#like there is something there with him going off the deep end again and getting sent back 2 th null void and it sucks but like.

[endearng]

Out of reach

Pairing: earlyseasons!Spencer Reid x hotchner!fem!reader Summary: You pull away from Spencer because of your jealousy. You go back to him after a few drinks in. WC: 9k A/N: fluff! pining! idiots/friends to lovers! alcohol consumption; spencer is a bit mean; reader doesn't communicate; hotch is a little older to have a daughter around spencer's age (do not come at me this is fiction). If I missed anything, please let me know! I had so much fun writing this one and it's now one of my favorites <3 masterlist

The jet was quiet as you and the BAU team made your way back from Los Angeles after successfully finding Lila Archer's stalker. The case had been a bit draining, after all, you've only been working with the FBI for a couple of months, and seeing dead bodies and all those other displays of violence was something you were still trying to get used to. Despite your sensitive nature, being Aaron Hotchner's daughter meant that you had mastered the art of a poker face through the years, not that it meant that your inner feelings were any less important. This is how you found yourself sitting all alone in a corner of the jet as everyone minded their own business. On any other day, you'd be sitting next to Dr. Spencer Reid, talking about whatever it was that could get your mind off the case you had just wrapped up. Spencer and you were friends, some would even say the best of friends, but you didn't mind about naming things — what mattered the most is that you got to be yourself around him and you didn't bother hiding behind the Hotchner glare, as he once put it.

Despite being unknown territory for you, after all, feelings and all that were protected by a deeply analytic and practical mind, you knew what you were feeling. Well, you were analyzing your reactions to check what had actually happened — and the thing is, you couldn't admit, not even to yourself, what that sinking feeling in your chest when you watched Spencer saying goodbye to Lila was. Amid your analysis, Spencer quietly approached you, silently motioning to the seat next to you. You nodded, shutting every single thought of him. Or at least, trying.

"Hi."

Hotch glare. "Hi, Reid."

Spencer felt nervous. He had never been on the receiving end of your… wrath before, so it was unknown territory and he didn't know how to act. His racing heart and clammy palms weren't helping him, either. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Listen, um, you... can... can we talk?" The stammering. Way to go, Spencer.

Glancing at him, ignoring the skip in your heartbeat, you nodded. "Yeah. Is everything alright?" A firm, secure tone. You mentally patted yourself on the back.

"You're a little distant... and—and I got a bit worried. Did... Did something happen?" He wanted to kick himself. What kind of person can't hold a serious conversation without stuttering like an idiot? Get a grip, Reid.

"No, Reid. Everything is alright. I'm just... thinking." You said.

Bullshit. You both knew that. Spencer, on the other hand, didn't know why it was bullshit. But he knew it was.

"Are you sure?" He asked, leaning towards you, almost invading your personal space and he shut his eyes before delivering the next question, "Is... I haven't done anything to upset you? Right?"

You took a second to answer him, willing your voice to stay still and the knot in your throat to go away. "No. It's nothing you've done. It's just... it's on me." You gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes — that's when he knew something was definitely wrong.

He nodded, but he was still worried by your sudden change of behavior, especially towards him. It was like he was anyone else, again. And, God, he didn't want that. "What is it, then? You can talk to me, you know. We're best friends."

Best friends.

The words felt bitter on his tongue. The sound of them broke your heart all over again.

Best friends. "Right. Yeah. I know." You said, quietly, and it felt a little lifeless to him. He clenched his hand, fighting the urge to touch you, to ask you what was truly bothering you. "Thanks for offering."

Spencer felt conflicted. If he didn't say anything and didn't push you to speak, you would probably bury whatever it was that you were feeling and it would lead him into being even more worried about you. If he did, you would probably snap at him because of his undesired, bothersome insistence. "It's nothing." He said, defeatedly. "Can you just... Do you promise it's not me?"

Your heart ached and you smiled at him, a tiny, faint, barely there smile. He was so adorable, sometimes. "I'm just upset over something else. Don’t worry. You didn't do anything wrong." You finished, trying to convince yourself that he had not, indeed, done something wrong.

And he didn't. He didn't. You and Spencer, despite your proximity and sometimes incredibly ambiguous relationship, hadn't said anything about deeper feelings towards one another. You let yourself admire him, lovingly, from afar, and were happy with the snippets of attention you had from him when you two had some free time. You two were regulars in the coffee shop near his apartment and, by now, the local librarian, Mrs. Jones, could probably fake your signature from how often you two went there to borrow books. She would watch you two behind the bookshelves, whispering excitedly and curiously to each other about whatever suggestions you were getting from each other. As you missed Spencer's longing glances to read a summary, Mrs. Jones smiled to herself, both at how adorable you two were and how oblivious you were. In museums, you would sit down after some time walking around to his explanations of art and historical movements that impacted the expression of a certain age — you pretended to not know a few things, just so he could speak his heart away and not be interrupted by your own contributions.

You kept silent to make him happy.

Which was exactly what was happening now.

Spencer knew, for sure, that you were hiding something from him. But he also knew that he had no right to force it out. He fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands, his heart still clenching. “But, but... you’d come to me if you needed help, right?”

You nodded, unable to speak. You knew you were wrong, omitting things from him. Just as the guilt was starting to weigh in your heart, Derek passed by you two with a magazine in his hands, throwing it at Spencer, exclaiming, "My man!"

You looked down, already knowing what it was. Spencer was a mess beside you: blushing, stuttering, avoiding your and Derek's gaze and throwing the magazine as far as he could, like it had burned him. Your reaction was a subtle twitch of your lips, not in amusement, but in need to disguise the pang in your heart. You both spent the rest of the flight sitting in silence, simply being in each other's orbit. You, guiltily. Spencer, worriedly.

Your reaction — or lack of — was staggering to Spencer. He thought you two were getting somewhere, despite your closed off nature and demeanor, he thought he was finally cracking you up. Everyday was torture, seeing you walk through the bullpen's glass doors with your professional clothes and your composed figure. It was torture to see you walk around so prettily and serious, holding his bare heart in your hands, and not even realizing it. By now, he lived and thrived on those rare opportunities you had to spend time together as he became more and more covered in you.

As the jet landed and Spencer walked out to talk to Derek, you pettily made sure to step on Lila Archer's face when leaving the jet in sheer frustration.

Back to the bullpen, you had gone to the restroom to splash some water on your face in order to calm your nerves and to tell yourself that it was only a matter of time until things got back to normal — until you got back to normal. Glancing at your reflection in the mirror, you wondered if Spencer could tell that there was something wrong with you, if you had let any of your feelings slip during your short conversation. The version of you that stared back was as impassible as you ever were. As you made your way to your desk in the dimly lit sea of desks, you caught Spencer and Derek talking, both having their backs to you.

Sighing, you just left the headquarters, not wanting to know what they were discussing, or rather, knowing what they were discussing, but unwilling to stay, even if it would quench your curiosity as to what Spencer had been thinking.

Maybe you didn't want to know the answer.

—

The days went by, cases coming left and right, flights making you almost dizzy — not that you would admit, but you were terrified of heights. Between those and your training, you barely had time to think about Spencer and the entire Lila occasion. You spent your days busy with work, studies and physical training in order to keep your mind away from that, but as you lay awake at night, the memories would come back to haunt you relentlessly to the point you had recurring dreams of them. Together, as you watched from the sidelines. You kept to yourself, slipping further and further away from Spencer.

Reid, on the other hand, felt your absence more than anyone. You took a rain check on all the invitations he made, even when he invited you to movie night, when he would definitely choose a Russian movie because you mentioned once how you liked how the language sounds. There wasn't any more donuts on his desk as he arrived in the morning (he would always joke that you and your father secretly lived in the headquarters and that someday he would see Haley bringing your groceries to the secret house), and there was no one for him to throw his paper airplanes, small flashcards with the Russian phonological alphabet, at. The change in your behavior was absurdly clear to everyone: you barely called or texted him anymore, you didn't look his way when someone told a joke to check if he thought it was funny... He was sulking, to say the least. Upon questioning you, you blamed your lack of free time and as he was going to question you further, you said in a teasing tone that not everyone was like him and that the FBI was actually making you go through all the training phases.

Finally, during the end of a particularly frustrating workday, he finally snapped, grabbing your arm before you could enter the elevator. It was only you and him in the otherwise empty hallway. "Ok. What's been going on? And don't," he said, closing his eyes, "don't dance around the subject. Don't say it's the Academy. Don't say you have to work. Don't. Please, be honest with me."

The exasperation in his eyes and in his tone almost broke the wall that hid your true feelings, but as you glanced at him, you figured you couldn't do it. Be honest? What for? To hear that you're nothing more than his best friend? Losing said friend was not an option, not to you, at least. But you also knew that you weren't treating him right, that keeping him out was not at all fair to him, that leaving him in the dark was as hurtful as it would be to lose him.

Breathing deeply, you answered with the same stoic expression you wore every single damn day. "I told you, Reid. People go through different, busier times in their lives." The lie tasted like acid.

Spencer clenched his teeth, frustration and confusion beginning to override some of his social anxieties. “That! That!” He asked through clenched teeth, his gaze intense.

"That what?" You asked, puzzled.

"You... you stopped calling me 'Spence'—not that you did it often, you did it more when we were all alone, and it... it sucks! It sucks because I don't know what happened or what I did that was so wrong to make you stop liking me!"

Come on, just say something! Get angry, get sad, get something!, his mind screamed.

"I never stopped liking you," you said, looking away from him. His words hit a particular spot that you were totally willing to discover later, but the mere thought that he knew that you liked him more than as a friend made you shiver.

"That's not the point! Or—or rather, it is! Because if you didn't stop liking me, why would you act like you did?" He asked, his tone rising a bit.

"Calm down."

"Calm down? I will not calm down!" He almost yelled. His eyes widened slightly, disbelief clear in his features and tone, not to mention the frustration. "Just. Please.” He said, closing his eyes, willing himself to tone it down, not that it worked... “Tell me what you're thinking, what happened to you! For once! Any normal person would react and stop acting like an emotionless robot!"

You gaped like a fish out of water, taking a small step back, his words digging a hole in your heart. Upon hearing his own words and noticing you distancing yourself from him, all the anger vanished from his body. The widened eyes were a sign of realization of what he had said to you. During the early months of friendship, you had confided in him that you struggled with portraying emotion like others normally did. Maybe it had something to do with growing up with a father who did it so perfectly when he was out of the house. When he wasn't actively playing the ‘dad’ part, Aaron Hotchner would wear an unreadable mask like it was his armor, his defense from the outer world, but as soon as he got home, he was back to his main role. You would watch him with his coworkers and mimic him perfectly to make him laugh. At some point, making fun of and imitating his demeanor had become some serious form of self-defense for you. Spencer, then, joked that you were making your way to the perfect job, but then he had gotten serious and told you that it wasn't a flaw. That it wasn't a problem that you kept deeply to yourself sometimes — that it was okay to be yourself around him. You had felt safe by his side since then.

But now, what did those words mean? Were they lies?

He breathed out your name, softly, "I... I... I'm sorry."

"Just drop it," you replied, pushing the elevator button. Your dismissive tone and your action of leaving made Spencer feel utterly desolate, like he had done the wrongest thing in the world and perhaps he had, but he just wanted you to let him in. For once, he wanted to have the answers from your lips, not spend any more time analyzing your every single action and words...

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"You know, Spencer…" he looked up at you when he heard his name, as you held out an arm to hold the elevator doors open. As if thinking better than to say anything, you sighed and turned to enter the elevator, shaking your head with the most disappointed look he had ever seen on your face.

Spencer tried looking at you one last time before the elevator doors closed, and despite your face being as unreadable as it often was, he saw a flicker of sadness that stung his heart more than he liked to admit. If he hadn't done anything wrong before, now he had utterly fucked everything up.

—

The drive home, for Spencer, was a torture. He knew that he had to pay attention to the road ahead of him, to the other vehicles and drivers, but his mind kept drifting to the last glimpse of you back in the headquarters. Your empty eyes appeared behind his eyelids every time he pressed his eyes closed. He willed himself not to cry, to not blur his vision, taking his frustration out on the steering wheel, where his grip was so tight that his knuckles turned white. As he parked his car and looked up to one of his windows, he remembered you. Because of course he would remember you.

The sight was almost comical, to be honest. You, clad in one of the suits that fitted you so well, sitting on his windowsill, a cup of green tea in hands as you stared out the window, trying to analyze every single drop of rain before it reached somewhere outside your vision range. The funny thing was that you had no shoes on, instead, Spencer lent you a mismatched pair, not being one used to having people over, he didn't have a pair of spare slippers. Then, you sat there with a dinosaur-pattern sock on one foot and a striped-pattern sock on the other.

Spencer, sitting on his sofa and holding his own cup (he had let you choose your mug and stayed quiet when you pointed quietly at his favorite), smiled to himself. It was weirdly calming seeing you out of your character, doing something so... human.

"I can feel you staring, you know," you said. And your tone was almost... teasing?

"Right. Sorry." He said, looking down at his steaming tea.

"I'm not scolding you," you said, turning to look at his direction with a grin.

"Right, no—heh..." he replied, bashfully, cheeks reddening at the sight of your smile.

If only you knew... how many hours he would lay awake at night, as thoughts swirled in his head, how everything seemed to shut down at the thought of you. How he would fall asleep to the wish of being on the receiving end of one of your rare smiles, how he appreciated that you were always the first one he talked to upon his arrival at the headquarters. How... how he would do anything for you to look at him under a different light.

Seemingly out of nowhere, you giggled. Everything stopped.

Spencer.exe has stopped working.

"Heheh—I guess... It's not everyday you get to see a Hotchner so out of its—heheh—habitat." You quipped, looking at him with a smile on your face.

Suddenly, Spencer lost his voice. The connection between his brain and his tongue, which felt heavy, disappeared. Completely speechless, eyes slightly wide at the sound of your laughter. It made you laugh a bit more, but when his stare and open mouth got too much to handle, you looked down at your feet, wiggling your toes to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze full of awe. Then, Spencer got back to his senses, smiling at you as you missed it to look away in embarrassment.

Spencer blinked away the tears and left his car, entering his apartment. As he took off his shoes, he let the tears fall at the sight of your windowsill.

—

Meanwhile, you were getting wasted at some bar. Not just any bar, but the one you usually went with Spencer when you were feeling daring and wanted a change from the places where you both used to go to. You were a bit of a lightweight, so a couple of drinks were enough for you to start playing trivia with Spencer and let your gaze linger for longer, basking in the sight of him so carefree, having fun with you.

Upon your arrival, the bartender that usually took care of your orders, MJ, greeted you with a smile. When she saw no one was joining you, she frowned. "Good evening, Hotch. Where's loverboy?"

You sent her a look, but since you were letting your guard down, after all, there were no acquaintances or friends around, you didn't know if the look came out as a glare or if you looked like a kicked puppy. She snorted. "Gee... That bad, huh?" She asked, and you didn't answer again, though you muttered a soft thanks, MJ when she gave you your go-to drink.

And it turned into two drinks. Three. Four...

(MJ was now giving you alcohol-free drinks, too worried for your well-being. You and Spencer started to grow on her as you two kept coming back.)

You rested your chin on your left hand while you traced patterns with your right index finger on the counter. MJ was eyeing you suspiciously, drying a few glasses with a washcloth. "He kissed another girl." You admitted, quietly.

"No way." She gasped.

"Way."

"But... I thought you two were a thing." MJ was baffled, placing down the objects she was holding in sheer shock. "I always thought you two were like... together for years."

"We were a thing.... I think, at least... I don't know, MJ." You sighed, tucking a stray of hair behind your ear. Looking up at her, hazy eyes taking in her focused expression, you sniffled, "we were on this case and then he met a girl and then the next moment the two of them were making out in a pool. In a freaking pool."

She tsked, anger flashing in her eyes, "I swear, those nerdy guys are the worst."

"Yeah..." You muttered, fiddling with your straw. "Can I have another one?"

She pursed her lips, but she relented. Then, as she handed you the liquid, a guy sat next to you. Did he look like Spencer or were you already hallucinating?

"Hi. I'm Dave. Can I buy you a drink...?" He asked with a small smile, wanting to know your name.

No, not Spencer. It’s cool.

"Hi, I..."

MJ cut you off. "Hey, Dave, I think she had too much to drink already."

They exchanged looks and it took you a minute to feel offended by her interruption and knowing you were perfectly capable of speaking for yourself, but realizing you would probably have to entertain a stranger, you felt grateful for it.

Dave left with a sour smile. "Thanks." You muttered, again, looking at MJ.

"Do you need me to get you a cab, honey?"

"That would be great." You said, placing money bills to pay for your drinks and the tip.

MJ looked around to spot someone to keep an eye on the bar as she led you out of the place, hand never leaving your shoulder. As she called a cab, she made you stand on only one leg to make sure you weren't gonna need her to go with you. You scoffed, but obeyed her all the same, with a low snicker. As you two waited for the cab driver, a woman who MJ trusted with her life (and her favorite regulars), you tried to make conversation to make up for embarrassing yourself by talking about Spencer with someone. How pathetic.

"So, what does MJ stand for?"

She chuckled, shaking her head at you and at your dazed eyes. "That's classified information."

"I'm familiar with that."

The cab driver, Paula, arrived. She greeted the both of you with a smile and a cheerful good evening! As you entered the vehicle, you rolled the windows down and pressed the subject further, "Seriously, is it Mary Jane or were your parents more creative?"

She rolled your eyes at you, shaking her head. "It's Mary Jane. MJ because who would take me seriously?"

You smiled. "I like the shoes!"

Paula started driving slowly, just to let other drivers drop their own passengers, as you were lost in your own little world, serious expression taking over your face again, not wavering, as you delved deeper into the whirlwind of thoughts plaguing your head. Paula, looking at you through the rear-view mirror, asked, "Is everything okay, honey?"

You buckled your seatbelt. "Yes, yes. Just... keep driving slowly, please."

"Where to?"

Only then you realized you never gave her an address. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you gave her Spencer's, telling her you were going home.

—

An unknown number had sent Spencer a couple of messages.

[8:32 p.m.] Lovergirl is here, drinking all by herself.

[8:32 p.m.] Water, but still. I'm not having her passed out without you here.

[8:40 p.m.] Sent her home, people were starting to approach.

Throughout the time he had spent with you at the bar, the two of you exchanged numbers with MJ in case she needed your help — you know, being FBI agents and whatnot. But Spencer didn't need to see her name to know it was her and she was talking about you; 'lovergirl' and 'passed out without you here' gave him clue enough. His stomach tied in knots when he read that people were starting to approach her, the nagging feeling that the image conjured in his mind was making him feel almost sick, then, it hit him like a truck: Lila Archer.

