go, and the power is definitely weighted in his favor. He sets the tone for it as soon as his big heart leads him to abruptly flit from the car to go and rescue Sam. BUT it's also no accident that Dean's narrative nickname for Cas is SUPERMAN. A perfect, invincible superhero. Dean took him for granted, hero-worshipped him, and conceptualized him as perfect... something Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets reflects back in an off-key manner: "I thought he was perfect...he was a monster (and hurt my child)." The truth with Dean and Cas is not either extreme, however. ("That nifty metaphor has holes:" Cas was trying to save Sam from the get-go, on multiple occasions.) It's the humanity that's in the middle.

It's lovely! And to me, it feels so real, too. Maybe someone else can chime in, but I don't have any huge, complicated feelings about this except that I really, really like the disillusionment period on both sides!

“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” - Pema Chödrön

Love isn't baggageless perfection. It's understanding, forgiveness, resilience.

DEAN (in the dream state, to MARY): I hate you. (Deans voice breaks as tears run down his face) I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. (Mary continues to look away but seems to hear him) I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything.

[tubelight-404]

FIRST TIME GIVES INEFFABLE HUSBANDS VIBES AND I DONT THINK I CAN HANDLE IT 😭😭😭

[lostsoul1217]

⚠️WARNING⚠️

This post includes mentions of:

Rape

Sexual assault

Blog The Great Rouge

NaJ/Need and Jock AU

Mentions of children being sexualized and having NSFW art drawn of them

Again, Rouge as a whole warning, the person who made the PJ's Daycare AU

This entire post deals with dark topics and if I missed any warnings for the list, I apologize in advance.

What the fuck

. . .

I'm...

I fully expected for people to be hateful about this but no one is. Two people have literally said it brings up bad memories! What the fuck is this?!-

This comic is genuinely so problematic. I don't care that its "nostalgic" or whatever the fuck.

"Ignore the creator" till you realize that the Creator tried to justify rape.

Literally in the comic Goth rapes Pallette. Pallette is of course traumatized, a whole thing happens, amd Goth tries to kill himself. Then Palette's all like: "No I wanted to, I just wasn't ready, I wanted it which was why I didn't stop you."

. . .

What the actual fuck

She even fucking drew it happening, which is even worse.

Horror x Cross Chara in his child form is a thing. Btw there's art of them fucking as well.

Killer ships incest in the comic. Automatically, ew. "Nightmare x Dream is so forbidden" maybe cause their brothers. Blood brothers. They are siblings.

Also everyone in these comics are most likely under 18 because they are in highschool meaning the creator drew child porn. Child porn people. You fuckers can not be serious saying: "Let's just ignore the creator guys!"

Disgusting.

And before any mother fucker starts going: "It's just Gacha-" THERE'S PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THIS WHO ARE LIKE THIS! I can not. I just- How the fuck can people be like this? This isn't a situation where you can just remove a creator from the AU, the AU itself is so fucked that you have to rewrite everything from scratch. Even then I don't think many people can see the AU in the same way.

If I see one person saying that it's just pixles, that it doesn't affect reality, I'm going to scream. This comic and many others affected so many people in the Undertale community that even to this day people are still unable to even think of the damn things.

I can't. I genuinely fucking can't with people. One moment mother fuckers are being overly sensitive about shit and now they're pulling this bullshit! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE DO THIS? WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THINGS LIKE THIS, FICTIONAL OR NOT, ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE OKAY!?

Just might go insane, I can feel my sanity dropping. Dude I haven't even went into detail about this damn AU there's so much. All of the Rouge comic bullshit has so much.

[binch-i-might-be]

cool. it's after ten and I'm sitting here half asleep and starving. time to cook something I guess because the most incompetent restaurant of all time couldn't manage to get a pizza and some pasta here within four and a half hours

[amischiefofmuses]

Not to be a sappy fool but I've got that feeling again, just feeling right at home in a community, y'all are the fucking best moots ever and you can consider this a little kiss to the top of your head (or a hug/high five) for being so wonderful, talented and inspiring me to write.

[warningsine]

[anti-ao3]

[ID: Tumblr reply that says, "OP, I understand you're trying to reach as many people as possible, but could you please remove the tags on this post that aren't related to Palestine, Gaza, or your fundraiser? Using accurate tags makes it easier for people on Tumblr to find the content they want." /End ID]

"Excuse me, OP, can you please stop using MY comfort fandom tags to ask for donations to get out of a genocide?"

[artekai]

Did tumblr move the icons to the top of the post? :(

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

it's minecraft time bitches

[tathrin]

📽 action!: rank all six of the films (or three if you're a hater)

Answers for this LotR ask-game.

