#like this brain created its whole special interest from scratch. im fixated on something *I* created. this feels like the | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

malkaviian · 2 years ago

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this is going to sound extremely stupid but i have been thinking for a few days now and. i think donnarose may as well became a special interest???? these little guys genuinely make me happy and i love developing them, thinking about their relationships with each other, it's just too much fun. but since i'm a whole autism with personhood i don't know if my level of enjoyment is normal and akin to someone with their own ocs or im once again having an autism moment. so idk

#like i know that im enjoying 0mori and fn4fhs in a normal way in my own terms; or maybe not so normal but these two still arent spins #meanwhile d4nganronpa rotates in my brain like a rotisserie chicken #sometimes i go to the wiki just to read information about a random character and consume it as if i didnt finished the 3 main games + udg #and other things. i Feel the spin. meanwhile i have no reference on what is expected for someone to feel towards their own creation #does posting art you did of your ocs and sharing a bit of info in an unrelated server constitutes a spin?#does them being the thing you nearly always draw constitutes a spin? it is a spin if you join a server dedicated to talk about ocs?#what if you want to write stories about them instead of 100% focusing on fanfic........ what if.#what if you get embarrassed posting about them sometimes because you think youre talking too much or theyre 'trivial' facts about them #that will make people think 'why did you thought about this'; and so worry about being seen as unhealthily obsessed for it.#-shaking myself- WHAT DOES THIS MEANS IS THIS EXPECTED OR IS THE AUTISM #if this IS a special interest though. it suck ass if i want new official content i have to create it smh /j its also surely a thing #like this brain created its whole special interest from scratch. im fixated on something *I* created. this feels like the #'would you fuck your clone' thing. damn. anyway yeah ramble over i gotta read marx #iván whispers

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