Their… case? was as fleeting as a careless glance. To be honest, Spencer accepted her advances to spite you for having such power over him, even if unknowingly so. The young agent felt like you were so out of his league, so out of reach — you were all that pile of confidence and stoicism and pure lusciousness and everything to him. And he was a young guy who truly had barely been kissed so far. How could he approach you, charm his way into your heart, especially when you barely bared it? With Lila, it was... nice. Easy, even. It was nice being wanted, to be able to read her intentions and desires like a children's book. With you, it was a tantalizing challenge, one he was, for the first time, struggling with. It was not like having a high-school crush, not like pining over the untouchable girls that would catch his interest as he grew older. No. This was something new. You had hit him deeper than ever or anyone before.

Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, he gave room to the anxious thoughts regarding your father as well. Would it affect his relationship with his superior? Would it affect your relationship with your father? Spencer felt dizzy just by the mere thought of ruining something uniquely yours. No, he couldn't impose himself on your life like that. It was mean, it was wrong, it was immoral.

To want, to desire, is to be selfish.

It was a bold assumption. To think you were jealous of him. Nevertheless, the signs were all there, had been all along. He was just dumb and scared enough of making assumptions.

A barely there, faint sound of a knock on his door made Spencer fly out of his bed, dropping his phone on the bedroom floor, but he didn't pick it up. He had a suspicion as to who could be knocking on his door, but he was too scared of assuming anything. Again. Opening the door, he saw you, breathing a bit heavily. The stairs, he supposed. You always complained about them. Once you exchanged looks, Spencer’s surprised one and your earnest one, you asked, "Do you really think I'm a robot?"

Shit. He could feel his heart breaking in a million little pieces. The insecure edge of your voice and words made him squeeze his eyes shut; in his mind, he was kicking himself simultaneously as he sank down to his knees, on your feet, begging you to forgive and forget his dumb, stupid, frustrated, unrealistic words.

"No," he breathed out, wincing, almost as if he was in physical pain. "I—I didn't mean to talk about you like that. I was..."

"Frustrated?"

He nodded, silently, eyes never leaving your face. Your speech, albeit way out of the ordinary that he was used to, was flawless. If not by the dilated pupils and the faint smell of alcohol, not to mention MJ's texts, he would dare to say you were perfectly sober. "I was, too." You admitted, looking down.

Spencer made way for you to enter his apartment. He watched as you kicked your shoes off. The sight, that had become as common as the act of breathing, made his way flutter. You intended on staying. Or so he hoped. You walked further into the place, noticing everything as it ever was, as if you hadn't been to his apartment for some time now. "You must be thinking why I'm here," you said, moving to sit on the couch and mentioning him to sit on the small coffee table in front of you, as if you owned the place, and not him.

Perhaps it was true.

He closed the door once you were inside, hesitating for a moment before joining you. He kept noticing things about you; the way you were walking, the way you could barely look him in the eye, the way you looked… “How much did you have to drink?” He asked, quietly.

"Not much. You know I don't usually drink because I can’t hold my drinks. And I'm sure MJ was giving me plain water at some point." You said, looking up at him. Well, at least, your speech flawlessly delivered, even though you were moving a bit more… disoriented than usual. She's totally a Hotchner.

"I... I am," he started, sitting in front of you carefully. "I... I'm sorry. It's just... You've never been so distant. I guess that I was mean to you to elicit some reaction."

Your analytical gaze softened upon his confession. You needed to give him some break, be a little easy on him. Well, easier than you were being as of lately. Nodding lightly, you added, "I'm here to apologize, too. I know... I know that I pushed you away and I made you think that... that that was your fault. It's not."

He froze. No, he wouldn't have you taking the blame for how his actions caused you to react. He looked up at you, reaching out a hand to touch your intertwined ones, "It is."

"Hear me out. Please." You said, lowly, not breaking eye contact. This was so hard, and you had never felt so afraid before. How ironic — to be afraid of being brave. "I... I guess that by now you know why I pulled away."

"I do," he admitted, nervously. "It took me some time, but I... I think I figured you out."

You looked down, embarrassed. It was overwhelming for him to see you portray such different and so many emotions all at once. To you, it was as agonizing as it was freeing. "Well, yes. So... It, um, it wasn't fair. We... we are not something. We are not a thing."

His heart, doing all the thinking and feeling, nearly stopped. As if it wasn't enough, you kept on going, "I'm sorry, I truly am, for how I behaved and how I made you feel by being absent. It's... it's not my place. You have your own life, Reid. I can't be upset with you for making decisions. You're a grown man..." you sighed, glancing at every direction but at him. "I know that I'm wrong, okay? And I know that I shouldn't have pushed you away, nor should I have kept my feelings from you."

Spencer drew in a long breath. He didn't know what to say, but you couldn't be more wrong. All at once, he wanted to scream, but he didn't know what ro say; he wanted to run, but he didn't want to leave you alone — not for a second. He didn't ever want you out of his sight; he didn't want to be the one you were apologizing to, hell, he wanted everything to be okay between them, but it was nice that she was talking to him, finally.

"I..."

Every time he thought he could say something, words failed him. Then, you took it as another opportunity to word-vomit everything you've been feeling. "I was... I was jealous. I didn't like to see that. I didn't like that it happened. But I also know that I have no right to be upset with you because you're single and she's attractive and you're both consenting and willing to do whatever you please, so..." You shrugged as if speaking those words aloud didn't stab new holes in your heart.

Spencer looked at you, totally speechless. It made you snicker. And speak further. Shut up, you idiot. Please, please, please! "And, ah—hahahah—I guess I am, indeed, a bit of a robot because it took me a bit of alcohol to pluck up the courage to come here and totally—hic—destroy our friendship by telling you I love you so much; that I'd hate to see you with anyone other than me. It happened and I hated it. It still stings."

Spencer's heart threatened to fail once again. Your giggles, your words, your confession... His mind completely short-circuited. She loved him. She loved him? She loved him?!?!???!!! That’s what she’d just said, apparently. Okay, calm down. And she’d been jealous. She didn’t like him kissing another woman, because she fucking loved him. Say something, you dumb idiot, his brain shrieked. Say something!

You parted your lips to say something else, but apparently decided against it. Another beat of silence of Spencer staring dumbly at you. "I'm going," you blurted out, standing up.

Spencer, at breakneck speed, stood up as well to stop you from walking away, placing his hands tentatively on your shoulders. Your bodies were now apart by mere inches. "No." His voice was so small and pained that you sat back down.

Despite your apparent willingness, your next words told him about your turmoil. "Why would I stay, Spencer? I've been pouring my heart out to you and you haven't said a thing."

Looking at you, so bare and so vulnerable, Spencer suddenly had flashbacks from when he had lashed out on you earlier and simultaneously fought the feelings that were bubbling inside of him upon your confession. Couldn't you see the sheer shock on his face? Couldn't you see that he was battling against every single bit of self restraint not to pull you into his embrace and make you believe him when he would tell you that you were the only woman for him?

Sure, he had dreamed of you saying those words to him countless times as time went by and you two got closer. Shit, he literally dreamed of it. Of you. Speaking sweet nothings to him... He broke out of his daze, realizing that he was deadly silent, "Don't go..."

"Then say something. I'm here. Not as Hotch's daughter, not as your coworker, not as a part of the team you work with. I'm here as the woman in whose heart you've grown over the last few months. I'm terrified of your answer and you keep depriving me of it." There was a hint of annoyance and hurry on your voice, and he could understand you, he truly could. He just didn't... he lost his voice when he looked at you.

Saying your name softly, he beginned, “I said stupid, untrue things, and I’m sorry. I’m a jerk, and I know that I’m a jerk and—" You quirked your eyebrow and he took a deep breath, trying to cut his rant. "Just... don't sit there and think that I have nothing to say."

"Have you said it?" You pressed it, quirking an eyebrow.

"No." He admitted, widening his eyes a bit as he realized his mistake.

At the same time, you shot, "Not saying something is also an answer for me—"

"—but not for the reasons you're thinking! Do you know how hard it is for me right now?" Spencer was starting to sound very desperate and pathetic, not to mention the fact that he wasn't answering your questions.

Deep breaths (from both ends).

"Look, Reid..." He glared at you upon hearing his last name. "I think I should go home. You and I clearly need some space—"

"What we need to do is talk."

You sighed. "Then why won't you give me an answer?"

Silence.

"You won't even remember this in the morning."

At that, you deemed yourself utterly defeated. This was useless. "I'm sorry I came over. I'm... I'll just go, okay? Please, don't be upset about tonight. I apologize in advance."

The sight of her, once more shying away from him and turning to escape from him, was making Spencer frustrated, with himself, to no end. His heart clenched at your apology, to which he shook his head vehemently. The thing is, he wanted to get ready to answer you, properly, just like he always had some trick up his sleeve or some funny or curious fact to blurt during the most random moments. Spencer was good at speaking, but only when the speech was already ingrained into his mind, something he had read or rehearsed before. Plus, he was sure your state of drunkenness would stop you from remembering that moment.

Spencer dashed to his door, barely stopping you. No, no, no, no, no... She can't leave. This might be my only chance. "You're not going anywhere."

"Excuse me?"

"Stay with me. I don't want you to go." He said, softly, slowly, looking straight into your eyes. It made you dizzy. Either that or the alcohol.

"No?"

"Y-you're drunk and I... I don't think it's safe for you to go by yourself and it's late and... and..." he trailed off, nervously, desperate to get you to stay.

"I'm not drunk."

"You're not fooling me. You might be as concise as ever but you're not sober. Stay."

"Promise... promise you won't be upset with me?"

His heart dropped, heavy with guilt. And with love for you. "I promise."

Spencer silently led you back to the couch, gingerly holding your hand. He felt dazzled, speechless, desperate, frustrated, all at once. But your touch was starting to ground him back to reality, where you were real, having confessed your feelings for him, and he was a mess, not even being able to say anything back. Without much thinking, he said, "You should stay over tonight."

"Okay... I'll take the couch."

"As if I'd let you sleep on the couch."

"It's okay."

"Stop... stop acting like I sent you away."

You kept silent. You felt like he did. Through his touch, he hoped to get you to understand that his feelings were a mess, but they existed, and they were real, and they were yours. "That'd be alright with me, you know. Taking your couch. I think I would sleep better on your floor than I would ever in my bed. To... to say that anything is better if you're somehow involved."

His stomach made a flip-flop. Brain short-circuited again. You yawned, as if you had just made an annoying comment on the weather.

"Are you tired?" He managed to mutter.

"I am."

"Come on. Let's get you to bed."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'? I'm not letting you on the couch. Come on."

"I can't go to your bed with outside clothes." You booped his nose.

He chuckled lowly, confused a little by your words. "Are you seriously worried about clothes?"

"You don't like germs. That's why I removed my shoes."

Okay, he thought, if I manage to put her to sleep without having a heart attack, I definitely don't need a cardiologist's appointment because it would mean I'm that strong.

"Y-you... remembered?" Damn it, Reid. Stop stuttering.

You sighed, tiredly, and rested your head on his shoulder, looking down at his hand holding yours. "I remember everything about you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Fortunately or unfortunately."

Spencer was too stunned to speak. Too stunned, too dumb, too afraid. Damn it. Damn it. He couldn't stop cursing internally. He forced himself to pull you towards his bedroom and even though he still sensed some uncertainty, he kept going. Reaching for a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt, he gave those to you. "You can change into these," as he left the room to make you more comfortable.

"Wait!" You almost shrieked.

"What happened?" He prompted, worriedly, reaching a hand out to touch your arm.

"I don't want you to go."

He bit back a sigh. "I'll be just outside."

"Just... stay here?"

"I can't—" he interrupted himself, just turning around so his back was to you instead. At that, he looked up at his ceiling and prayed to any deity to let him survive that night.

He could hear the sounds of your movements. The zipper being undone, the soft ruffling of the fabric as you tugged your shirt up your head... He was imagining your exposed skin, every perfect inch, how would you look without all those clothes that suited you so nicely, how would it be to touch you, to run his fingertips all over your heated skin, how would it be to kiss every freckle on your body, to—"Done."

Turning around, the sight was adorable, which made him somewhat guilty of his early impure thoughts. "I feel like Alice when she shrunk into a tiny human."

He couldn't fight the smile at your words. He led you to his bed, where you laid on your back on top of the covers, staring at the ceiling. Spencer left you briefly to get you a glass of water and some painkillers to leave by the bedside table. You thanked him with a silent glance. As he turned to leave, once again, you said in a small voice, almost phrasing it like a question, too afraid of the answer. "Stay."

"I'll take the couch."

"You asked me to stay, thrice, I guess… And I did. I asked you once and you did. I still have a few requests left. I'm keeping tabs."

He relented, laying next to you and placing a pillow between you two. You breathed out a chuckle and he shook his head, clearly knowing where your mind had gone to. He placed his hand on top of the pillow, offering his comfort, and then you tentatively placed yours on top of his. He grinned to himself.

It was hard for him to wrap his head around what had happened that night. He knew his words — or lack of — could be read the wrong way and you possibly did, but he also hoped that his actions were speaking louder. Just as he was getting lost in thought again, he heard your voice once more.

"Spence?"

That damned nickname.

"Thanks for, um, being so respectful. Not that I don't think you'd be. But, um, as you've said, I'm drunk. And I told you I love you. And you're simply holding my hand." He gulped. He was keeping count, too, of how many times you said you loved him. Twice, so far, but he wanted so much more, endlessly. He wanted to lose track. "I guess... that makes me love you even more," you finished, crushing his heart between your palms, voice thick with sleep.

When he finally turned his head to look at you, your eyes were closed and you looked peaceful, drifting off to sleep. Then, when he was sure you were actually asleep, he stood up from his bed, grabbing a pillow and a spare blanket to lay on the floor.

"I'll gladly sleep on my floor if it means I get to have you around, too..."

—

Spencer didn't get any sleep.

He tossed and turned on the floor all night long, both because his carpet was not the most comfortable spot to sleep on, but also and mostly because there was no way in hell his mind stopped working. All through the night, Spencer fought the urge to shake you awake to ask if this was real, if you really loved him, if the words that slipped through your lips were in fact your feelings towards him. Despite his curiosity and eagerness, he let you sleep, figuring that he had already put you through too much already. As you slept, a movie played on his mind: your moments together, your confession of love, and overthinking the words we are not something. We are not a thing. He feared that you would wake up and realize how badly he had screwed up and decide not to want him anymore. Yes, he was that anxious.

You, on the other hand, even though confused by his lack of answer to your heart’s words, felt lighter than ever by speaking out your truth (the booze did help you a lot, though). Being as analytical as you were had its perks. One of them is that you never let yourself suffer too much for too long, too attached to reality to care much about the rest. So what if he rejected you? Life goes on — and that’s what you thought with every other loser that you caught yourself thinking too much of. Spencer, though… Who were you kidding? Spencer was Spencer. And that meant the world… It wasn’t so bad, if he actually rejected you… you’d only have to face him every day, until the rest of your lives, doomed to work together, cursed to think and rethink all over again small, fleeting moments such as an exchange of longing glances.

(You felt strangely calm due to your touch with reality. Maybe, just maybe, you were hoping for the best based on his care with and for you. But boy, were you ready to give him a piece of your mind.)

As your eyes fluttered open, you stretched your limbs on an unfamiliar bed with too much space. Upon your confusion, the memories came back with full force. You jolted, sitting down, searching for him — and, to be honest, not wanting to find him. The house was deadly silent, so you tried to trick yourself that you were sure he wasn't there. You dashed to the bathroom, taking a quick shower to get rid of the shame and the faint reek of alcohol. As you moved around his stuff, you couldn't help but think that you were so familiar with his things that it was almost like you belonged there. Sigh. It turns out that hiding emotions is easier than feeling them, especially their extremes.

As soon as you finished putting on your own clothes, you stopped dead in your tracks as you heard footsteps outside the bedroom. You froze, not knowing what to say. Or do.

Spencer entered the room, holding a tray meticulously organized with some food on it. “Morning. I, um, made you breakfast.” Because of course he would make you fucking breakfast. 

“Morning,” you replied awkwardly and hoarsely. Maybe you cried a little bit, who knows… “Thanks, you didn't have to.”

“I did.”

You take your time to get a good look at him. He had bags under his eyes that appeared to be tired. The sight made your heart drop. “I'm sorry…”

“Don't be.”

“But I was wrong.”

“So was I.”

“But—”

“Last night you said some things. Do you, uh, do you remember what you told me?” You nodded, unable to speak. “Do you remember what you told me?” He repeated, trying to get a verbal answer from you.

“Yes, Spencer. I remember.”

“Can you listen to what I have to say now?”

You nodded, weakly.

“I didn't say anything because… because everything had gone in the most opposite direction they could've gone.” He said, approaching you calmly. “I was up the entire night, hoping to find the right words to tell you that would make you believe me after I… was stupid. I… First, I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I know you said that we're nothing, that we weren't something, that we didn't have anything… but… but you're everything to me.” At that, your eyes finally met his. The intensity of your gaze made him shudder, but he kept going. “All the time we've spent together was nothing compared to what I want to have with you… and… and… God! Do you have any idea of the torture I was put through with you? Constantly thinking of what we could be, what we should be, too scared of your reaction or that—that—that Hotch decided to chop off my neck because he found out that I was crushing on his only daughter!”

At the mention of your dad, you burst out laughing. Seriously? That was such a cliché! “Hey! I'm serious!”

“I'm sorry…” You bit your bottom lip, fighting the urge to laugh at him some more. He was adorable.

“As I was saying,” he continued, trying to sound annoyed, but a hint of a smile threatened to break on his lips, and he didn't pull away when you approached him nor he did when you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest, looking up at him, adoringly. He looked down, meeting your gaze,  “I… I love you. I love you too. God, it just feels so good to say that!”

You giggled, again. God, he could never get used to that sound.

“And I’m sorry for being so mean to you when I was frustrated. I should have been more patient and my unthoughtful words hurt you.” You kept silent, remembering his words. “I—I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you’ll have me.” He added, intimidated by your gaze.

Silence. “Well, I accept your apologies. I was unfair to you as well. And you know where I stand when it comes to you. My feelings, I mean.”

“I do… But…”

“But?”

“I'd like to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you love me?”

“I don't know. Do I, really?” You joked.

He blushed furiously, ready to stutter himself out of that situation. “No, I mean… you—you said that—that you remembered what you said last night and… so… putting two and two…”

Another giggle interrupted him. You traced his jawline, leaning up to kiss his right cheek. “I really, really love you.” A kiss to his left cheek. He chuckled. “I love you.” A kiss on the tip of his nose, to which he snorted, totally lovestruck. “So much.” A lingering, tender kiss to his forehead. He closed his eyes, already anticipating the next spot you would press your soft lips to.

