#like they are my otp since 2013

[zenonaa]

my fics don't get many comments so it's always a twinkle of joy when i get one :') a lot of the time i'm like 'did people actually like this? was this cringe? did anyone notice such and such? did i do this bit well? is anyone even reading this?'

so a big thank you to everyone who takes the time out of their day to read any of my fics, it means a lot to me

[hephaestiions]

day 7 of @hprecfest — the best of your OTP

wit's end with this prompt, went through all my oldest bookmarks to pinpoint what about harry potter & draco malfoy sank its fangs into me eleven years ago and— look—

i can't remember the first h/d fic i read, but it would have been from @dictacontrion's daily drarry quotes initiative— a splendid system queueing delicious h/d snippets that ran from 2013 to early 2022. dicta wrote many of my early h/d favourites, the stuff that really got me into this ship, but the DDQ initiative was my first exposure to what prolific reading & fandom engagement looked like. DDQ led me to dicta's curated recs here on tumblr and here on LJ— gorgeous selections that were a crash course in learning my tastes.

hungry for more lists (still didn't quite trust myself with ao3/ffnet's search functions), i found @capiturecs' meticulous & immensely navigable LJ rec archive + rec tag & @gracerene-recs' drarry tag. i still go back to these, especially for older fics i don't see recced all that much anymore.

@drarryspecificrecs' reccing & fic finding catalogues running since 2017 are something else; their work on their main blog, on @drarryspecificrecsdaily & as part of @lostdrarryfics (if i'm not mistaken) is an enduring force in this fandom. their consistent contributions put so many underrated fics on my dash i wouldn't encounter otherwise, and it's always a joy to get the tag notif when i post something on ao3. (also here's a drarry reccers masterlist curated by LDF, i haven't checked out everyone on it, but go forth & enjoy!)

@bridenore has been reading fic on a scale i can only aspire to, their continuously updating rec tag is such a diverse list of reads across tropes & fests. @mxlfoydraco's one-stop-shop masterlist is also glorious.

@thedrarrylibrarian's friends of the library initiative is such a fun take on showing love to fanwork & building community— every rec, interview & adjacent commentary felt like having a warm mug of hot chocolate with a friend. here's the masterlist!

i'm also loving the collaborative brilliance of @drarry-reccage ('get recced!' is phenomenal energy)— seven pals putting time into fresh recs. individual tags: @cailynwrites' tag here; @dontthrowsticksatme's tag here; @garagepaperback's tag here; @kk1smet's tag here; @mallstars' tag here; @pl0tty's tag here; @sweatersinthesummer's tag here.

i also love @sweet-s0rr0w's recs (masterlist & tag); i love how inventive she is with themes (the collaborative sex scene rec initiative is fucking inspired). sweet is also doing recfest, check out the tag!

@ghaniblue's monthly reading lists are always fun & fresh + acari's rec tag includes their recfest entries, featuring some drarry, some other ships (including rarepairs), so go have a look!

in general, i've always loved creative recs, so @onbeinganangel's embroidery recs were some of the most fantastic stuff to ever cross my dash (i was lucky enough to get one for my birthday a few years ago & it changed my life). wistfulrats themed recs + commentary were also brilliant. this author list by @bogglebeans was also wonderfully unique & had great takes.

and! of course! @sitp-recs whose blog & person are both gems, whose participation in this fandom is an absolute beacon of light. liv reads & recs with such infectious enthusiasm & i only realised how much of a love song reccing could be for works & creators i enjoy and admire through following her. here's her masterlist of masterlists & every link is delightful. liv also runs incredibly, incredibly kind initiatives, the hidden gems series stands out, as does running @yours-drarry blog which is a platform to send appreciation to fandom participants, so if you've got some love to show someone this holiday season, hop on over!

this is by no means a comprehensive overview of all the reccing that goes on in this fandom, i'm probably missing much more than i've counted (speaking of, if you rec & i've missed you, let me know and i'll follow your tag). but among the many things i adore about h/d fandom, the robust reccing culture occupies one of the top spots, not only because it shows appreciation for creators but because it's such a distilled display of excitement for participating in fandom— all of us poking each other and being poked to go look at that cool, brilliant, fantastic thing, jittery to wax poetic about it. reccers held my hand in fandom when i didn't know what i was doing, relentlessly cheered (other) creators on, cultivated a participative space for readers & lurkers and set the bar in so many ways.

to everyone who keeps the h/d fandom alive— reccers, but also writers, artists, podficcers, fest moderators, editors, cheerleaders, readers, lurkers, everyone, everyone, past & present: you are the best of this ship.

for all the love, time & effort you've poured into this space, thank you.

[datura-tea]

holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)

^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!

memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long

2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!

i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially

2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.

fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.

this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe

2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol

2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived

2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha

2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of

2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!

2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium

2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind

2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!

2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!

all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for arguing with someone over ships?

🧀⛵ so i can find this later

Yes, this is ship discourse AITA #294729472 you can scroll away, english isn't my first language, my apologies.

So I (16M (But 13-14 at the time)) am in a very niche fandom. As in, we didn't have any new content for the past 5 years and media is old af (2013), very few fans, most of us know each other already.

I used to have these mutuals Cheese (Not their real name) (around my age i think?? I can't remember) and Breadstick (Not his real name) (18M).

We all had our little ships, ok? I like the little (dumbass golden retriever boy) x (badass traumatized man) ship, Cheese liked the little (badass traumatized man) x (literally the same thing but evil and abusive) and Breadstick liked both ships.