Ahh okay so at this point I have to confess something terrible: I still have not seen the third Hobbit movie. I'm sorry! I just couldn't do it. The fuckery of it all, especially in the second movie with Mirkwood and Thranduil and Legolas ("a lowly Silvan elf" what the FUCK what the fuck PJ WHAT THE FUCK), was just too much for me. Character-assassination is one thing, and I thought after Denethor I knew what I was going to be getting with Thranduil but NOPE! It was literal world building assassination and I just CANNOT.

Don't get me wrong, Lee Pace did an amazing job and actually seeing Mirkwood was amazing and it was genuinely delightful to see Orlando put those ears on again; but the OuTrAgE that filled my heart at the yeet-ing of what minimal canon we even have for the Mirkwood elves was just intolerable, and while I did mean to go see it, really I did, I just...couldn't actually get the motivation to go before it was out of theatres. I've heard the EE are better (less studio fuckery) so I'll watch them someday! Honest! I just...haven't. yet.

And as to the Lord of the Rings trilogy...man, I don't even know how to do this. In terms of which is the best film, or in terms of which one I enjoy watching most, or in terms of which on hits me in the heart hardest or...? I don't know if I can objectively rank my feelings about these movies even in my own brain because RotK ends with Into the West and I have FeelingsTM about the Undying Lands and Sea Longing okay. So the last scene of RotK at the Grey Havens is a fucking spear through the heart every time and I can't even describe the knot of feelings it engenders, and I think overall TTT may be my favorite but also it has Plot Issues that piss me off even more than the Plot Issues in RotK I think,...yeah, we're going to do this in terms of Film Crafting rather than personal favorites because I'm having too many feelings lmao. So! In order of most-well-done-movie to least:

Fellowship of the Ring

The Two Towers

Return Of The King

The Desolation of Smaug

An Unexpected Journey

[tekatonic]

guys you're actually so insane for this

this isn't shit that happens

like, what, i'm legit stunned !

[tvrningout-a]

making a complete 180 turn and thinking about chiyo having someone she can call at 2 am like " i can't sleep bc i've got writer's block driving me up the wall and this stinkin' chapter is due tomorrow -- do you wanna get ramen at the convenience store with me?? " and just late night escapades in general once the other person realizes chiyo is awake at ungodly hours bc she's a goblin who draws and writes whenever the inspiration hits. the intimacy of being very sleepy and tired but too stressed to actually sleep and going to someone for the comfort of company... honestly it really says something if you get to that point with chiyo :' )

[nny11writes]

Long rambly thing that spilled out on accident today. It's about self worth, and personal image, and writer's block, and probably a lot of other things too.

I'm definitely not in a great place today, but I promise I'm alright.

Sometimes I don't know what to write. It's hard to know if I'm making the right choice. People don't seem to like it. The things I love the most. Or if they do it feels fleeting and uncaring in a way. I wish that I could care less about it the way I used to. I miss the days when I would read every username on my kudo emails. I miss when I cared less about the optics of my stories doing well. I miss caring less about the dumb things. Because I've only come to care more and more about my writing and th eworlds I'm building. It's the shame and sham of becoming a better writer. Eventually you aren't writing just for you, you are genuinely writing for others and trying to gauge if what you wrote is enjoyable for most people. I like to spread joy and enjoyment and the lightness that comes with heavyness passing. I like to see the a-ha moments that people have when I write about something more obscure. I like that I've actively helped many people with my writing. I like that people have discovered they are ace or trans or nuerodivergent thanks to what I've written.

It's not a thankless job.

But sometimes I'm ungrateful all the same.

And doesn't that feel bad? To have a gift and a skill, something I had some natural talent for that I've honed over twenty years of writing into something much more engaging and impressive and enjoyable. Many people hate their writing, and I am grateful to not be one of them. I think I write well. I am just sometimes ungrateful for the love I've been shown and I think that's okay. It feels shitty. But I think it's okay.

Have I invested too much of myself into my writing? Should I stop for a while again? I took a multi year break once, I didn't read or write anything really during it. I had no fandom. Do I need that again? I don't think so, the idea makes me feel sad and icky. Not guilty though, which I think is also important.

Why have I invested so much into others expressing their feelings to me? Why do I now feel like I demand it?

It's easier to write when people interact, absolutely. When people actually respond to each chapter I post with long meandering comments that become threads it's inspiring to write more! Am I demanding response because I'm struggling to write? Or is it the other way around?

I don't know.

Writer's block is stranage that way, and mine has rarely been a block on all writing. So there's also that guilt and frustration that the things I can write don't always seem to be favored by others.

I used to only post stories one at a time, and I always finished them. Now I have so many unfinished stories that haunt me. Is that the problem? The tell tale hearts that beat not under my floorboards but inside my own chest? I'm haunted by myself, everyone is haunted by themselves, but god mine has become a poltergist rattling the chairs. Slamming the keys and jamming the buttons. Finish me, finish me, finish me. I want to. I promise I want to. But when I hold those old works once more in my hands it's like I'm holding a sickly baby. I can't explain why they feel bad, I can't explain why I feel bad. I can only try to rock and rock and rock them to sleep once more because the medicine won't fucking take.