As you made your way to finally kiss his lips, you decided to tease him and let him wait for a bit longer. Spencer groaned in protest and you chuckled a bit, finally deciding that it was enough. Pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, making him sigh, you were thrilling on making him more and more eager. His grip on you tightened just slightly as he let out a shaky breath. You wanted to laugh, but instead, you poked fun at him. “Now you know what it's like to be teased.”

“I love you. Oh, Jesus… You're driving me insane. You're here… And you, you're you…”

You grinned, looking up at him, finally, finally pressing your lips to his. As you let out a small sigh, his breath hitched, both of you utterly drowning in relief and satisfaction. You pulled back a bit, grinning, going back to kissing him. Spencer's hands found your jawline, sliding back to tangle in your hair as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth. Parting your lips slightly, you granted him full access to kiss you properly, and he moaned at the taste of you, gripping your hair rougher than before. You groaned softly, and he proudly heard and swallowed all your small sounds.

The ring of a phone broke the urgent atmosphere that was building between you two. Spencer ignored it, letting it ring until you pulled away, gasping for air. As you did, the noise stopped and you met his lost eyes, totally dumbstruck, and you laughed because you probably looked the same way. He gave you a charming, lopsided grin, too stupid, too hypnotized to say anything.

The phone began ringing again. “Son of a…!” he cursed, picking up the phone. “Hi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid and unless this is an absolute emergency, I'm kinda busy—”

“Reid.” Aaron Hotchner's firm voice hit Spencer like a bucket of cold water. Widening his eyes, he gulped.

“Yes… sir?” You smiled at that. Of course you knew who he was talking to.

“We have a new case.” Hotch announced.

“Oh… okay… I, um, I—I'll be there in 20.”

Silence.

“Is everything okay, Reid?” Hotchner could read anyone, Spencer was now sure of that. Even through the goddamned phone.

“Wh—yeah, yeah… Everything's… totally f—fine.” He cursed under his breath as you gripped his vest, trying not to laugh.

“Do you know where she is?” Hotch inquired after another moment of quietness. 

“Who?” He squeaked. You chuckled silently.

“My daughter.” Of course it was his daughter.

Playing dumb is not a good look on you, you mouthed.

“N—no… I haven't… heard from her.”

“Sure.” Hotch said, skeptically. Spencer could feel the sweat on his forehead. After a moment, your father finished the call with an unreadable “We need to talk.”

Once the phone call ended, you burst out laughing at Spencer's reaction. “Not funny.” He protested, a frown on his face and a soft smile betraying his faux frustration.

“Come on, it is funny.”

He glared at you. “What do you think he wants to talk about?”

“I don't know. Men talk. I wouldn't want to get involved.” You said, grinning, pulling him by his vest.

He squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the feeling of having you so close. “Do you think he knows?”

“Of course he knows.”

“How are you so collected?”

“Because I'm not the one he's going to scare to death, apparently.”

“He said ‘we’ need to talk. Emphasizing ‘we’. If he knows you’re here, then it probably—” you cut him off with a kiss.

“Well, then… Are you ready to face your biggest fear? The frightening Aaron Hotchner?”

Glancing at you adoringly, he chuckled. “I’d face him and whoever, whatever, a thousand times, if it meant that I could get you in the end.”

—

A couple days after the case, you and Spencer meet again, in your apartment. Sitting down on the couch, you ask him, amusedly, “Do you think he noticed?” 

“Totally. I could barely look him in the eye for the first moments,” He said with a fond smile, hiding from you the fact that he had awkwardly and bravely spoken to your dad about your relationship. You laughed, placing your legs on the top of his legs. “I guess we should thank Lila, after all.” He joked, and you laughed out loud. 

Leaning him closer to him, grabbing his chin and looking deep into his eyes, you muttered, “Don’t ever say her name again, Spence.”

Your wish was always his command. It would always be.

[whatifitis]

♡ I watched it begin again - LN 4 ♡

Summary: You've moved on and found happiness... when Lando reappears and tells you something you truly never expected to hear, but something you had also wished for for so long.

Author's Note: this is the much awaited part 2 to 'i wish you would've stay'. i wanna say a quick thank you to those who read part 1 and shared your thoughts on it, it really made me feel so special 😭 this part would not have been written without yall <3

WC: 2415

CW: fluff, maybe a very little amount of angst? pettiness, if you squint there's a sort of thrupple, or whatever the 4 count of that word is, hinting, overuse of song references

“Okay, I think it’s done.”

“Yay! I can finally see this masterpiece you’ve created.” you smiled. 

“Eh, masterpiece is a bit of a reach. But I definitely tried my hardest to capture your beautiful soul.”

“Ohhh, shush you. Flattering me so much.”

“It’s so you don’t hate me after you see this monstrosity.”

“Okay, enough yapping. Show me.” 

You watched as he took a deep breath and turned the sketchbook towards you.

“Oh. My. God.” you try to stifle your laugh. 

“Why are you laughing?” Gabe chuckled. 

“I’m not laughing. It’s beautiful. Oh my- Where were you when it was time for senior photos?”

“No. Fuck off. That’s rude.” you watched as Gabe tossed a pillow at you and tried to refrain from laughing as hard as you are. 

You were laughing so hard it was getting hard to breathe and tears were rolling down your face. Being with Gabe always felt so high school in a way. There was no pressure or drama within this place. It was just love. 

You and Gabe have been dating for a little over a year and it’s been the greatest time of your life. When the two of you met, you really weren’t looking for anything. You were focused on work and getting your life in line when he happened. 

Since he’s come into your life, it’s like everythings brighter. And while that may sound cliche, it’s true. He makes everything feel miniscule, like as long as he’s there at the end of the day, everything will be okay. 

He was something new as well. For so long, you had spent your time around boys and their expensive cars like range rovers and Aston Martins, but Gabe is just Gabe. He’s a real person who enjoys the same things that you do and he truly loves you for you. And he loves spending time with you. On your first date, he wasn’t ready for the date to be over, so he asked you to walk around Kohl’s with him. And still, to this day, he asks if you want to walk around Kohl’s together, just for a few more moments with you. 

He was the king of your heart.   

“Oh shit, I gotta get going. I have that meeting with Matt tomorrow about working on that album.” Gabe said as he stood up from the couch and stretched, “Can we meet for lunch? I don’t think I can wait all day to see you again.” pulling you closer to him, softly gripping your waist. 

“Definitely, I might be a bit late cause I need to talk to Marjorie about letting me in on that case.” 

“Amazing.” he said as he pressed his lips to yours, feeling your soft lips on his and pouring himself into you. 

The two of you pull apart and you walk him to the door of your apartment. 

“See you tomorrow, my love.” 

“Call me when you get home, please.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Gabe jokes, “At home, I’ve got to greet the most demanding and most precious person in my life. She deserves all my attention.”

“Olive is a cat and she is far from precious.”

“You’re just jealous she prefers lying on me rather than you.”

“We’re girls! There’s a girl code and she’s not sticking to it.”

“I’ll see if I can talk some sense into her then. For the love of my life.” Gabe says, pecking your lips one final time before walking off. 

“Save some time for me.” you called out. 

“All my time is yours, my darling.” 

He turns the corner and once he’s out of sight, you step back into your apartment and close the door. You turn your back to press against the door and you couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across your face. Even after all this time, he still makes your heart skip. 

You started to get ready for bed and had just settled into your bedsheets when your phone started playing your ringtone for Gabe, ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ by Rick Astley. You don’t remember exactly how it became one of your songs, but it somehow made its way there. You’d even joked with him how if the two of you ever broke up, you hoped that Rick Rolling would become a thing again so that he would be tormented with the thought of you. 

You picked up the phone to hear some shuffling on the other line. “Hello?” you call out. 

“Hey, sorry. I was just taking off my jacket. I made it home.”

“Amazing. How’s home?” 

“It’s okay. Would be better if you were here with me.”

“You just spent all day with me. Are you not sick of me?” you half-joked. 

“I could never be sick of you. You’re my favorite thing the universe gifted us on earth.”

“Stop. You’re gonna make me cry.”

“I’m sorry, my love. I don’t like making you cry, unless it’s from laughter. Ya know, you’re really pretty when you laugh.”

“Only when I laugh?” you poke. 

“Nuh uh. You’re always pretty. So pretty that it almost kills me. But I really like it when you laugh. Especially when I’m the one making you laugh.”

“I like it when you make me laugh too.” you are practically melting at this man's words. He always has you wrapped around his finger and you think he knows. But little do you know, that’s how he feels about you. 

You turn to look at the clock by your bedside and sigh. Even after having him all day, somehow you just want him more. 

“I gotta go to sleep now, my angel. If I sleep now, I can get at least 7 hours of sleep.” you huff. 

“You should really sleep earlier so you can actually sleep well. We both know you’re not sleeping 7 hours with your sleeping habits.”

“Yeahhhh. Whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow, darling.” 

“I’ll be waiting, love.” 

The silence sounds after the beep. Was this what true love felt like? Is this how it feels to be loved? How long has it been since someone made you feel like this? For a while, you thought the plane was going down. But someway, somehow, Gabe turned it right around. He would literally break his back to make you break a smile. For the first time ever, you were falling in love with someone who was falling in love with you. 

The next morning, after some strenuous phone calls and exhausting meetings, you excitedly made your way to the restaurant you were meeting Gabe at. You were running a bit early so you decided to take the scenic route to the restaurant, knowing Gabe wouldn’t be there for another 20 minutes. 

You were enjoying the afternoon sun and the fresh air that came with it when you heard something from behind, “Y/n?” 

Why does this person sound familiar? He sounds like… like someone but you can’t quite place your finger on it. 

“Y/n, is that you?” 

When you turn to see who it is, you’re met with them. Those eyes, the eyes you used to dream of. But now they look different, they look so dull and tired. His frame looks lighter and his smile looks torn. 

“Lando?”

“Wow, you look, I mean you look beautiful. You haven’t changed a bit since the last time I saw you.” he says, giving you a soft, shy smile. 

“Yeah. It’s been quite some time.” “Sorry. Uh, how have you been?” 

“I’ve been good. Really good, actually. How about you? How’s Hannah?”

“I’ve been okay and ehm, Hannah and I broke up last year.”

“Oh no. I’m sorry to hear. But I’m sure you’ll find someone. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.”

“Yeah. I’ve actually been thinking about you recently. Like, a lot.” he softly huffs. 

“Oh.”

“I’ve been meaning to reach out but I wasn’t sure how. I’m actually glad I ran into you now.”

“Lando, I think you-”

“No, please. Let me explain myself, please.”

You stood there for a beat, not knowing that to say. You couldn’t get a single word out. Why? It was just Lando. 

He watches your face, trying to study it and read what you’re thinking, but he can’t, “I have a lot to get off my chest. I won’t take long. Please.”

“Okay.”

With a deep inhale, Lando begins “I fucked up. Big time. I never should have, essentially, ghosted you. All you ever did was love me and care for me. But I just went off and dated another girl cause I didn’t realize it at the time. Y/n, if we’re being honest, I’m still in love with you. And it took a long time for me to realize. Everything is nothing without you. I’m nothing without you. I miss you so much and I regret ever letting you go. Can we start fresh, please? I won’t let you go this time. I’ll hold you closer than I ever did before.”

“I can’t. You hurt me a lot. It took me so long to realize I was going to be okay without you. It took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t my fault for you leaving. That I am good enough and capable of being loved. I’m happy now. I found someone that I love and who loves me. Like, truly loves me. He made me realize that nothing was wrong with me.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you were seeing someone. But, does he really make you happy? Happier than I ever made you?” there are tears brimming his eyes. 

“Yeah, he does. I don’t get it, Lando. I was happy for you when you met Hannah, why can’t you be happy for me?” 

“Because I know you still feel something for me. And I truly believe that the universe brought us here today for a reason. Our story isn’t over, y/n.”

“It is over. You can say we’ll be together someday, but things have changed. We’re not the same people we were before and I found my person.”

“So why can’t I stop feeling this way?” he says, a tear slipping down his face. “Because you’re human.” you say, reaching your hand to cup the side of his face, but you don’t. You stop yourself before your fingertips can feel his skin beneath yours because it isn’t fair to him. 

“Do you regret me?” he asks through a wavering voice. 

“No, I don’t regret you. You were one of the most beautiful chapters of my life and you taught me a lot. You know, I used to look for you in a sea of people, knowing you weren’t there. It’s kinda stupid cause we never really existed but-” “We did exist. Just not in the way we should’ve. The way we could’ve if I wasn’t a massive fuck up.”

“You’re not a fuck up. Listen, there was happiness because of you and there was happiness after you. That’s just the way life goes. So there will be happiness after this.’’

“I don’t want there to be an after you. I’m trying my best. I pray that you’ll come back to me one day. And if you do, I’ll give up my hopes and dreams in F1 cause I’ll have my biggest dream of all. You.”

“You can’t change things by loving someone harder. I used to wish you would’ve stayed. But this isn’t a fairytale where you’re my knight in shining armor. I found someone who actually treats me well. And the cost of trying isn’t greater than the reward of having me, to him. He actually loves me and wants to be with me. I used to be so naive and I would get so lost in your eyes, I didn’t realize that being in love wasn’t fighting to have the upper hand.” 

He’s near sobbing when he tells you, “I want to believe I haven’t lost you.”

“I’ll always be here for you. But I can’t be with you. It’s too late, Lando. My heart doesn’t soften to your name anymore.”

“Do you think there’s even a slight possibility that you could fall in love with me again?”

You look at him. This was the boy you once loved. The one you would’ve done anything for, even after everything he’d done. You used to wait for him to love you again. But now all you see is the boy who broke your heart and left you bereft and reeling. 

“No. I hope you find love, Lando. I really do. But it won’t be me. Not anymore.”

With that, you turn your back to him and walk away. It might’ve been harsh, but you couldn’t stand there any longer. The result wouldn't be different if you’d stayed longer and comforted him. You’re happy with Gabe and he has never given you a reason to doubt him. You’d been hurt enough by Lando. But every little moment led you right to where you should be. 

When you finally arrived at the restaurant, Gabe was already there. When he sees you, it’s like he saw you for the first time. There was a sparkle in his eyes and the toothiest grin spread across his face. 

He stands to greet you with a kiss that could heal every wound that might have reopened today. He pulls a chair out for you and takes his seat right at your side. 

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi. I’m sorry I’m late. It’s a long story and I can tell you all about it later. Right now I just want it to be us. Let the world fade away for a bit.”

“Sounds like a plan then. I already ordered your Coke with a lime. It should be on its way.” Gabe says as he plants a thousand soft kisses on your hand. He’s been doing it a lot lately, now that you think about it. 

“You’ve been kissing my hand a lot recently. Why?” you ask out of curiosity. 

“Because whenever I kiss your hand, you hold my face.” 

Gabe is a daydream and you’re the one he’s walking to. You think he’s the one thing you got right. 

You hear your phone ping on the table. You quickly open it to mute it for your lunch date but the text on the screen catches your eye. 

Oscah: So should Lily and I meet you guys at your place or ours? 😉 

Those who wanted to be tagged in part 2: @f1fantasys @jxnellat @hoeforsirius @nina-or-anna-or-nora @sturmatt @hurtblossom

[natalievoncatte]

“She’s dying.”

Cait looked up from the spread of paperwork on her desk -no one told her that seizing sold command of the city as a military dictator would involve so much paperwork- and found Loris standing in her doorway.

“I was under the impression that you’d handed in your badge and left the force.”

“She’s dying.”

Cait said nothing, scratching at one of the papers with a pen, signing off on something that most certainly did not require her attention.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

She looked away, but still he dared throw a broad shadow across the room, across her.

“Yes, you do.”

Cait let out a low, rasping sigh, a deep gurgle of frustration in the back of her throat. Her fingers dug into her desk and she itched to hold a gunstock in her hands. She was tired of these problems, she was tired of challenges she couldn’t just shoot, like Ambessa ramping up the pressure to lead a full-strength incursion into the Undercity to clear the Lanes. Rooting out the chem barons hadn’t been ending, it turned out, as they were almost a stabilizing influence and… and she had seen artwork of Jinx, the people of the Lanes seeing her as some kind of folk hero.

“She disobeyed my orders and abandoned our mission. Because of her, Jinx escaped. Trusting her was a mistake.”

“Not how she told it.”

Exasperated, Cait spun, ready to order him to leave lest he end up in Stillwater himself, but then she froze. Is that how she handled her problems now, by locking then up in dungeons without a trial?

How had it come to this? She finally had the authority she craved in her hands and yet it seemed every move she made worsened the very problems she’d dedicated her life to solving. She had almost died to show the city what the Enforcers could be, had pleaded with the Council to show the Undercity grace, to recognize what their people and their government had done to their neighbors… and now she was the Council, and how would she now receive those same pleas she’d once made?

Loris regards her coolly. The big man held his cards close to the vest, didn’t show emotion, but during their strike raids he’d taken on a protective role over all of them, the oldest member of the team. She wouldn’t go so far as to say he was a mentor, or even a friend, he was her subordinate, but she did respect him.

“She’s been making her way fighting in the pits. She fights all day and drinks all night, barely eats, barely sleeps. By the time I left I don’t think she’d eaten I three days and she lost two straight bouts to jobbers. It’ll kill her soon enough, the bottle or an opponent with something to prove or just some random thug with a knife. Is that what you want?”

Cait kept her face schooled, her posture prim. How dare he speak to her so frankly?

The trembling in her legs, she couldn’t fight, nor the impulse to worry her lip with her teeth. She suddenly felt five years old again, confessing some petty transgression to her mother. What would her mother think of what she’d done?

“What are you suggesting.”

“We bring her home. Go in, get her, get out through the vents. Quick and quiet, no uniforms. Just us.”

Cait hesitated. This could be a trap- some wannabe ruler of the Lanes might have put him up to this to lure her into the Undercity to be dealt with directly. No, she wasn’t that much of a fool.

Her jaw twisted. Good gods she’d have someone tasting her food next. What was she turning into?

“We need someone else to watch our backs. Maddie.”

Loris nodded. “Sooner we go, the better.”

“I’ll ready myself now.”

“You’ll need a disguise.”

“I have one.”

Cait hadn’t worn these clothes since the night she lay on her bed, sharing secrets with Vi, trading gentle touches. If she had to pinpoint a moment that she’d fallen in love with Violet it was the gentle way she took Cait’s hand and pressed it to her cheek, such adoration in her eyes.

What had she done?

The three of them stole into the Undercity the same way they had as a team- the ventilation shafts. Loris knew the way.

As they worked their way through the always and twisting warrens of Zaun, Cait could only think of the first time she’d come here- scared and trying to put on a brave face as she rushed after the brash, confident brick wall of a woman she’d followed here, desperately hoping that her sudden conviction that it was a terrible idea was wrong.