I met Breadstick before meeting Cheese so we were already friends before i met Cheese. I thought "Cool, another person likes this little niche thing i'm hyperfixated on!" So we became mutuals.

I didn't anticipate that we would argue about ships, but oh well. So, i'm a very chill person regarding ships, literally any, although i do have NOTPs, i'm not really toxic about my hatred, i just go "Ah, not my thing" and scroll away not without blocking the person, but really nothing personal and no hard feelings, i can perfectly be friends with someone who loves my notp.

In fact, that was the case with Cheese. They shipped my NOTP, like A LOT. But I was okay with it, i mean these are just characters and all we're doing is being silly. I didn't take this THAT seriously. However, when I seemed to talk about my ship, Cheese seemed uncomfortable in some way.

When I was talking about my fankid (call me cringe idc) of my OTP, Cheese got very confused and asked who was i talking about. Breadstick came in and introduced my fankid to them, since he knew about it before. Cheese just started being rude, literally saying swear words (Not against them but, the context didn't really call for it? No one was being mean or mad), saying, and i quote as best as i can, "I don't know what the fuck made you think i knew who the hell [Fankid] was".

I got very mad about it, so i privately dm'ed Breadstick about Cheese's attitude. We began trash talking about them, which, i admit was a very trashy thing to do and definitely asshole material™.

Reason why may i be the asshole: over time, Breadstick just started complaining a lot about Cheese, and I could honestly agree, it came to the point of us disliking them to some degree but not telling them and not breaking the mutual, that could be considered two faced behavior.

This was partly influenced because of another incident. So Cheese and Breadstick where rambling about an OT3 (3 person ship) they had in common, basically sharing ideas and stuff. I thought it would be fun and went "Hey, I have an OT3 too, maybe i should post about it too". So I went and posted about it, but Cheese felt very uncomfortable with that, since basically my OT3 was exactly like Cheese's OT3 but one character is different, "basically".

They said "You have your thing, let US have ours". Felt bad and honestly, maybe i shouldn't have intruded their ot3 rambling. I didn't expect such negative reaction out of them.

In other occasions they complained about me posting a little too much about my ship, even though they did the same thing with theirs. And they also had a mutual that said "If you ship [this character] you suck and i fucking hate you. [character] is too abusive to be shipped with anyone and you can't just make an AU, that would just change him as a character completely" which, dear god, that language wasn't needed, right?. And despite that crazy person saying that, Cheese agreed with their take, despite literally shipping the character in question with another one. And abusively too, which like you do you, lord knows i do that too, but agreeing with a take like that while doing exactly what it is complaining about is weird. On the other side, that person wasn't my mutual, so it's unrealistic of me to expect Cheese to control their mutuals over me, Cheese can mutual whoever they want, but i can still be weirded out right?

That is without including them telling other people to kill themselves over shipping, so it was clear that Cheese took this shipping thing seriously while me and Breadstick to some degree didn't. Honestly another reason why i might be an asshole, clearly they felt their otp was personal and me not liking it + ignoring it caused a bad environment, mala mía, but what else could i have done?

So, clearly Cheese is kind of an asshole to some degree. But i think what makes ME an asshole too is when I trash talked behind their back and cut them off way later than i should've. And also, i guess i shoved my ship down their throat taking by how mad they were about it? I didn't do it intentionally though and i could definitely say they did the same thing too when 80% of the fandom and character tags was them posting about their ship. Again, small niche fandom for old unpopular media, we are keeping it alive ourselves.

What are these acronyms?

[midnightraine131]

Hello Raine! 💙

How have you been? I hope everything is going well for you!

For the fandom ask:

2, 5, 9, 16, 22, 24

Have a wonderful *timezone*, and wish you all the best(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Hey Anna, thank you for your ask.

It's been so long, well, uhm, I guess I'm doing just fine aside from losing a tremendous amount of weight for the past couple of months.... I can say it in a good way since all my medical results came out real good. I hope to have fewer medications after I see my doctor this week. *Cross fingers*

How about you? I hope you're having a good time (Googles your timezone) Oh, it's very early in the morning over there. Please take some rest.

Anyway, without further ado, here's all my answers.

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

I came across a headcanon about Armin being the perfect husband material like he cooks, takes care of the house chores all by himself, and so on. In most of the fics I’ve read, especially post-canon or modern AU, he’s incredibly skilled at it.

But let’s be honest—during his time as a cadet and in the elite squad, Armin practically disappears when it comes to cleaning or cooking. Refute me if you want, but we never see him holding a spatula or a broom. He probably avoided Levi’s attention altogether when it came time to clean the headquarters.

Still, I like to imagine he becomes more responsible at home as he grows older. I mean, come on—when Annie gets pregnant (assuming that happens), there’s no way he’d leave Jean, Connie, or maybe Reiner to take care of her. Especially since we know she’s pretty unorganized in their shared space. So yes, post-canon husband material Armin it is!

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

Always the shy yet vocally bold Armin, and Annie, the emotionally constipated one LOL. This dynamic has always been my cup of tea in fics.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

Oh, this is tricky. I can say AruHitch (?) *blinks rapidly*

I like to think they could be besties when it comes to giving love advice—advice neither of them would actually follow by the end of the day. I imagine them staying up late at night by a bonfire, beers in hand, talking religiously about their crushes and how they have no chance with them in any scenario. They’d probably call each other dummies.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

This one’s about Connie. I’ve noticed that most people in the fandom regard him as a dummy because of how the story portrays him in canon—or even how he views himself. But if you take a closer look at his character, he’s so much more than just a slapstick comic relief. Sure, he underestimates his own intelligence, but he often makes a lot of sense and has talents in his own right. I’ll fight anyone who calls him cringe. Try me.