I wish I wasn't this way. But I am. (Isn't that the way this always goes? I wish I wasn't me when my ribs split open and salt water pours out, but I can't stop who I am. Maybe that's why I hang around every loss like a ghost. Cliche as it is now I have to make up for the fact that it's me and I am not very good at doing that)

I miss who I was just six years ago with my writing. Not the level or the style, just the caring about the bullshit being about zero. I've never made it big as a fandom writer and I think it would kill me if I did. I crave the numbers going up, the dopamine hit of besting my own high score. I'm self competitive and I think I just didn't expect writing to become my newest war zone.

I've never been someone to force myself to write something I'm not feeling. But maybe I should. Maybe I need to now. It might be time for me to suck it up buttercup and get it fucking done and dusted. Maybe without the unfinished ones whispering to me at night I can sleep and wake refreshed for once. Maybe without the unfinished ones I would think more fondly of them, instead of cringe when I remember how much or how little there is left to go.

I'm a people pleaser, and it's honestly my worst trait.

I want to write for me again.

I just don't know how when I keep digging up the bodies to hold “one last time”.

Writing is fun. I still enjoy it. I enjoy talking about it when someone is brave enough to do the thing I can't and reaches out. I like bouncing ideas and theories and building new worlds with others. I can't stand the idea of a group where that's the point though. I'm fickle like that. Picky. I don't think it's a bad thing, but I don't know how to move forward alone either. Writing IS still fun, and I desperately enjoy it.

I just wish I enjoyed having posted it too. Not as a quick etherial high but as a slow sleepy morning. I don't know that I know how anymore.

I guess I'm at a platue looking up to the next step, and I just can't seem to find the handholds to haul myself up.

It's weird to say I'm lonely, but I guess I am a little bit. If you squint and tilt your head. And as I write this I think I'm making a connection. There's something with my anxiety and there's something with my depression. There's something with my job and my other hobby which is ballooning in wonderful and terrifying ways. There's a lot going on and I'm just me, and I can't escape being me no matter how much I enjoy the escape.

Fucking writers block. An absolute ass slap.

Should I post this? This long weird meandering thing? I meant to write a fic today, and tried to let my hands do the talking and this spilled out. I feel like a woman fated to die because I caughed delicately into a silken square and a few cherry drops were caught by the camera. This wasn't supposed to go this way. But I wonder if anyone would find it interesting. Or relateable. God I hope no one finds it relatable because this is miserable, but if they do I don't want them to feel lonely and alone.

If I post it I won't look it over. It will be full of all my errors and misspellings and grammar mistakes. I won't re-write it three or four times the way I often do for things that feel important.

That's the thing with me and writing and not posting. I used to do that. I wrote a LOT of fics that have never been posted start to finish just to get them out. I don't want to post them, that wasn't the point of them. It was to lance something. Something undesireable to me and in the way of what I wanted.

Is it enough that I've written the feelings out? Is it ever /enough/ for me anymore?

I don't feel delicate and rubbed raw, but it is vulnerable. I've always been just myself, not a persona online. But this might be a look too much. Like a horror movie where you see the monster too early and the mystery is gone. Takes the bite out, you know? I'm not entierly saying I'm a monster (I am but who isn't? Monsters don't have to be evil or villains, sometimes we just are.) but I hope you understand what I mean.

Sometimes it's just me standing on stage, waiting for the audience to respond only to meet a defining silence. I tap the mic, ”Hello, is this thing on?“ and I squint into the lights tryign to make out if anyone is still in their seats.

And when I'm lucky, someone calls back to me and the dissapointment that what I poured a bit of myself into that didn't land crushes me for a moment.

I'm still learning to pick myself up after that. I'm tired of being resillent, but this is one time and place and thing I want to be more resilient for. To once again hear the call back and instead of feel bad to smile.

Anyhow.

The counter says I'm over 1500 words into my “was supposed to be a fic not me info dumping and waxing semi-poetic about writers block and external validation in fandom” thing.

It's enough for now, I'll spin my wheels otherwise and I do hate doing that.

Ah well.

Back to the cutting room floor and the grave sides and the bedsides and the stories I haven't finished but gave too much of me to bear. But not today. I think this is enough writing for today.

[dms-saggicorn]

Ah yes my 1st Junji ito read/watch story.

The Enigma of Amigara Fault

This short story by Junji Ito is about a fault that appears in Amigara mountain after an earthquake. The earthquake exposes countless human-shaped holes in the mountain which seem to have been made about a thousand years ago. People, intrigued by these  silhouettes, gather at the site and that’s when things get creepy.

It’s about a 15-20 min read, but if you haven’t read this before, you’re in for a treat. Link above.