It actually turned out worse than a terrible idea. She’d almost been blown up, had been kidnapped, almost murdered by Silco’s men if not for Vi punching out an entire tower structure.

It had been the best idea she’d ever had.

“We’re here,” said Loris.

“It looks like they dump bodies here,” said Maddie, looking up at the tenement.

“Shut up,” Cait snapped, remembering something similar she’d said once, not knowing the reverent meaning the place held for Vi.

Loris looked up at one of the windows.

“We’d best hope she’s here. If she’s not we’re going to have trouble.”

“Lead the way.”

Cait kept her head down and her hood up -they’d all be killed if she were recognized- as the trio made their way up. Vi was living in a flop house. All around were Shimmer addicts. Cait felt her gut seize as she saw them trembling, pale and sweaty and rubbing at sores.

She had taken away the chemical that kept the worst of it at bay for them, but then what had she done? Just smashing the chem barons didn’t reverse the harm they’d caused. The addicted were still here.

When they reached Vi’s room, Loris knocked and the door swung open, unbarred.

At first, Cait thought this a mistake, or that Vi had moved on, but then she realized the broken form lying on the narrow, sweat-stained bed was Vi.

She’d lost weight, and was pale as a sheet except for the profusion of bruises and scrapes that covered her back and arms. There were bottles and broken glass strewn about everywhere and the wall mirror was shattered, as if from a punch.

Cait, forgetting herself, rushed to Vi’s side and knelt by the bed.

“Vi? Vi? Vi, wake up.”

Glassy eyed, Vi didn’t seem to see her.

Swallowing hard, Cait probed, quickly checking her over for injuries.

She had a broken rib at the very least. Fuck!

“Vi?”

“Cupcake?” Vi murmured. “Are you real?”

“Cupcake?” Maddie broke in. “Is she hungry?”

“Shut up,” Cait hissed. “We have to go, we’ve been here too long already.”

“Let’s get her to the vents and back topside,” said Loris.

“Help me carry her,” said Cait.

“I’ve got her,” the big man said.

Something in Cait crumbled when she saw how easily he lifted Vi from the bed. Cait pulled her hood low and they swaddled Vi in what they could find, scrambling to avoid notice. Cait’s heart pounded with every step and she was sure they’d be spotted and mobbed and Zaun would be parading the body of the Commander of Piltover around the streets by morning.

Somehow, they made it. As the approached the bridge crossing, Cait her the sounds of rifles racking and threw back her hood.

“Get out of my way,” she snarled.

Her Enforcers obliged.

“Where are we taking her?” said Loris.

“Home.”

As soon as she was able, she arranged for transport and Loris lowered Vi onto a stretcher. It might have been better to conduct her to a hospital, but Cait would have none of that.

She took Vi home, had her men lay Vi in her bed, then harshly ordered them out.

“Thank you,” she said to Loris and Maddie.

The former nodded curtly and left. Maddie lingered for a moment, her eyes searching the room before she slipped out as Cait asked her to find her father.

Tobias appeared. Maddie did not join him, for which she was grateful.

Cait said nothing and her father kept his own council just as readily. They hadn’t been speaking much, the heartfelt talks and reminisces drying up as Cait threw herself into her work. She could sense her father’s distaste but above all else, he was a doctor. Cait waited as he made his examination.

Finally he said, “her torso will need binding for the broken rib, and those cuts will be needing treatment. She’s been drinking.”

Cait nodded.

“The withdrawal will be terrible for her.”

Cait nodded vigorously, biting her lip as she looked down at Vi.

“I’ll see to bringing in some nurses to help me. Stay back, and let us work.”

Her father called upon his own staff from the hospital and soon Vi was surrounded.

With all her authority, Cait could do nothing but watch as Vi’s ribs were bandaged for support. She didn’t wake through any of it, even as her body jerked while her wounds were cleaned and Cait herself unwound her wraps.

Her father ran a line into Vi’s arm and hung a bottle of fluids.

“I’ve started her on normal saline and a nutritional supplement, antibiotics to be administered every twelve hours on the hour.”

“Thank you.”

“I did it for you.”

Cait was not prepared to be alone with Vi but it happened anyway. She sat by the bedside and watched Vi breathe, her chest rising and falling steadily. She would call names in her sleep: Mom. Vander. Powder.

Cait.

Cait. Cait. Cait.

Vi called her name like a prayer, voice that of a lonely searcher calling out in the dark.

“I’m here,” Cait whispered, “I’m here, Vi. Just open your eyes.”

Hours stretched into a day, two. Cait was slumped in her chair when it happened, using her cape as a blanket.

“Cait?”

Her voice sounded different, somehow more coherent. It took Cait a stunned moment to realize that Vi was looking at her.

“Where am I?”

“I brought you home.”

Vi grunted as she started to sit up. Cait jolted to her feet and pressed her back down, gently.

“You’ve a broken rib, and the withdrawal.”

Vi fell back into the pillows.

“You should have left me where you found me, Cupcake.”

“I never should have left you at all.”

[keeryhours]

real love, baby - chapter one

Billy Hargrove x female! reader

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Billy Hargrove Masterlist

Summary:

You get some life changing news, and telling Billy doesn’t go as planned.

Warnings:

Pregnancy, angst

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N:

Yay a new series! I’ve been dying to write for Billy again. I hope you guys like this, your comments and support mean the world to me.

When Billy had arrived at Hawkins High for the first time, roaring into the parking lot in his blue Camaro and wearing the tightest jeans known to man, he had caught the attention of every girl in school.

Including you.

You weren’t exactly…popular. Actually, you were considered a freak. Best friends with Eddie Munson and proud member of the Hellfire club, you caught a lot of shit from your classmates. You knew from the second you saw Billy Hargrove that you never had a chance.

You had never been more surprised to be wrong.

You knew Billy had a reputation for going through girls like crazy, sleeping with them and leaving them high and dry. Yet you still found yourself falling for him. And when he approached you and asked you out, you said yes embarrassingly fast.

“Asking you out” ended up being a late night trip to Lover’s Lake, making out before moving into the backseat and letting him fuck you. That might sound crude, but there was no better way to describe it. It certainly wasn’t making love.

Your late night visits with Billy became a regular thing. It was kept quiet - Billy didn’t tell anyone, and he acted like he didn’t know you at school. The only person who knew was Eddie, because he was your best friend in the world and you told him everything. He did not approve, but he wasn’t about to tell you how to live your life. He was just scared you’d get hurt.

Which, of course, you inevitably did. But we’ll get to that.

You held out hope that one day Billy might see you as more than a secret hookup, that he might take you out on an actual date and show you off at school, but you knew those were just dreams. Deep down, you knew Billy was embarrassed to be seen with you. He showed up at Hawkins High and became the most popular guy in school - he wasn’t about to let anyone know he was secretly sleeping with The Freak.

This routine worked out for a while. That is, until you had the realization you had skipped your period while you were throwing your guts up before school one morning. Ice cold fear struck into your heart, and you realized you had really fucked up.

That day you went to school looking nearly as bad as you felt. Carol Perkins giggled as you passed her in the hallway, whispering something to Heather Holloway. You had too much on your mind to care. Billy gave you a strange look when he saw you, but didn’t say anything.

You found Eddie, Gareth, Jeff and Grant at your usual spot in the cafeteria. You walked over and took a seat, not even bothering to get anything to eat because it would just come back up anyway.

Eddie did a double take when he saw you. “Jesus,” he said, taking in your messy hair, bloodshot eyes and melancholy expression. “What happened to you?”

The other guys were deep in conversation about the latest campaign. You leaned closer to Eddie. “I skipped my period. And now I’m getting sick.”

Eddie just blinked at you. He looked like he didnt understand - you saw the moment the realization dawned on him. “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, looking down at the table. “Oh, shit.”

“Did you…take a test?” Eddie whispered, leaning in closer to you.

“No.” You picked at a loose string on the sleeve of your hoodie. “I figured I would go to the doctor so I don’t fuck it up.”

Eddie looked around the cafeteria before his eyes landed on you again. “Do you want me to take you?”

Your head snapped up to meet his gaze. “You would do that?”

Eddie smiled. “Well, yeah, of course. You’re my best friend. I’m not gonna make you go alone.”

You felt relieved to hear that. This was scary enough without having to go through it all alone. “I don’t know how I would have even made it there by myself without alerting my parents anyway.”

“Eddie Munson chauffeur, at your service,” he said with a bow. You snorted.

“Thanks, Eds.”

That evening after school you rushed home before your parents could get there and picked up the phone. You dialed the number for your primary care doctor’s office with shaking hands and made the appointment, not telling the receptionist over the phone what it was for. You figured you’d deal with that when you got there.

The next day passed in a blur. You looked presentable at least, but you had to leave class twice to go throw up in the bathroom. Billy gave you a concerned look when he saw you in the hallway again, but you ignored him.

After school you met Eddie at his van. He opened the passenger side door for you - “My lady,” he said with a dramatic bow - before jumping in the driver’s seat and starting up the old vehicle. You noticed Billy watching you from his Camaro where he waited for his younger sister.

Eddie blasted music over the radio while you drove. It made you feel better because you weren’t in the mood for conversation. The butterflies in your stomach made you feel like you could throw up again. You took deep breaths as he drove to keep the nausea under control. Eddie always drove like a maniac.

He pulled into the parking lot of the doctor’s office, some older ladies standing by their cars giving you a dirty look as the van tore into the parking lot blasting Metallica. Eddie didn’t notice.

He walked with you into the office, taking a seat in the waiting room while you went to reception to check in. You gave the receptionist your name, and she handed you a clipboard and pen and told you to take a seat.

The questions on the forms were standard. Your personal information, health history, medications, etc. By the time you finished with it, a nurse was opening the door and calling your name. Eddie squeezed your knee before you stood, letting you know he was here for support and would be right where you left him.

The nurse had you do the usual tasks - your weight and height, pee in a cup, and they took some blood samples. You waited in the exam room for the doctor, kicking your feet as you sat on the tall table. You felt more like a child than you had in the past few years.

When the doctor walked in carrying a clipboard and saying your name, you felt like you could throw up for the millionth time. He looked at you solemnly, and you knew it wasn’t going to be good news.

“Your pregnancy test came back positive,” he said. “Based on your bloodwork, I would estimate you at about 6 weeks.”

The room spun around you. You suddenly felt way too hot and claustrophobic in this tiny room. You wished you had asked Eddie to come back with you. You felt incredibly dizzy, like you could pass out. This was not happening. It was not happening.

“You’ll need to start taking prenatal vitamins,” he continued, oblivious to your internal panic. “I’ll give you some brochures with information and resources.”

You left the doctor’s office with a handful of pamphlets on pregnancy, birth, babies, and motherhood. Your face was white as a ghost, and Eddie clocked it the second you walked back into the waiting room.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, standing as you approached him and wrapping you in a tight hug. The tears fell as you buried your face in his chest. He stroked your hair, whispering comforting words in your ear. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna figure this out. You’re gonna be okay.”

Eddie helped you walk back out to the van on shaking legs. You couldn’t stop the tears now. Your life was over. Billy was never going to want to stick around for this.

Oh, god. Billy.

You didn’t even want to tell him. It was going to be a disaster. He was already embarrassed for anyone to know you were hooking up, but for the whole school to know he had gotten you pregnant? He would never allow that.

You were on your own.

Fuck.

You wanted to skip school, but your parents weren’t buying the “I’m sick” excuse. Of course it was the one morning you weren’t throwing up everything you’d eaten the night before. You got yourself together as much as you could, dressing yourself in a band tee and your favorite ripped jeans.

Eddie stayed by your side as much as he could at school. He met you in front of the school and walked you inside to your first class. You were grateful for his support.

It was halfway through first period when the nausea hit you again. Your hand shot up, asking “Can I go to the restroom?” and then sprinting out of the room before you even got a response. You barely made it to the bathroom in time, locking yourself in a stall and falling to your knees as you threw up.

When you were done, your eyes were watering. You grabbed some toilet paper and wiped your face, flushing the toilet and standing up shakily. You straightened your clothes and unlocked the stall door, walking out into the bathroom.

Only to see Carol Perkins, of all people.

She gave you a smug smile, tucking some of her curls behind her ear. “Hope you feel better, Freak.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed past her back into the hall, but you couldn’t help the pit in your stomach, the voice in your head telling you this is very, very bad.

You were surprised that nothing seemed to come of it as you moved on to your next classes. By the time you went to lunch, you were wondering if maybe she just kept it to herself for once.

That bubble was popped by Gareth Emerson.

The second you and Eddie placed your trays down at your usual spots, all the boys looked up at you. Gareth, Jeff, and Grant all looked at you with pity, which made your stomach twist into knots.

“…What?” You asked hesitantly, your blood running cold.

Gareth looked at Eddie, then back to you. “Uh…Carol Perkins is telling everyone you’re pregnant.”

If you weren’t already nauseous, you certainly were now. It was suddenly hard to breathe, your hands gripped onto your tray tightly as you tried to focus and calm yourself, but it wasn’t working. Your breaths were coming in shorter, like you couldn’t get enough air into your lungs.

The feeling of Eddie’s hand grabbing your arm brought you out of it. His rings were cold against your skin, grounding you to reality. Your reality wasn’t that great, though.

“Jesus, are you okay?” Jeff asked.

“It’s not…true, is it?” Gareth asked, his eyebrows raised.

You burst into tears. You couldn’t help it. You covered your face with your hands, crying your eyes out. This seriously could not be happening like this. You knew it would come out eventually - I mean, you could only hide it for so long - but you weren’t ready for it now. You’d only had one night to wrap your head around it yourself.

“Oh god,” Gareth said. “It is true.”

Eddie pulled you into his chest, rubbing your back and giving Gareth a dirty look over the top of your head. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. Calm down.”

“It’s not okay,” you sobbed into his shirt. “Everyone knows. That means Billy’s heard. The whole school has heard. My life here was shitty enough, this is a whole other level.”

“Wait, Billy?” Gareth said, exchanging a look with Jeff and Grant. “Billy Hargrove?”

Eddie gave him another look. He stroked your hair, the soothing gesture helping to calm your racing heart. “It’s going to be okay. I promise. You’re going to be okay.”

Billy flicked the ash off his cigarette before bringing it back up to his lips. He leaned against his car, talking with Tommy Hagan. He was just about to leave when Carol came walking over, smiling like she knew something they didn’t.

“Hey baby,” Tommy greeted her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Have you guys heard?” Carol asked, like she couldn’t wait to say whatever she knew. Billy wasn’t particularly interested, dragging on his cigarette one more time.

Tommy took the bait, however. “About what?”

When it was your name that came out of Carol’s mouth, it grabbed Billy’s attention fully. He glanced up at Carol nonchalantly, but he was listening intently.

“What about that Freak?” Tommy asked with a laugh.

Carol giggled. “She’s pregnant. I caught her throwing up in the bathroom during first period.”

Billy felt sick to his stomach. He tossed his cigarette to the ground, stubbing it out with his boot. “No way that’s true.”

“Why?” Carol asked, furrowing her eyebrows at Billy.

Because you would have told him, right? And he always used a condom. There was no way. “That Freak? No way she’s getting any action.”

Carol and Tommy laughed like Billy had said the funniest thing they’d ever heard. “I don’t know though,” Carol said, “Tina said she’s been running out of class to go to the bathroom all week. She’s definitely knocked up. It’s probably Munson’s. Two freaks in love.” Carol giggled, and Tommy started laughing again.

Billy forced himself to laugh, but nothing was funny. He wanted to throw up himself. “Hey, I left something in my locker. I’ll see you guys later.” He pushed off his car and walked back into the school.

He had to find you. He had to find out what the hell was going on.

You closed your locker as you got the last book you needed for your homework. You had waited until most of your classmates had left, the hallway deserted. The looks from your classmates all day had been enough. You shoved your stuff into your backpack, preparing to leave to meet Eddie at his van.

As you were walking down the hall, the doors opened and you saw Billy walking towards you. You felt like turning and running the other way. As he reached you, he nodded towards an empty classroom.

You thought about ignoring him, about leaving and letting Eddie take you home and maybe transferring schools and never seeing any of these people again. Instead, you followed him into the classroom.

Inside the empty room, Billy was pacing, running his hand through his dirty blonde curls. Your stomach hurt as you closed and locked the door behind you. When you reached him Billy spun on you, his eyes wild.

“Are you pregnant?”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. This was not how you wanted him to find out. You thought you’d have more time, time to think about what to say and how exactly to break the news. Fucking Carol Perkins.

“Yes,” you said, opening your eyes to look at Billy.

He looked horrified. “You’re- it- it’s…mine?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding slowly. “Yeah. It’s yours.”

Billy let out a rush of air. He started combing his fingers through his mullet again, pacing back and forth in front of you. “I- we- there’s just no fucking way. I used a condom every time.”

“Condoms can fail, Billy-“

“Bullshit,” he said. “I mean, yeah, but it’s so rare. There’s…there’s no fucking way you’re- pregnant with my kid.”

“You’re the only person I’ve slept with,” you reminded him, your voice small. You knew you weren’t the only girl he slept with. “And I went to the doctor. They did blood work. I’m definitely…pregnant.” The word was still hard to say.

Billy shook his head. “You- this is fucking insane. I’m not raising some kid.”

Your stomach dropped. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying…” he breathed out another rush of air. “I’m not doing this. Whatever you want from me, I’m not doing it. I’m not ruining my life to raise a kid.”

The tears welled up in your eyes. “So you’re saying you’re abandoning us.”

Billy scoffed. “‘Abandoning.’ I have more to live for than this. I was gonna…I was gonna get out of here.” He laughed humorlessly. “I was gonna get the fuck out of this shithole town. I was gonna go back to California. I…” He shook his head. “I’m not doing this. I’ll give you money for an abortion, I’ll take you to get it, whatever. But I’m not doing this.”

And with that he left, slamming the classroom door behind him and leaving you alone.

The tears really fell then. It was worse than you imagined. You were really all alone in this. Just you…and your baby.

On your own.

tag list

@rincallistis

[mytheoristavenue]

Do you think you could do somewhere like where the straw hats + doflamingo are really tired after a hard day and reader offers their lap for them to lay on? And they end up falling asleep? Sorry if it's to much to ask, or if you've done something similar 😅 😭

I originally wasn't going to do this, because I don't really write for OP anymore, but sure! Also, Doflamingo will not be included, as I am not up to that point in the anime yet!

OP Strawhats lying on your lap!

Summary: After a long day, you offer to let them rest in your lap!

Warnings: Innuendo on some, mostly fluff, short

Monkey D. Luffy:

"Ugh, I'm so tired!" The captain groaned, wandering below deck after hours of standing very still at the help of the ship. Nami had condemned him to boredom after finding out how much money he blew on food the past week while in port and he had finally finished serving his punishment.