22. the fandom friend you've known the longest

I guess I won’t count the mutuals I had back in 2013, since I don’t see their accounts anymore, and I wasn’t really trying to get involved back then. When I returned in 2022/23, I decided to start writing fics again and kept this blog active. The first people I talked to were @moonspirit and @annawayne, and they made me feel so welcome in the AOT fandom. I’m incredibly grateful for that.

They inspired me to write more, and knowing we had this little community tucked into a small corner of such an enormous fandom—it truly felt like a haven. It makes me so happy to see new people joining and contributing, whether through art, fanfics, or even as readers supporting everything we do. They welcomed them just as warmly as I was when I returned as a new writer last year, and that sense of belonging is something truly special.

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life

God, I can’t stop rambling about how much this fandom has positively impacted me in every aspect of my life. It might sound like I’m overreacting, but after I started writing Aruani fics, I realized something profound: first loves truly linger, even when you’re over 30. For me, that “first love” is twofold—my love for writing and the love I felt when I first shipped Aruani ten years ago.

Sharing that love has brought me happiness beyond words, especially when people read my fics, leave comments, or even reach out on my socials just to tell me how much they enjoy my work. It means so, so much to me. All the time, effort, and tears poured into writing every chapter feel completely worth it because of the love and appreciation from all of you.

Coming back to this fandom has been the best decision I’ve made in the past couple of years, and I truly hope it continues for many more. I’m definitely not ready to move on to another fandom, even though AOT has long since ended. I’m still holding out hope for High School Caste!

[splashstar01]

Love letter to Merthur (11 year anniversary🎉💐) TW: suicide, spoilers for end of the show

Okay so it's been 11 years since Merthur has been my OTP. Since they've entered my life I've literally felt like I've been in a relationship with their relationship if that makes sense. For a little while until I met my spouse, I even identified as aegosexual, which for me meant being asexual except for attraction to other people's relationships such as my OTPs. 

I came into the fandom end of 2013 and became interested because they were all over my tumblr dash. I know, the show ended at the end of 2012.. I'm not sure why Tumblr had a sudden influx of merthur content. Maybe due to the slash tourney?

But I kept seeing the final end scene all over my dash and I kept seeing a ton of articles celebrating that merthur was now canon (imagine my surprise when i found so many in the fandom don't see it that way even tho it was literally confirmed……………………..). 

I knew literally nothing about the show and assumed it was a serious adult show about the Arthurian legends. But I shipped them anyway due to the ending, particularly with Merlin waiting 1500 years (I didn't even realize Arthur was also waiting)!

At the time I had just got into shipping for half a year, so I was super new to all this slash stuff. My slash OTP at the time was very quickly replaced by merthur after I began watching the series bc merthur was just way more touchy-feely and had actual boyish fun around one another, not to mention waiting 1500 years for ea other! That is EPIC LOVE!!!! Their dynamic was the opposite of my previous OTP. 

With merthur I got really, really into my feelings. I've literally bled for them. Rest assured, I have never cut in my entire life. it's only due to me becoming so emotional and hyperventilating in joy that I bit my fingers and bled a little bit. Like, the amount of blood i lost was akin to literally a paper cut from my teeth lol. Because I cover my mouth when I hyperventilate… I think most people cover their mouths when they do this. Lol.

But when I hyperventilate over Merthur, it is EXTREME. like, i have almost out-of-body experiences. i’ve literally cried from being so happy thinking of them having sex. One time in the shower I was thinking about them and I was so happy I nearly blacked out and fell into the shower curtains. 😂 But even when I cry over Merthur/Arthur, im still having fun. Because I know it's not real, so it’s only a pseudo-grief but its NOT psuedo-joy!!! LOL. It's kinda like going on a roller coaster. You’re screaming but you dont actually fear for your life. It’s psuedo-fear. 

At the time, I was severely depressed in my non-fandom life, but Merthur never actually contributed to that hurt, because i could see the lines of reality vs real shit i had to be upset over. Merthur gave me an outlet. With merthur I felt free to cry and fall apart whilst at the same time, as I always tell my ppl, "they're not real, THANK GOODNESS!!" so I can grieve bc I'm not really crying for anyone!

At the time, I wasn’t seeing anyone for my severe depression/anxiety because I thought I could handle it and i was self-medicating with psychedelics since they've been proven to be able to heal mental health issues. LSD at parties healed my c-ptsd, since I had gone to see someone for my ADHD & ended up being diagnosed w c-ptsd! I thought it could heal my other issues too.

But then I took a 7-year break from merthur due to my attempted suicide.

My life was going so well too. I literally seemed like i had the perfect life while in college. Just landed a good-paying 1-yr temp job, I was majorly popular and partying every weekend, I had a long-term partner (we’re now married), I had a 4.7 GPA, was in 9 different school clubs. I seemed to be thriving. But I’d been battling severe anxiety/depression since I was 12.

How the fandom saved my life….. Literally. 

Before I was going to do it, I had to say goodbye to the fandom bc I always felt like the merthur fandom was like my family.

I wrote a goodbye post on Tumblr that I set to queue and I had assumed it would post much later. But ig i somehow miscalculated and it posted too early. So someone managed to find my Facebook which is just insane bc blogs are essentially anonymous. I didn't post any personal info on Tumblr. It should have been impossible but they alerted my sister and I was found 45 min away.

The doctors declared me brain dead and it was this huge thing. I had to relearn to feed myself, walk, etc. It took me 6 months just to have the strength to use a walker because my leg muscles had atrophied so much. 9 months later and I was able to walk again on my own. Now it's been 7 years and I'm still physically disabled but in a much better place emotionally. After my attempt, a limelight was cast on my mental health and all a sudden i was seeing all sorts of therapists. I was medicated for the very first time, and i felt so much better. I’m no longer actively suicidal.

So….. enough about my sob story. 

Merthur will most likely always be my OTP!! I did find book!Drarry 8 months ago, and boy did i go wild for them too. (Like, i stayed up 36 hours straight because i couldnt stop thinking about them and i’m the author of the Drarry Bible, a 98k doc of all the drarry book moments along with meta proving that in their universe, they are in love and soulmates lol. Drarry is such a huge ship that I was honestly so surprised that there wasnt already something similar to it!!)

But even with Drarry, I always knew Merthur was OTP!! I never once questioned that I loved Merthur more even during my Merthur hiatus. ^-^ I’m not sure why i took such a long hiatus after my suicide attempt. But I recently got back into Merthur just 6 months ago due to this video by imaginedragonlords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4zDknYGf0s. The video reminded me of why Merthur was so amazingggggg. Like i always knew they were but ig the passion was gone after the suicide attempt. (Gone but not forgotten lol! :D)

I wont promise the passion will always be here. Like in any relationship, passion sometimes ebbs and flows (happening rn w my irl partner lol i mean, they’re great n all but they like to interrupt me when i write fanfic 😂), but I’ll always know that Merthur will never be replaced. Because at the end of the day, there will never be another love as epic and with as much chemistry as these two gayssssssss<33333 i did find another ship I love that i feel has a more healthy love for ea other than merthur and also waited a whole lifetime for one another, but they dont have AS much chemistry……………)

I love Merthur SO DAMN MUCH!!!!!! And i love my Merthur fandom. <3 I can always rely on fandom to give me my drug of choice: that MERTHUR DOPAMINE HIT!!! I’ve grieved Arthur’s death way longer & more intensely than any irl person/pet’s, & I blame the fandom for that! Each gifset or post will bring all the feelings of pseudo-grief back in full force, plus I cry EASY when it comes to fandom. I can smile a genuine smile after my grieving session is done, because thank SOURCE THEY’RE FICTIONAL! 

And anyway, they’re so obviously going to end up married with so much sex once Arthur finally returns from training with the Sidhe and being granted immortality so that Albion (Merlin) won’t ever be in such crisis (losing his mind from grief) ever again.

I’ve also cried from looking at a gifset of Leon just being Leon (this one literally tagged ‘literally crying’ & i only use that tag for stuff that has me actually crying with real tears).

And he’s not even one of my fave knights!! This gifset wasn't meant to be sad either. lol. I dont know why i cried. It just be like that on Tumblr.

Back before my hiatus, I literally had a Kleeenix box next to me whenever i went on tumblr bc I’d cry over every little thing. This was bc i was bound to see some sad merthur gifset/post/etc, cry, and after i cried once, anything else made me cry……..

Even gifsets of Leon just being Leon lool. x’D I would get soooooo overly emotional. 

My spouse once said, “All you ever talk about with ur fandoms is ‘they’re so gay.’” YES. THAT IS THE MAIN POINT, WHAT ABOUT IT 😂 like im now in the Harry Potter book fandom & i literally dont give a shit about the book plotlines [I barely remember them], but i can write up a whole Bible about Drarry……. It’s PRIORITIES! I have a very 1-track mind with my ships lol.

Ok this was way longer than intended. 

Tldr;

merthur (fandom) literally saved my life during my suicide attempt by alerting my family,

grieving Arthur’s death is a safe outlet bc i know he’s not real so none of my grief is real.

I dont cut, never have, never will—I just hyperventilate way too hard in fits of joy, usually crying “they’re SO GAY!!!” & bite my fingers a tad too hard on accident at times..... i get really super emotional and i love it becos that free dopamine hit is on another lvl fr lol def up there w real drugs, like my out-of-body experience sometimes xD

I feel like im dating them due to being partly aegosexual. and i love them <3 :D So my 11 yr anniversary fr feels like my 11 yr anniversary w an IRL lover lol XD

[ssaemilyhotchner]

a long overdue (re)intro post.

nooshin. 28. cm fandom grandma. i'm so glad you’re here. 𓂃✧.˚⋆₊*

most likely shouting into the void about:

CRIMINAL MINDS my stuff (& shitposting, oops) moodboards otp: that's your tell emily prentiss & paget brewster aaron hotchner & thomas gibson

WRITING my fics & AO3 (ssaicprentiss) my headcanons reviews & asks my talk tag

THE X-FILES nooshin watches txf otp: my one in five billion

more about me under the cut!

hellooo! returning to the cm space after a whopping eleven years has been sweet and terrifying and everything in between. even in my absence (putting fic writing on hold in 2013 and removing my work from ffn entirely in 2020), i thought about the early years of the cm fandom—the community that we built together—with pride, gratitude, and a whole lot of love. there is much to be said about the ecosystem of a fandom, but when it gives, it gives. i would not have survived those years without your support and the connections that we made. so thank you!

if i at all seem familiar . . .

from 2010-2013 i wrote hotchniss fic (kiss the cook, fade to black, if that mockingbird don’t sing, etc.) on ffn as ssaemilyhotchner. i was also very active on twitter as saemilyhotchner (aka criminallymindless) but i purged my old twitter acc when things start going off the rails there and deleted the email address associated with it, so now i have no way of accessing it. #rip. mostly only sad about that bc of my birthday tweet from paget that tags that old account 🥲

i've mostly been at this url since 2011 but other prevs include criminallymindless, queenarwvn & andrea-mcnally.

thanks for sharing this little corner of the world with me. xo

[dangermousie]

Here is a list of cdrama actors who I used to avoid watching at all costs that I changed my mind about after watching them be good in something - an incomplete list since I am sure I am forgetting people. (I won’t make a kdrama one because I only had like three MLs on it in terms of working actors and no FLs and two of MLs come off it by now)

Hu Yitian - the most wooden block to ever block thought I. And then saw the 1930s pilot epic Defying the Storm.