"You look it," You mused with a small smile. You rolled your eyes as he approached you, dramatically swaying. "Oh, c'mere then, before you fall over."

Luffy cheered, collapsing to the floor, head snuggly tucked in your lap, sighing happily. "You're the best..." He purred, already on the verge of drifting off.

Roronoa Zoro:

Zoro had been crabby all day, he was just tired and it was entirely his own fault. That meant it was everyone else's problem. He was currently ranting at Sanji for something silly when you whistled at him and called him over. "I'm not a damn dog! You can't just-" You patted your thigh invitingly. His shoulders slumped and he came over and planted his cheek against your thigh, not caring for who saw.

"You better stop staying up all night working out." You scolded lightly, raking your fingers through his short hair.

"Yeah, yeah..."

Nami:

"They're all just so dumb!" She groaned, pacing the floors. "You have no idea how hard it is being a secretary to these men." You simply nodded and listened, knowing better than to interject during a rant. "Like seriously, you don't wanna know how much Luffy spent on food while we were ported. And I don't mean for all of us, just for himself!"

Eventually, her pacing turned to standing, then sitting beside you, and finally, she found herself lying between your legs, face snuggled into your inner thigh, anger ebbing in exchange for drowsiness.

"Feel better?" You asked softly, petting her tangerine hair gently.

"I guess..."

Usopp:

You entered his workshop, shoulders slumping at the sight. He was slumped over the workbench again, cheek squished to the wooden surface. You rolled your eyes and approached him, nudging him lightly. "Usopp," You whispered so as not to startle him, though ultimately, your caution was for not.

He jumped, scrambling up into a straight sitting position. "(Y-Y/N)! Y-You can't just scare me like that!" You simply snickered and pulled him up and toward the small bed in the corner. "No, I gotta finish this project-"

"I'll let you lay in my lap." You offered with a knowing smile.

"O-Okay!" He smiled sheepishly, following you, collapsing in your lap without hesitation. The moment he stopped shifting, he began to snore again.

Vinsmoke Sanji:

You had watched him bustle around the kitchen all day, refusing any help offered to him. In the back of your mind, you knew, when Sanji crashed, he'd crash hard. As predicted, after the dinner dishes were finished, he made a beeline for you, hugging you tightly. "I'm so tired..." He mumbled into your ear, voice deep and groggy. "What would be the best way to charm you without exhausting any effort?"

"Consider me charmed." You scoffed playfully, pulling him over to the couch in the lounge before patting your thigh. The way he stared at you, you would have thought you'd just asked him to claim you right then and there. His face was red, eyes glued to your thighs. "Behave yourself." You wanted as he dropped to the floor and nuzzled between your plush thighs.

"Yes ma'am!"

Tony Tony Chopper:

It was typical of Chopper to get sleepy earlier than the rest of the crew, frequently curling up with Robin while the adults settled down to enjoy an evening activity together. This night was different only in one way.

"Ha, royal flush!" You laughed, laying your cards on the table and claiming the cash in the middle of it. You nearly yelped when you felt soft fur brush your calf. Looking down, you found the reindeer climbing up on the bench beside you and curling up in your lap.

"Awe..." You cooed on a whisper, shushing the rowdy rest. "Look at him..."

"It seems I've been replaced," Robin mused with a gentle smile. "How tragic."

Nico Robin:

It was known that on especially hard days, she would welcome you into her lap, uttering soothing words or reading silently while threading her long nails through your hair. But tonight was different. You could tell she was upset, despite her cool nature. When you'd finally convinced her to open up, you found that she was having unpleasent dreams involving her past.

"Can't get anything past you, can I?" She laughed sadly, before her brows shot up in surprise as you patted your lap.

"I know I'm probably not as good at this as you are..." You muttered sheepishly. "But..."

To your delight, she laid down, face up in your lap, and allowed you to play with her hair while she read quietly to herself. "You couldn't be more wrong, this is perfect." She sighed blissfully.

Cyborg Franky:

Franky had been in an awfully sour mood lately, totally uncharacteristic of him. After witnessing him get into a small argument with Usopp over a new ship upgrade thew were collaborating on, you knew you had to have a word with him. "Franky, what's your deal lately?" You huffed, hands on your hips.

"No deal," He scoffed, turning away. "What's it to ya?"

"You're acting like Zoro when he misses a nap." Your eyes narrowed sternly. He sighed.

"I ain't been sleepin' well, okay?" He finally admitted sheepishly. You softened, smiling slightly.

"Why didn't you just say so?" You climbed up on a large crate of ale, sitting at the perfect height, patting your lap. "Come take a nap, you'll feel better."

"N-Nah, I'll be good," He shook his head, cheeks a bit pink. After a bit more convincing, he finally sat on the floor, back against the crate, and rested his head in your lap as you brushed the cyan locks from his eyes and removed his shades. "You were right, this is nice..."

Brook:

The ship was eerily quiet today and for the life of you, you couldn't figure out why. Suddenly, it hit you. You hadn't seen or heard Brook all day long. After asking around, you found him in the lounge, staring at the fish. "Brook, you okay?" You asked softly, tilting your head into his view.

"Oh, yes, my dear. Just in thought." He sighed, empty sockets seemingly tracking the tropical fish as they wandered the glass enclosure. "The only I get, the younger my old friends seem." He admitted quietly and your eyes softened.

You weren't entirely sure how long had passed as you sat there with him, watching the fish interact with one another, or when you'd begun to lean into one another. "Brook?" You asked softly, eyes never looking away from the tank. "I can't do much to help but...would you like to lay in my lap?"

"I'd like that very much, my dear." He replied, patiently waiting for you to get into a comfortable position before laying out his lanky form on the sofa between your thighs. "This helps so much more than you know." The pair of you stayed that way for a while until you began to feel skeletal phalanges lightly digging into the meat of your legs. "You know, since you're in such a giving mood..."

"You're done." You deadpanned, pushing him away.

Jinbe:

You had never had much experience with Jinbe, having only known him for a short while, be he seemed to always know when the emotional atmosphere around him had changed. Thanks to this empathy, he noticed immediately when you'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed. "(Y/N)? What's the matter?" He asked, cocking a brow as you stepped below deck.

"Just in a mood..." You grumbled, coldly brushing him off. Ever patient, he simply gave you a warm smile and let you be. As the day wore on, you both found yourself winding down in the lounge. You grumpy day catching up with you, you dozed off, cheek pressed to his shoulder. Smiling fondly, Jinbe repositioned you, delicately resting your head in his lap, large webbed hand very carefully brushing the fringe from your eyes.

[thanosscross]

In my club - Choi Seung Hyun/ T.O.P x reader- Part four

Summary: With tour coming up, Seung Hyun realizes he can't leave without knowing if he'd ever see you again, leading you to a very exciting Monday night

Warnings: Nothin really :)

Whenever you woke up the next morning, you were immediately holding your breath, noticing that you and Seung Hyun were tangled with one another under the blankets, Seung Hyun's arms wrapped around you tightly as if you were his own personal teddy bear. Trying to take a deep breath in, you mistakenly took a sharp inhale, causing the man who was sleeping so peacefully before to jolt awake thinking something was wrong.

Looking around Seung Hyun sighed, letting his head fall back onto the pillow, loosening his hold on your waist, but keeping it draped over your hips tiredly "Everything okay, beautiful?" He asked softly, his voice deep and gravely from just waking up and most likely drinking the night before. "Y-yea" You mumbled nervously, making your way out of his bed, your cheeks burning with a blush as you rushed downstairs, desperate to get away to process what you just woke up to. Seeing your panicked state, Ji-Yong was quick to wrap his arm around your waist pulling you back towards him "You woke up with him, didn't you?" He smirked, teasing you slightly "You know..He likes you, y/n, Seung Hyun has been different since he saw you in the club the first time" He explained, the smirk never leaving his face as you blushed, glancing towards the bedroom door where you heard Seung Hyun's footsteps walking around. "We're just having fun, it's not like that" You giggled, finding it sweet Ji-yong was so concerned with helping his friend find somebody. Before you could leave for downstairs, you were stopped by the same person you were trying to avoid "Hey, can we, go somewhere and talk?" Seung Hyun asked sheepishly, not liking the way you now made him nervous, but he persisted, knowing their international tour was about to start and he didn't want to risk leaving without knowing if he'd see you again.

Sitting at the small private coffee shop, you glanced around at everything smiling "It's so pretty here.." You stated as you took in all of the flowers and how the sunlight bounced perfectly off of the decor outside making a rainbow hue reflection on to the tables. "How do you think they thought of this place?..Like do you think it was just a they got everything as they went or do you think they planned this all out..because it's breathtaking" You whispered in awe, tilting your head slighting gasping whenever you your perspective shifted the image you saw through the crystal decor on the table, seeing a beautiful detailed engraving of the stars and moon. Seung Hyun couldn't help but watch in awe as you swooned over his favorite 'chill spot', coming here often before and after tours to just read and think of new raps, here you were treating everything like it had been your first time seeing true beauty. "you know..this is the most you've spoken to me sober..I was starting to think you didn't like me unless you were drunk" He teased, hiding his feelings to what he thought was perfectly, and anybody who wasn't you would've noticed immediately Seung Hyun was starting to lead on to something more with you, but you were oblivious, to flustered and enthralled with everything around you to notice, your life had changed significantly in the last few days, going from spending your free time either partying with your friends or sitting in your apartment that you shared with said friends, watching tv shows and different youtube videos you found, to partying with a famous K-pop group and sleeping with one of the biggest rappers in k-pop currently.

As you both spoke, you had agreed you didn't want the fun you were having to end so soon, so you agreed to follow them on tour, I mean, free V.I.P tickets to concerts, plus getting to see Seung Hyun more, and a vacation? Where were the cons?

A con? Flying. You hated it, couldn't stand it, between your fear of heights and the getting motion sickness very easily, flying was like your mortal enemy. Walking onto the plane you kept your headphones placed on your head, trying to keep yourself distracted from the fact you were allowing yourself to become trapped in an enclosed space that was soon to be thousands of the feet in the air, with absolutely no escape. Sitting down in your seat you glanced around, it was first class, allowing a lot more room for you, but it didn't change where you were. As the plane took off you tried your best to stay calm, digging your nails in the armrests as you squeezed your eyes shut tightly. Ji-Yong was the first to notice you, followed by Tae-Yang, Dae-sung and Seung Hyun having a conversation a row ahead "Seung hyun" He whispered leaning forward trying to get his friends attention, knowing if he got you through this, you'd most likely warm up to him when sober. Eventually as the plane had a bit of rough turbulence Seung Hyun turned his attention back towards the others, Ji-Yong shooting him an annoyed look before nodding to you. You resembled somebody going on a scary rollercoaster waiting for the drop, you were curled up in your seat holding onto the armrests with your head turned towards the side, your face scrunched in fear as you squeezed your eyes shut tightly, trying to calm your breathing and not freak out as the plane got higher and higher. You yelped feeling two hands rest on yours "Beautiful.." Seung Hyun whispered, you turned your hands to hold his, not wanting him to think you were ignoring him, but you were too terrified to move or speak, Seung Hyun squeezed your hands gently, smiling softly "There you are, I thought we lost you there for a moment, why didn't you tell anybody you were scared of flying?" He asked, waiting for the seatbelt to actually shut off before undoing your seatbelt, switching you spots before having you sit back down on his lap as he hugged you, he wasn't sure what you were feeling, but he knew most times he felt anxious, all he really wanted was a patient hug. Your hands gripped onto his jacket tightly, almost like you'd fall out if you didn't, Seung Hyun just held onto your body gently, talking you through the flight, even getting to a point where you felt comfortable enough to open the window shade to see the sky "See?...Sometimes.. you have to go through scary things to get to the beautiful things" He whispered quietly pointing towards the clouds.

You were somewhat calm the rest of the flight, once you were landed you were all rushed off to the arena, watching the boys rehearse for the first time was an experience for you, they had purposely had you move from V.I.P to the barricades for different songs, claiming that they had to get an idea of where they needed to be to interact with fans. Seung Hyun couldn't help but notice the way you watched them, your face mimicking the same face you had whenever you were at the coffee shop with him, watching in pure awe and amazement as they moved and sang. As they finished their rehearsal you noticed Seung Hyun's eyes on you the entire time he made his way back down to you "Y/nnnn! Y/n! You like? You like, Y/n?" He smirked strutting down the stairs before stopping in front of you, smiling at your flustered expression, looking everywhere except for him, you giggled loudly before nodding "Yes, yes I like, You guys were awesome!" You giggled, grabbing his arms gently as you bounced on your heels with excitement, not being able to wait for the actual show.

Whenever it got closer to the time of the show Ji-Yong and Seung Hyun had a security guard walk you to your seat in V.I.P, standing not far from your seat as he followed the instructions given. As Seung Hyun and the others walked out he quickly met your eyes, sending you a smirk and wink before making his way past the V.I.P section. It was the first and coolest V.I.P you had ever had, the section being on an actual part of the stage they boys were on, as you listened to the boys you couldn't help blush whenever you heard Seung Hyun's deep voice go through the speakers as he rapped for Fantastic Baby, purposely turning his head to look at you anytime he'd say 'wow, fantastic baby'. Seung Hyun wasn't the only person focusing on you throughout the show, anytime the boys had free time between verses or whenever they didn't have a verse in a song they'd be in V.I.P taking turns dancing with you and others, As Seung Hyun sang along to Turn it up loud he spotted Ji-Yong dancing with you, spinning you around as you giggled softly hiding your face quickly as you noticed Ji-yong's dancing had landed you both on the giant screen behind you.

Seung Hyun watched raising his eyebrows as Dae-Sung shook his head, taking your hand from Ji-Yong, spinning you around to face, placing both hands on his chest before holding your hips swaying to the beat of the music, you had to hide your blush as you made eye contact with Seung Hyun's curious gaze. As the song ended and Knock out started to play, Seung Hyun made his way over to you, making sure to shuffle his feet to the beat, stumbling purposely as he started his verse, waving his hand at the side of his face before Ji-Yong took over. He was quick to take your hand in his, pulling you closer to him before mouthing the words 'let me teach you' to Dae-Sung, he wrapped your arm around his neck and shoulders as he pressed his hips into yours swaying to the beat, smirking at he brought the microphone to his lips, feeling confident as he stayed on beat while hitting every note to his second verse. By the time the song was over you were sitting back down trying to hide your face from the obvious blush, watching as they preformed more of their songs, some of them you recognized from the club. You were having a lot of fun, starting to realize maybe you should let yourself get drunk a little more often if it meant meeting people like Seung Hyun, and the boys.

As the show got closer to the end you noticed the beat to the song from the other night start to play, watching Seung Hyun smirk with Ji-Yong they stood on their marks, getting ready for the cue of Bae Bae to start so Ji-Yong could start. You smiled to yourself, swaying your body to Ji-Yong's first and second verse, watching him move slowly down the stage reaching for other fans' hands before Seung Hyun started rapping, hopping and spinning to your chair again, whenever Ji-yong started singing again, Seung took his chance to grab your hand gently, swaying the both of you until the chorus started again. You knew there were three songs left afterwards, Tonight, If you, and Last Dance, thanks to Dae-sung you were learning their song names as they preformed them.

Listening to If you and Last Dance you kept your eyes on Seung Hyun, feeling a wave of relaxation wash over you whenever you heard his soft voice actually sing instead of rap, your stares didn't go unnoticed though, almost every boy in the group noticed your longing glances that you gave their friend anytime he was singing.

Hearing Tonight play for the first time you were quick to start moving with the music, giggling as you saw Seung Hyun nodding along with your movements as he started to make his way over, stopping a few way he smirked motioning you to come over to him. You stood up nervously, looking into his eyes it felt like your nerves were vanishing, forgetting the circumstances and how many people were actually watching you slowly made your way over to him, thankful for V.I.P serving alcohol during the show, you weren't drunk yet, just tipsy enough to start ignoring your anxieties. As you spun your hips you squealed feeling Seung Hyun take your hand in his pulling you to his chest as he looked at you smirking "Just like at home right?" He asked, moving hips with yours as you rolled them forward with Ji-yong's verse. You just nodded smiling as you spun around, giggling as he raised both of his and your hand up to help you spin, as the ending chorus came, you jumped around in his hold, his hands steadying your hips before he held you down on your feet before pulling you close raising the microphone "Tonight?..Such a beautiful night" He whispered before sighing into the microphone, spinning his hand in yours to motion you could sit back down, as you turned away he smirked "Goodnight" He whispered before blowing a kiss into the microphone and walking towards their original mark to exit and enter the show.

As they were lowered back down you walked in pure shock, their bodyguard ghosting his hand over your shoulder as he led you off of the stage and back towards the backstage door that was kept locked for obvious reasons, as the boys saw you walk through the door they rushed over "So!? What'd you think? First BigBang show!" Ji-Yong cheered, laughing at your shocked expression "Wow...just wow" You replied looking at them all "It was amazing! You guys were amazing! Oh my god!" You smiled cheering, Seung Hyun blushed, taking your compliments personally as if he was the only the one in the room "You were amazing! Whenever you and Seung Hyun started dancing together for tonight!? You two really made it feel like a night club!" Dae-sung shouted excitedly, holding your hands tightly, you smiled hugging your friend tightly "Thank you! I was nervous at first, I don't know how you guys are so confident with preforming! That was terrifying having so many people watching!" You giggled, pulling away from the hug to look at Seung Hyun, a blush painted brightly on his cheeks "Why didn't you tell me you could do more than rap?" You asked playfully, immediately losing all confidence and becoming flustered again whenever he smiled sheepishly placing his hand on your lower back "Seung Hyun is shy when he sings!" Tae-Yang explained, smiling whenever his friend glared at him for putting him on the spot "Don't be..it's really pretty" You smiled, feeling confident enough to take his hand in yours "What else do you have to do?" you added on, holding his hand close to your chest, pressed against your heart as you glanced around for any signs of somebody waiting for them "We have to get our things together, and go back to the hotel" Seung Hyun explained, pressing his lips to your forehead gently causing you to become a flustered mess again, he couldn't help it, he liked watching you rush away blushing and stuttering, stealing glances at him before you both found each other again.

As you got back to your floor on the hotel room you froze watching all four boys continue to walk past you "Excuse you, if you want me here, one of you better be bunking with me" You stated, blushing whenever Seung Hyun took it upon himself to turn his friends back around towards their room as he made his way back to you "Sorry, beautiful" He whispered, you went quiet as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders leading you into your now shared hotel room.

--

You like? ;)

--

Taglist!!