Ju Jingyi - never thought she was capable of any impression until Chinese Paladin 4

Dylan Wang - probably the biggest example on this list. I remember mocking whoever was insane enough to cast him in LBFAD. And then I had to eat all of those words.

Zhang Jingyi - I was so appalled by her acting in Fall in Love that I decided to skip anything she was ever in from then on. And then I watched L&P because I had the first ep downloaded on my phone and nothing else available and went aaaaa!!! I adore her now.

Deng Wei - he was background noise in so many dramas; it’s not that I disliked him per se, he just didn’t register. And then I watched LYF1 and he ended up being so good and playing arguably my favorite male cdrama character of the year.

Yang Zi - before all the howls start, yes she’s a huge A-list star in a ton of beloved dramas. And I adored her so much in Battle of Changsha (which is a masterpiece btw, go watch!) The problem is I didn’t enjoy her in anything since and Changsha was in 2013. To me it felt she was just coasting and then…LYF1 - my fave female character of the year hands down and she was soooo good! In fact, an OTP portrayed by her and Deng Wei, were my OTP of the year and if someone told me that before summer, I’d have checked them for concussion.

Joseph Zeng - I thought he couldn’t act much but in retrospect nobody could have performed well in the horrifying dramas I first saw him in (that one with Li Landi is guaranteed to induce a stroke in anyone) and then I saw Heroes and went bzuuuuhhhh and everything I’ve seen him in since he was good.

Zhang Zhehan - until Word of Honor. And then we all know how that went.

Wu Lei - ok this is an odd duck on the list because even when I didn’t like him, I couldn’t deny he was a solid actor. I just loathed his miscasting in TLB so much - he was visually all wrong and there was zero chemistry with DD and honestly he was so boring to watch on screen. So after that drama I went I guess he’s growing into a bad actor, huh? And then came LLTG and it turned that TLB was an aberration not a trend.

Then there are a couple of actors where I admit they are wooden as hell but I find them so good to look at I don’t care - Yukee Chen and Alan Yu. Some actors who I used to love but who I shudder when I see cast now (Peng Xiaoran is a great example), and of course the remaining Hall of You Are a Pretty Tree Plant Yourself Far From Me - Cheng Xiao, Yang Chaoye, Fan Cheng Cheng, Gulinazha, Yang Yang, the no longer working Zheng Shuang, Neo Hu, Ao Ruipeng, Wang Churan, Chen Duling (tho I have some small hope for Wang Churan and ARP if they get a good enough director and YCY was watchable in Heroes so if she gets a miracle director like Li Muge you never know. And CDL is an odd duck where I don’t think she has much range or is likable as a heroine but she mostly picks roles where she’s 90% rbf and it works so keep trucking!)

[4getfulimaginator2022]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I haven't been tagged, but I saw @fandomsbyladymelodrama do one of these a few months back - so of course, I wanted to give it a try. 🙃 Also, I haven't done any personal posts on here in forever. Time for a change!

How many works do you have on AO3? I have 18 works so far. And when it comes to ships, it looks like I have a "type." 😉

What's your total AO3 word count? Oh boy. 660K+ right now and growing all the time because when stories speak, I write.

What fandoms do you write for? Mainly Once Upon a Time (starting in 2013), followed by Game of Thrones (2024, baby!) and then that 1 Greek myth collection thingy. I was a die-hard Once fan back in the day and watched episodes religiously, so all the canon lore was seared into my brain until season 6 (when I dropped the show because the writing was so off the rails). Surprise, surprise - I haven't watched GoT in its entirety. Everything I know is through my own research, watching videos, reading, reading, reading, and the contributions of the wonderful Jorleesi fandom.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? All Captain Swan fics, in order from the most to the least: 1) Heart Bound 2) Only the Beginning 3) A Cobbler's Life For Me 4) Be My Angel, Be My Demon 5) Nevermore

Do you respond to comments? I try! I used to be less strict about replying to comments, but with my resurgence in fanfic after years of absence, I have replied to each and every one. Currently, I am behind on replies, but I will get around to it again. Soon.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oof. I don't do angsty endings because I will die on the hill that is Jane Austen: “My characters shall have, after a little trouble, all that they desire.” Probably my angstiest ending is in Trader of Hearts, which is a really dark fic. I do have a one-shot that is semi-angsty, though: Thinking of You.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? *deer in headlights look* I make it my business to give my beloved characters the happiest endings I can. Seriously. I don't know how to rank endings against each other, since the characters always end up together. I currently think my happiest ending is for The Old Curiosity Shop, my Jorleesi fic.

Do you get hate on fics? I have, but these were readers telling me how I should write my stories "the right way." I also have gotten spam comments. Overall, people are pretty nice.

Do you write smut? Hoo-hah! 😏 Let's count: I have 3 fics rated Mature and 5 fics rated Explicit. That's half of my fic repertoire. And when I do Explicit, it's ❤️‍🔥. Enough said.

Do you write crossovers? No. Not happening, cannot do, end of discussion.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Well... There was a scandal back on FF.net in 2014 or 2015? Websites were copying all fanfics to scammy websites or selling fanfics as ebooks. Not cool. I used to have all my content on FF.net, but now only my in-progress fics are there. All my fics are up on AO3.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Hey, if someone is offering... But again, no. No one ever wanted to co-write with me. 🥺 But maybe it's because I'm sooooooooo bossy!

What's your all-time favorite ship? Oh crap. All-time favorite?! WHAT. I have to cheat here and say there's a tie: Captain Swan and Jorleesi. Emma Swan and Killian Jones had a long journey to love and happiness, both in terms of their individual character growth and their relationship as a couple. The more I learned about them, the harder I fell in love with them. It helped that the CS fandom was HUGE as the ship became canon, and Tumblr was so active then that #captainswan was all over the place. We were one of the largest canon ships for that show. Now, as for Jorleesi... Jorah Mormont's loyalty and devotion earned my attention and respect from the first, and then when I found out about his love for Daenerys and her repressed love affection for him, I was a goner. My 2 OTPs: both women are BAMFs who are survivors and warriors, while their guys value love above all and are willing to die to protect them (*sobbing for Jorah because noooooooo* 😭)

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Heart Bound. This fic... I love this fic. This is my Jane Eyre/Jane Austen fix. It's my 2nd period piece and I adore some of my prose in this one. It. Needs. 4. Chapters. To. Be. Complete. Can I do it? Yes. Do I want to do it? *cries* Of course I do but it's hard...

What are your writing strengths? Hmm. Some would say it's my prose, while others would say that I know how to channel emotion into my writing. I like to incorporate literature and historical references into my fics (historical AUs or not), so I think I've done well with that. I've also been told that my characterizations are fantastic and unique. You do notice that I'm not claiming credit for any of these observations, right? Usually, I believe my writing is awful and I could have done so much better. I have a hard time acknowledging my strengths. You could hand me an Olympic gold medal for Writing and I would still insist that it's all lies. My self-belief and confidence have not improved over the years.

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue. It's always dialogue. I want it to be realistic but my vocab gets in the way and it starts sounding like prose. Not good. But I am getting better! No way to go but up.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Maybe I'd do it, but it would have to be necessary for me to put in the effort. I don't purposely bamboozle my readers. 🤣

First fandom you wrote for? Once Upon a Time (of course *rolls eyes*). One Against the Wind is my ultimate period fic - pirates, the Caribbean, my tribute to PotC and pirate novels I've read. I created character backstory when there was no canon backstory. It's also my longest fic at 147K words. So proud of it and it still holds a special place in my heart. 😍

Favorite fic you've written? Ugh, no no no! I always, always say I cannot have one favorite because that is BORING. But okay, I will say that at the moment, it's The Old Curiosity Shop. I just did a full read of the entire fic and my heart absolutely melted. Adorable, heartbreaking, angsty, and so romantic. Jorleesi, I love you and I will die for you. You own my heart a thousand times over. ❤️

Fineeeee, I'll tag 5 people (no worries if you don't want to do this - completely voluntary fun and games here 💕): @ser-jorah-the-andal, @rileypotter17, @houseofthebear, @clarasimone, @thank-god-and-you

[shinakazami1]

i know you aren't there anymore and neither am I but the Curator? If you have any other things I know I may ask but I don't think I know any of your other interests. Sorry.

Spider!! Hi hi hi!! As said, I take from any fandom I've been in so it would be a blast since I hadn't talked about Curator much here!

How I feel about this character

Curator is an interesting case. She serves multiple roles, and she changes a bit between versions of herself. In 2011 mod she's just there to comment on them but, she's given the suicide ending. It's really telling that in that one, we are the one who have to make the jump. She mocks the choice and story while being stuck in it herself.

Then, in the 2013 version, she owns a museum. She isn't just stuck in the game - she's a guardian of versions. Seemingly, she observes them through everything. She has recordings of the Narrator to look through. Once again, from outer perspective, she seems so much more in control. But then - this time, she presents us with a choice. Either let them kill each other or get out. She acknowledges the Player but also, once again, shows how in the end, our choice is meaningless. Because no matter what, to her, they destroy each other. And we are the driving point of that.

However, the Bucket version brings something I wanted to discuss a long time ago but never did.

To me - The Bucket is a metaphor of both the Narrator and Stanley. Seeing how Curator had observed them before, it would only make sense she would observe the Skip Button, even from a safe distance. But she saw what the creators had made the Narrator go through. And we only keep letting it happen. Because as she taught us in her ending - we can always leave and not finish. As she is stuck, as anyone else, she took what was important to the Narrator and was mad at all the in just, showing just how important 'The Bucket' is to the story.

We disrespected it. We don't deserve it.

We could have left a long time ago.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

While I know people ship her with Mariella - I mostly write non romantic relations. For my aus, I have a version where they help each other in Jester AU but, I might talk about Mariella another time.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

MariellaxCurator but also, a relationship between 432 and Curator is something I do in every single of my Aus. They're both observers of the story, both talk to the Player, both are mean indirectly to the Narrator. I often make them besties ajshsh

My unpopular opinion about this character

Idk if these are unpopular, I hadn't checked with the fandom in a while sjshsh but:

- Curator would NOT want a human form or physical one in general. It's not needed. She's above us. She's an observer, beauty and grace. She would find it insulting.

- deep down, she cares about the story. No one would make such a detailed museum without finding the importance of it.

- I feel she was one of the Proctols before.