@ag022123

@acehasmyheart

@heartz4rubyy

[yeonjunsvape]

vampire date: hoshi pt. 1

genre: angst (smut in pt. 2)

w/c: 2k

pairings: vampire!hoshi, female!reader

warnings: drinking, softporn

summary: vampire!hoshi meets someone for the first time who is disobedient to his orders and he wants to know her secret.

"i know i'm an hour late, my day hasn't gone great, i'll be there in 30." you hang up on your (with all the best intentions) overbearing, best friend.

not only did you wake up with a huge pimple on your face, but at work 2 people dine and dashed and you had to pay their bill. when your best friend suggested going to a new club in the city, all you wanted to do was deny and go to sleep, but then she started talking about getting plastered, which sounds amazing right now.

after finishing the final touches on your makeup, you grab your purse, and call an uber to the new club. (dont drink and drive 🔫).

"you're going to Le Chamber? i've been there once... bad energy." the uber driver spoke as he drove the car and you notice a crucifix around his neck. "bad energy?" you usually don't interact with strangers but since it's your first time going to the club, it peaked your interest.

"yeah, as soon as i stepped inside i felt something off, like an evil vibe." you end the conversation with a 'hum' and stare out the window to the mysterious club.

when you finally arrive, you pay the uber then head inside to meet your best friend, who is on the dance floor and already drunk.

she yells your name over the music and you run over, giving her a big hug. "here drink," she demands and hands you two shots of god knows what.

without hesitation you throw your head back, taking both of them down with a scrunched up face and start dancing with your best friend.

there was a cluster of rooms on the second floor of the club that people rented out for parties and as soon as you turn to get more shots, you see 4 strikingly handsome men walk down the spiral staircase.

you call out your order to the bartender but your eyes never leave the men as they walk with a synchronized stride, almost like they're floating. when they get closer, you can see their gothic attire and tattoos all over their bodies.

"8 shots of straight vodka." one of them with bleached blonde hair, says to the bartender who was currently making your drinks.

the bartender looks him in the eyes and without a word, drops your drink, making the mysterious man his instead. you scoff loudly, "hey, what about my drink?" you yell over the music and the bartender ignores you, eyes still fixed on making the 8 shots.

"thanks to this asshole, i guess chivalry really is dead." you mutter to yourself and the mystery man chuckles. "chivalry isn't dead, i can just be quite convincing when i want to be."

your eyebrow raised when him and his friends laugh at his stupid comeback but you were not only confused on how he heard you, but also on how you heard him so clearly over the music.

after a few hours and 10 shots in, you were on the dance floor with your best friend, dancing with random men you will never see again, yet you were having a blast.

the mans hands on your waist suddenly left and before you turn around to see what happened, you felt them back on your hips, moving your body to the music.

your eyes go to your best friend and see her now dancing with one of the guys from earlier and your head turns behind your shoulder to see the bleach blonde hair man.

"what are you doing here? where's the other guy?" you ask and pull away from his grasp. "well, you claim that i'm not chivalrous, but here i am, having a dance with you." you roll your eyes and cross your arms, "i'm done dancing, let's go [Y/B/F]."

the mysterious man grabs your arm in his big hand, staring straight into your eyes. "you will dance with me, then go upstairs later with my friends and i."

his eyes were a deep wine color which you thought was tacky and when he spoke you had a bored look on your face. "oh will i? because i don't think so."

he was stunned by your words and when you go to grab your friend she was clinging onto the other man. "[Y/N], i'm dancing with him, then going upstairs later."

your fight or flight kicked in and you grab her wrist so you could drag her away but the man held her tightly. "you will let her go with me, and you'll accompany hoshi later." again with the demanding with these guys, who do they think they are? at least you have a name to the bleach blonde hair man.

"i'm not accompanying anyone, and neither is she, we're leaving." your friend fights you off and gets closer to the man. "go home if you're going to be a downer [Y/N]."

you were offended your best friend trusted a stranger more than you, not knowing she was under a spell. "fine, i will, wear a condom perverts." (srsly guys, wear condoms: safe sex)

you storm out of the club, the music beat can only be heard from the outside and your steps were wobbly considering you were still drunk. "uber." you yell out to the air as if anyone could hear you.

hoshi follows close behind you and presses his lips together so he didn't laugh. "that's not how uber works, you actually have to use your phone." he reminds you and you nod, taking out the device in your pocket but everything was blurry.

"need a ride?" he finally asks after watching you struggle with your phone. "ew no, i know enough about you to know not to get in a vehicle with you." you were already a blunt person but it amplifies when you're drunk.

hoshi ignores your rudeness and steps infront of you, "can i see your eyes?" he asks and you look up at his wine eyes again. "let me take you home." he says in a serious manner and you start drunkingly giggling. "let me take you home." you mock then start walking down the street.

"why aren't you doing what i say?" hoshi was confused, no one in his many years on earth has ever disobeyed his commands. "because i'm a person with my own free will, sorry i don't fall for a handsome face like everyone else does."

he ponders scenarios in his head on how it could be possible for you to be immune to his orders, not realizing he's walking behind you. "can you stop following me?" you turn around, stopping him in his tracks.

"where do you live? you can't walk home this drunk." hoshi presses a button on his keys and a car alarm starts ringing. "my car is right there, let me take you."

you hum as you think and agree only because you lived 20 minutes away by car so if you walked it would take you about 7 hours to make it home.

his car looked like the batmobile from batman and when you got inside it, he drove off fast. it was such a thrill, especially with the windows down, "i feel like im flying." you yell and put your arms up. hoshi just laughed when he watched and his speed was so fast he made it to your home in 10 minutes.

you open the car door and hoshi grabs your wrist before you could get out. "i'm going to see you again, i hope." he gives you a smirk and you think about it. "perhaps... put your number in."

he does as you say, then let's go of your wrist. "see you around [Y/N], oh and i'll make sure your friend gets home safe."

"[Y/N], you're the most beautiful woman in this world." hoshi whispers in your ear, kissing your neck tenderly while he massages your breasts in his hands. "you're the most handsome man. i usually don't fall for men with faces like yours but there's something about you." you whisper back, unbuckling his belt buckle, and twirling your finger around his hard member under his boxers.

"fuck [Y/N]..." his moan sent electricity to your core, making your hips jolt up on him. "want me to fuck you?" he asks with a laugh and you nod, "yes please..."

your eyes shoot open when you hear a knock on your apartment door and realize hoshi in your bed was just a dream. "what a weird dream...." you whisper and fling yourself off the bed, opening your door to see your best friend standing there.

"you got home okay?" you ask and welcome her inside. "yes, minghao is so romantic, we spent the night together at my place last night." you cringe at the thought and put your hand up, "no details please. how are you up at 7 am with no hangover?" you raise an eyebrow, your head beating from drinking so much last night.

"minghao woke me up at 6 am and we got breakfast, i feel energized actually." you nod and plop on the couch, "i feel the opposite." she joins you and hands you a bag of donuts. "i brought you some."

you take it, grateful she thought of you, "i think i'm going to sleep more, i'll eat them later." your friend sits up and looks in your eyes, "come with me to minghao's house." she squints her eyes the same way hoshi did last night and you furrow your eyebrows. "i'm too tired, maybe later."

she sighed and pursed her lips, "he said that would work..."

"what would work?"

"oh-nothing, i can't say."

of course this enticed you more, knowing she was keeping a secret from you. "what would work?" you ask again and sit up, noticing her eyes darting away from you. "did you get contacts? they're the same shade as minghao and hoshi." you mumble and your friend bites her lip.

"can you keep a secret?" you scoff and take one of her hands, "of course you're my best friend.."

"they didn't say much... but minghao told me i was going to change from now on. also, he taught me a trick to get people to do whatever i want by looking into their eyes, but since it didn't work on you, i guess i cant do it."

you listen to her intently and stand, going to your bedroom to grab your phone.

[Y/N]: "come over... NOW!!"

you walk back in the livingroom and grab your friends hands, "we'll figure out what they did to you." you assure, giving her a hug.

5 minutes after you sent the text, hoshi knocks at the door and you answer with a hand on your hip. "you got here fast." he rubs the back of his neck and nervously laughs, "i was in the neighborhood."

you close the door after he walks in and lead him

to the couch, pushing him on it. "did minghao drug her last night?" hoshi looks at your friend and notices her eyes, putting his face in hands. "he's an idiot."

"either you tell me or i call the police." you threaten and hoshi stands up quickly, grabbing your phone. "the police won't help with this... we kind of control them."

"okay, then i'll call N.C.I.S." hoshi looks at you dumbfounded, "like the american tv show?" you clear your throat and nod, "i didn't think you knew that... i was trying to scare you."

"i'll talk to him about it, keep her inside, seriously, she can hurt someone." he mumbles and you scoff, "hurt someone???"

"fine... since she's changed, i might as well just tell you. she's a vampire." hoshi bluntly spills the truth and your jaw was on the floor. "i'm also a vampire."

[cognitiveoverload]

Promises (future Aaron Hotchner x reader)

summary: A new prosecutor takes over the case where you're a witness, and he assures you things will be just fine.

tags: the case is a murder case with a hint of something else involving the reader, fem!reader, prosecutor!Hotch

note: This is a pilot, prologue, call it whatever you want. If there will be future chapters, it will take place in 1996 or 1997, when she's a homicide detective.

(1991)

Two years of preparation is now going down the drain, because the original prosecutor had a heart attack, so the case is being taken over by some guy called Aaron Hotchner. Great. Excellent. He’s young, mid-twenties, probably doesn’t even have enough experience to handle such a case, but it’s not like you have a choice if you want to get this over with finally. Hopefully, he won’t die or be taken off the case too. 

Your parents were murdered when you were barely sixteen, and in the two years leading up to this day, you did your best to move on, building a life of your own without them. By now you were sure the trial would be the last time you have to recall the details of what happened, what those who killed your parents did to you, but now it seems like you have to talk about it a lot more to help the new prosecutor. 

“I know it’s hard. I read everything Morris had on your case, but we need to talk regularly so I can hear what happened from you, and I need to get you ready for the trial,” he says. 

Those warm brown eyes are watching you intently, as if he was analyzing your body language to make sure he always chose the right words when talking to you. He’s really trying to help you, so you can’t be mad at him for doing his job. With a sigh, you lean back and let your arm that’s been folded over your chest fall into your lap. 

“He already prepared me, I’m gonna be fine,” you tell him, hoping he would get the hint that you don’t want that. 

“I’m aware of that, but I need to get to know you better. I need to know what I can expect from you, so please, just trust me on this one. I know what happened to you, I know it must be hard to talk about those things again, but it’s necessary,” he explains kindly as he picks up a pen and focuses on that for a moment.

You take a deep breath as you lean back in the chair. “I won’t have to see Blake until the trial, right?” Seeing that son of a bitch is the last thing you want. Hotchner notices that you’re against it, so he shakes his head, assuring you that you’ll be kept away from him. “Alright, let’s do this. But I’m going to law school, we may have trouble scheduling meetings,” you point out. 

He nods. “It’s okay. We can meet in the evening if we have no other choice.”

“You know, I was already making bets with my friends about when you’ll die or hand over this case to someone else. Call me a pessimist.” 

There’s a faint smile on his lips when he hears this. “I won’t let that happen. Trust me, we’ll put an end to this. That's a promise I’m gonna keep,” he tells you. 

And you believe him. For the first time in two years you feel like everything would be alright in the end. 

[stevenose]

while we’re on the subject…

I feel like Steve wouldn’t be that into smoking, and even if he wanted to he’d end up babysitting everyone who was high bc yknow forever a mother.

but but but imagine he has a crush on reader who is very big stoner vibes, but he’s been too nervous to make a move. they’re at a get together with the older kids and maybe some randoms. they go outside with Eddie a few others to smoke, and for the first time ever Steve ends up opening the sliding door and asking to join.

He sits next to reader and takes a hit and suddenly he’s back to his king Steve bullshit. He’s brazen with his stares, his compliments and little touches. Everyone is too high to notice, except reader who has no idea how to respond. Something about not only seeing Steve going back to his cocky, brazen self, but to do it all while holding a joint between his fingers, does it for me personally.

i love this so so much….!!!!! anon this is such a good idea.

like it’s a little bit pathetic when he comes out and coughs his head off and refuses water when everyone knows he needs it. and he still sort of chastises everyone because you’re smoking too much, you’re gonna get sick!

but he kind of forgot how awesome being high is. he hasn’t smoked since senior year of high school and he’s almost wondering why he stopped.

and, actually, his old high school self comes out when he smokes. ten minutes after his last hit he’s walking like he owns the world, cracking witty jokes, winking at you like you’re sharing a secret. you’re taken aback, not used to a laid back, suave steve.

he sits side by side with you, his thigh pressing against yours. he’s hot. always runs hot. he’s making you hot, the joint back in his hands as it rotates around the coffee table. he’s telling a story, animated, chuckling. ashes the joint and holds it out to you.

“take a big hit for me, huh?”

steve holds the damn thing while you inhale, staring at him with wide eyes. he disappears in a cloud of smoke when you exhale, and it’s like it’s only you and him. there’s a sidebar conversation happening over something steve said and no one notices when he winks at you.

and he passes it past you to the next person, casual again while you sit reeling. your heart beats quick and you wonder if he can feel it or hear it. if he knows how worked up he just got you.

“you okay?” he asks, leaning over to speak softly into your ear.

“yeah.” it’s unconvincing.

he puts a hand on your thigh as if to comfort you. “too big?”

your eyes widen. “huh?”

“the hit,” he grins. “too big for you?”

you stare because you don’t know how to answer. really dumbstruck over him. you didn’t even know he could be this way.

“you’re really pretty, you know.” steve squeezes your thigh, makes sure to drag his fingers inward and up swiftly before pulling away. “look so pretty with your lips wrapped around that.”

he nods towards the joint that’s been stalling in eddie’s hands for about three minutes now, while everyone listens to him tell the story about how he spent three days in jail.

you still don’t know what to say, suddenly feeling too high - dizzy, a little in love. “thank you.”

he tilts his head, furrows his brows, a gleam in his eyes giving away his lack of sincerity. “makes me wonder what else your lips look good wrapped around.”

“harrington! what’s the name of that jackass football player that bought the blow from me?”

steve turns to answer him, like he didn’t just make your thighs clench. you take a deep breath and run your hand through your hair, looking around the room to see if anyone else noticed. they didn’t, of course.

but he’s back, casual again while he puts his arm around you. makes it look like he’s just getting comfortable. you can smell him - the cologne, the hairspray, the weed, his sandalwood deodorant. it’s all encompassing, comforting, makes you salivate for more.

you turn to look at him, catching his little smirk.

steve looks back at you, so fondly, his soft eyes red.

“what?” he asks.

“steve.”

his fingers find the strap of your bra under your shirt. he rubs over it. “somethin’ wrong? y’got somethin’ to tell me?”

you feel hypnotized by his eyes. “‘n-no.”

he talks softly to you. “you need somethin’, then? you feeling okay? need me to take care of you?”

you freeze, thinking for a long moment before nodding. because he looks to damn good with his hooded eyes and a shirt that might rip if he exerts his muscles to much. it’s precisely what you’d like to see, in fact. need to see those strong biceps, need to see them straining while he holds himself up over you. need him to take care of you like he always does when he’s sober.

“think you should go lay down.” his nose almost touches yours. “be right up to make you feel better, ‘kay?”

and you’re running up to the guest bedroom within seconds.

[pompadorbz]

Just a Little Longer

Not posting this to ao3 or anything since this fic is so itty bitty pocket sized and I don't have the energy rn. might do all that later but for now its NBD. This is just a short and kinda messy thing about TR!Phil post losing his wings after having them for 5 minutes. lol. Enjoy or dont

“...There has to be some reason.” Phil wonders aloud as he props a large log onto a stone wet from the fresh rain, readying Woodsbane on its surface in preparation to swing. With the amount of trees he chopped, it became inevitable that he’d eventually have to organize the mess. Treecapitator was nice, but it could only do so much in the way of organization.

Sneeg hums as he sits off to the side, handing off the occasional item for Crinkle to munch on– from his own inventory this time, Phil hoped. “Them having someone go rogue is pretty possible, I mean– I’ve seen it before, y’know?” Phil then adds. “There’s always some bigger force, and– and then there’s someone who wants to go against that force by getting help from outside, but…” Phil cuts himself off as he raises the axe high above his head and throws it down onto the log, splitting it cleanly in two. He immediately reaches for another log, swiping the other pieces away as if they weighed nothing and putting the new log in their place. If there was one thing he’d become from woodcutting, it was fast. Being maxed out and all– fast was the one thing he had left to be.

“...What if it wasn’t?? What if… They really only wanted you and Foolish to have them? And– And if not for an Elytra, then for what? Why wouldn’t they take it away the second you made it?” Sneeg simply shrugs. “I dunno. It doesn’t make a lotta sense to me either.” Phil sighs, zoning in on the log as he chops it cleanly once more, and then he chops another. And another. And another again. 

…What had the keepers of the realm meant when they said it “wasn’t time”?

He wondered if it was something to do with the factions like Sneeg had suggested earlier; Both him and Foolish were a part of the Kingdom, after all… Maybe that was it...? 

Or perhaps, it was due to Phil not being in a faction altogether..?

Placing another log on the stone, his eyes glance over to Sneeg. “...The fuck do you have that I don’t, mate?” He asks. He means it as a joke– he thinks that he means it as a joke. But Sneeg stands with a huff. “Look, Phil. I don’t know why this shit happened. We’re all kinda in the same boat right now.” He says defensively. “You’re gonna get your elytra eventually– this shit wasn’t fair. It’s just…”

He stares off into the distance. Something else was clearly on his mind, but Phil either didn’t particularly care right now. “...You’re just gonna have to wait a little longer, I guess.”

Phil’s grip on Woodsbane’s handle tightens despite the rain. He stares down to the last log he struck before silently flipping one of the halves on its flat end, kicking the other to the wayside. Sneeg sighs. “...I’ll leave you be for now. I gotta explain what happened to Foolish anyways, so… I dunno. Maybe he’ll have an idea of what happened.” Likely not; Phil wanted to say, but he kept silent.

Sneeg silently walks off– the only noise coming from his boots as they squelch in the wet mycelium, and his trident when he takes off into the now stormy sky. He didn’t have to look at Sneeg to know the look he was probably giving him as he left. Across what felt like a thousand different timelines, he’d seen it before about a million times over.

The apologies for his sake, the endless droves of sympathy. The sad look in people’s eyes when they said: “Oh well! There’s nothing to be done about that!”

Pity.

Every time without fail, it bore into Phil’s soul. It dug around deep in his chest until he was all but crying out in anguish, begging for it to cease, and he hated it. He hated it so, so very much.

Phil raised Woodsbane high above his head, straining as if the blade itself had hitched the loop of a halo that wasn’t there. “An angel lost his wings today.”

But they’d been lost for a long time now, hadn’t they?