- She's playful, and spiteful at the same time. She's not that different from the Narrator

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I don't... Exactly wish for change? Like - I like canon. I really do. While her interaction with the Narrator would have been interesting, I think she serves her role well enough.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hello lovey! Really enjoyed reading your recent satellite jeon post it was truly captivating! I did have a question though, since im a fairly recent follower I havent come across your pov on “jimin fell first, jk fell harder” common opinion in the jikook fandom. Are you in agreement with this and if so does this align with your viewpoint on satellite jeon?

Anon is talking about this post. Thanks anon 😘

No. Absolutely not. I am NOT in agreement with that statement. Matter of fact it's annoying as hell and I roll my eyes everytime I see it.

And yes, my opinion aligns perfectly with satellite Jeon. He started so early like the moment on this post is literally from 2013. And this moment here is also early on...

(JK what are you doing 🙈🙈🙈)

And many more 2013-2015 incidents. Like, its been going for so long...why people would think JK wasn't down bad since the very beginning is beyond me...

[princesssarisa]

For the character asks, Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Favorite thing about them: His fate of falling into the chocolate river and then being sucked up the pipe that takes the chocolate to the Fudge Room is colorful and memorable. The perfect outlandish "punishment" for a child who eats too much candy in an over-the-top dark-comedy morality tale.

Least favorite thing about them: Two words: fat shaming. The portrayal of his vice hasn't aged well since 1964. Instead of emphasizing that eating nonstop junk food is unhealthy and that Augustus is harming himself, the book's apparent viewpoint is just that fat people are disgusting and overeating is sickening to watch. At least his lapping up the melted chocolate from Wonka's river, not caring that the chocolate is going to be made into candy that other people will eat, shows that he's rude and selfish too, so the disgust aimed at him isn't entirely about his overeating or his weight.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I love food to a fault, especially chocolate.

*I'm overweight.

*I sometimes impulsively broke rules as a child.

Three things I don’t have in common with them:

*I'm not a little boy.

*I make an effort to eat healthy most of the time.

*I'm not German, as he is in most adaptations, though I do have some German ancestry on my mother's side.

Favorite line:

From the book, as he laps up the melted chocolate:

"This stuff is fabulous! Gosh, I need a bucket to drink it properly!"

From the 1971 film, when the TV reporter asks him how he feels about finding the Golden Ticket:

"Feel sorry for Wonka. It's gonna cost him a fortune in fudge."

From the 2005 film, when he recounts finding the Golden Ticket:

"I am eating ze Vonka bar, und I taste something that is not chocolate or coconut or valnut or peanut butter or nougat or butterbrittle or caramel or schprinkles, so I look and I find ze Golden Ticket."

brOTP: Possibly his mother, though she's brought him up badly.

OTP: None.

nOTP: Any adult.

Random headcanon: After his traumatic experience at the factory, he'll give up candy and grow up to be a fitness and health food guru – yet be just as obnoxious about it as he was in his junk food greed.

Unpopular opinion: I wish the adaptations wouldn't always portray him as German. It's blatant borrowing from the 1971 film, and I'd like at least one adaptation to get out of the 1971 film's shadow, more than any of them have done so far.

Song I associate with them:

The first iteration of "Oompa Loompa" from the 1971 film:

"Augustus Gloop" from the 2005 film:

Favorite picture of them:

This classic illustration by Joseph Schindelman:

This illustration by Quentin Blake:

This illustration by Mini Grey:

Michael Bollner in the 1971 film:

Phillip Wiegratz in the 2005 film:

This unknown boy actor in the 2013 stage musical:

[holydrakes]

I've already been a big Soma trash since maybe 2013 or 2014 (all I remember is I used to draw Maka a lot in 10th grade since her design was so damn cool to me back then, and the reason why I picked Soul Eater in the first place) and I used to like...gather lots and lots of fanarts (fun fact: Niwatori's/Kii Kanna's Soul Eater fanarts and doujins actually was a huge influence of me developing my art style back in the day where I ended up preferring drawing characters with cute round features and lean builds) and read lots of fanfics of them on good ol fanfiction dot net. Even when I was active in other fandoms over the years and creating content for other ships SoMa is still that one otp that reside in the back of my mind being put on the highest, shiniest pedestal ever. But this is the first time I actually engage in the fandom directly and actually making stuff for the fandom, so excuse me if I regurgate age-old stuff about them here lol. These are actually stuff I've known for years but now I still feel the need to bring them up again now that I'm actually in the fandom somewhat.

[rinaurelli]

my sp look great 

k2 (kyle and kenny not close friends in canon but I like their dynamics! moreover, I have an hc in which kenny is literally the second smartest boy in the class, who is clearly stronger than kyle in physics and mathematics) they are my otp 2023 😄 

stenny (i like stan and kenny's dynamics a little less, but! i'm sure they're close anyway. kenny is stan's second best friend, and this makes it possible to have not exactly friendly feelings for him) they have been my otp since 2014(? or 2013) 

stylenny (i really don't like style, but having kenny improves the situation) don't think about how hot they are in the post-covid pls....... 

stylennyman (because i love poly ship where the more participants the better) 

twenny (tweek and kenny looks so hot and you can't argue with me) 

kenman is my favourite brotp!! (i'll try to write hc's about them sometime!) 

karen/tricia (we don't know the details of their relationship, but i like to think that karen's first crush was on tricia) 

stuart/gerald (i don't understand why so many people ignore this ship! they were friends, they broke up on a bad note they literally have a lot of room for pain! and now their children are friends, and this can both bring them closer and break their hearts. i have so many hc's about them and i need to share it 😭😭😭 i'm going crazy because we literally have a fact — they were best friends in childhood! and now you can write almost anything to make it very painful for everyone, or good (or painful at first, and then good)) 

in conclusion, i want to say that i'm a multishipper and i treat all ships well or neutrally (even if it was said earlier that i do not like style). but i love kenny and the mccormick kids in general, so.... I also thought about sheila and carol's relationship, but that's another story…

[seamsterspell]

Hey, Ann!! Happy Valentines!!! 💚💚💚

I was wondering here: which ships are in your Top OTPs? And why you love them so much (if you want to share!)