“It is not yet time.”

And when would it be time?

“You’re just gonna have to wait a little longer.”

Phil’s breath hitches as he stares down at the halved log; not quite registering how his arms shook from both strain and rage as he held the axe in a crushing grip. He gritted his teeth together until his head began to pound–

–and to nobody in particular, he screamed as he swung the axe down onto the log with remarkable speed. “HOW MUCH LONGER?!” He asks, raising the axe again and barrelling down on the log once more. “HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO WAIT?!”

And then repeatedly, Woodsbane fell upon the same log, each cut sloppier than the last as Phil hollered obscenities at the top of his lungs until his throat went hoarse. His blinding rage fizzled out into pathetic cries as he swung tiredly at nothing in particular; the log now too scattered and in pieces by then to even be truly called a log.

The cries turn hushed as he coughs and unceremoniously drops Woodsbane to the ground as he too, falls to his knees.

“...How much longer?” He rhetorically asks again, now tired and muffled as he stares to the ground, uncaring of the rain as it soaks into his clothing and frazzled hair. He thinks about what Pili had said earlier once more. Perhaps he was truly serious when he said it, but…

…An angel without wings.

It was a joke so ironic that Phil could almost laugh.  

[msriri030]

Husband! Bob x Spouse Reader

cw: light angst

You glared at your ex-husband, Bob Velseb, standing at your doorway with a bag of fresh meat that all but screamed his latest gruesome exploits. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots—people had been going missing again.

Bob’s lips curled into a disarming smile, his southern drawl honeyed and deliberate. “I’m home, darlin’. Why don’t I whip up something’ nice' for you and the girls? Just like old times.”

Your hands clenched into fists as a wave of anger surged through you. Did he really think you’d let him stroll back into your life after disappearing when your now three-year-old daughter was only two months old? Fat chance.

He had always been a storm of chaos, leaving destruction in his wake, but this time it wasn’t just about you. Your two daughters, peacefully asleep upstairs, were your everything. You weren’t going to let Bob ruin the stability and safety you’d fought so hard to build.

“No,” you growled, stepping into the doorway to block his path. “You can fuck off and leave the girls out of this.”

Bob’s smile faltered slightly as you jabbed a finger toward the bag in his hand. “And take that mess with you. The girls believe their father is six feet under, and I intend to keep it that way.”

His eyes darkened for a moment, the smile on his face twisting into something colder, more dangerous. But you held your ground, your protective instincts blazing brighter than any fear he could try to stir in you. 

“Six feet under, huh?” he drawled, his southern accent dripping with a charm that felt as fake as the smile plastered on his face. “Well, darlin’, ain’t that somethin’? Here I am, back from the grave, just to see my family. Reckon that makes me a ghost, doesn't it?”

You stepped closer, blocking the doorway entirely, your body a shield between him and the peaceful home behind you. Your heart raced, but you didn’t dare let it show. Bob thrived on fear, and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction.

“Whatever sick game you’re playing, it ends here,” you spat, your voice low but resolute. “You don’t get to just show up after all these years and act like nothing happened. The girls don’t need you, Bob. We don’t need you.”

Bob chuckled darkly, the deep rumble of his laugh sending a shiver down your spine. “Oh, darlin’, you wound me,” he drawled, his tone laced with mock sincerity. “I’ve been thinkin’ about y’all this whole time, wonderin’ how my little girls are growin’ up. Don’t you think they deserve to know their daddy?”

“Wound you? You—" Your voice faltered as your hands balled into fists at your sides. You exhaled sharply, forcing yourself to steady your trembling voice. “Their daddy is the man who’s been there for them—the one who raised them. Not the one who ran off and left us to pick up the pieces without warning! So no, Bob. They don’t need to know you. Not now. Not ever… I’m sorry.”

Bob’s smirk faded slightly, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face. But before he could respond, you continued, your voice breaking with raw emotion.

“Did you even think about how your disappearing act would affect them?” Your eyes filled with tears, and you blinked quickly, refusing to let them fall. “They asked for you day and night, Bob. Day and night. And I—"

You choked on the words, your pain spilling out in each syllable as you met his gaze. Bob’s frown deepened, his confident demeanor faltering as guilt flickered in his eyes.

For a moment, just a moment, the mask slipped, and he looked almost human like when you first met. Then, as if compelled by something primal, Bob suddenly moved toward you, his steps quick and purposeful. The air between you grew tense, and your breath hitched as his intentions became unclear.

You closed your eyes, bracing for the worst, your heart pounding as fear gripped you. But instead of pain, you felt the unexpected warmth of his arms wrapping around you. It wasn’t rough or forceful—it was tender, almost comforting.

Your breath caught as you opened your eyes, looking up at him through a blur of tears. His expression was unreadable, a strange mixture of guilt and longing etched across his face.

“Bob…” you whispered, your voice trembling.

He leaned down slowly, pressing a soft, almost reverent kiss to your forehead. The gesture left you stunned, tears spilling freely down your cheeks. It wasn’t what you expected, not from the man who had brought so much chaos and pain into your life.

For a brief moment, you saw the man you had once loved, hidden beneath the years of betrayal and destruction. Yet, the warmth of his embrace couldn’t erase the past or the weight of his actions.

You pulled back slightly, your voice breaking as you whispered, “Bob… Please, just leave. For their sake.”

Your plea wavered with the emotions threatening to overcome you. The love you thought had long since died began to flicker, betraying your resolve. It was a dangerous ember, one that could easily ignite the uncertainty buried deep within you. Bob noticed the shift, his eyes softening as he gently cupped your cheek with his hand.

“Darlin’,” he said, his voice low and soothing, “I’ll leave if that’s what you want. But just… let me have one cup of your famous hot chocolate. Like old times, yeah? You remember?”

You felt your resolve cracking further as you unconsciously leaned into his touch, nuzzling his hand. His words carried a strange sense of nostalgia that tugged at your heart.

With a sad smile, you nodded, stepping aside to let him in. “Fine… but please, don’t make too much noise. I don’t want the girls to wake up.”

Bob stepped inside, his smile broadening as his eyes roamed the familiar surroundings. The air between you was thick with unspoken words, memories, and the weight of decisions both past and present. You led him into the kitchen, your emotions a storm of conflicted feelings, wondering if letting him in was a mistake—or if the fleeting moment of warmth was worth the risk.

When you turned to try to backtrack, to take control of the situation, the sight of Bob rooted you in place. The man who had ended lives without hesitation now stood frozen before your wall, covered with photographs of the girls. Everyday moments captured with care—birthdays, school plays, lazy afternoons at the park. His gaze, however, was fixed on one particular picture: a family drawing, childishly scrawled in crayon.

It was simple yet heartbreaking—a depiction of all four of you holding hands in a park, smiling under a bright yellow sun. Beneath the figure labeled "Mom" was you, next to two smaller figures marked "Us." But next to the towering figure meant to represent Bob, the words "My Guardian Angel" were written in wobbly letters.

Bob’s face twisted as he stared, his usual confidence crumbling into something vulnerable, raw. Guilt rippled through his expression as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

Finally, he turned to you, who stood leaning against the kitchen doorway, your arms crossed defensively as you waited for him to process whatever he was feeling.

“I guess you couldn’t really tell them their dad’s a red devil, huh?” he murmured, his voice unsteady as he finally walked toward you.

You didn’t look at him, your gaze locked on the stove as you quietly prepared the hot chocolate. “No,” you replied softly but firmly. “I can’t.” 

The silence between you two stretched, thick and heavy, broken only by the soft clinking of the spoon as you stirred the hot chocolate on the stove. Bob watched you intently, his gaze tracing every movement with a mixture of longing and regret. He had missed you—the way you moved, the way your voice filled the room. For all his selfish desires, he knew better than to say it aloud.

Your voice shattered his thoughts.

“You know, Belle—our youngest—found an old picture of you.” You smiled faintly, but the sadness in your eyes cut deeper than any words could. “She was kissing it and asking where you were. I had to remind her… you were in ‘heaven.’”

Bob’s confident demeanor faltered. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze for the first time, guilt etched into every line of his face.

You poured the steaming hot chocolate into a cup, setting it down in front of him with deliberate care. “You know what’s funny?” you continued, your voice tinged with anger and exhaustion. “I feel jealous of how much she loves you. Because I know you don’t deserve it.”

Bob flinched as if the words had physically struck him, but he stayed silent, gripping the cup as if it were the only thing grounding him.

You stared at him, your expression hardening as you leaned forward. “They buried their memories of you with love,” you said, your voice low but sharp. “Now that you’re back…”

Bob finally looked up, meeting your glare, but the weight of your next words shook him to his core.

“What do you want me to tell them? Why?” Your tone cracked with emotion, though your resolve remained unyielding. “There’s no way to revive the man they’ve idealized without killing the truth of the one who actually left.”

The room fell silent again, the tension between you two palpable, as Bob struggled to find words that didn’t exist.

[bkgexe]

to katsuki, you are: aloe on sunburn, sand on the floor of the car’s backseat, hands sticky with melted ice cream.

your mothers were best friends who always aligned their vacation days. the beach was like a second home to the both of you, not always by choice. katsuki still imagines the way waves sound when he’s falling asleep—the ebb and flow. take and give, and take always comes first.

you talked to him about it once when you were sharing a room in a rental cabin—one for your mothers, one for the both of you. you were still young enough that the idea of you two sharing a room didn’t give your mothers a collective conniption. you told him that sometimes hearing the tide was the only thing that could get you to sleep.

katsuki was cautious of the water a healthy amount. his dad told him about riptides when he was younger: being pulled out to sea, salt in your mouth, lungs burning, and the shore so much farther than you’d ever think possible. “it’s creepy,” he told you. still too young to have replaced his instinct to be vulnerable with his instinct to bite.

“you scared of the ocean?”

“no,” he lied.

“it’s okay if you’re a little scared,” you told him. you were two months older than him, and this meant your words held wisdom. “the ocean is meant to be scary, i think.”

“what do you mean by that?”

“if no one was scared of it, everyone would end up out there in the water. there’d be nothing stopping anyone from swimming and then swimming more—” you used to have this habit of pausing mid-sentence like you were cutting yourself off, like you’d run out of breath because of all the words you were trying to get out. katsuki used to find it annoying and deeper than that he used to really like it. you took a deep breath. “and then i guess you’d just swim too far.”

katsuki thinks: riptides, salt, burning. he thinks that his dad was right to warn him over and over again, even though it has heavily shaped his perception of the ocean and his enjoyment of these holidays.

the drives back to hamamatsu were the worst. there was always sand even when you thought you’d gotten rid of all the sand on your body. katsuki would find it later between his toes, clinging to the dry and delicate skin behind his ears. the two of you would sit together in sand in the backseat and swing your legs and tap your flip-flops against each other until they were all lost to the floor of the car. katsuki liked when the side of your foot was pressed against his, when he could feel the sand on you and the warmth of your skin, like the beach took up residence in your body and followed you home.

he’d like it more if the beach stayed where it was. he’d like it if your smile didn’t remind him of a saltlicked breeze and easy sunrise. this is why he started bullying you in the fourth grade, but when his mom asked him why he was being mean to you, he told her it was because you were afraid of the ocean and that made you weak and dumb, because how could the ocean every be a frightening thing? it takes before it gives, but only if you let it.

he hurt you physically for the first time right before he left for ua. you were both graduating. your moms were getting busier, older. the vacations were infrequent and rarely involved the both of you because of how katsuki had been acting. he didn’t want to go, anyway—the beach never felt right without you, without your sticky ice-cream hands and your sandstuck skin.

you said, “congratulations,” even though he’d nearly made you cry just a few days ago. you said, “you’re gonna do great at ua.”

you were a little too close to him. he could smell your body spray. something bad and a little too sweet that reminded him of childhood. he pushed you because you weren’t going to stop him, and because you always acted like this, like he wasn’t treating you any differently than he had when you were both ten and making sandcastles together, and because he could. that’s all. because he could.

you fell hard. not expecting it. you needed two stitches in your right knee. he’d pushed you on the way home, and you’d gone down on the pocked tarmac of your hometown’s rundown main street.

when he saw the blood he remembered the first time you put aloe on a nasty sunburn across his shoulders and he cried because it hurt so bad. he cried and you were kind to him.

he wanted to take away the feeling you had that you were close to him. that you were important to him. he didn’t understand what gave you the idea in the first place that either of these things could possibly be true.

this was when katsuki realized he wasn’t afraid of the ocean—he was instead akin to it. he would be the one to take before he gave. he would be the thing to fear. and so that’s what he decided to become.

he doesn’t see you again until he’s twenty-nine years old. you have avoided him every holiday season that he’s returned home, though he couldn’t say whether you returned home or not. he never saw you. his parents didn’t mention you. if he ran into your mom while he was out grocery shopping with his mom, their conversations revolved around anything that wasn’t you.

he’s tired now. he’s been the thing that people fear. he has taken and taken and taken and he has never truly learned how to give. an ocean can’t only be an ebb.

he takes his mother to the beach. she can’t go by herself anymore because she had a bad hip replacement and loses stamina easily when walking, especially in the sun.

you and your mother are there, on the same stretch of beach, and later he will find out that you’re renting a cabin eerily close to the one his mom has rented for the week. after his mother is laid out sunbathing next to your mother, the two of you head to the water and stand in the low tide, the sand just cool enough not to burn the delicate bottoms of your feet.

you grew into your features perfectly. even the non-conventional parts of you are gorgeous. the thought makes his hands feel clammy. makes him avoid eye contact for more than the obvious reasons.

“you look good,” you tell him, despite the fact that he’s scarred from face to torso and badly. “happy, I mean.”

“don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, leaves the pronoun vague. maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about. maybe he doesn’t. his face heats and he blames the sun. he doesn’t know if he’s been happy in a long time. your knee scarred from the stitches and he didn’t know that until today, right now.

you shrug and you’re already starting to burn. he wouldn’t know that if he hadn’t spent all his youth with you, here, in the sun. even if he can’t see the color, he can tell by time elapsed. you scratch at your shoulders a little, confirming how well your timetables are still etched into his subconscious. “up there in the hero ranks, lots of fans, feared by all… seems like what you wanted when we were kids.”

he’s quiet. the two of you watch a young couple play with their daughter in the foam-edge ocean surf. you’re so pretty that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“is it what you wanted?”

“i was a shitty kid.”

“you weren’t,” you say. “and then something changed and you were.”

the couple are younger than both of you. katsuki doesn’t want kids but thinks: that could have been him, in some other universe, and maybe that version of him would have wanted a daughter when he was that young and maybe he would have learned to give before he took.

“you stopped being afraid of it, i think.”

“of what?” he asks.

you gesture to the ocean before you, the glittering water and the soft spread of ebb-flow tide and the sheer expanse of something too vast for either of you to ever fully comprehend. “you swam too far.”

you’re right. he thinks: he lost his fear of the ocean when he started to believe that he was something just like it. or instead, this: conquering fear and becoming the thing that frightens you are two very different things.

“i shouldn’t have pushed you,” he says. “i shouldn’t have treated you the way i did.”

you nod. chew on a thought. “my mom thinks we’re gonna get married.”

he snorts at the sheer ridiculousness of that concept. the idea that he’d ever be good enough to learn to give for you. “you tell her we’re not?”

“tried a couple times. she’s got the venue picked out and everything.”

“they know why we don’t talk,” he says, but it’s a question. he’s never broached the topic with anyone. he likes to keep it like a hidden septic wound, poke at it to see it ooze.

“i don’t even know that,” you tell him.

he looks at you because he can. he wants you to look back at him but you’re squinting off into the horizon, searching for something. someone that’s gone too far, maybe. even though he’s right here next to you. “because i hurt you,” he says.

“you did.”

“and you didn’t deserve it.”

“i didn’t.”

“i’m sorry.”

you laugh, a sound he hasn’t heard in over a decade. he remembers your flip-flops falling to the floor of the car, the sand on your skin, the trill of laughter when you couldn’t reach them to put them back on. “i’d have liked if it didn’t take you years to get there.”

“it didn’t,” he says. this is the flow. this is the give. this is vulnerability over bite. “i think about it some days—or most. most days.”

“but you never wanted to talk to me about it?”

“i did. i just—” and he looks at you and loses his words like you used to when you were younger because you’re looking at him now too and he thinks: there is nothing but guilt inside of me. he was never meant to be an ocean. he wasn’t built to contain a feeling so vast. “feels impossible to start a conversation like that.”

“you just have to start it,” you say, like it really is that simple.

he doesn’t say anything because you’re right.

“remember when I asked if you were afraid of the ocean?” you ask.

“vaguely.”

“you lied to me. you said you weren’t.”

he remembers that. remembers lying to you. remembers hearing the tide for years and years as he fell asleep, like the ocean was following him, determined to make him remember his own failings. “but i was.”

“you were,” you say. “and so was i.”

when he takes your hand in his, his palms are sweaty and you don’t seem to care at all. and you stand together like that, feet in the ocean, staring down the thing that scared the both of you when you were younger. that still scares you now. “i know it’s not—I know don’t deserve it. but i wanna get to know you again,” he says. swallows his pride and its diamond edges. “if you’d want that.”

“i would,” you say, and this is your give—though from him, you’ve never taken. you should. you deserve to. “i missed being out here with you. didn’t feel right by myself.”

and even though it’s so different now—the both of you and your mothers all in different sections of your lives, seeds flush in a mandarin—it feels right. your presence completes this image. to katsuki, you are many things. to katsuki, you are everything to do with the beach and the sun and the sand.

“missed it too,” he says—and he can remember, just like he remembers the way your skin felt warm on your childhood drives home from the beach, what it felt like to be less of an ocean and more of a human. how empty vastness was nothing in the face of his happiness from just being close to you.

[vampirejohn]

And if I want snippets from all 3 WIPs?????

spike ily quite literally anything for you

and i still call home is the big bang sized preseries deanjohn fic nobody asked for. dean gets john to let him and sam stay in town while sam finishes school (and dean gets to play housewife!!). he doesn't exactly mention it's so sam can go to college, which ofc ends well (i'm lying 😈)

He rolled on his side and spread a nervous hand over John’s waist, and then moved down to feel the hard, thick length of him through his jeans. He had to bite back a groan, his own cock twitching valiantly at the thought of getting to see it, really see it, not just in casual passing the way you did when you lived with someone your whole life. But then John took his wrist, pushed him off. “It’s okay,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m good like this.” “But—” Bemused, Dean shifted sort of awkwardly. “It just… doesn’t seem all that fair to you.” John’s eyes narrowed, the line of his mouth going flat and mean. “Why don’t you let me worry about what’s fair to me?” Dean rolled onto his back again so he didn’t have to look at him, hot behind his ears. Maybe this was new for John—and that was admirable, really—but Dean didn’t remember a time when it wasn’t like this for him. The wanting was born somewhere between tucking him in and holding his hands steady around pistols and pool cues and watch out for Sammy, between dental floss stitches in motel bathrooms and it was never supposed to be like this and it’s okay, Dad and you really want to talk about Sam right now? Dean had been capable of this during all of it.

deanjohn dv screening ✨

“You know we’ve been here a couple of hours already, right? Costs an arm and a leg to park here, too.” “There’s a bit of a wait for the X-ray machine, unfortunately. We’re a smaller hospital.” The nurse was still pulling and turning Dean’s wrist, like there was some threshold of pain she had to put him in before she was allowed to give him some goddamned painkillers. “I promise we’ll get him in as soon as we can.” She raised her eyes to Dean’s for a moment, and he took the opportunity to give her an apologetic smile, the one reserved for civilians caught up in John’s wrath. She didn’t return it, mouth turning down into a frown for just a split second. Finally, she let Dean go, turning her attention on John. “Sir, would you mind stepping out for just one second? There’s a few more diagnostics we’d like to run on Dean.” John’s eyes narrowed infinitesimally, only noticeable if you knew to look for it. “I’m good here,” he said, planting his feet more firmly. Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s fine. Do whatever you have to do.” She studied Dean for a moment, and then nodded decisively. “Alright. Give me a few moments.” She wasn’t out of the room two seconds before John said, “The hell was that about?” Dean was busy trying to find a comfortable position to lay his wrist in his lap. “They think you’re beating me,” he snapped. He watched John’s face turn to stone. “And why the hell would they think that?” “Because you’re being an asshole.” Dean stopped to hiss as a twinge of shocky pain shot up his arm. “Look. If they try to get me alone again, just play along, alright? So we can get off their radar.”

deanjohn abo au is my s1 au deanjohn/samdean double feature, where sam figures out that dean let john claim him and goes absolutely bonkers over it

“You’re fucking deranged. You think you're defending my honor or something? Because I got news for you—ever since you found out, you’ve been stomping around, whining like a jealous bitch. Spineless too, like pretending this is about Dad makes it okay. There something you want from me, Sam? Speak up.” Sam didn’t, only pressed his arm harder across Dean’s throat when he tried to move again. Dean’s mouth curled into a nasty grin. “It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it? Thinking about him on top of me. His knot inside me. D’you think about me begging for it? ‘Cause I do, Sammy, I beg him to shove it so deep I can’t fucking breathe, to put me on my knees and fucking knock me up. Just curious—would you prefer a little brother or a sister?” “You don’t have to convince me you’re a fucking whore, Dean.” The last thing Dean remembered before the world tilted and went black was rearing back and spitting in Sam’s face.

[petorahs]

Love how rtrn fans consistently makes Sunday the villain of the narrative and makes their self proclaimed faves go through a tremendous mischaracterization beam. Like not even talking about headcanons or fanarts here but when discussing canon personalities or analyzing events. My very unpopular opinion of that arc is: Sunday wasn't strict on Aventurine at all.

The power of a pov shouldn't be underestimated. It causes the viewers to get more attached to a character almost instantly because we are going deep into the crooks and crannies of that character which can't help but make us root for them(moreso when they have a tragic backstory). All they saw was a character who has suffered before still suffering. The whole thing of Sunday being so desperate to find Robin gets completely glossed over more often then not. He wasn’t allowed to leave his duties as the family head, being constantly watched by Gopher Wood and Old Oti and also preparing for the Charmony festival. Like he is basically told to ignore his only family's supposed death and only focus on the festival preparations. He doesn’t have any people he can trust to help search for Robin so threatening Aventurine was the only option for him. He may not be entirely fair but it is quite understandable why he did what he did. They saw Sunday as a villain before (and still see him as one), but if you switched the POVs, Aventurine would be the villain to Sunday.

My thoughts are too biased but the recent increase in hate for Sunday and the amount of mischaracterizations on a daily basis is so annoying to see.

exactly anon. this is something all Aventurine fans could stand to be reminded on: he is an asshole sometimes, and he came to Sunday's hometown to re-colonize it.

he is scarily good at his job in the IPC and all that entails - and he's not like Topaz where she cuts corners out of the goodness in her heart either - he's as slimy as corpo guys come and was 100% ready with Ratio to take advantage of Sunday's grief over Robin's death. bro says as much.

they are..... both assholes here.

Sunday was going to put him in Ena's dream (but like. psychologically more painful lol) and Aventurine was, again re-colonizing the guy's planet.

the only thing Aventurine didn't account for with Sunday was making him go through Harmony-assimilation-confronting the past stuff with little Kakavasha and Future him (and honestly? it was good character development for him and for us. thanks ig Sunday).

otherwise, Aventurine's plan went off without a hitch. Robin sold off Penacony's sovereignty for her brother's freedom, Penacony reopened under IPC banners, and Aventurine gets his rest days.

no matter how you look at it, Sunday got the short end of the stick here. yet he took his loss with grace, remains kinder still and even admires Aventurine's control of his unjust fate.

TLDR; yeah stop woobifying Aventurine he worked hard on his schemes <\3

[castlebyersafterdark]

let's play a sleepover game and imagine what the cast, somewhat drunk, were like playing spin the bottle as a little last night fun! its on theme for the show haha. imagine them in the little hangout space basement set, sprawled on the couch, weird afterhours feeling in this former workspace.

the adults are there too, but they peel away after a few joke pecks on the cheek or lips, david kissing winona with gusto, then pretending to go in for a full-on smooch with one of the party and them squealing away.

then the teens' actors stay, but they are a bit more i'm 30 years old about it all haha, sat back on the couches. meanwhile the young cast are having a BALL

i think caleb would be game to kiss anyone, but it would be that kind of spin the bottle kiss where you want to show off youre a good kisser, but its not like you're freaking out and actually enjoying enjoying it for emotional reasons, you know? like imagine the grins as noah and caleb crawl towards each other across the bottle. they would GO FOR IT haha. noah a blushing mess sits back afterwards and playfully fans himself in a swoon while everyone laughs. caleb is smug and playing it cool. it was a nice kiss.

meanwhile if caleb and sadie kissed... its a little more meaningful between them but also nothing new, you know? it's tender, friends and costars. everyone kind of claps and cheers softly. end of an era.

millie is reluctant cos she is married. but in the end she kisses sadie, very sweet and girly sleepover style but a proper lip kiss! the boys kind of reboot a little because thats a surreal thought they've definitely had at some point in their teens even if they're not all into girls lol 🤭🤭 caleb especially clears his throat

then gaten and finn have to kiss and it takes them a lifetime because they can't stop laughing. in the end gaten is grabbing finn's shoulders like 'just kiss me, dude!' and finn is giggling covering his face with his hands, and everyone is yelling and quoting the show that kissing is better without teeth, obviously, finn! duh! and gaten rolls his eyes and shows off his lovely teeth. in the end they peck and grimace afterwards, taking a drink each haha

and of course the tension builds when its finn and noah's turn. everyone hollers despite (because?) they've spent a fair portion of this year kissing already. it still feels like a well-kept secret though, special until the show is shared w the world. they are suddenly more nervous than filming the actual show, looking at each other with suppressed smiles and soft eyes. they slowly move towards each other while the others quietly whoop and goad them on...

carry on vinny? 🤭🤭🤭

Spin the bottle??? 💋🍾 Well, I spun yall a tale under the cut, in typical lofty Vinny style. I certainly carried way on. I wanted to get simple and silly, but my muses had different ideas. Sentiment and sap, not spice. Here's something...

It was like the cameras were on them again. No heavy lights this time, where they tried not to focus on the brightness to the sides, or the sweat from Georgia heat and stress which always summoned the assistants to attack their subtle application of make-up with touch up brushes and towels yet again. Stop fussing. Let us get this over with. No, not over with. Do it finally. Ten years in the making.

They'd spent so much time together on and off set. And... something... had been brewing. Long conversations, soft words deep into the night, much later than responsible when call time was so early the next day. Well, the clock showed it was now that morning.

Curled into each other on the couch at Finn's house, or Noah's apartment, movie credits stuck on pause as they rolled into hour two of breaking down the movie they just watched.

How many times had Noah thought - what if I just kissed him now? We're already going to do it. We were always gonna do it. Well, not it. Actually, that's in the script, too. The scene in bed. All that kissing. And movement and simulation and how the fuck am I going to survive kissing Finn and pretending to have sex with Finn? All for a scene that is going to get edited and cut down and no one will see the hours I had to spend in bed with the guy I've had a crush on for years, skin to skin as we kiss and pretend.

I want so much more. What if I just kissed him now?

He didn't. They saved it for the scripted moment, not knowing it was something that was mutually even being saved, built up into something so big, so life changing on screen - and it was.

The set had been abuzz, with too many crew and staff lingering for The Moment that defined the show. Mike and Will screamed and argued and sobbed and Noah and Finn crashed together under simulated spray of water, passion in the rain, all to be enhanced in post but drenching them now. Cut. A near perfect take. A near perfect kiss. Noah felt like his heart and soul were somewhere up in space as his human form orbited elsewhere. In that moment he was Will Byers, and Will Byers had just been kissed by the love of his life and knew he'd gotten the boy. And Noah fell back into himself and on take two, he kissed Mike as Noah, and Mike kissed back as Finn. They both knew this. Take three they shook it off and let the bleed between realities settle. Take four.

The set was quiet, as empty as they could get away with for the other scene. A skeleton of people. Skin on skin and giggles and gasps - fake, and some real. Their eyes flashed and locked at the real ones, knowing which those were. Professional, of course, and decidedly mostly unsexy with the bright lights and cameras honing in on every pore and choreographed movement, but bodies were bodies, and bodies felt good together. How far did playing pretend take you and where was the line when someone's tongue was in your mouth and hand on your ass?

There were so many kisses in the end. The first kiss in the rain. The kiss that was meant to feel like goodbye when Will pulled Mike close, then ran into what was written to feel like mortal danger. The reunion kiss, when Will survived. The kiss at graduation, short and sweet, blink and you miss it. The kiss at the bar, a final act of bravery to prove that happily ever after could be found for boys like Will and Mike, having faced much stranger -

Yeah. There had been a lot of kisses.

This wasn't like any of them.

All the sudden they were facing each other again. No fake rain. No camera, though Gaten had his phone whipped out. No big, bright lights. Hot still, from the blush of blood on cheeks, flushed from drinking and proximity. Noah took another step closer with a crooked, nervous smile on his curving mouth. Finn had downed a lot of drinks, but he felt stone sober as Noah stood there facing him. Expectant. Scared out of his mind. So fucking happy.

Gaten shushed Caleb from goading a hurry up, dudes as he hit the record button, and Millie eyed the whole scene from her perch on top of the couch with suspicion. She'd seen right through them for a while. The whole year. She was quite over it. Wanted to yell at them to get it over with, having seen cuts of the footage already of the big, passionate moment that would push them into international conversation. Old news. Just kiss. Again. Sadie squeaked out a laugh and covered her mouth as Finn stepped closer and placed hands on Noah's shoulders, looking down at the source of his own personal conflict.

He'd wanted to kiss Noah every single one of those highly tense, intimate movie nights and afternoons stolen away in their trailers in between scenes. Never, quite, almost. Now.

The rest of the room wasn't paying much attention, save for David nudging Winona with giddy intrigue to look over. She winced and cooed and channeled Joyce's supportive smile, then turned back around before anything happened. One less pair of eyes.

And Finn leaned down and pressed terrified lips to Noah's waiting ones. Take number one. He thought he'd memorized the shape of them. Felt different. But it felt right.

Eyes slipped closed. The kiss was chaste. But Noah was up in space again and he was Will Byers, kissing the love his life. Who was he kidding? He and Will were as one. It had been that way for a long time, and for a long time he'd fought it. Where would he be without him? Who would he be? Noah kissed back, all too aware of the most important people in his life staring at him as they unknowingly watched him kiss the guy he'd fallen in love with.

Finn took Noah's face in his palms after the chaste kiss, one where their lips had barely moved as pulses raced. Take two. Noah pulled away to say something in response to the cheer and whoop from their friends recording them on the couch, but Finn pulled him back, sealing his mouth over Noah's a second time. It wasn't enough. Dozens and dozens of takes combined from all of the kisses on set and it wasn't enough.

Finn was a man in the desert and Noah was an oasis. Noah held the wrists of the hands cradling his face with a gentleness and he wished they were anywhere else but surrounded by their fellow drunken cast mates and phone cameras and an open room and a discarded bottle that had spun somewhere under the armchair.

On the last turn - Finn's spin after his kiss with Caleb - Millie had proclaimed that the bottle was pointing at Noah and Finn hadn't protested, but he knew it was pointing at her. Sometimes, friends do lie. And sometimes a lie is better than the truth.

The truth was - Finn did not kiss like Mike. Noah kissed like Will. Until he didn't, until it was all him. The part of lips, too involved for spin the bottle and just like that, all too real. Sadie and Caleb had been suppressing laughter, leaning on each other with hands over mouths as Gaten zoomed in, but he shut the video off when they all saw the way Finn pressed in deeper, opening to Noah who dropped his hands and pulled Finn closer by the elbows, then braced on his chest. Felt good under his hands, solid and defined and Noah missed the skin on skin feeling from the bed on set. He could feel it again, if they wanted. They could do anything they wanted to now. He wasn't afraid anymore.

And there was nothing funny about it as Gaten and Sadie and Caleb exchanged a look. Millie was already back on her phone. Old news. Boring. It was inevitable and there was nothing more for her to do.

"Noah." Spoken against a mouth that sought take five and six. Wanted to outnumber every kiss sitting in digital record on some hard drive to be scrutinized and edited and enhanced by dozens and dozens of people so millions and millions of people could see it and do the same.

They were going to be broadcast kissing into so many living rooms that it made Finn's head spin. They'd probably make it into the newspaper, some struggling magazine. Thousands of blogs. Some random person's lock screen. And one more recorded kiss that was to live alone on Gaten's video gallery.

Finn felt every pair of eyes, real and hypothetical, and wanted nothing more to kiss Noah where no one could ever play it back to him. He wanted a kiss that was his to give to one person only.

"Finn." Noah looked around, tried not to make eye contact with anyone still paying attention. "We should-"

"We should talk. Let's-"

Noah stepped away and backed out of the little set up couches and chairs and spared the group no glance. Finn was at his heels, pace brisk as they zipped through the scattered folks who were stoned or tipsy or both, thankfully disinterested in the antics of the twenty somethings playing a childish game off in the corner. They slipped through the door that stood in between the pinball machines and led down an open hall next to the main sound stage.

Rounding a corner, down another dark hall, Finn grabbed Noah's arm and pulled him towards the wall, where he fell against, bringing Noah up against himself like they'd been standing in the fake basement set.

"Can I kiss you?

"Uh, yeah? Haven't we done that enough that you know how I, I mean. You have to know-"

Finn, giddy, pulled at Noah's shirt and drew him closer, hand around Noah's neck, fingers tapping at his nape to sent a jolting shiver down his spine. Fitting.

"I know. I know. I just wanted to ask. I've never gotten to ask you."

"Have you... wanted to ask?"

"Yeah. For a long time."

Noah beamed and went to say something, but with permission already granted, Finn leaned in and kissed Noah for take number - didn't matter. He kissed him, finally, like no one was watching.

💋💋💋💋

[pushspacetocontinue]

"Great! And as I said before, you're always welcome to go the one I go to whenever, even if getting there isn't as cool."

Travis could understand why Russell hadn't wanted to touch him with a barge pole. The guy gave off 'creep' vibes from a mile off, and from what he had heard, had been putting his hands all over his little brother just to skeeve him out more while he was captured.

"Yeah, I, when, when I first saw it all after the, the first attack happened, I, I was horrified," Russell said, "I can only imagine how, how much it, it hurt Lucien. But when he's ready, I'll be, I'll be helping put it, put it back into shape and just, just like Lucien, it'll come, come bouncing right, right back."

"That's the spirit, Custard," Travis said, "It'll be a double kick in the teeth to those pests."

Russell nodded. He still didn't want to leave Erica out as he had headed up towards the living part. Perhaps he would be able to find some fruit tea while making coffee for everyone else.

"Still, this whole situation is a shitstorm, and I think that's putting it mildly," Travis said, "I'm also glad Russell trusted me enough to ask me to come and lend some muscle."

Travis then reached down and started to get whatever was hiding under the clothes.

"Good call, Erica. There is something," Travis said, as he started to pull it away, "This is the part where it bites my hand off or something, isn't it?"

Travis then smirked. He could certainly tell the story while Ratchet was helpless, and so he began.

"Well, as you've heard, I have the nickname Pervert Mangler. See, there was this politician, well, his son, back in Boston. I just got out of prison, was going to turn my life around, and was just washing his office windows… he'd gone to get a drink or something, I don't remember, then I saw his laptop… "

Travis had to take a deep breath. Even now, that memory threatened to make his anger boil out of control.

"I knew I was going to prison again for what I was going to do, but I decided it was worth it for what he had on it. Made sure to send a picture to my sister-in-law, because I knew she would spread the word, reveal the truth. But then I broke that window, waited in his office for him to come back, and then went absolutely insane on him. I didn't even care if I ended up killing him. I didn't get to of course, but he probably wishes I had. Guy still has to piss through a tube even now."

And of course, he had been utterly disgraced by the public. Not even his father's money or reputation could save him.

"So while you're worth us, I better not be hearing anything about any disgusting comments or worse, trying to touch someone up," Travis warned.

Russell had been coming back down with a tray of cups. There was a cup of peach tea for Erica, and cup of coffee for everyone else.

"You didn't, you didn't tell him about the guy whose nuts you, you smashed with, with a can of beans?" Russell asked.

"I'm sure there'll be another time for that," Travis said, "If this story doesn't get the point across."

"Yay! I'll show you my gym!"

Despite the circumstances, Erica was always happy to make new friends, even more when they had the chance to bond over a common interest.

If anything, having to witness that while Travis searched him, added insult to the injuries Ratchet had sustained while Lucien wiped the sidewalk with him. He flinched when Erica reached over to poke the bruise that was forming on his face.

"No pressure! I can always go get my own drink." the elf replied, "And Lucien will feel better in a bit. He really cares about this place, these guys really hurt him when they destroyed it, even if he doesn’t want to show it."

That would have granted Ratchet a far more special treatment on its own, but she understood it wouldn't be very convenient to search him while taped to the ceiling.

"I’m okay." Erica replied with a shrug, "Like I said, a few bullets can't stop me and I'm coming up with new tricks— I think he's hiding something under his shirt."

Ratchet narrowed his eyes when Erica pointed. Dang it, he was counting on that.

She pushed the bucket closer. "So, what's the story you wanted to tell him?"