OMG HI MONDO!!!! Happy (belated) valentine to you as well 💘💘💘 How are you?? I hope you are well!!!

Of course I want to share, I love oversharing about my ships HAHA. So here you go, a (short) list of my SNK OTPs:

LeviHan

(pretends to be shocked). No, but I'm not even kidding when I said that they live in my head 24/7 🤣 Everytime I do or see something, I would automatically connect it to Levihan. I just can't help it lol, I love them so much (both as a character and as a ship). Their relationship is mature and pure but fun at the same time. I mean, they embody all of my favourite tropes, so no suprise here. But idk, there are no other ships (that came before them or after them) that could alter my brain in the same way as them. They changed me fr, like something shifted inside me the moment I became a Levihan shipper. Hell, I even chose my uni major because of a Levihan fanfiction 💀 Not only that, my writings and English has improved a lot, and all of that merely because I want to write their fanfic LOL.

I've been a Levihan shipper since 2013 and I will continue to be one until I die. So yeah, expect to see more Levihan fanfiction for more decades to come 😚✌️

AruAni

They don't really live in my head 24/7 but I still think of them often. Also, they hold an important place in my heart since they are my first ship in SNK. Not only that, they are also special to me because they are THE ship that went from being considered as a crack ship to a canon one. LIKE IT WAS INSANE. I mean I've been an Aruani shipper since 2013 and so I knew how small the fandom were back then. Not only that, most of the SNK fandom saw AruAni as a crack shipper, but we were like, "No! They are not! (proceed to analyse the hell out of their interaction in the female titan arc)." 😀👍

So imagine how SHOCKED and ECSTATIC I WAS when all of these analysis and headcanons CAME TRUE. It took us almost a decade, but we finally got to say, "See guys? WE ARE NOT DELUSIONAL." I never been proud as a shipper HAHA. One of my biggest flex is to say that I've been an Aruani truther since 2013 😎

Okay now that I think about it, the only ships that I deeply care about are only the two above. I do like other ships, but only in a casual way (but I still gonna defend them though LOL), and those are:

YumiHisu

I used to be neutral with them but when that episode of Historia holding the passed out Ymir on her lap and said, "My real name is Historia", then they stared at each other eyes with such love???? BEAUTIFUL I SAY. Their dynamic and the way their characters arc intertwined with each other? Love it! I wished Isayama gave them a proper closure though :(

JeanKasa

Oh man, I actually have a lot of things to say about them but I'm gonna keep it brief🤐 I didn't ship them at the beginning, but as I grew up and as I tried to understand their characters, I found myself falling for JeanKasa and their potential. I feel they will have a healthy, mature, and loving relationship. I also like the way Jean showed his love to Mikasa (he's not selfish and he's not blinded by his love).

Well, that's all! But, before I end this ask, here are some honourable mentions: PokkoPiku, EreHisu, EreMin, and MikeNana.

Bonus: I actually like to play with the idea of Erwin and Marie, I even tried to explore them in my fic HAHA.

OK THAT'S ALL. SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO LONG MONDO 😝 Thank you for the ask!! You made my day!!!!! I love you 💖💖💖

[olderthannetfic]

Saw the other anon; tossing in my own on the ‘former anti, what changed’ question — I was big on shipping, i had a otp of a twincest ship from a particular anime with a vase being broken. And very big on shipping the youtuber minecrafters together ( which is now a major fucking issue on twitter i hear?? Idk i have been a fan of MC since 2013 but i never rlly engaged with online fandom )

BUT!! But!! I was shippin’ twins when i was 12-14 ish, Aged; went ‘huh that was wild and now im uncomfortable’ - And then i fell into ‘this makes me uncomfortable, i am against it’ type thinking. I have not actively harassed or w/e im too hot for that, but I definitely shared posts an the likes of ‘proship is gross’ type bullshit; was actively reading and spreading posts about how artworks depicting bad things was a problem actually; and fiction does affect reality because Jaws the movie made shark hunting rise—

Which is a seperate rant in itself, Jaws was a massive movie with international reach, a wincest fanfic on ao3 does not have the same fucking reacH AA—

Cut forward a few more years, anti-shippers have now seemingly gone more extreme; you cant ship teenagers they are minors and thats gross, you cant age up a character because thats pedophilia, you cant ship a character who is 32 with a 20 year old thats imbalance of power an life experience an an an—

I just got really fuckin tired. Because if anti-shipping was just about the ‘bad’ stuff then why is suddenly everything that isnt a perfectly stale cookie-cutter romance not allowed now? And i had no idea who was an ‘i am against 12 year olds being drawn sexually’ over ‘if you ship the two characters who i headcannon as family thats incest’ so.

Gave up. Claimed the pro-shipper label, and just filtered out ships and content i Do Not want to see an called it a day. So far its worked pretty well, i still know nothing about Boku No Pico after 10 years of hearing its name & i feel much safer knowing that if i do ‘’’mistep’’’ or follow someone who makes x y z it wont be a big deal. Who cares.

Its freein’ like that.

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